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The Obama-Phone Is Back - But This Time It's Real

Tyler Durden's picture




 

While some saw the clip of the lady implying 'victory for Obama means phones for everyone' as perhaps exaggerated out-of-context right-wing propaganda - as that would be preposterous right? - it appears San Francisco took it a little more serious. As SFGate reports, the California Public Utilities Commission is expected to approve (within a couple of weeks) a plan to offer homeless and other poor people in California 'virtually free cell phones and service'. The plan is funded through the federal LifeLine program and is designed to enable these individuals to 'keep in touch with family, potential employers and others crucial to improving their lives'. "This is great - it is transformative for homeless and low-income people," said San Francisco's head of homeless initiatives, adding that, fundamentally, to be in the mainstream of our society you have to have a phone." Setting up the program in California has been no easy task, officials said. "I would prefer it to be free..." said Dufty, and said he would explore other funding sources. Perhaps worth remembering the cost of kidding ourselves once again.

 

Via SFGate:

Homeless and other poor people in California are on track to soon get virtually free cell phones and service so they can keep in touch with family, potential employers and others crucial to improving their lives.

 

The cell phones would be handed out through a federally funded Lifeline program - already operated by service provider Assurance Wireless in 36 other states - that is likely to win final approval in the next couple of weeks from the California Public Utilities Commission.

 

State PUC officials have been reviewing the Lifeline proposal from Assurance Wireless for three years. Word came Thursday that all but a minor detail had been approved, ending years of effort by advocates for homeless people.

 

"This is great - it is transformative for homeless and low-income people," said Bevan Dufty, San Francisco's head of homeless initiatives,

 

...

 

"Fundamentally, to be in the mainstream of our society you have to have a phone," he said. "And really, for the homeless population, you need a cell phone because they don't have a home to hard-wire one into. We really need this plan."

 

...

 

The state's decades-old Lifeline program, like those all over the country, pays for all but a few dollars of the monthly phone bill for poor people, generally meaning those whose annual income is below $14,702. But until now, California's PUC rules only authorized Lifeline service for "wireline" phones, meaning traditional phones wired into residences - and those rules didn't authorize anything for free.

 

Getting set up not easy

Setting up the program in California has been no easy task, officials said.

...

Approval of the cell phone program came Thursday from the telecommunications specialists at the CPUC, which oversees the state's Lifeline plans.

 

...

 

"We're very excited," said Jayne Wallace, an Assurance Wireless spokeswoman. "We know from experience this can make a big difference in people's lives."

 

...

 

Cost of program

 

...

 

Assurance Wireless first offered its free cell phone proposal to the CPUC in 2009 and got tentative clearance in 2011. It has been a slow process since.

 

...

 

Immediately, however, the customer will be rolled into Assurance Wireless' Lifeline plan, which will provide 250 free minutes of talk time and 250 free text messages per month. The customer will then get the initial $20 back as a credit to be used whenever he or she exceeds the talk and text limits.

 

"I would prefer it to be free, but this at least opens the door," said Dufty. He said he would explore if other funding sources could backfill the up-front $20 charge.

 

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Tue, 12/11/2012 - 04:05 | 3051291 aleph0
aleph0's picture

Re:  "now you can track every possible debt slave with GPS like accuracy"

Almost there .. in Germany :
  Germany / Brandenburg :  Older unemployed must wear Pedometers to make sure they're actively looking for jobs

Hartz IV Job Center Brandenburg distributed pedometers for older unemployed
http://translate.google.com/translate?sl=de&tl=en&js=n&prev=_t&hl=en&ie=UTF-8&layout=2&eotf=1&u=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.freitag.de%2Fautoren%2Fgebe%2Fschritte-zaehlen-fuer-das-jobcenter

 

Mon, 12/10/2012 - 23:27 | 3050842 Unprepared
Unprepared's picture

A friend of mine told me that long long ago before the beginning of time, people far apart (like one block away) couldn't text each other because they didn't have phones.

I laughed at him and said they could've just used skype or facebook instead, stupid.

Mon, 12/10/2012 - 23:09 | 3050766 max2205
max2205's picture

Ma crack dealer iz hards to findz

Mon, 12/10/2012 - 23:10 | 3050771 surf0766
surf0766's picture

He gonna do more!

Tue, 12/11/2012 - 02:08 | 3051190 Matt
Matt's picture

Article title: "But this time it's real!"

in the article: "The cell phones would be handed out through a federally funded Lifeline program - already operated by service provider Assurance Wireless in 36 other states"

So it's only real once it happens in California? The other 36 States that have this program don't count?

Mon, 12/10/2012 - 23:11 | 3050772 max2205
max2205's picture

This takes the total to not work to $90,020.

Mon, 12/10/2012 - 23:11 | 3050777 Iriestx
Iriestx's picture

I don't want to live in this world anymore.

Mon, 12/10/2012 - 23:30 | 3050852 CrockettAlmanac.com
CrockettAlmanac.com's picture

I want to sail away to a distant shore and live like an ape man.

Mon, 12/10/2012 - 23:55 | 3050930 Ginsengbull
Ginsengbull's picture

You can make your own island beneath your own two feet, if you are truly free in your spirit.

