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Meet The 'Jim Cramer' Of China
26-year-old Hu Bin is China's most popular online market commentator - just four years after starting his blog. As Bloomberg BusinessWeek notes, his success started when Premier Wen Jiabao announced a 4 trillion renminbi rescue plan and as 'Commander in Chief of the Stock Market Army' Hu says "I knew I just needed to be clever and use this chance of high liquidity in the market to make myself famous." The brash, eccentric, and outspoken blogger is among the Top 10 most influential people on the Chinese stock market (though under his alias 'Yerongtian' - though preferring the nickname 'Batman') and notes that "any eccentric behavior would attract people's attention. If you understood this vital point, you could control people's minds." Hu says he is not a financial rabble-rouser adding that "the stock market in the US is managed by regulations; the Chinese market is managed by humans. The 72 million 'retail' Chinese investors aren't as mature as American investors, and I write to meet their immediate needs." While recognizing the irresistible pull of stocks, he understands he's giving advice to people he knows probably shouldn’t be in the market but are going to invest anyway.
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And now we have discovered the playbook of AnAnonymous, this fellow's evidently far less successful comrade in consumptionalizing chinese 'american' citizenism (whose nature is eternal).
Too bad it never dawned on him that one must mix a little logic and factual information in with all the insanitation of the cosmonaughty spirit, the blobbing-up, the time-traveling to Eastern Island, the citizenism (which is the most mattering thing) and the monolizing of the speeching means.
Alas, alas, octuple alas, just have to bear with it.
people don't want to hear facts.
I constantly have to warn friends who are placing very risky bets in the market.
and when I do give them a tip, and when I say they can cash in a profit of 20% if they do it right, I get the same answer every time.... 20%? that's it?
nevermind they constantly lose their bets and the next bet needs to cover all previous losses.
The more they lose, the more nuts they get.
And any fool that confirms their way of thinking is a hero.
Those who warn are the negative once and they don't want to listen because than they have to realize they lost it all and won't recover it.
If you explained to them that it only takes 500 2%+ trades to make a couple of million, which happens to be a reasonable amount of trades over a couple of decades...
But people are impatient and think we're in Vegas instead of backing good ideas to bring them to market. That last part seems to be out of people's hands and minds when investing.
BwooWaa ?
20% is fucking massive? Im all fucking ears for 20%. I would even buy you a steak dinner and get you a hand job at the titty bar. Casinos are built on a couple percent edge on average across all games. People are so fucking retarded. Let them buy lottery tickets.
akak said:
The magic crazy beanstalk beans that one can trade with the Chinese citizenism hobbos for hastens the blobbing up process remarkably.
let's be fair here...
our correspondent from the East has come a long way since the 'blobbing up' days of a year or so ago...his(their?*)skill at manipulating English idioms and even manufacturing coherent paragraphs has improved exponentially(though apparently subject to random falling back periods as we have witnessed lately!)
In fact, you could build a case for his(their?*) being a microcosm of the Han reality of the present moment in time...a street level view of China gives one access to a picture of a populace entranced with consumerism, western style, and with making it, a la eternal American style...even in the smaller size cities(here in the south at any rate)the person on the street is dressed stylishly, the cars are uniformly new, the scooters all (smoke n noise free)electric, the air delightfully clean, the roadsides free of debris of any kind, let alone the fabled deposits of Han citizenism which yáll are stuck on...and the women are slim, fashion-crazed, and hot! One of the few virtues of aging is that it gets easier to deal with the hormonal responses to this kind of visual smorgasbord of delights!
Perhaps our verbally-variegated pen pal is simply a youngish Han citizen(citizens?*) of the male persuasion, in need of an outlet for his youthful impulses, which due to the imperfections of the gender balance(greatly in favor of the female)have less chance of being satisfied in the manner of 'social, er, intercourse' than one might wish!
*I've long suspected the Han Citizen behind the AnA Avatar to be a pluralized pen pal...perhaps in the same fashion as our hosts are Tyler(s)...oh, dear!...could it be that the ZH crew have been having us on all the while>??!!>??
Sounds just like our Un-licensed-Financial-Advisor-In-Chief...
PLOFITS! bitchez...
Apparently, there is no word for suitability in Mandarin, or Kenyan.
http://www.finra.org/Industry/Issues/Suitability/
the stock market in the US is managed by regulations
Brian Sack begs to differ.
"jim Cramer of China" Is he saying Bear Stearns is a buy?
I'm always curious of what type of people are attracted to Cramer's behavior. I mean the guy acts like a fucking moron, plain and simple. Is he going for the moron loving audience? Even if he was of any value, I couldn't bring myself to sit down and watch him. Such a pathetic limp dick asshole carrying on like he's hip or something. Jim, you're a jackoff and stop rolling up the shitsleeves, you have no guns punk. You are just a pathetic old man auditioning as Bozo's replacement
.
