Friday (Much Needed) Humor: John McAfee Interview

Tyler Durden's picture


On a less than joyous day such as this, we all need a little cheering up. So here is John McAfee. Why? Just watch it.

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Sat, 12/15/2012 - 15:08 | 3066777 ActionFive
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In Belize, you walk out of court a free man, or out back a dead man.

Sat, 12/15/2012 - 18:14 | 3066989 gwiss
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It is amazing to me how the media has jumped on this story.  Now granted, he is probably a little nuts.  In the normal architecture of the brain, common pathways have signals that are so large and powerful that our center of consciousness can only listen to them, and weed disrupts this hierarchy, and thus weed allows the center of consciousness to focus on signals that are much more faint.  That's why people who are high can think very deeply about specific topics and are able to think about things in new ways, but can't think about many topics at once, and also why weed allows a level of empathy not attainable under normal neurologic function, and also why specific low level neurologic signals seem to be amplified when an individual is high, such as hearing and hunger and taste.  It's why people who are high can solve problems in unexpected ways, because they essentially are able to escape the paradigm which their existing neuronal architecture has provided for them.  But, there is a downside, which is that weed allows the creation of an alternate neuronal architecture, and the more time that people spend high, the more this alternate architecture also becomes solidified and thus emits louder and louder signals.  This becomes confusing over time, as the drug user now has two competing neuronal architectures even when not high, which is why weed makes schizophrenics much worse and why delusions and psychosis are sometimes a final pathway for veteran marijauna smokers.  So unfortunately, it is problematic when the story is coming from someone who is likely chronically challenged with endless difficulty in differentiating between delusion and perception.


That being said, however, let's step back and think about this.  The authorities themselves admit that McAfee has "donated" a lot over the last few years.  Per the San Pedro newspaper, he has donated "several times to the Ministry of National Security. In 2009 McAfee made a donation of a vessel worth over $1 million to the Belize National Coast Guard. He has also donated to local police departments on different instances. In 2008 McAfee donated two All Terrain Vehicles (ATV’s) totaling $40,000 in value to the San Pedro Police Department. In addition, more recently in 2011, he donated a number of equipment to the SP Police valued at over $3,500."


Now seriously.  Do you really think a guy with less than $5 million dollars left would be "donating" this stuff willingly?  Or does this actually sound more like serial shakedowns?  You have guys who enter his premises and admit that they shot several of his dogs, came with approximately 40 soldiers, spent 14 hours searching, and at the end of this the best they can do is one unlicensed handgun and no security licenses for the security guards?  Who the fuck cares about licenses for a handgun and security guards?  What business is this of the State anyway?  You want to pay someone to watch your ass, whose business is it but yours if they are trained or not?  And this all happened BEFORE the murder.


Here's what happened.  McAfee is a renegade, who realizes that society is just collectively sick in the head, and he figures he will screw them first since they are bound to screw him eventually anyway.  He recognizes that the concept of the State is complete and utter bullshit, but also recognizes that humans will always persist in creating one because they are on average not intelligent or aware enough to recognize that the State is just another way to get manipulated by others, and he can't control the rest of society or make them stop creating machines to repress themselves.  So he does what he wants without really thinking about the long term consequences, whether it is talking up a non-existent computer virus in order to pad the sale of his company, or running a clandestine antibiotic lab, and he does so with minimal attempts to follow the rule of law because he understands the rule of law is 99% of the time nonsense.  Thus, he is untrustworthy in that we can never be sure what his motives are, and we can never be sure whether he is on our side or just his side.  Unfortunately, just like the boy who cried wolf, this is a situation in which he is probably getting screwed, and I'm sure the government of Belize is in the process of appropriating the rest of his property.  It's a case of two untrustworthy entities going up against each other, and what is sad to me is that everyone is jumping on McAffee without ever bothering to consider that it is quite probable that the government of Belize has been shaking Americans down for years.

Sun, 12/16/2012 - 00:45 | 3067992 pods
pods's picture

Wow, gwiss, that is one hell of a post.

Kudos and keep them coming!  


Fri, 12/14/2012 - 21:51 | 3065341 gallistic
gallistic's picture

The King(Queen?) Cougar has spoken!

Hear ye now! The King(Queen?) has, by personal, thorough, and incontrovertible knowledge, declared this John McAfee as a person infected with the "IHaz2MuchMuneez virus" and is hereby considered persona non grata within the realm. Furthermore, the King(Queen?) orders that this McAfee individual must be brought to financial ruin by all means available to the state and Kingdom's citizens. The courts and mass media are charged to carry out the ruin of said individual, since in the infallible judment of the King(Queen?):

"Once the courts are done with him I bet he's fixed up in no time."

God save the Queen!

Fri, 12/14/2012 - 18:55 | 3064849 HedgeAccordingly
HedgeAccordingly's picture

lolz. this guy looks exhausted...

almost as tired as Roubini in this clip  http://

Fri, 12/14/2012 - 21:32 | 3065350 CPL
CPL's picture

Christ, you could smell the whiskey off the screen.


What a mess.

