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When Americans Can't Afford A Dollar

Tyler Durden's picture


Today's market moving news (or at least what should be market moving news) comes from hyper discounter extraordinaire, Family Dollar, whose stock is getting clobbered on what is merely the latest downward outlook revision (because as much as the Fed would like, reality, and cash flows, still do matter). Yet, while earnings not only for the $0.99 store but for the entire S&P will be atrocious something that apparently only selling copious amounts of VIX and buying up the ES in hopes of lifting all sinking boats can fix, it is the comments on the conference call that are most disturbing. To wit:


In any other universe, when Americans can't afford a dollar, literally, on purchases, this may be cause for alarm. But not in this one: here, courtesy of Bernanke's central planning, all shall be well. After all: instead of buying "stuff", America's 50 million food stamp recipients should just buy AAPL stock, and retire happily in a few short months if not weeks.

Worst case, they can always convert their stocks into fruity paraphernalia.

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Thu, 01/03/2013 - 11:43 | 3118673 Lost Wages
Lost Wages's picture

I bought six candles at Dollar General the other day. Sorry Family Dollar.

Thu, 01/03/2013 - 11:48 | 3118705 lakecity55
lakecity55's picture

I got you beat. I found half a box in a dumpster.


Thu, 01/03/2013 - 12:06 | 3118774 francis_sawyer
francis_sawyer's picture

I made some out of rendered tallow...

Thu, 01/03/2013 - 12:25 | 3118850 Bendromeda Strain
Bendromeda Strain's picture

Anyone we know?

Thu, 01/03/2013 - 12:38 | 3118899 pods
pods's picture

No one who will be missed.

Thu, 01/03/2013 - 13:32 | 3119088 formadesika3
formadesika3's picture

cellulite works well.

Thu, 01/03/2013 - 12:46 | 3118925 Cortez the Killer
Cortez the Killer's picture

I made a lampshade out of your Mom's diseased flesh

feel better now?

Thu, 01/03/2013 - 14:01 | 3119224 pods
pods's picture

Okay, who brought the cool kid?


Thu, 01/03/2013 - 12:18 | 3118825 Freddie
Freddie's picture

Maybe they should start selling ammo.  Like .22.

Thu, 01/03/2013 - 12:54 | 3118943 JeffB
JeffB's picture

One at a time.

Thu, 01/03/2013 - 12:31 | 3118871 Harbanger
Harbanger's picture

I wonder how long before we start seeing copper cables, pipes, bolts and manhole covers missing? You need to own commodities bitches!

Thu, 01/03/2013 - 12:42 | 3118912 blindchicken
blindchicken's picture

Here in Germany, nearly every day local newspapers report about stolen cables (often from building or railway sites), rain gutters, and everything copper even from graveyards. 'Rich country' does not mean everyone is rich ..


Thu, 01/03/2013 - 13:00 | 3118962 JeffB
JeffB's picture

One of my clients had a rental home that was burglarized recently while her friend living there was away. They tore the furnace apart to steal the copper coils. The police said it looked like professionals who knew what they were doing as they did it quite efficiently and were in and out of there in a flash.

We've had others who have had copper gutters stolen and even pipes ripped out of a basement while they were on vacation which caused a lot of water damage to boot.

Thu, 01/03/2013 - 13:04 | 3118979 Stuntgirl
Stuntgirl's picture

That's being going on in Spain for the last 5 years...

Towns out of power cause the entire power line got stolen for miles.

Newly-built ghost towns needing security personnel because the waterpipes and electric cable get ripped out. Now the builders don't even pay for the security.

In my street in Madrid, every day, Eastern Europe dudes ripping appliances apart, to extract the copper. The little kids have nimble fingers.


Thu, 01/03/2013 - 13:41 | 3118989 TPTB_r_TBTF
TPTB_r_TBTF's picture

For Germany this is a Win-Win:


  • The Rumänians resell the metal in country so these resources are not lost to the local economy.
  • The Rumänians send the Euros back to SE Europe, so the families there can buy Made in Germany.


definitely a  Win-Win for all Keynesians involved.


