Brits Counter-Petition: Keep Piers Morgan, We Don't Want Him Back

Tyler Durden's picture


Just as we warned in our previous discussion, the Brits, concerned that the dreaded Piers Morgan may be forcefully removed from the USA, have now lodged their own petition. With over half the signatures required, the counter-petition to Home Secretary Theresa May begs her to: Stop Piers Morgan From Being Deported Back To The UK From America... "We got rid of him once and why should we have to suffer again. The Americans wanted him so they should put up with him. We washed our hands of him a long time ago." They do have a point. We hear Belize has a quietly-used compound going cheap?


Click image below for link to petition...



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Wed, 12/26/2012 - 15:36 | 3096833 agent default
agent default's picture

Send him to Gitmo.  That way everyone is happy.

Wed, 12/26/2012 - 15:39 | 3096847 mjcOH1
mjcOH1's picture

Can we sell him to Berlusconi as a bunga-party novelty?  

Wed, 12/26/2012 - 15:46 | 3096881 Troll Magnet
Troll Magnet's picture

Send that lying goddamn limey to China!  Guns are outlawed there.  Surely he'll love it.

Wed, 12/26/2012 - 15:58 | 3096919 The Shootist
The Shootist's picture

He must be sent to Zimbawe Land to investigate hyperinflation and farm murders with fellow liberal honorary Umass, Amherst scholar Robert Mugabe.

Wed, 12/26/2012 - 16:03 | 3096937 WarriorClass
WarriorClass's picture

Good point:

"Much has been made about the petition campaign to deport Piers Morgan.
As far as I'm concerned, we need to keep him right where he is, reminding American firearm owners with his outrageous disarmament advocacy just exactly why we had a Lexington and Concord in 1775. Piers is the best advertisement for citizen disarmament lobby I can think of -- from our point of view. He's ignorant, stupid, wholly uninformed, rude, and so full of himself that in his recent clash with Larry Pratt I actually thought he might explode. He can't fail to alarm and outrage American firearm owners every time he opens his mouth. Thus, Piers is the best friend we've got in the national media, producing among traditional Americans a universal loathing and solidarity. We may disagree on finer points of liberty, but we all agree that Piers is a disgusting shill for American collectivist tyranny. He's too useful an idiot to send back to England."

by Mike Vanderboegh

Wed, 12/26/2012 - 16:33 | 3097053 ShrNfr
ShrNfr's picture

It's always amazing that the average person knows that Paul Reveire ran around yelling "The British Are Coming", but few know what they were coming for.

Wed, 12/26/2012 - 16:48 | 3097104 Colonel
Colonel's picture

+1 LOL. They weren't coming for the Big Gulps.

Wed, 12/26/2012 - 16:54 | 3097136 Pinto Currency
Pinto Currency's picture

Uh Piers, you've got a problem.

Wed, 12/26/2012 - 17:04 | 3097158 Looney
Looney's picture

Morgan can be dropped off in Mexico. If he makes the same trip as many Latinos take to get into the US, I’d let him cunt my loan… errr… I mean “cut my lawn”.  ;-)


Wed, 12/26/2012 - 17:22 | 3097225's picture

Piers has been advised to take a long walk off his short self.

Wed, 12/26/2012 - 19:14 | 3097610 akak
akak's picture

Dammit, you beat me to it!


PS: What the Hell kind of dweeb is named "Piers" in the first place?  Just another one of those wonderful macho British names like Archibald, Reginald, Mortimer, Oliver or Dwight?

Wed, 12/26/2012 - 19:26 | 3097635 bigerny
bigerny's picture

Just put yourself in his place.The country you're attacking kicks you out,and your own country doesn't want you back.

Poor Piers.No love.
Don't you feel sad.?

Wed, 12/26/2012 - 19:32 | 3097652 The Alarmist
The Alarmist's picture

I believe the sign at the entrance saying something to the effect of, "Give us your tired, your poor, your wretched refuse ..." is an unlawful placard that needs to be taken down once and for all.  Ask 99 out of 100 Americans if they want Piers Morgan, and the 1 or so who might actually know who you are talking about will say, "Absolutely frickin not!"

