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Guest Post: Inflation Hits Coffee As Brewers Secretly Swap Robusta For Arabica

Tyler Durden's picture


From Michael Krieger of Liberty Blitzkrieg

Inflation Hits Coffee As Brewers Secretly Swap Robusta for Arabica

This article hit close to home for me.  Literally.  It was just over the holiday season that I mentioned to my mom that her coffee doesn’t taste as good as it used to.  She insisted that she was buying the same blend as always and I insisted it didn’t taste as good.  The conversation ended there.

Then I came across the following article and everything started to make sense.  From the Daily Finance:

Reuters is reporting that many of America’s major brands have been quietly tweaking their coffee blends. While most coffee companies consider their blends trade secrets, and are loath to disclose exactly what goes into them, both circumstantial and direct evidence suggests they’re now substituting lower-grade Robusta beans for some of their pricier Arabica, and degrading the quality of our coffee.

Research out of agricultural bank Rabobank confirms that demand for Arabica beans among coffee buyers “has fallen 27% year-to-date, while Robusta [demand] is 25% higher.” This seems to confirm a widespread alteration of the bean mix.

Why the switcheroo? Prepare to not be shocked. The answer is: price.

Now here’s the kicker of the article.


When you get right down to it, if there’s more Robusta in our coffee but people still find it drinkable, and the coffee’s getting a bit cheaper in consequence, where’s the harm?

What’s the harm?  I didn’t think whether coffee was “drinkable” or not was the point of drinking coffee.  The harm is this is just another example of standards of living being eroded by inflation.  Inflation that we are told doesn’t exist.  Just another day in Oceania…

Full article here.


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Sun, 01/06/2013 - 19:28 | 3128005's picture

I have about twenty cans of coffee purchased at 6.99 or less. Low time preference, high java preference.

Sun, 01/06/2013 - 19:35 | 3128023 idea_hamster
idea_hamster's picture

Interesting.  I didn't know any of these terms, so I typed them into Google translate.  

The results?

Arabica --> "Gold"

Robusto --> "Tungsten"


Sun, 01/06/2013 - 19:43 | 3128061 icanhasbailout
icanhasbailout's picture

at least the chocolate ration went up again

Sun, 01/06/2013 - 19:47 | 3128073 Enslavethechild...
EnslavethechildrenforBen's picture

Bought 5 gallons of paint in a 4.68 gallon bucket. Bitche at the counter refused to charge me for only 4.68 gallons, I paid for 5.

Sun, 01/06/2013 - 20:17 | 3128169 sunaJ
sunaJ's picture

The means of exchange and cofee:


Man drinks 100% arabica coffee.  He is content and caffeinated. 

Man drinks 90% arabica coffee.  Not as satisfying, but closest thing to it and "next best available."

Man drinks 40% arabica coffee.  Must consume 2.5 times his cup of coffee for same satisfaction.

Man drinks 100% robusta coffee.  Man still drinks coffee because the conditioned memory of arabica coffee is so strong still.  Also, there is no alternative.

Man drinks what he believes to be 100% arabica coffee but is actually goat livers and chicken gizzards.  "Something doesn't taste right," he whispers to himself.

Eventually, the memory and placebo effects wear thin and man wonders why he drinks coffee.

Man switches to tea.



Sun, 01/06/2013 - 20:17 | 3128172 negative rates
negative rates's picture

Simply shocking.

Sun, 01/06/2013 - 20:39 | 3128211 trav777
trav777's picture

Tyler is full of crap...this is NOT inflation.  According to the Fed and the BLS, using either hedonic adjustments or Chained CPI, there IS NO inflation by choosing to drink brown colored water instead of coffee.

Who are you going to trust, the GOVERNMENT or some guy using a Brad Pitt avatar?

Sun, 01/06/2013 - 20:56 | 3128257 cynicalskeptic
cynicalskeptic's picture

so.... when coffee becomes too expensive (no matter what the mix) and you start drinking brown colored water from that rusty old 55 gallon drum out back, that's simply a 'voluntary substitution' and has nothign to do with inflation raising the price?

I suppose that also applies to eating acorns and bark after everything else becomes too expensive.....

Sun, 01/06/2013 - 21:26 | 3128331 trav777
trav777's picture

YES.  And when someone is pissing down your back, it is just the same as rain.

Sun, 01/06/2013 - 22:05 | 3128345 cbxer55
cbxer55's picture

No it ain't! Piss is much warmer than rain. ;-)

Sun, 01/06/2013 - 23:39 | 3128650 cornedmutton
cornedmutton's picture

Obviously, you haven't been in SW FL in the summer time at 3:30 PM.

Mon, 01/07/2013 - 03:10 | 3128896 dubbleoj
dubbleoj's picture

robusta has twice the caffeine as arabica , just fyi

Mon, 01/07/2013 - 23:21 | 3131608 thisandthat
thisandthat's picture

Not when you dilute it in twice the amount of water:

1- buy robusta instead of arabica

2- dilute it 2x in water

3- sell it to the ignoramus

4- profit!

...and before you ask about (lack of) taste, Nestlé already solved that slight problem ages ago: add molasses during roasting and sell crappy blends as 1st grade ones - been working wonders with nespresso...

Sun, 01/06/2013 - 23:01 | 3128577 CPL
CPL's picture

Dandilion roots dried, ground up and brewed like coffee.  It's pretty close to arabica except nuttier.  No caffine, just a mega dose of vitamins which have about the same effect.  Word to the wise, when nature calls, answer.  It's also a mega dose of fibre.

