AAPL, Market Go Vertical On House Conference Call News

Tyler Durden's picture


It appears that our expectation for a 3:35 pm rumor was some 45 minutes too late. No sooner than headlines crossed the wires that:


then stocks ramped instantly to their VWAPs and beyond... efficient markets? whocouldanode? This way at least, when nothing happens on Sunday night, as nothing will (as it comes three days before Boehner's reelection), the flashbacks to the TARP 1 vote will be front and center, but the good news is that the downside will be limited by the limit down barrier in ES.

S&P 500 futures...



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Thu, 12/27/2012 - 15:50 | 3099638 Dollar Bill Hiccup
Dollar Bill Hiccup's picture

Yep. That's an efficient market. Discounting future cash flows of fiction.

Thu, 12/27/2012 - 16:08 | 3099647 TruthInSunshine
TruthInSunshine's picture


Hope floats, change sinks & rumors VWAP!!!

(And a rising tide lifts all sewage for a little while longer)

Joe Weaselfailure has a Boom! chart that he drew with a crayola crayon showing a few of his favorite things, such as "Scott Brown's Bottom," and "Boner's Ramp."

Thu, 12/27/2012 - 16:09 | 3099698 walküre
walküre's picture

I keep asking myself when are we taking these piggies to the market? Why do we keep feeding Congress piggies when they're so useless. I'm all for a cut in spending. Disolve the entire herd of pigs in DC and on Wall Street and see how far we can get with our hard earned incomes. The barn is too full and we need to make some room. The Wall Street breed of pigs is scamming the population out of their money and the DC pigs are aiding and abeting the Wall Street pigs in the process because it benefits them. Two breeds of pigs have taken over the barn and everyone else is suffering. A good cleanse and culling of the herd is long overdue.

They're cutting support to about 2 million unemployed instantly. Nobody cares. Keep these 2 million on the trough and reduce the number of fat pigs. A whole lot of lean and mean piggies can survive on the same rations we're feeding to the fat pigs.

Thu, 12/27/2012 - 16:20 | 3099723 ZippyBananaPants
ZippyBananaPants's picture

How much money have those congress cocksuckers made in options trading this inside info?

Thu, 12/27/2012 - 16:30 | 3099733 strannick
strannick's picture

Apple defies gravity (despite the findings of Newton). Meanwhile gold treads water (despite having the heaviest specific gravity of the elements)

Thu, 12/27/2012 - 16:36 | 3099759 CPL
CPL's picture

It's public record somewhere, just look it up.  If they've built an option around whatever they wanted to, there should be a tonne of paper work associated with it.  Always paper work somewhere on any financial offering.  You would need to find out who they bank with, that can be obtained with a looksie at where their children live.  Most of these families get involved with their childrens finances/home purchases and act as the second signature to obtain the best rate for their kids using their credit and name to do so.  That should give you the bank.

Start sniffing around from there.


Thu, 12/27/2012 - 17:05 | 3099826 Big Slick
Big Slick's picture

Not so sure about that CPL, unless you and I understand it differently.  I think the reference was to buying equity options with illegal information.  If I was a Congressman and I wanted to unethically buy S&P calls off of this info (repetitive terms I know; Congressman and unethical), I would do it through my brokerage firm (or some shadow account) neither of which would have anything to do with my local bank or where my kids live. 

If someone wanted to sniff, I would seek the brokerage firm of the Congressperson (if I knew it) and maybe someone who works there.  It bothers me how easily and with little whim the customer service people at my brokerage house look into my account.  If I had a friend on the inside... ooooohhh boooy!!!


Thu, 12/27/2012 - 17:17 | 3099854 knukles
knukles's picture

Is No Illegal Trading for Congress

Hey guys and gals, don't forget, SEC regs concerning trading on non-public material inside information does not apply to our August Honorable Public Servants in the Congress.

They wuz gonna tak care that a year or so ago?


And they did naught, nada, zip, zilch, still legal for them pigs more equal than other pigs.

Thu, 12/27/2012 - 17:21 | 3099863 Big Slick
Big Slick's picture

thanks for the reminder knukles.  forgot about that little gem.  I'm gonna go back to my general gnashing of teeth and ripping of garments.  The only thing that gets me through the day is that there WILL be judgement of these scum... in this world or the next.

Thu, 12/27/2012 - 20:36 | 3100316 knukles
knukles's picture

"there WILL be judgement of these scum... in this world or the next."

