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France Launches Major Military Campaign In Mali, Bungles Hostage Rescue Attempt

Tyler Durden's picture


Whether it is to serve as a diversion from the ongoing deterioration in the French economy (purchases of French sovereign bonds by the SNB implying "all is well" notwithstanding), to distract public attention from the recent humiliation (and backfire) of the socialist government's "tax the rich" campaign or for whatever other reason, is unclear for now, but what is clear is that over the past two days France has launched a major airstrike and military campaign against Islamist rebels in northern Mali, the pretext being that control of northern Mali by the rebels posed a security threat to Europe.

What is also clear is that even as France is protecting "European interests" deep in the heart of African darkness, elsewhere in Africa, the socialist country, whose military "expertise" is best known for building impassable fortifications all around perfectly crossable forests, suffered yet another offensive humiliation when not only was a hostage held by Somalian insurgents, al Shabaab, killed during an attempted rescue operation, but a commando from the "rescuing" team was allegedly left behind during the bungled operation. The cherry on top in president Hollande's first major foreign policy excursion is that the same insurgents subsequently released a statement that the hostage was perfectly safe, even as a French pilot was killed in the Mali airstrikes early on in the campaign, all of which probably makes France wish it had just stayed home.

From Reuters on what is set to be another major humiliation for the French "military machine":

French fighter jets bombed Islamist rebels in Mali for a third day on Sunday as Paris poured more troops into the capital Bamako, awaiting the arrival of a West African force to dislodge al Qaeda-linked insurgents from the country's north.


French Defence Minister Jean-Yves Le Drian said France's dramatic intervention on Friday to bomb a convoy of heavily armed Islamist fighters sweeping southwards had stopped them from seizing Mali's capital Bamako within days.


Western countries fear Islamists could use Mali as a base for attacks on the West, forming a link with al Qaeda militants in Yemen, Somalia and North Africa.


Le Drian said former colonial power France was carrying out continuous bombing raids against the alliance of rebel groups, which seized the country's vast desert north in April.


"There are raids going on now: there were some last night, and there will be more tomorrow," Le Drian told French television. "The president is totally determined that we must eradicate these terrorists who threaten the security of Mali, our own country and Europe."


A Reuters cameraman reported seeing on Sunday more than 100 French troops disembarking from a military cargo plane at Bamako airport, just on the outskirts of the capital.


Bamako itself was calm on Sunday, with the sun streaking through the dust enveloping the city as the seasonal Harmattan wind blew from the Sahara. Some cars drove around with French flags draped from the windows to celebrate Paris's intervention.


President Francois Hollande has made it clear that France's aim in Mali is to support the deployment of a West African mission to retake the north, endorsed by the United Nations, the European Union and the United States.


A French pilot was killed on Friday when rebels in Mali shot down his helicopter.

Naturally, since Russia (or China) have no interest in preserving their geopolitical interest in the west-African republic, the UN has no problem with sanctioning a military operation over yet another sovereign. But at least it's democratic.

As for the parallel campaign staged by France several thousand miles east in Somalia, things did not turn out quite as good.

France sent special forces into Somalia to rescue a secret agent but insurgents apparently killed their hostage during the raid along with a commando, Defence Minister Jean-Yves Le Drian said on Saturday.


The intelligence agency team flew into southern Somalia by helicopter under cover of darkness to try to free Denis Allex, held since 2009, by al Qaeda-linked al Shabaab, on the same day France launched air strikes against Islamist militants in Mali.


"Commandos broke into where Allex was being detained last night and immediately faced strong resistance," Le Drian told a news conference.


"Intense combat took place, during which - and now I speak with caution - everything leads us to believe that Denis Allex was unfortunately killed by his captors."


The defence ministry said earlier that 17 Somali fighters were killed in a mission prompted by "the intransigence of the terrorists, who refused to negotiate for three and half years".

What is worse are reports from the locals that the hostage was not in fact killed, suggesting the French expedition merely used his death as a scapegoat to justify a retreat so prompt it may even have left one of its commandos behind:

Sowing confusion, Al Shabaab said in a statement that Allex was still alive.


A French commando died from wounds sustained in the Somali raid and a second was missing, Le Drian said.


Al Shabaab said in a statement that Allex was alive and being held at a location far from the base where French military helicopters attacked overnight.


