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2012: A Phelps Odyssey

Tyler Durden's picture


The 2012 Olympics was shaping up as Ryan Lochte's breakout year, and in many respects it was. But more than anything, the London Olympics turned out to be the swan song of Michael Phelps, who hours ago completed his final Olympic event and retired from the sport of swimming where is now inducted in perpetuity into the swimming hall of fame with not only a record 18 Olympic gold medals, twice as many more as any other Olympian, in a career that stretches from Athens through Beijing and concludes with London, but a record 22 medals of all colors. What was Phelps final tally in the 2012 Olympics, how does that compare to Lochte's total, and how did the London Olympic swim times compare to Bejing? The infographic below will answer all questions.

Some more on Phelps' final blaze of glory in the pool.

 As if 22 medal ceremonies over the last three Olympics weren't enough, Michael Phelps was summoned back to the pool deck for one more accolade.

This time, he received a trophy rather than a medal, an award that sought to sum up a career like no other.


"To Michael Phelps," it said, "the greatest Olympic athlete of all time."


Too bad it was silver.


Gold was the only color for this guy.


In a final race that was more a coronation than a contest, Phelps headed into retirement the only way imaginable — with an 18th gold medal. Reclaiming the lead with his trademark butterfly stroke, the one seen in his Olympic debut as a 15-year-old in Sydney a dozen years ago, he capped off a mind-boggling career with a victory in the 4x100-meter medley relay Saturday.


"I've been able to do everything that I wanted," Phelps said.


When it was done, he hugged his teammates — Matt Grevers, Brendan Hansen and Nathan Adrian — before heading off the deck for the final time in his hip-hugging swimsuit. He waved to the crowd and smiled, clearly at peace with his decision to call it a career.


And what a career it was!


"I was able to really put the final cherry on top tonight, put all the whipped cream I wanted and sprinkles. I was able to top off the sundae," Phelps said. "It's been a great career. It's been a great journey. I can't be any more happy than I am."


Phelps retires with twice as many golds as any other Olympian, and his total of 22 medals is easily the best mark, too. He can be quite proud of his final Olympics as well, even though there were times he had trouble staying motivated after winning a record eight gold medals at the Beijing Games four years ago.


The 27-year-old could surely swim on for another Olympics, maybe two, but there's really no point.


"I told myself I never want to swim when I'm 30," Phelps said. "No offense to those people who are 30, but that was something I always said to myself, and that would be in three years. I just don't want to swim for those three years."


He hugged his longtime coach, Bob Bowman, who was teary eyed as he whispered three words that said it all, "I love you." Their partnership was formed 16 years ago, when Bowman took a gangly, hyperactive kid with an extraordinary gift and helped turn him into a swimmer the likes of which the world had never seen.


"Bob and I have somehow managed to do every single thing," Phelps said. "If you can say that about your career, there's no need to move forward. Time for other things."


Bouncing back from a disappointing first race in London, a fourth-place finish in the 400 individual medley, Phelps wound up with more medals than any other swimmer at the games: four golds and two silvers.


Sounds familiar.


"Honestly, the first race kind of took the pressure off," Bowman said. "If it's not going to go too well, we should at least have fun while we're here. That helped us relax a little bit, then he started swimming well in the relays and he picked it up again."


Grevers had the Americans in front on the opening backstroke leg, but Kosuke Kitajima put Japan slightly ahead going against Hansen in the breaststroke. Not to worry, not with Phelps going next.


He surged through the water in the fly, handing off a lead of about a quarter of a second to Adrian for the freesytle anchor. The Americans won going away in 3 minutes, 29.35 seconds, just off their own Olympic record from Beijing. Japan held on for silver in 3:31.26, with Australia taking the bronze in 3:31.68.


The U.S. men had never lost the medley relay at the Olympics, and they weren't about to now on the final night of swimming at the Olympic Aquatics Centre, on the final night for such a momentous athlete.


How momentous? The governing body of swimming, FINA, broke with Olympic protocol to present Phelps with an award recognizing his entire body of work. While a video montage played on the board, he made one more victory lap around the pool, even stopping off again at the medal podium he spent so much time on during the Olympics.

"Wow," he said. "I couldn't ask to finish on a better note."

Read more here.

We can only hope that unlike Lance Armstrong's retroactive humiliation, that no discoveries are made in the future regarding "collocated" stimulants, which detract from what has otherwise been a spectacular athletic lifetime achievement.


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Sat, 08/04/2012 - 20:48 | 2678774 rigeltrader
rigeltrader's picture

Balco bitchez!!

Sat, 08/04/2012 - 21:00 | 2678787 Eireann go Brach
Eireann go Brach's picture

Phelps will now attempt to legalize pot everywhere!

