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Meet Your New Secretary Of State

Tyler Durden's picture




 

As all the rumors predicted:

  • OBAMA SAID TO NOMINATE KERRY AS SECRETARY OF STATE TODAY

Time to salute Kerry, John "Swiftboat" Kerry.

In other news:

And as confirmed by Reuters:

President Barack Obama on Friday will announce his nomination of Senator John Kerry as secretary of state to succeed Hillary Clinton, senior administration officials said.

 

Kerry, chairman of the Senate Foreign Relations Committee and the Democratic presidential candidate in 2004, had been widely tipped for the post as America's top diplomat after U.N. Ambassador Susan Rice withdrew her name from consideration last week.

 

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Fri, 12/21/2012 - 13:16 | 3087283 blunderdog
blunderdog's picture

That didn't really happen, no. He said war crimes were committed, though.

And they WERE.

Still, he's just another asshole. I don't think we're any worse off than when Hil was in that gig, myself.

Fri, 12/21/2012 - 12:00 | 3086954 flattrader
flattrader's picture

Given no credit for the BCCI Investigation either.

The collective amnesia here is astounding.

The commentary often reminds of recess at a middle school.

Fri, 12/21/2012 - 12:05 | 3086970 DaveyJones
DaveyJones's picture

especially dodge ball

still though, uniforms get ripped, names get called, but someone almost always hits one home.

Fri, 12/21/2012 - 13:30 | 3087358 knukles
knukles's picture

And everybody whoops it up when an eye gets poked out.

Fri, 12/21/2012 - 12:05 | 3086972 Global Hunter
Global Hunter's picture

I would also add that he looks inbred.  As a born englishman I wonder what compels you americans to elect inbred aristocrats when 250 years ago you fought so hard to kick them out.

 

Fri, 12/21/2012 - 12:09 | 3086990 Inthemix96
Inthemix96's picture

Sorry Global Hunter,

I am an Englishman unfortunately, slowly watching this once lovely land degenerate into a third world shithole.

Mind, its not as bad here up north as it is further down the belt, but sadly it is only a matter of time mate.  And yes, if john kerry is not inbred I will eat my hat.

Fri, 12/21/2012 - 12:10 | 3087004 Buckaroo Banzai
Buckaroo Banzai's picture

Agreed. Unfortunately the Russell Trust Association is pretty good at what they do.

Fri, 12/21/2012 - 11:35 | 3086788 Seasmoke
Seasmoke's picture

Heinz must be rolling over in his grave.

Fri, 12/21/2012 - 11:36 | 3086793 TomGa
TomGa's picture

Did Kerry ever pay the taxes on his yacht?

 

So we've got a Treasury Secretary who can't figure his taxes, and now a SecState who won't pay his taxes.  Great.....

Fri, 12/21/2012 - 11:37 | 3086806 Northeaster
Northeaster's picture

Yes

Fri, 12/21/2012 - 11:39 | 3086817 Joe Davola
Joe Davola's picture

By "his" do you mean ketchups widow's?

Fri, 12/21/2012 - 11:39 | 3086827 ShrNfr
ShrNfr's picture

No, and it was made in New Zealand to boot. Of course, the yacht biz in the US was crushed a while back by a "tax the rich folks" excise tax on US made yachts. Oddly, the people who made the yachts were not millionaires.

Fri, 12/21/2012 - 12:07 | 3086984 TomGa
TomGa's picture

And, lest we forget,  a President who wants to raise your taxes.....

Fri, 12/21/2012 - 11:36 | 3086798 Northeaster
Northeaster's picture

As my Senator, the only redeeming quality of this man is that he plays hockey.

Fri, 12/21/2012 - 11:39 | 3086815 Uncle Remus
Uncle Remus's picture

As the puck?

Fri, 12/21/2012 - 11:52 | 3086914 GeezerGeek
GeezerGeek's picture

Now you've go it! He's an incredibly dumb puck!

Fri, 12/21/2012 - 11:55 | 3086925 Ms. Erable
Ms. Erable's picture

He's probably better at being a patch of ice.

Fri, 12/21/2012 - 12:09 | 3086993 Uncle Remus
Uncle Remus's picture

or a Zamboni blade...

Fri, 12/21/2012 - 11:36 | 3086802 HD
HD's picture

His first act as Secretary Of State - start immediate negotiations with the ancient Mayans.

Fri, 12/21/2012 - 11:42 | 3086842 DaveyJones
DaveyJones's picture

funny

Fri, 12/21/2012 - 11:36 | 3086804 Frozen IcQb
Frozen IcQb's picture

Is that spaghetti sauce on your shirt?

Fri, 12/21/2012 - 11:37 | 3086809 MyBrothersKeeper
MyBrothersKeeper's picture

Tyler was right when he said, this guy will bore/talk more diplomats to sleep than anyone in the history of the US.  It's actually a good spot for him as he spends about half his time in Europe as it is

Fri, 12/21/2012 - 11:38 | 3086811 Uncle Remus
Uncle Remus's picture

Is it me or is the swirling getting faster?