Sun, 01/06/2013 - 23:38 | 3128648 tenpanhandle
tenpanhandle's picture

but does it make the water, no, I mean the ground root, does it look brown in the cup.

Mon, 01/07/2013 - 00:49 | 3128763 CPL
CPL's picture

Smells like coffee, tastes like coffee, looks like coffee, brews like coffee.  Older folks drink it around here.  Doesn't have caffine.   When you visit it's impolite to refuse a cup of 'coffee'.  It's good, but it's not coffee with heavy cream.


Here's a recipe from a quick google search.  Teaches how to harvest, cure and grind it.

Mon, 01/07/2013 - 02:09 | 3128844 palmereldritch
palmereldritch's picture

Personally, I like my gin extra oily....

but on the dandelion front, there can be a real upside to adding it to your diet:

"...first phase of research showed that dandelion root extract forced a very aggressive and drug-resistant type of blood cancer cell, known as chronic monocytic myeloid leukemia, to essentially commit suicide.

Researchers then discovered that repeated treatment with low dose dandelion root extract was effective in killing most of the cancerous cells."


Mon, 01/07/2013 - 02:28 | 3128863 CPL
CPL's picture

Well I've been eating them in my salad for years with a couple of other ditch weeds.  

You have to get the broad leaves before the flowers bloom, nice saw tooth on them.  It's like a sweet cabbage, tasty.  In the hardier/bigger of the leafs you manage to find I suppose you could use it for Kimchi, never tried though so I couldn't say.  Stands to reason, tastes sweeter than the chinese cabbage, might be somethign to try.  Sweet with heat.

However if you harvest after the flowers pop, the leaves are bitter like a strong spinich flavor.  Boiling them a bit and saute in butter or greek type yogurt with fiddle heads, basil, garlic, salt/pepper.  Very tasty on rice or mashed into potatoes.

Sun, 01/06/2013 - 23:59 | 3128680 DoChenRollingBearing
DoChenRollingBearing's picture

Long ago I was in the business, importing "green" (unroasted) coffee beans -- arabica -- from Peru.  Robusta makes coffee taste dirty & cheap.  But, robusta DOES have ONE good side affect: more caffeine.

If you see MORE bubbles as you pour your blend (or whatever) than before, that is a sign of more robusta, more bubbles, more robusta.

Vietnam and lowland Africa produce a lot of cheap robusta.  Colombia and Central America produce good arabica (generally speaking the higher the elevation, the better the coffee, but that depends on treatment, etc.), Brazil produces cheap filler arabica.

Sun, 01/06/2013 - 21:39 | 3128356 DavidC
DavidC's picture

I'm not too sure of your post there, but it DID have me laughing!


Sun, 01/06/2013 - 21:43 | 3128365 cbxer55
cbxer55's picture

That line was used in the Clint Eastwood movie The Outlaw Josey Wales.

Sun, 01/06/2013 - 23:46 | 3128665 Money Squid
Money Squid's picture

Well, I would trust Brad Pitt. He looks dreamy.

I don't know much about hedonic adjustments, but I think the Fed uses hegemonic accounting practices - he will make you an offer you can not refuse.

Sun, 01/06/2013 - 21:06 | 3128283 SILVERGEDDON

But - but - but - it only takes five dollars to dig it out of the elephant shit....................

Sun, 01/06/2013 - 20:39 | 3128213 Binko
Binko's picture

Good one, sunaJ. That could be a metaphor for much of life.

Sun, 01/06/2013 - 23:28 | 3128632 petolo
petolo's picture

Ersatz : during the war krauts used to make coffee out of roasted cereals . Coming to your favourite starbucks soon.

Mon, 01/07/2013 - 01:07 | 3128790 deProfundis
deProfundis's picture

Man sells gold short.

Man gets rich

Man drinks Civet coffee.

Sun, 01/06/2013 - 19:48 | 3128078 Sylvia Plath
Sylvia Plath's picture

It's like a drug dealer cutting coke... as long as the "user" accepts the "lesser" high, but is still willing to get high, where's the harm right?

If you demand the best go look for the best, in a free market economy, if your dealer isn't meeting your needs stop going to him... where's the harm in that?

Sun, 01/06/2013 - 21:15 | 3128259 Michaelwiseguy
Michaelwiseguy's picture

Alex Jones on that limey Brits show Piers Morgan CNN tomorrow night. I hope he rips him a new asshole.

Wear something sharp Alex, like a white Armani shirt and black jacket. Screw the tie.

Sun, 01/06/2013 - 19:38 | 3128041 Bad Attitude
Bad Attitude's picture

So... you are hoarding coffee? You may laugh now. But, before it is all over, Dear Leader will make hoarding illegal.

(Actually, good for you! Stockpile things you use and may need before shortages develop and inflation takes its toll.)

Sun, 01/06/2013 - 19:41 | 3128052 fourchan
fourchan's picture

only a moron who never shops thinks we dont have raging inflation. a bag of chips is almost 5 dollars.

Sun, 01/06/2013 - 19:48 | 3128077 Bad Attitude
Bad Attitude's picture

When it comes to inflation, who are you going to trust? Your lying eyes or the Ministry of Truth?