Amen, my brother.
This is the reason for which Judgement and Hell were created.

Fri, 12/28/2012 - 08:44 | 3101198 Fizzywig
Fizzywig's picture

What makes you think we are not living in hell already? 

It reminds me of an episode of 'The Outer Limits' in which a ship of humans is frantically trying to escape a hoard of alien invaders who require human hosts to survive.  The humans make a narrow escape from their horrific demise; only to find out at the end that they were indeed overrun and subdued and the aliens injected them with a chemical which allowed them to dream that they actually escaped.

Thu, 12/27/2012 - 17:08 | 3099835 Stoploss
Stoploss's picture

I like the way you think CPL.

Thu, 12/27/2012 - 16:51 | 3099796 Buckaroo Banzai
Buckaroo Banzai's picture

How much? The answer is, one metric shit-ton of money. But since insider trader is 100% legal for members of Congress, you can't say they are breaking any laws. All they are doing is taking advantage of their position to better themselves at the expense of the taxpayer.

Wait. Are you saying that's bad?

Thu, 12/27/2012 - 16:23 | 3099731 The trend is yo...
The trend is your friend's picture

So fuckin predictable.  These Shysters know the next big one will be the last big one for a very long time.  They need to keep it up forever now, they own the market and no one is their to sell it to.  Retail is out and Hedge funds know the game all to well to be suckered in.  The only ones holding the bag are long only mutual funds.


Thu, 12/27/2012 - 16:47 | 3099783 Winston Churchill
Winston Churchill's picture

Just amazing levitation displayed.

They could make an honest fortune in ED treatment.

Thu, 12/27/2012 - 16:44 | 3099778 Stoploss
Stoploss's picture

Can they cast their VOTE on a conference call????

I dont think so.



Thu, 12/27/2012 - 17:18 | 3099858 knukles
knukles's picture

The European Way

Thu, 12/27/2012 - 17:34 | 3099903 greensnacks
greensnacks's picture

Exactly. Haven't we seen this script play out before? How many "Merkel and Draghi agree to meet" headlines did Europe throw out to prevent their markets from crashing, only to not accomplish much of anything.

Thu, 12/27/2012 - 16:56 | 3099810 ACP
ACP's picture

Yup, VWAP'd again!

Thu, 12/27/2012 - 17:01 | 3099818 derek_vineyard
derek_vineyard's picture

get 'em all drunk w/ plenty of hookers (male and female) and see if they will sign at 11:59 pm on 12/31/12

Thu, 12/27/2012 - 17:05 | 3099828 Banksters
Banksters's picture

Retail investors went all in on the news.  SNARK

Thu, 12/27/2012 - 17:18 | 3099856 Stoploss
Stoploss's picture

Will some one with half an operating irradiated Fukushima brain, please update the House Press Gallery??



For fucks sake..

Thu, 12/27/2012 - 18:53 | 3100078 Stoploss
Stoploss's picture

Thank you.


Thu, 12/27/2012 - 19:19 | 3100136 ball-and-chain
ball-and-chain's picture

Good citizens of Metropolis.

I see deflation.

We might get another housing crash.

Gold and silver will take a hit.

You will all lose your shirts.

But relax.

I also see dead people.


Thu, 12/27/2012 - 15:52 | 3099639 devo
devo's picture

This is unhealthy.

Everyone should read The Great Crash...the behavior is almost identical.

Thu, 12/27/2012 - 16:37 | 3099739 Kaiser Sousa
Kaiser Sousa's picture

unhealthy????let me help you out homie...


where's the rocket ship ramp in the only 2 forms of real money which having been sold ofF all fucking month in the phony paper futures market only to trade sideways all fucking day during this Fiscal Cliff charade!!!!!!!!



Thu, 12/27/2012 - 16:55 | 3099807 Nobody For President
Nobody For President's picture

Hey Kaiser, when are you gonna let us know how you REALLY feel?

Thu, 12/27/2012 - 17:06 | 3099829 Kaiser Sousa
Kaiser Sousa's picture

my fucking pleasure....

Thu, 12/27/2012 - 17:23 | 3099875 WTFUD
WTFUD's picture

Am feelin you bro. . . still its a kinda Magic

Thu, 12/27/2012 - 19:48 | 3100205 optimator
optimator's picture

Careful with your words, a few real casino may sue you for slander.

Thu, 12/27/2012 - 16:39 | 3099763 Hobbleknee
Hobbleknee's picture

Who is the author?