Mon, 12/10/2012 - 23:31 | 3050854 backhandtopspin...
backhandtopspinslicer's picture

let's make the ruling elite mofo's not want to live in this world shall we????????!!!!!!!!!!!!

Tue, 12/11/2012 - 00:03 | 3050950 SAT 800
SAT 800's picture

you need better drugs; opiates; opiates are good. raw opium is particularly good for making the world very palatable. I was on a steady diet of raw opium while I was living on my crusing yacht with my college girl crew when I was 33 and retired. The world seemed alright; especially around Hawaii and Tahiti.

Mon, 12/10/2012 - 23:13 | 3050781 LongSoupLine
LongSoupLine's picture

Holy fuck these idiots find new ways every day to fuck the middle class up the ass.  what a bunch of completely fucked up assholes these decision makers are.  they need to be stopped by any means possible.  fucking idiots.

Tue, 12/11/2012 - 00:09 | 3050968 Freddie
Freddie's picture

Well the left/RINOs need to attack "tea baggers" and Hollywood star Jamie Foxx can talk about his thrill and desire to kill white people.

Tue, 12/11/2012 - 00:33 | 3051021 knukles
knukles's picture

And what woulda happened had it been say, Ted Nugent talking about how thrilling it could be to shoot black people?

 

Tue, 12/11/2012 - 00:41 | 3051039 akak
akak's picture

Trav777 getting a boner?

Tue, 12/11/2012 - 00:58 | 3051075 SAT 800
SAT 800's picture

!!

Mon, 12/10/2012 - 23:16 | 3050786 Big Slick
Big Slick's picture

It will happen before 2016

Mon, 12/10/2012 - 23:15 | 3050788 Oldballplayer
Oldballplayer's picture

I don't care. No one ever calls me anyway. Maybe I will get a misdial once in a while.

Mon, 12/10/2012 - 23:17 | 3050792 tony bonn
tony bonn's picture

this program is long over due and should be adoped by other states and be made free.....those of you who have not been so poor or homeless and without the capacity to empathize are clueless about the difficulties of homelessness and probably so arrogant and stuck on yourselves that you don't give a fuck anyway - your self indulgent iphone lives are disgusting...

Mon, 12/10/2012 - 23:21 | 3050819 Oldballplayer
Oldballplayer's picture

Are you shitting me? Is our world so fucked up that people who are homeless are more concerned with being able to fucking text than getting out of their situation? Do they need a phone for some HR person to call them back and tell them they did not get the job because they smell like piss?

I have been down and out. I appreciated a nice meal and a warm bed. It was a treat to watch TV. If I had anyone to call...I would have been at their house.

Who are these people going to call? Each other?

Mon, 12/10/2012 - 23:53 | 3050914 Ginsengbull
Ginsengbull's picture

They can't sell rocks unless their customers can get in touch.

Tue, 12/11/2012 - 00:11 | 3050973 SAT 800
SAT 800's picture

Didn't you read the release? it's important they be able to call potential employers. HA HA HA HA. ROFL.This is what happens when you let people spend other peoples money; or as Margaret Thatcher summed it up so nicely; "Socialism is fine until you run out of other peoples money to spend". Right now we're in the phase where we're spending virtual money; it isn't anyone's; it doesn't even exist. 100%Silver Bullion or else. it won't be long now, folks.

Mon, 12/10/2012 - 23:21 | 3050825 csmith
csmith's picture

Free.

Right...

Mon, 12/10/2012 - 23:26 | 3050840 Oldballplayer
Oldballplayer's picture

Yeah, no kidding.

I know YOU did not build the telecom infrastructure. Because I did. All over New England from the early eighties until 2003. All the government did I'd press us for kick backs, contributions, and generally obstruct us every inch of the way.

Yeah...free.

Tue, 12/11/2012 - 01:08 | 3051102 salvadordaly
salvadordaly's picture

Oh it's free all right! Somewhere out there you will find a congressman who has a brother in law who operates a business that builds free charging stations for these phones so the homeless have a place to charge their "FREE" phones. How else will they get the power to be able to communicate with their families? They need "FREE" charging stations as well, placed all over the city! I happen to know a guy that builds them, and there is a bonus "FREE" hot coco in the winter time! IT'S ALL FREE! WHAT A FUCKING DEAL!!!! Oh and did I mention the free shower stalls, with a TV lounge to catch up on the latest world events, AND IT'S ALL FREE!!!!!!!!!!!! WHAT A FUCKING DEAL, GOD DAMN I LOVE AMERICA!!!!!!!!!!

Mon, 12/10/2012 - 23:33 | 3050866 TrulyBelieving
TrulyBelieving's picture

But not as arrogant or greedy as you tony bonn, I'll not ask you to pay for my phone, or anything for that matter. You are nothing but a common thief, in cahoots with a corrupted govt. to steal from the deserving. No wonder you are poor.

Mon, 12/10/2012 - 23:59 | 3050938 Doubleguns
Doubleguns's picture

Tony, where do those homeless plug in a phone to charge it. Under the bridge, up your ass, up thier ass. They will be trading phone calls for booze just as soon as they can find a charging station. LOL

Tue, 12/11/2012 - 00:39 | 3051037 knukles
knukles's picture

NA and AA meetings where they also get a cupa Joe and a doughnut.
Food banks and shelters.
Outdoor sockets behind buildings amongst the dumpsters....
There be a whole lotta places to charge them, no more difficult than finding a tap for water.

