It Is Five Time More Difficult To Get An Attendant Job At Delta Airlines Than Enter Harvard

Tyler Durden's picture

There is a reason why the monthly BLS JOLTS jobs supply/demand survey - which supposedly shows an "improving" labor picture because more people are willingly leaving their (temporary) jobs, and there are more job openings - is so laughable it is not even worth reporting. The reason is the following: practical, non-massaged reality, such as this report confirming how great the demand for any real job openings is. According to Bloomberg Delta, the world’s second-largest carrier, received 22,000 applications for about 300 flight attendant jobs in the first week after posting the positions outside the company. The applications arrived at a rate of two per minute, Chief Executive Officer Richard Anderson told workers in a weekly recorded message. Applicants will be interviewed in January and those hired will begin flying in June, for the peak travel season. Said otherwise, the previous few lucky hires will have overcome an acceptance ratio of 1.3%. Putting this into perspective, the acceptance ratio at Harvard, the lowest of any university, is 5.9%. In other words, it is 4.5x easier to enter Harvard than to get a job at Delta. As an attendant. And there is your jobs supply-demand reality in one snapshot.

The good news? This is actually an improvement from 2 years ago, when the Atlanta-based carrier received 100,000 applications for 1,000 jobs when it last hired flight attendants in October 2010.

But wait there is hope: a spokeswoman, said it could reach 400, pushing the acceptance ratio to a whopping 1.8%. All the successful applicants will need to do is speak Japanese, Hindi, Mandarin or Portuguese.

And now back to your Orwellian reality where the unemployment rate is falling, and there is absolutely no secular mismtach between job skills and demands in today's centrally-planned economy.

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chaartist's picture

One volcano and even these superhero attendants will be at McDonald.

Texas Ginslinger's picture

It Is Five Time More Difficult To Get An Attendant Job At Delta Airlines Than Enter Harvard

No surprise there.  Delta costs go up when they hire more employees.

Harvard's income goes up when they accept more students.

Fukushima Sam's picture

Jobs that don't demand any real skills have lots of applicants without any real skills.  Jobs that demand real skills have a dearth of applicants with those actual skills.

ArmyofOne's picture

Depends on how you define skills.  Putting up with fat drunkin arrogant piss pots for 2-8 hours is a skill all on its own.  Try it before you deride it. 

Midas's picture

Copy that.  I could do many jobs, but the way my brother describes doing tech support on the phone with idjits on the other end sounds like hell on earth.

What does it all mean's picture

This is misleading...  It is thousands times more likely to be shot by a random shooter than getting a job at Delta.  (How many Attendants are there total...)  

Just because it is rare, doesn't meant that it is desired.... 

AldousHuxley's picture

Harvard you have to compete to get in AND you have to pay $200k in tuition with no ROI guarantee

For idiots like George Bush to get in Bush senior had to donate millions to the Harvard Corp. hedge fund meaning true market value of Harvard is in millions for the exclusivity status + credential factor.

 

At Delta, they pay you to be a drink server. I don't think they carry the same prestige.

Fluffybunny's picture

A better comparison would be Stockholm School of Economics which is free for all EU citizens and is one of the top business schools in Europe (especially Finance). They have an acceptance ratio of ~5%.

BattlegroundEurope2011's picture

Money well spent by the Europeans then.

 

/sarc off

Careless Whisper's picture

With so many applications, you'd think Delta could hire 300 flight attendants that actually look like that pic up there.  ^

 

r3phl0x's picture

With the fattening of Murica, attractive women are increasingly scarce and valuable - they do not have to work as flight attendants anymore. They're recession-proof.

GetZeeGold's picture

 

 

You want a Coke? Then go get it yourself.....I'm a little busy over here.

Freddie's picture

In Amerika - we have The Stockholm Syndrome filled with Democreep voters.

All Risk No Reward's picture

"Stockholm Syndrome School of Economics."

There, fixed that for ya.

LasVegasDave's picture

Still hung up on W?

Life hasnt been to kind to you has it?

oh, what the hell, blame it on the Joos

WTFx10's picture

Try doing tech support for losers with Information Technology degrees. Very depressing when you are a HS grad helping the bachelors and masters to do their fucking job when they are making 20% more than you.

But as the ones above us allways remind us.

"Life ain't fair"

 

Guns don't kill banksters, Debt slaves kill Banksters.

When you outlaw guns only criminals will have guns. How many Banksters went to Jail again? "Life ain't fair"

sorry for getting off topic

CPL's picture

The people that have invested time and money into certifications get 20-80% more than the tech support guy, because you don't pay the tech support in the office to know a specialization...until they've made it past their 5th year and progressed to Lan Admin, Junior Analyst, Asset Manager, Junior PM, Career programmer, Product Manager, Junior Sales Engineer.  If you are stuck on the phones and moving desktops, it sounds like you need to ask for more responsibility then.  Sounds like you are bored but it's coming out as edgy...so...remember all those guys making more coin, have HAD your job once to.

