• Sprott Money
    05/26/2016 - 05:58
    How many “emergency” “secret” meetings do the central planners around the world need to have before the citizens of the respective countries begin to fully understand and take notice that something...

Bernanke Press Conference - Live Webcast

Tyler Durden's picture


Having released the somewhat less exuberant economic projections (see below), the great one is about to explain the fact that his regime shift in 'rules-based'-doctrine is in fact not, as tin-foil-hat-wearing fringe blogs would suggest, a 'true' counter-cyclical policy by which investors will antithetically hope for worse economics to improve their nominal-priced 401(k)s. Over to you Ben...

  • *FED: 2012 GROWTH OF 1.7%-1.8% VS 1.7%-2.0% IN SEPTEMBER
  • *FED: 2013 GROWTH OF 2.3%-3.0% VS 2.5%-3.0% IN SEPTEMBER
  • *FED: JOBLESS END OF 2012 AT 7.8%-7.9% VS 8.0%-8.2% IN SEPT.




Full statement to follow:

Fomc Proj Tabl 20121212

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Wed, 12/12/2012 - 15:04 | 3056757 cxl9
cxl9's picture

How good is their track record with economic predictions, anyway? Oh, right ..

Wed, 12/12/2012 - 15:08 | 3056768 nope-1004
nope-1004's picture

Mr. Turrets will be heavily medicated, AGAIN.  Fuck you, Benocide, you lying POS.


Wed, 12/12/2012 - 15:10 | 3056781 TruthInSunshine
TruthInSunshine's picture

Bernanke will come out, announce the FOMC has changed its mind, and they'll announce the actual decision next month. Hilarity will ensue.

Wed, 12/12/2012 - 15:15 | 3056800 krispkritter
krispkritter's picture



" It committed to monthly purchases of $45 billion in Treasuries on top of the $40 billion per month in mortgage-backed bonds it started buying in September."

Wed, 12/12/2012 - 15:20 | 3056821 TruthInSunshine
TruthInSunshine's picture

The Fed is only expanding its current 3 trillion USD balance sheet by 1 trillion USD per year. Drama, drama.


Bernanke is looking more impotent by the day.

Wed, 12/12/2012 - 15:30 | 3056873 AlaricBalth
AlaricBalth's picture

It's only $2,739,726,027 per day. We can take Ben with us and spend at least that much on a good night at Mons Venus! I guarantee impotence will not be an issue.

Wed, 12/12/2012 - 15:35 | 3056895 Slewburger
Slewburger's picture

Since I didn't see it on the thread yet....

Fuck you Ben!


Wed, 12/12/2012 - 15:37 | 3056904 Dalago
Dalago's picture

"$85bil monthly purchases." Just rolls off the tongue, doesn't it?

Wed, 12/12/2012 - 15:40 | 3056921 crusty curmudgeon
crusty curmudgeon's picture

"One myth that’s out there is that what we’re doing is printing money. We’re not printing money."  -The Bearded Potato

Wed, 12/12/2012 - 15:49 | 3056953 CClarity
CClarity's picture

Algos quickly being rewritten to parse employment into more detailed slice and dice and to look for more and more disenfranchisement so rate lowers to < 6 1/2%

Wed, 12/12/2012 - 17:32 | 3057391 Harbanger
Harbanger's picture

The numbers are so manipulated I wouldn't be surprised if they stopped counting altogether and say unemployment is at 0% when they need to.

Wed, 12/12/2012 - 15:42 | 3056931 bagehot99
bagehot99's picture

That's the combined annual GDP of Bulgaria and Paraguay, each month. This is utterly fucking insane, and it is scaring me that nobody seems to either know it, or care.

Wed, 12/12/2012 - 16:32 | 3057143 NotApplicable
NotApplicable's picture

Honestly, just how many people do you expect to know anything about Bulgaria and Paraguay, let alone their GDP?

Wed, 12/12/2012 - 16:43 | 3057182 blunderdog
blunderdog's picture

"GDP" is just a number rich guys make up when they're asked to by political guys.

Wed, 12/12/2012 - 17:26 | 3057377 smlbizman
smlbizman's picture

fuckin ..p p p po po pork pork porkee  p p pi p ppig fells sorry for this guy......

Wed, 12/12/2012 - 15:38 | 3056908 asteroids
asteroids's picture

$40B/mo to bankers to bail them out. $45B/mo to bail out Obama. With NO end in sight. This is theft on an unimaginable scale. Congrats FED!

