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Boehner Brings The Reality Back - Live Webcast

Tyler Durden's picture




 

As Plan B (or Plan ZZ) is back on the table, markets (in their infinitely efficient wisdom) have retraced all of the Obama spike from last night. GOP's Boehner takes the stand to explain Plan B, we presume, at 10ET. Live webcast here (calls or puts today?)

 

 

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Tue, 12/18/2012 - 10:54 | 3074577 Eireann go Brach
Eireann go Brach's picture

Can someone throw their fucking shoe at him, preferably full of fresh piss and a few stones!

Tue, 12/18/2012 - 11:15 | 3074646 francis_sawyer
francis_sawyer's picture

For the life of me, I don't know why they didn't just try to engineer this 'Fiscal Cliff' dropoff [into presumably oblivion] to occur precisely at the hour of the Winter Solstice on December 21st...

~~~

At least then it might have some entertainment value... It'd be like... "Here we go people!... Wheeeeeee!"

Tue, 12/18/2012 - 11:27 | 3074678 smlbizman
smlbizman's picture

but isnt it great that everybody gets a chance to talk...i find it so much more sincere when they let the little congress people speak...

and 1 more thing...i am all for plan b...the abortion pill makes the most sense...

Tue, 12/18/2012 - 15:52 | 3075713 MrBoompi
MrBoompi's picture

Can somebody please tell the people what Bernanke and Dimon have told Congress to do so we can get this dog & pony show over with?

Tue, 12/18/2012 - 12:45 | 3074985 Chupacabra-322
Chupacabra-322's picture

Plan C - Kill yourselves Please.

Tue, 12/18/2012 - 10:55 | 3074579 GMadScientist
GMadScientist's picture

"calls or puts today?"

play the volatility (unless you know a congresscritter).

Tue, 12/18/2012 - 10:56 | 3074580 Cognitive Dissonance
Cognitive Dissonance's picture

Shhhhhh

The spirits are about to speak.

Tue, 12/18/2012 - 10:56 | 3074584 GMadScientist
GMadScientist's picture

Captain who?

Tue, 12/18/2012 - 10:55 | 3074583 surf0766
surf0766's picture

Reminds me of Kerry. "My plan... " and "My plan this" crap. I feel like puking.

Tue, 12/18/2012 - 11:00 | 3074585 buzzsaw99
Tue, 12/18/2012 - 10:57 | 3074587 The trend is yo...
The trend is your friend's picture

watch the quivering lips say nothing in a 10 minute speech

 

Tue, 12/18/2012 - 10:59 | 3074594 Iam Yue2
Iam Yue2's picture

Thanks Tomato Man.

Tue, 12/18/2012 - 15:55 | 3075722 MrBoompi
MrBoompi's picture

Golfing makes me orange too!

-----   Mr Minute Maid

Tue, 12/18/2012 - 10:59 | 3074596 surf0766
surf0766's picture

The people of Greece must look at us and say WTF are you idiots?

Tue, 12/18/2012 - 11:00 | 3074600 ThisIsBob
ThisIsBob's picture

Is he going to cry?  Seems to be a lot of that going around.

Tue, 12/18/2012 - 11:02 | 3074604 Debeachesand Je...
Debeachesand Jerseyshores's picture

We are waiting for BoneHead to finish smoking his joint.

Tue, 12/18/2012 - 11:03 | 3074606 the not so migh...
the not so mighty maximiza's picture

Plan B for Bankrupt

Tue, 12/18/2012 - 11:15 | 3074643 yogibear
yogibear's picture

No formal banruptcy for the US ever.

The US will just print, they won't declare bankruptcy. They will imply it with a worthless currency.

That's Bubble Bernanke and the Fed's solution. It's in progress right now.

 

Tue, 12/18/2012 - 11:35 | 3074705 unrulian
unrulian's picture

B for Bitchez

Tue, 12/18/2012 - 11:03 | 3074607 Benjamin Glutton
Benjamin Glutton's picture

(calls or puts today?)

 

is it too early to go all in on tears?

Tue, 12/18/2012 - 11:03 | 3074610 Dexter Morgan
Dexter Morgan's picture

I used to think without doubt that Pelosi was the most disgusting house speaker we ever had.  Now sometimes I wonder.  They all play for the same team.