 

Those guys making the extra bank took their own time and money and obtained a four year degree, paid for certs (if you've noticed, they aren't cheap), paid for specializations and mostly do it on their time.  To obtain mine in Tivoli and HP Openview, that was 150k in 97, it's slightly more expensive now.   Just for that training I had to pay for my arrangements in belgium on top of the 150k AND not getting paid for two months.  There's risk, but it's only a risk if you wait for someone else to wipe your ass.

BTW, if it's good training, it's usually bum fuck nowhere and expensive.  That's not including the usual certs and memberships like CCNA, A+, ITIL, MSCA, RHSA.  Those are every year and in tests, books and software.  That's around 10-15k invested, not including time to study, lab time, practice time....always time.  Shit is cheap, but you can never buy time.  Review your resume.  Make sure those certs are next to your name.  When I'm looking through resumes, I look for those.  I want to see the person I'm going to talk to gives a shit enough about their career to keep training.

 

Now, like any trade which it is, there are stages to where you want to be by certain times.  When you are ten years  then you start making bank as long as you are following through with study, certs and work.  But the real money is from the business itself.  

So start your own business, pimp out other bodies (give someone else your job, you have other things to do), make arrangements with vendors and take a cut there both from sales of equipment/software and referrals.  If you can, glue a guy to the equipment or software.  Repeat that process around 12000 times a year with a team of around 20 people to organise the proposals, legal and make business arrangements with other contractors to back each other up in a fair and equitable manner.   You don't win all 12000 btw, you might bag 15% of that in a great year.  Nowadays it's closer to 5-6%.  But, the business needs leads and business to do, so you answer back to everything.  Along the way learning by fucking up until you can do it in your sleep, perfectly everytime.

Trust me you'll be making money in no time along with no sleep for a couple of years while you feel like you are walking on eggs.  If you want more money, go get more money.  You'll miss the steady 20% less pay cheque in no time and a couple of meals as well.  Do that for 70 hours a week for four years and no holidays then you get the swing of things and knock wood you've hired well.

So don't lose heart, those guys making 20% more go for coffee.  Tag along, listen to them and ask them questions about how you can also make 20% more.  If what they do seems boring, talk to some more guys.  You'll figure it out.  

fiftybagger's picture

I've worked with CCNPs who couldn't find their own IP address or even prep a switch.  We call 'em paper certs because about the only thing they are good for is getting you hired.  HR morons love them.  Sales engineers are hands down the stupidest people I've ever worked with in my life besides doctors who are usually outright imbeciles.  Too much edumacation turns the mind to mush I spose.  You sound more like a sales guy than a tech.  The only job requirement for sales is being a good liar.

CPL's picture

Then you should have no trouble managing to getting your CCNA/CCNP or CCDA or CCIE.  It's a reasonable risk to assume at the cost of 250 bucks for a CCNP, if it nets you 20% of your gross salary per year.  How is this a challenge?  Study, play in the lab, take test.  Pass.  Attach your title to your name.  Send resume out and wave offers for other jobs where you work, allow a counter if it's better.  

Hey, if you get your wireless CCIE, you'll be number 112.  Which is amazing.  Out of 7.2 billion people, you could be 1 in 112 people that have enough knowledge, training, experience and you've spent around 70-90k to obtain the initial certification.  At that point you can walk in ANYWHERE with total and complete authority on how and what the client is required to spend, hire, fire AND charge a minimum of "whatever-you-damn-well-please".  

Because without your blessing, no insurance company will underwrite a damn thing, EVER.  No ISO certification for safety or process or nothing can be granted until the master of communications (CCIE) gives his or her blessing.  Or worse, it all can be pulled with the stroke of a pen with an audit of dooooooom!.  Lock the place down with lawyers and auditors.  Nothing moves for months, because if someone stubs their toe, there's no insurance to cover a claim.

Certs are power.  As I mentioned, specialization after year ten, because ten years is a requirement for allot of certifications including a four year degree.  You also happen to need the CCNP as well.  Careers are built, not given.  Ever.

And yes I sell because I own my business.  You don't get to stay in business if you don't sell.  If you don't sell, you don't get to play with expensive toys everyday.  Don't get to hire guys that think HR, Doctors, CCNP's, Sales Engineers are morons.  

And yes again, the best sales guys twist truth, always have since day one.  Plus makes it easy for me to determine where to put the carrot to get them hunting for me.  I'm the product, so are the people I work with and to make sure everyone is healthy and happy, you hire hungry sharks to find the action.

If you haven't noticed our industry is not that good at positioning itself publicly other than we wear khaki's, sandals and enjoy comical t-shirts.  If my colleagues were master sales people, the contracts would renew themselves and the world would not need sales people.  Since that won't happen...ever, business needs closers.  

 

I would talk geek, but the thread discussion is about a dying career path in the airline industry and post secondary professional development.  Someone seemed to be upset that someone with more education and certifications was getting paid more.  By the same rationale the same person can be replaced by picking up a hobo off the street and throwing him in the server room.  He doesn't have the education or the certs either.  The hobo is only missing the tech degree.

 

Am I missing something here?

