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Retirement-Off, Dow Breaks 13,000 (The Wrong Way)

Tyler Durden's picture


They said it could never happen again, but it just did (after some spirited defense). Millions of retiring boomers were just silenced (and sent back to work) by the slump (down triple digits) in the Dow Jones Industrial Average back below its magical 13,000 level. WWBBD?




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Thu, 12/27/2012 - 13:13 | 3099189 stant
stant's picture

wheres my dow i mean gold 10,000 hat

Thu, 12/27/2012 - 13:16 | 3099206 NotApplicable
NotApplicable's picture

Is Kevin Henry on vacation?

Thu, 12/27/2012 - 13:25 | 3099236 Richard Chesler
Richard Chesler's picture

Any boomer "fully invested" in stocks deserves to be vaporized.

Thu, 12/27/2012 - 13:44 | 3099290 economics9698
economics9698's picture

Kramer is bullish. 

Thu, 12/27/2012 - 13:49 | 3099307 insanelysane
insanelysane's picture

Can't believe people are missing out on this buying opportunity.  Can we use iTunes cards to buy stocks???

Thu, 12/27/2012 - 14:26 | 3099429 TruthInSunshine
TruthInSunshine's picture

Don't worry anyone...these markets are so thin and such an epic joke that even a minor league piker propagandist like Weisenthal can move them with a barely decipherable article that's hearsay about, and I quote Joe Weasel-fail, "SCOTT BROWN'S BOTTOM."

We knew Joe Weisenthal was a d-list propagandist. Some may be surprised to learn that he's a twink that's heavily lusting after Scott Brown's "bear" bottom (Weisenthal is day dreaming right now about it being a power bottom).

Bears and Twinks
Thu, 12/27/2012 - 14:29 | 3099441 Middle_Finger_Market
Middle_Finger_Market's picture

I liked Joe at first...then the liking began to fade, agreed. 

Thu, 12/27/2012 - 14:28 | 3099435 The trend is yo...
The trend is your friend's picture

Be careful of the PPT, i see some bidding in PCLN and AMZN

Thu, 12/27/2012 - 13:40 | 3099272 insanelysane
insanelysane's picture

He's cramping but the trainer is gonna tape him up and plop him in front of the terminal for the second half.

Thu, 12/27/2012 - 13:46 | 3099297 GMadScientist
GMadScientist's picture

Don't forget the tampon.

Thu, 12/27/2012 - 13:27 | 3099239 natty light
natty light's picture


Thu, 12/27/2012 - 14:04 | 3099366 candyman
candyman's picture

BFD, I'm sick of this market is collapsing talk because of the FC. Tthe market is flat since August.  We need a real fuck^# downturn to get these politicians working. oooH "fear intensifies" and we are only off 13 on the spoos.

Thu, 12/27/2012 - 14:14 | 3099398 JPM Hater001
JPM Hater001's picture

Hat?  Where is the Pink elephants trunk?  It's time to celebrate.  Meet me at 4:20.

Thu, 12/27/2012 - 14:18 | 3099411 Larry Dallas
Larry Dallas's picture

"Millions of retiring boomers were just silenced (and sent back to work)..."

Where? What work? I'm sure at least part those same millions would want a job.

Millions of retiring boomers were just silenced (and forced to collect disability)...

Fixed it for ya!

Thu, 12/27/2012 - 17:21 | 3099867 Bad Attitude
Bad Attitude's picture

"Where? What work?"

Walmart. It's indoors with heating/air conditioning. It beats shoveling porcine excrement in the hot sun.

And, Walmart sells ammo!

Thu, 12/27/2012 - 21:28 | 3100429 doggings
doggings's picture

haha love that video, funny as.. from the time of the big silver run if I remember right.

but we are now teetering on the edge of  SellTheFuckingBounce territory

Thu, 12/27/2012 - 13:20 | 3099191 camaro68ss
camaro68ss's picture

The horror..... O the horror...

