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Meet Your New Secretary Of State

Tyler Durden's picture


As all the rumors predicted:


Time to salute Kerry, John "Swiftboat" Kerry.

In other news:

And as confirmed by Reuters:

President Barack Obama on Friday will announce his nomination of Senator John Kerry as secretary of state to succeed Hillary Clinton, senior administration officials said.


Kerry, chairman of the Senate Foreign Relations Committee and the Democratic presidential candidate in 2004, had been widely tipped for the post as America's top diplomat after U.N. Ambassador Susan Rice withdrew her name from consideration last week.


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Fri, 12/21/2012 - 11:30 | 3086759 ShrNfr
ShrNfr's picture

Mr. Obama really does hate America, doesn't he?

Fri, 12/21/2012 - 11:32 | 3086774 Xibalba
Xibalba's picture

Heinz, bitchez

Fri, 12/21/2012 - 11:35 | 3086789 SmallerGovNow2
SmallerGovNow2's picture

USSA, a nation run by fools...

Fri, 12/21/2012 - 11:41 | 3086833 francis_sawyer
francis_sawyer's picture

I was for that appointment before I was against it...

Fri, 12/21/2012 - 11:43 | 3086851 fuu
fuu's picture

Great pic, you can see the nictitating membrane closing in his left eye.

Fri, 12/21/2012 - 11:49 | 3086889 francis_sawyer
francis_sawyer's picture

If it starts weeping blood, invite him to a poker game...

If both eyes start weeping & the skin turns orange, get your glasses adjusted because it's actually a picture of the Oompa Loompa...

Fri, 12/21/2012 - 11:50 | 3086908 Frastric
Frastric's picture

To Kerry I give you these:  .l. .l.

Fri, 12/21/2012 - 12:09 | 3086988 SanOvaBeach
SanOvaBeach's picture

2 frastric,

i give u these back .i. .i.

Fri, 12/21/2012 - 13:02 | 3087225 Pure Evil
Pure Evil's picture

Who better to take up the banner of Imperial gunboat diplomacy. At least we can rest assured the corruption and murderous intrigue of the Hillary regime, (if you thought she was incompetent as Sec. of State, think how much more incompentent, even more than the current petty dictator, she would have been as POTUS), will be whitewashed and yet, magnified ten fold by the new Sen. Kerry regime.

Exaxtly who didn't think the Susan Rice fiasco was nothing more than Kabuki theatre?

Fri, 12/21/2012 - 13:15 | 3087275 SanOvaBeach
SanOvaBeach's picture

This guy is a loser!  Sorry the World does not live up to your expectations.  R U gonna run for office?  I can tell your a wise man...........

Fri, 12/21/2012 - 14:34 | 3087628 Bicycle Repairman
Bicycle Repairman's picture

"Irish" John Kerry has the level of personal integrity that America looks for in a Secretary of State.  The countries of the world can expect plain and honest dealings.

I wonder if he'll undertake a pilgrimmage to the "old sod" while he is Secretary.  Maybe he'll look up his distant cousins while he's there.  Always good for photo ops.

Fri, 12/21/2012 - 17:23 | 3088287 Spirit Of Truth
Spirit Of Truth's picture

The man was a traitor against his country in the 60's and 70's anti-war movement.  This is the caliber of our new Secretary of State....and our Defense Secretary and President for that matter:

Tragically, America's days are numbered, as are the days of the free world's remaining liberty.


Fri, 12/21/2012 - 15:41 | 3087895 Pure Evil
Pure Evil's picture

What a pussified wimp.

The world doesn't live up to my expectations, quite the exact opposite.

The Obama/Hillary regime has proven to be even more inept and corrupt than the previous administration.

In fact, the corrupt Democrats and sellout Republicans are more than living up to my evil expectations.

Twenty children are murdered and this regime can only think of taking away firearms from law abiding citizens. We have endless drama 24/7 around the confiscation of firearms from US citizens, but not a peep about the thousands of children murdered by overhead drones by this evil administration from the mainstream media.

In fact, when Julian Assange tries to bring evidence of the children being murdered by the US military he's hunted down and silenced.

How long before Homeland Security designates anyone with a lawful firearm a domestic terrorist?

So, you can crawl your sorry ass back to your toadstool and resume your brown nosing of the pyschopaths in the current evil regime. And being that I'm pure evil, this administration makes me look like angel in comparison.

