The Broken Shark-Tank Fallacy

Tyler Durden's picture

If breaking one window in a Keynesian utopia is good, then breaking moar windows is betterer; and it appears, therefore, our friends across the Pacific will be celebrating the rebirth of the Chinese economy as a 33-ton glass shark tank shattered in a Shanghai mall. According to local media (via Gizmodo), three lemon sharks surfed the water explosion into the shopping mall when the 6-inch thick acrylic glass burst, as you can see in this video captured by CCTV cameras. Unfortunately, given the images below it appears the sharks did not make it - but then again that means more new sharks will need to be purchased so that's upside, right?


Via GizModo,



Most of the people watching the tank were injured with "deep cuts and bruises," according to a police spokesman:

There were lots of injuries caused by flying glass, some of them serious because the glass was so thick. We are investigating what caused this.

The event happened on December 19 at the Shanghai Orient Shopping Center, in China, where the aquarium was installed two years ago. It become a popular local attraction at the time. The shopping center has announced that they are planning to rebuild it.





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Aziz's picture

Those sharks look stimulated.

ball-and-chain's picture

China's a joke.

Contaminated milk.  Poisoned dog food.  Disease-ridden dry wall.  Cardboard rice.

And that's the new economic model!

No thank you.  I'll take America any day of the week.

We've been through depressions before.  They suck.  But we'll survive.

Freddie's picture

Well the Chi Coms want to disarm you along with: Piers Morgan, All of TV, All of Hollywood, black racist Jamie Foxx, Bloomberg, Rupert Murdoch, The Democrat Party, our Dear Mullah and other assorted arseholes.

China came out almost as fast as the others in saying Americans need to be disarmed. F them.

Imminent Crucible's picture

Why couldn't that have been some of our Wall Street sharks?  There would be something poetic about Jamie Dimon, Lloyd Blankfein and Chuck Prince expiring on a mall floor in Shanghai, gills working frantically.

Titus's picture


JPM Hater001's picture

I so hope it's China we have to go to war with.

Bollixed's picture

No you don't. We traded our manufacturing base for their cheap gizmos to pad the pockets of the elites. If push comes to shove they can immediately turn their factories into weapons machines the way we did in WW2. Given their population, a war of attrition is a one sided affair. We both have nukes.

A war with China would be the Black Swan of the Century... 

Imminent Crucible's picture

War with China is on. It's just not a shooting war. It's a trade war, a currency war, a technology war, a cyber-war and eventually a debt war; China threatens to dump a couple $trillion of US Treasuries, and we threaten to cancel the bonds before they can be dumped.  None of it ends well.

Bollixed's picture

Agreed. But one thing to keep in mind is the folks in China who handle the money are all extraders who know how money works. Our guys are academics/bureaucrats who couldn't find the head of the coin if you gave them two chances.

China holds $1.16 trillion in US Treasuries and will no doubt find a way to trade those to others seeking 'high quality collateral' before we get the chance to undermine their holdings.

And you are completely right...none of this ends well.

goldfish1's picture

Hope their dams aren't constructed with the same engineering issues.

strannick's picture

Right. And perhap fund a university grant to study why they didnt make it.

rich_wicks's picture

You think China is a joke?

What about a country that gives out trillions of dollars of money to a group of criminals in the financial system and put their citizens on the hook for the loan?

Or a country that lies about weapons of mass destruction in a foreign country, and then after it becomes absolutely clear that it was a complete lie, doesn't hold anybody accountable?

Or a nation that earns less than 16% in tax revenue than it has in debt?

Or a nation that intentionally locks up capital in real estate where it's totally non productive?

Or a nation that feeds subsidies into it's corn industry to make ethnol with a negative return on energy investment?

The US is the freaking joke.  If you think China is funny, you must be laughing very hard at the United States.  China has it's problems, but the United States has unmanageable structural and systemic problems today.  It's got a governemnt that routinely lies to it's citizens and actively support criminals that threaten it's financial stability.

surfersd's picture

That is all well and good rich___ and you are right on many points regarding the US, but you have to be pretty naive to believe that the US is worse than China. Spare me the economic stats, I would rather have are lying politicians that have to answer to their Poliburo. Please read some history or the newspaper to understand how truly limited freedom is in China.


proLiberty's picture

China, an entire country built like the stuff at Harbor Freight.