Sun, 01/06/2013 - 20:40 | 3128219 trav777
trav777's picture

eyes should be illegal if they tend to conflict with MiniTruth doctrine.

I mean the truth requires our consent, doesn't it?

Sun, 01/06/2013 - 20:56 | 3128258 Clever Name
Clever Name's picture

Attributed to ORI:

Dont believe everything you see, because you only see what you believe.

Mon, 01/07/2013 - 18:21 | 3130883 smiler03
smiler03's picture

You are SO obviously NOT the same Trav as before, unfortunately. A different brand of Tyler is my theory.

Sun, 01/06/2013 - 21:00 | 3128268 cynicalskeptic
cynicalskeptic's picture

Bacon shot up over $7 a package (pound) recently - from just over $4.....  BACON !?1?   wtf?   we're not talking prime rib  or filet but BACON!!!!!!!!

I don't even want to think abut what's going into hot dogs now..... (which btw are well over $4 a package.....starting to sound like my father but damn... I lived on those at 99 cents a package - or less - while in college)

Sun, 01/06/2013 - 21:13 | 3128299 bigrooster
bigrooster's picture

I don't buy bacon much but I notiecd the same thing today.  The cheap bacon was $5, the average for the better stuff was $7.  

Sun, 01/06/2013 - 21:16 | 3128304 Tijuana Donkey Show
Tijuana Donkey Show's picture

Make your own bacon.

It's THE WHIP. Also, get the flavor you want. But if the CPI is correct, you'll substitute cat food for bacon, and it's all good. 

Sun, 01/06/2013 - 23:10 | 3128588 CPL
CPL's picture

Chicken weiners are nearly 4 bucks.  Hotdogs not made of asses, kunckles and beaks are 6-7 a pack now.


It's pretty easy to spend 20 bucks in a grocery store.  Milk, bread, eggs, throw on taxes (thanks HST!).  That's twenty bucks and you haven't even bought a meal except egg sandwich. 

Sun, 01/06/2013 - 19:50 | 3128080's picture


So... you are hoarding coffee?

Sun, 01/06/2013 - 20:09 | 3128152 Sean7k
Sean7k's picture

Green Beans store better than roasted ones. Roast your own. Try Sweet Marias coffee. I don't know how anyone drinks that commercial garbage. I have great coffees, roasted to my preference, that are fresh, interesting and very enjoyable. 

When you depend on the System, you are bound to be disappointed.

Sun, 01/06/2013 - 22:25 | 3128484's picture

I just got an ad for green coffee beans. I wonder if that'll make it into my file in Utah.

Sun, 01/06/2013 - 23:07 | 3128584 Overfed
Overfed's picture

Don't be so cynical. It's for your safety.

Sun, 01/06/2013 - 23:37 | 3128646 petolo
petolo's picture

Faux Maxwell House 

Sun, 01/06/2013 - 20:02 | 3128127 El Oregonian
El Oregonian's picture

Bugler tobacco in a 6 ounce can. Great when the SHTF senario trade item will be worth it's weight in gold...

Sun, 01/06/2013 - 20:41 | 3128224 trav777
trav777's picture

opium poppies grow anywhere

Sun, 01/06/2013 - 20:48 | 3128234's picture

Six ounce cans of Bugler and Zig-Zag run $20 with the tax. Eight ounce bags of RSB "pipe" tobacco go for under $7. It's a slightly different cut but tastes just a like an old fashioned (pre-flame retardant) Marlboro.

This item makes perfect cigarettes fast and with the tubes and "pipe" tobacco a carton of cigs runs me under $12.

Sun, 01/06/2013 - 21:02 | 3128275 cynicalskeptic
cynicalskeptic's picture

tax avoider... watch out - big brother doesn't like things like that....  gov has started cracking down on loose tobacco sales

Sun, 01/06/2013 - 21:20 | 3128313's picture

I know. The cans of cigarette tobacco were $9 in early 2010. A new tobacco tax was instituted which increased the tax on loose cigarette tobacco from $1 per pound to $24 per pound. The day before the price of the can rose to over $20 I bought 45 cans at $9. I ran out of that about two months back and then I discovered this "pipe" tobacco thing. Now I'm paying less than I was when a 6 oz can cost $9. Folks should check out their local smoke shop, they'll know all about it. And get a Powermatic 2.

Mon, 01/07/2013 - 10:47 | 3129318 shovelhead
shovelhead's picture

I still have my Top-o-matic T2 hand cranker and my cost is about a buck a pack delivered using RBS's smooth cut pipe tobacco.

I can't smoke a factory made cigarette anymore since I started making my own because of the chemical taste of the burn additives.

I guess Obama decided to make the taxes 'more fair' to cigarette smokers than pipe smokers.

Harvard professors prefer pipes, so pipe tobacco gets the tax break.


Mon, 01/07/2013 - 12:12 | 3129603's picture


Harvard professors prefer pipes, so pipe tobacco gets the tax break.


I hadn't thought of that. One finds cronyism in the strangest places.

Mon, 01/07/2013 - 02:14 | 3128846 Dave Thomas
Dave Thomas's picture

Get yourself vaporizing, cheaper and healtier.


Takes a bit of experimenting with all the different cartomizers and such, but once you're dialed in it's cheap as shit.