Fri, 12/21/2012 - 16:39 | 3088114 jumbo maverick
jumbo maverick's picture

Speaking of gun confiscations I wonder if we will see learch walking into some small town sporting goods store saying "is this where I can get me one of them there huntin licenses?"

Or will he suddenly have a press conference telling the world how guns are bad and people that own guns are bad and we should just melt down all guns.

Learch is such a tool. These people get me so disgusted my head hurts.

Fri, 12/21/2012 - 20:53 | 3088911 Element
Element's picture


Fri, 12/21/2012 - 12:10 | 3086997 JPM Hater001
JPM Hater001's picture

Stick with me here...

Do you think Hillary wanted to testify under oath as a US official? 

Do you think she might not wants to be part of the government starting very soon?

Do you think she would prefer if the press paid a little less attention to her daily schedule?

Who can you get that drinks all the coolaid to replace her?

They would have to be trained --Check

They would have to be Skull and Bones -- Check

US Senators are popular -- Check

Oh, and they have to be completely blind to the coming collapse so when they get left holding the bag they also get left wrapped to a stake or hung from the most convenient limb -- Check

Who ya got?  John Freaking Kerry.

Collapse time boys and girls.  Enjoy this Christmas...and I really mean that.

Fri, 12/21/2012 - 12:45 | 3087151 NotApplicable
NotApplicable's picture

Revolving door, plausible deniability FTMFW!

Fri, 12/21/2012 - 12:09 | 3087000 AldousHuxley
AldousHuxley's picture

Soon starving children in Africa will receive boxes of corn syrup based Heinz catchup to placate gold wholesale exports

Funny how rich women marry poor aristocrats then they fund their husbands to go into congress?

Fri, 12/21/2012 - 12:54 | 3087192 knukles
knukles's picture


Talk about nictitating membranes, there was a still photo shown on I think it was Bloombieburg(16oz size) this morning of Boner when they were noisesomely droning on about the fiscal cleft palate and I swear he had the greenish reptilian eyes.....
Swear it!

Fri, 12/21/2012 - 14:44 | 3087680 Uncle Remus
Uncle Remus's picture

You should probably exhale...

Fri, 12/21/2012 - 15:51 | 3087956 blunderdog
blunderdog's picture

The most amazing thing I ever saw was a teevee interview with Michael Forbes in which he literally didn't blink for something like 2-3 MINUTES.

That's just *really* not something you see in humans.

Fri, 12/21/2012 - 16:00 | 3087985 Harbanger
Harbanger's picture

Pelosi stole everyones blinks.  She's averaging 75 bpm's.

Fri, 12/21/2012 - 11:45 | 3086863 GetZeeGold
GetZeeGold's picture



Cool thing about being Sec of State is you get to park your yacht off the coast of Oman......where they don't charge taxes for it.

Fri, 12/21/2012 - 11:49 | 3086896 Silver Bully
Silver Bully's picture

'Mr. Obama really does hate America, doesn't he?'

If it looks like a duck, acts like a duck, and quacks like a duck . . . it must be an alligator. Or so the Administration would have us believe.

Fri, 12/21/2012 - 12:15 | 3087023 AldousHuxley
AldousHuxley's picture

Old men in congress proclaim their patriotism on tv while being paid highest public wages then vote to send young Americans to die in foreign wars.

It is not just Obama. The entire useless liars with law degrees.

Fri, 12/21/2012 - 20:01 | 3087382 DaveyJones
DaveyJones's picture

"liars with law degress"   - that is so close to being redundant

Fri, 12/21/2012 - 16:43 | 3088138 Harbanger
Harbanger's picture

"It is not just Obama"  Of course not, you'd have to be a racist, the MSM makes certain Obama is not blamed for ANYTHING. 

Fri, 12/21/2012 - 12:11 | 3087013 SanOvaBeach
SanOvaBeach's picture


since your still living at home w/ mom + dad, perhaps u should try the comedy store in l.a.  they are paying $12.00 an hr..............

Fri, 12/21/2012 - 12:18 | 3087037 Ralph Spoilsport
Ralph Spoilsport's picture

He'd probably do very well at that. You, on the other hand......

Fri, 12/21/2012 - 12:32 | 3087088 SanOvaBeach
SanOvaBeach's picture

your prob. right.  i'll stick 2 my 10 million business. thank u very much............

