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It's 3:30 PM: Here Comes The Rumor

Tyler Durden's picture




 

This manipulated market has become so predictable a blind, retarded monkey with a dartboard should have made enough money by now to retire 3 lifetimes over.

From 9:39 am:

Sure enough, at 3:19 pm:

  • White House Said to Consider Smaller Fiscal Cliff Deal: Politico - source

And cue melt up.

As the VWAP algotron maintains...

 

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Fri, 12/21/2012 - 16:44 | 3088141 Jonas Parker
Jonas Parker's picture

Right on time!

Fri, 12/21/2012 - 16:47 | 3088152 Banksters
Banksters's picture

Blind retarded monkey?   

 

You mean Trav?    

Fri, 12/21/2012 - 23:38 | 3089243 icanhasbailout
icanhasbailout's picture

We really need to get The Onion plugged into the algo feed

Fri, 12/21/2012 - 16:52 | 3088175 azzhatter
azzhatter's picture

Fiscal hill now

Fri, 12/21/2012 - 16:53 | 3088179 This just in
This just in's picture

Fiscal curb.

Fri, 12/21/2012 - 17:05 | 3088231 THX 1178
THX 1178's picture

Fiscal Swale

-- Benny Shakespeare

Fri, 12/21/2012 - 20:24 | 3088274 FEDbuster
FEDbuster's picture

Fiscal pothole on the Highway to Hell?

Blind, retarded monkey?  You mean even Jim Cramer could see this pattern.

Fri, 12/21/2012 - 17:08 | 3088246 Rogue Trooper
Rogue Trooper's picture

I think this sums it up better.....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IJNR2EpS0jw

Fri, 12/21/2012 - 17:41 | 3088339 ball-and-chain
ball-and-chain's picture

I'm not blind.

I'm not retarded.

And I'm not a monkey.

Nevertheless, I'm broke.

What's the deal?

Drats!

http://www.angrysinner.blogspot.kr/2012/12/yesterday-i-didnt-drive-jim-to-school.html

Fri, 12/21/2012 - 16:46 | 3088147 SheepDog-One
SheepDog-One's picture

They LOWERED the fiscal cliff! OMFG....YAY!!!!

Fri, 12/21/2012 - 19:15 | 3088487 fuu
fuu's picture

Should just lower it to zero so this kind of tragedy never happens again.

Fri, 12/21/2012 - 16:46 | 3088148 catacl1sm
catacl1sm's picture

My favorite part of the roller coaster is going up the  big hill...

Fri, 12/21/2012 - 16:46 | 3088151 catacl1sm
catacl1sm's picture

ps. Where can I get a retarded monkey? I already have a dart board.

Fri, 12/21/2012 - 17:00 | 3088215 eatthebanksters
eatthebanksters's picture

Go to the line at the Fed hiring office...

Fri, 12/21/2012 - 17:13 | 3088260 smlbizman
smlbizman's picture

d.c...or.....wal-mart,.... id go wal-mart at least you can return it....

Fri, 12/21/2012 - 16:47 | 3088154 surf0766
surf0766's picture

He gonna do moar !

Fri, 12/21/2012 - 16:49 | 3088161 deejo
deejo's picture

Ouch. Burn on monkeys out of nowhere !

Fri, 12/21/2012 - 16:49 | 3088165 Lost Wages
Lost Wages's picture

I think it might've backfired.

Fri, 12/21/2012 - 16:52 | 3088174 buzzsaw99
buzzsaw99's picture

(algos) don't want less spending

Fri, 12/21/2012 - 18:16 | 3088482 sessinpo
sessinpo's picture

Up arrow for you. Politicians are algos themselves.

 

This thread is a total joke, yet very few understand it. It doesn't matter to politiicians whether or not we go over any cliff. What matters is who benefits and is in control afterwards.

Fri, 12/21/2012 - 16:52 | 3088172 Dollar Bill Hiccup
Dollar Bill Hiccup's picture

I wish I was a blind, retarded monkey sometimes ...

Fri, 12/21/2012 - 16:51 | 3088173 Bunga Bunga
Bunga Bunga's picture

Small is beautiful.

Fri, 12/21/2012 - 16:53 | 3088177 azzhatter
azzhatter's picture

Keep Obama in president

Fri, 12/21/2012 - 16:53 | 3088180 gjp
gjp's picture

wtf does smaller deal mean?  does it mean less spending cuts and less tax raises, i.e. higher deficit?  That was always the certain outcome.  The can will be kicked.

Fri, 12/21/2012 - 16:56 | 3088193 gjp
gjp's picture

ok I read the source.  Only less spending cuts, but tax cuts all expire as scheduled.  No chance in hell that would ever pass the house.  Can't believe even algos would buy that story.

