Panic In California As Thousands Of Food Stamps Cards Suffer Brief Outage

Tyler Durden's picture

This past weekend, as part of a system update to the CalWIN software of California's Social Services department, HP accidentally cancelled EBT cards for some 37,000 Californians. We can only imagine the resulting panic and the scramble by all these Californians who suddenly could not live within their means to print trillion, and other denomination, coins, in the shining example of their government. The OC Register reports that eighteen counties were affected in the CalFresh chaos (the 'friendly' name given to California's food stamp program - also formerly known as the Supplemental Nutrition Assistance Program or SNAP). While we worry for the strippers and liquor stores, CalWIN and Xerox (the state's primary contractor for administering CalFresh) developed a process to reactivate the cards by Tuesday morning. While this must have been a tough day or two for many, we wonder if Geithner's 'extraordinary' efforts to extend the debt ceiling deadline have perhaps gone a little too far?

Finally, instead of minting coins, perhaps Hewlett Packard can remotely update its software in the Fed printers, which can then proceed to print a few cool extra trillion unsupervised, and voila: all of America's problems are gone.

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Wakanda's picture

McPanic and a super size McWorry

Victorio's picture

I want my cheezy poofs!

flacon's picture

"CalFresh"! LOL! We are living in cartoon land. 

Ness.'s picture

Yes, we are living in a cartoon.  From the Land of Lincoln - Gov Quinn has taken a new approach to address the nation's least funded pension plans.

"Illinois Gov. Pat Quinn is using a cartoon character to raise public awareness of the state's pension problem.  Mr. Quinn last week introduced Squeezy the Pension Python, meant to highlight the “squeeze” pension payments are putting on other state services such as education, health care and public safety."



redpill's picture

Can you buy Brawndo on the CalFresh program?  It's got electrolytes!


TruthInSunshine's picture

The future has arrived (if even only a example of what lay ahead):


Extra Big Ass Fries Purchase Declined At Swipe Yo EBT Station

CPL's picture


CNBC hasn't changed by much in the future either.

DeadFred's picture

All you heartless clowns think this is funny? It took me ninety minutes to get my nightly six pack of PBRs!

Beam Me Up Scotty's picture

Wait and see what happens when your Visa cards don't work.

Hook Line and Sphincter's picture

Adipose encumbered slobs aside... I know an ex-Bear Sterns broker who swam with the big fish who is on the CalFresh program, so if all your current hubris allows you remain untouched, the more to you.

Keep in mind, myself included, a large% of the $$$ we made has been the product of 'work' that produces little or no value for society (at least when I was a commodity broker), was directly influenced by the FIAT falling out of the Feds rump, institutionalized USURY, and the foolish gambling losses of others who played in a manipulated market (they weren't aware).

To the best of my knowledge, she's been looking for employment to no avail. That said, you try competing for washing your neighbor's car, mowing lawns, getting a municipal job, or scrubbing the toilets of city parks in S. CA   NO MUCHO TRABAJO SENOR!

2 thumbs up that the gravy train keep a rollin' so you don't have to come face to face with that hook firmly entrenched.

Hook Line and Spincter ( ! )J

WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot's picture

COLLAPSE, bitchez!!


edit: Ho-ly shit, Krispy. That really puts a face on the problem.

"When y'all gonna come thru?!"

Uh, when Y'ALL gonna figure out that your survival depends on YOU and that the government ain't y'all's suga' daddy?

Oh, and what, exactly, made you think that having 6 kids was a good idea, given your financial situation? Occupational hazard of a crack whore?

Hook Line and Sphincter's picture

If you're on a train that has jumped the tracks, and is now falling 5 miles down into a canyon, you should at least feel free to suck down a free martini.

After all, your tax payer dollars and creative counterfeiting shouldn't both go to waste.

StychoKiller's picture

Why didn't ya just go to the local T!tty bar and chill till yer card got reinstated?

donsluck's picture

Quinn should have replaced public pensions on the python with Goldman Saks. As it stands, his cartoonish response to a complex problem of Contract law and public policy only makes him look, um, shall we say, simple?

