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Friday (Much Needed) Humor: John McAfee Interview

Tyler Durden's picture


On a less than joyous day such as this, we all need a little cheering up. So here is John McAfee. Why? Just watch it.

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Fri, 12/14/2012 - 20:44 | 3065190 Yes We Can. But...
Yes We Can. But Lets Not.'s picture

Yeah, but that ain't my definition of 'lucky'.

Fri, 12/14/2012 - 19:17 | 3064917 kaiserhoff
kaiserhoff's picture

This is your brain on drugs.

Fri, 12/28/2012 - 02:55 | 3101038 Ctrl_P
Ctrl_P's picture

Those CNBC guys really need a detox. And therapy!!

Fri, 12/14/2012 - 19:18 | 3064920 news printer
news printer's picture

We petition the Obama administration to:

Secure resources and funding, and begin construction of a Death Star by 2016. :)))


Fri, 12/14/2012 - 19:20 | 3064926 Bollixed
Bollixed's picture

Is it any wonder why the folks who listen to those clowns at CNBC are broke...

Fri, 12/14/2012 - 20:07 | 3065078 NotApplicable
NotApplicable's picture

I loved it when Dorkin made mention of their viewers. He must be referring to the producers in the control room.

Fri, 12/14/2012 - 19:24 | 3064934 Monedas
Monedas's picture

Piers Morgan interviewed Charlie Sheen .... successful interview .... synergy .... they made each other look good !

Fri, 12/14/2012 - 19:23 | 3064941 blunderdog
blunderdog's picture

John's holding up very well considering today's tragedery.

Fri, 12/14/2012 - 19:24 | 3064947 They Tried to S...
They Tried to Steal My Gold's picture

We now know who was the Burger King Mascot....

Fri, 12/14/2012 - 23:53 | 3065196 Yes We Can. But...
Yes We Can. But Lets Not.'s picture

Banzai, can you make that happen?  Thanks in advance.


And Limerick King would chip in like this:


If CNBC comes calling I'll pass

I'd turn around and step on the gas

But the Virus King, he handled them swell

He swam with those sharks quite well

Considering he had a load of bath salts up his ass

Fri, 12/14/2012 - 19:25 | 3064948 Cognitive Dissonance
Cognitive Dissonance's picture

It appears John McAfee is just as buggy as his software.

<Time to upgrade to John McAfee 2.0>

Fri, 12/14/2012 - 19:26 | 3064955 babylon15
babylon15's picture

"Making money is easy.  It is.  The difficult thing in life is not making it, it's keeping it.  Any idiot can make money.  Keeping money, very few can do." - John McAffee

Worth it for that one quote.

Also, anyone notice he contradicted himself about the dogs?  The first time he mentions the dogs being shot, he says the Belizian police shot them.  The second time he mentions it, he says the Belizian police poisoned the dogs and they were in agony so he shot the dogs himself along with his own security guards.

Fri, 12/14/2012 - 19:35 | 3064983 piceridu
piceridu's picture

No, he say they shot his "dog" (singular) in front of him...I think he said he had 10 dogs...he said he had to shoot his other dogs that were poisoned...IDK, the guys seems pretty lucid to me...

Fri, 12/14/2012 - 20:09 | 3065085 NotApplicable
NotApplicable's picture

My guess is that someone is trying to make an example of an ex-pat who is obviously not in the club.

If you're a self-made millionaire, you either suck up to the club, or they come looking to take you out.

Fri, 12/14/2012 - 20:18 | 3065108 knukles
knukles's picture


pass the bath salts and Jello

Fri, 12/14/2012 - 21:23 | 3065328 Looney
Looney's picture

Keep the Jello, Knukles, but pass what's left of the b-b-bath salts! Please? ;-)


Sat, 12/15/2012 - 00:01 | 3065648 socalbeach
socalbeach's picture


Fri, 12/14/2012 - 23:01 | 3065556 Matt
Matt's picture

Seperate events.

The dog shooting by police was when they raided his place back in April when they suspected him of manufacturing crystal meth.

He put down 4 of his dogs because they were puking and shitting blood everywhere ... is it two months ago now? I can't even keep track of how long this zany story has been dragging on.

Fri, 12/14/2012 - 19:26 | 3064956 q99x2
q99x2's picture

Good thing he doesn't drink. You need a clear head to get through what he is going through. I missed the funny part. He seemed very honest except I think he shot the guns more than he admitted.