RafterManFMJ's picture

 ...wireless CCIE, you'll be number 112...

 

I just got my wireless CCIE cert in 30 minutes through University of Phoenix Online! No more fry cook jobs for me!

Skateboarder's picture

If I was the hobo, I'd rip the fan off a server blade and throw a can of baked beans on it.

garypaul's picture

Yes but the first group often pays a 'comparable' wage (adjusting for certain factors) to the second (skilled) group - and is usually in much higher demand as measured by absolute numbers - so why bother killing yourself getting all that esoteric training that will just lead to higher taxation anyways?

ball-and-chain's picture

Things are scary.

Look at McDonald's.

When I was a kid, you never saw grown men working there.

It was a job for teenagers, the elderly, and women who wanted to get out of the house.

Now men are trying to support families with these crap jobs.

Tragic.

http://www.angrysinner.blogspot.kr/2012/12/yesterday-i-walked-five-miles-to-my.html

samcontrol's picture

IF a chick is hot why the fuck is she gonna drown in debt when she can mary some millionaire in five years tops working for an airline. She is one blow job away from fortunes.

chubbar's picture

You are 5 times more likely to get a blow job from a harvard grad than a Delta Flight Attendant.

BorisTheBlade's picture

Hell of a punchline for Harvard Airlines commercial.

r3phl0x's picture

But 25 times more likely to give a rim job to the Harvard grad.

GMadScientist's picture

Not unless you mean 25*0 == 0, and get off the floor.

dunce's picture

And that does not matter if the grad is a man or a woman, plus you don't have to ask for it or buy a ticket.

Skateboarder's picture

1 * (3/3) == 1

(1 / 3) * 3 == 1

(0.333.....) * 3 == 1

0.999... == 1

Where'd that damn 0.000... ... ...001 go?

Peachfuzz's picture

my take on it was if there's 5 times the number of applicants for stewardess as a harvard student, That means there's 5x the hot dumb blondes to every 1 smart red head.... he he giggity, maybe those cavity searches aren't looking so bad after all!

Peter Pan's picture

There must be something about those air hostesses. Andreas Papandreou, father of George Papandreou of Greece who served as a socialist prime minister of Greece met an airline hostess, fell in love with her, promptly divorced his first wife and married the air line hostess. Quite a voluptuous women in her hey day. Funnily enough the people of Greece thought it was quite  a  feat for a man of his age to marry such a young woman. If anything it helped his status as prime minister.

Second example, is Paul Keating a previous prime minister of Australia. He also fell in love with an air hostess and married her. That marriage is now at an end after they had a number of children. The reason is that Paul Keating is gay although the press will not publish this fact until he openly admits to his status.

 

GMadScientist's picture

"She is one blow job away from fortunes."

No, she is one BJ away from a chance at a second date.

MachineMan's picture

Have you recently seen a "hot" Delta Attendant?

DoChenRollingBearing's picture

There is another union that is hard to get into: the ILA.  The ILA may go on strike December 29, shutting down East Coast ports from Boston to Texas.  A dockworkers strike is serious business!  Many businesses up and down the food-chain would be affected.  The ILA members are unhappy that their wages might be cut from $115,000 per year...

Um, what does ILA stand for?  Ask a Teamster!

Port Stories...  [pictures & humor]

http://tinyurl.com/cqqkunq

WTFx10's picture

Rather pay a dock worker 115,000 and get something than pay the useless traitors in the government. The puppet  POTUS and the overpaid ,over protected members of CONgress. Why do u think 115,000 is to much for people who actually work instead of extorting it from the people who do?

Strike and send the whole fuckin criminal enterprise into  a fuckin panic.

They can get the fools who joined the military that believe they are fighting for our freedoms to unload the fucking boats. If their dumb enough to believe that fighting for freedom bullshit as the government strips it away. Then they are dumb enough to unload boats for military wages.

Freddie's picture

The long shoreman on teh West Coast make over $150,000.   The unions love Obam and his govt goons.  They helped put him in power.  The unions are part of the thug class.

The military?  Yeah the Pentagon and Joint Chiefs are cowards and traitors. 

yabyum's picture

Het Freddie, Ya gotta problem wit that?

GMadScientist's picture

Why would they love Obama when he left them at the altar on card-check?

Ineverslice's picture

 

an EXclusive fraternity indeed (bunch of apes), Do Chen.....great stuff, thanx sir.

Timmay's picture

Why join Harvard when you can join a union?

 

Next up for Harvard? Classes on how to join a union.

cossack55's picture

You are more likely to have your life saved by a flight attendant than to get any sort of fair treatment from a Harvard grad.

samcontrol's picture

Do you know the odds of BEING SAVED in an airplane incident . Very low , , that implies alot of stuff that is never gonna happen to us. The blow job is WAY more probable.

All Risk No Reward's picture

The caveat is that, if you are married to a flight attendant, take the "being saved" odds.

Dixie Frank's picture

I don't think the FAs at Delta are unionized.  They need to hire only hotties. They have too many fatties and fags now.