Sat, 08/04/2012 - 21:17 | 2678817 Atlas_shrugging
Atlas_shrugging's picture

He didn't swim that

Sat, 08/04/2012 - 22:03 | 2678877 thatthingcanfly
thatthingcanfly's picture

This joke will NEVER stop being funny.

Sat, 08/04/2012 - 22:06 | 2678881 Dr. Engali
Dr. Engali's picture

He didn't write that joke ..

Sat, 08/04/2012 - 22:43 | 2678922 Precious
Precious's picture

You didn't figure that out.

Sat, 08/04/2012 - 23:53 | 2678979 Thomas
Thomas's picture

You didn't just realize that.

Sun, 08/05/2012 - 00:07 | 2678996 b-rad-is-rad
b-rad-is-rad's picture

Oh no you didn'tttt!

Sun, 08/05/2012 - 05:50 | 2679150 Element
Element's picture

What? ... the Olympics were on? ... damn ... missed it again!

Sun, 08/05/2012 - 09:49 | 2679291 Tippoo Sultan
Tippoo Sultan's picture

The first phone call Phelps received was a congratulatory one, from his mother.

The second call was from the IRS, instructing Phelps where to remit the taxes owed on the prize value of his eighteen medals.

Sun, 08/05/2012 - 12:46 | 2679553 redpill
redpill's picture

He didn't earn that!

















Which begs the question, should one be taxably liable for something one supposedly did not earn?  Hmm

Mon, 08/06/2012 - 03:50 | 2681034 AldousHuxley
AldousHuxley's picture

swimming = white folks' track and field.


why so many medal events for same shit? styles, medleys, relays.....


olympics are simple way for rich countries to feel good about themselves being able to tell olympics committee which sports are included and which are not.

Sat, 08/04/2012 - 21:32 | 2678840 duo
duo's picture

I guess it's on to banging 17 year old swimmers in the Olympic village next week.

Sat, 08/04/2012 - 23:06 | 2678940 Mr Pink
Mr Pink's picture

One week every 4 years when every beer drinking, potato chip cramming, 401k loving dipshit gives a shit how fast some geek can swim...WHO THE FUCK CARES?! 

Sun, 08/05/2012 - 00:12 | 2678954 Ima anal sphincter
Ima anal sphincter's picture

I'm afraid I'll have to agree. I admire the athletes for training so hard, but I've got no interest in the games. To much media BS. I compare the Olympics to the Nobel Prize, a hollowed out shell of something that once was special.

Sun, 08/05/2012 - 02:06 | 2679081 Lore
Lore's picture



I'm just glad my town is not stuck with the bill.

The Olympics industrial complex is a scourge on taxpayers.

Sun, 08/05/2012 - 10:01 | 2679259 Pool Shark
Pool Shark's picture



Too many damned swimming events: SEVENTEEN!

If you're a marathon runner, you work and train for a single chance at ONE gold medal. Same thing with soccer, boxing, basketball, vollyball, water polo and sailing. If you're a sprinter rather than a swimmer, you've got a chance for maybe TWO or THREE medals at most.

No wonder Phelps (like Mark Spitz before him) has so many medals; they have events for every distance and swim stroke you can imagine...

[P.S. yes, I am a swimmer...]

Sun, 08/05/2012 - 13:37 | 2679676 Bay of Pigs
Bay of Pigs's picture

Yeah, and everyone can butterfly so easily...


Sun, 08/05/2012 - 14:11 | 2679778 DosZap
DosZap's picture

If you're a marathon runner, you work and train for a single chance at ONE gold medal

Er', doesn't everyone pick the sport they wish to pursue?.Uh,yeah.

Would anyone pick a sport that would not give the best chance at winning?.Yeah, if they were stupid.

Genetics and hard work is the key to their success. Lots of folks were right on his ass,and he won by a mere blink, or less many times.

Give the man his due.HE earned it,unlike the Wall Street and Bankster crews.

Mon, 08/06/2012 - 00:02 | 2680891 zuuma
zuuma's picture

I, for one, Am very tired of the over-exposed/hyped Mr. Phelps.

Talented? sure! Amazing, even.May he enjoy the apex of life, today.

For the ladies, looking at Phelps must be something like what a guy would think looking at Adriana Lima's body with Hillary Clinton's face.

Some great topography, but from the neck up... GA-A-A-A-A-AH

He'll be ticketed for DWI or possesion inside of 12 months.

Sat, 08/04/2012 - 22:10 | 2678885 max2205
max2205's picture

Difference between swimming and trading: Ben is not a judge

Sun, 08/05/2012 - 08:37 | 2679223 I am on to you
I am on to you's picture

The Goldmanpimp/olympicis.didnt se that either or is it Neither.