Wed, 12/26/2012 - 22:42 | 3098010 GetZeeGold
GetZeeGold's picture




We have to accept the winner of the British Twit's tradition really.


Fri, 12/28/2012 - 00:25 | 3100876 MeelionDollerBogus
MeelionDollerBogus's picture

Pardon me, yon piker, did I not see Piers do precisely what got the last bloke in at 4th place?

Wed, 12/26/2012 - 19:28 | 3097636 bigerny
bigerny's picture

Just shoot yourself,Please.

Thu, 12/27/2012 - 00:51 | 3098196 akak
akak's picture

At least, in the USA, I still retain that option.

Fri, 12/28/2012 - 00:04 | 3100820 MeelionDollerBogus
MeelionDollerBogus's picture

oh, you forgot Percival.

Wed, 12/26/2012 - 16:51 | 3097121 mjcOH1
mjcOH1's picture

The Ed Sullivan show?

A sweet gig on CNN peddling collectivist propaganda?

This month's EBT bill for the Obama-voters in Detroit?

Firearms otherwise intended for the crown that somehow ended up in private hands?

Enquiring minds want to know.

Wed, 12/26/2012 - 16:53 | 3097129 Pinto Currency
Pinto Currency's picture


Wed, 12/26/2012 - 17:54 | 3097341 dwdollar
dwdollar's picture

You mean they weren't coming for our tea and playing cards? That's what the academics teach students today.

Thu, 12/27/2012 - 01:01 | 3098207 Jreb
Jreb's picture

I had to log in just to give this an up arrow. Good post.

Wed, 12/26/2012 - 15:53 | 3096906 azzhatter
azzhatter's picture

Piers might be a little light in the loafers for Berlusconi's taste

Wed, 12/26/2012 - 16:15 | 3096988 Rogue Trooper
Rogue Trooper's picture

Azz it takes a lot for these guys to you know, get aroused, they like something new.  I would throw in an 'Elmo' outfit for Piers and he could be a real hit...This has got EXPORT written all over it.  Think of all those EURO's commin' back to the USofA.

RECOVERY... Forward Bitchez!

Just sayin'

Wed, 12/26/2012 - 18:23 | 3097388 mjcOH1
mjcOH1's picture

" it takes a lot for these guys to you know, get aroused, they like something new.  I would throw in an 'Elmo' outfit for Piers and he could be a real hit."

Maybe just paint him blue and call it good?

Wed, 12/26/2012 - 18:00 | 3097384 El Oregonian
El Oregonian's picture

We are talking about "Pus" Morgan, right?

Wed, 12/26/2012 - 23:36 | 3098099 deeznutz
deeznutz's picture

Come on, whoever down-arrowed the above can suck it!

Wed, 12/26/2012 - 15:46 | 3096870 TruthInSunshine
TruthInSunshine's picture

Piers Morgan should be dumped into Boston Harbor, where he'll quickly succumb to the frigid water, e. coli & be run over repeatedly by yachts piloted by the likes of The Hon. Jon S. Corzine whilst piloting his 287' beauty, Pimp Hand Libertad.

It will be like another Boston Tea Party, only a lot more Kardashian-esque/Snookie/Empty Calories.

Wed, 12/26/2012 - 16:01 | 3096932 Spitzer
Spitzer's picture

I like him. Hes a shockjock and evidenly hes good at it. he even said that he loves the Orilly Fator. its all in good fun, chill TF out ppl

Wed, 12/26/2012 - 16:07 | 3096956 TruthInSunshine
TruthInSunshine's picture

Whether by "serious" main stream media lofty standards (/s) or shock jock standards, the douchebag sucks hard.

Wed, 12/26/2012 - 16:09 | 3096963 The Shootist
The Shootist's picture

I'm sorry Spitzer, but he's just a socialist media stalwart. Americans are getting fed up with the bullshit on CNN, MSNBC, ABC, and that home shopping network news channel with Nancy Grace.

Wed, 12/26/2012 - 16:11 | 3096969 Freddie
Freddie's picture

You are a moron like the real Spitzer.  TV and Hollywood support disarming you and making you an even bigger serf.  Keep watching their s8it moron.  And ALL TV is crap.   P*ss off Client #9.