Edit:  ummm...?! The Germans will be more inclined to buy insurance!

Disclosure: long FRG Insurers

Thu, 01/03/2013 - 12:43 | 3118917 trav777
trav777's picture

this sort of stuff already happens in black dominated areas

Thu, 01/03/2013 - 13:00 | 3118964 toady
toady's picture

Don't forget the Hispanics. The Phoenix metro area was getting hammered by these sorts of activities until they had a major bolt-everything-down campaign last year.

Still, about once a month you hear all the brass urns where stolen from a cemetery, or someone stole a metal statue out of a front yard, only to find it in several pieces at several recyclers.

And, of course, every spring, we find foreclosed homes with the AC units and copper stripped.

Thu, 01/03/2013 - 13:01 | 3118966 Meatballs
Meatballs's picture

Don't kid yourself- manhole covers, storm grates, large generators attached outside, copper from empty houses- right here in lily white rural Connecticut. Don't be such a racist...

Thu, 01/03/2013 - 13:15 | 3119030 trav777
trav777's picture

it doesn't ONLY happen where I said it happens; it is merely substantially MORE COMMON.

You people seem to be incapable of conceptualizing more than a binary outcome model

Thu, 01/03/2013 - 13:19 | 3119035 Meatballs
Meatballs's picture

'You people?' Ooooh, I am humbled by your brilliance. Not. 

I've got your binary outcome model right here.

Thu, 01/03/2013 - 15:43 | 3119706 toady
toady's picture

Love the 'you people', so old school!

Most folks hid it with 'they' & 'them'.

Thu, 01/03/2013 - 13:05 | 3118984 DaveyJones
DaveyJones's picture

That's funny I work in the system and see plenty of poor white boys stealing stuff. Like Tyler, I even see rich boys stealing to support their addiction

Thu, 01/03/2013 - 14:43 | 3119425 MsCreant
MsCreant's picture

You have not seen anyone trying to prosecute a banker for his or her theft have you?

Thu, 01/03/2013 - 15:01 | 3119501 gmrpeabody
gmrpeabody's picture

Well played...


Thu, 01/03/2013 - 15:31 | 3119664 DaveyJones
DaveyJones's picture

no, sadly MsC when you own the courthouse, you rarely visit.

Thu, 01/03/2013 - 12:46 | 3118927 pods
pods's picture

As of now at least a couple a year are barbecued trying to steal the windings of transformers.


Thu, 01/03/2013 - 13:12 | 3119019 kridkrid
kridkrid's picture

One case of that right down the street from me. It wasn't reported that way, but I wonder.

Thu, 01/03/2013 - 13:27 | 3119071 trav777
trav777's picture

this is contraction...scavenging.  Things in existence favored over promises

Thu, 01/03/2013 - 15:40 | 3119697 FrankDrakman
FrankDrakman's picture

Even here in the relatively affluent Great White North, you can see the old telephone junction boxes by the street ripped open and gutted. The telco doesn't care, as they went fibre in our area years ago.

Relatives in the Philippines report some people were making a profit shipping 40-gal containers of Phil. Pesos offshore to be melted down for their copper and zinc. That was a few years ago, though.

Fri, 01/04/2013 - 10:28 | 3121764 Orange Pekoe
Orange Pekoe's picture

That's why those phone boxes look junked. They are gutted everywhere. I've been wondering that forever, thanks.

Thu, 01/03/2013 - 12:13 | 3118796 El Oregonian
El Oregonian's picture

How many candles are needed to be officially in mourning?

Thu, 01/03/2013 - 11:46 | 3118675 Cdad
Cdad's picture

I thought history was not supposed to ever repeat?  Ummm...this is 2008 redux...almost to a "T". 

Switching to monthly charts...