Sat, 08/04/2012 - 23:22 | 2678775 Precious
Sat, 08/04/2012 - 20:51 | 2678781 Camtender
Camtender's picture

"The Chronic", Bitches

Sat, 08/04/2012 - 20:55 | 2678782 Spastica Rex
Spastica Rex's picture

Winners do so do drugs.

Sat, 08/04/2012 - 20:58 | 2678784 doomandbloom
doomandbloom's picture

Lets smoke pot, bitchez

Sat, 08/04/2012 - 21:01 | 2678792 Dr. Engali
Dr. Engali's picture

I wonder what his tax bill will be for winning those medals.

Sat, 08/04/2012 - 21:21 | 2678821 Spastica Rex
Spastica Rex's picture

Barbaric relics.

Sun, 08/05/2012 - 02:12 | 2679082 tenpanhandle
tenpanhandle's picture

fake barbaric relics

Sun, 08/05/2012 - 11:07 | 2679362 Vendetta
Vendetta's picture

shouldn't be much, 6 grams of gold in the gold medal.  Last pure gold medals awarded in 1912, year before the squids of currency, the federal reserve, was slid into existence.

Sun, 08/05/2012 - 13:36 | 2679677 DosZap
DosZap's picture

I wonder what his tax bill will be for winning those medals.

Why should there be tax on metals that the contents are almost worthless.

Approx 9k per Gold?.They have less than 5% gold in them.............silver, and base metal.

They should be solid Gold,Silver,and Bronze.The sacrifice and costs to these people who represent OUR NATION is mind boggling, not counting the years of work,self sacrifice it takes just to GET there,much less WIN any.

And the IRS should NEVER tax them,the costs incurred to attain those medals is 100x's + more than their value.

Sun, 08/05/2012 - 13:41 | 2679700 Bay of Pigs
Bay of Pigs's picture

5%? No, 1.4% is more like it.


Sun, 08/05/2012 - 14:14 | 2679785 DosZap
DosZap's picture

Cant read??.

 less than 5% gold

Mon, 08/06/2012 - 00:07 | 2680894 zuuma
zuuma's picture

We are forgetting the cash prize included with the oversized, plated slugs the winners receive.

IIRC, gold medals winners get $25000 per medal.


So.. his taxes will be roughly $8500 each.  Much more if he lives in a high-tax, blue state.

The USA may be the only country that taxes Olympic winnings. Bahhhhhh!

Sat, 08/04/2012 - 21:02 | 2678793 gimli
gimli's picture

When I swim I make gaseous bubbles ..... actually they are reminiscent of FED policy.

Sat, 08/04/2012 - 21:03 | 2678794 Seasmoke
Seasmoke's picture

Lochte parents house is in foreclosure......and he owes the IRS for winning some medals......SPLASH !

Sat, 08/04/2012 - 23:23 | 2678919 Precious
Precious's picture

Short sale "as is" due to strange yellow swimming pool.

Sat, 08/04/2012 - 21:05 | 2678797 beachdude
beachdude's picture

The what? The Olympics?

Who cares?

Sat, 08/04/2012 - 21:39 | 2678853 RockyRacoon
RockyRacoon's picture

I was wondering when somebody was going to ask how to trade this information on Monday morning.

Your comment will do in its absence.

Sat, 08/04/2012 - 21:07 | 2678799 lolmao500
lolmao500's picture

The last hurrah of America before the downfall into the abyss.

Sat, 08/04/2012 - 21:15 | 2678811 jhalmos
jhalmos's picture

Unbelievable achievement. Not so sure he can be called the greatest Olympian though. He's got the quantity, that's for sure. But there are so many oportunities to win medals in swimming. And though it's one of the hardest sports, there's not a lot of skills he had to learn, say, compared to a decathelon competitor. Then again, his wins are broad within the sport. I'm torn. 

But this is ZH on a Saturday eve, so I have to say something trite and spell words like Chuck D but connect it to the collapsing American Fiat Empire, so...

Phelps gotz more gold on his mantle than Ft Knox gotz in it's basement, bitchez!


Sun, 08/05/2012 - 18:44 | 2680308 Monedas
Monedas's picture

Yeah, he needs to join the Peace Corp and grow as a human being .... fuck you !

Sat, 08/04/2012 - 21:15 | 2678814 Squid Vicious
Squid Vicious's picture

both douche-tards

Sat, 08/04/2012 - 21:16 | 2678816 grunk
grunk's picture

Take a couple of years off to screw everything in sight. Then retire.

Sat, 08/04/2012 - 21:25 | 2678828 RobotTrader
RobotTrader's picture

Phelps is now free to take an unlimited amount of steriods and pursue a career in some other sport where "the juice" is welcomed.