Mon, 01/07/2013 - 09:17 | 3129135 Ralph Spoilsport
Ralph Spoilsport's picture

I've been vaping for 3 years and am now trying to quit nicotine once and for all. I used the Rough Stack from Mad Vapes and various clearomizers with nic liquid from Backwoods Brew. Vaping is cheap and it works well once you get the hang of it like you said. It's a lot better for your lungs than inhaling burning plant material with hundreds of chemicals added if you have to "smoke". The problem is the addictive nature of nicotine.

Mon, 01/07/2013 - 19:04 | 3131023 smiler03
smiler03's picture

Holy Smoking Hail Mary, I just suck the vapours direct from my deisel engine exhaust pipe, it's already paid for and harmless. /s


Seriously.. you Americans think that if you consume 1 ounce of high fructose syrup you'll get cancer but smoking dope, tobacco and whatever the horrifyingly sounding substance(s) above is, that it won't harm you. You're certainly unique.

BTW, we Europeans consume far far less high fructose shit than you. It's close to being banned but we still get obese.. but that's for another thread I think.

Sun, 01/06/2013 - 21:06 | 3128285 SILVERGEDDON

Ban those high capacity coffee makers !!!

Sun, 01/06/2013 - 21:20 | 3128312 El Oregonian
El Oregonian's picture

I bought 160 LBs. of green coffee beans year and a half ago, stored with another 320 LBs green beans cold buried. I'm ready...

Mon, 01/07/2013 - 19:06 | 3131036 smiler03
smiler03's picture

Have you noticed any new plants in the yard?

Mon, 01/07/2013 - 00:49 | 3128762 ball-and-chain
ball-and-chain's picture

Everyone is still looking for that elusive hyper-inflation.

It's not here, folks.

Most price-hikes you see are due to speculation.

Deflation shall rule the day.

This is Japanese-style nuclear winter.

Mon, 01/07/2013 - 01:23 | 3128808 dogbreath
dogbreath's picture


If you need to stockpile caffiene stockpile TEA, it doesnt spoil quickly.  Coffee nedsto be used fresh and it only keeps as a green bean.  That coffee you bought is already stale.  I buy the best coffee from my local roaster and pay between 15 and 25 per pound.  The last  one was a yemen mocha cultivar grown on muai.  Fantastic stuff and worth the money.  My roaster also sells green beans that keep indefinately.    <-----the best coffee

Mon, 01/07/2013 - 02:31 | 3128864's picture

Thanks for the input, but...


If you need to stockpile caffiene stockpile TEA, it doesnt spoil quickly.


I've got tea as well.


That coffee you bought is already stale.


No, it isn't.

Mon, 01/07/2013 - 04:08 | 3128931 dogbreath
dogbreath's picture

Respectfully, compared to what I drink any packaged coffee is shit

Mon, 01/07/2013 - 12:17 | 3129613's picture

Respectfully, I'm not going to pay $20 per pound for coffee. What am I supposed to do, get an extra job?


Mon, 01/07/2013 - 13:30 | 3129851 dogbreath
dogbreath's picture

I understand, but I rarely buy a cup coffee anywhere so I am not paying 2.75 everyday for a Cup of joe and a pound lasts me about three weeks.  Its not more expensive and the coffee is soooo good.

Mon, 01/07/2013 - 09:33 | 3129163 tabasco71
tabasco71's picture

Hmm, well the market for these doesn't look great then:

Sun, 01/06/2013 - 19:29 | 3128007 lakecity55
lakecity55's picture

Hmmmm I have had my suspicions.......once again, ZH scoops the commie media.

Forward, Soviet!

Party Members may buy real coffee at the Hammer and Sicle store near you.

Sun, 01/06/2013 - 19:28 | 3128009 The Juggernaut
The Juggernaut's picture

Can the revolution start now?  meeeeh!  Everyone is getting antsy.

Sun, 01/06/2013 - 19:40 | 3128038 Bawneee Fwank
Bawneee Fwank's picture
If They Come for Your Guns, Do You Have a Responsibility to Fight?

"Our framers were very clear on this. If my government comes to take my guns, they are violating one of my constitutional rights that is covered by the 2nd amendment.

It is not my right, at that point, but my responsibility to respond in the name of liberty. What I am telling you is something that many are trying to soft sell, and many others have tried to avoid putting into print, but I am going to say it. The time for speaking in code is over. 

You have the right to kill any representative of this government who tries to tread on your liberty. I am thinking about self-defense and not talking about inciting a revolution. Re-read Jefferson’s quote. He talks about a “last resort.” I am not trying to start a Revolt, I am talking about self-defense. If the day for Revolution comes, when no peaceful options exist, we may have to talk about that as well. None of us wants to think about that, but please understand that a majority can not take away your rights as an American citizen.

Congress could pass gun ban legislation by a 90%+ margin and it just would not matter. I think some people are very unclear on this. This is the reason we have a Supreme Court, and though I do not doubt that the Supreme Court can also become corrupt, in 2008 they got it right. They supported the constitution. It does not matter what the majority supports because America is not a democracy. A constitutional republic protects the rights of every single citizen, no matter what their “elected servants” say. A majority in America only matters when the constitution is not in play.

I just wrote what every believer in the constitution wants to say, and what every constitutional blogger needs to write. The truth of the matter is that this type of speech is viewed as dangerous and radical or subversive, and it could gain me a world of trouble that I do not want. It is also the truth. To make myself clear I will tell you again. If they come for your guns it is your right to use those guns against them and to kill them. You are protected by our constitution."