Thu, 12/27/2012 - 16:50 | 3099790 devo
devo's picture

John Kenneth Galbraith. He's a Keynesian, but sticks to the facts in this book and leaves opinion/philosophy out of it. You'd think he was writing about 2012 reading it.

Thu, 12/27/2012 - 18:16 | 3100002 Hobbleknee
Hobbleknee's picture


Thu, 12/27/2012 - 16:41 | 3099770 JLee2027
JLee2027's picture

Been "unhealthy" for 40 years. My only question is when does the piper get paid?

Thu, 12/27/2012 - 16:54 | 3099802 devo
devo's picture

Average people are starting to take notice, though. E.g. My girlfriend's mother (a baby boomer) was here over Christmas, and she said she was thinking about getting out of the stock market entirely because something didn't feel right, and she's afraid of losing her life savings. This woman plays everything by the book and is very pro establishment. If these types follow intuition and start cashing out of the casino...

Well, nothing will happen, we'll just have a month straight of Rule 48.

Thu, 12/27/2012 - 17:21 | 3099864 adr
adr's picture

She accounts for .oooooooooooooooo1% of the market today, so her taking money out won't even register. There are no retail investors anymore, only idiots throwing their life savings away that believe the scam that they can get rich without work. That somehow the Roths, the Rocks, and the Morgs will let them.

Thu, 12/27/2012 - 17:33 | 3099896 devo
devo's picture

Well corporations do produce goods and services, so they have value. I have no idea if old money is scamming everyone...that falls into paranoia and conspiracy, which I try like hell to avoid. I have 20% in PMs just in case I need it, and then forget about that side of the argument.

Stocks are overpriced but that will correct through the next few earning seasons. I still think this deflationary cycle puts the DOW at 8500 at some point. That seems fair market value given the economic climate and without the FED enabling leverage/speculation.

Thu, 12/27/2012 - 20:36 | 3100315 Brendon Carr
Brendon Carr's picture

You try like hell to avoid paranoia and conspiracy and you're reading ZeroHedge?

Thu, 12/27/2012 - 17:32 | 3099891 WTFUD
WTFUD's picture

Agreed everyone starting with Ben B! Ya?

Thu, 12/27/2012 - 15:52 | 3099640 DrDinkus
DrDinkus's picture

buying the dip (in treasuries) all the way down...thanks bernanke, you FK!

Thu, 12/27/2012 - 15:52 | 3099641 francis_sawyer
francis_sawyer's picture

Righteous Bucks...


~ Jeff Spicoli

Thu, 12/27/2012 - 17:08 | 3099782 Jeff Spicoli
Jeff Spicoli's picture

All we need are some tasty waves and a cool buzz .... The doctor said this market can be huffed for a long time before any permanent damage occurs


Thu, 12/27/2012 - 15:52 | 3099642 rubearish10
rubearish10's picture

Heads, they win, tails,,,they win too! 

Thu, 12/27/2012 - 15:59 | 3099649 WhiteNight123129
WhiteNight123129's picture

Nope, Heads, they win, heads they win... there is no tails on this coin. But there is fat tail lurking elsewhere....


Thu, 12/27/2012 - 15:59 | 3099671 francis_sawyer
francis_sawyer's picture

Best two out of three...



Thu, 12/27/2012 - 16:04 | 3099686 rubearish10
rubearish10's picture

Elsewhere like FX and US Tsys?

Thu, 12/27/2012 - 18:03 | 3099979 WhiteNight123129
WhiteNight123129's picture

Let us put that way, the 30 years yield is way to low in relation to inflation expectations. Don t know which way it will play out though, if this is the inflation expectation which normalize against TSY (S&P bearish, Gold so-so, TSY slightly up), or inflation expectations which keep rising (Treasuries bearish, Gold bullish), or the Treasuries market rallies like mad on the upside while inflation expectation stay at 2.55% (TSY would risk a pullback, Gold would get very volatile on the upside).

I do not know the resolution, but I would go short treasuries, short overpriced consumer discreationary US, long selective China stocks, Long Gold, short some Brazilian consumption stocks (hedge against long equities China).





Thu, 12/27/2012 - 17:23 | 3099872 adr
adr's picture

TAILS! I always bet tails.

But he is using a two headed coin.

So, I always bet tails. It's principle. Can't change now.

Thu, 12/27/2012 - 15:52 | 3099644 WhiteNight123129
WhiteNight123129's picture

Circus and Circus and more Circus...


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