Fri, 12/21/2012 - 11:38 | 3086812 Cursive
Cursive's picture

Cue the made-up stories of bravery, tinged with his Boston Brahman accent....You know, I remember Vietnam...I remember being shot at, like I was the only American that the Viet Cong wanted dead and I remember saving everyone's life like I was Superman.

Fri, 12/21/2012 - 11:38 | 3086813 Mercury
Mercury's picture

All your sovereignty is belongs to the UN!

Fri, 12/21/2012 - 11:38 | 3086820 pragmatic hobo
pragmatic hobo's picture

can't be worse than hillary ...

Fri, 12/21/2012 - 11:48 | 3086852 Mercury
Mercury's picture

Well that's not true.

Plus, Hillary is starting to look like a founding father now.

http://gdb.rferl.org/44E4D00D-F187-424A-B7F2-5A2EE0FB42A6_mw1024_n_s.jpg

http://media1.policymic.com/site/articles/18487/photo.jpg

Fri, 12/21/2012 - 11:56 | 3086930 GeezerGeek
GeezerGeek's picture

Now if only she had their wisdom.

Fri, 12/21/2012 - 11:39 | 3086823 Miss Expectations
Miss Expectations's picture

"Blessed is he who expects nothing, for he shall never be disappointed."

Jonathan Swift

Fri, 12/21/2012 - 11:39 | 3086824 Jayda1850
Jayda1850's picture

I'll be patiently waiting for kerry to berating obama genghis khan for all his drone attacks like he did his fellow soldiers, but I'm sure to be disappointed. What a fucking hypocrite! Obama is committing more war crimes than any of our soldiers in Vietnam.

Fri, 12/21/2012 - 11:58 | 3086941 GeezerGeek
GeezerGeek's picture

But slaughtering children in other countries is only collateral damage. And Hellfire missiles are not 'assault weapons', after all.

Fri, 12/21/2012 - 11:39 | 3086825 buzzsaw99
buzzsaw99's picture

he has a nice fake smile he would be perfect

Fri, 12/21/2012 - 11:40 | 3086830 nonclaim
nonclaim's picture

Nation rejoiced as ketchup ration will be increased to 25g.

Fri, 12/21/2012 - 11:40 | 3086831 Global Hunter
Global Hunter's picture

what happened to Hittlery...why have they pushed her out for this big headed inbred guy.

Fri, 12/21/2012 - 11:44 | 3086859 DaveyJones
DaveyJones's picture

"big headed inbred guy" Oh, I thought you were talking about her. 

Fri, 12/21/2012 - 11:40 | 3086834 Green Horse
Green Horse's picture

Why not? Hillary had sh*t qualifications too. Come to think of it most of our pols don't have... Oh yeah, I forgot how things work for a sec, there. Sorry.

Fri, 12/21/2012 - 11:47 | 3086878 the grateful un...
the grateful unemployed's picture

they parked HC to keep her from getting in the presidential race 2012. and she's a hawk on Iran, and SOS is just part of DOD now (think bureau of propaganda and threats)

Fri, 12/21/2012 - 14:29 | 3086907 DaveyJones
DaveyJones's picture

and the deal was probably always a one term trade to get her to drop her presidential run. He never really wanted her. Who would?  

and Kerry's pick is to play both hawk and dove simultaneously.

Typical Obama, the ultimate politician, Stands for nothing (except more debt, bigger corporations, and greater enemies) 

Fri, 12/21/2012 - 11:41 | 3086835 Stonedog
Stonedog's picture

Oh for fuck's sake!  THis bunch keeps getting worse and worse...

Fri, 12/21/2012 - 11:45 | 3086867 the grateful un...
the grateful unemployed's picture

i tried to tell em, if you don't like bush, wait till you see the next guy

Fri, 12/21/2012 - 11:51 | 3086910 DaveyJones
DaveyJones's picture

keep repeating this phrase till the place lies in ruin

Fri, 12/21/2012 - 11:41 | 3086837 Rathmullan
Rathmullan's picture

just think of all the tax dodges the aging "heinz kept" cabana boy can erangle out of the position!

Fri, 12/21/2012 - 11:42 | 3086841 TSA gropee
TSA gropee's picture

What's with his left eye? Is this a lame attempt at an eye of Horus salute?

Fri, 12/21/2012 - 11:43 | 3086857 the grateful un...
the grateful unemployed's picture

too much botox (no seriously the mans face has no more human expression left)

Fri, 12/21/2012 - 11:49 | 3086900 TSA gropee
TSA gropee's picture

Zombie? MK reject? McRib sandwich eater?

Fri, 12/21/2012 - 11:57 | 3086932 DaveyJones
DaveyJones's picture

a window to the soul

Fri, 12/21/2012 - 11:42 | 3086843 the grateful un...
the grateful unemployed's picture

since bush 2000 the SOS has been the job for dead-enders, remember colin powell repeating the propaganda about wmds at the un? if you're  lucky the lies on the paper they hand you to read won't make you look like too much of a fool. (susan rice got caught up in it too). the real secretary of state is flying at 20000 feet, remote controlled by the guys in the wh. you want diplomacy, we got your diplomacy hanging.