O be one bernake, your our only hope, you must print faster.

bernake- "im given it all shes got captain."

Thu, 12/27/2012 - 13:44 | 3099292 Thomas
Thomas's picture

The humor...oh, the humor...

Thu, 12/27/2012 - 13:15 | 3099193 Flounder
Flounder's picture

All will be resolved once AMZN starts paying a 4% quarterly dividend.

Thu, 12/27/2012 - 13:15 | 3099195 Super Broccoli
Super Broccoli's picture

well it's going back up don't worry :-)

Thu, 12/27/2012 - 13:15 | 3099196 Stoploss
Stoploss's picture

IDK, but the intergalactic, massively rare, metallic chemical element is responding.

Thu, 12/27/2012 - 13:15 | 3099197 Cursive
Cursive's picture

Memo to CNBS:  Get the Dow 10,000 hats out of storage for 2013.

Thu, 12/27/2012 - 13:15 | 3099200 Debeachesand Je...
Debeachesand Jerseyshores's picture

Time to cash in any profits from stocks etc before the sunset of the Bush Tax Cuts.

Thu, 12/27/2012 - 13:16 | 3099203 muppet_master
muppet_master's picture

yes "retirement"

quick everyone, BUY INTO THE PONZI SCHEME = you can "retire" with illnesses. LOL !!

ahhh, where is MADOFF WHEN YOU NEED HIM ??  ROFLMAO !!

Thu, 12/27/2012 - 13:16 | 3099204 Toolshed
Toolshed's picture


The obvious answer - Ctrl-P.......all the way to the gallows baby!!

Thu, 12/27/2012 - 13:21 | 3099220 I Got Worms
I Got Worms's picture

Benny B: "Release the Kraken!!"

Thu, 12/27/2012 - 13:39 | 3099268 camaro68ss
camaro68ss's picture

Kraken? Is this the latest printing model?

It prints 2x faster then before!!!

Thu, 12/27/2012 - 14:02 | 3099356 XitSam
XitSam's picture

Bernanke: How many zeros will fit on a dollar bill?

Yellen: At the current size, approximately fifty.

Bernanke: That's not enough. What if we make the zeros smaller?

Yellen: If the zeros are too small, people won't know what they are spending.

Bernanke: What if we make all bills the same, redeemable for one loaf of bread.

Yellen: Bread redeemable for bread! Brilliant!

Thu, 12/27/2012 - 15:11 | 3099549 saturn
saturn's picture

Somebody could try to arm themselvez with old enough bread!

Thu, 12/27/2012 - 17:18 | 3099855 MeelionDollerBogus
MeelionDollerBogus's picture

utter nonsense! Just like greeting cards with piezoelectric speakers they should ANNOUNCE how many zero's are on the bill!

Thu, 12/27/2012 - 17:16 | 3099850 MeelionDollerBogus
MeelionDollerBogus's picture

It's got a dozen ethernet cables for tentacles and on each end a laughing Krugman face spitting out billions per minute of FRN's!

Thu, 12/27/2012 - 13:18 | 3099208 Banksters
Banksters's picture

The pension/retirement funds are seed money for the ponzi.    They won't get shit for retirement.   

Thu, 12/27/2012 - 13:18 | 3099212 pine_marten
pine_marten's picture

Retirement savings?  Dead man walking.  Inflation & taxation will devour what the prudent have set aside.

Thu, 12/27/2012 - 15:13 | 3099553 MachoMan
MachoMan's picture

Kind of...  the prudent are setting aside guns, ammo, food, and a myriad of other things that seem to be going up in scarcity and price...  (faster than inflation).  The writing has been on the wall for quite a while to get out what you can from the system...  and that your retirement is nothing but dangling meat in the shark tank.

Prudence doesn't exist in a vacuum...  nor does it remain constant...  the rules of yesteryear have nothing to do with the rules (and risk) of today.