Matt's picture

The purpose of the ad is to raise awareness amongst the average citizens of Illinois, in a clear manner.

I don't think a 3-hour documentary with details of the finances of the State for the last 40+ years and a breakdown of payouts and fund performance would really work.

ImReady's picture

Fuck Quinn! Illinois needs to rid itself of the City of Chicago and the worthless corrupt politicians that come from it. 

Tijuana Donkey Show's picture

LOL! I thought you were joking, and I was going to get Rick Rolled. Fact is stranger than fiction. 

Buck Johnson's picture

We are in deep do do if they have to do stuff like this to explain fiscal death to us.

Freddie's picture

Just mint pretend Platinum Oba/Krugman magic coins and grow magic beans. Problem solved.

Anyone notice youtube gun guys and rifle company owners getting murdered in the past few days?

caconhma's picture

The USA reming me so much the Soviet Union I've left 30 years ago.

The good news is this shit will not last long.

creeper's picture

To answer your question...yes.  Unfortunately, no one else seems to have noticed.

dark pools of soros's picture

wait... can't they re-lease out those parking meters again??  just like gold bars?

Spigot's picture

It would be interesting to review the crime reportage for those Counties for the week that happened.

zerozulu's picture

Simple test to check what will happen When SHTF.

Dingleberry's picture

If you really want to see a riot, let a McD's run out of McRibs.

ball-and-chain's picture

There we go again.

Let's blame the victims.

The welfare witches didn't bring down the global economy.

It was the good elite capitalists who gave it to us in the ass.

Dagny Taggart's picture

Remain calm everyone... this is only a test. We will resume with our regularly scheduled programming shortly.

sgt_doom's picture

Ya know, there might be a smaller number of food stamp recipients if American corporations, and American-based multinationals (those guys who refuse to pay fed taxes) hired American programmers and code cowboys and cowgirls, instead of offshoring those jobs or brining in foreign visa scab workers.

Just wait until the EB5s take over your neighborhood....

A Nanny Moose's picture

Surely you are not suggesting that corporations actually pay taxes?

MachineMan's picture

In Mother Russia, software programs you.

localsavage's picture

Coming this fall, a new reality show from Bilderberg TV....Food riots the reality show.  See what happens when people with no job or life skills have their government debit cards shut off.  

Tijuana Donkey Show's picture

They actually went through some training. 

LFMayor's picture

oh don't you worry brother.  There will be OJT for this, like the world has seldom seen.  Take any distopian/post-collapse film you care to remember and there's the baseline.  Training starts when that 3rd, last meal is consumed.

Wendigo Meats, LLC.

Chuck Walla's picture

Coming this fall, a new reality show from Bilderberg TV....Food riots the reality show.  See what happens when people with no job or life skills have their government debit cards shut off. 

The new "American Idle"!


This time starving them will be so much easier...

Osmium's picture

+1  "American Idle"!

I see what you did there.

donsluck's picture

I don't call people who know how to use their situation to their advantage as having "no life skills". This philosophy is increasingly common, that the little guy is cursed for following the rules to his advantage, and the BIG guys are allowed to re-write the rules as things change to their advantage.

helping_friendly_book's picture

I told my dad "work is for chumps"....He said "I'm proud of you son; I was twice your age before I realized that!"

Ookspay's picture

The horror, right in the middle of my lap dance when it became time to swipe my EBT card through the card reader embedded in the strippers ass, the damned thing was "declined"!

centerline's picture

You might be more correct that you realize.

CheapBastard's picture

Popeye's went into panic mode.

TideFighter's picture

24 hours? Good thing they weren't out 48 hours, when homelsss become canibals.

TideFighter's picture

OK, Honey. CALFresh cut my EBT card, could you cut your lap dance to just three notes?

Lost Wages's picture

Oh, SNAP. Where might I obtain a few of these digital nutrition credits?

buzzsaw99's picture

No worries, this is the 9th of the month already.

Sudden Debt's picture

it's not that they don't get enough money, but rather that almost every month has 30 days that's the problem!