Friday (Much Needed) Humor: John McAfee Interview

Tyler Durden's picture

On a less than joyous day such as this, we all need a little cheering up. So here is John McAfee. Why? Just watch it.

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Yes We Can. But Lets Not.'s picture

Yeah, but that ain't my definition of 'lucky'.

kaiserhoff's picture

This is your brain on drugs.

Ctrl_P's picture

Those CNBC guys really need a detox. And therapy!!

news printer's picture

We petition the Obama administration to:

Secure resources and funding, and begin construction of a Death Star by 2016. :)))

Bollixed's picture

Is it any wonder why the folks who listen to those clowns at CNBC are broke...

NotApplicable's picture

I loved it when Dorkin made mention of their viewers. He must be referring to the producers in the control room.

Monedas's picture

Piers Morgan interviewed Charlie Sheen .... successful interview .... synergy .... they made each other look good !

blunderdog's picture

John's holding up very well considering today's tragedery.

They Tried to Steal My Gold's picture

We now know who was the Burger King Mascot....

Yes We Can. But Lets Not.'s picture

Banzai, can you make that happen?  Thanks in advance.


And Limerick King would chip in like this:


If CNBC comes calling I'll pass

I'd turn around and step on the gas

But the Virus King, he handled them swell

He swam with those sharks quite well

Considering he had a load of bath salts up his ass

Cognitive Dissonance's picture

It appears John McAfee is just as buggy as his software.

<Time to upgrade to John McAfee 2.0>

babylon15's picture

"Making money is easy.  It is.  The difficult thing in life is not making it, it's keeping it.  Any idiot can make money.  Keeping money, very few can do." - John McAffee

Worth it for that one quote.

Also, anyone notice he contradicted himself about the dogs?  The first time he mentions the dogs being shot, he says the Belizian police shot them.  The second time he mentions it, he says the Belizian police poisoned the dogs and they were in agony so he shot the dogs himself along with his own security guards.

piceridu's picture

No, he say they shot his "dog" (singular) in front of him...I think he said he had 10 dogs...he said he had to shoot his other dogs that were poisoned...IDK, the guys seems pretty lucid to me...

NotApplicable's picture

My guess is that someone is trying to make an example of an ex-pat who is obviously not in the club.

If you're a self-made millionaire, you either suck up to the club, or they come looking to take you out.

knukles's picture


pass the bath salts and Jello

Looney's picture

Keep the Jello, Knukles, but pass what's left of the b-b-bath salts! Please? ;-)


Matt's picture

Seperate events.

The dog shooting by police was when they raided his place back in April when they suspected him of manufacturing crystal meth.

He put down 4 of his dogs because they were puking and shitting blood everywhere ... is it two months ago now? I can't even keep track of how long this zany story has been dragging on.

q99x2's picture

Good thing he doesn't drink. You need a clear head to get through what he is going through. I missed the funny part. He seemed very honest except I think he shot the guns more than he admitted.

one-in-nine's picture

I too missed the humor ... but then I do drink ... especially on a Friday when the FED has announced QE4 but the metals are down instead of way up.  No humor there either. 

El's picture

McAfee should have told them it was none of their business how much money he has or where it is located. Those folks are obnoxious.

Mi Naem's picture

Looks to me like this guy's getting screwed, in public, to the rooting and hooting of a bunch of mob-minded nihilistic assholes. 

Nothing funny about that.  It's just pitiful. 

Matt's picture

You are absolutely right. How dare people force him to do interviews on the phone and TV, and write blog posts about his antics?! Absolutely disgusting how they victimize him! 

He has been getting people to interview him for, what, two years now? While also writing a blog and posting all kinds of silliness on other blogs to draw attention to himself? And each time, his stories contradict the previous version, and contain outrageous stuff. And then next time he is like "ha ha that was a joke!". Which would be more humorous if these shenanigans were not in the middle of a murder investigation.


SolidSnake961's picture

this is so damn funny, how did cnbc keep a stright face asking him those questions??

NotApplicable's picture

Because otherwise they'd look like the loser tools that they are. You seem to be forgetting they are a supposedly a financial network, not TMZ.

magpie's picture

Very archetypical

nmewn's picture

So I guess the key here is, become independently wealthy, relocate to a country in close proximity to another country that doesn't have an extradition treaty with that country, so that if you go off your prozac and kill someone you can step across the border and be extraditied back to the nation where you aquired your wealth.

Where you still retain duel citizenship with a completely different country...just in case.

I think I got it now, be mobile, flexible & liquid ;-)

Cognitive Dissonance's picture

Or just stay on your Prozac. ;)

nmewn's picture

lol...maybe that was the problem.

No Walmarts in Belize ;-)

knukles's picture

Somebody else told me that.
If yer script for Prozac runs out, just hang out at WalMart.

