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The Magic Money Printer: The Solution To All Of Life's Problems, Now Available For The Low, Low Price Of $4.79
The Fed has one, the ECB has one, the BOE, BOJ, SNB also have one. Even Zimbabwe has one. And anyone close to them is filthy rich and has nothing to worry about, ever again. So it is only fair the "Magic Money Printing Machines" which are now the bedrock of the "developed" world's economies, should be made available to everyone. And at a price of just $4.79, soon everyone can be a self-made (literally) trillionaire, and live in filthy Keynesian opulence until the end of time.
Presenting: the Magic Money Printing Machine (Black), SKU: YM013X
Performance effect: Print a piece of white paper and the paper turns to the money note.
Preparation: Place one note or two notes in the printing machine, prepare a piece of white paper in the same size as the note.
1. Place the white paper in the other side of the machine.
2. Revolve the machine and the money note comes out.
3. As the paper in machine moves in s-shape, the white paper enters in one side and the note comes out in another side of the machine.
End result: Keynesian wealth for everyone. And lots and lots of magic.
Package contents:
1 × Magic Money Printing Machine
1 × White Paper
1 × Money Note
1 × User Manual
Coming soon to a socialist, Keynesian utopia near you: the Magic Money Printer sequel - the Magic Money Tree.
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Will it work on Silver Certificates?
You can always wallpaper an office with it. Problem with paper IOU's, someone has to honour them. Personally I think it'll look nice in the den next to the Worldcom wallpaper, Bear Sterns and soon to be Walmart.
http://www.thenation.com/blog/171770/global-day-action-hits-walmart-10-c...
It's still going on btw.
If it's ok for the Bankers to counterfeit money, then I say we should all counterfeit money
You don't get it. All fiat currency is counterfeit. All of it, not some of it. All of it.
There is nothing backing it except a handful of people stating that it's worth something. Until they change their minds on Jan 23rd 2013.
why do modern coins have ridges in them?
As Garth Algar would say, "They're ribbed for her pleasure, ewwww."
Jan 23rd? Is that just some random date?
dang, first double post
googled it for you:
Justin Bieber Atlanta Tickets - Justin Bieber 01/23/2013 Philips Arena Tickets on StubHub!
I'd like to see the Cops trying to arrest each and every single person if we all decided to print our own money on the very same day
Wouldn't really have to get everyone. Just round up a few handfuls and have a very public execution, problem solved. That's the nice thing about sheep, they are easily cowed. Zing.
Good one, then each person counts the printed money behind the bars :) printing company
"why do modern coins have ridges in them?"
so people won't clip them for their zinc
why do modern FRNs have signatures on them?
The borrower(s) is always required to sign the loan document, also known as a note. The lender, in this case the Federal Reserve Bank, is not required to sign the note.
now we're getting somewhere
Because when coins has metalic value, people used to scrape the coins edges.
I want a currency printer. 5 fivers a day per person shouldn't be too hard to spend. Mix 'em up with some regular tens and ones and twenties and pretty soon, they're in the local currency. Gas, grocery stores, pharmacy, restaurants, post office, golf course, movies.
Adds a little somethin to the bottom line.
CPL, regarding your assertion that:
There is nothing backing it except a handful of people stating that it's worth something.
Fiat money is backed by murder. There is a combined money/murder system. The debt controls depend on the death controls. Fiat money works because it is the state religion of a sovereign power that has an armed force to back up taxation and legal tender laws. It is the police and the armed forces that back up fiat money. What made War King then morphed to make Fraud King.
The only way that any fiat money has meaning is because that fiat money fraud is backed by force. The money system pays for the murder system, and then the murder system backs up the money system in return. Everyone is already integrated into that overall system of organized lies, operating organized robberies, with the power to murder being the ultimate form of the power to rob.
It is not just a "handful of people" stating fiat money is worth something. It is an entire global system of electronic fiat money frauds, backed by atomic bombs, and the rest of the other real threats from weapons of mass destruction. Everyone who uses money to live is part of that system. The police and armed forces are paid to maintain that system, and they expect to retire, and receive pensions and benefits from that system, which will be maintained by those who become the police and armed forces in the future.