Tue, 12/18/2012 - 11:07 | 3074623 Zer0head
Zer0head's picture

great choice the 79 year old Botox Queen or the man from Orange

Tue, 12/18/2012 - 11:05 | 3074615 scatterbrains
scatterbrains's picture

What's he going to say ?  Let's ask gold...  oops  no deal bitchezz.  Mean while the "deal" clock on cnbc is ticking  lol

Tue, 12/18/2012 - 11:05 | 3074616 Zer0head
Zer0head's picture

his staff must be making an effing fortune frontrunning his and O's comments

Tue, 12/18/2012 - 11:07 | 3074624 Cognitive Dissonance
Cognitive Dissonance's picture

They wouldn't do that........would they?

/sarc

Tue, 12/18/2012 - 11:11 | 3074617 drivenZ
drivenZ's picture

puts

 

Boehner's re-election for speaker is on Jan 3rd. If he gives to much to Obama he'll be voted out of his speakership. A week or two long cliff dive into january would not surprise me. 

Tue, 12/18/2012 - 11:36 | 3074708 GMadScientist
GMadScientist's picture

"C'mon Barrack, I'll fold after the 3rd, but lemme save some face for awhile." - Orangina

Tue, 12/18/2012 - 11:10 | 3074628 adr
adr's picture

Plan C, always go for plan C...

Tue, 12/18/2012 - 11:11 | 3074634 Squid Vicious
Squid Vicious's picture

Boner's plan B: Catch the next flight to somewhere he can work on his golf game and tan

Tue, 12/18/2012 - 11:14 | 3074642 1fortheroad
1fortheroad's picture

Hes late, must be waiting for Barry at the 19th hole.

Tue, 12/18/2012 - 11:23 | 3074667 Disenchanted
Disenchanted's picture

patience...he was refilling his flask.

Tue, 12/18/2012 - 11:18 | 3074648 Euro Monster
Euro Monster's picture

Where's my popcorn?! Where's my popcorn!?

No Ben, FUCK YOU and your printing press! I just want my popcorn!

Tue, 12/18/2012 - 11:16 | 3074649 Bastiat009
Bastiat009's picture

All this is not too bad for stocks compared to PMs. But the big winner is still Europe where the currency is getting stronger and stronger. Shopping in Paris is getting expensive for the poor Americans.

Tue, 12/18/2012 - 11:21 | 3074660 IridiumRebel
IridiumRebel's picture

That sucks too cuz so many Americans just pony up a 1800 round trip plane ticket to buy French crap that they could get here. Save the money and go to Montreal. 

Tue, 12/18/2012 - 11:20 | 3074655 JSD
JSD's picture

What just happened?

Tue, 12/18/2012 - 11:20 | 3074656 Squid Vicious
Squid Vicious's picture

fucking cantor, slimy little traitor.. i had to turn it off

Tue, 12/18/2012 - 11:23 | 3074658 yogibear
yogibear's picture

No worry, Moodys, Fitch and S&P will all approve any spending cut. Even if it's a joke.

All three credit rating agencies switched from rating garbage debt as triple A to the next sham of rating the largest irresponsible country as fiscally responsible.

The democrats and republicans will remove the debt limit and will spend like drunken sailors without any way of flagging it.

Tue, 12/18/2012 - 11:21 | 3074659 Spastica Rex
Spastica Rex's picture

"Negotiating" with yourself. Is that what they call it these days?

 

Tue, 12/18/2012 - 11:25 | 3074662 Smuckers
Smuckers's picture

I'll ponder the comments while I eat my reheated Big Mac on Christmas Day.  Granted, I'll have to scrape out the spit from the disgruntled teenaged flipper, they usually hide it under the pickles.

 

Tue, 12/18/2012 - 11:22 | 3074663 SelfGov
SelfGov's picture

Soooooooooooooooooooooooooo are they or are they not kicking the can?

Tue, 12/18/2012 - 11:23 | 3074665 Zer0head
Zer0head's picture

who are all these people?

Tue, 12/18/2012 - 11:24 | 3074668 Zer0head
Zer0head's picture

nice teeth

Tue, 12/18/2012 - 11:25 | 3074670 Element
Element's picture

"Peace in our time"!
 
--

US Navy pulls two aircraft carriers from Syria shores
 
