Boehner's Lastest Fiscal Cliff Press Conference - Live Webcast

Tyler Durden's picture

At 11:00 am Eastern, the GOP's John Boehner will continue the teleprompted farce, and in not so many words, will announce there has been no progress on a Fiscal Cliff compromise. Alternatively, he may have bought some deep OTM SPY calls expiring shortly, and will misrepresent the situation behind the scenes in hopes for a quick trend reversal, just as he did back on November 16, providing the only "goalseeked" catalyst that could halt a drop in the SPX on its way to unchanged for the year, and, in collaboration with Nancy Pelosi, preventing AAPL from sliding below $400.

Watch it live below:

Live stream videos at Ustream

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docj's picture

Dear Lord, please, I beg you, make it stop!

Unprepared's picture

Hollow voice: "There should be a pause button somewhere"

redpill's picture

He's looking a little pale.  MORE SPRAY TAN!!!

HD's picture

That's not spray tan my friend. That's bullshit excreted out from the mans pores because it can't come out of his mouth fast enough.

Looney's picture

Dear Lord, please, I beg you, make it stop!

No, my child! You deserve them all - YOU elected them.


Ima anal sphincter's picture

Diebold voting machines "elected" them. Handpicked for the bankers.

I gave up on voting. Ass - Dumbo.......traitors all.

odatruf's picture

That's such a damn cop out. Looney is right. We not only voted for all of this, we vote for every fucking time we can.

There isn't one single piece of evidence, not even a hint, that an appreciable number of Americans want anything different than what we are getting.

Sure, they might tell you they want a balanced budget or fiscal stewardship, but then they also don't want higher taxers, nor fewer programs they might have even a slight chance of using, nor do they want the jobs lost that would come from less government spending. Cut foreign aid and the fraud in welfare, they'll say.

I can't wait for the prologue to end and welcome the start of the coming shit show.



SheepDog-One's picture

AH but you must know good and well I didn't vote for any of it Lord! And why is it the people who DID are the ones showered with free checks and goodies? 

Try explaining that one 'Lord'

GMadScientist's picture

You think poor people vote?


Leopold B. Scotch's picture

Plenty do.  Just ask your Dem organizers who make sure they troll the neighborhoods of the downtrodden with Obama Phones while offering free bus rides to the polls.

The trend is your friend's picture

I prayed a long time ago to make it stop but LORD BLANKFEIN denied my request

overmedicatedundersexed's picture

some are posting here on ZH about all us lost souls who voted third party, write in's or did not vote let ol mitt and co down..I am so glad..Fuck the GOP is all I can say..the dems are shit but they honest shit who want to rob us blind and fuck us every which way to sunday..for our own good of course.

Lord Blankcheck's picture

We'll need your soul to fill that request.

francis_sawyer's picture

We need to get this legislation passed so that we can see what's in it [to cry about]...


I forgot, is it bearish or bullish when Boehner speaks?

Squid Vicious's picture

anytime a politician opens his pie-hole, it's bearish for the rest of the world

LongSoupLine's picture

It depends on whether he and/or his insiders have calls or puts that day.

LoneStarHog's picture

Fake Boehner = Viagra Erection ... POS!

Lagging Indicator's picture

Unemployment is dropping, no need to fix the "cliff".


fonzannoon's picture

Translated: Boner get out there and crash this fkin market already!

lolmao500's picture

Boehner should be kicked out of his position and put someone sane in his place.

Unprepared's picture

I fail to see how that would resolve anything in this insane system.

lolmao500's picture

He could not put any bill forward till Obama and Reid bow down to him. He could force 0$ deficit. He could force no debt ceiling raise. He could force withdrawing the troops. He could do a LOT of things.

The speaker of the house with a serious backing is more powerful than the president.

odatruf's picture

I see what you did there: you said that the Speaker, if he had a unicorn fart powered gavel, could do something.  Or at least you might as well have said that.


Zer0head's picture

I just tuned in  and all i heard was my way or the HIway

Ignatius J Reilly's picture

Which happens first?


Fiscal cliff gets "resolved"


NHL resolves its labor dispute



Winston Churchill's picture

Which is more important to the average American sheeple ?

Case closed.

SheepDog-One's picture

'NHL'....whats that a fast food chain like KFC or something?

Ignatius J Reilly's picture

Which is more important to the average American sheeple ?

Case closed.


Kudos, much better question.  Has there ever been a negative Richter Scale measurement?  I'd say that would be the equivalent.

GMadScientist's picture

I think they should hire chicks; they already skate like them.


slaughterer's picture

The negativity of this press conference was relatively subdued and the message was nothing new.  Now we can continue to rally. 

Dr. Engali's picture

Damn I missed it,  and I was so looking forward to a good cry. My whoremoans are running rampant.

pazmaker's picture

This Boner guy doesn't even play the part well!   He is suppose to be the leader of the Red team and even his own team doesn't like him. 

I'm so tired of this red vs blue farce!!! Obummer and boner....I see these guys putting on their show for the masses then going behind close doors laughing at the stupidity of the "patriotic" clowns who believe their lies.

Winston Churchill's picture

I would trust a jonesing junkies promise to stay clean, over the likelyhood of

these assclowns really cutting spending.

Therefore,everybody's taxes are going up .The plan all along.

oleander garch's picture

They are not avoiding the fiscal cliff.  That is a total misnomer.  They are really trying to figure out a way to get more alcohol in the punch bowl.  And the Speaker loves his punchbowl light on fruit juice.  

LFMayor's picture

And when John Boner gazed upon the extend (see what i did there?) of the Debts, he wept Openly. For there were only 401k's left to pillage. These fuckers need skinned alive and rolled in salt. ALL of them, just for being there.

mendigo's picture

Fiscal ClusterFuck is more appropriate...
to be followed by Fiscal Fisting.

LouisDega's picture

Nice picture of Boner crying. Bullish for Kimberly clark, Makers of kleenex

slaughterer's picture

Can't we get an mature adult into Congress to make them grow up and act responsiby?  

The whole world is laughing at you again USA.  

GMadScientist's picture

Certainly not in the House, it's one big Tea Party for children, but I hear the average IQ of the Senate increased recently.


SheepDog-One's picture

Fake data now building a bridge over the cliff....all is well.

virgilcaine's picture

All we need to see is Mitt or Paul Ryun for a real good laugh...bwaahahh...

q99x2's picture

I think they went over the edge without us. There is no video now.