Wed, 12/12/2012 - 15:44 | 3056930 TruthInSunshine
TruthInSunshine's picture

Bernankestiltskin* is asking a whole lot of "whys" in a mangled response to a question and then responding "fiscal cliff...fiscal cliff..fiscal cliff..." in reply to his own question.

It's a funny shit show!

*"In order to make himself appear more important, a miller lies to a king, telling him that his daughter can spin straw into gold..."

Wed, 12/12/2012 - 17:24 | 3057366 Harbanger
Harbanger's picture

This is officially QE4 to infinity.  If this doesn't wake people to buy PM's nothing will.

Wed, 12/12/2012 - 15:29 | 3056877 Chief KnocAHoma
Chief KnocAHoma's picture

He is so impotent he needs a booster dose of viagra and cialis to find his own willie. And the balance sheet... please.... it is loaded with worthless crapola.

So who bails out the Fed? There is no lender of last resort waiting to run to the rescue, so I guess we will have to have a one world bank pop up to consolidate the ECB, BOE, FED and all those other CBs around the world.

One currency, one government, one religion, one leader. 

Wed, 12/12/2012 - 15:52 | 3056961 EscapeKey
EscapeKey's picture

One currency, one government, one religion, one dear leader.


Wed, 12/12/2012 - 17:14 | 3057312 Jake88
Jake88's picture

nice mouth

Wed, 12/12/2012 - 15:57 | 3056992 laozi
laozi's picture

Have you heard about IMF/BIS and their SDRs? That will be the new currency used to bail out the CBs.

Wed, 12/12/2012 - 15:18 | 3056830 EscapeKey
EscapeKey's picture

Meanwhile, further down the rabbithole (looks like a chose a bad day to stop sniffing glue):


WASHINGTON (MarketWatch) — The U.S. government ran a budget deficit of $172 billion in November, the Treasury Department said Wednesday, pushing the shortfall for the first two months of fiscal 2013 to $292 billion.

In November, the government spent $334 billion and took in $162 billion in revenue.

For the fiscal year to date, the deficit is up 24% compared to the first two months of fiscal 2012.

The latest monthly budget figures came as the White House and congressional Republicans are locked in intense negotiations to avoid the fiscal cliff of automatic spending cuts and tax increases set to take effect next year. Read more MarketWatch fiscal cliff coverage.

Wednesday morning, House Speaker John Boehner urged President Barack Obama to put forth a plan that cuts spending.

“His plan does not fulfill his promise to bring a balanced approach to solving this problem,” Boehner told reporters on Capitol Hill.

The White House, meanwhile, has pushed back against Boehner and emphasized it has offered cuts, including from Medicare and other programs.

White House spokesman Jay Carney said Wednesday that Obama still believes a deal is possible before the end of the year. But he said Obama will not sign a bill that does not include higher taxes on the wealthiest 2% of Americans.

Revenues were up 6% in November, compared to the same month a year ago, thanks to increased receipts of corporate taxes and individual withheld taxes and greater Federal Reserve earnings.

Spending increased by 15% in November, as outlays for agriculture, Medicare, veterans affairs and other programs increased compared to a year ago.

The government’s fiscal year runs from October to September.

Wed, 12/12/2012 - 15:24 | 3056861 Beam Me Up Scotty
Beam Me Up Scotty's picture

Reducing spending, LOL.  Compromise, LOL.  We have compromised ourselves into a 16+ Trillion dollar hole and climbing rapidly.  Spending money 2.5 x faster than it is taken in will cause these problems.  Sad thing is, even if they raise taxes, the will still spend 2.5 x faster.  They should have all gotten F's in math class.

Remember when we used to run a $172 billion dollar deficit in a YEAR??

Wed, 12/12/2012 - 15:40 | 3056917 CPL
CPL's picture



Honk Hong is screaming to everyone to move into gold NOW because of the QE4EVAOXLUVS.


well shit...look at that, sancitions.  Xmas came early.

Wed, 12/12/2012 - 15:21 | 3056838 AlaricBalth
AlaricBalth's picture

Here is a compendium of Ben Bernanke's least proficient prognostications (which are numerous). In this case, past performance is a guarantee of future results!