This guy is tired of waiting as well...lets discuss this, post this up Tylers.  I would actually love to see the responces to this.


Sun, 01/06/2013 - 19:59 | 3128122 Janice
Janice's picture

In this day of big brother monitoring the Internet, it is reckless to discuss such things in a public forum...much like the founding fathers who had to meet in secrecy. However, in the South, we've long had a saying, "If they come for my guns, they have to take the bullets first."

Sun, 01/06/2013 - 20:37 | 3128209 El Oregonian
El Oregonian's picture

When it comes to the constitution, which I took an oath to defend in 1973, against enemies foreign and DOMESTIC. That OATH WAS A LIFETIME OATH. I, like my fore bearers before me, shall honor my oath and come to the aid of my country when asked.

Big Brother will become my Goliath. I, like David, a mere sheepherder, will find the stones to subdue him, but I will need only the first one to achieve what many thought impossible. Be careful Goliath, be careful of the herders of the sheep, for your time to get rocked approacheth...

Mon, 01/07/2013 - 00:14 | 3128696 chubbar
chubbar's picture

Well, it's pretty fucking obvious that our elected congress and president is an enemy against our constitution. This isn't going to be pretty. Now what? Who goes first?

Sun, 01/06/2013 - 21:18 | 3128310 bigrooster
bigrooster's picture

When free men will no longer speak up because of fear of their government then they are no longer free.

Sun, 01/06/2013 - 20:08 | 3128144 Bad Attitude
Bad Attitude's picture

If Dear Leader can't get congressional cooperation on this gun control push, he'll just use executive orders and fight it in court later.

Dear Leader seems to be overreaching more and more. He will overreach on this gun control push, too. It will be ugly and piss everybody off. He is expecting grudging compliance as has happened when he overreached before. But, I believe he is like a child sitting in a puddle of gasoline playing with matches - he is going to start something he cannot stop.

Someone posted a link to a Matt Bracken short story a few days ago. It is a worth reading and pondering.

"...though I do not doubt that the Supreme Court can also become corrupt..."

A few months ago, Justice John Roberts switched is vote and saved Obamacare. I think that marks the point that the Supreme Court became corrupt.

Sun, 01/06/2013 - 20:15 | 3128167 Sean7k
Sean7k's picture

You need to go back waaaayyyyy farther: Marbury v Madison. That assumes you remember that most early decisions were ignored- see indian law cases. Dred Scott? FDR packing the court? The list is long my friend. Taney first ruled corporations were people. The court is just another arm of the Rothschilds. 

Sun, 01/06/2013 - 23:42 | 3128656 fourchan
fourchan's picture

it worked for randy weaver and dave koresch.....not

Sun, 01/06/2013 - 19:30 | 3128011 buzzsaw99
buzzsaw99's picture

I buy my arabica beans whole.

Sun, 01/06/2013 - 19:54 | 3128102 SHEEPFUKKER

I mostly drink Irish coffees so I'm not too bothered. 

Sun, 01/06/2013 - 19:30 | 3128015 nmewn
nmewn's picture


Sun, 01/06/2013 - 21:07 | 3128287 XitSam
XitSam's picture

Yeah. Just the other day, I thought I had dandruff. Turns out there's sawdust in my shampoo! Those heathens!

Seriously, I have a couple cans of coffee stashed and I don't drink it. :) Does anyone know where to find full metal cans of coffee?  Not with some mylar sealing the top, but all metal that would require a can opener to get into.

Sun, 01/06/2013 - 23:49 | 3128669 tenpanhandle
tenpanhandle's picture

in a stash near you.

Sun, 01/06/2013 - 19:30 | 3128016 Sudden Debt
Sudden Debt's picture

No coffee...
No workee!

and so the economy will crash and burn! you mark my words!

Sun, 01/06/2013 - 20:30 | 3128199 Acet
Acet's picture

No danger of that: robusta has even more cafeine than arabica, it just tastes worse.

Sun, 01/06/2013 - 20:40 | 3128216 ShrNfr
ShrNfr's picture

Stop and Shop house brand subsituted battery acid for the robusta long since in their instant coffee. I have never, ever, tasted as vile a blend in my life.

Mon, 01/07/2013 - 10:55 | 3129334 shovelhead
shovelhead's picture

I think the battery acid would be preferable to any instant coffee.

Sun, 01/06/2013 - 19:31 | 3128018 Bullwinkle Moose
Bullwinkle Moose's picture

We haven't seen anything yet. We will look back on what is now and call it "the good old days."

Sun, 01/06/2013 - 19:43 | 3128059 uno
uno's picture

yes, every day gets less freedom, lower standard of living.  5 years from now we will wish for these days

Sun, 01/06/2013 - 22:10 | 3128430 bearwinkle
bearwinkle's picture

I've been doing that for sometime :(

Sun, 01/06/2013 - 19:32 | 3128020 knukles
knukles's picture

What about us tea drinkers? 

Sun, 01/06/2013 - 19:36 | 3128035 lakecity55
lakecity55's picture

They'll get u next. probably put grass clippings from BO's yard into the tea bags.

All coffee and tea are equal, but some are more equal than others.

Sun, 01/06/2013 - 19:52 | 3128095's picture

That Earl Grey is always lording it over the others.

Sun, 01/06/2013 - 23:32 | 3128541 Toronto Kid
Toronto Kid's picture

Dandelion tea made from dandelion leaves. It's damn expensive at $20 an organic can, but should be easy enough to grow your own in pots.