Published: 18 December, 2012, 00:56
 
Two aircraft carriers stationed off the Syrian coast were sent back to the US this week in a move that the Obama administration thought would ease tensions, but angered Turkish officials who hoped for significant US military presence in the region.
 
The USS Eisenhower aircraft carrier and the USS Iwo Jima Amphibious Ready Group and its 2,500 marines were recalled after being stationed on the Syrian coast, allegedly in preparation of potential military invasion.
 
http://rt.com/usa/news/us-aircraft-stationed-turkey-236/

--

… and the same day ... i.e. today ... a bit to the north …

--

Russian warships set sail to Mediterranean amid possible Syria evacuation
 
Published: 18 December, 2012, 17:04
 
The Baltic Fleet's guard ship "Yaroslav Mudry" during a military exercise on the Baltic Sea. (RIA Novosti / Igor Zarembo)
 
The Russian Navy has sent five ships to the Mediterranean Sea to replace the region’s existing fleet. The move comes after the foreign ministry said it may call for the evacuation of Russian citizens in Syria if the government in Damascus falls.
 
­Three warships and two support ships of the Russian Baltic Fleet are set to join the Russian naval forces in the Mediterranean.
 
The Neustrashimyy-class frigate Yaroslav Mudri and landing ships Kaliningrad and Aleksandr Shabalin, accompanied by a towboat and a tanker ship, have set sail from their base in Baltiysk, the defense ministry announced on Tuesday. Their mission includes exercises in air defense, anti-ship warfare and anti-submarine warfare, the Navy statement said.
 
http://rt.com/news/russian-warships-syria-evacuation-280/

--

Ok, maybe peace is a meaningless word.

But something changed here. 

Tue, 12/18/2012 - 11:28 | 3074679 SheepDog-One
SheepDog-One's picture

LOL yea they dont know WTF to do at this point, I think theyre just doing whatever today so they can live to try to stay alive till tomorrow to hopefully pull another scam.

Tue, 12/18/2012 - 11:34 | 3074703 Element
Element's picture

maybe it'll all be over by Christmas again?

doubt it

Tue, 12/18/2012 - 11:24 | 3074672 grunk
grunk's picture

Velour Lady - "Git-R-Dun!"

Tue, 12/18/2012 - 11:26 | 3074673 Kaiser Sousa
Kaiser Sousa's picture

so once again absolutely nothing of substance is said or instituted....

more total fucking "ham hocking"....

and oh yeah, the Dow rises and Gold & Silver are taken down for good measure.....

FUCK YOU BERNANKE AND YOU BANKER OWNED BITCH ASS POLITICIANS.......

Tue, 12/18/2012 - 11:26 | 3074676 EmmittFitzhume
EmmittFitzhume's picture

PUTZ

Tue, 12/18/2012 - 11:26 | 3074677 fatsak
fatsak's picture

How much money is Soros going to make when Obama rejects plan B?  All hedge funds all in for Santa rally.   In Obama's favor to go over cliff and blame Republicans, make Soros a ton of $$.

Tue, 12/18/2012 - 11:28 | 3074680 JPM Hater001
JPM Hater001's picture

I particularly liked the part where he pledged another trillion of our money.

Tue, 12/18/2012 - 11:29 | 3074681 Spastica Rex
Spastica Rex's picture

OK, I'm thick: what is "Plan B," exactly?

Tue, 12/18/2012 - 11:35 | 3074702 SheepDog-One
SheepDog-One's picture

I bet it involves a broom handle shoved up where the sun dont shine.

Tue, 12/18/2012 - 11:46 | 3074736 marcusfenix
marcusfenix's picture

you know, it's the one right after plan A which obviously failed, so there is no need to explain what plan A was, of course plan C is in the works because plan B will most likely suffer the same fate as plan A did, therefor there is no need to explain plan B either. since plan B is still "on the table" plan C isn't really a viable option yet and is therefor still in the planning stages and can not be explained with any accuracy at this time as it is subject to change as the situation may dictate.