Thu, 01/03/2013 - 11:52 | 3118727 vast-dom
vast-dom's picture

this has nothing to do with 2008. moar qe trumps charts, time, space and physics.

Thu, 01/03/2013 - 11:54 | 3118735 Cdad
Cdad's picture

Time, space, physics...but not one single dollar?

Thu, 01/03/2013 - 11:57 | 3118744 vast-dom
vast-dom's picture

dollar is quantum. quantum like shrödinger's cat. like quantum easing.

Thu, 01/03/2013 - 12:01 | 3118758 LawsofPhysics
LawsofPhysics's picture

Yes, a game of trust and CONfidence.  America has never had to deal with such a crisis before.  That sure is a lot of paper promises you've got there, this should get interesting.

Thu, 01/03/2013 - 11:44 | 3118680 tooriskytoinvest
tooriskytoinvest's picture

We Could Be In An Endless Financial Crisis And Markets Are To Implode AGAIN As Government No Longer Can Delay The Inevitable Catastrophe


Thu, 01/03/2013 - 11:53 | 3118732 adr
adr's picture

When the government becomes the family using one credit card to pay another, I think you can call it an endless financial crisis.

Thu, 01/03/2013 - 11:45 | 3118683 TheDarkKnight
TheDarkKnight's picture

My neighbor said he had these shiny yellow metals that could get him all the fiat he wanted. I haven't seen him in a while now that I think of it..

Thu, 01/03/2013 - 12:07 | 3118776 francis_sawyer
francis_sawyer's picture

check the bottom of the lake...

Thu, 01/03/2013 - 11:46 | 3118685 fonzannoon
fonzannoon's picture

Yet we send 85 bil every month to the banks to drown people in more debt. There is no consequences, apparently, to printing money, but we won't break up that 85 bil and send each person a check. Nah.

Thu, 01/03/2013 - 11:49 | 3118706 TheDarkKnight
TheDarkKnight's picture

You can't send the sheep checks, they're too stupid to know what the hell to do with it. Only the masters are smart enough to know how to spend it



Thu, 01/03/2013 - 12:23 | 3118841 ZeroPoint
ZeroPoint's picture

The danger is that the sheep pay off their debts and buy real assets. 'The masters' can't have that.

Thu, 01/03/2013 - 17:01 | 3119977 Dr. Sandi
Dr. Sandi's picture

That'll never be a problem as long as the bedroom still needs a big screen plasma and Kayla needs a BMW to get to high school.

Thu, 01/03/2013 - 11:50 | 3118713 TerminalDebt
TerminalDebt's picture

It's not printing, its "balance sheet expansion".

What do you think this is? Zimbabwe?

Thu, 01/03/2013 - 11:52 | 3118726 a growing concern
a growing concern's picture

That would be $3400 annually for every person in the US. I guarantee that would have a much more positive impact on our economy than giving it to JPM and those fucks. So clearly it isn't about the economy but about giving a sweet reacharound for one's bankster friends.

Thu, 01/03/2013 - 12:24 | 3118844 busted by the b...
busted by the bailout's picture

We can't do that because it's re-distribution of wealth, aka socialism. 

But bailing out banks is OK, that's capitalism.

Thu, 01/03/2013 - 14:23 | 3119327 Central Bankster
Central Bankster's picture

Wrong. Bailing out the banks is fascism. Capitalism does not exist in the USA. 

Thu, 01/03/2013 - 12:28 | 3118858 Vagabond
Vagabond's picture

Or more than 80k annually for every "officially unemployed" person.

Thu, 01/03/2013 - 12:50 | 3118934 michael_engineer
michael_engineer's picture

Sending out checks would tend to try and increase flow of resource stocks from resource stockpiles. If resource stockpiles are constrained and unable to support additional flow then an alternative is to institute austerity by whatever means available such as by fiscal cliff or fiscal crises of any of the current flavors making the rounds at all levels of government and finance.

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