The question is what the fuck are they gonna do with them....

And while I'm fucking at it, hows about limiting what an EBT card can buy to healthy foods instead of Twinkies and Doritos....

Fucking out of control.

Tue, 12/11/2012 - 01:47 | 3051158 Dave Thomas
Dave Thomas's picture

Once the initial charge of everyones free phone runs out, they'll enact a federally mandated carbon free charging kiosk initiative. Of course it will also be blaring Starbucks (TM) and Carl's Jr. (TM) commercials at you. You can download coupons right to your phone!

 

Tue, 12/11/2012 - 00:06 | 3050958 SAT 800
SAT 800's picture

I'm so arrogant and snobbish that I definetely don't give a fuck. it's so nice to be able to think of all the poor suffering while I enjoy myself on my private estate in Hawaii. It makes it all so much better, somehow.

Tue, 12/11/2012 - 00:41 | 3051041 knukles
knukles's picture

Z'at you, Barry?

Tue, 12/11/2012 - 00:59 | 3051083 cxl9
cxl9's picture

In Portland, Oregon the homeless drink frappuccinos and carry iPhones. And the shelters serve only "organic, sustainable, locally-sourced food". You think I'm kidding. Well, I say, more, more! Bring it on! The sooner we crash this bitch and thin out the herd, the sooner we can restore the Republic and rebuild a nation that we're all proud to live in.

Mon, 12/10/2012 - 23:18 | 3050800 Sabibaby
Sabibaby's picture

They should call Obama and tell him they're homeless. Then maybe he'll buy them a home too!

Tue, 12/11/2012 - 00:15 | 3050982 SAT 800
SAT 800's picture

Good plan! Could solve the housing over-supply. Of course, a lot of the homeless are of the same mentally limited gene pool as our "president"; and had "free houses" already; you know the ones you could buy if you were the right color and you had never had a job. At least some of them did get repossessed, you know.

Mon, 12/10/2012 - 23:18 | 3050801 RobotTrader
RobotTrader's picture

Why not?  The U.S. Deficits can be financed with ease at near zero percent.

I say why not start handing out checks Krugman style?

Our debt will get downgraded again and the debt ceiling raised, but it won't matter because the Bond Vigilantes like Bill Gross and Mohammed "Rubber Lips" El-Erian are too busy handling huge fund inflows from all parts of the world wanting fixed income with no risk.

Anyone seen the massive new PIMCO building under construction at "Facist" Island in Newport Beach?

Pure state of the art with ocean views, Gross and El-Erian have 5 minute commutes to Lido Isle and Big Canyon residences.

Mon, 12/10/2012 - 23:22 | 3050826 fonzannoon
fonzannoon's picture

i actually agree robo. send me my damn check krugman style. let's party.

Mon, 12/10/2012 - 23:33 | 3050867 Unprepared
Unprepared's picture

Krug.. Krug... Krug.. Krugman Style.

Banzai, you've got work to do.

Mon, 12/10/2012 - 23:29 | 3050833 akak
akak's picture

Go back to your penny daytrading in your momma's basement and hanging out with the crack whores, asswipe --- you were not missed in the least during your too-short absence here.

Mon, 12/10/2012 - 23:30 | 3050856 Unprepared
Unprepared's picture

Speak for yourself akak, I miss those fake melons.

Tue, 12/11/2012 - 00:06 | 3050957 a growing concern
a growing concern's picture

What inspred the Tylers to unlock the basement door and let the riffraff back in?  Are they feeling particularly generous around the holiday season this year?  Maybe it's like that one time per year when you have to go see those weird relatives that you don't want to see, but you know that once it's over you're good to go for 364 more days...

Tue, 12/11/2012 - 00:46 | 3050993 akak
akak's picture

God (and Tyler) only knows.

What inspired them to employ Leo "I never met a Bernanke monetization that I didn't like" Kovilakis as a featured commentator in the first place, or to tolerate the egregious trolls like MasterBater, JohnnyBravo, RedNeckRepugnicant, MathMan, HarryWanger, or AnAnonymous for so long, or at all?

Tue, 12/11/2012 - 08:45 | 3051475 Ralph Spoilsport
Ralph Spoilsport's picture

I'm sorta glad AnAnonymous is here if only for the hilarious riffing you and TheFourthStooge-ing do on his crispier bits. Funny shit.

Tue, 12/11/2012 - 08:59 | 3051486 akak
akak's picture

Woohoo, make me laugh!

More 'american' offuscation, running from reality, inability to face their 'american' monolizing of the speeching means, farming the poor and extorting the weak, blobbing-up, stealing land from Indians to plant negro slavery ever since 4th July, 1776.

In US Citizenism, the grope is all. The grope, the grope is the mattering thing.

But in an 'american' world, no escape from 'americanism' eternal nature. 

Alas, alas, triple alas.  Just have to bear with it.

 

;-)

Mon, 12/10/2012 - 23:56 | 3050934 Konami Code
Konami Code's picture

You could hit a golf ball to Big Canyon with a 9 iron from that building.

Tue, 12/11/2012 - 00:06 | 3050949 a growing concern
a growing concern's picture

 "...fixed income with no risk"...

