New York's Other Epidemic

Tyler Durden's picture




 

The flu will come and go, but another, far more troubling epidemic appears to have gripped New York: one which, in a post Sandy Hook world, probably needs as much discussion as tragic mass murders conducted by deranged lone gunmen, especially since absolutely nobody appears to be addressing this particular issue. Why? Because, frankly we think the two kinds of tragedies are very intimately connected.

Via @NYScanner

h/t Alexander Gloy

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Fri, 01/11/2013 - 15:18 | 3145033 francis_sawyer
francis_sawyer's picture

Jump you fuckers!

Fri, 01/11/2013 - 15:28 | 3145080 HelluvaEngineer
HelluvaEngineer's picture

Attention poor residents of New York: please realize that there are other cities out there, and they are willing to accept you.  Places like Detroit and Chicago.

Fri, 01/11/2013 - 15:31 | 3145089 Stackers
Stackers's picture

It's raining men !

Fri, 01/11/2013 - 15:33 | 3145110 Dr. Richard Head
Dr. Richard Head's picture

Bloomberg!  Listen up bitch.  Time to outlaw buildings.  FUCK YOU!

Fri, 01/11/2013 - 15:36 | 3145128 e_goldstein
e_goldstein's picture

Someone with the flu needs to sneeze in his face and then take a wrench to his balls. Let's see how he feels about limiting painkillers after that.

Fri, 01/11/2013 - 15:37 | 3145131 camaro68ss
camaro68ss's picture

Holly fuck, there starting to jump, the end must be near....

guess it saves us ropes and lamp posts

Fri, 01/11/2013 - 15:43 | 3145155 ParkAveFlasher
ParkAveFlasher's picture

I'll be the Debbie Downer, and note that those Queens locales are not in well-to-do neighborhoods where you would find our banker-types. 

Fri, 01/11/2013 - 15:47 | 3145177 Dr. Richard Head
Dr. Richard Head's picture

I disagree.  Those bankster fucks still need to buy coke and hookers.

Fri, 01/11/2013 - 16:00 | 3145230 Chump
Chump's picture

They definitely don't get their hookers and coke from the hood...

Fri, 01/11/2013 - 16:08 | 3145266 Lohn Jocke
Lohn Jocke's picture

We need coke and hookers to be more elastic.

Fri, 01/11/2013 - 16:32 | 3145350 ParkAveFlasher
ParkAveFlasher's picture

Actually both of those Queens neighborhood are largely Muslim, one by Eastern European immigration and one by central Asian / Pakistani immigration, not Colombian.  You make your own inferences there.

Of course, few neighborhoods in western Queens are completely homogeneous.  Just sayin.

Fri, 01/11/2013 - 16:44 | 3145395 JPM Hater001
JPM Hater001's picture

We had a lady pull over on the I-94 bridge into minnesota, get out, and jump.

Her 10 year old daughter was in the car watching.

We are becoming unhinged and I am very afraid.

Fri, 01/11/2013 - 17:09 | 3145467 trav777
trav777's picture

how high's the bridge?  I've wanted to jump out when my kids were pushing me to wit's end too lol

Fri, 01/11/2013 - 18:49 | 3145755 CrockettAlmanac.com
CrockettAlmanac.com's picture

 

 

 

Clark Griswald: Roy... can I call you Roy? Have you even driven cross-country?
Roy Walley: Oh, hell yes. Drove the whole family to Florida. Worst two weeks I ever spent in my life. The smell from the back seat was terrible.
Clark Griswald: Ooooh. Ooooh, I know that smell.

Fri, 01/11/2013 - 19:35 | 3145846 fourchan
fourchan's picture

 

 

do new yorkers like bloombergs nanny state? hes spouting off as if everyone agrees with him.

but to the rest of the country he seems like a little hitler removing freedoms left and right.

Fri, 01/11/2013 - 19:51 | 3145866 Harbanger
Harbanger's picture

I spent a month in NYC with my sister for the holidays and there's all types there.  I found most don't like him at all, but some that think there's no harm and he's looking out for them.  I would say most smokers can't stand him, they pay about $12 for a pack of cigs.