Fri, 12/21/2012 - 11:43 | 3086849 Pairadimes
Pairadimes's picture

Can we at least get him cleared medically, to make sure that he is also not prone to 'concussions'?

Fri, 12/21/2012 - 11:51 | 3086903 the grateful un...
the grateful unemployed's picture

funny how politicians have trouble staying on their feet. well just tie a mattress to their back (old joke)

Fri, 12/21/2012 - 11:42 | 3086850 Mr. Hudson
Mr. Hudson's picture

Here is an interesting bit of info. After the 2004 election, I watched Bill O’Reilly interview John Kerry and they were discussing America’s dependence on foreign oil. O’Reilly asked Kerry “Why hasn’t Congress passed legislation that will allow Americans to run their cars on alternative fuels?” Kerry responded that it was because every politician in D.C. had taken bribes from the oil companies, including himself, to keep America dependent on oil. I cannot find the video on the net of this interview, and the official written transcript on FOX News has this part of the interview removed.  Yet, Kerry admitted that he took bribes, and the oil companies made that interview disappear forever.

Fri, 12/21/2012 - 11:58 | 3086940 Flakmeister
Flakmeister's picture

Maybe because a good part of it was in your imagination....

Fri, 12/21/2012 - 12:22 | 3087028 DaveyJones
DaveyJones's picture

for what it's worth (shit, at least he admitted it):

Bill O’Reilly Gets John Kerry to Admit an Extremely Inconvenient Truth

Posted by Noel Sheppard on July 1, 2006 - 20:51.

In the past two years, as oil and gasoline prices have moved to record highs threatening to strangle the American economy, the media have blamed it all on the current Administration in the White House. Or on Hurricane Katrina. Or Iraq. Or Iran. Or a strike in Nigeria. However, on Thursday, Fox News’s Bill O’Reilly got Sen. John Kerry (D-Massachusetts) to admit that the nation’s energy problems are caused by government’s inaction for decades, and that both parties are to blame (extremely grateful hat tip to Ian at Expose the Left with a video link to follow).

Certainly, this was an inconvenient truth for a former presidential candidate who blamed all the world’s problems on President Bush during the 2004 campaign to admit on national television. But, he didn’t give this up easily. In fact, at first, he did blame it on guess who?

O’Reilly began this part of the discussion:

“You and Al Gore, big environmental guys. And I'm a big environmental guy. OK? So I'm seeing Gore and Kerry. Here they are, decades in the Senate, and I'm seeing Brazil have ethanol for all its automobiles starting next year. And I'm seeing the United States not even close to having ethanol for automobiles. I'm going, ‘How come Gore and Kerry didn't get us ethanol?’ How come?”

After Kerry stated that he voted for ethanol whenever it came up in the Senate, O’Reilly asked, “Why didn’t it happen?” Kerry said, “Because the president’s energy policy…” O’Reilly asked, “Is this President Clinton?” Kerry said, “This is President Bush.” That’s when it got really interesting:

O'REILLY: What about President Clinton? He was in eight years.

KERRY: You're right, he was in for eight years and not enough was done during that period of time. We're trying to shift it.

O'REILLY: So you've been green and Gore's been green, but the bottom line is you guys couldn't get it done.

At this point, it was quite apparent that Kerry was uncomfortable. But, O’Reilly smelled blood in the water, and moved in for the kill:

O’REILLY: The oil companies buy -- do they buy influence here? I mean, how can -- how can the Congress, knowing Hugo Chavez, knowing the oil sheiks, knowing the environmental damage -- everybody knows that. There's no debate over any of that. How can they, year in and year out, not pursue grass-based, cow manure-based ethanol? Does that -- do the oil companies bribe them? What happens?

KERRY: They have seen their interests, their business interests in very narrow terms, and they have fought to protect their business interests within the halls of Congress...

O'REILLY: What does that mean? I don't know what that means. Do the oil companies give campaign money?

KERRY: Sure.

O'REILLY: So you're telling me they're bought?

KERRY: No. They give them campaign money. The entire political system in America is overly dependent on campaign contributions.

At this point, you could just feel that this was moving towards a truly delicious conclusion…and it did:

O'REILLY: If it's better for every one of us not to be oil dependent, every single American, in 30 years the Congress could not, or would not, make it happen. You're telling me that the Congress sold us out and so did four presidents. You have to arrive at that conclusion.

KERRY: I believe the American people have been sold short by the United States Congress with respect to the energy future of our country. Yes. And it is regrettable, because millions of jobs have been lost. Our security has been put at risk.

The United States' technological lead in those areas has been set back. Our health has been set back. The environment has been set back. The overall security interests of our nation have not been well served.

O'REILLY: Both parties at fault, right?

KERRY: Both parties at fault.

Touchdown! Finally, someone got one of these greenies that are in office to admit that this is a problem that began 30 years ago, and has been ignored by both political parties. Of course, Kerry wouldn’t say this when being interviewed by the three broadcast networks, or CNN, because it doesn’t fit their agenda to ask. And, unfortunately, if another series of major hurricanes hits the Gulf Coast this summer, or there’s a strike in Nigeria, and gas prices head to $4 a gallon, you can bet that these liberal outlets will report that it’s all President Bush’s fault.