I bet that guy could muscle up to about 240 lbs. and swim the English Channel or Cuba to Miami or something.

Sat, 08/04/2012 - 22:12 | 2678889 10044
10044's picture

You know, sometimes you just make "dumb" now

Sun, 08/05/2012 - 08:36 | 2679221 francis_sawyer
francis_sawyer's picture

You could take unlimited amount of stereoids too & have your dick shrivel up... Oh wait!

Sat, 08/04/2012 - 21:26 | 2678830 MinnesotaMD
MinnesotaMD's picture

Take plenty of Gatorade G2 with ample azithromycin to fend off gonorrhea and chlamydia(at least the stuff that is still drug sensitive.

Wait till HIV mutates. Could claim all of our best divers, and a fair number of Bronies too.

Sat, 08/04/2012 - 21:33 | 2678843 duo
duo's picture


Sat, 08/04/2012 - 21:39 | 2678846 putbuyer
putbuyer's picture

QE?  Bring back Marla music and fuck the bullshit

Sat, 08/04/2012 - 21:41 | 2678857 Hulk
Hulk's picture

Never fucking give up Bitchez!!!

Sat, 08/04/2012 - 21:54 | 2678872 Apostate2
Apostate2's picture

Well said Hulk!

Sat, 08/04/2012 - 21:43 | 2678861 Darkness
Darkness's picture


Sat, 08/04/2012 - 22:09 | 2678883 GOLDTEETHSILVER...

Test the water. Follow the yellow brick road...

Sat, 08/04/2012 - 22:11 | 2678888 YesWeKahn
YesWeKahn's picture

Wait, he swimmed faster, he must have taken drugs or used genetic mutation in the same way as the chinese swimmer Ye. The freaken idiot US caoch is such disgrace.

Sat, 08/04/2012 - 22:12 | 2678890 sangell
sangell's picture

Something strange going on at the Olympics when a white American passes all but one African runner to get a Silver medal in the the 10k event.

Sat, 08/04/2012 - 22:55 | 2678931 IMA5U
IMA5U's picture

That's because the Africans were not being chased by the 5.0.


Sat, 08/04/2012 - 22:12 | 2678891 mt paul
mt paul's picture

he is still slower

than your average walrus..

Sat, 08/04/2012 - 23:21 | 2678952 Dr. Kenneth Noi...
Dr. Kenneth Noisewater's picture

And a walrus can't hold a joint, so what's yer point?

Sun, 08/05/2012 - 11:11 | 2679369 Vendetta
Vendetta's picture

walrus' don't wear speedos and weigh up to 3700 lbs?  If they had opposable thumbs they would hold the joints just fine.

Sat, 08/04/2012 - 22:54 | 2678930 IMA5U
IMA5U's picture

Phelps: Proving that Stoners can be great.


He takes hits from the bong and is one of the greatest athletes of all time.


He should be on the cover of High Times.

Sat, 08/04/2012 - 23:18 | 2678949 WonderDawg
WonderDawg's picture

Damn right. Could you imagine the lung capacity of that guy? Hope he's bringing his own weed.

Sat, 08/04/2012 - 23:03 | 2678938 reader2010
reader2010's picture

he might have benefitted from lance armstrong's techniques. 

Sat, 08/04/2012 - 23:12 | 2678944 AU5K
AU5K's picture

There's so many swimming events, its kind of ridiculous.  The track equivalent would be races at 70M, 80M, 90M, 100M, 110M, 120M and 150M.  Then bolt would win 7 golds too.

Sun, 08/05/2012 - 04:07 | 2679125 Winston of Oceania
Winston of Oceania's picture

Never learned to swim eh? Could be shriveld penis envy.

Sun, 08/05/2012 - 10:39 | 2679321 Holden Caulfield
Holden Caulfield's picture

Then running backwards at 70M, 80M, 90M, 100M, 110M, 120M and 150M. Then skipping at 70M, 80M, 90M, 100M, 110M, 120M and 150M. Then the hurdles at 70M, 80M, 90M, 100M, 110M, 120M and 150M. Then Bolt could rack up 21 too.

Sat, 08/04/2012 - 23:20 | 2678950 bob_dabolina
bob_dabolina's picture

And Phelps paid something like 70,000-80,000 USD in taxes for the privilege of winning those medals.

But again, Phelps didn't win those medals. Someone had to build the pool. Someone had to manufacture his swimsuit. He didn't do that. Lemme tell ya' there's a whole lot of good swimmers out there. He didn't do that.