Fri, 12/21/2012 - 14:11 | 3087517 WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot
WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot's picture

Bullshit. ur postz reed like a 10 year oldz txts.

Fri, 12/21/2012 - 15:41 | 3087919 samcontrol
samcontrol's picture

or he might be a foreignor.

Fri, 12/21/2012 - 18:10 | 3088452 SanOvaBeach
SanOvaBeach's picture

When r u gonna move away from home?

Fri, 12/21/2012 - 18:25 | 3088512 SanOvaBeach
SanOvaBeach's picture

Blow me! However, when you bite down your brains well be driping from the wall!

Fri, 12/21/2012 - 18:12 | 3088461 dougngen
dougngen's picture

your business of sucking public assistance from the .gov?

Fri, 12/21/2012 - 12:32 | 3087046 fuu
fuu's picture

Settle down there John, you're going to rock the boat.

Fri, 12/21/2012 - 11:51 | 3086899 Dr. Engali
Dr. Engali's picture

That's the ugliest fucking secretary I ever saw....well there is Hitlary...Hmmmm then Madeleine Albright. I guess ugly is a prerequisite for the job.

Fri, 12/21/2012 - 12:00 | 3086950 Ghordius
Ghordius's picture

is beauty that important in a politician or a diplomat? looks like a very shallow point to me ;-)

look at us europeans, we have Ms Merkel 8-O

btw, for all controversies about his Silver and Bronze Star medals - and of course the various Purple Hearts - this is a politician that did serve for combat duty (and I have some difficulties in imagining him only scratching his ass in Nam and getting both Stars)

I find it strange that this one of the things most used against him, compared to many other, including his Skull & Bones membership (way more interesting than an invitation to a Bilderberg meeting, btw)

Fri, 12/21/2012 - 12:03 | 3086967 Spastica Rex
Spastica Rex's picture

But he's a Democrat.


Fri, 12/21/2012 - 12:20 | 3086983 Ghordius
Ghordius's picture

thanks <slaps forehead> I forgot

you see, from my point of view (very far away) it's often difficult to see the difference

wait a moment. what is actually the difference?

Coca Cola vs Pepsi? Corporate Welfare vs Welfare? Spending more vs taxing less? Guantanamo vs Guantanamo? Cruise Missiles vs drones?

well, at least you have the Whig Party to fall back on ;-)

Fri, 12/21/2012 - 12:26 | 3087067 Spastica Rex
Spastica Rex's picture

The difference is that Coke tastes like the best thing that was ever in your mouth and Pepsi tastes like rat urine. Anybody who drinks Pepsi is either retarded, crazy, or bent on rending the very fabric of American society as a whole.

As a European, I can understand your confusion. I was told everybody over there drinks Pepsi.

Fri, 12/21/2012 - 12:37 | 3087106 Ralph Spoilsport
Ralph Spoilsport's picture

Coke is a beverage - Pepsi is a chemical (IMO). Also, Coke is great for dissolving all the crap in old gas tanks where even Acetone or Methyl Ethyl Ketone won't work. It's why it does so well at settling your stomach.

Fri, 12/21/2012 - 12:49 | 3087166 NotApplicable
NotApplicable's picture

They're both chock full of HFCS and various other poisons. Me, I'll stick with beer.

Fri, 12/21/2012 - 13:00 | 3087214 inevitablecollapse
inevitablecollapse's picture

+1 homebrew FTW

Fri, 12/21/2012 - 12:34 | 3087091 TheGardener
TheGardener's picture

He questioned beauty outright, which is aesthetically completely unacceptable .
We might elect the least ugly, still trying
to beautify the nation...

P.S. The older that mean Merkel bitch gets, the more her
blue eyes shine.

Fri, 12/21/2012 - 12:05 | 3086977 Dick Gazinia
Dick Gazinia's picture

He looks like "Lurch the butler" from the Adams family.

"Thing" is giving him a Handy under the table.

Fri, 12/21/2012 - 12:16 | 3087032 SanOvaBeach
SanOvaBeach's picture

r u on imdb?  u must be gods answer to the perfect looking guy!

Fri, 12/21/2012 - 12:05 | 3086978 CH1
CH1's picture

I have some difficulties in imagining him only scratching his ass in Nam and getting both Stars

Apparently you are under the impression that honesty and virtue matter in the military-industrial complex.