 

How is earning a negative 5% real return on your money considered "fixed" or "no risk"?

Tue, 12/11/2012 - 00:43 | 3051049 knukles
knukles's picture

Both

Tue, 12/11/2012 - 00:18 | 3050987 SAT 800
SAT 800's picture

"Facist" is mis-spelled, dear; and I told you repeatedly I preferred your other pink push up bra.

Tue, 12/11/2012 - 00:23 | 3050999 SAT 800
SAT 800's picture

In all seriousness, dear; what you fail to understand is that the future always arrives; and is almost always predictable. What you are describing is the super-inflation of the mother of all bubbles; the world-nuclear-bubble that will take everything with it when it pops. This is the bubble that will produce the $500/oz. silver; because when it pops there will be no exits left.

Tue, 12/11/2012 - 02:02 | 3051182 dogbreath
dogbreath's picture

it can't be true, its alive

Mon, 12/10/2012 - 23:20 | 3050812 pleseus
pleseus's picture

Obama building his base.  Republicans seem clueless as to why they lost the election.  Here is one example why.

Mon, 12/10/2012 - 23:48 | 3050904 Ginsengbull
Ginsengbull's picture

Tell them that cel phones prevent brain cancer.

 

Remember Johnny Cochran?

Mon, 12/10/2012 - 23:50 | 3050909 krispkritter
krispkritter's picture

You mean he's building Michelle's base. The Octagon 2016; Hillary vs. Michelle.  Battle of the Backends.  

They're going to have to widen the doors in the White House.

Tue, 12/11/2012 - 00:46 | 3051055 knukles
knukles's picture

Oh dear God, it's still 2012....
Need we already start?

Tue, 12/11/2012 - 03:24 | 3051263 JR
JR's picture

Your comment, pleseus, reminds me of a cartoon I saw this morning of an elephant wearing a big GOP button, bellowing:

We need to do something to attract the Hispanics.

We need to do something to attract the blacks.

We need to do something to attract the youth.

We need to do something to attract the women.

 

We need to become Democrats!

Which is perfectly true. And the people are mad, livid. You can hear the change. You can sense the catastrophe. But the politicians don’t see it or hear it. So it’s good to let the Obamas and Michelles and Jerry Browns and Boehners and Pelosis carry on ad nauseum with their Marxist redistributions. There’s backlash comin’ ... and it’s going to slap them right in the face.

Mon, 12/10/2012 - 23:27 | 3050813 Caviar Emptor
Caviar Emptor's picture

Ah, yes, this too is biflationary nirvana as ever more overcapacity gets built into the system (without increased real demand for telecom) while general costs (to you) will become more (ahem) upwardly mobile (need to print more monopoly money to finance this, and bandwidth don't grow on trees! They'll pass on costs to you and me fersure!)

Mon, 12/10/2012 - 23:21 | 3050816 gimli
gimli's picture

For assistance dial:

1 800 - PLONK

Mon, 12/10/2012 - 23:21 | 3050820 Unstable Condition
Unstable Condition's picture

Well, you could always tax human and farm animal exhalation to help fund it, that evil CO2 must be stopped, er become a new excuse for a revenue source!

 

FORWARD!

 

 

 

Mon, 12/10/2012 - 23:47 | 3050901 Ginsengbull
Ginsengbull's picture

The global warming bugs believe that the methane that comes out the other end is a more potent greenhouse gas.

Tue, 12/11/2012 - 00:02 | 3050948 Unstable Condition
Unstable Condition's picture

True, it actually is, but there our more of us to tax!

Nothing like good old fear through "science" to rape people of more wealth under the guise of "saving" them ...

 

Tue, 12/11/2012 - 00:19 | 3050988 Ginsengbull
Ginsengbull's picture

You are missing the revenue generating (or dodging) aspects of a flatulence tax.

 

I drink beer, so a portion of my emissions have already been taxed as co2 at the brewery, but non-beer drinkers would obviously produce more methane, which could be taxed at a higher rate.

 

Hell, I might actually end up with a refund, because my methane isn't as concentrated as theirs.

Tue, 12/11/2012 - 00:41 | 3051036 Unstable Condition
Unstable Condition's picture

+1

That settles it, an emmission tax for all humans and farm animals. It covers all bodily gasseous expulsion!

There, everything's fixed!!! :-D

Tue, 12/11/2012 - 08:25 | 3051450 lakecity55
lakecity55's picture

H.R. 6969: The Fresh Air Renewal Tax.  FART.

 

Mon, 12/10/2012 - 23:22 | 3050827 krispkritter
krispkritter's picture

I want my Lifeline too...send me my tax dollars back ya parasites...

Mon, 12/10/2012 - 23:23 | 3050828 Dr. Engali
Dr. Engali's picture

I just love it how these people try to convince us it's "free" when we know who is really paying the bill. Just add another item to the longg list of things we don't have when the welfare state collapses. Which can't happen quick enough.

Mon, 12/10/2012 - 23:36 | 3050876 Unprepared
Unprepared's picture

When everything is valued in (fiat) money, the difference between priceless-free, valueless-free and costless-free gets blurred.