Fri, 12/14/2012 - 20:28 | 3065147 one-in-nine
one-in-nine's picture

I too missed the humor ... but then I do drink ... especially on a Friday when the FED has announced QE4 but the metals are down instead of way up.  No humor there either. 

Fri, 12/14/2012 - 19:31 | 3064967 El
El's picture

McAfee should have told them it was none of their business how much money he has or where it is located. Those folks are obnoxious.

Fri, 12/14/2012 - 19:32 | 3064973 Mi Naem
Mi Naem's picture

Looks to me like this guy's getting screwed, in public, to the rooting and hooting of a bunch of mob-minded nihilistic assholes. 

Nothing funny about that.  It's just pitiful. 

Fri, 12/14/2012 - 23:06 | 3065567 Matt
Matt's picture

You are absolutely right. How dare people force him to do interviews on the phone and TV, and write blog posts about his antics?! Absolutely disgusting how they victimize him! 

He has been getting people to interview him for, what, two years now? While also writing a blog and posting all kinds of silliness on other blogs to draw attention to himself? And each time, his stories contradict the previous version, and contain outrageous stuff. And then next time he is like "ha ha that was a joke!". Which would be more humorous if these shenanigans were not in the middle of a murder investigation.


Fri, 12/14/2012 - 19:33 | 3064976 SolidSnake961
SolidSnake961's picture

this is so damn funny, how did cnbc keep a stright face asking him those questions??

Fri, 12/14/2012 - 20:12 | 3065096 NotApplicable
NotApplicable's picture

Because otherwise they'd look like the loser tools that they are. You seem to be forgetting they are a supposedly a financial network, not TMZ.

Fri, 12/14/2012 - 19:33 | 3064977 magpie
magpie's picture

Very archetypical

Fri, 12/14/2012 - 19:35 | 3064979 nmewn
nmewn's picture

So I guess the key here is, become independently wealthy, relocate to a country in close proximity to another country that doesn't have an extradition treaty with that country, so that if you go off your prozac and kill someone you can step across the border and be extraditied back to the nation where you aquired your wealth.

Where you still retain duel citizenship with a completely different country...just in case.

I think I got it now, be mobile, flexible & liquid ;-)

Fri, 12/14/2012 - 19:52 | 3065035 Cognitive Dissonance
Cognitive Dissonance's picture

Or just stay on your Prozac. ;)

Fri, 12/14/2012 - 20:08 | 3065082 nmewn
nmewn's picture

lol...maybe that was the problem.

No Walmarts in Belize ;-)

Fri, 12/14/2012 - 20:16 | 3065104 knukles
knukles's picture

Somebody else told me that.
If yer script for Prozac runs out, just hang out at WalMart.

Just don't start thinkin' your name is WaMart Shopper or it gets a little creepy paranoid like at times....
And yes, those are cameras, WalDo...

Fri, 12/14/2012 - 19:38 | 3064982 Yen Cross
Yen Cross's picture

 McAfee,  could alway join the FRB and manage the printing presses, since he is so adept at making money... He would fit right in with those compulsive liars...

Fri, 12/14/2012 - 19:40 | 3064996 Earl of Chiswick
Earl of Chiswick's picture

can he bang with impunity nubile 16 year olds back in America as he was doing in Belize?

Fri, 12/14/2012 - 19:51 | 3065034 kaiserhoff
kaiserhoff's picture

Yes, in West Virginia.

Fri, 12/14/2012 - 20:10 | 3065090 nmewn
nmewn's picture

And the ME.

Now there's a can of worms nmewn...nice goin ;-)

Fri, 12/14/2012 - 20:13 | 3065098 knukles
knukles's picture

In Alabama can even marry 'em one day a year if they're yer blood relative.


No, I never been to blood.. er Alabama


Fri, 12/14/2012 - 20:27 | 3065137 nmewn
nmewn's picture

Hey!...no fair...lol.

I'm ashamed to have to report this but...yes, this was in Fla...

"A Marion County man accused of having sex with a miniature donkey says a state law banning "zoophilia" is unconstitutional.

Assistant public defenders for farmhand Carlos R. Romero, 32, filed a motion asking a judge to have the statute overturned, according to the Ocala Star-Banner."


The donkey is seeing a vet psychiatrist now for emotional problems following the rape...it was non-consensual according to the donkey...as translated by her brother, the mule (who is fit to be tied or roped or sumpin).

And NO!!!...I don't want to hear about the debauchery Frisco! ;-)

Fri, 12/14/2012 - 20:56 | 3065222 Cognitive Dissonance
Cognitive Dissonance's picture

Too funny. Where do you come up with this stuff? And why?