Wed, 12/12/2012 - 15:12 | 3056796 Bay of Pigs
Bay of Pigs's picture



Wed, 12/12/2012 - 15:21 | 3056842 tickhound
tickhound's picture

"Growth meme, growth meme...... growth meme..... credit expansion growth meme........ solution is more credit expansion..... solution is more growth................................... modify growth meme, modify credit exapnsion.............future........ over tiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiime"

Thank you.



Wed, 12/12/2012 - 16:00 | 3057007 VisualCSharp
VisualCSharp's picture

Fucking brilliant. +$16T

Wed, 12/12/2012 - 15:18 | 3056831 vast-dom
vast-dom's picture

Half the growth and double the unemployment, if you care for reality. Or you can listen to Bernanke's pathological lies.

Wed, 12/12/2012 - 15:25 | 3056863 Poor Grogman
Poor Grogman's picture

How can a central banker sleep at night knowing that he is impoverishing millions and enslaving the masses each time they go to work?

Just proves that some sub-humans who walk among us, can rationalize just about anything...

Wed, 12/12/2012 - 15:31 | 3056883 Spastica Rex
Spastica Rex's picture

My guess is they know quite well that there are a limited number of life boats and, from their perspective, they're just trying to put the right people in them. They're also trying to keep everyone else from panicking.

When the ship goes down, somebody has to be left floating in the cold water. Sucks to be them (me).

Wed, 12/12/2012 - 16:53 | 3057218 Poor Grogman
Poor Grogman's picture


Wed, 12/12/2012 - 15:14 | 3056809 Stoploss
Stoploss's picture

If some body is close by- will you PLEASE knock the shit out of Jeff Saut!!!

Wed, 12/12/2012 - 15:17 | 3056819 ZippyBananaPants
ZippyBananaPants's picture

Quiverr bitchesss


Wed, 12/12/2012 - 15:24 | 3056860 khakuda
khakuda's picture

We would have lost our jobs years ago with their record.

Wed, 12/12/2012 - 15:26 | 3056871 Ookspay
Ookspay's picture

95% inflation in 80 years, not a good track record at all. I have a dream, to one day see that little cocksucker bernanke sent to prison where he is repeatedly gang raped and beaten. To steal from one person is bad enough, but to financially decimate an entire nation and possibly the world with lies, greed and deception has to have a unique and most cruel penalty!

Wed, 12/12/2012 - 15:38 | 3056906 Chief KnocAHoma
Chief KnocAHoma's picture

I would agree, except I think he would enjoy the gang raping. A better punishment might be to make him poor by giving him an unlimited supply of monopoly money on which to live. 

He is, after all, doing the same to us.

Wed, 12/12/2012 - 15:40 | 3056919 SheepDog-One
SheepDog-One's picture

Just shave off a little .01% here or there and suddenly all is well. 

Yea whatever.

Wed, 12/12/2012 - 15:08 | 3056775 swissaustrian
swissaustrian's picture

I wondered why gold didn't.

Wed, 12/12/2012 - 15:12 | 3056793 Long-John-Silver
Long-John-Silver's picture

Gold is still a barbaric metal. Silver is required for the latest in electronic toys.

Wed, 12/12/2012 - 15:17 | 3056825 fuu
fuu's picture

Cruise missiles and drones?

Wed, 12/12/2012 - 15:29 | 3056876 TruthInSunshine
TruthInSunshine's picture


I don't care either way, but just don't want Krugman to get offended.

Wed, 12/12/2012 - 15:07 | 3056767 spartan117
spartan117's picture

Nov deficit $172 billion.  Wow, is that a record?

Wed, 12/12/2012 - 15:32 | 3056881 SheepDog-One
SheepDog-One's picture

Hey it's ALL good....just as long as we can keep shoveling around 1/4 $trillion/month onto generations down the road X25 by now.

Wed, 12/12/2012 - 15:41 | 3056925 CPL
CPL's picture

For this month?


Yes it is!  HA HA!  Biznezzzz!

Wed, 12/12/2012 - 15:07 | 3056769 swissaustrian
swissaustrian's picture

All you need to know:

Unemployment projected to stay above 6.5% until mid 2015.

Wed, 12/12/2012 - 15:10 | 3056784 Long-John-Silver
Long-John-Silver's picture

Unemployment will be reported as 6.5% or higher because it's a made-up number anyway.

Wed, 12/12/2012 - 15:16 | 3056815 cougar_w
cougar_w's picture

And that will happen just in time for the 2016 election cycle. The Democrats are going to flog that nag as hard as they can. It won't do them any good. But they are certainly going to try.

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