And if you like dandelion leaves watered by squirrels and the local cats, you can gather the leaves for free from the local lawns.

Makes good wine, and salad, as well as tea.

Sun, 01/06/2013 - 23:47 | 3128666 Tijuana Donkey Show
Tijuana Donkey Show's picture

I trap and eat all the furry rats. I'm helping the CPI, as squirrel tastes like beef, so as a substitute for expensive chicken, it's a winner.

Sun, 01/06/2013 - 19:37 | 3128037 Sudden Debt
Sudden Debt's picture

you will remain the laughingstock at work, don't worry.

Sun, 01/06/2013 - 19:39 | 3128044 knukles
knukles's picture

My secretary really rankles twice a day every day when she has to put on her French maid dominatrix uniform and serve me my tea on fine china....
Mrs. K just hates doing that....

Sun, 01/06/2013 - 21:09 | 3128291 Anusocracy
Anusocracy's picture

Tell her to quit complaining or you'll get Barney Frank to do it.

Sun, 01/06/2013 - 22:42 | 3128534 Miffed Microbio...
Miffed Microbiologist's picture

Wow, mrs K and I should go out for coffee sometime. Our men think alike!
(the coffee reference is to keep from being accused of high jacking the thread)


Sun, 01/06/2013 - 19:41 | 3128054 Hulk
Hulk's picture

25 percent chigger infested ,dried grass clippins for ya'll...

Sun, 01/06/2013 - 20:40 | 3128218 ShrNfr
ShrNfr's picture

How about the tea smokers?

Mon, 01/07/2013 - 01:43 | 3128826 dogbreath
dogbreath's picture



If you like Tea you owe yourslf a trip to China.  I spent days and days in the tea markets <---- imagine a shopping mall filled with small tea retailers like 200 of them.  You can sample as much tea as you can handle.   Most tea available (in Canada anyway) is low grade shit.   Tons of variety. 

Sun, 01/06/2013 - 19:33 | 3128022 ShortTheUS
ShortTheUS's picture

Most food isn't food these days. It's sugar bombs (Charles Smith's term), filled with salt and fat. And most people don't even know it.

So don't just blame the producers, blame the neandersheep consumers.

Sun, 01/06/2013 - 19:36 | 3128034 nmewn
nmewn's picture


Who's been following the trials & travails of the Kansas sperm donor now being sued by the state who donated his "stuff" to a couple of lezbo's who wound up not being able to provide for said crumb cruncher?

Children, avert your eyes...

Sun, 01/06/2013 - 19:42 | 3128055 knukles
knukles's picture

Gives new meaning to the sage advice of "keeping it in your pants"... "or in the family."

See this here proves that women can get pregnant by....
(never mind, even I with my pitiful standards cannot bring myself to say it)

Sun, 01/06/2013 - 19:55 | 3128104 nmewn
nmewn's picture

Been laughing my ass off over it ever since it "came up". Here we have the example of a good samaritan, merely trying to help out this poor hopeless, hapless "progressive"couple and whammo...the jaws of the state slam down around his "laborious efforts" like a steel bear

Of course (continuing with animal metphors) this seemed odd...

"Intrigued" by the ad, he agreed to donate and says he delivered three cupfuls of his sperm -- gratis -- to the women, one of whom gave birth to a daughter.

"I donated genetic material, and that was it for me," he told CNN affiliate WIBW."


Ok now, either the child is as bucktoothed as an old sway-back nag or he has missed his calling in life ;-)

Sun, 01/06/2013 - 19:58 | 3128118 knukles
knukles's picture

Holy spermatozoa, Batman!
3 cup fulls.

(there's something wrong, here, folks)

Was it fresh or frozen?
What was the expiration date?
Was it FDA approved?
Pasteurized, homogenized or natural, raw?
Was he raw?

These questions just keep coming.

(Hah ha ha ha get it, coming?)

Sun, 01/06/2013 - 20:08 | 3128146 nmewn
nmewn's picture

Clearly we have arrived at the point in the matrix where we need a Sperm Czar to keep an eye on these WMR's!

(Weapons of Mass Reproduction)

Sun, 01/06/2013 - 23:40 | 3128653 Hulk
Hulk's picture

Next time, to avoid  legal complications, he should just cum in their shoes and let the Flys do the rest...

Mon, 01/07/2013 - 19:16 | 3131067 smiler03
smiler03's picture

You're 5 years behind. Same story in the UK... 2007....

Sun, 01/06/2013 - 20:11 | 3128150 lakecity55
lakecity55's picture

I remember this story. I think the kid's name is "Ed."

Sun, 01/06/2013 - 20:13 | 3128158 nmewn
nmewn's picture


Sun, 01/06/2013 - 20:50 | 3128242 Bad Attitude
Bad Attitude's picture

The moral of the story: No good deed goes unpunished!

Sun, 01/06/2013 - 21:47 | 3128378 nmewn
nmewn's picture

I'm raising the Black prisoners.