Thu, 12/27/2012 - 13:19 | 3099213 yogibear
yogibear's picture

"They said it could never happen again" 

Who is "They"? Consider the source of the statement. What interest do "They" have in making such a statement.

Someone in real estate also said back in the early 80's also stated rates would never drop below 12%.  What happened?


Thu, 12/27/2012 - 13:19 | 3099216 Super Broccoli
Super Broccoli's picture

nah ... going to settle around 13055 tonight. Dropping to 12975 tommorow. Then Obama and Boehner magicaly find an agreement and it goes thru the roof again !

Thu, 12/27/2012 - 14:00 | 3099351 PeeramidIdeologies
PeeramidIdeologies's picture

Yep, the downhill hill run is nearly done...

Thu, 12/27/2012 - 13:20 | 3099218 surf0766
surf0766's picture

Who gives a rats ass about the boomers.

Thu, 12/27/2012 - 13:31 | 3099250 Sudden Debt
Sudden Debt's picture

I care as much about them as they care about us.... ZERO!!!!

Thu, 12/27/2012 - 13:21 | 3099222 TheMayor
TheMayor's picture

Get the truth!

Thu, 12/27/2012 - 13:24 | 3099229 Waterfallsparkles
Waterfallsparkles's picture

Just a way to scare the few remaining people out of the Market forever.

Thu, 12/27/2012 - 13:25 | 3099230 emersonreturn
emersonreturn's picture

'they only care about the Dow...'  some politicans will do anything to get their way.

Thu, 12/27/2012 - 13:25 | 3099231 razorthin
razorthin's picture

Retirement off?  Not mine.  Positioned in miners and global resources.

Thu, 12/27/2012 - 13:27 | 3099238 orangegeek
orangegeek's picture

Dow Jones Weekly has been toyed with for some time to keep it up.


It's going to be interesting to see Q4 results.  It isn't going to be pretty.

Thu, 12/27/2012 - 13:27 | 3099240 dobermangang
dobermangang's picture

Buy guns and ammo.  That's what everybody else seems to be doing.

Thu, 12/27/2012 - 15:24 | 3099584 MachoMan
MachoMan's picture

don't forget your pmags

Thu, 12/27/2012 - 17:25 | 3099880 Freddie
Freddie's picture

What PMags? What ammo? What guns?  I wonder how many mags MagPul can make per day?   They are probably running flat out. Lancer and Troy too.

Thu, 12/27/2012 - 17:56 | 3099961 GCT
GCT's picture

Hell if your buying pmags right now your crazy.  Bought mine long before all this AWB started.  Fools are paying alot of bucks fror all these scare tactics.  Hmmm maybe the gov did this on purpose to make the retail sales look better after everything else looked like shit.  Guys tell the world we are going to ban AWB and all gear and they will go out and pay stupid prices for this stuff.  Problem solved with these miserable retail sale numbers!   LOLOL

Thu, 12/27/2012 - 18:02 | 3099975 The Joker
The Joker's picture

...and your silver bullets.

Thu, 12/27/2012 - 13:27 | 3099241 muppet_master
muppet_master's picture

"THEY" said

it could NEVER happen again (dow below 13k) THEY = the stupid "REPORTERS" ?? LOL !!

djia @ 13k, DOWN -4.7% from Oct 2012 high of 13.6k...= OMG !!! ITS THE END OF THE WORLD...bc the ponzi scheme is down -4.7% from its high....

NEVER MIND that it got pumped up more than 100% since 6.6k on 3-2009 by raping the 99% with debt + inflation...

Thu, 12/27/2012 - 13:29 | 3099245 Kaiser Sousa
Kaiser Sousa's picture

buy more stocks....!!

buy more CrAppple...!

"where's Mortimer....!"




