Retirement-Off, Dow Breaks 13,000 (The Wrong Way)

Tyler Durden's picture

They said it could never happen again, but it just did (after some spirited defense). Millions of retiring boomers were just silenced (and sent back to work) by the slump (down triple digits) in the Dow Jones Industrial Average back below its magical 13,000 level. WWBBD?



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stant's picture

wheres my dow i mean gold 10,000 hat

NotApplicable's picture

Is Kevin Henry on vacation?

Richard Chesler's picture

Any boomer "fully invested" in stocks deserves to be vaporized.

insanelysane's picture

Can't believe people are missing out on this buying opportunity.  Can we use iTunes cards to buy stocks???

TruthInSunshine's picture

Don't worry anyone...these markets are so thin and such an epic joke that even a minor league piker propagandist like Weisenthal can move them with a barely decipherable article that's hearsay about, and I quote Joe Weasel-fail, "SCOTT BROWN'S BOTTOM."

We knew Joe Weisenthal was a d-list propagandist. Some may be surprised to learn that he's a twink that's heavily lusting after Scott Brown's "bear" bottom (Weisenthal is day dreaming right now about it being a power bottom).

Bears and Twinks
Middle_Finger_Market's picture

I liked Joe at first...then the liking began to fade, agreed. 

The trend is your friend's picture

Be careful of the PPT, i see some bidding in PCLN and AMZN

insanelysane's picture

He's cramping but the trainer is gonna tape him up and plop him in front of the terminal for the second half.

candyman's picture

BFD, I'm sick of this market is collapsing talk because of the FC. Tthe market is flat since August.  We need a real fuck^# downturn to get these politicians working. oooH "fear intensifies" and we are only off 13 on the spoos.

JPM Hater001's picture

Hat?  Where is the Pink elephants trunk?  It's time to celebrate.  Meet me at 4:20.

Larry Dallas's picture

"Millions of retiring boomers were just silenced (and sent back to work)..."

Where? What work? I'm sure at least part those same millions would want a job.

Millions of retiring boomers were just silenced (and forced to collect disability)...

Fixed it for ya!

Bad Attitude's picture

"Where? What work?"

Walmart. It's indoors with heating/air conditioning. It beats shoveling porcine excrement in the hot sun.

And, Walmart sells ammo!

doggings's picture

haha love that video, funny as.. from the time of the big silver run if I remember right.

but we are now teetering on the edge of  SellTheFuckingBounce territory

camaro68ss's picture

The horror..... O the horror...

O be one bernake, your our only hope, you must print faster.

bernake- "im given it all shes got captain."

Thomas's picture

The humor...oh, the humor...

Flounder's picture

All will be resolved once AMZN starts paying a 4% quarterly dividend.

Super Broccoli's picture

well it's going back up don't worry :-)

Stoploss's picture

IDK, but the intergalactic, massively rare, metallic chemical element is responding.

Cursive's picture

Memo to CNBS:  Get the Dow 10,000 hats out of storage for 2013.

Debeachesand Jerseyshores's picture

Time to cash in any profits from stocks etc before the sunset of the Bush Tax Cuts.

muppet_master's picture

yes "retirement"

quick everyone, BUY INTO THE PONZI SCHEME = you can "retire" with illnesses. LOL !!

ahhh, where is MADOFF WHEN YOU NEED HIM ??  ROFLMAO !!

Toolshed's picture


The obvious answer - Ctrl-P.......all the way to the gallows baby!!

I Got Worms's picture

Benny B: "Release the Kraken!!"

camaro68ss's picture

Kraken? Is this the latest printing model?

It prints 2x faster then before!!!

XitSam's picture

Bernanke: How many zeros will fit on a dollar bill?

Yellen: At the current size, approximately fifty.

Bernanke: That's not enough. What if we make the zeros smaller?

Yellen: If the zeros are too small, people won't know what they are spending.

Bernanke: What if we make all bills the same, redeemable for one loaf of bread.

Yellen: Bread redeemable for bread! Brilliant!

saturn's picture

Somebody could try to arm themselvez with old enough bread!

MeelionDollerBogus's picture

utter nonsense! Just like greeting cards with piezoelectric speakers they should ANNOUNCE how many zero's are on the bill!

MeelionDollerBogus's picture

It's got a dozen ethernet cables for tentacles and on each end a laughing Krugman face spitting out billions per minute of FRN's!

Banksters's picture

The pension/retirement funds are seed money for the ponzi.    They won't get shit for retirement.   

pine_marten's picture

Retirement savings?  Dead man walking.  Inflation & taxation will devour what the prudent have set aside.

MachoMan's picture

Kind of...  the prudent are setting aside guns, ammo, food, and a myriad of other things that seem to be going up in scarcity and price...  (faster than inflation).  The writing has been on the wall for quite a while to get out what you can from the system...  and that your retirement is nothing but dangling meat in the shark tank.

Prudence doesn't exist in a vacuum...  nor does it remain constant...  the rules of yesteryear have nothing to do with the rules (and risk) of today.

yogibear's picture

"They said it could never happen again" 

Who is "They"? Consider the source of the statement. What interest do "They" have in making such a statement.

Someone in real estate also said back in the early 80's also stated rates would never drop below 12%.  What happened?


Super Broccoli's picture

nah ... going to settle around 13055 tonight. Dropping to 12975 tommorow. Then Obama and Boehner magicaly find an agreement and it goes thru the roof again !

PeeramidIdeologies's picture

Yep, the downhill hill run is nearly done...

surf0766's picture

Who gives a rats ass about the boomers.

Sudden Debt's picture

I care as much about them as they care about us.... ZERO!!!!

Waterfallsparkles's picture

Just a way to scare the few remaining people out of the Market forever.

emersonreturn's picture

'they only care about the Dow...'  some politicans will do anything to get their way.

razorthin's picture

Retirement off?  Not mine.  Positioned in miners and global resources.

orangegeek's picture

Dow Jones Weekly has been toyed with for some time to keep it up.


It's going to be interesting to see Q4 results.  It isn't going to be pretty.

dobermangang's picture

Buy guns and ammo.  That's what everybody else seems to be doing.

Freddie's picture

What PMags? What ammo? What guns?  I wonder how many mags MagPul can make per day?   They are probably running flat out. Lancer and Troy too.

GCT's picture

Hell if your buying pmags right now your crazy.  Bought mine long before all this AWB started.  Fools are paying alot of bucks fror all these scare tactics.  Hmmm maybe the gov did this on purpose to make the retail sales look better after everything else looked like shit.  Guys tell the world we are going to ban AWB and all gear and they will go out and pay stupid prices for this stuff.  Problem solved with these miserable retail sale numbers!   LOLOL

The Joker's picture

...and your silver bullets.

muppet_master's picture

"THEY" said

it could NEVER happen again (dow below 13k) THEY = the stupid "REPORTERS" ?? LOL !!

djia @ 13k, DOWN -4.7% from Oct 2012 high of 13.6k...= OMG !!! ITS THE END OF THE WORLD...bc the ponzi scheme is down -4.7% from its high....

NEVER MIND that it got pumped up more than 100% since 6.6k on 3-2009 by raping the 99% with debt + inflation...