IF there was any saner public debate about the magic money printer and money tree, then that would address the reality of the murder system which made those meaningful. However, such a sane public debate would have to address those issues of an already established global electronic fiat money fraud, backed by the threat of real atomic bombs, as being THE PROBLEM. It is all organized lies, backed by violence, which has been developed using science and technology to become many, many orders of magnitude greater than ever before ... and that is automatically getting bigger even as I write this ... Moreover, it is absolutely impossible, in principle, for human reality to ever be anything else than some ecology of those factors.
Of course, the problem is that people can say things like you did, CPL, that fiat money is backed by nothing but a handful of people stating it is worth something, when, actually, it is backed by millions of organized murderers, armed to the teeth with weapons of mass destruction, who are paid by billions of other people to keep on doing that!!!
The ONLY sane public debate would be to negotiate better death control systems. However, instead, we are rushing towards the established systems going mad, and destroying themselves, through too much "success" at controlling civilization with financial frauds, until that results in genocidal wars, and democidal martial law. The alterantive, of a saner debate, that faces the facts about the combined money/murder system, appears to be practically impossible, and a non-starter. There is no doubt in my mind that more than 99% of the general population does not understand their own real situation, and do not want to understand. There is a tiny minority of the population that does sort of understand, BUT, their only goal is to keep their triumphant systems of frauds going and growing ...
Although it's been years since I've read it, that great populist from Texas, Wright Patman said it best about the Federal Reserve (circa 1934):
"It's a total moneymaking machine."
(It think it was in Chapter 8?)
http://www.devvy.com/pdf/2006_October/Patman_Primer_on_Money.pdf
I never understood why they didn't use a foto of Lincoln WITH THE HOLE IN HIS HEAD... You know to help re-inforce everyones compliance to the idea...
This is wrong and will cost people jobs! I mean what the heck would Bernanke and his CB friends be doing if these Money Machines take off?
Is that Stephen Colbert's head on the newly printed $100 note coming out of the machine?
Quick, hire AAPL's lawyers and sue the cherry blossom out of the Japs for this shameless patent theft!
I'm working on counterfeiting silver dollars with my 3D printer and some electroplating equipment.
Gotta fund my transmutation device somehow.
My alchemy lab to create a philosophers stone is not working out well. The smells are horrible and neighbors are suspicious that I'm brewing meth.
Please keep me updated on the transmutation device.
</s>
The key step to creating a philosophers stone is to become a jew... That gets you a job in banking, whereby you can readily start turning paper into gold for yourself...
What they don't tell you is that the ink is probably $400. Damn HP inkjets...
Yes, now you too can live like a banker.
BUT WAIT!
if you call within the next 15 minutes you will receive not one, but TWO handy dandy money printers. Because with all that printing, there will certainly be some wear and tear here.
Just pay the additional shipping and handling.
BUT WAIT! That's not all!
The Magic Money Printing Machine® is also a fully functional 'cigarette' rolling machine! The next time you want to "burn one" you can actually burn one.*
*Magic Money Printing Machine Co. LLC does not endorse the use of federal reserve notes as a substitute for rice paper. Federal reserve notes contain chemicals known to the State of California to cause cancer and birth defects or other reproductive harm.
Thanks HH for the memories of "real" paper money. That is one "golden" memory of my youth. : )
Of course, you realize that all five dollar bills will buy you five dollars worth of silver. Right?
Yes, but of course you realize that the amount of silver, in grams, a five dollar bill buys decreases over time, right? And of course you realize this is because the dollar is no longer backed by a finite resource?
Future silver certificates will redeem to get you a look at a silver bar on a table.
Kinda like a lap dance, once the song changes, you better have another certificate or the silver gets moved to another table.
VIP of course gets you some champaign and a couple bars at the same time.
At the BYOB all nood, the bars come out of their wrappers, but are kinda beat up....
correct. perhaps the clueless post was....
I expect from you a better ad hominem attack than simply, "clueless." No bold, ALL CAPS, or swearing, vast-dom?
That is not like you. Are you not feeling well?
Isn't this what JFK did to get uh,,,,, never mind.