Tue, 12/11/2012 - 01:12 | 3051112 SAT 800
SAT 800's picture

I like that; I might use it as a quote. Very true; blurrier and blurrier. Spending virtual money based on rubber interest that will never be paid on the underlying environmentally correct bonds that soundlessly self-destruct and turn into; nothing.

Mon, 12/10/2012 - 23:47 | 3050832 jomama
jomama's picture

i'd still prefer to string up the rich vs. the poor.

Mon, 12/10/2012 - 23:25 | 3050836 alien-IQ
alien-IQ's picture

Other than providing an opportunity to once again slam the nigger in the White House, this is an important story because.......?

Mon, 12/10/2012 - 23:30 | 3050838 aka_ces
aka_ces's picture

One more group being tracked by the surveillance state  ...

Mon, 12/10/2012 - 23:28 | 3050843 booboo
booboo's picture

Afro Engineering fairness.

Mon, 12/10/2012 - 23:30 | 3050846 Caviar Emptor
Caviar Emptor's picture

EBT, Phone Home!

Tue, 12/11/2012 - 01:14 | 3051117 SAT 800
SAT 800's picture

OMG; laughing too hard. coughing up my tea through my nose.

Mon, 12/10/2012 - 23:30 | 3050850 backhandtopspin...
backhandtopspinslicer's picture

Dang! These mofo's want to keep track of the homeless too!! This sheet be getting serious now y'all!!!!!

Mon, 12/10/2012 - 23:43 | 3050893 Ginsengbull
Ginsengbull's picture

It's 10 pm. Do you know where your debt slaves are?

Tue, 12/11/2012 - 03:06 | 3051253 Oldrepublic
Oldrepublic's picture

FEMA and the CC of American needs to call them regarding their new "home."

Mon, 12/10/2012 - 23:31 | 3050857 surf0766
surf0766's picture

ipads are a civil right !

Mon, 12/10/2012 - 23:45 | 3050896 Unprepared
Unprepared's picture

If only the consittution mattered, an amendement would have been made:

 

We hold these truths to be self-evident, that although all men are created equal, some are more equal than others, that they are endowed by their Central Bankers with certain unalienable Entitlements, that among these are iPhones, iPads and the pursuit of other iGadgets.

Tue, 12/11/2012 - 06:11 | 3051350 A Nanny Moose
A Nanny Moose's picture

..and ponys. Don't forget the ponys

Mon, 12/10/2012 - 23:34 | 3050863 ekm
ekm's picture

The way it is going, everything will be provided for free to whomever is rated as poor (fat, owns a car, drunk all day, but no job).

 

I give it 2-3 years that every single human soul in California will stop working and would voluntarily be poor.

Tue, 12/11/2012 - 01:17 | 3051120 SAT 800
SAT 800's picture

Nope; the Mexican Illegals will still be trimming up the landscapping for bean tacos.

Mon, 12/10/2012 - 23:36 | 3050868 dolph9
dolph9's picture

First of all, remember that the state and the corporations collude in this.  For corporations it's just the cost of doing business...they'll stop doing it the moment they see it affect their balance sheet.  It was always this way, with the affirmative action jobs and corporate freebies.

So you are mistaken if you think this is a left vs. right sort of thing.  Everybody just passes the bullshit along and hopes to live another day, make a few bucks and exit before their stupid plans fail.

Second of all, do not think this is limited to just one state.  This is a nationwide problem, and besides, we still live in one nation so what happens "there" affects people everywhere through the associated costs and of course word of mouth which spreads, so other states end up doing the same thing.

See you have to understand what America has turned into.  It's all about getting your share of the free (or low cost) swag, whether you are working or not.  The more connected you are at top or bottom, the more you get and the less you pay.

The less connected you are (the vast majority of working stiffs) the less you get and the more you pay.

Mon, 12/10/2012 - 23:33 | 3050869 chump666
chump666's picture

Not as good as the original mix, still funny though

*Obama Phone*

http://youtu.be/pA1sVqSIfYA

Mon, 12/10/2012 - 23:35 | 3050870 EscapingProgress
EscapingProgress's picture

Poor is the new rich.

Mon, 12/10/2012 - 23:35 | 3050872 Caviar Emptor
Caviar Emptor's picture

Me buy phone in xchange for crack. Me sell phone back to Foxcon

Mon, 12/10/2012 - 23:35 | 3050874 Dr. Gonzo
Dr. Gonzo's picture

If they all got a time machine it would make it easier for them to do time travel to other worlds too...after they land that big job with their cell phone of course and build up some vacation time. My concern is only that everyone down and out gets all their dreams to come true. That's what it's all about. 

Mon, 12/10/2012 - 23:41 | 3050888 akak
akak's picture

 

If they all got a time machine it would make it easier for them to do time travel to other worlds too...

Make me laugh.

Obviously, you are unaware of AnAnonymous' magical lightning-powered flying rickshaw of Benjamin Franklin inventionism of 'american' fabled past, with which 'american' Chinese Citizenism citizens conquered and blobbed-up 16th century Easter Island, according to their eternal nature.

But when 'american' historical ignorance is the mattering thing, just have to bear with it ...

Tue, 12/11/2012 - 01:20 | 3051123 SAT 800
SAT 800's picture

Free raw opium would be so much better. not good for Thunderbird sales, tho.

