When Americans Can't Afford A Dollar

Tyler Durden's picture

Today's market moving news (or at least what should be market moving news) comes from hyper discounter extraordinaire, Family Dollar, whose stock is getting clobbered on what is merely the latest downward outlook revision (because as much as the Fed would like, reality, and cash flows, still do matter). Yet, while earnings not only for the $0.99 store but for the entire S&P will be atrocious something that apparently only selling copious amounts of VIX and buying up the ES in hopes of lifting all sinking boats can fix, it is the comments on the conference call that are most disturbing. To wit:

  • FAMILY DOLLAR QTR DISCRETIONARY SALES SLOWED MORE THAN EXPECTED
  • FAMILY DOLLAR SEES NEAR TERM CHALLENGES IN DISCRETIONARY ITEMS
  • FAMILY DOLLAR SEES 2Q GROSS MARGIN PRESSURE MORE VS 1Q
  • FAMILY DOLLAR SEES 1H13 MORE CHALLENGING THAN EXPECTED
  • FAMILY DOLLAR QTR AVG DISCRETIONARY INVENTORY PER STORE DOWN
  • FAMILY DOLLAR SAYS BUSINESS CLIMATE REMAINS UNCERTAIN

In any other universe, when Americans can't afford a dollar, literally, on purchases, this may be cause for alarm. But not in this one: here, courtesy of Bernanke's central planning, all shall be well. After all: instead of buying "stuff", America's 50 million food stamp recipients should just buy AAPL stock, and retire happily in a few short months if not weeks.

Worst case, they can always convert their stocks into fruity paraphernalia.