Sun, 08/05/2012 - 00:03 | 2678991 Double.Eagle.Gold
Double.Eagle.Gold's picture

He should be forced to share all of those metals

He didn't do that, gobermint made this all possible.

Sun, 08/05/2012 - 00:49 | 2679037 lizzy36
lizzy36's picture

He didn't do it alone. Phelps will be the first to tell you that. He said just that in an interview tonight. 

But what Phelps also sure as hell said, was that it was him and him alone that made the commitment to be the best. He was the one that didn't miss a practice, not for christmas, not for his b-day, not to get drunk, and certainly because he didn't "feel like it" from 2003-2008. Five years, not one missed day. 

Who knows whether he doped or not. I choose to believe not. I choose to believe that he is a genetic freak, who worked harder than everyone else around him, who sacrificed his youth and except for one year after the last Olympics, his 20's, in pursuit of excellence. 

What we see at the Olympics is the result of 4, 8, 10 years of training, day in and day out sacrifice, by not just the athlete but by everyone in their life. 

Micheal Phelps won those medals. Every single one of them.

How the hell the US gets off on taxing medal winners is beyond me. Figure this idiotic policy has Turbo Timmy's handprints all over it.

Sun, 08/05/2012 - 00:53 | 2679042 thatthingcanfly
thatthingcanfly's picture

Complete. Miss.

Sun, 08/05/2012 - 01:48 | 2679069 bob_dabolina
bob_dabolina's picture

So lizzy was Phelps successful because of:

i. Being a "genetic freak"

ii. His coaches.

iii. His hard work and determination to be the best.

You can only choose one. I want the single most determining factor.

Sun, 08/05/2012 - 12:16 | 2679489 lizzy36
lizzy36's picture

I am going to be really honest here.

I am also going to use the common law test for negligence "but for" because it works here.

And "but for" his genetics, he would not have won 22 olympic gold medals. I could put in the same amount of work as phelps, with the same coaches and not even qualify for nationals. The "but for" factor is his genetics.

Now in the same breath i will say the genetics are necessary BUT NOT sufficient to make him the champion he is. 

He was gifted his genetic male-up. His personal sacrifice and work ethic, his desire to be the best, and his daily commitment to that goal are what set him apart. 

Let the nature vs. nuture debate begin.

Sun, 08/05/2012 - 12:41 | 2679545 bob_dabolina
bob_dabolina's picture

So do genetics play a roll in race as it pertains to testing scores like the SAT? Asked another way, is there a reason other than genetics one group scores lower (or higher) than another?

Sun, 08/05/2012 - 12:59 | 2679587 John_Coltrane
John_Coltrane's picture

Parents and their Culture.  see Jewish and Asian cultures and respect for the work ethic and education as examples and their results (Einstein, Feynmann, Gel Mann etc.)

Sun, 08/05/2012 - 13:43 | 2679708 Cosimo de Medici
Cosimo de Medici's picture

Accident of birth, then commitment and discipline.  Had to have all three, but without the genetics, the rest would have been meaningless.  That does not take away from the accomplishment, however.

Most of us are allotted certain gifts in a random Universe.  Hopefully we take advantage of them.  Phelps certainly did.  Kudos to him.  Those of us lacking his particular skill at least have the capacity to enjoy, unless we're so caught up in doomsterism that we cannot spare the time.  Too bad.  The occasional smile is good for the soul.

By the way lizzy (above), nice post.

Sun, 08/05/2012 - 07:11 | 2679180 BattlegroundEur...
BattlegroundEurope2011's picture

now he can get a proper job like the rest of us.

Sun, 08/05/2012 - 03:22 | 2679110 AnAnonymous
AnAnonymous's picture

But again, Phelps didn't win those medals. Someone had to build the pool. Someone had to manufacture his swimsuit. He didn't do that. Lemme tell ya' there's a whole lot of good swimmers out there. He didn't do that.

You mean that US citizens spend an incredible amount of resources on vain activities, and as the all time champions of mindless consumption?

Welcome to the US world order.

Sun, 08/05/2012 - 13:42 | 2679705 Cosimo de Medici
Cosimo de Medici's picture

Yes, we could be making poison dog food and carnival prizes, between spitting and defecating on the sidewalk.  What the heck got into us?  Where did we go wrong?


Sat, 08/04/2012 - 23:27 | 2678958 Frank N. Beans
Frank N. Beans's picture

phelps is a phreak


Sat, 08/04/2012 - 23:51 | 2678973 Nikao7
Nikao7's picture

How fitting that during the medals ceremony for women's tennis that the American Flag came loose and fell to the ground.


"As "The Star-Spangled Banner" played, the crowd gasped as the American flag broke free of its crossbar and floated down behind a purple barricade between the stands and the court."