Thu, 12/27/2012 - 13:33 | 3099254 A Lunatic
A Lunatic's picture

Looks like it's time for some more 'must pass it to see what's in it' legislation to save us from imminent financial collapse. Might be a good chance to bury some gun confiscation legislation in the fine print.

Thu, 12/27/2012 - 14:05 | 3099370 XitSam
XitSam's picture

Introduced at 2 AM in the middle of a "must pass" crisis.  "No time to read the bill, just vote!"

Thu, 12/27/2012 - 18:01 | 3099972 The Joker
The Joker's picture

Obama, during his grief stricken memorial speech, said Biden had to give him a gun bill by mid-January.  Look for it then.  They won't sneak this one in.  Shit, they have support of 58% of the people, according to Bloomberg, they don't have to sneak it.

Thu, 12/27/2012 - 15:10 | 3099536 lakecity55
lakecity55's picture

I do not think they will even try to bury it. Blackmailed and spineless "republicans" will vote for Confiscation.

All we are going to see is gun owners= 'raycists' =pederasts 24/7.

No, it will finally be up to We The People to decide. 

Thu, 12/27/2012 - 13:35 | 3099257 fonzannoon
fonzannoon's picture

Hey Tylers that douchegag you skewered Terranova or whatever just made it clear that gold is done. Please keep todays recording handy. Should be fun to watch him try to stuff his words inside his apple sandwich.

Thu, 12/27/2012 - 13:41 | 3099275 kito
kito's picture

Happy merry hanukwanzamis fonz!!.....

Thu, 12/27/2012 - 13:43 | 3099286 fonzannoon
fonzannoon's picture

Hey same to you Kito. Let's grab a beer this year.

Thu, 12/27/2012 - 13:50 | 3099312 kito
kito's picture

Can't do it this year, what about next year? ;)

Thu, 12/27/2012 - 13:52 | 3099321 fonzannoon
fonzannoon's picture

ha i see what i did there. sure next year.

Thu, 12/27/2012 - 15:16 | 3099558 kito
kito's picture

Lets talk about your New Years resolution regarding an avatar for zh......

Thu, 12/27/2012 - 17:11 | 3099842 Likstane
Likstane's picture

How about a pic of F-noon paddling a canoe in the parking lot of Home Depot during Superstorm Sandy?

Thu, 12/27/2012 - 13:51 | 3099308 Kaiser Sousa
Kaiser Sousa's picture

yeah, i saw that too...

cant stand that Max Headroom lookin clueless mother fucker....

cue that video in 6 months...and do an article here on Zh for that asshole to view....

make sure they reference it on CNBCLUELESS.....



Thu, 12/27/2012 - 14:09 | 3099380 catacl1sm
catacl1sm's picture

His buddy Najarian is saying "sell with both hands" before Jan 1.

Thu, 12/27/2012 - 13:35 | 3099258 SheepDog-One
SheepDog-One's picture

Retirement OFF? Oh noez! Time to impoverish the 18th downline generation then! Must. Come. Together. And rob.

Thu, 12/27/2012 - 13:36 | 3099260 Say What Again
Say What Again's picture

"Buy the Dip?"  I thought they were saying; "Place a Bid."

I just place an order at the Bid, and someone sells me their shares.

Then, I just place an order at the inside Ask, and again take my offer immediately.

No Frontrunning - Just an orderly market.


This is GREAT!!!



Thu, 12/27/2012 - 13:37 | 3099266 John McCloy
John McCloy's picture

This is the true rulers of what was formally "America" putting pressure on politicians to get a false deal done swifter regarding the fiscal cliff. Should get our late afternoon rumor regarding Boehner, Reid, Pelosi & The President meeting at Starbucks over Egg Nog lattes to hammer out a deal into the evening.

   Bottom Line: More papering over, plate spinning & endless Dog & Pony shows until the day only the frightening that we could not even comprehend such as gold confiscation, ATM withdrawal limits, bank holiday and the coming of the "New Alien & Sedition Acts, suspension of Habeus Corpus followed up with exectuive order suspending Posse Comitatus for when the SS checks stop going out or when they are worthless from inflation.