Moreover, when someone like ABC’s George Stephanopoulos, or CBS’s Bob Schieffer asks Sen. Kerry why gas is up again, and he blames on it this Administration, or the Republican congress, you can rest assured that they won’t say, “But, when you were on with Bill O’Reilly a few months ago…”

What follows is the full transcript of this segment, along with a video link. This discussion begins seven minutes and fifteen seconds in.

O'REILLY: All right. You're a big environmental guy, right?

KERRY: Yes, sir.

O'REILLY: You and Al Gore, big environmental guys. And I'm a big environmental guy. OK? So I'm seeing Gore and Kerry. Here they are, decades in the Senate, and I'm seeing Brazil have ethanol for all its automobiles starting next year. And I'm seeing the United States not even close to having ethanol for automobiles. I'm going, "How come Gore and Kerry didn't get us ethanol?" How come?

KERRY: Actually, I did vote for ethanol. Every time we've had a chance to vote for it on the floor I vote for ethanol.

O'REILLY: Why didn't it happen?

KERRY: Because the president's energy policy...

O'REILLY: Is this President Clinton?

KERRY: This is President Bush.

O'REILLY: What about President Clinton? He was in eight years.

KERRY: You're right, he was in for eight years and not enough was done during that period of time. We're trying to shift it.

O'REILLY: So you've been green and Gore's been green, but the bottom line is you guys couldn't get it done. Clinton didn't lead. Bush isn't leading now, although he says he is. I don't know what he's doing.

But this is important to people watching. The oil companies buy -- do they buy influence here? I mean, how can -- how can the Congress, knowing Hugo Chavez, knowing the oil sheiks, knowing the environmental damage -- everybody knows that. There's no debate over any of that. How can they, year in and year out, not pursue grass-based, cow manure-based ethanol? Does that -- do the oil companies bribe them? What happens?

KERRY: They have seen their interests, their business interests in very narrow terms, and they have fought to protect their business interests within the halls of Congress...

O'REILLY: What does that mean? I don't know what that means. Do the oil companies give campaign money?

KERRY: Sure.

O'REILLY: So you're telling me they're bought?

KERRY: No. They give them campaign money. The entire political system in America is overly dependent on campaign contributions.

O'REILLY: If it's better for every one of us not to be oil dependent, every single American, in 30 years the Congress could not, or would not, make it happen. You're telling me that the Congress sold us out and so did four presidents. You have to arrive at that conclusion.

KERRY: I believe the American people have been sold short by the United States Congress with respect to the energy future of our country. Yes. And it is regrettable, because millions of jobs have been lost. Our security has been put at risk.

The United States' technological lead in those areas has been set back. Our health has been set back. The environment has been set back. The overall security interests of our nation have not been well served.

O'REILLY: Both parties at fault, right?

KERRY: Both parties at fault. Not sure, in the end which man in that room won. Like two whores arguing over who's got the better pimp 

Fri, 12/21/2012 - 13:26 | 3087322 Flakmeister
Flakmeister's picture

Wasn't aware...

But we also know that:

Corn-to-Ethanol is a fiasco and short of economic collapse or strict rationing the US will never be self sufficient in oil... 

And in 2004 on  the inability of the market supply more oil as demand rose is not mentioned...

So, the interview is incredibly content free, i.e. it otherwise states the bleeding obvious...

I also note that the word bribe was not utilized...

Fri, 12/21/2012 - 16:13 | 3087363 DaveyJones
DaveyJones's picture

Yes, the corn to ethanol farce is just more "proof" that no matter what "energy" source we officially turn to, this place (meaning both parties) are so goddamn corrupt, that it will make no sense at all and, like our new "health care" be the result of criminal negotiations amongst powerful market controlling players.

Fri, 12/21/2012 - 13:08 | 3087244 SanOvaBeach
SanOvaBeach's picture

Mr. Hudson,

I'm really sorry you belived all those fairy tales your mommie told you about the world.  The world is a nasty place, full of crooks, a-holes (me) and generally bad people.  I take bribes all the time and love it!  So do the city inspectors, purchasing agents, appraisal guys, you name it.  Is this a fucking revalation from God that maybe Kerry took one!  I'm shocked, just shocked!  Hold my call from Corizone till I'm finished....

Fri, 12/21/2012 - 11:43 | 3086856 dexter_morgan
dexter_morgan's picture

Does he have a glass eye (left one)? Old war injury?

Fri, 12/21/2012 - 11:50 | 3086905 saints51
saints51's picture

yes. If you look close you can see the pyramid.

Fri, 12/21/2012 - 11:46 | 3086865 Dr. Engali
Dr. Engali's picture

So he got to be senator after throwing another person's medals over a wall and secratary of state by throwing somebody else under the bus.

Fri, 12/21/2012 - 11:48 | 3086877 dexter_morgan
dexter_morgan's picture

He shoulda been a pitcher!

Fri, 12/21/2012 - 13:09 | 3087253 SanOvaBeach
SanOvaBeach's picture

And you forgot.  Bribe taking, right!