"If You Act Like A Dumbshit, They'll Treat You As An Equal"
--- J.R. "Bob" Dobbs
It's all a numbers game. Consistent results from polls, surveys, focus group studies, and other marketing research indicate that the largest and most profitable market segment for just about any product is composed of morons.
As they'd put it at the Chinese Communautist Citizenism Ministry of Truth, "the moron target audience is the king target audience."
buy gord.
He looks chinese
Looks or rooks?
I am seriously impressed by this conversation. You guys are on to something here.
"He rook rike a man..."
--- Ms. Swan
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u_wXt4CRGzs
Corngatultion on eur wecent erection, misser Oblama"
Bruy-Bruy-Bruy
Serr-Serr-Serr
Sad-Sad-Sad state.
Bad-Bad-Bad ending.
Dont bruy-Dont bruy-Dont bruy
There is always a BURR Market somewhere...
"MUST buy Rehman Blothels --- it can't miss!"
What's Chinese for BooYaa?
Fang Pi
That means "fart" . Often with the implied meaning "bullshit".
I see a messy ending in his future.
This is China. Not the USA. I agree with Seasmoke. He probably won't live to be 30...
Someone will lose a lot and he'll "get dissapeared"...
V&'d+C&'d
Vanned and Canned
I wonder if his auditing firm is any better than Jim's.
Booooooooooooooyah Batman
Rong Appre and Googre........Serr twanspotes.......
Can we see the URL, or is it censored?
More importantly, can you read the site once you get there?
Hoping he spoke the international language of finance: charts
.
Charts? I thought it was sound effects of stampeding cattle and submarine klaxons.
"What's Chinese for BooYaa?"
Buick.
Nobody talking about the NRA's call to "put armed police officers in every school" in Amurika?
That might be a hint...
Never thought I'd see ZH shy away from right wing crazy. Could it be impossible to find a positive, anti-liberal spin for this one? Nah, I don't think so . . . but I shouldn't have to make them up myself.
Next the corporate education lobby will be calling to disband public schools because we just can't afford to defend them.
Okay, here we go: We tried, but the union thugs wouldn't let us.
They shud go all out and just put ceiling mounted turrets in every room
There was that episode of South Park with the Robocop mech patrolling the halls.
one in every hallway!!
http://gizmodo.com/5955042/south-koreas-auto+turret-can-kill-a-man-in-the-dead-of-night-from-three-clicks
We had an armed officer in my high school in the early '90s. Lived in a white community where the biggest crimes were kids stealing beer.
The officer was actually there to stop kids from sneaking out of the school. Mostly to walk down the street to get food, since the cafeteria food would kill you.
So they can molest children like TSA
I think we found out who AnAnonymous really is.
A little off topic, but any suggestions regarding mutual funds going forward? Company plan 401k (Fidelity) will not allow a cash out and will not allow investing in equities. Was leaning towards BRICS, but would like more opinions.
Thanks in advance.
You probably won't get any good replies here, and a lot of smartass answers. Best help would be to list the ticker symbols for all your fund options. When somebody asks me this same question, I have to look at holdings of each fund before I make a decision. Most of them own the same shit. And then, it all depends on your outlook for the future.
take out as big a loan to yourself as possible and buy PMs or pay off high debt or all day massages or whatever
Thanks for the replies. The available funds number greater than 12,000. I guess I was more or less wondering if there were anyone else in a similar situation. I've already used your recommendation once and I have another month until the loan is paid in full. Guess I'll do'er again.
Whichever selection you make, you may want to peruse, among other fund data, the Monthly Holdings Report for those funds in which you have an interest. The holdings are reported with a 30-day delay, but still worthwhile, as noted in an above post. Said reports are available on Fidelity's site -- no log-in necessary.
Be advised that you may be amused ( or disturbed ) regarding what you may discover: to wit, who would have guessed that the top equity holding in Fidelity's venerable, "conservative" balanced offering ( opening its doors in 1947 ) Puritan Fund, was none other than the hedge fund hotel itself: Apple.
You can read these reports at your leisure, over a tall, cool glass of Metamucil.
Go Vangaurd or Pimco, REIT's or HY corp bonds. Put in only up to your employer match cap, fuck the rest. Better to be taxable than illiquid.
Dropped down to employer match about six months ago. Thanks for the replies. Was looking at a PIMCO "commodity" fund. Mostly treasuries.
Hu Bin looks Mafioso. Cramer looks ... I have no public opinion.
Scary
LOL!
Other than having hair, not being fat, not being jewish, not above the law, and having their names spelled and pronounced differently. they seem similar..