Sun, 01/06/2013 - 22:13 | 3128445 Miffed Microbio...
Miffed Microbiologist's picture

Oh Nmewn you have me laughing so hard now! A few yrs back when I was working graveyards a man came in at 4AM to have a semen analysis done. Why you guys tend to do this at this time is beyond me... May be too embarrassed in front of lots of people? Well at that time we were dealing with a horrible bleeding double trauma and I was overwhelmed so I grabbed a specimen cup and quickly showed the guy the bathroom. I felt so bad when I closed the door, his eyes were big with that sad sort of pleading look. I just didn't have time for him... Sort of a triage moment. Well, the lab called me at 11AM when I was trying to sleep. Did I happen to put a guy in the bathroom for a semen specimen? OH GOD... I forgot him! Well they just pulled him out exhausted....he was so sorry he just couldn't fill the cup I gave him!


Mon, 01/07/2013 - 00:34 | 3128736 Frozen
Frozen's picture

For the sake of everyone, I'm sorry you are so moronic.  If there is anything I hate more than the state, it is the whiny gobstopper who plays the stupid victim when he is caught with his pants down.  I don't consider a "man" a good samaritan who places cheap commercial value on the sanctity of life.  You fail to see the irony in giving this nitwit credit for aiding the creation of a state-sponsored welfare sponge, that is likely to come out of your pocket.

Mon, 01/07/2013 - 07:28 | 3129026 nmewn
nmewn's picture

The state and the dykes are fighting your battle for you grasshopper, they must be saying his sperm is in fact, life.

Sun, 01/06/2013 - 19:48 | 3128075 mercenaryomics
mercenaryomics's picture


Artificial insemination generally isn't covered by health insurance and usually costs between $2,000 and $3,000, said Steve Snyder, a Minnesota-based attorney and chairman of the American Bar Association's group on assisted reproduction technology.


And one wonders why people just buy the kit online for $30 and inseminate "without a doctor."  Another instance of the state pushing a particular costly state-sanctioned service on someone rather than letting the market work. If you want rights, you must agree to be a debt-peasant of big pharma. 

Sun, 01/06/2013 - 19:54 | 3128105 knukles
knukles's picture

Or can get a guy to do it for free...
I mean, there are ways to simplify life.

Sun, 01/06/2013 - 19:56 | 3128111's picture


And one wonders why people just buy the kit online for $30 and inseminate


Back in my day they didn't have kits. We did it ourselves from scratch.

Sun, 01/06/2013 - 19:57 | 3128116 nmewn
nmewn's picture

lol...and here I was thinkin a strap-on turkey baster!

(I'm sorry, that was just wrong on so many levels)

Sun, 01/06/2013 - 19:59 | 3128123 knukles
knukles's picture

I'm laughing and at a loss for a porn site joke about turkey basters....

Sun, 01/06/2013 - 20:09 | 3128153 nmewn
nmewn's picture

I can't get the image out of my deserve it ;-)

Sun, 01/06/2013 - 20:16 | 3128162 cbxer55
cbxer55's picture

A strap-on turkey baster with 3 cupfuls of semen! Not a pretty picture. Yuck. Make a hell of a smelly mess. 

Sun, 01/06/2013 - 20:42 | 3128227 ShrNfr
ShrNfr's picture

Alternatetively, they could have done something using the actress after the bukkake flick was over.

Sun, 01/06/2013 - 23:57 | 3128678 tenpanhandle
tenpanhandle's picture

aka: turkey bastard makers

Mon, 01/07/2013 - 02:00 | 3128835 dogbreath
dogbreath's picture



There were a coupla dykes in the yukon in the 98 or 99 thereabouts.  They livesd across the way from an aqaintance.  They got some sucker to donate a load or two and used a turkey baster to do the insemination.  What mental problems will that kid have.  Femminists are evil

Sun, 01/06/2013 - 19:39 | 3128045 apberusdisvet
apberusdisvet's picture

Luckily,  those of us in SoFl can buy Columbiana whole beans for a decent price.  Grind your own.

Sun, 01/06/2013 - 19:39 | 3128046 notadouche
notadouche's picture

How about false advertisement or bait and switch.  How about something to do with integrity.  I know it's a lost art in our society but it is still valued by many.

Sun, 01/06/2013 - 19:48 | 3128076 Salon
Salon's picture

This is just another example of how our quality of life must go down during this rebalancing.

Deleveraging, even if hidden by inflation, is inevitable.

If they can hide the deleveraging with inflation, then hide the inflation, most people wont notice

Sun, 01/06/2013 - 19:54 | 3128101 FreeMktFisherMN
FreeMktFisherMN's picture

it can't be hidden. The distortions of money printing, which is the definition of inflation, don't give good feedback/signals about productivity. In the 'roaring 20s,' the Fed printed a lot of money in looking for 'price stability' when the truth is that prices should have fallen more to reflect productivity gains. People should reap the benefits of their labor. The more productive, the less input needed, and more effort can go to other endeavors. And there is hardly any deleveraging right now. People are adding debt. Bankruptcy sometimes is the only option, but as was noted on ZH awhile ago, it is not the same as actually paying back loans, debt, etc., which is how I view deleveraging. The lenders lose in bankruptcy, although they should know the risk going into it of being defaulted on. 

Sun, 01/06/2013 - 20:33 | 3128203 NoDebt
NoDebt's picture

It can be hidden from many.  Serve them cat food and tell them it's pate (sorry don't know how to do the accents over the a and e).

That's a basic assumption in the current CPI calculation (subsitution of cheaper alternatives at a constant level of "enjoyment"), as explained on ZH in the recent past.

Reality is, of course, we've got flat wages and rising prices for all basics of life and industrial input for DECADES.  So, yeah, we're going backwards.  But they're heavily invested in convincing us we're NOT going backwards, because they know they can't sustain this fiction any other way.