Fri, 12/21/2012 - 13:10 | 3087254 XitSam
XitSam's picture

I never understood throwing the medals away except for symbolism.  It isn't the physical medal that counts. What matters is the orders awarding the medal. He is still awarded the medal in his military records.

Fri, 12/21/2012 - 11:45 | 3086866 crzyhun
crzyhun's picture

The Ruskies, Chies and NK's among others will eat 'im for lunch with ketchup.

Fri, 12/21/2012 - 11:46 | 3086869 Colonel
Colonel's picture

All Obozo has to do now is find a cabinet position for Al Gore and the cluster fuck will be complete.

Fri, 12/21/2012 - 11:47 | 3086870 The Gooch
The Gooch's picture

and... BEN FUCKING AFFLECK is going to make a run for his senate seat?

http://washingtonexaminer.com/speakeasy-could-ben-affleck-replace-sen.-j...

Glad I took the day off to watch this shit show.

Irish coffee, bitchez.

 

Fri, 12/21/2012 - 13:09 | 3087252 dexter_morgan
dexter_morgan's picture

Well, maybe he can appoint Damon to some post there too. Keep the team together.

Fri, 12/21/2012 - 11:47 | 3086871 zilverreiger
zilverreiger's picture

well, At least it's not john mccain!

Fri, 12/21/2012 - 11:49 | 3086888 dexter_morgan
dexter_morgan's picture

that NDAA bastard. What happens to these guys when they go to DC anyways?

Fri, 12/21/2012 - 11:48 | 3086892 the grateful un...
the grateful unemployed's picture

mccain was considered too liberal

Fri, 12/21/2012 - 11:47 | 3086872 Fix It Again Timmy
Fix It Again Timmy's picture

Out of 310 million people, this is the best we could do?  Seriously, there is no hope - we're doomed....

Fri, 12/21/2012 - 11:48 | 3086881 bigwavedave
bigwavedave's picture

Im tired of this. JK is qualified and most of the house will agree. Why drive wedges between the differences?

Fri, 12/21/2012 - 11:54 | 3086920 the grateful un...
the grateful unemployed's picture

qualified for what?

Fri, 12/21/2012 - 11:58 | 3086939 AndrewJackson
AndrewJackson's picture

Qualified to serve his nwo/bank masters.

Fri, 12/21/2012 - 11:59 | 3086945 bigwavedave
bigwavedave's picture

Qualified to be Secretary of State in a Democratic Administration you fucking MORON

Fri, 12/21/2012 - 12:07 | 3086981 the grateful un...
the grateful unemployed's picture

then we have some confusion because the new secretary of state is the old department of war, (FDR) and the DOD is the new secretary of state, and the new ambassadors are the old Blackwater, and the new CIA is made up of our old ambassadors. 

Fri, 12/21/2012 - 11:48 | 3086882 IridiumRebel
IridiumRebel's picture

REPORTING FOR DUTY

Fri, 12/21/2012 - 11:48 | 3086886 Frank N. Beans
Frank N. Beans's picture

his face is melting

Fri, 12/21/2012 - 11:48 | 3086890 Frastric
Frastric's picture

Hey... Kerry! Leave those states alone!

Fri, 12/21/2012 - 11:53 | 3086894 Green Horse
Green Horse's picture

Ready to get more Americans (edit: should read "all sorts of people", need to remember to think globally now) killed for no reason in 3...2...

My wife and i just discussed a few nights ago the possibility that our cute little girl might someday be pressed into the service for another war. Remember, girls can do anything boys can! This guy is in now, and the thought is even more chilling.

Fri, 12/21/2012 - 11:51 | 3086906 Shizzmoney
Shizzmoney's picture

John Kerry has been long anti-war.

We will see if he has any balls when the Syria and Israel-Iran conflict comes to ahead next year.

I have my doubts.

Fri, 12/21/2012 - 12:01 | 3086947 Ms. Erable
Ms. Erable's picture

Was that before he was pro-war?

Fri, 12/21/2012 - 12:02 | 3086956 the grateful un...
the grateful unemployed's picture

he was antiwar for an instant, he work up in the middle of the night, had an idea that war is bad, laughed about and went back to sleep.

Fri, 12/21/2012 - 11:59 | 3086949 the grateful un...
the grateful unemployed's picture

of course you have your doubts, if you were listening, he was going to do the IRAQ WAR better than BUSH was doing it, he wasn't interested in stopping it, he didn't care if it was wrong in the first instance, he just wanted to DO IT BETTER. there are no more antiwar candidates (eugene macarthy RIP.. ahh remember when college students could think?)

Fri, 12/21/2012 - 13:24 | 3087015 tickhound
tickhound's picture

So was Obama, so was Hillary, so was no nation-building/no-policing Bush and the Korean & Vietnam War elected Republican Party of the past......

Anti-War is something you claim when you need to hide and distract from a PRO-GROWTH agenda.