The irresistible pull of wealth without work.
In a country of 1 billion people, what could go wrong?
The commies have a chosen one. Happy looking fella. What's his forecast for more building of empty cities?
Hu is this guy? Never Hued of him.
If Sun Tzu did meth, he'd be this fucking idiot.
SO when does he get his Chinese rap video that can go to 2 billion hits on YouTube.
When I want Chinese market advice I listen to Sum-ting Wong...this Hu guy is a douche.
I ask Bang Dae Ho.
Check out the trivia game I made.
If you have Android you can download it for free. Quizz about monetary policies, gold coins, our beloved Madoffs and Corzines... and of course, Bernanke!
https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.zeda.crisistrivia
This guy will make a nice question too!
Then why hasn't he published the "American" ETF prospectus yet
Waawwwwh.....BOO Yah!
I hope Cramer and this guy die in a fire.
Is that bad?
Jeebus, the Chinese copy every thing in sight , but JIM CRAMER. Holy crap.
Here is what would make my weekend: "James Crames was shot and killed by a senior that lost his retirement."
I'm serious, this man is a filthy, scum-bag that deserves the very worst in life.
Please, God, serve justice on this pig!
Ultimately China is going where USA is and USA is going where China and Russia were.
Meet an 'american' chinese.
Yep, 'americanism' is spreading around the world and keeps selecting the same breed of people.
Hail to 'americanism', the best thing to ever happen to humanity.
Q: Why is there no Disneyland in China?
A: No one's tall enough to go on the good rides.
Q: How does every Chinese joke start?
A: By looking over your shoulder.
Q: What do you call a Chinese rapist?
A: Rai Ping Yu
Q: What happens when a Mexican and an China man make a baby?
A: A car thief who can't actually drive is born.
Q: Did you hear about the new American Express Card they are issuing in Red China?
A: You never leave home.
Q: Heard about the new German-Chinese restaurant?
A: The food is great, but an hour later, you're hungry for power.
Q: What do you call a drive by shooting where a Chinese guy gets shot?
A: CAPPUCINO (CAP-A-CHINO)
Q: How do you blind an Chinese woman?
A: You put a windshield in front of her.
Q: What do you call a Chinese dwarf?
A: Tai Nee.
Q: What do you call a Chinese man with a camera?
A: Phil Ming.
Q: Did you hear about the winner of the Chinese beauty contest?
A: Me neither.
Q: What do you call a dumb Chinese prostitute?
A: Wun Dum Ho
Q: What do you call an Asian receptionist?
A: Tai Ping.
Q: What do you get when you cross a Chinese and a Mexican man?
A: A car thief who can't drive!
Q: Why wasn't Jesus born in China?
A: He couldn't find 3 wise men or a virgin.
Q: How do you know if an Chinaman robbed your house?
A: Your homework is done, your computer is upgraded, but two hours later the fucker is still trying to back out of your driveway.
Scientist say the average size of the male penis has gone down to 5 inches. This just shows how big the Chinese population is getting.
Captain
An airplane takes off from the airport. The captain is Jewish and the first officer is Chinese. It's the first time they've flown together and it's obvious by the silence that they don't get along. After thirty minutes, the Jewish Captain speaks, "I don't like Chinese."
The First Officer replies, " Ooooh, no like Chinese? Why ees that?"
The Captain says, "You bombed Pearl Harbor. That's why I don't like Chinese."
The F.O. says, "Nooooo, noooo... Chinese not bomb Pearl Harbah. That Japanese, not Chinese."
And the Captain answers, "Chinese, Japanese, Vietnamese... it doesn't matter, they're all alike." Another thirty minutes of silence.
Finally the F.O. says, "No like Jew." The Captain replies, "Why not? Why don't you like Jews?"
F.O. says, "Jews sink Titanic."
The Captain tries to correct him, "No, no. The Jews didn't sink the Titanic. It was an iceberg."
The F.O. replies," Iceberg, Goldberg, Rosenberg, no mattah. All same."
Bad Memory
There lived in the State of Qi a man who had a very bad memory. While walking, he would forget to stop; while sleeping, he would forget to rise. His wife was very much worried about this and said to him one day: "I've heard that Master Ai is a very learned man with a glib tongue. He can even bring the dying back to life. Why don't you go and consult him?"
"Good idea!" the man agreed.
So he set out on horseback, bow and arrow in hand. Before he had covered a distance of 30 li he felt a call of nature. He dismounted and, after sticking the arrow into the ground and tying the horse to a tree, crouched down to relieve himself. This done, he stood up and looking to the left caught sight of the arrow.
"Wow!" he cried. " What a narrow escape! I wonder where that stray arrow came from. It nearly hit me."