got it? 

Tue, 12/18/2012 - 11:55 | 3074771 GMadScientist
GMadScientist's picture

http://www.planbonestep.com/

"A backup plan that helps prevent pregnancy from happening after unprotected sex or birth control failure and is not for routine use"

Tue, 12/18/2012 - 11:30 | 3074682 Temporalist
Temporalist's picture

Bank Deposits Surge $2 Trillion More Than Loans: Credit Markets

"Deposits at U.S. banks exceed loans by an unprecedented $2 trillion as the threat of a slowing economy tempers borrower demand and lenders preserve tightened standards."

http://www.bloomberg.com/news/2012-12-18/bank-deposits-surge-2-trillion-...

Tue, 12/18/2012 - 11:29 | 3074684 SheepDog-One
SheepDog-One's picture

'Politicians making a deal'....should send fear thru every american, but they got better things to worry about such as their FB status.

Tue, 12/18/2012 - 11:30 | 3074686 adr
adr's picture

Thanks to all of this market bullshit Nat Gas is up $.18 in less than two days, erasing five days worth of losses. I'm sure there is a supply and demand reason for it. Oh yeah, there is, speculators front running each other to take advantage of an algo induces QE money spike.

Total bullshit, guess my bill is going to be higher than I thought it was last week.

Tue, 12/18/2012 - 11:40 | 3074715 unrulian
unrulian's picture

ahhh i love the off the air graphic...atleast i don't have to scratch my eyes out watching boner

Tue, 12/18/2012 - 11:40 | 3074718 roadhazard
roadhazard's picture

 blah, blah, blah. I change the channel when anyone starts talking about fiscal cliff. Let me know if Boehner starts crying, I'd watch that for the laffs.

Tue, 12/18/2012 - 11:42 | 3074722 lemarche
lemarche's picture

MARKET DOES NOT GIVE A SH.TE ! WHAT A JOKE OF A"MARKET": MANIPULATED BULL FEIST TO CLOSE 2012 AT THE TOP AND DRAW IN SMALL SUC.ER INVESTORS IN 2013

Tue, 12/18/2012 - 11:51 | 3074757 optimator
optimator's picture

Our fleet is perfectly safe in the Med, we only need fear of attack on unarmed ships sailing alone.  There's that shitty little country in the ME that can get away shooting up these fellows with impunity.  Liberty?

Tue, 12/18/2012 - 11:56 | 3074775 GMadScientist
GMadScientist's picture

Enjoy your SUV.

Tue, 12/18/2012 - 11:55 | 3074770 Smuckers
Smuckers's picture

"Speaker.Gov - We are currently off the air"

I don't care what they're off of, I want to know what they're on.

Tue, 12/18/2012 - 11:57 | 3074778 GMadScientist
GMadScientist's picture

Anoxia can lead to significant brain damage.

Tue, 12/18/2012 - 12:15 | 3074859 Aurora Ex Machina
Aurora Ex Machina's picture

Really, with his tan and hair, he should just crack out a cigar, look dead into the camera and state:

I love it when a plan comes together.

 

 

Tue, 12/18/2012 - 12:25 | 3074893 GeorgeHayduke
GeorgeHayduke's picture

HAHA! You used Boehner and reality in the same sentence. Nice joke.

Mainstream Republicans haven't a clue about reality since 1980 when they voted in their philosophical, out of touch with reality guru Ronnie Reagan. They haven't come back from LaLa Land since then.

Tue, 12/18/2012 - 12:52 | 3075025 TNTARG
TNTARG's picture

What about Decenber 23, 2012, which is the end's day - I believe - of the 99 year lease for the FED, since The FEDERAL RESERVE ACT that was passed on December 23, 1913?

IS THE AMERICAN PEOPLE AWARE OF IT? IS OBAMA GONNA HAVE THE GUTS TO GET BACK THE US SOVEREIGNITY OVER THE US CURRENCY?

Or prehaps they're gonna sign another 99 year lease meanwhile people buy the last presents for Chistmas Eve?

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