Infinite money? I'll take 2.
infinite money? I'll take....more
and don't skimp on the sidedish of chicks
-------
OT but related: the "solution" on "The Daily Beast": Treasury to decree one coin of platin as worth a trillion bucks and buy back it's debt from the FED
http://www.thedailybeast.com/articles/2012/12/11/how-a-platinum-coin-cou...
infinite money? I'll take....mine first.
i can only afford it at $5 even. my money printer doesn't do coins.
See ~ The old adage "it takes money to make money" has been proven correct... & the pricetag is only 4.98 joobux...
I wonder if they'll take the stuff printed from their own machine
Nope ~ They'd rather shakedown granny until she's forced to cough up her tea set & last butterknife in the cupboard...
http://www.richardsona.com/storage/idiocracy_money.jpg
How did people in idiocracy know what the bills said on them?
Also, welcome to costco, I love you.
brought to you by carl's jr
When they RFID chip your ass, you're gonna be required to get an Obama portrait or a Star of David on your skin over where they embed the chip...
I like money
You must like debt then ~ cause that's what it is...
"Ow, my balls!"
go away!
Batin'!
Dont worry, with real leadership like this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DYpfHBicjQk
We will be just fine.
Maybe the ears in chief can print himself a realistic birth certificate with it.
I'll put one on the wall in my bathroom.
You must have an infinite power to beat the equation, a trillion printers running 24 hours a day eventually would not be enough.
This is the end result of attaching interest to your medium of exchange... it need not matter what the medium of exchange is.
You do not need to add more printers, you just add more zeroes to the bills and print the same amount.
You would run out of ink, then you could transport it to a computer then your bound by the speed of the processor.... the equation overtakes everything... you need unlimited power.
Landotfree, are you really Denninger? You keep saying the same thing over and over again.
I love that word, "Opulence".
Central Banks Collapsed:
WE NEED A GLOBAL HAIRCUT YES OR YES ....
VOTE for GLOBAL DEBT HAIRCUT
and limit LTV up to 30-50%
Stablish Mark to Market in Real Estate Loans
Avoid Backed Assets more than 20% of Balance Sheet
"VOTE for GLOBAL DEBT HAIRCUT"
How?
Brilliant.
Like a Chia Pet, only instead of sprouting hair....sprouts money.
From the BRILLIANT BANZAI:
50 cents!
http://tinyurl.com/d5xkvvv
Garfield is on sale for $254. Inflation kicking in for chia pets apparently. Quick Ben! 15 minutes is all you need, right?
Who's going to buy the Chia beard once the Sea Monkey version of the Vampire Squid hits the market? Just add water. No more HP Printer cartridges needed. According to Bain, they made money on the cartridges anyway, not the printers. Same difference with the Sea Monkey food. The give you the Squid, but you have to pay for the food. Not available in stores.
the scene at the end of "Raiders of the Lost Ark" should come to mind ..when they open the Ark. Don't look!! Yes, printing money is beautiful, food stamps, college loans, tax credits .. can have cake and eat it too ... but resisting the tempation to do it will save your life and your soul.
That sacred puritin value of thrift, hard work and self reliance must not be forgotten.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m83JcNoNQ-4
Except, from where they sit, this is more like opening the box and watching poor people get their face ripped off, while you walk away with the ark after.
When all of you start printing your millions I'll be delighted to toil long hours in exchange for your product. I'm sure of it.
Where's the Abbott and Costello skit about two tens for a five...?
my guess is you can expect a call any second from the FBI......
Just wait for the Obama to GIVE IT AWAY TO THE POOR PEOPLE....AS 'INCENTIVE'....magic word...incentive
Right; because the millions of people who were gainfully employed in 2007 but aren't now are lacking incentive and not opportunity?
That goes hand in hand with not taxing capital gains as income to provide _ n _ ent _ ve to investors.
As if those whose income consists entirely of dividends, coupon payments, and "taking some off the table" need a better incentive than labor-free income?
Wow, just like our money, it takes more than a dollar to print a dollar.
Does anybody have Krugman's address?
Made in China :-))
Soon they'll be delivering a pure-gold coiner with one pound of sheet tungsten enclosed.