Let it go.

Fri, 12/21/2012 - 12:12 | 3087009 Ghordius
Ghordius's picture

the serving men of the US armed forces (and various veterans) that I met during the Cold War here all cared about honesty and virtue


and honor

don't mistake the lambs for the butcher

Fri, 12/21/2012 - 12:27 | 3087078 Dr. Engali
Dr. Engali's picture

If you believe that this guy gives one iota about honesty and virtue then I challenge you to do just a little tiny bit of research. Then get back to us.

Fri, 12/21/2012 - 12:55 | 3087198 Ghordius
Ghordius's picture

nope. what I believe is that the young Kerry - the one coming back from VietNam with some complaints and challenges vs the old establishment - gave a few iotas about something

in fact he had quite a lot of fire in his belly

did you do some little tiny bit of research about that Kerry? I just remember, so it could well be that I remember wrongly

Fri, 12/21/2012 - 13:45 | 3087247 Dr. Engali
Dr. Engali's picture

He was an opportunist then and he is an opportunist now. If you believe that he had a "fire in his belly" then you have clearly drank the kool aid. The only fire in his belly has always been..."How can I make this work for me"?

Fri, 12/21/2012 - 12:24 | 3087062 SanOvaBeach
SanOvaBeach's picture

Dear Ghordius,

Don't waste you time trying to reason with these idiots.  Most r losers, still living at home.  They are losers, pissed off at the world and blame the current potus 4 everything!  i know it hurts but the truth hurts boys and girls.  go back to your video games and ask mommie what is for breakfast................

Fri, 12/21/2012 - 12:49 | 3087156 fuu
fuu's picture

"Hey mom could you stop posting on the internet and make some more pop-tarts?"?"

Fri, 12/21/2012 - 12:52 | 3087180 SanOvaBeach
SanOvaBeach's picture

Shit on shingles (SOS) for everybody that comments on this blog, including me!

Sat, 12/22/2012 - 09:17 | 3089549 awakening
awakening's picture

Don't Feed The Troll.

Fri, 12/21/2012 - 13:03 | 3087226 knukles
knukles's picture


He may be the only guy who had his very own personal photographer in Nam, so was reported
Is the only guy whose service photo appeared on the front page of the NYTs and had 5 or so fellas some with the sun shining on the right side of their faces, shadow on the left, some with the sun shining on the left side of their face, shadow on the right, and surprisingly, several weren't wearing their tags... which for any you fellas served in combat, know is not done for some silly ass reasons to do with useless shit like blood type, little bits and pieces for mom. 
My son took one look at it said; "Oh yeah, Vietnam, the land of two suns."

Get real.
Kerry earned his medals just like Europe earned it's Nobel Peace Prize would be the consensus amongst rational folks.

Fri, 12/21/2012 - 12:13 | 3087014 SanOvaBeach
SanOvaBeach's picture

i'm sure u have 007 looks!

Fri, 12/21/2012 - 12:33 | 3087090 TWSceptic
TWSceptic's picture

Well, at least they have a brain, oh nvm.

Fri, 12/21/2012 - 12:53 | 3087188 SanOvaBeach
SanOvaBeach's picture

I'm on a roll 137  (-'s).  Yea, yea, yea............

Fri, 12/21/2012 - 12:06 | 3086980 SanOvaBeach
SanOvaBeach's picture

r u running 4 office?

Fri, 12/21/2012 - 12:27 | 3087077 SanOvaBeach
SanOvaBeach's picture

i like it on my burgers!

Fri, 12/21/2012 - 12:34 | 3087092 Chump
Chump's picture

Dude, we get it.  You love Dems and get super butt-hurt when people talk crap about them.  Now piss off back to the DemocraticUnderground.

Fri, 12/21/2012 - 12:56 | 3087203 SanOvaBeach
SanOvaBeach's picture

Actually u don't get it!  But who cares!  "Mommie you did'nt fold my underwear right."  Are'nt you gett'in tired of flipp'en burgers?

Fri, 12/21/2012 - 18:32 | 3088538 SanOvaBeach
SanOvaBeach's picture

Do you wear the Nazi peace sign on your sleeve?  When someone disagrees w/ u, the word you like to use is, "vandelize".  You a real pcs. of work!  If your handle is you, you look like a stupid redneck!