Sat, 01/12/2013 - 02:16 | 3146645 msamour
msamour's picture

My favorite Vacation movie of the bunch. Such a classic.

Fri, 01/11/2013 - 17:16 | 3145495 aerojet
aerojet's picture

While sad, the country is full of narcissists who just realized they are not rock stars, not their cars, not their fucking khakis...

You see where all this is going? 

Sat, 01/12/2013 - 01:52 | 3146619 TBT or not TBT
TBT or not TBT's picture

the all singing all dancing crap of the world?

Sat, 01/12/2013 - 10:42 | 3146925 Widowmaker
Widowmaker's picture

Thank organized govt larceny.

MISSION ACCOMPLISHED, EAT THE POOR FUCKS!

Fri, 01/11/2013 - 16:45 | 3145398 I think I need ...
I think I need to buy a gun's picture

san francisco took care of this problem back in 08 with the golden gate bridge and supposedly put up safety nets

Fri, 01/11/2013 - 17:01 | 3145445 francis_sawyer
francis_sawyer's picture

There are 8 million stories in the Naked City... [these are just 13 of them]

~~~

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SqXNlzQIqlc

Fri, 01/11/2013 - 17:21 | 3145510 knukles
knukles's picture

That's depressing

Fri, 01/11/2013 - 16:51 | 3145415 Freddie
Freddie's picture

Muhammed Hussein Oba'Mugabe has about a 81% approval rate in NYC. 

F them.

 

Fri, 01/11/2013 - 17:40 | 3145565 ParkAveFlasher
ParkAveFlasher's picture

Right, because if there is a single MOPE statistic we can trust, it's "Obama's approval rating".

I have a better idea though, fukc YOUR town. 

Fri, 01/11/2013 - 19:38 | 3145851 fourchan
fourchan's picture

bloomberg just outlawed gravity.

film at 11

Fri, 01/11/2013 - 21:04 | 3146067 MsCreant
MsCreant's picture

Thought you said gravy...

Fri, 01/11/2013 - 23:22 | 3146391 RockyRacoon
RockyRacoon's picture

That'll be next on the menu (sorry, couldn't help myself) of things to help make New Yorkers slim and trim.

Sat, 01/12/2013 - 15:10 | 3147334 MsCreant
MsCreant's picture

Maybe they could just make a certain amount of gravy illegal!

Sat, 01/12/2013 - 18:28 | 3147633 Obviousman
Obviousman's picture

Don't matter how slim and trim you are, you ain't gonna fall UP.

Fri, 01/11/2013 - 19:23 | 3145824 lakecity55
lakecity55's picture

You have to reverse those poll numbers to get the truth.

Fri, 01/11/2013 - 23:46 | 3146437 vamoose1
vamoose1's picture

lmfao     v   v    v   clever  doc    this  is  y  i  luv   zh    its  so   goddamned  funny       imagine    gulp  if  we  had  a   zh   convention  omg

Sat, 01/12/2013 - 18:19 | 3147616 Go Tribe
Go Tribe's picture

Can we get that Zames guy to jump?  Maybe take away his hookers for a day. Lew, too. That fucker is going to mess us up forever.

Fri, 01/11/2013 - 17:11 | 3145477 1100-TACTICAL-12
1100-TACTICAL-12's picture

There is not enough fiatsco in the world, to make me live in NYC.

Fri, 01/11/2013 - 21:51 | 3146194 Stoploss
Stoploss's picture

Why dont we put Piers to work doing what he does best.

Phone hacking..

Have Piers hack the suicide hotlines and bring the whole fucking thing down on top of them?

Sat, 01/12/2013 - 01:45 | 3146612 Freddie
Freddie's picture

Can you imagine if the Fed/WallStreet/Treasury/HFT/Algos were not falsely inflating and blowing the stock market higher?

Hedge fund managers would be diving off apts in Manhattan and mansions in Greenwich.  Hey Stevie Cohen - jump you evil ****er!

Sat, 01/12/2013 - 01:00 | 3146548 jerry_theking_lawler
jerry_theking_lawler's picture

Do your civic duty....start a petition on WH.gov to create a law than prohibits people from jumping to their deaths....but put in the law that if anyone breaks that law, that a new law must be created that will ban all buildings taller than the height possible to jump from and die....you know, because laws stop criminals from acting, right.