Tue, 12/11/2012 - 06:10 | 3051349 A Nanny Moose
A Nanny Moose's picture

You mean its not about Hokey Pokey anymore?

Mon, 12/10/2012 - 23:38 | 3050879 Savvy
Savvy's picture

Facepalm.

Mon, 12/10/2012 - 23:42 | 3050892 alien-IQ
alien-IQ's picture

Has "welfare state" become the new "bitches" on ZH?

Seems like that's the new go-to, catch-all phrase.

I'm eagerly awaiting the next iteration of this meme. I suspect "welfare state bitches" is a sure-to-be-a-hit-rolls-off-the-tongue winner.

Mon, 12/10/2012 - 23:54 | 3050919 Unprepared
Unprepared's picture

Yeah, because "warfare state" is tired. But I don't like anything that has "fare" in it, like the public transit's "fare is fair". Actually, I don't like any word consisting of F and R syllables (e.g. fear, far, free...)

Mon, 12/10/2012 - 23:55 | 3050927 A Lunatic
A Lunatic's picture

With the exception of FuckeR of course.................

Mon, 12/10/2012 - 23:59 | 3050940 magpie
magpie's picture

If you are pissed about the nomenclature, go for neologisms...like Obamatopia...the state he built for you

Tue, 12/11/2012 - 00:23 | 3051000 alien-IQ
alien-IQ's picture

The state "he" built? Really? Because no other administration or corporate interest had anything whatsoever to do with the building of our current "state"?

Are you serious?

Tue, 12/11/2012 - 00:34 | 3051017 magpie
magpie's picture

No of course not. Generations of Americans built it, nameless ones, crony politicians, entrepreneurs etc.

What is intended today is curtly put building a rehash of FDR in blackface, but imho a final splurge before the breakdown, e.g. End of the British Empire.

Mon, 12/10/2012 - 23:44 | 3050894 quasimodo
quasimodo's picture

Nice to know I will probably be paying for some fucking asswipe to text his buddy in Compton? WTF over?! I don't even live in the fucking state.

Mon, 12/10/2012 - 23:49 | 3050906 alien-IQ
alien-IQ's picture

Compton? How did you arrive at Compton...considering you don't even live in the state? What made you think of Compton?

Tue, 12/11/2012 - 00:38 | 3051032 WAMO556
WAMO556's picture

Who gives a fuck. Let's try Barrio Logan or Niland (slab city) that was an example. Now quit being part of the problem and become part of the solution.

Mon, 12/10/2012 - 23:55 | 3050928 suteibu
suteibu's picture

Tracking devices.  The government knows where everybody else is.

Tue, 12/11/2012 - 00:03 | 3050951 indio007
indio007's picture

This is all paid for by the Universal Service Charge. A small fraction of which goes to low income phone service. Actually you don't hav to get a cell , you can get a landline instead.

 

Anyhow, this the phone industries private money laundering slush fund mandated by the gov't.

Maybe you should bitch about that instead?

Tue, 12/11/2012 - 00:21 | 3050995 Freddie
Freddie's picture

The Universal Service Charge was an Al Gore system.  Wow Tyler is getting banner ads for the Federal Lifeline Porgram aka ObamaPhones.

Tue, 12/11/2012 - 00:07 | 3050963 Dkizzle49855
Dkizzle49855's picture

As I stated in a earlier post, I can't wait to depart this shit stain of a state in 2 weeks for Texas. This post is just today's version the latest insanity coming from the golden state.

Tue, 12/11/2012 - 00:37 | 3051029 SAT 800
SAT 800's picture

People are more polite in open carry states. I'm rooting for Texas to seccede; personally.

Tue, 12/11/2012 - 00:53 | 3051066 knukles
knukles's picture

CA is an open carry state.

In SF it's legal to walk around in leather chaps with your dick hanging out in the open.

Tue, 12/11/2012 - 01:02 | 3051089 akak
akak's picture

You say that like it is a bad thing.

Tue, 12/11/2012 - 01:08 | 3051099 Bastiat
Bastiat's picture

LOL!

Tue, 12/11/2012 - 01:24 | 3051128 SAT 800
SAT 800's picture

Oh, cool. I didn't know that. I assumed they made firearms as illegal as possible.

Tue, 12/11/2012 - 00:08 | 3050964 notadouche
notadouche's picture

Brought to you by the same state that finances new schools with "payday loan" scheme.  In a year or so Cali will wonder why this "free" system is costing so damned much.

Tue, 12/11/2012 - 00:11 | 3050976 Meatballs
Meatballs's picture

If you think about it, this is not that bad an idea.  How the fuck else do these people have a chance of getting off the street? There are truly needy, determing that need is something else entirely.

 

Tue, 12/11/2012 - 00:18 | 3050985 notadouche
notadouche's picture

"Who you gonna call, Homeless Busters?"  WTF is a homeless guy going to do with a phone other than sell it or get it stolen.  Remember the NY cop that bought shoes for the homeless guy and a day later the guy was shoeless again.  The notion they will be able to stay in contact with family seems ludicrous believing that if they had family worth staying in touch with they wouldn't be homeless, they would be on their families couch.  Like most ideas that come from the high minded liberals, it sounds good in theory but in the real world it sucks and is unworkable.