Fri, 12/21/2012 - 12:53 | 3087183 Translational Lift
Translational Lift's picture

I wonder how much Teresa Heinz had to give to barry to get this appointment??

Fri, 12/21/2012 - 12:58 | 3087204 SanOvaBeach
SanOvaBeach's picture

She makes catsup too!

Fri, 12/21/2012 - 13:14 | 3087276 knukles
knukles's picture

News Flash:  December 21, 2012

Besides being the end of the world, today President Obama reaffirmed President Reagan's bold vision for mankind signing an Executive Order, the 1,233,463 1/2th of his second term in office, reconstituting the composition of the USDA's Food Pyramid denoting Heinz Catsup as the single most important food group in the universe.
Assertively pursuing a proactive policy to enhance the lives of millions upon the planet, Heinz has gratefully accepted a no bid contract to manufacture 700 billion single serve 1/16th ounce packets of Food Group #1 for immediate distribution to whatever Federal Agency wants the shit.
It was then announced the president and an entourage of 36 including a specific foursome of the president, Congressman Boner, Senator Kerry and Bozo the Clown were traveling to the Congressional Club for a round of golf to see in the destruction of the planet this afternoon during the Mayan Apocalypse.
The president was quoted as saying; "I'm thrilled.  Just fucking thrilled.  Seriously.  You can count on me.  Can we wear shorts there or not?" 

Fri, 12/21/2012 - 13:40 | 3087390 francis_sawyer
francis_sawyer's picture

So does this mean that he gets to be the Secretary of all "57" States?...

Fri, 12/21/2012 - 13:43 | 3087397 SanOvaBeach
SanOvaBeach's picture

Does it include Syrianna, Irananna, Libyanna, and others?

Fri, 12/21/2012 - 15:07 | 3087776 knukles
knukles's picture

francis, I hadn't even thought of that...

This is gonna take some time to digest...

Fri, 12/21/2012 - 11:36 | 3086799 Stoploss
Stoploss's picture

The feeling is mutual..

Fri, 12/21/2012 - 11:58 | 3086936 metastar
metastar's picture

Unfortunaely, the psyoped sheeple put this illegal back into office.

Fri, 12/21/2012 - 12:03 | 3086965 SamAdams
SamAdams's picture

Right, Romney in white is a much better choice than Romney in brown.  Kerry is 322 Skull & Bones, as good as a Bush bitch.

Fri, 12/21/2012 - 12:43 | 3087136 SanOvaBeach
SanOvaBeach's picture

u like it on your burgers too!

Fri, 12/21/2012 - 11:48 | 3086885 Buckaroo Banzai
Buckaroo Banzai's picture

He doesn't just hate America, he's acting on that hate to destroy it.

"when in human history has the government of any nation consciously set out to weaken that country?"

30 years from now, when America is in ruins, and possibly occupied by the Chinese, the freedom-loving remnant will look back and wonder how the vast majority of Americans were either incapable of seeing the obvious, or worse, completely indifferent to it.

Fri, 12/21/2012 - 14:17 | 3087537 machineh
machineh's picture

'when America is possibly occupied by the Chinese'

You must be joking! 

Our Israeli masters [the ones Kerry is saluting in the above photo from his AIPAC speech] have no intention of giving up so easily.

Fri, 12/21/2012 - 12:04 | 3086971 SanOvaBeach
SanOvaBeach's picture

hey shrnfr,


u hate America.............................

and so do the+36'ers.  Move 2 mainland China and c how u like it!  You'll be back! 
































































Fri, 12/21/2012 - 12:19 | 3087049 Ralph Spoilsport
Ralph Spoilsport's picture

STFU you drunken asshole!

Fri, 12/21/2012 - 12:45 | 3087148 SanOvaBeach
SanOvaBeach's picture

Many thanx buddy!  Know I'm on a roll now.......

Fri, 12/21/2012 - 12:54 | 3087193 Ralph Spoilsport
Ralph Spoilsport's picture

Let us know how you feel when you sober up.

Fri, 12/21/2012 - 12:59 | 3087208 SanOvaBeach
SanOvaBeach's picture

Is rum on sale at Walmart?

Fri, 12/21/2012 - 13:12 | 3087264 blunderdog
blunderdog's picture

The trolling is tiresome but common enough, feel free to piss on whoever you like.