Fri, 12/14/2012 - 22:58 | 3065547 Squid Vicious
Squid Vicious's picture

at least he has his prison pussy nice and bushy...

Fri, 12/14/2012 - 19:00 | 3064857 Agent P
Agent P's picture

I couldn't figure out at first what he kept chewing on, but then I realized what it was...guilt.

Fri, 12/14/2012 - 19:19 | 3064921 cougar_w
cougar_w's picture

Guilt? That's a reach. Guys like this (and there are a ba-jillion others like him still functional in the Fortune-500) are so wrapped up in their own egos that it takes 3 weeks of therapy and coaching before they can be convinced to send a Mothers' Day card.

Fri, 12/14/2012 - 21:59 | 3065281 gallistic
gallistic's picture

King(Queen?) Cougar has spoken!

The King(Queen?) PERSONALLY knows "Ba-jillion" people in the Fortune 500 and can give true and faithful testimony as to their natures.

Furthermore, he orders these "Ba-jillion" individuals to undergo "3 weeks of therapy and coaching". Upon completion of the regimen said individuals must send their mothers a card.


God save the Queen!

Fri, 12/14/2012 - 22:52 | 3065531 clymer
clymer's picture

Agent P you'd make one hell of a juror. Way to keep an open mind.

(you're no better than the frustratingly brain-dead animated robots that interviewed him)

Fri, 12/14/2012 - 19:58 | 3065055 spinone
spinone's picture

Thats what someone on cocaine looks like.  Cocaine is a powerful drug.

Sat, 12/15/2012 - 00:51 | 3065720 AgShaman
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Thanks for was funny

Fri, 12/14/2012 - 19:00 | 3064859 hannah
hannah's picture

NOTHING this guy says means anything once i got to the part of his sticking bath salts up his ass....nothing. end of story. the guy is a loon.

Fri, 12/14/2012 - 20:39 | 3065164 Looney
Looney's picture

the guy is a loon.

Hey, I am a "loon" too (just look at my sign-off)  ;-)

Does it make me guilty of anything? Keep sipping the Kool-Aid, just make sure it's UNDER 16 oz., 'cause you might get arrested and your children extradited to China to be assembling iGadgets... ;-)



Fri, 12/14/2012 - 22:54 | 3065541 clymer
clymer's picture

Hannah is angry that he hasn't quite figured out how to upload a graphic that might accentuate his monikor


Fri, 12/14/2012 - 23:07 | 3065566 A Lunatic
A Lunatic's picture

How about a man sticking bath salts up his ass??

Fri, 12/14/2012 - 23:37 | 3065618 pods
pods's picture

His ass?  I got no problems with that.

My ass?  Yeah, problems.

As a sidebar, taking drugs rectally can avoid first-pass metabolism for a lot of drugs.

I have heard that Europe is less sensitive to suppository delivered drugs.

idk, I would have to some 70's boom-chicka-wah-wah porno music to entertain that notion.


Fri, 12/14/2012 - 19:06 | 3064872 AssFire
AssFire's picture

Wow, The American dream.

He and Charlie Sheen have set a very high standard.

Fri, 12/14/2012 - 21:32 | 3065358 CPL
CPL's picture

Haven't they all.

Fri, 12/14/2012 - 19:10 | 3064888 Long-John-Silver
Long-John-Silver's picture

This is what happens when you create virus programs and sell software to "protect" Windoze computers from those virus programs.

Fri, 12/14/2012 - 19:12 | 3064892 Monedas
Monedas's picture

McAfee wanted for questioning in Newtown, CT .... he is not a suspect !        LOL

Fri, 12/14/2012 - 19:16 | 3064895 Lost Wages
Lost Wages's picture

Bath Salts are a hell of a drug. And McAfee is a bad antivirus program... my parents had it on their computer, which meant I had to drive over and fix it all the time, until I uninstalled McAfee and replaced it with Norton.

Fri, 12/14/2012 - 19:30 | 3064968 toady
toady's picture

I have an old laptop with McAfee on it that I cannot remove. That's why it's an old laptop that never gets used.

Fri, 12/14/2012 - 19:38 | 3064990 TuPhat
TuPhat's picture

Years ago I had Norton and had lots of problems until I found out all the viruses got downloaded by the Norton program and then they infected my computer.  Now I have neither and I'm much better off.

Fri, 12/14/2012 - 19:58 | 3065052 blindman
blindman's picture

avast. period

Fri, 12/14/2012 - 22:55 | 3065546 pods
pods's picture

Yikes, replacing McAfee with Norton is like removing a splinter with a chainsaw.

Norton used to be a decent product, then they were bought and it became a virus program.

I do not have fond memories of trying to remove every last cancerous Norton cell from my registry.


Sat, 12/15/2012 - 21:22 | 3067608 StychoKiller
StychoKiller's picture

Hmm, Trying to correct deficiencies in Windoze OS(s) with other deficient programs.  Seems like yer problem is using Microsoft products...

Fri, 12/14/2012 - 19:15 | 3064902 cougar_w
cougar_w's picture

The poster child for American industrial might at the end of the empire.

Sickening, really, what we have been reduced to.