Tue, 12/11/2012 - 00:24 | 3051003 akak
akak's picture

I thought I was poor when I had no shoes, until I met a man who had no cell phone.

Tue, 12/11/2012 - 00:26 | 3051010 notadouche
notadouche's picture

How are they going to keep them charged?   Will these phones not have a statemtne attached to it keeping track of the minutes.  What back alley or street corner will that be mailed to?

Tue, 12/11/2012 - 08:10 | 3051431 lakecity55
lakecity55's picture

Liberal thought process stops at "free phone." The charging, infrastructure stuff never enters the picture.  Now, after the homeless guys riot, they will add another tax to build charging stations in public for the phones.  The homeless will use them to run drop cords to power stuff in their alleys and tents. I can see this really going somewhere.

Tue, 12/11/2012 - 00:17 | 3050983 lolmao500
lolmao500's picture

Bullish :

http://www.defensenews.com/article/20121210/DEFREG04/312100010/U-S-Propo...|topnews|text|FRONTPAGE

U.S. Proposes Major Precision-Guided Bomb Sale with Israel
Tue, 12/11/2012 - 01:31 | 3051135 SAT 800
SAT 800's picture

Well, it;s about time, that's all I can say. those non-precision bombs just aren't getting the job done.

Tue, 12/11/2012 - 00:21 | 3050996 JKearney3153
JKearney3153's picture

i'm arranging a boat ride to Iceland, anyone else wanna hop on board to the land where banksters are hung and socialists are stoned in public?

Tue, 12/11/2012 - 00:45 | 3051054 tsx500
tsx500's picture

Terrrrist  !!

Tue, 12/11/2012 - 00:52 | 3051063 helping_friendl...
helping_friendly_book's picture

We here spell that tourist.

 

Tue, 12/11/2012 - 02:28 | 3051217 Matt
Matt's picture

I think you have to speak Icelandic or they don't let you stay? (One of the hardest tongues to learn)

Also, I'm not a fan of the climate there.

Tue, 12/11/2012 - 00:30 | 3051016 adr
adr's picture

I'm waiting for Obamatutes. Free sex for everyone. Sex is more important than a phone.

Seriously though, where is a homeless person going to charge thier free phone?

Or do we help out the green jobs by giving every homeless a free Bloom Box they can pee in for power, or is it fart in it to produce the gas needed for power.

Tue, 12/11/2012 - 00:40 | 3051040 SAT 800
SAT 800's picture

More solar panels should take care of it. Maybe they can wear them on their vote for Obama Beanies.

Tue, 12/11/2012 - 00:44 | 3051051 cherry picker
cherry picker's picture

Obama Beanies.

Someone should make them with nice big propellers and have a miilion man march in washigton dc with all wearing Obama beanies.

Maybe then he will get the drift.

Tue, 12/11/2012 - 00:56 | 3051070 JuicedGamma
JuicedGamma's picture

Battery exchange.  Same location as needle exchange.

Tue, 12/11/2012 - 01:05 | 3051096 syntaxterror
syntaxterror's picture

The Bloom Box is a great idea. Maybe General Obama is listening.

Tue, 12/11/2012 - 08:06 | 3051423 lakecity55
lakecity55's picture

I think they already have them, they are called Obamaflukes.  I saw one on TV.

Tue, 12/11/2012 - 00:38 | 3051018 cherry picker
cherry picker's picture

I think the government should issue matches and firewood instead.  That way if the homeless get cold they could warm themselves and maybe cook a meal.  The feds have lots of wooded parks and could be farmed and the pot smoking prisoners could use the exercise in the woods to gather the fuel for the homeless.

Then if the homeless want to communicate they could use their FEMA blankets to make smoke signals and some kid with an I-pad can donate his or her time, read the smoke signals and publish it on twitter.

We could save money, keep the homeless warm and in touch, get rid of dead wood thereby reducing forest fires, give prisoners something to do and Obama wiil be hailed as hero in chief and put a smile on his face.

The aforementioned bullshit is provided at no cost to you all :)

Tue, 12/11/2012 - 00:37 | 3051030 reader2010
reader2010's picture

Fuck it. That's the coporate foodstamps.

Tue, 12/11/2012 - 00:54 | 3051065 JuicedGamma
JuicedGamma's picture

Don't worry San Fran, the homeless will still be pissing on the street in broad daylight cell phones or not.

Tue, 12/11/2012 - 00:56 | 3051071 drivenZ
drivenZ's picture

to the folks saying this signals the end of 'merica or whatever, this program has its roots back to reagan and was available under clinton.

Tue, 12/11/2012 - 02:27 | 3051215 au_bayitch
au_bayitch's picture

And with 20+ years of data, the state could produce some statistics concerning reduced poverty, job placement, and increased hygiene in the homeless population.

Tue, 12/11/2012 - 08:57 | 3051487 nickt1y
nickt1y's picture

Sarc?

Tue, 12/11/2012 - 00:58 | 3051080 Global Hunter
Global Hunter's picture

In the grand scheme of things, phones for homeless people is a drop in the bucket

2 drones, one program cost 2.4 billion (so they say)

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/General_Atomics_MQ-1_Predator

this super duper predator reapor cost 12 billion

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/General_Atomics_MQ-9_Reaper

 

Weee lets get our knickers in a twist about the homeless.  Holy fuck hey who moved the goalposts?