nobody would break any laws would they...oh, lets say like.....killing someone(illegal), stealing their property aka guns (illegal), transporting them while loaded (illegal), taking stolen property aka guns onto school property (illegal), destroying school property (illegal) and killing again x26 (illegal x26).....nope, if there was only one more law in this chain then all the others would have been prevented.

Sat, 01/12/2013 - 02:15 | 3146642 A Nanny Moose
A Nanny Moose's picture

But suicide is already illegal. These people should be arrested immediately.

Sat, 01/12/2013 - 04:58 | 3146732 John_Coltrane
John_Coltrane's picture

Buildings don't kill people, gravity does.  And the Pauli exclusion principal certainly makes the landing harder than it would be if two fermions could occupy the same state.  And gravity is the weakest of the four fundamental forces!

Sat, 01/12/2013 - 10:39 | 3146921 Widowmaker
Widowmaker's picture

Your sarcasm is closer to fascist truth than you realize.

That swine fuck will likely do it.

Fri, 01/11/2013 - 15:35 | 3145122 DeadFred
DeadFred's picture

Does Foxconn have a plant in NYC?

Fri, 01/11/2013 - 16:47 | 3145396 akak
akak's picture

They were just squatting on the parapets to take a dump onto the sidewalk below, and simply lost their balance (their one daily ten-minute break not giving them enough time to reach street level and then climb the 20 stories back up).

Fri, 01/11/2013 - 17:10 | 3145465 Albertarocks
Albertarocks's picture

I did that once many years ago in Hawaii.  It's easy to fall especially when you're as drunk as I was.  Luckily I didn't fall but my log sure did.  God bless those innocent victims.

Sat, 01/12/2013 - 02:21 | 3146647 MrButtoMcFarty
MrButtoMcFarty's picture

Used to do a fair amount of gargoyling back in my heavy partying days.

 

That's when you get up on the roof and squeeze out some turds right on the edge. Hilarious stuff on booze and blow!

 

Gargoyling Bitchez!!

Fri, 01/11/2013 - 18:08 | 3145633 AgAu_man
AgAu_man's picture

Better yet... Move the WH, Congress, Senate, DOD, etc. to NYC!  Only office space from 7th floor and up is available.  Everybody base-jumps at 5 PM to get to street level.

"Mischief managed."  -Harry Potter

Fri, 01/11/2013 - 16:09 | 3145267 imbtween
imbtween's picture

these are generally not poor neighborhoods they're jumping in, in fact, it looks like a lot of them are wealthy...

Fri, 01/11/2013 - 16:36 | 3145372 kaiserhoff
kaiserhoff's picture

Jump Ben, jump...  Oh wait, let me attach the rope.

Fri, 01/11/2013 - 18:58 | 3145780 Raymond K Hessel
Raymond K Hessel's picture

IMINBETWEEN,

What the fuck are you talking about?  

 

With the exception of 2 or 3 locations in Manhattan, they are all in shitty neighborhoods.  

Take a walk southbound on Gates Ave from Fresh Pond Road and tweet me from the ER at Wyckoff Heights.

Sat, 01/12/2013 - 01:19 | 3146575 e_goldstein
e_goldstein's picture

Sorry dude, Benny's in DC. Lloyd, Jamie, and Blythe on the other hand...

Fri, 01/11/2013 - 16:47 | 3145403 El Oregonian
El Oregonian's picture

Gov't sponsored Psyops and mind-control through forced drugging and coercion creates most of these tragedies. Their latest massacres in Aurora Co. and Sandy Hook CT. will prove their involvement eventually. It's the "Agenda" that reveals their intent. "Problem-Cause-Solution" Initiated Locally-Enforced Globally (ILEG).

These sick pukes need jail'in fast... 

http://www.naturalnews.com/038392_Sandy_Hook_Dark_Knight_Rises_Batman_mo...

https://s5-us4.ixquick-proxy.com/do/spg/proxy?ep=4b436345624164454c316f4...

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