Mon, 01/07/2013 - 20:05 | 3131160 smiler03
smiler03's picture

Hi NoDebt... here's a quick and easy way to deal with those troublesome graves, umlauts etc.....


Find the wikipedia page, normally very easy, for example:  then highlight and copy the main word and paste where required and, voilà (not viola ;O))


Sun, 01/06/2013 - 19:40 | 3128047 lakecity55
lakecity55's picture

Knew about the switch              

Did not know about the switch


Did ophone know?

Sun, 01/06/2013 - 19:44 | 3128065 knukles
knukles's picture

Please do not give those people any new ideas.
The oPhone, talks liberal neotripe 24/7/365

Sun, 01/06/2013 - 19:49 | 3128081 lakecity55
lakecity55's picture


I tried to erase the post.

You're right. Gold, coffee, what's next?

Sun, 01/06/2013 - 19:53 | 3128099 knukles
knukles's picture

No more 4 hour erections.

Sun, 01/06/2013 - 20:25 | 3128192 lakecity55
lakecity55's picture

This explains why more members at the club have been getting testy lately.

I'm proposing a 13th Tradition: No Robusto Beans.

Mon, 01/07/2013 - 02:52 | 3128881 MrButtoMcFarty
MrButtoMcFarty's picture



Sun, 01/06/2013 - 23:18 | 3128609 goldfish1
goldfish1's picture

Yeah, on that note I decided to switch back to a not smart phone.

And, I even went a day without my phone.....

the old freedoms....available for the taking...

Sun, 01/06/2013 - 19:59 | 3128120's picture


Knew about the switch              

Did not know about the switch


How many folks know that the government began requiring cigarette makers to but flame retardants in cigarettes starting in 2010? If you buy the tubes and make your own you can avoid the added chemicals (for now).

Sun, 01/06/2013 - 20:40 | 3128217 NoDebt
NoDebt's picture

Every smoker knew that.  Look for the letters "FSC" on the pack- that's it.  Although the letters stand for Fire Safety Cigarette, smokers refer to it colloquially as "Fucking Sucks Cock".  Ask me how I know.


Sun, 01/06/2013 - 20:46 | 3128235 cbxer55
cbxer55's picture

Switch to good hand-rolled cigars. No additives, no preservatives. Nothing but the finest all pure tobacco. Sittin here in my one bedroom apartment burning one now, smells good! ;-)

Sun, 01/06/2013 - 20:51 | 3128245's picture


Every smoker knew that.


I didn't and neither has anyone I've spoken with.


Ask me how I know.


How did you know?

Mon, 01/07/2013 - 00:05 | 3128685 tenpanhandle
tenpanhandle's picture

 A cigarette that retards flame?  How apt.

Sun, 01/06/2013 - 19:41 | 3128048 Prison Justice
Prison Justice's picture

Hadn't noticed.....Juan Valdez brings a fresh cup to my kitchen window each morning.  And that man is as good as his word.

Sun, 01/06/2013 - 19:43 | 3128060 Salon
Salon's picture

If you know good coffee you can taste the difference when they start adding robusta beans. It is sour and poorly flavored.

This has been going on a while. Unless it says 100 percent Arabica then it has robusta beans.

100 percent Columbian? LMFAO! That's when I knew the robusta bean scam was in full swing.

Sun, 01/06/2013 - 19:43 | 3128062 q99x2
q99x2's picture

I gave up drugs and alcohol for coffee. This can't be fucking happening man. I didn't come all that way for this.

Sun, 01/06/2013 - 19:46 | 3128070 lakecity55
lakecity55's picture

I heard they got some real stuff over at Stalag 16. Carter and Kinch are going out tonight to trade.

Sun, 01/06/2013 - 19:51 | 3128088 knukles
knukles's picture

Gonna have to upgrade to those rare beans hand picked from freshly tossed monkey turds by poverty stricken uneducated underage Luddite mentally deficient native children in Bongobongo or wherever.  Have been fully endorsed by the Liberal Bastion of Freedom Loving Natural State Preservation as Organic, Natural, Low Emissions, Miniscule Carbon Footprint, Sustainable, Dumbass, Overpriced Yuppie Crap bought almost exclusively by the Berkinstock Crowd at Whole Foods.  Sold next to the $300 Lulunacrazymon  Yoga jerkoff tights.
Lucky you.

Bill Gates drinks the stuff hear tell....

Sun, 01/06/2013 - 20:21 | 3128184 mckee
mckee's picture

In a recyclable cup

Sun, 01/06/2013 - 23:21 | 3128614 goldfish1
goldfish1's picture

Bill Gates - traitor to the world.

Mon, 01/07/2013 - 00:33 | 3128735 Tijuana Donkey Show
Tijuana Donkey Show's picture

Lulunacrazymon - Latin - "constrictive garmets that make old, tired, flabby asses smash into a semi-respectable form hiding the extra PinkBerry." See also - Wonder bra, Daisy Pukes, and Nike. Use "Lulunacrazymon makes that 50 year old midwestern-longbutt shapely enough to get a first, and if from a distance, second look from the non-viagra set. "

Sun, 01/06/2013 - 19:43 | 3128064 busted by the b...
busted by the bailout's picture

As long as Sumatran is still Sumatran, I'm fine with it.

Do NOT follow this link or you will be banned from the site!