Blame It On The Flu

Tyler Durden's picture

Economic weakness in November was blamed on Hurricane Sandy. Economic weakness in December was blamed on the Fiscal Cliff. Now, we know what economic weakness in January will be blamed on: the flu. And, as the old saying goes: "Flu got you down? Take two QEs and see the chairman in the morning."

From Google:

And the CDC's Interactive FluView screen:

Comment viewing options

Select your preferred way to display the comments and click "Save settings" to activate your changes.
Mongo's picture

Not on the boogie?

Lohn Jocke's picture

Sorry boss, I can't make it in to work today. I have Diarrhea.

They never question that one.

pine_marten's picture

That always worked for when I wanted to leave high school early too.

WhyDoesItHurtWhen iPee's picture

4 out of 5 Fedophiles recommend Ponzicodone for symptons of Fecal Cliff and nausea.

Janice's picture

More government lies. We're feeling fine in Florida.

francis_sawyer's picture

I thought Obama 'banned' the flu when all those kids got sick that one time... 

whotookmyalias's picture

Wasn't blame it on the flu a Milli Vinilli song?

Snakeeyes's picture

But, but, Krugman's broken window theory of Sandy should mean that GDP should skyrocket!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

http://confoundedinterest.wordpress.com/2013/01/11/more-housing-angst-us...

IamtheREALmario's picture

That executive order got lost amongst the thousands the wannabee dictator in chief spews out, claiming powers he was not given, has not earned and does not deserve.

... and from the video coverage, he still has the golf swing of a little girl.

Yellowhoard's picture

I'm not sure if I've got the rock n roll fever or the boogie woogie flu?

The Gooch's picture

Bloomberg has limited it to one.

Freddie's picture

Test run of the NWO weaponsized flu.  Part of ObaCare to get rid of older white folks.

Flakmeister's picture

Well politically it is more feasible than real Medicare cuts...

But seriously, how much time do you spend dreaming up the utter nonsense that you type?

It really is;nt that funny unless you frequent places where you expect low-brow KKK type hang out..

Edit: Hey, I get it now, Yo! Crockett and Newem (however the fuck you spell it), someone is here to see you..

TheProphet's picture

Were that only true. The last pandemic killed the young, not the elderly. The body of a younger person fought the infection harder, thus inducing much higher fever and a much higher fatality rate.

Dr. Engali's picture

It's all good mayor bloomfuck says you may just have to suffer a little. No biggie.

lolmao500's picture

Bloomberg better start legalizing meth to save the childrenz!

http://news.msn.com/rumors/rumor-meth-can-cure-the-flu

Meth can cure the flu

A study found that meth could suppress replication of the influenza A virus responsible for the flu.

Bohm Squad's picture

Kleenex and Charmin are cleaning up!

 

 

Itch's picture

Thats down to all the wankers in the world though.

Lohn Jocke's picture

THREE, THREE, THREE, THREE, THREE, THREE, THREE, THREE, CORNER ON THE MARKET.

 

Suckers.

Flakmeister's picture

We are overdue for a good ol'fashioned pandemic...

Make sure you have lots of popcorn handy when it happens...

catacl1sm's picture

While highly contagious, this year's flu strains aren't particularly virulent.

IPA's picture

I suggest looking up the word virulent before you contradict yourself.

tickhound's picture

The art of sickness without death...

Sounds perfect for Big Pharma and the 'flu stawks.'     

ParkAveFlasher's picture

+1 And with so much Ny Quil flying off the shelves, Obama should have an easy time to keep soldiers in the Poppy Fields securing those raw materials. 

In other news, one small banner fro Bad Idea tshirts, one giant tent pitched in my pantaloons.

Panafrican Funktron Robot's picture

Novovirus = big money for toilet paper manufacturers.  

Oleander's picture

I had the swine flu now I have super immunity. They are looking into wether or not the H1N1 vaccine may have also given extra immunity against flu. 

topspinslicer's picture

Nothing like some qe cash to make you feel better -- jumping jacks after converting to some shiney rounds and bars

Skateboarder's picture

(1) Get flu vaccine --> (2) get flu --> (3) go back to (1).

It's national flu month, huh. Is Hallmark milkin the shit out of it yet?

risk-reward's picture

Wonder if The Bernake will punch out early?

topspinslicer's picture

"Wonder if The Bernake will punch out early?"

IT DOESN'T MATTA' !!!!! don't you think they got them there the automatic pilot feature on them there new fangeled printers!

risk-reward's picture

How foolish of me.  Of COURSE Janet knows how to run the printers !

topspinslicer's picture

Biden needs to have a flu summit concerning flu control -- make this bitch earn his keep with endless meetings I says

pods's picture

I see the CDC is doing all it can to remain relevant?

I can't wait till summer when the government tells me what to do outside in the heat.

No doubt we will be deluged with more flu shot propaganda?  

BAAAAAAAH.

Free advice: Almost everyone is deficient in Vitamin D.  

pods

francis_sawyer's picture

An occasional 'roll around' tumble on your silver coin stack ought to cure most ailments...

pods's picture

I used to keep a silver quarter in the dog's water bowl.

Silver is a potent antibiotic.  Never saw success with anything viral, but bacterial it works wonders.

pods

Harbanger's picture

Great idea.  I should get my dog a silver bowl.

Freddie's picture

What about tungsten.

This flu epidemic is a test run for the NWO/Hopey Changey's biologics part of TSA/Homeland Security.

Harbanger's picture

I had the flu last week.  Lasted about 4 days, now I feel great.  Took zinc right away and it seemed to work.

HaroldWang's picture

Bullish for AMZN - I'm upgrading it from hold your nose screaming buy to mega insane buy with a price target of 3000 based on this info.

Squid Vicious's picture

waiting for amzn to break out above 275, then I will start buying

silverserfer's picture

brought to you by tamiflu

Skateboarder's picture

Whoever made that name needs to write "I won't come up with crappy product names" on a blackboard for at least a month.

topspinslicer's picture

AlGore is gonna monetize this flu season you betcha!!!! Fat asse retard face

Greater Fool's picture

He invented the flu, you know.

knukles's picture

I though he invented the Internet.