I hope you're planning on donating your brain for scientific study when you pass. It will advance the world's knowledge base immensely. :>)

Fri, 12/14/2012 - 21:16 | 3065298 nmewn
nmewn's picture

"Where do you come up with this stuff? And why?"

Well, I'm a native to Fla., a proud Southerner and its self deprecating humor as opposed to what was intended as humor (above) and is sometimes used as a club to belittle. Just pointing out that, for the Yanks and "cosmopolitans" that use it as a bludgeon better make sure their family closet is clear of incestuous skeletons.

And thanks for the compliment but I've not yet begun to debase myself...I plan on leaving nothing behind (organ wise) to be of any use to anyone.

It's mine ;-)

Fri, 12/14/2012 - 21:02 | 3065239 Papasmurf
Papasmurf's picture

Carlos was caught slipping the noodle to Doodle.  The guy made an ass of himself.  The court gave him probe-ation. 

Fri, 12/14/2012 - 20:17 | 3065109 chockl
chockl's picture

How would you know ass hole.

Fri, 12/14/2012 - 19:57 | 3065047 besnook
besnook's picture

funny to read people criticizing a bullshitter(i like him) being questioned by pro bullshitters each trying to out bullshit the other. mcafee is my hero of the moment.

Fri, 12/14/2012 - 20:04 | 3065056 golfrattt
golfrattt's picture

No, Sir, i did not have sex with the 17 year old, nor the 18 year old.

Wait, i did have sex with the 17 year old. Wait, not really, that's a hoax. Gotcha.!

I did have sex with the 20 year old, that's not a hoax. I would never joke about a thing like that. Unless you think i had sex with the 18 year old, which i didn't, it was a hoax. Gotcha again.!

But i'd never lie about having sex with an underage girl, Sir. Unless i did, now THEN it would be a hoax..

jesus fucking christ

Fri, 12/14/2012 - 20:11 | 3065092 knukles
knukles's picture

Hah ha!
Gotcha again.  (giggles)
I never had sex with Jesus Christ unless he was 20 years old.  Remember the missing years?  Well we wuz in Belize having sex.
Just kidding.
But let me tell you, could he pound a load of bath salts up his bung... Oh my God!





Sat, 12/15/2012 - 02:22 | 3065779 nowhereman
nowhereman's picture

Knukles, you're draging again.

Fri, 12/14/2012 - 20:04 | 3065068 hedge your future
hedge your future's picture

I like how when he says "there's torture going on in Belize, Mexico, ..." he cleverly avoids certain countries.

Fri, 12/14/2012 - 21:20 | 3065313 Bunga Bunga
Bunga Bunga's picture

The difference is that torture by government authorities is illegal in Belize and Mexico. Don't get involved in illegal things, better get tortured where it's legal.

Fri, 12/14/2012 - 20:12 | 3065071 Monedas
Monedas's picture

Easier to listen to than Bernanke or Greenspan .... I've killed my own dogs and cats humanely .... when it was warranted ! I cut the head off a goat once, skinned it and gutted it .... I gave it to a black lady who ran a pit barbecue .... she gave me one rear quarter .... barbecued and floatin' in hot sauce .... I thought I was very generous ! 

Fri, 12/14/2012 - 20:08 | 3065073 knukles
knukles's picture

All alcohol and drugs make you faster, stronger, better looking, smarter, the cops always say they're here to help you... I don't allow it in my house, I don't drink, I don't know people who drink, if I took action against everybody who had problems with my dogs there'd be no people left, my girlfriends are good friends, superman is a close friend, anybody can make bath slats, I sleep with them both, they love me, the arm of Belize is long, lemme tell you, it was only act of my attorney at 5 am that kept me from going back to my girlfriends who are being tortured in Belieephhtzzt, bzzzzt, These people have more gangs than anywhere in the world, the reason I had xmppphlft aginy, I and the security guards, zzzzzzzzztttthft, CNN was fhpttttt





(wondering if John has thought of rehab, yet)

Fri, 12/14/2012 - 20:22 | 3065125 Monedas
Monedas's picture

Dear Knuckles ,   I don't think it's admissible for a known and celebrated alcoholic like yourself to opine on McAfee's sobriety !  He looked pretty healthy !  He certainly had more going on than those pathetic CNBC reporters ? Hmmm ?

Sat, 12/15/2012 - 14:11 | 3066589 lakecity55
lakecity55's picture


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