Mayan Apocalypse Technical Analysis

Tyler Durden's picture

If the Mayans are correct, the world has just over a week before it goes poof. But, the hard-core chartists will say, is there any technical analysis suggestion they may be right? Let's take a look: the chart below shows all the 450 MunichRe-documented natural disasters that have taken place in the first half of the year, running at at annualized pace of a near record-setting 900 in 2012 alone. Is this enough to set off the most terminal selling event in the history of the world in 8 short days? You decide.

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French Frog's picture

I think that the Mayans' "end-of-the-world" theory was sneakily given huge exposure by theBernank to lure the bears into yet another false sense of security that "surely this time we just can't have another Santa-Claus rally".

And yet we had it again in 2012. Someone once said "wash rince & repeat..."

Dalago's picture

This Earth stuff is interesting, no doubt.  But we should really be looking at the SUN'S ACTIVITY!!!!

john39's picture

most have badly misinterpreted what the Mayans predicted.  They were master astronomers, with a deep understanding of long term movements in galaxy...   they predicted a period of great upheaval...  this vid  does a good job of summarizing the electromagnetic changes occuring in the solor system in recent years, most likely what the Mayans had predicted:

with one other twist...  a recently uncovered monument also suggested something of a supernatural twist....  regarding the possibility of a god, or competing "gods" being reborn around December 21, 2012

dark pools of soros's picture

Will these gods have their own immortality show?

old naughty's picture

If they have, it would just be like you and/or me; since we are 'created' equal.

But then, didn't they do human sacrifices, cut their throats and then kicked their bodies down the steps?


notbot's picture

I think a good prank on 12/21/12 would be if Gene Munster downgraded AAPL to "Sell"

Spirit Of Truth's picture

I certainly hope and pray the Mayans were wrong, but I will say, as I've been recently been vlogging about, the long-term Elliott Wave pattern and crisis in Syria are conducive to an apocalyptic war in the immediate future.

Here are my reports:

TuPhat's picture

If I remember what I have read about that calendar, the calendar ends.  It has no predictions on it at all.  Our calendars are printed so it's easy to keep making another one.  Not so easy to chisel stone.  If Bernank had to chisel money out of stone there would be much less of it and the world wouldn't end if he stopped chiseling.

LFMayor's picture

most have misinterpreted...

Naturally, you decoded it correctly, right?  Or your you tube link explains the truth?

And I leave you with this, the last "god" named Cortez that they managed to not predict kicked their whole fucking civilization in the ass and that's why we have archaeologists interpreting this shit graphetti of theirs, instead of their ambassador to the UN doing it live.

boogerbently's picture

The "end of the world" is the "end of the world" !

What good is sitting on a lot of money? However,

If it ISN'T the END OF THE WORLD, your investment strategy should reflect THAT.

Matt's picture

So much inaccuracy there. The Mayan civilization collapsed (90% population loss) between 900 and 1200 AD, i.e. 300+ years before Cortez. That is when they lost the educated class of elites (i.e. they "hung the bankers" and went back to anarcho-primitivism).

The Mexico City Aztecs were having a ritualistic holocaust of the surrounding city-states. Since A) Cortez fulfilled the prophecy of the return of a god by coincidentally arriving at the exact right date and b) the people were sick of being enslaved to people that enjoyed ritualistic human sacrifice of other people's children, they joined Cortez in toppling the empire.

As far as I know, the Mayan Elders that are alive today have their knowledge passed down via aural tradition, i.e. they have been playing "telephone" for the last 800 years. The Mayan writings were deciphered by a Russian Soldier who saved a copy of a rare book containing their writings from a burning library in Berlin during the Soviet advance. 

vato poco's picture

My only problem with the "Mayans were master astronomers, with a deep understanding of long-term movements in the galaxy (!)" theory - and it's a really cool theory, much better than the tired old 'Rothschilds control the entire world' jive - the 'master astronomer/deep understanding' theory would by definition mean the Mayans weren't just regular ordinary guys. No, to rack up that kind of knowledge and insight, they'd have had to be a race of Will Huntings: Super-Geniuses of the Jungle.

Yet they still somehow managed to fail to "predict" the drought/war/peasanr uprising/whatever the hell it was that destroyed their civilization.