Then, looking to the right, he saw the horse.
"Well, well!" he said with joy. " Though I've been badly frightened, I'm now rewarded with this windfall of a horse."
Seizing the bridle of the horse, he was about to turn round when he inadvertently stepped on his own excrement. Stamping his foot, he cried: " Damn! This pile of dog's dung has soiled my shoe. What a pity!"
Whipping his horse, he galloped off in the wrong direction. Not long afterwards, he arrived home. Pacing up and down in front of his own house, he muttered to himself: "Whose house is this? Can this be the residence of Master Ai?"
At this moment, his wife saw him. Guessing that his memory must have taken leave of him again, she let loose a torrent of abuse. Very much upset, the man complained: "I've never seen you before in my life. Why hurl insults at me like that, lady?"
Hong Kong Dong
A man goes to his doctor and complains that his penis is developing a bend in the middle.
So the doctor ran a series of tests, and had the man return to his office to report the results.
"Have you been in the Far East recently, within the last year or so?"
"Why, yes," replied the man.
"And did you have sex while over there?"
The man looked worried. "Well, yes, once or twice."
The doctor's face got a grave expression on it. "That's what I was afraid of. You have a new disease that's just starting to spread in this country. It's called 'Hong Kong Dong.'"
The man gulped. "What do you do for it? Is there a cure?"
"Well, sort of. You see, there is no way to cure the disease, but you must have an operation."
"An operation? What kind of operation?"
"We cut off your penis."
"Wow! Do you mind if I get a second opinion?"
The doctor replied, "Of course not. In something of such a serious nature as this, I think you should get a second and a third opinion!"
The man consulted a urologist who told him essentially the same story, diagnosis, prognosis, and recommended treatment.
He was understandably upset, so he asked the second doctor to recommend another doctor for his third opinion. The urologist suggested that, since this disease originated in the Far East that he travel there, as the Asian doctors might know more about it.
Mr. Unlucky promptly booked passage on an airline for Hong Kong, where he received an immediate consultation with that Crown Colony's most eminent physician.
After a series of tests, he awaited the verdict. The doctor entered the examining room.
"Well, is it Hong Kong Dong?" he inquired, unable to wait.
"Yes."
"And is it really incurable?"
"Yes, there is no known cure."
The man's face crumpled as he fought back tears. "And am I going to have an operation? Will they have to cut off my penis?"
At that the man was astonished to see the doctor break into laughter.
"What's so funny, Doc? You mean I don't have to have surgery?"
As the doctor regained control of himself, he managed to choke out, "Oh, those American doctors! Cut, clamp, sew! Surgery, surgery, all they can think of is surgery!"
"I don't have to have my penis cut off?" The man was overjoyed.
"Of course not! Just wait a couple more weeks, and it'll fall off by itself!"
Phones
The government of China announced today, that they would be removing all telephones from their country. After 6 months of hard lobbying, the organization for Independent Speech has convinced Chinese politicians to take this action.
They argued that there are too many Wings and Wongs and that many people are becoming annoyed when others Wing the Wong number.
Currency Exchange
"A Chinese man walked into the currency exchange in New York City with 2100 yuan and walked out with $300.
The following week, he walked in with another 2100 yuan, and was handed $276.
He asked the teller why he got less money that week than the previous week.
The teller said, "Fluctuations."
The Chinese man stormed out, and just before slamming the door, turned around and shouted, "Fluc you Amelicans, too!"
Chinese Pizza
An American businessman goes to China on a business trip, but he hates Chinese food, so he asks the concierge at his hotel if there's any place around where he can get American food.
The concierge tells him he's in luck; there's a pizza place that just opened, and they deliver. The concierge gives the businessman the phone number, and he goes back to his room and orders a pizza.
Thirty minutes later, the delivery guy shows up to the door with the pizza.
The businessman takes the pizza, and starts sneezing uncontrollably. He asks the delivery man, "What the heck did you put on this pizza?"
The delivery man bows deeply and says, "We put on the pizza what you ordered, pepper only."
Blind Fold
An American man was sitting in his favorite restaurant when a Chinese bloke said to him, "I am sick of seeing your big round eyes."
The American replied, "Put on a blind fold."
The Chinese man asked, "Where do I get one?
The American then said, "Here take my shoe lace."
What's Chinese for BooYaa?? Rooo Yaah!!
Is he also pumping and dumping on stocks to assist his hedge fund buddies and leave his listeners holding the bag?
I think he has that slick, "at my former hedge fund" blather going on.
Surely he spends alot of time looking at the financials and accounting details of each and every firm.
Merry Christmas to all and to all the Tylers may 2013 be your best ever.
My holiday party fest starts tonight. Blue Label on ice!
ZH is the bomb!