Fri, 12/21/2012 - 18:23 | 3088507 sessinpo
sessinpo's picture

And who cares whether a story is true or not. Algoes don't buy or sell stories.

 

Let me put it to you another way. If I was selling bomb shelters based upon the idea that the majority of the population was going to die by various reasons on December 21, 2012, do I really care if it is true and actually happens or do I care if there is a market for such an idea in which I can profit?

 

I posted weeks ago, various scenarios and basically off those scenarios suggested a sell environment. I also noted a Santa Clause rally would occur as it has. Most of this political stuff is just noise. With or without a fiscal cliff deal, the future path is more difficult and will continue to increase in that manner.

Sat, 12/22/2012 - 02:09 | 3089359 DeadFred
DeadFred's picture

Algos are so stupid they even believe the BLS data

Fri, 12/21/2012 - 16:53 | 3088181 odatruf
odatruf's picture

So long as that simian has a big enough bank roll to lay on the table, even if has a near guaranteed rake.

 

Fri, 12/21/2012 - 16:57 | 3088187 LouisDega
LouisDega's picture

Thurman Munson quote redux.... "Im just happy to be here today"  ( Literally )

http://images2.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20110322211007/baseball/images/f/f...

Fri, 12/21/2012 - 17:14 | 3088264 Clueless Economist
Clueless Economist's picture

You mean Herman Munster?

Fri, 12/21/2012 - 16:59 | 3088204 TWSceptic
TWSceptic's picture

Where can I get one of those monkeys?

Fri, 12/21/2012 - 17:01 | 3088217 machineh
machineh's picture

Ask your KongressKlown if he can get you into the next FOMC meeting.

Fri, 12/21/2012 - 17:03 | 3088224 eatthebanksters
eatthebanksters's picture

There are two at the pet shop right now, one is named Geithner and the other is named Bernanke..

Fri, 12/21/2012 - 17:07 | 3088237 Gold N Glocks
Gold N Glocks's picture

Three actually, the third one is named Michelle...

Fri, 12/21/2012 - 17:02 | 3088222 Boilermaker
Boilermaker's picture

GOOD JOB BEN!!!!  YOU MAGNIFICENT MOTHER FUCKER!!!!

Fri, 12/21/2012 - 17:05 | 3088229 Colonel
Fri, 12/21/2012 - 17:06 | 3088233 max2205
max2205's picture

that's it

Fri, 12/21/2012 - 17:05 | 3088235 Boilermaker
Boilermaker's picture

LMFAO...the Russel 3K just SLAMS into the close.

Awsome show of PURE CONTROL.

And the SPX closes above 1430 to completely ass fuck put holders.  Classic.

Fri, 12/21/2012 - 17:07 | 3088239 freedogger
freedogger's picture

"White House Said to Consider Smaller Fiscal Cliff Deal"

That's kind of like my asshole - I just can't see it.

Fri, 12/21/2012 - 17:07 | 3088240 jubber
jubber's picture

Really how can the IBEX close at a six month high four and a half hours after it closed, this is total utter bollox, up 300 points on the day...73 of them after the market shut!

Fri, 12/21/2012 - 17:07 | 3088245 Gold N Glocks
Gold N Glocks's picture

I didn't realize that Odumbo was blind...

Fri, 12/21/2012 - 17:08 | 3088248 debtor of last ...
debtor of last resort's picture

I knew this article would be published.

Fri, 12/21/2012 - 17:13 | 3088259 stant
stant's picture

washing machine charlie of the algo world.

Fri, 12/21/2012 - 17:20 | 3088281 lizzy36
lizzy36's picture

Jesus Christ, Helen keller could do less damage on a 6 lane freeway than these dopes are doing to the USA.

Fricking morons can't figure out which end a number 2 comes out of and we are supposed to believe they are capable of doing a comprehensive fiscal deal. 

Pull this leg and it plays jingle bells.

Fri, 12/21/2012 - 17:23 | 3088291 ShrNfr
ShrNfr's picture

Pull the other one and Ben prints more Benny Bux and shits on you? The jingle bell leg has Ben also printing more Benny Bux, but he pisses on the peons instead.

Fri, 12/21/2012 - 17:38 | 3088328 max2205
max2205's picture

+1000

Everyday I say go all in TNA at 3:30. My monkey is retired and I am still trading.

Fri, 12/21/2012 - 18:28 | 3088521 sessinpo
sessinpo's picture

lizzy36:  'Fricking morons can't figure out which end a number 2 comes out of and we are supposed to believe they are capable of doing a comprehensive fiscal deal. "

 

And maybe its time you realize that a deal is really irrelevant. The US can't pay back its debt and keep its obligations to its social programs, while defending the country. It is mathematically impossible. It's all about who gets the blame and who is in control in the aftermath.