 

Tue, 12/11/2012 - 09:43 | 3051560 notadouche
notadouche's picture

And every time someone says "oh this program is just a drop in the bucket"  They don't understand that enough drops in a bucket over time makes the fucking bucket overflow.  Shortsighted thinking by people that have zero fiscal discipline.  "You watch the pennies and the dollars will take care of themselves" is a saying that is lost on Washington and I suppose the younger generations.

Tue, 12/11/2012 - 01:00 | 3051086 syntaxterror
syntaxterror's picture

Unless the Frisco Obamunists hand out the iPhone 5 with a 5GB/mo data plan, the recipients will still be at a huge competitive and social disadvantage. Not having an iPhone 5 will mark you as the potential homeless in Frisco. Regardless, General Obama will be paying for the transfer one way or another through some scheme, scam, or "grant".

Tue, 12/11/2012 - 01:36 | 3051142 SAT 800
SAT 800's picture

Obama; the little Acorn nut who grew into a great tree sheltering us all.

Tue, 12/11/2012 - 01:44 | 3051152 akak
akak's picture

Unfortunately, the towering oak is rotten and hollow at the core.

 

PS: I am still trying to figure out if it is a black oak or a white oak.

Tue, 12/11/2012 - 02:13 | 3051201 Freddie
Freddie's picture

I just hope these corrupt f***s and Pelosi's Napa vineyard get their daily dusting of Fukashima Iodine 131 plus some plutonium 239 MOX.

http://www.washingtonsblog.com/2012/04/the-largest-short-term-threat-to-humanity-the-fuel-pools-of-fukushima.html

Blade Runner's version of California will be looking pretty attractive compared to where that sh*t*ole state is heading.

Tue, 12/11/2012 - 14:00 | 3052397 flattrader
flattrader's picture

You really are an idiot if you think this shit will fall only on CA or more of it will fall on CA than other places. 

Geographic proximity is only one factor.

Obviously you are not familiar with radiation rain out (or snow out as the case may be.)

There are still people dying in Europe because they got heavy rains after Chernobyl...and these counites and cantons in Western Europe were not in close proximity to the reactor.

Tue, 12/11/2012 - 02:08 | 3051189 dognamedabu
dognamedabu's picture

I can see the benefit it could provide SOME people and the abuse others would do with it.

Homeless person A: I got the job? Yaa no more Obama phone!

Homeless person B:Yo Joe!! Gotta $20 rock?

Homeless person C: Word. Meet me behind 7/11

The only one Im pissed off at is gov. Their the ones holding everyone at gun point saying gimmy your money bitch!

Tue, 12/11/2012 - 02:10 | 3051192 UGrev
UGrev's picture

I don't even know what to say anymore other than just let it all burn down around us. It's done.. there's no saving it without a ruckus. 

Tue, 12/11/2012 - 02:13 | 3051198 mumcard
mumcard's picture

Sign up for free surveillance.  Have every word recorded and every move watched!  Sign up today for your FREE phone.  TANSTAAFP

Tue, 12/11/2012 - 02:21 | 3051207 q99x2
q99x2's picture

NoWO chaosists bribe the hungry not to riot with ObamaPhones. Makes sense.

Tue, 12/11/2012 - 02:33 | 3051220 Clowns on Acid
Clowns on Acid's picture

Perhaps they should be made to work 1 day a week sweeping streets or emptying trash barrels, in order to obtain an Iphone ?

I mean show them the value of work / effort. Self respect,  if in fact that is what the program is supposed to do.

Tue, 12/11/2012 - 02:52 | 3051235 Youri Carma
Youri Carma's picture

The Lizrd king Phone :)

 

Yale scientists name Obamadon, a slender-jawed lizard, after the President
10 December 2012
, by Carolyn Y. Johnson (Boston)
http://www.boston.com/news/science/blogs/science-in-mind/2012/12/10/yale-scientists-name-obamadon-slender-jawed-lizard-after-the-president/8VELtuwNDxWjbOciIsYphM/blog.html

Tue, 12/11/2012 - 03:40 | 3051272 mumcard
mumcard's picture

Turn out the lights...

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jLAr-WlxMZY

Tue, 12/11/2012 - 04:55 | 3051317 dariomilano
dariomilano's picture

to check where they are everytime! O.O

Tue, 12/11/2012 - 06:27 | 3051357 falak pema
falak pema's picture

If you want to understand where the world is heading : Brazil Is Truly Independent - Business Insider

Some people have got THE BIG PICTURE MESSAGE : PAX AMERICANA UNRAVEL BEGINNING WITH THE MONEY LINE...

Its coming to the theatre as first world goes into deeper tail spin, of which EUrozone burn out and fiscal cliff round about may be the cracks in the Oligarchy facade.

Tue, 12/11/2012 - 21:21 | 3054082 Matt
Matt's picture

Oh, you sly dog, good job tricking me into reading another Simon Black post about how awesome a Latin American country is.

Tue, 12/11/2012 - 07:10 | 3051381 Stats_Junkie
Stats_Junkie's picture

In England, a school recently caused controversy by asking all parents to buy their child an iPad to use in lessons. And we say our education system fosters inequality...

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