But there's no need to vandalize the board with formatting bullshit, huh? Go spray-paint a dick on a bank wall instead.

Fri, 12/21/2012 - 13:20 | 3087297 SanOvaBeach
SanOvaBeach's picture

Gee, thanks for your permission!  I was not sure if I needed it.

Fri, 12/21/2012 - 13:25 | 3087334 SanOvaBeach
SanOvaBeach's picture

I like banks!  Got stock in three (3) of them.  We have been ripping-off you stupid fucks for years giving you teaser interest rates at the beginning, then jacking it up to the moon!  I can tell your a stupid ego jerk that writes checks your body can't cash.  Keep it up moron.  Your addicted to your cc's.  Im almost there, then it is the warm water and rum!

Fri, 12/21/2012 - 13:54 | 3087450 blunderdog
blunderdog's picture

Weak troll is weak.

Fri, 12/21/2012 - 13:34 | 3087372 SanOvaBeach
SanOvaBeach's picture

Yea, up to twenty (20) now.  Get $10 for every one from the Cloward + Piyen Strategy Committee.  Better check under your bed, might be a microphone there!

Fri, 12/21/2012 - 18:34 | 3088548 SanOvaBeach
SanOvaBeach's picture

The (-'s) jack-offs have not even been to Mainland China!  Burma shave!

Fri, 12/21/2012 - 12:19 | 3087045 Translational Lift
Translational Lift's picture

This POTUS really has a penchant for picking the biggest douche-bags in the world. 

Must be due to his upbringing.....

Fri, 12/21/2012 - 14:24 | 3087576 zerozulu
zerozulu's picture

He is the best possible recommendation in current circumstances, by Jews.

Fri, 12/21/2012 - 12:21 | 3087053 Pooper Popper
Pooper Popper's picture

If obama had a sell out white guy he would look like this!

Fri, 12/21/2012 - 13:40 | 3087391 SanOvaBeach
SanOvaBeach's picture

Do you get $10.00 for every up vote?  I get $10.00 for every down vote from the Save America Org.  Also known as the Clouward + Piyen Strategy Committee.

Sat, 12/22/2012 - 09:24 | 3089553 awakening
awakening's picture

Odd given the pair of 10 million+ businesses would enable to donate much more without the time wasted on ZH =/

Games up troll, run along back to 4Chan/Reddit.

Fri, 12/21/2012 - 16:03 | 3087986 Chuck Walla
Chuck Walla's picture

Mr. Obama really does hate America, doesn't he?

Welcome to the party, Pilgrim!  He's such a douche, even his fan club purged his Lerch ass.  Makes Gore look alive.


Fri, 12/21/2012 - 11:30 | 3086761 IridiumRebel
IridiumRebel's picture

Skullz Bitchez


Fri, 12/21/2012 - 11:30 | 3086762 digitlman
digitlman's picture

Reporting for doodie!

Fri, 12/21/2012 - 11:34 | 3086784 Uncle Remus
Uncle Remus's picture


Fri, 12/21/2012 - 11:31 | 3086764 ebworthen
ebworthen's picture

Good Lord, Gilligan would be a better choice.

Fri, 12/21/2012 - 11:39 | 3086826 Cursive
Cursive's picture

"Jenjis Kahn"

Fri, 12/21/2012 - 11:41 | 3086839 Dr. Engali
Dr. Engali's picture

Lol +1

Fri, 12/21/2012 - 11:48 | 3086880 JR
JR's picture

Ancestral name Kohn, changed to Kerry.

Fri, 12/21/2012 - 12:18 | 3087038 SamAdams
SamAdams's picture

ashk e nazi if there is a high level conspiracy in world banking and government.  of course they will say, "who do you believe?  me or your lying eyes?".... 

Fri, 12/21/2012 - 11:58 | 3086943 Fredo Corleone
Fredo Corleone's picture

The Louisburg Square accentuation. It manifests itself once the net worth reaches nine figures.

Fri, 12/21/2012 - 11:44 | 3086861 Taterboy
Taterboy's picture

When he does not get his way in other countries he can do what he used to do to jump the line at the Boston DMV,"Don't you know who I am."

Fri, 12/21/2012 - 12:26 | 3087069 Translational Lift
Translational Lift's picture

Or register his multimillion $ sailboat in Rhode Island to avoid paying taxes in Mass............