Fri, 12/21/2012 - 11:54 | 3086916 Northeaster
Northeaster's picture

Kerry is a "Plutocrats Plutocrat", along with the benefit of legal insider trading:

http://www.opensecrets.org/politicians/contrib.php?cycle=2012&cid=N00000...

http://pfds.opensecrets.org/N00000245_2010.pdf

Fri, 12/21/2012 - 11:53 | 3086918 dwdollar
dwdollar's picture

Secretary of State AKA UN agenda enforcement Czar

Fri, 12/21/2012 - 11:54 | 3086919 bigwavedave
bigwavedave's picture

ZH jumps the shark if you think JK is not qualified to be SOS. This is the highpoint then for the fringe blog that could. I cant play along any longer. Buy silver and guns. Do nothing but moan. 

Fri, 12/21/2012 - 12:17 | 3087034 Toolshed
Toolshed's picture

So......why are you here? Go back to Fox News and be happy!

Fri, 12/21/2012 - 13:05 | 3087236 dexter_morgan
dexter_morgan's picture

How is he qualified? Still breathing?

Fri, 12/21/2012 - 11:55 | 3086922 Atlantis Consigliore
Atlantis Consigliore's picture

Swifty Kerry;  exit stage left run as fast as possible with Beghazi headache, I know NOTHING, Hillary, ( I did not have sex)  run run RUN....RUN Hillary ....runnnnnn.

Fri, 12/21/2012 - 11:56 | 3086929 the grateful un...
the grateful unemployed's picture

still not sure what susan rice did wrong, (other then repeating bad intelligence, and that didn't bother bush much)

Fri, 12/21/2012 - 15:19 | 3087828 dexter_morgan
dexter_morgan's picture

Ethiopia?

Fri, 12/21/2012 - 11:59 | 3086944 BringingTheRukus
BringingTheRukus's picture

Purple Hearts for everyone!

Fri, 12/21/2012 - 12:00 | 3086952 Magnum
Magnum's picture

He has obviously proven loyalty to israel. Chuck Hagel of Sec of Defense meanwhile has the aipac israel-firster crowd squealing endlessly because he's on record as saying he is loyal to America first not israel.  Now the zog media has dug up a Hagel anti-gay quote from the 1990s just do a google search for his name.

Fri, 12/21/2012 - 12:03 | 3086963 JennifersBody
JennifersBody's picture

Our current Secty of State is now harder to find that OBL was.

Fri, 12/21/2012 - 12:05 | 3086979 Uncle Remus
Uncle Remus's picture

There's a cave joke hiding in there somehwere...

Fri, 12/21/2012 - 12:04 | 3086975 Uncle Remus
Uncle Remus's picture

Suicide of the Republic. No, it is NOT painless.

Fri, 12/21/2012 - 12:07 | 3086982 Rusty Diggins
Rusty Diggins's picture

Rip Van Ketchup-Winkle

Fri, 12/21/2012 - 12:07 | 3086985 overmedicatedun...
overmedicatedundersexed's picture

the man vividly remembers his boat far up the mekong into cambodia, where he met marlon brando and the smell of napalm while working for the cia  or some such drug induced hallucinations..he's reptile thru and thru. any rich widows near him are in danger. if this dick was in the 101st his injuries would have required more than bandaids.d

fragging what's for breakfast. bro's

Fri, 12/21/2012 - 12:11 | 3087007 Uncle Remus
Uncle Remus's picture

fragapolooza

Fri, 12/21/2012 - 12:10 | 3086999 TrumpXVI
TrumpXVI's picture

Yaaay!

Oh, wait, BOOooooooooo!!

Fri, 12/21/2012 - 12:10 | 3087003 trichotil
trichotil's picture

nee jonah cohen.

gee why would he change his name?!?

Fri, 12/21/2012 - 12:13 | 3087017 redeals
redeals's picture

The rest of the world needs a good laugh at Christmas time. Christmas cheer and all that.

Too bad the joke is on the US

Fri, 12/21/2012 - 12:14 | 3087022 Canucklehead
Fri, 12/21/2012 - 12:15 | 3087027 johnjkiii
johnjkiii's picture

I hear Hillarious will give him her clothes and hairdresser as a going away present.

Fri, 12/21/2012 - 12:15 | 3087029 therearetoomany...
therearetoomanyidiots's picture

You mean John Kerry, the devout democratic MILLIONAIRE (well, his wife's millions) who holds so dear the idea of taxation of the little guy?   That john kerry?  

The guy that docked his million dollar yacht in Newport to avoid Massachusettes' excessive tax rates?   THAT john kerry?

Who pissed all over the Army and threw his service metals over the white house fence, oh wait, he didn't do that but  encouraged others to...

THAT John Kerry?

Fri, 12/21/2012 - 12:26 | 3087073 ShrNfr
ShrNfr's picture

You forgot, he also filed his taxes as "married filing seperately" so he would not have his wife's financial interests exposed when he ran for present dunce.

Fri, 12/21/2012 - 13:03 | 3087228 therearetoomany...
therearetoomanyidiots's picture

I was remiss...thank you

Fri, 12/21/2012 - 12:21 | 3087044 sbenard
sbenard's picture

God help us!

When the wicked rule, the people mourn!

Fri, 12/21/2012 - 12:20 | 3087051 madcows
madcows's picture

Tax Cheat!  Tax Cheat! Tax Cheat! Tax Cheat! Tax Cheat!