Wed, 12/26/2012 - 16:37 | 3097006 TruthInSunshine
TruthInSunshine's picture

There are reasons to dislike Spitzer, but as a libertarian, I'm not going to throw rocks at glass "houses of ill repute" (I'm speaking of brothels, not real criminal enterprises such as too-big-to-fail-KronyKomradeKapitalists-that-love-taxpayer-love).

Wed, 12/26/2012 - 16:54 | 3097140 Freddie
Freddie's picture

Yo.  The only one i felt sorry for in that case was the girl.  She was dumped on by the newspapers.  Spitzer was using campaign/govt money.  He was a cheap sh*t, cheated on his stupid wife who stayed with him and was holier than though in attacking selective companies and looking the other way at hedge funds ripping people off.  He is also close friends with Cramer who was front running his book when he had his hedge fund.

Wed, 12/26/2012 - 17:24 | 3097235's picture

Thou. Just sayin'.

Wed, 12/26/2012 - 16:35 | 3097060 ShrNfr
ShrNfr's picture

Well, we know for sure that Kerry's yaght won't run him down. Can't bring that into MA and all you know. He would have to pay his "fair share" of the taxes.

Wed, 12/26/2012 - 18:11 | 3097424 knukles
knukles's picture

You mean Ms. Heinz would have to pay his fair share of his taxes for him.

Wed, 12/26/2012 - 15:45 | 3096872 vmromk
vmromk's picture


I guess it is called "GREAT" because the debt is beyond believable.

Wed, 12/26/2012 - 15:46 | 3096879 jmcadg
jmcadg's picture

We taught you well ;)

Thu, 12/27/2012 - 06:14 | 3098396 carbon
carbon's picture

Time Warner Inc. CNN freak show is doing well

NYSE: TWX - 27 Dec 4:10am ET 47.48+0.03‎

Wed, 12/26/2012 - 16:06 | 3096945 Dingleberry
Dingleberry's picture

Hey Brits,

When we start sending you fucked up bitchez then you can send them back to us......until then, his ass belongs to YOU.


Or else we are sending you Linsay Lohan, the cast of Jersey Shore and all the fucking Kardashians....

Wed, 12/26/2012 - 17:20 | 3097216 mjcOH1
mjcOH1's picture

Let's not be hasty.   A couple of rolls of saran wrap, some crisco,  and a bucket of rice could provide hours of willing entertainment there when the shit hits the fan.

Wed, 12/26/2012 - 18:13 | 3097431 knukles
knukles's picture

I'm with you.

Just think of the fun appearing outside LL's next rehab on her release with a 1.75 of Smirnoff... that alone'd get her wetter than a 9 year old discovering sex.

What an evening.

And she'd be incapable of remembering anything, no Roofies needed.

Wed, 12/26/2012 - 19:39 | 3097669 Rogue Trooper
Rogue Trooper's picture

I'll buy that for a dollar.....

This is REAL quality!

Wed, 12/26/2012 - 23:45 | 3098109 WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot
WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot's picture

Knuckles, you're killing me. LOL!

Thu, 12/27/2012 - 04:30 | 3098330 zhandax
zhandax's picture

When we start sending you fucked up bitchez then you can send them back to us

Let's not be so generous.  Technically Carney is Canadian, but our squid sent him to BOE.

Wed, 12/26/2012 - 23:05 | 3098054 koncaswatch
koncaswatch's picture

Dingleberry: look out; they'll send Madona back

Wed, 12/26/2012 - 16:09 | 3096964 Rogue Trooper
Rogue Trooper's picture

Agreed, no trial necessary and all that messy Habeas Corpus Stuff.  Plus it can be 'forever'. 

He mentioned Australia the other day and many other Countries that would love to have him.  That's way too close to my home we do not want him either.

This farce just gets better......


Wed, 12/26/2012 - 20:42 | 3097788 Slightly Insane
Slightly Insane's picture

doesn't Chrysler, Ford, or GM need a barely used "crash dummy"? 

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