It's the same problem the "UFO crashed at Roswell!" crew have to contend with. On the one hand, you're telling us they're highly-intelligent beings capable of interstellar travel - which means faster-than-light speed - who have tractor beams, and thought rays, and anal probes that we can only *dream* of. OTOH, the story is once they got here, they......had a flat tire? Blew a radiator hose? Hit a bad pothole and crashed?? Srsly? 

flattrader's picture

>>>the 'master astronomer/deep understanding' theory would by definition mean the Mayans weren't just regular ordinary guys. No, to rack up that kind of knowledge and insight, they'd have had to be a race of Will Huntings: Super-Geniuses of the Jungle.<<<

Naw, I don't think so.  They had lots of time on their hands.  The night sky was the best show in town and vastly clearer and deeper than what we can see now.

They had good powers of observation and not much else on which to focus.

>>>Yet they still somehow managed to fail to "predict" the drought/war/peasanr uprising/whatever the hell it was that destroyed their civilization.<<<

Observing and predicting stellar movements is one thing...predicting drought is quite another.

Our own modern day "weathermen" get it wrong and they have sophisticated equipment.

Flakmeister's picture

Its amazing how people


1) under estimate human ingenuity and intelligence;

while simultaneously

2) Ascribe "super natural" abilities to people with skills that are beyond their grasp... 

It has be some variation of the D-K effect;

Matt's picture

Imagine if 20% of GDP and 5% of our population was dedicated to astronomy. For several hundred years. 

If you want to get into the more fringe ideas, there is evidence (some actual skulls, will have to look for sources) that show that mesoamerican elites understood that the human brain was the key, and that having your skull fuse together is what limits your intelligence. Solution? strap boards onto babies' heads to make their brains grow longer, prevent fusing, so the brain can become larger. They could have been manufacturing a whole sub-class of Stephen Hawkings.

Predicting a massive drought, and coming up with an actionable solution, are two different things. Same with population control. You can dish out as much propaganda as you want, but when it comes down to it, having a minority 5% of the population be able to go door to door and sterilize people or abort their babies is much harder than it seems on paper.

Back to the fringe, there is some suggestion that they did exactly that; the Mayan Elites may have predicted the drought and famine, and bugged out to Peru. The Incans may have been the descendants of the Mayan Elites, and took their knowledge with them, leaving the poor uneducated masses behind to fend for themselves.

Flakmeister's picture

Hey FT,

Great story re: the Russian. He certainly contributed but he did not decode it.... A 13-yo kid whose parents were archeologists was instrumental in the final decoding...

Check out the PBS/Nova on Cracking the Mayan Code...  

dark pools of soros's picture

I caught that on Netflix (bullish plug). And that chick was the real driving force to start it all

Flakmeister's picture

IIRC, the kid went on to win a MacArthur....

Ar-Pharazôn's picture

unicorn gods shitting skittles

boogerbently's picture

This map would imply a relative "safety zone" above Lat 50 degrees N.

Why would Canada, Russia and Greenland be immune from these events?

ShorTed's picture

Has anyone noticed a wave of IRA or 401k liquidations for end-of-the-world conspicuous consumption?

Perhaps for some PM purchases...otherwise nothing to see here.

fonzannoon's picture

No, I have not noticed that. Please point us to where you are noticing that.

smlbizman's picture

fonz, could part of it be showing up on ebay, were bids are plentiful and the 40.00 oz is very consistent?...


and if i may add a newcomer to the fuck you list...this would be another glorified welfare queen....elan musk....

give me unlimited money with no regard of paying it back and i too could invent something the world will never use....

so without further ado.....fuck you elan musk...

ShorTed's picture

Sorry, forgot the:   /sarc

smlbizman's picture

shorted, i am hoping iras and such are being cashed in or out..(and ever since i liquidated and payed the penalties i sleep better) if so, i would think pm purchases will be a part of this for some...i ignored the end of the world your comment was at best..."new and improved with 40% less sarc"...


and if anyone is considering this move and yes it takes some time to consider, will never regret it...i also think if you dont do it this year '12 you will have regrets....take a portion and see how that feels...than come back for the rest....

how about up votes for cashing out

down votes for staying in the current retirement system

Lin S's picture

After being so advised by some of the sages here on ZH, I cashed out 32% of my IRA and converted 1/2 to PMs and paid off my HELOC with the other 1/2.  I do feel good about it.