Sun, 08/05/2012 - 11:19 | 2679379 Vendetta
Vendetta's picture

karma.  Politicians have been sitting on the flag in a cesspool of corruption for decades and so few see that... but a china made flag falling during games and they gasp ... strange .. karma is very strange.

Sun, 08/05/2012 - 00:01 | 2678989 Fix It Again Timmy
Fix It Again Timmy's picture

I suppose some Senator will propose that we carpet bomb England since our flag was disgraced...

Sun, 08/05/2012 - 00:06 | 2678995 q99x2
q99x2's picture

Maybe in 2016 the monthly cable fees will be low enough that I'll be able to see the olympics or my stomach will have a lower priority. I could fantasise that I'll have a job by then but I don't think so unless I give in and apply at DHS. DHS will have better equipment during the revolution but I don't know. I'll have to think about it. 

Sun, 08/05/2012 - 01:04 | 2679048 Scalaris
Scalaris's picture


They are all silver anyway, plus some tin.

Sun, 08/05/2012 - 03:54 | 2679122 awakening
Sun, 08/05/2012 - 02:09 | 2679080 gmcniff
gmcniff's picture


Nothing will ever come close to the miracle at Lake Placid.  It not just about how many times you win…it’s who you beat.  That memory will always be the "gold standard".


ZH Editor: Phelps’ Olympic career spanned from Sydney to London.  He won his first medals in Athens.  


Sun, 08/05/2012 - 02:37 | 2679091 Divine Wind
Divine Wind's picture



This cat eats 6-8000 calories at a sitting.

If he is retiring and he keeps eating like that he will end up with ass spread like Michele Obama and thighs like Hillary.

And fast.


Sun, 08/05/2012 - 03:07 | 2679101 weyes1
weyes1's picture

Lance Armstrong, Flloyd Landis, Carl Lewis - and the list goes on and on and on.  Righteous indignation til the very end.  Phelps will almost certainly fall too, but to no avail, as the yanks can't stand the idea of being declared anything other than the best - in everything.  Fraud has become so deeply engrained in the american construct, it is a wonder anyone takes them seriously. Economics, trade, commerce, business, politics, law, war. The rules simply don't apply to the Americans. Best you just lay low for a while, and come back when you have learned to play fair. 

Sun, 08/05/2012 - 03:43 | 2679117 Divine Wind
Divine Wind's picture



"as the yanks can't stand the idea of being declared anything other than the best - in everything."


Yes, America has some problems. Part of the reason that your country does not is that your athletes suck so bad that even with doping, you still suck, just more.

Doping charges are never called on the loosers. Thus, this is why they are always Americans.

On everything this and everything else, part of the reason America is great is because we are driven to be number one.

You can have second place.

So fuck off and get out of the way, looser.



Sun, 08/05/2012 - 07:25 | 2679188 memyselfiu
memyselfiu's picture

Yeah looser, weere furstest and the bestest!

Sun, 08/05/2012 - 13:05 | 2679601 John_Coltrane
John_Coltrane's picture

May I suggest you "eat shit and die"

(I've actually got a t-shirt that says that, and one even funnier with a picture of a mushroom cloud and the saying "Made in America, tested in Japan")

Sun, 08/05/2012 - 13:42 | 2679704 Cosimo de Medici
Cosimo de Medici's picture

Carl Lewis?  No.  You don't know Carl Lewis.

Sun, 08/05/2012 - 15:55 | 2680023 Totin
Totin's picture

"Lance Armstrong, Flloyd Landis, Carl Lewis - and the list goes on and on and on."

That was really weak dude. Phelps has more medals than 90% of the participating countries.

Sun, 08/05/2012 - 04:14 | 2679127 falak pema
falak pema's picture

the second olympic week for swimmers is a fest; that their fellow olympians on the track will never know.

The luck of the draw. The consumption of condoms amongst the swimmers in week two is ominous. 

20 gold medals, all in a week, is more fun than over a career! Calorific content guaranteed, mulligans galore and tee times upto late nite when Big Ben stops chiming and counting the long count...

Should the world be jealous that young guns fire a salvo to their seemingly eternal youth at its most intense hiatus.

Who cares! As the wings of time get clipped for all of us! 

Sun, 08/05/2012 - 04:31 | 2679131 Gringo Viejo
Gringo Viejo's picture

I'd like Bob Costas to sit on my lap and sing "Misty" to me. Other than that.....I don't give a husky shit.

Sun, 08/05/2012 - 05:07 | 2679140 Xando
Xando's picture

He has the physique. He has a big wingspan, big hands, big feet. All that can translate into swimming glory, should you pursue it. Phelps did. He's a machine built for speed in the water. He's lucky for that, but he never would have amounted to anything at Olympic levels unless he gave it everything he had. Luck got him to the door, his drive got him through it.