Almost Solvent's picture

Thanks! I just snorted coffee laughing and it's burning my nostrils.

Anyone who has ever owned or used a Harbor Freight item knows what "cheap plastic-y literally falls apart in your hands while you're using it shitbox" really means.

Mr. Magniloquent's picture

Your display of wit here goes underappreciated. May my single vote help recognize the merit of your humor.

tabasco71's picture

Chinese version of Hurricance Sandy... losers can't even do natural disasters correctly...

Dasa Slooofoot's picture

From the same master craftsmen that brought you shit from WalMart that breaks in a month.  

A Nanny Moose's picture

Chinese Low wage manufacturing has officially Jumped the Shark.

mjcOH1's picture

Slave labor was having a bad day at the People's Discount Acrylic Sheet Factory.

El Oregonian's picture

This is a metaphor for the coming bankers/sharks market implosion on Feb. 13th 2013... Stay tuned...

ACP's picture

Exactly...the correct term for any and all products from China is "landfill," because that's where it ends up soon after you buy it.

Jake88's picture

my walmart shit works just fine

ZeroAvatar's picture

They're just 'keepin 'em on ice'  'til they can de-fin 'em.





TheFourthStooge-ing's picture

Shark fin soup being prized the delicacy in voting class (the king class) of Chinese citizenism, much betterings if fins from endangered species.

Must the pointing out though racingist evidence of inherent eternal nature of Chinese citizenism:

The event happened on December 19 at the Shanghai Orient Shopping Center

Requiring now accommodatings sensitivity to Chinamans, this place will did being the name change requestations to Shanghai Asian Orient Shopping Center expeditiously.

CompassionateFascist's picture

Only surprised the tank wasn't full of dogfish, and their babies, puppyfish.  

Rearranging Deckchairs's picture

And people wonder why I don't like purchasing Chinese goods.

Motorhead's picture

I hope the shark fin soup was good.

akak's picture

I tried it in Shanghai, and was disappointed --- it pretty much tastes just like kitten.

willwork4food's picture

I concur, and kitten tastes just like bunnies. McRib anyone?

ShortTheUS's picture

Teh new tank will be built and broken again in record time!

Pairadimes's picture

The sharks have been out of the tanks on this side of the Pacific for years now.

Dr. Engali's picture

Shark tanks that shatter and "luxury" boats that sink when launched. Next up towers that take a month to build collapsing and borrowed Russian aircraft carriers sinking.

MrSteve's picture

Maybe 6 inches of their formula acrylic wasn't enough to prevent catastrophic overpressure failure. The  large chunks of cleanly fractured material imply an internal structural flaw, perhaps too fast a cool-down or other crystaline-inducing processing flaw in the casting of the giant slab.

ebworthen's picture

Cheap ass construction and poor planning.

Couldn't possibly be "made in China" could it?

BlackChicken's picture

It is. That's why it broke.

My three year old pulled out a plastic toy she recieved this Christmas. The thing was not out of the plastic for one minute and the damn handle came off. Know what she said immediately?

"oh well.. Broke in China" I think that summs up the quality; it was broken before it ever even got here.

If only we had one public official that gave even the slightest fuck about us...

Fix It Again Timmy's picture

Forgot to add lead....

Seasmoke's picture

Just think of all those empty fraud closed houses that were built using Chinese materials.

ShrNfr's picture

I am just sharked I tell you! Totally sharked that such a thing could happen!


How many stocks could a shark tank shock?

If a shark tank could shock stocks?

akak's picture

"Restaurant special today: shark fin soup!"



EDIT: Oops, should have read earlier comments.

TheFourthStooge-ing's picture

Blobbing up of Chinese citizenism shark finaticism cannot be contained by polycarbonation of the enclosing means.

akak's picture

You have putting your fingers on the crustiest bit.

But when polycarbonizationalizing of the ensharkation means leads to aqueous deblobbing-up, one can only blame US 'american' structural failurizings.  Alas, alas, triple great white alas, just have to bear with it ...

ceilidh_trail's picture

Was that ananonymous I saw in that video? Another glorious chinese achievment. We can all learn from china what not to do...

TheFourthStooge-ing's picture

Yes, that was AnAnonymous in the video. He was the one chastizing the sharks for their 'americanism'.

akak's picture

Despite their lack of prehensile appendages, I could swear that I saw those 'american' sharks kicking the can and pushing blame to the exterior.