About the remaining 68% of my IRA, I am not sure what to do.  I didn't want to put everything into PMs and have all of the proverbial eggs in one basket, but I couldn't just leave the IRA remain as it was for the same reason (plus the Cliff, new taxes, Obummer, etc.).

I'm leery of cashing any more out than the 32% I've taken already, as the IRA was inherited and I can't add anything back to it.  Then again, I could always start a new one, too, and hold some more cash back.

December is passing, and my time is running out.  What should I do?

Thanks for any advice...




smlbizman's picture

lin s, they have taken the menu of  choices (by design) away from the regular a person that has never minded a risk/reward atmosphere, i currently own. (own meaning no debt, but the state will always have their hand in my real estate pocket) rental property, residential property and pms.  at this time.  looking down the road i dont feel anywhere secure in owning real estate our  baltimore county exec. has decided to borrow money from the usual, to fix the pension fund (that should work) and selling prime properties to put a/c in schools....between the gauranteed further decline in pricing along with real estate taxes,  were they will come looking to fix their problems, no thanks....we are currently making plans to sell our residential property converting most of the proceeds to more pms and cash....than moving to the most accommidating state than rent. ....i take no pleasure in this, but it must be i guess my advice is obvious...take the last 68% and put it under your control with pms....than when and if this storm passes and the game becomes more legitimate, you can re-adjust your thinking to match the financial enviroment.....good luck 

grid-b-gone's picture

MF Global was the tipping point for me, the shot over the bow that personal accounts may no longer be subject to the rule of law.

I liquidated some accounts and paid off debt to the point that my total debt is now only 4% of net worth.

I hold title to my house and vehicles. I'm especially glad to be rid of non-dischargeable student loans.

The next step is building up PM and cash reserves to be able to maintain everything for an extended period of time.

Remember, new rules were put in place after the 2008 meltdown that limits account holders' rights to access money. These comments above are just a prudent response to the shift in power from individuals to financial institutions.

I still have a good chunk of assets in accounts. Let's not get too crazy and swing the pendulum too far the other way. Just be cautious, prepared, and conservative in response to the risk, leverage, and recklessness we see today at the institutional level.

Fiduciary responsibility has been driven down to the individual. Act accordingly.

CPL's picture

For those that wish to see if your piece of the world is falling into the ocean.


Google earth plugin required and you can track it all live.

unrulian's picture

 Followed by millions of dumbfounded dipshits.

Some say the end is near.

Some say we'll see armageddon soon.

GMadScientist's picture

I certainly hope we will...


Aziz's picture

I could sure use a vacation from this bullshit three ring circus sideshow...

CPL's picture

Change is a constant, it's the scale of change that concerns people.


If it happens, there was nothing to be done about it.

If nothing happens, then we'll have to listen to the news talk about it.


Meh, side show distraction.

Diogenes's picture

" Followed by millions of dumbfounded dipshits.

Some say the end is near.

Some say we'll see armageddon soon."

Armageddon addahere

nofluer's picture

The last time I saw the end being near she turned around and slapped me!

insanelysane's picture

The Mayans didn't have cans so they never understood the concept of kicking the can.

LFMayor's picture

they used human heads instead.

Matt's picture

They didn't have a fiat crisis, they had a prolonged severe drought crisis. It is much harder to create fresh water from nothing (or even from salt water), then to issue bonds and print money.

TruthHunter's picture

":Remain Calm."?

yes and no  The world can't end because no one is ready for the Judgment Day.

Dr. Richard Head's picture

I will be in Oahu praying for tidal waves and wanting to see the ground give way.  I wanna watch it all go down.  Mom please flush it all away.

Eddy Vluggen's picture

What has the world done to you that you want to punish it that severely?

The Master's picture

Sounds like a case of Bernankitis

GMadScientist's picture

How would ridding her of these stupid accident-prone, self-absorbed monkeybots be a punishment?

tetsujin's picture

Tha rotten sore on tha face of mother earth gets bigger / Tha triggers cold empty ya purse

BlueCollaredOne's picture

Such a good song that for some reason isnt in my library.  Thanks for the reminder.