Sun, 08/05/2012 - 09:39 | 2679275 Stuck on Zero
Stuck on Zero's picture

I hate to denigrate his achievements but only in swimming with its ridiculous number of short events can an athlete earn so many medals. Not one event up there lasts more than a minute of two.  Imagine that in the track event they put in 10m, 11m, 12m, 13m, ... sprint events.  Then track stars could win the most events.  How the hell does a marathoner pick up 10 gold medals?  Call me crazy but the swimming events are overloaded.


Sun, 08/05/2012 - 09:56 | 2679294 FiatFapper
FiatFapper's picture

America, a nation of mud-bloods.

Sun, 08/05/2012 - 15:49 | 2680007 Totin
Totin's picture

Those 56 medals burning your ass?

Sun, 08/05/2012 - 10:08 | 2679298 Hurdy Gurdy Man
Hurdy Gurdy Man's picture

What's next for Phelps?

Scene: Michael Phelps walks along a New Orleans ocean beach during sunrise...


"Hi, I'm Michael Phelps. A long time ago, BP faced a challenge in the water, as I had many times before.  But like myself at the Olympics, BP rose to the challenge, and "cleaned up" in the water.  So come on back to the Gulf again.  Let's swim."

[Runs into water, dives in.]

Sun, 08/05/2012 - 10:23 | 2679304 Wood
Wood's picture

The Olympics will be so much more interesting when they start fighting to the death. Nothing fills empty seats like the prospect of blood.

Sun, 08/05/2012 - 12:47 | 2679557 Monedas
Monedas's picture

I especially liked "Children's Day" at the Coliseum !     The lions had to play "catch and release" with the Christians !        Monedas     1929        Comedy Jihad Socialism Draws On All The Barbarism Of Human History .... And Still Doesn't Work

Sun, 08/05/2012 - 10:32 | 2679316 Kalevi
Kalevi's picture


The only thing about this stupid circus I was expecting on this site was the ridiculous amount of money the British tax payers are going to pay, or the juicy corruption involved.


You could just not help your self Tyler, need to bring some gringo excellence!

OK, I'm sooo impressed, happy?

Can we go back to normal programming now?


Thank you & brgds

Sun, 08/05/2012 - 10:51 | 2679340 Holden Caulfield
Holden Caulfield's picture

Next stop Hollywood. Tarzan the Ape Man series. Who will be Jane?

Sun, 08/05/2012 - 12:21 | 2679503 Monedas
Monedas's picture

You think the hollywood socialist scumbags are going to promote an American champion ?    He got more press when he smoked a little weed !

Sun, 08/05/2012 - 11:06 | 2679360 TheFineKid
TheFineKid's picture

This thread just helped me see the error of my ways. After reading the article I was thinking about how great his achievements really were and expected to see a couple of cool comments. After speed reading a 100 or so posts not one fucking nice word? What a group of scumbags. This guy through nothing but fucking hard work becomes the best his sport has ever seen and all you fat out of shape fucking losers can't think of one nice thing to say. What a bunch of dickbags. Thanks ZH for the post and thanks Micheal Phelps I enjoyed watching your ride. There are things in this world that are still good.

Sun, 08/05/2012 - 11:31 | 2679395 Vendetta
Vendetta's picture

the comments aren't really about Phelps, its really about the state of the union and its fiscal disaster... this is ZH not ESPN. 

Sun, 08/05/2012 - 12:19 | 2679498 Monedas
Monedas's picture

Did you read the headline story to this thread ?

Sun, 08/05/2012 - 11:42 | 2679421 ultraticum
ultraticum's picture

Lil Wayne and Jay Z on the crack ho pimp head phones. Amazing athlete, but when handed a one in a million amount of fame, and chance to be a true role model, as usual, he sorely disappoints.

Sun, 08/05/2012 - 11:44 | 2679428 thefedisscam
thefedisscam's picture

How much of Phelps previous gold medal and broke world record were due to the High tech shark skin swimming suit? Which is banned from the current London Olympic.

My guess is at least 50% of them.

Sun, 08/05/2012 - 12:15 | 2679488 Monedas
Monedas's picture

The sum of all the negative socialist karma was against him at all time .... that didn't work .... now to rewrite history .... again !        Monedas       1929         Comedy Jihad Start By Blaming The Swim Trunks

Sun, 08/05/2012 - 12:19 | 2679500 linrom
linrom's picture

Why are women swimming in burkas? Actually swimming as an Olympic sport is a joke. Almost all the medal winners come from lines 3, 4;5 and 6. This is a bias that's impossible to overcome, hence the results are meaningless. Stick Phelps in line 8 and let's see how many medals he would've gotten.