I hear you can mine tungsten all day for $5 an ounce.
<h/t Johnny Bravo.......in whatever mine he's buried.>
Clownbux! Kin I haz moar?
The TNI feed giving advanced trading feed
https://twitter.com/TNIFeed
Does is come with it's own wheelbarrow or do you have to print off some Benny bucks first?
You get the wheelbarrow for free as long as you pay a separate shipping and handling charge of $397.63.
<And none of your funny money either bro. I'm on to you.>
>... and live in filthy Keynesian opulence until the end of time.
Which is in about 5 days, depending on your spot on the globe. Right around the same time that this chinese POS will break and become non-functional, anyhow.
No one get's their money back and I'll just save my soul, thank you very much.
Bubble Bernanke and the Fed will all make us all billionaires.
A US dollar collapse would sure boost assets. Just what Krugman, Bernanke and the rest of Fed Keynesian fans want.
LOL, Bernanke says he's not monetizing and then monetizes.
Eventually everyone figures out their game. A rush for the exits with the US dollar.
Why not let everyone have one then with the extra taxes from all the self made millionaires the national debt would be written off in no time.
What I heaer from my secret source is
next year everybody may put a aditional zero on the bills in he's possesion.
no printer needed. special pencils will be provided from the FED
That printer looks a bit like a Zig Zag product... from my youth.
Those things never worked right. I just let my girlfriend roll.
ha,ha,ha,gives a new meaning to the term " rolling your own"!
Looks like a toilet paper dispenser.
Paging moron ilene....
What's worse bitch, this (fake paper) or fake gold?
This is a worthless promo. You have to put in a dolla bill to print moar identical ones - so you are limited to one hyndred dolla denominations - not worth the cost of the paper. We need one that allows you to add moar zeroes, separated with a comma - as timmah and bernank will readilt assert to. Unless someone has a quadrillion bill that i can borrow for a few minutes t ouse as seed money.
Trying to type on those smart phones is a bitch, ain't it?
It is not a printer. It is a magic trick for small children. You hide a bill inside, then you get someone in the audience to give you a piece of paper and verify it is a plain piece of paper. You put the paper in at one end, you turn the crank, and the illusion is created that the paper gradually turns into money as it goes through the machine. The piece of paper goes into the hiding place where the bill was, and the bill comes out the other end.
A better idea, if you want to make money, would be to put a blank piece of paper in the machine, and have someone in the audience give you a $100 bill, then turn the bill into paper, and walk away with the $100.
Giesecke and Devrient are ripping us off!
What's the price of the replacement ink cartridges? There's always a catch!
free..
remove
open
cut wrist
fill with blood
close
reinstall
same as fed notes
Funny. Made in China too.
I'm buying one for each member of my family as Christmas gifts!
The printers are made by Samsung not Apple.
Don’t forget Mr. Nuthouse, who is in jail for counterfeiting one dollar silver coins that contained 1 ounce of silver!
It's not printing and it's not even check kiting, it's writing bad checks. He'll have some more to write for Europe soon too, so I see the stock market lowering with all the bad checks being used elsewhere. That's assuming there's a limit to the number of bad checks that can be written and a possibility of a choke when the black swan comes.
Now that is Nigger Rich !!
Our money is backed by the gubermint, gold is backed by nothing...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BiXIs3bbETA
I used to have one of those from my Magic Kit when I was a kid!!!
I hope the currency you roll through the machine comes out shredded. I'd laugh at that.
There are a few questions that still keep me awake at night: why do people recognize as valid the money printed by any central bank? Or better yet, why do people recognize as valid the powers of a man like you and me to print at his discretion (or at the discretion of a very limited number of people) an infinite amount of money? Who exactly gave them the powers to command my life? Because I certainly didn't! But I suppose people are more interested in watching the newest episode of X Factor or Big Brother than questioning fundamental issues in their lives. As W. Churchill put it, "the best argument against democracy is a five-minute conversation with the average voter".
Don't get ripped off buying that toy as very soon the paper you use to print that dollar on will cost more than the dollar you print! Play it smart and wait for the rubber stamp the bank will use to add zeros to your bills to save printing costs.