Fri, 12/14/2012 - 19:29 | 3064962 Lin S
Lin S's picture

+ 1

Agree completely, 100%.


Fri, 12/14/2012 - 21:44 | 3065385 gallistic
gallistic's picture

King(Queen?) Cougar has spoken!

This McAfee individual is hereby declared as "sickening", "poster child of American industrial might" and an example of "what we have been reduced to".

All loyal subjects are ordered to attend the "two minutes of hate" tonight at 2100 hours.

God save the Queen!

Sat, 12/15/2012 - 21:23 | 3067612 StychoKiller
StychoKiller's picture

One shouldn't look for fish in the treetops.

Fri, 12/14/2012 - 22:53 | 3065539 Curtis LeMay
Curtis LeMay's picture

U high or something?

"American industrial might at the end of the empire."

One, as a people, we don't do empires. 

Two, bozo, what's the OS your PC is helping you post? 

It's either Windows, Apple or a flavor of Unix...

Should I continue? 

Fri, 12/14/2012 - 23:39 | 3065626 pods
pods's picture

Oh we sure as hell do empires.  Just not in the classic sense.

Instead of raping and pillaging conquered nations, we merely force them to take our debt for trade.


Fri, 12/14/2012 - 19:16 | 3064906 Monedas
Monedas's picture

OSHA to close down San Francisco cable cars !  No seat belts, no air bags, no helmets required, no bullet proof glass, cable grease and metal splinters getting into aquifer, no handi-cap access !   Export liberalism !

Fri, 12/14/2012 - 19:21 | 3064929 cougar_w
cougar_w's picture

Google says "not that I am aware".


Fri, 12/14/2012 - 19:22 | 3064936 blunderdog
blunderdog's picture

Dude!  You just tried to take a Monedas post SERIOUSLY!


Fri, 12/14/2012 - 19:26 | 3064958 cougar_w
cougar_w's picture

I don't like pollution of the information space with fake news. On a day like this one I'm going to hold people to a higher standard of truth.

That's just how it is.

Fri, 12/14/2012 - 19:41 | 3065000 TuPhat
TuPhat's picture

Monedas obviously doesn't know what OSHA actually does or he could make the post more believable.  Most of his posts are off the mark.

Fri, 12/14/2012 - 20:06 | 3065076 nmewn
nmewn's picture

"On a day like this one I'm going to hold people to a higher standard of truth."

On a day like what?

Fri, 12/14/2012 - 22:57 | 3065548 Matt
Matt's picture

I think that is refering to the mass murder at an elementary school. 

Sat, 12/15/2012 - 00:10 | 3065669 nmewn
nmewn's picture

Yes indeed, Cougar was. I was just hanging the bait a little too high ;-)

I'm not trying to down play it (maybe a tad with the bait, sinking to that level will always get mud on me) BUT an average week in Chicago yields the same death toll, where guns are effectively banned. The death toll is all I heard about ALL DAY...not the how or why and when the who came in to the story line...that was wrong, it was his brother.

Cougar's rant (basically) on the 1,000+ comment thread was it was "the gun(s)" not the individual.

Which is, as stupid as saying, if we just outlawed murder or theft no one would ever be killed or stolen from.

Fri, 12/14/2012 - 20:49 | 3065210 blunderdog
blunderdog's picture

It's the Internet.  The signal to noise ratio approaches zero the longer you hang out here.  Isn't this digital living something else?

Fri, 12/14/2012 - 22:11 | 3065295 gallistic
gallistic's picture

The King(Queen?) Cougar has spoken!

From this day forth, the common people will be held to a "higher standard of truth". This edict does not apply to any mendaciousness by his(her?) majesty, who is hereby exempted from this "higher standard of truth".

In the words of his(her?) majesty- "that's just how it is"

God save the Queen!

Fri, 12/14/2012 - 19:30 | 3064965 Monedas
Monedas's picture

Sometimes I make shit up and use gratuitous racial slurs just to get attention .... if you don't like it .... get me a research staff .... don't pay your taxes .... if they need money .... they can print it !

Fri, 12/14/2012 - 19:51 | 3065027 cougar_w
cougar_w's picture

You are not important. Go away.

Fri, 12/14/2012 - 20:52 | 3065211 gallistic
gallistic's picture

The King (or is it Queen?) has spoken!

Hail King(Queen?) Cougar!

Your arrogant, silly ass is not important either. Do you have any personal knowlege of this or is it all what has been spoon fed to you?

I propose you go away.

Fri, 12/14/2012 - 21:31 | 3065348 gallistic
gallistic's picture

Oh Yeah, I forgot...


Gos save the Queen!

Fri, 12/14/2012 - 19:17 | 3064913 rsi1
rsi1's picture

CNBC new low

Fri, 12/14/2012 - 20:06 | 3065074 NotApplicable
NotApplicable's picture

Absolute fucking scumbags. I cannot imagine how these "men" considered those questions to be reasonable.

(though I'd love to see them dare to ask them to someone like Warren Buffet)

Mark Haines is lucky to no longer have to be a part of that tabloid channel.

Do NOT follow this link or you will be banned from the site!