Sun, 08/05/2012 - 12:39 | 2679539 Monedas
Monedas's picture

Well, that's pretty stupid !  Lane 8 has less turbulence and more fan noise !        Monedas      1929        Comedy Jihad Let The Nitpicking Mind Games Begin

Sun, 08/05/2012 - 12:51 | 2679571 doc_in_the_house
doc_in_the_house's picture

Phelps = SELLS high

he was quite shocked that he got a few silver medals..and NOT ALL GOLD.  He wants to finish high..not low = getting bronzes like that female swimmer torres.  Phelp's mother wanted Rio in 2016...sorry.

i predicted gold to bottom @ sub $300 in 2014..but now i've recalculated it to be 2016. 

In 2008 when Phelp's won EUR @ 1.51 = short!

2012 when Phelps's won EUR @ 1.238 = short !!

2016 = DON'T short EUR @ 0.666 = gold @ $ it @ $250 and ride to $8k+.  I hope ZH is in business in i can this link in 2016 and say..."i said gold would tank from 1600 to $250 by 2016"

also gabby douglas did a PHENOMENAL job for SILVER NOT gold.  At the end of the last round, the Russian athlete did a SUPERB job and you could see the shock and disbelief in gabby douglas's face...she was shell-shocked..she knew she had earned SILVER instead...she almost wanted to cry....however the politically correct panel of judges gave gold to douglas instead of the true winner = the Russian.  This is why the Russian was crying unconsalably. 

aah yes political correctness....the same political correctness that screwed up the chances of the American's gymnastics...Orozco and Leyva = screwed up the Americans!! who in the heck qualified them to be there.  They fell off the freaking horse !!!! = super embarasing !!

Sun, 08/05/2012 - 12:54 | 2679576 doc_in_the_house
doc_in_the_house's picture

there are SHOE SHINE

boys and girls EVERYWHERE.

American's volleyball..They were UP by 2 sets and were about to score the match point and win.  However the stupid "REPORTERS" = calling in the bottom for the Russians, shoe shine boys call in the TOP = when instead are calling in the bottom and vv.

anyways, the American's didn't make the match point and instead LOST that set...Then they were up two sets and down one set...THEN ended up losing the NEXT 2 SETS...

please stupid "REPORTERS" next time keep ur mouth freaking SHUT.

Sun, 08/05/2012 - 16:21 | 2680076 DosZap
DosZap's picture

also gabby douglas did a PHENOMENAL job for SILVER NOT gold.  At the end of the last round, the Russian athlete did a SUPERB job and you could see the shock and disbelief in gabby douglas's face...she was shell-shocked..she knew she had earned SILVER instead...she almost wanted to cry....however the politically correct panel of judges gave gold to douglas instead of the true winner = the Russian.  This is why the Russian was crying unconsalably. 

aah yes political correctness....the same political correctness that screwed up the chances of the American's gymnastics...Orozco and Leyva = screwed up the Americans!! who in the heck qualified them to be there.  They fell off the freaking horse !!!! = super embarasing !!

Ummmmmmm,I assume you did not watch the Boxing PC?.

Thought not.

As for this,

i predicted gold to bottom @ sub $300 in 2014..but now i've recalculated it to be 2016. 

Believe I will pass on your calculations..............Mercy.

Sun, 08/05/2012 - 12:55 | 2679580 Monedas
Monedas's picture

Good job Mark .... ya nuked 'em ! 

Sun, 08/05/2012 - 13:41 | 2679701 Cosimo de Medici
Cosimo de Medici's picture

Pardon me for interrupting Doom 24/7, and for the audacity of having a positive thought, but the Friday Women's 10K was just spectacular.  With a lap and a quarter to go, and on the corner no less, Turenesh Dibaba of Ethiopia pulled a Secretariat at the Belmont Stakes and scalded the field.  I believe her final split was 60 seconds, and this from a woman all of 5'1" and 96 lbs.  It was magnificent.

Sun, 08/05/2012 - 14:35 | 2679839 LULZBank
LULZBank's picture

Yeah, but that doesnt beat dancing with the stars or what Kardasians can get up to.

Sun, 08/05/2012 - 13:47 | 2679728 robertocarlos
robertocarlos's picture

Thank G-d I won't have to look at him or his mother ever again.

Sun, 08/05/2012 - 22:40 | 2680344 Monedas
Monedas's picture

Well fuck you and your gash too !  How about a little civility, gentle people ?        That was a little over the top. sorry !  What I mean is Mark Phelps is a private citizen who has done amazing things .... let's praise him and go after the socialist filth that abounds everywhere !

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