Maybe he'll get shot while on a mission to the middle east.

Well, at leasst now Scott Brown can run for his senate seat in a special election.

 

Fri, 12/21/2012 - 12:32 | 3087089 therearetoomany...
therearetoomanyidiots's picture

...and lose to a self-proclaimed victim class individual because MA residents are just that stupid

Fri, 12/21/2012 - 15:33 | 3087874 dexter_morgan
dexter_morgan's picture

FauxCohantas II

Fri, 12/21/2012 - 12:26 | 3087072 Duke Dog
Duke Dog's picture

Where does ZH get these wonderful pictures of our great leaders? - beautiful aren't they? Kerry looks like he's beyond slobbering drunk!

Fri, 12/21/2012 - 12:27 | 3087076 mike904
mike904's picture

John kerry has a good sized piece of Russian manufactured, gook delivered lead in his ass. I'll bet most of the people who criticize him haven't even been in a good argument much less a war. 

Fri, 12/21/2012 - 12:35 | 3087093 redeals
redeals's picture

Too bad it wasn't a bit higher.

Fri, 12/21/2012 - 12:40 | 3087121 TWSceptic
TWSceptic's picture

Fuck your 'good arguments' and fuck war.

Fri, 12/21/2012 - 13:02 | 3087222 dexter_morgan
dexter_morgan's picture

He should dig it out then, sell it, and pay his fucking taxes.

Fri, 12/21/2012 - 13:11 | 3087263 Canucklehead
Canucklehead's picture

http://www.snopes.com/politics/kerry/service.asp

Kerry took two mosquito bites to the arm and one to the leg.  By earning 3 quick purple hearts he was able to head home and run for congress.

Fri, 12/21/2012 - 13:15 | 3087281 Ricky Bobby
Ricky Bobby's picture

Troll count for this thread is 5, certain officials are most favored. I wonder why?

Fri, 12/21/2012 - 12:28 | 3087080 OneTinSoldier66
OneTinSoldier66's picture

I bought the rumor, wish I could sell the fact.

Fri, 12/21/2012 - 12:40 | 3087125 the not so migh...
the not so mighty maximiza's picture

They use corn syrup in that kethcup..fuck you Heinz.

Fri, 12/21/2012 - 12:44 | 3087140 notadouche
notadouche's picture

Any truth to the rumor that his swearing in will be delayed in order for him to wrap up his first movie role as he plays the lead in the biography of Herman Munster?  

Fri, 12/21/2012 - 12:55 | 3087197 B2u
B2u's picture

Why the long face?  Kerry should be happy?

Fri, 12/21/2012 - 13:05 | 3087237 Quantum Nucleonics
Quantum Nucleonics's picture

What a tool.  But really, it's better than Susan Rice.  Her diplomatic incompetence while running the Africa desk under Clinton is/was breathtaking.  She is arguably, single-handedly responsible for the Eritrean-Ethiopian war, that's 70,000 corpses on her conscience.  She had a big hand in the failure to respond to the Rwanda genocide too.

Poor Kerry will soon realize he gave up his Senate seat to be a figurehead.  From what I understand, Team Obama's foreign policy is run, as are most things, from Valerie Jarrett's office.

Fri, 12/21/2012 - 13:08 | 3087241 notadouche
notadouche's picture

Every where he goes he is a giant figureHEAD.

Fri, 12/21/2012 - 13:11 | 3087267 icanhasbailout
icanhasbailout's picture

He will fit in well with Holder, Napolitano, Clinton and Geithner in the perfect hypocrite club.

Fri, 12/21/2012 - 13:14 | 3087273 falak pema
falak pema's picture

the question is : what will be Obammy's foreign policy this guy will implement.

Nobel peace prize for Iran invasion? 

Fri, 12/21/2012 - 13:16 | 3087282 Joebloinvestor
Joebloinvestor's picture

Does a revolving door ever slam shut?

Fri, 12/21/2012 - 13:20 | 3087305 JR
JR's picture

What are the many consequences for the re-election of Barack Obama? One is John Kerry; a Leftist, of course, but a hands down committed radical.

Here are some of John Kerry more left-leaning positions as summarized by OnTheIssues.

Strongly Favors  Abortion is a woman's right
Strongly Favors Require hiring more women & minorities
Strongly Favors Same-sex domestic partnership benefits
Strongly Opposes Teacher-led prayer in public schools

Strongly Opposes Mandatory Three Strikes sentencing laws
Strongly Opposes Absolute right to gun ownership
Strongly Favors More federal funding for health coverage
Strongly Opposes Parents choose schools via vouchers
Strongly Favors Make taxes more progressive
Strongly Favors Illegal immigrants earn citizenship*
http://www.ontheissues.org/john_kerry.htm

*Here is an example of how OnTheIssues scored Kerry’s positions, here using Kerry’s positions  to score him as Strongly Favors topic 12: Illegal immigrants earn citizenship:

Temporary workers ok, and earned amnesty ok: Strongly Favors topic 12
Restore immigrant benefits lost in 1996 welfare reform: Strongly Favors topic 12
Earned legalization for undocumented immigrants: Favors topic 12
Amnesty to anyone here over 5 or 6 years: Strongly Favors topic 12
Comprehensive immigration reform without amnesty: Strongly Favors topic 12
Cover child resident aliens under Medicaid and SCHIP: Favors topic 12
Rated 0% by USBC, indicating an open-border stance: Strongly Favors topic 12
YES on continuing federal funds for declared "sanctuary cities": Strongly Favors topic 12
NO on limit welfare for immigrants: Strongly Favors topic 12
NO on visas for skilled workers: Opposes topic 12
NO on allowing more foreign workers into the US for farm work: Opposes topic 12
YES on allowing illegal aliens to participate in Social Security: Strongly Favors topic 12
YES on giving Guest Workers a path to citizenship: Strongly Favors topic 12
YES on establishing a Guest Worker program: Favors topic 12
NO on building a fence along the Mexican border: Strongly Favors topic 12
NO on eliminating the "Y" nonimmigrant guestworker program: Neutral topic 12
NO on declaring English as the official language of the US government: Strongly Favors topic 12
YES on comprehensive immigration reform: Strongly Favors topic 12

Fri, 12/21/2012 - 15:20 | 3087802 dexter_morgan
dexter_morgan's picture

Are you talking about the POTUS or Kerry here? Or both. Could probably throw McCain in there too with some nuanced answers like mildy oppose, sort of favors , depend on if election year or not, stuff. That's the problem with one party rule.

You know what, one guy that you could NOT tag most of these on was good old Ron Paul. But, he's a whack job as the MSM points out every chance they get.

Fri, 12/21/2012 - 20:29 | 3088864 JR
JR's picture

Kerry. OnTheIssues has them all; it's a great site. And I agree about Ron Paul. What a different future we could be looking forward to under Paul's leadership.

Fri, 12/21/2012 - 13:30 | 3087357 The Joker
The Joker's picture

Can somebody tell me what kind of a world we live in, where the snow miser can actually become the Secretary of State?  D.C. needs an enema!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hGRkNaMFp6w

Fri, 12/21/2012 - 13:33 | 3087365 YouThePeople
YouThePeople's picture

Caption: "Herman Munster here, reporting for duty"(cue Herman's goofy laugh)

Fri, 12/21/2012 - 13:39 | 3087385 pine_marten
pine_marten's picture

If it was not Kerry it would have been some other pyschopathic corrupt traitorous douche bag...........

Fri, 12/21/2012 - 13:46 | 3087414 toomanyfakecons...
toomanyfakeconservatives's picture

...and the recycled politician of the year award goes to.... Kerry!

Fri, 12/21/2012 - 13:50 | 3087431 BlackBart41
BlackBart41's picture

The only thing worse than Kerry as Secretary of State would have been Kerry as Secretary of Defense.

Fri, 12/21/2012 - 13:55 | 3087453 the grateful un...
the grateful unemployed's picture

yes but in complete bizarro thinking what about Kerry as President (remember Bush?) see that's okay

Fri, 12/21/2012 - 14:05 | 3087498 q99x2
q99x2's picture

You can trace this guys name back to doing business in the East Indies and the Forbes family. Things never change. We have the same Kings and Queens ruling us as back then. But since way back then genetic mutations have produced...well mutants like Kerry.

Fri, 12/21/2012 - 16:12 | 3088011 Clowns on Acid
Clowns on Acid's picture

Ummm...no...his real surname is Kohn, chnaged to Kerry at the grandparent level I do believe. He is not Irish (as he always marketed himslef in Boston) nor English.

 

Fri, 12/21/2012 - 23:21 | 3089224 blunderdog
blunderdog's picture

Fuck Kerry for all kinds of fine reasons, but remember: this is America.  Every man has every right to create himself.  If your dead family is of primary importance to you, you're obviously not much of anything yourself. 

Everyone here should be judged for what they are and what they've done.  No kings.

(If I had to, I'd bet you're not even a real clown.  And I'm *certain* you have no acid.)

Fri, 12/21/2012 - 14:16 | 3087532 roadhazard
roadhazard's picture

Kerry is a clown among clowns. Having said that, with all the Department openings still unfilled from Obama's first term if I were Obama I would nominate nothing but wingers to fill posts so that the other wingers could label them RINO's and trash themselves. heh

Fri, 12/21/2012 - 15:12 | 3087800 Chewybunny
Chewybunny's picture

So the Apocalypse did come after all.

Fri, 12/21/2012 - 15:12 | 3087801 Chewybunny
Chewybunny's picture

So the Apocalypse did come after all.

Fri, 12/21/2012 - 16:10 | 3088005 Clowns on Acid
Clowns on Acid's picture

When is the flag burning ceremony for Kerry's swearing in?

Fri, 12/21/2012 - 16:18 | 3088039 robertocarlos
robertocarlos's picture

He is a loser. WTF happened to Hitlery? I thought she was doing OK. Guess she needs 4 years to prep for her new job.

Fri, 12/21/2012 - 16:58 | 3088201 bankerbackbacon
bankerbackbacon's picture

Skull and Bones anybody?

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