  And that is exactly why they are coming for the guns, the drones are firing up, NDAA is rocking and rolling, Patriot Act endures and Homeland Security is stocking up on ammo. Someone fucking hold me because I am scared.

Thu, 12/27/2012 - 13:45 | 3099295 Dr. Engali
Dr. Engali's picture

They are moving at a pretty fast clip now. It seems like everyday there is something new that they are up to.

Thu, 12/27/2012 - 15:05 | 3099533 lakecity55
lakecity55's picture

I think one canary in the coal mine will be the sudden disappearance of my favorite rant-impressario, Alex Jones.

We'll see one of those big DHS/Seized placards where the site used to be.

Thu, 12/27/2012 - 13:59 | 3099346 Peterus
Peterus's picture

In USA they can declare war on people by:

  • confiscating guns (unlikely, would turn brutal right away)
  • controling internet and maybe also going for talk radio 
  • opening up new front of war on terror - against "homegrown terrorists" and starting to arrest dissenters
  • confiscating gold (would not count on it - before $ really goes through the window

If they have good grip on army (drones will help a LOT with this, it's easier to control unarmed drone jockeys in the base, then actual infantry or armor in the field) and serious amount of supporters (let's say 20-30%) and intimidate majority into silent complicity - they can very well go full fascist totalitarian. This also might be the only way for rulers to save themselves and save thier grab on power - when SHTF. How could spoiled average american voter suffer slashing his standard of living by half or even more? And eventual hyperinflation and true market (I mean real free exchange - not numbers on Wall Street) meltdown might do just that. To save their own necks they might just go ahead and do it.

Thu, 12/27/2012 - 17:06 | 3099831 Freddie
Freddie's picture

The Germans have a fairly portable laser system that can take down drones.  Maybe the citizenry can build their own.

Most of this crap happened under FDR and the corrupt historians/history books lionized that evil POS. Just like Honest Abe.

Thu, 12/27/2012 - 13:41 | 3099278 Rathmullan
Rathmullan's picture

More importantly the S&P broke 1,400. If the S&P ends the year below 1,400 it makes gangnam lee look so fucking wrong and there is a poetic justice in that

Thu, 12/27/2012 - 13:42 | 3099279 blunderdog
blunderdog's picture

One of the funniest lines ever...  "It's not a pyramid scheme, you idiot.  It's a buy-the-dip scheme."

Thu, 12/27/2012 - 13:45 | 3099281 Bastiat
Bastiat's picture

Nice--looks like a last min fiscal cliff tax selloff.  Add this to the list of accomplishments of Obama's first term.

Thu, 12/27/2012 - 13:42 | 3099285 Dr. Engali
Dr. Engali's picture

I'll buy the fucking dip alright...the dip in gold.

Thu, 12/27/2012 - 13:44 | 3099288 CrimsonAvenger
CrimsonAvenger's picture

Boo fucking hoo. True value is somewhere around 4K.

Thu, 12/27/2012 - 13:46 | 3099296 Rustysilver
Rustysilver's picture

Forget the DOW; I am glad that Bankia is doing well.

Thu, 12/27/2012 - 13:52 | 3099318 insanelysane
insanelysane's picture

Corzine is looking to get back in the game.

Thu, 12/27/2012 - 14:00 | 3099350 Smuckers
Smuckers's picture

Fuck it, it's algo'ing to hell.


Thu, 12/27/2012 - 14:03 | 3099360 fuu
fuu's picture

Now we're just tired.

Thu, 12/27/2012 - 14:05 | 3099368 Kaiser Sousa
Kaiser Sousa's picture

MUST....KEEP.....DOW....AT OR AROUND.....13,000!!!!!!



look at this phony shit.....