 

And as usual, it will be the average citizen, you and I, that gets punished and pays for it.

Fri, 12/21/2012 - 17:21 | 3088282 ShrNfr
ShrNfr's picture

Another compromise from Obama! He gets everything he wants, and the country can go to hell. Chicago at its best.

Fri, 12/21/2012 - 17:22 | 3088289 Dead Canary
Dead Canary's picture

On behalf ot the retarded monkeys of the world, HEY!

Fri, 12/21/2012 - 17:23 | 3088290 Clowns on Acid
Clowns on Acid's picture

"Smaller" fiscal cliff deal ? Does that mean when one goes over the cliff the jagged rocks are not as far away?

They will go over the cliff...BUT they can push the effective date of higher taxes, etc...out to say March 2013. More time to pose and posture and have Lame Stream Media flog Boehner or his replacement with the ubiquitous "fairness" mantra.

Forward, Fairness, or Flagellation ! 

Fri, 12/21/2012 - 17:25 | 3088298 caimen garou
caimen garou's picture

would not expect anything less, the only thing holding this market up is the grat wall of bullshit." weak as water,weak as water I tell you"  Mrs Slocome 1972

Fri, 12/21/2012 - 17:26 | 3088303 asteroids
asteroids's picture

Blow torched the shorts into the close again.

Fri, 12/21/2012 - 17:32 | 3088315 Afrispaans
Afrispaans's picture

Soon to be blind, retarded space monkeys.

Fri, 12/21/2012 - 18:37 | 3088560 ZeroAvatar
ZeroAvatar's picture

HEY!  I think I represent that remark!

Fri, 12/21/2012 - 17:34 | 3088319 EclecticParrot
EclecticParrot's picture

Motto of the current 'easy money' short-fucking VWAP algos:  "Volcker Was A Pussy"

Fri, 12/21/2012 - 17:35 | 3088321 Pejorative Requiem
Pejorative Requiem's picture

Oh.... errrr..... a blind retarded monkey? Well, uh...... with a dartboard? I, uhhh........

Fri, 12/21/2012 - 17:48 | 3088360 jmcadg
jmcadg's picture

I need to hang with some blind retarded monkeys, because other than stacking, I'm shit at this lark.

Fri, 12/21/2012 - 17:51 | 3088371 jmcadg
jmcadg's picture

Is this similar to going for a lower debt ceiling limit.

Nope that doesn't work either.

 

Fri, 12/21/2012 - 18:14 | 3088477 therearetoomany...
therearetoomanyidiots's picture

"What are they gonna say about him? What are they gonna say? That he was a kind man? That he was a wise man? That he had plans, man? That he had wisdom? Bullshit, man!"

                                                                                                                                                                                                       ---James Cramer on Bernanke

 

Apologies to Milius and Copola

Fri, 12/21/2012 - 18:15 | 3088484 alfred b.
alfred b.'s picture

 

      Obamer to pharmacist:  Give a gross of band aids plse, gotta bring somebody back from the dead....Mr. E. Conomy!

 

Fri, 12/21/2012 - 18:20 | 3088494 Yen Cross
Yen Cross's picture

 Lock the hubs, were headed back up the [ old dirt road] again... I'm going to fire up the bbq and throw some teriyaki chicken kabobs on it.

Fri, 12/21/2012 - 18:46 | 3088585 MyBrothersKeeper
MyBrothersKeeper's picture

Read the Politico article via the link here.  Obama's scaled down version is: no taxes on those under 250k, no sequestration spending cuts, no entitlement or tax reform and extend payroll tax.  Or in other words: everything he wanted from the start.  That's the scaled down version?? JB couldn't get enough votes for the over 1m tax hike without significany spending cuts and now Obama thinks tax hikes on anyone over 250k and no spending cuts has a chance?

That's like saying i'll make you a great deal since it's Xmas and when the customer says "ok let's hear it", you say "how about full price".  I guess that's negotiation Chicago style 101.

Fri, 12/21/2012 - 18:52 | 3088602 blunderdog
blunderdog's picture

It's been obvious for a good while that both sides really wanted the Dubya tax cuts to expire.

Fri, 12/21/2012 - 20:09 | 3088824 Yen Cross
Yen Cross's picture

 i don't/ what about capital gains?  Kiss your " Verizon" goodbye.

Fri, 12/21/2012 - 19:57 | 3088801 smiler03
smiler03's picture

I would love to see a list of world exchanges holidays and opening times

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