Fri, 12/21/2012 - 12:13 | 3087020 JPM Hater001
JPM Hater001's picture

Hell, Gilligans best friend Skinny Mulligan would have been a better choice.

That's true by the way.

Fri, 12/21/2012 - 11:32 | 3086765 Dr. Engali
Dr. Engali's picture



That lazy zombie eye thing is pretty creepy.

Fri, 12/21/2012 - 11:37 | 3086808 dexter_morgan
dexter_morgan's picture

You rang?

Fri, 12/21/2012 - 11:39 | 3086818 Jay Gould Esq.
Jay Gould Esq.'s picture

"You rang ?"  ( Ted Cassidy was taller. )

Fri, 12/21/2012 - 11:31 | 3086766 bigdumbnugly
bigdumbnugly's picture

i see they phaotoshopped the big vertical crack on his forehead off - not to mention the diodes on his neck.

Fri, 12/21/2012 - 11:36 | 3086794 IridiumRebel
IridiumRebel's picture


Fri, 12/21/2012 - 11:32 | 3086769 jefe95
jefe95's picture

Happy, Happy, Happy.


God, we have 4 more years of this nightmare.  We're only 60 days in. 



Fri, 12/21/2012 - 11:37 | 3086807 SmallerGovNow2
SmallerGovNow2's picture

These 60 days don't count!  Part of the last term! 

Fri, 12/21/2012 - 11:43 | 3086848 francis_sawyer
francis_sawyer's picture

Diplomatic DREAM TEAM...

Fri, 12/21/2012 - 13:20 | 3087301 knukles
knukles's picture

Jesus Christ, that's downright mean, pointing out that it don't count.



(Mrs K rifling through drawers for Ativan, Thorazine and enema bag)

Sat, 12/22/2012 - 06:05 | 3089487 Just Ice
Just Ice's picture

As if a cold shower was needed...

Fri, 12/21/2012 - 11:37 | 3086810 Seasmoke
Seasmoke's picture

Your math is a bit off. Ask Santa for a calendar

Fri, 12/21/2012 - 11:40 | 3086828 pods
pods's picture

The calendar I am looking at does not even go past today.



Fri, 12/21/2012 - 11:49 | 3086895 Cognitive Dissonance
Cognitive Dissonance's picture

Well.......the day ain't over yet. There's still hope your calendar is correct. :)

Fri, 12/21/2012 - 11:38 | 3086821 Cognitive Dissonance
Cognitive Dissonance's picture

Wrong. Obama still is working off his first term.

The next four years doesn't even start until Jan 19, 2013.

Fri, 12/21/2012 - 11:42 | 3086845 Joe Davola
Joe Davola's picture

Four more years of dreaming up some really juicy pardons for the last day in office send off.

Fri, 12/21/2012 - 11:44 | 3086860 francis_sawyer
francis_sawyer's picture

Gonna need to start today if he hopes to be finished on time...

Fri, 12/21/2012 - 12:16 | 3087031 JPM Hater001
JPM Hater001's picture

Charlie don't surf...or serf as today's reference might more aptly convey.

Fri, 12/21/2012 - 16:14 | 3088021 roadhazard
roadhazard's picture

You talk like a change of administration in four years is going to make anything better. Where have you been. Not paying attention that's for sure.

Fri, 12/21/2012 - 11:33 | 3086770 Cognitive Dissonance
Cognitive Dissonance's picture

The only way they could have pulled this off was to send Rice in to clear the minefield.

<Mission Accomplished Sir>

Fri, 12/21/2012 - 12:18 | 3087035 JPM Hater001
JPM Hater001's picture

Yes.  Let me distract you with this batship crazy lady.  See, John Kerry is not this batshit crazy lady I want him give him too me now!

Fri, 12/21/2012 - 11:32 | 3086772 The Gooch
The Gooch's picture

Swift boat to China.

Fri, 12/21/2012 - 11:33 | 3086776 brown_hornet
brown_hornet's picture

Have to make better helmets for SOS.

Fri, 12/21/2012 - 12:44 | 3086777 Tucson Tom
Tucson Tom's picture

Just another baffoon.move on folks,nothing new here.

Fri, 12/21/2012 - 11:35 | 3086783 docj
docj's picture

Well, that means he won't be my senior Senator any longer. That's fine with me.