Thu, 12/27/2012 - 14:12 | 3099394 Racer
Racer's picture

Market Watch? Why bother even looking at that web site, it is a waste of your life.... you only get one.

Thu, 12/27/2012 - 15:16 | 3099555 Kaiser Sousa
Kaiser Sousa's picture

trust me bro...i know this...

just peep for the chart on the Dow and S&P....

Thu, 12/27/2012 - 14:11 | 3099375 falak pema
falak pema's picture

Fiscal Cliff : if the repubs go all the way the US will be is a big recession spiral, this is crazy suicidal politics. 

Lynn Parramore: Orcs v. Goblins: Crazed Republicans Turn on Each Other in Ugly Fiscal Cliff Battle « naked capitalism

Thu, 12/27/2012 - 14:12 | 3099393 catacl1sm
catacl1sm's picture

It simply removes the mask and shows that borrowing is the only thing keeping US GDP positive. No way out now. A crash and reset is needed with true price discovery.

Thu, 12/27/2012 - 14:19 | 3099416 falak pema
falak pema's picture

not by the oligarchs...thats why its surprising that they don't get their own buddies to react in House.

Thu, 12/27/2012 - 14:33 | 3099448 Clark Bent
Clark Bent's picture

The sooner the better. However, color me surprised if we don't get the fucking last minute "save." The only rational thing for the House to do really is to pass a budget that balances this year, right now. Can't see how we can ever hope to hang onto reserve currency status if they don't. Sadly, this is the last thing I expect. Anyone who disagrees should watch re-runs of that corksucker Van Hollen arguing about the "draconian" cuts wanted by House Repubs at the merest hint of decelerating the growth of everything. Our government does not function and needs to be abolished. But we won't do that either. It is amazing to watch in morbid slow motion as our demise comes closer because nobody will beleive it. Everyone is convinced that nothing is happening. It is like a nightmare that you can't awaken from. 

Thu, 12/27/2012 - 17:22 | 3099870 Freddie
Freddie's picture

TV, the media and Hollywood keep telling the sheep everything is fine and the Republicans are evil to even think about cutting anything.

Anyone who watches TV and Hollywood's shit enables these people.

Thu, 12/27/2012 - 14:26 | 3099404 fuu
fuu's picture

Lynn Parramore = Max Fischer?

And I quote:

"Then there are the orcs. These are the lunatics who favored your Santorums, Gingrichs, Bachmanns, Herman Cains and so on — the assorted nuts in the GOP who are willing to fight ideological warfare with the battle cry “no taxes” and the battering rams of bad math and Ayn Rand-style social theory to send the land into total chaos. It's not enough for them to cut Social Security at a time when the retirement of hard-working Americans has not been so vulnerable since before the Great Depression. These monstrous right-wingers would rather see every American’s taxes rise than increase taxes on a single millionaire by a nickel. The orcs have got the upper hand in the House and it is they who have blocked a deal on the fiscal cliff. They were last seen dancing around a bonfire made from Econ 101 textbooks and an effigy of John Boehner."

Thu, 12/27/2012 - 14:08 | 3099377 Ned Zeppelin
Ned Zeppelin's picture

It is early in the afternoon - fear not, ye of little faith in pre-programmed VWAP reversions set on auto pilot while Fed folks vacation.  

Thu, 12/27/2012 - 15:02 | 3099525 Intoxicologist
Intoxicologist's picture

It's a f*ckin' sale!

Thu, 12/27/2012 - 15:55 | 3099656 Rockerchic
Rockerchic's picture

Didn't you hear? Social Security Disability is the new "Retirement." Just get a bipolar disorder diagnosis, and you are well on your way to a secure income stream, low-cost housing, 20% discount on energy and phone bills, free health care, free prescriptions, etc. etc. 



Thu, 12/27/2012 - 19:49 | 3100207 CheapBastard
CheapBastard's picture

Can I BTFD w/ my SNAP card?

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