Just don't start thinkin' your name is WaMart Shopper or it gets a little creepy paranoid like at times....
And yes, those are cameras, WalDo...

Yen Cross's picture

 McAfee,  could alway join the FRB and manage the printing presses, since he is so adept at making money... He would fit right in with those compulsive liars...

Earl of Chiswick's picture

can he bang with impunity nubile 16 year olds back in America as he was doing in Belize?

nmewn's picture

And the ME.

Now there's a can of worms nmewn...nice goin ;-)

knukles's picture

In Alabama can even marry 'em one day a year if they're yer blood relative.


No, I never been to blood.. er Alabama


nmewn's picture


I'm ashamed to have to report this but...yes, this was in Fla...

"A Marion County man accused of having sex with a miniature donkey says a state law banning "zoophilia" is unconstitutional.

Assistant public defenders for farmhand Carlos R. Romero, 32, filed a motion asking a judge to have the statute overturned, according to the Ocala Star-Banner."

The donkey is seeing a vet psychiatrist now for emotional problems following the was non-consensual according to the translated by her brother, the mule (who is fit to be tied or roped or sumpin).

And NO!!!...I don't want to hear about the debauchery Frisco! ;-)

Cognitive Dissonance's picture

Too funny. Where do you come up with this stuff? And why?

I hope you're planning on donating your brain for scientific study when you pass. It will advance the world's knowledge base immensely. :>)

nmewn's picture

"Where do you come up with this stuff? And why?"

Well, I'm a native to Fla., a proud Southerner and its self deprecating humor as opposed to what was intended as humor (above) and is sometimes used as a club to belittle. Just pointing out that, for the Yanks and "cosmopolitans" that use it as a bludgeon better make sure their family closet is clear of incestuous skeletons.

And thanks for the compliment but I've not yet begun to debase myself...I plan on leaving nothing behind (organ wise) to be of any use to anyone.

It's mine ;-)

Papasmurf's picture

Carlos was caught slipping the noodle to Doodle.  The guy made an ass of himself.  The court gave him probe-ation. 

chockl's picture

How would you know ass hole.

besnook's picture

funny to read people criticizing a bullshitter(i like him) being questioned by pro bullshitters each trying to out bullshit the other. mcafee is my hero of the moment.

golfrattt's picture

No, Sir, i did not have sex with the 17 year old, nor the 18 year old.

Wait, i did have sex with the 17 year old. Wait, not really, that's a hoax. Gotcha.!

I did have sex with the 20 year old, that's not a hoax. I would never joke about a thing like that. Unless you think i had sex with the 18 year old, which i didn't, it was a hoax. Gotcha again.!

But i'd never lie about having sex with an underage girl, Sir. Unless i did, now THEN it would be a hoax..

jesus fucking christ

knukles's picture

Hah ha!
Gotcha again.  (giggles)
I never had sex with Jesus Christ unless he was 20 years old.  Remember the missing years?  Well we wuz in Belize having sex.
Just kidding.
But let me tell you, could he pound a load of bath salts up his bung... Oh my God!





nowhereman's picture

Knukles, you're draging again.

hedge your future's picture

I like how when he says "there's torture going on in Belize, Mexico, ..." he cleverly avoids certain countries.

Bunga Bunga's picture

The difference is that torture by government authorities is illegal in Belize and Mexico. Don't get involved in illegal things, better get tortured where it's legal.

Monedas's picture

Easier to listen to than Bernanke or Greenspan .... I've killed my own dogs and cats humanely .... when it was warranted ! I cut the head off a goat once, skinned it and gutted it .... I gave it to a black lady who ran a pit barbecue .... she gave me one rear quarter .... barbecued and floatin' in hot sauce .... I thought I was very generous ! 

knukles's picture

All alcohol and drugs make you faster, stronger, better looking, smarter, the cops always say they're here to help you... I don't allow it in my house, I don't drink, I don't know people who drink, if I took action against everybody who had problems with my dogs there'd be no people left, my girlfriends are good friends, superman is a close friend, anybody can make bath slats, I sleep with them both, they love me, the arm of Belize is long, lemme tell you, it was only act of my attorney at 5 am that kept me from going back to my girlfriends who are being tortured in Belieephhtzzt, bzzzzt, These people have more gangs than anywhere in the world, the reason I had xmppphlft aginy, I and the security guards, zzzzzzzzztttthft, CNN was fhpttttt





(wondering if John has thought of rehab, yet)

Monedas's picture

Dear Knuckles ,   I don't think it's admissible for a known and celebrated alcoholic like yourself to opine on McAfee's sobriety !  He looked pretty healthy !  He certainly had more going on than those pathetic CNBC reporters ? Hmmm ?