But that means newly-minted Granny Lieawatha will be my senior Senator, and that pretty much sucks dog-crap.

Honestly, I'm a little surprised Jean Francois is taking the gig - he's not known for being one to sign-up for a great deal of, ahem, heavy lifting over the course of his spectacularly undistinguished public career.

Fri, 12/21/2012 - 11:39 | 3086829 DaveyJones
DaveyJones's picture

you should know what dog crap tastes like by now. In fact, we are all connoisseurs

Fri, 12/21/2012 - 11:48 | 3086876 Almost Solvent
Almost Solvent's picture

Don't worry, Scott Brown has the special election in the bag.


how funny to have Lizzy & Scottie serving MASS together.



Fri, 12/21/2012 - 11:42 | 3086847 dexter_morgan
dexter_morgan's picture

FauxCohantas - well, she'll clean Wall Street up when she gets in at least.............LOL

Fri, 12/21/2012 - 13:23 | 3087320 knukles
knukles's picture

How the fuck do people elect folks like this... I mean not the political philosophy, I mean the outright horseshit lying....

Living color real time proof we be fucked by ourselves, again.

(Hail Mary, full of grace.....)

Fri, 12/21/2012 - 11:44 | 3086855 Jay Gould Esq.
Jay Gould Esq.'s picture

Well, Doc, this means another special election -- and the irony of ironies, as Scott Brown takes his seat next to Granny in the Senate chamber.

Fri, 12/21/2012 - 11:50 | 3086901 docj
docj's picture

Oh joy, moar campaign commercials.


Fri, 12/21/2012 - 11:57 | 3086934 Buckaroo Banzai
Buckaroo Banzai's picture

For Pete's sake man, why the hell do you still live in that Godforsaken state??? MOVE.

Fri, 12/21/2012 - 12:15 | 3087021 docj
docj's picture

I've been "negotiating" with Mrs. docj for that very thing for, oh, about 9-years.

I will, eventually, win that debate, but not for some time, alas.

Fri, 12/21/2012 - 11:35 | 3086786 NuYawkFrankie
NuYawkFrankie's picture

Kerry walks into a bar...

Barman says: What's with the long face?

Fri, 12/21/2012 - 11:41 | 3086832 hedgeless_horseman
hedgeless_horseman's picture



Speaking of long faces.  A horse walks into a bar, the bartender says, "Sarah Jessica Parker, can I have your autograph!"

Fri, 12/21/2012 - 11:54 | 3086911 francis_sawyer
Fri, 12/21/2012 - 11:35 | 3086787 Inthemix96
Inthemix96's picture

Take a good look at that blokes face people.

The draft dodging fucker is exactly what the US needs right now eh?

Another no-neck who will willingly send mine and your children to die in pointless wars against brown folk for no other reason than oil and power.  If one of you good folk on here meet this shifty shirt lifter, would you do the honour of smacking the treasonistic fucker in the mouth.

What a state this whole world is in, and getting the K???  Fuck me, abandon all hope ye who enter here, Hades awaits.

Fri, 12/21/2012 - 11:52 | 3086913 CharlieSDT
CharlieSDT's picture

Didn't he go and risk his neck in Vietnam? How is he a draft dodger?

Fri, 12/21/2012 - 11:55 | 3086927 Flakmeister
Flakmeister's picture

He gets confused very easily.... He was thinking of W or maybe Cheney...

Fri, 12/21/2012 - 12:03 | 3086953 DaveyJones
DaveyJones's picture

Cheney pulled it off five times if I'm not mistaken. But remember, they all suck. We can't be where we are without a lot of sentence two

Fri, 12/21/2012 - 13:14 | 3087277 Flakmeister
Flakmeister's picture

You know that and I know that, but they are a lot of people that apparently need reminding...

Fri, 12/21/2012 - 12:03 | 3086966 Everybodys All ...
Everybodys All American's picture

You're right. When John Kerry came back from Vietnam he accused his fellow soldiers of war crimes. None were proven as far as I remember. But, it sure helped jump start his democratic career.

Fri, 12/21/2012 - 12:09 | 3086989 Buckaroo Banzai
Buckaroo Banzai's picture

He served, but did he actually risk his life? One thing we know for sure, he couldn't wait to throw his fellow servicemen under the bus the moment he was back safe on US soil. He found out a few decades later that Payback Is A Bitch.

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