"The injured French soldier is now in the custody of the mujahideen and Allex still remains safe and far from the location of the battle," it said. "Several French soldiers were killed in the battle and many more were injured before they fled from the scene of battle, leaving behind some military paraphernalia and even one of their comrades on the ground."


When asked about whether the missing commando was now in the hands of Al Shabaab, French Army chief Admiral Edouard Guillaud said: "If he is alive then he could be, but he could also be hiding."

Embarassing or not, the French military campaign is merely doing the one thing all "developed, democratic" governments do when left with no other options: distract from problems inside the country. And as can be seen in the list below, France certainly has experience in protecting its national interests especially within its former African colonies:

  • 1991 - DJIBOUTI/ETHIOPIA - French troops based in Djibouti help check the Afar rebellion and disarm Ethiopian soldiers who cross the border after the overthrow of Ethiopian President Mengistu Haile Mariam.
  • 1994 - RWANDA - French and Belgian soldiers evacuate Europeans from Rwanda as Hutu hardliners massacre hundreds of thousands, mainly Tutsis. Later in the year some 2,500 French troops, backed by contingents from African countries, launch "Operation Turquoise", described as a humanitarian effort, from Zaire into eastern Rwanda.
  • 1995 - COMOROS - French forces crush a repeat coup attempt led by French mercenary Bob Denard against President Said Mohamed Djohar. About 200 French soldiers forced Denard to leave the Comoros and restored order after president Ahmed Abdallah's assassination by his guard in 1989.
  • 1996/97 - CENTRAL AFRICAN REPUBLIC - French troops intervene to end army pay mutiny against President Ange-Felix Patasse.
  • 1997 - CONGO REPUBLIC - Some 1,200 French troops rescue French and African nationals during fighting between Congo army and supporters of military leader Denis Sassou Nguesso, now president again.
  • 2002 - IVORY COAST - French forces mount "Operation Licorne" to help westerners trapped by a military uprising which effectively cut Ivory Coast in two. In 2004 they destroyed Ivory Coast's small air force after government forces bombed a French base.
  • 2008 - CHAD - A new French intervention bolsters the regime of Chadian president Idriss Deby and evacuates foreigners during attacks by rebels who crossed from neighbouring Sudan.
  • 2011 - LIBYA - French planes are the first to bomb Muammar Gaddafi's forces in March after the United Nations voted to allow intervention in Libya to protect civilians caught up in a rebellion against Gaddafi's four-decade rule. NATO took command of the overall mission on March 31 which allowed Libyan rebels to defeat government forces and effectively seize power.
  • 2011 - IVORY COAST - French forces tip the balance alongside U.N. forces in the civil war which erupted after the refusal of Laurent Gbagbo to step down and accept the election victory of Alassane Ouattara as president.
  • 2013 - French aircraft pound Islamist rebels in Mali after they tried to expand their power base and headed towards the Malian capital, Bamako. France had warned that the control of northern Mali by the rebels posed a security threat to Europe. At the same time France mounted an unsuccessful commando raid to try to rescue a French hostage held by al Shabaab militants in Somalia, also allied to al Qaeda. The hostage was killed.

All of which leads us to one simple conclusion: expect some very ugly economic numbers out of France now that even Germany is expected to report the first leg of a full blown recession.


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Sun, 01/13/2013 - 11:24 | 3148673 SafelyGraze
SafelyGraze's picture

it's all part of france's effort to increase its presence in 35 african nations

Sun, 01/13/2013 - 11:47 | 3148717 Fukushima Sam
Fukushima Sam's picture

Oh no, Not Another Terrorist Organization!

Sun, 01/13/2013 - 11:49 | 3148728 john39
john39's picture

zato- zionist armies of total occupation

Sun, 01/13/2013 - 12:30 | 3148808 Chupacabra-322
Chupacabra-322's picture

“When all else loses, they take you to war.” -Gerald Celente

Sun, 01/13/2013 - 12:43 | 3148836 Anusocracy
Anusocracy's picture

The Froggies are showing that they are subhumans too.


Sun, 01/13/2013 - 13:02 | 3148876 Bicycle Repairman
Bicycle Repairman's picture

This has nothing to do with hostages.  There's nothing in Mali worth possessing.  Mali threatens no one.  Not even themselves.  Why wreck Mali?  It's wreckable.

Sun, 01/13/2013 - 13:14 | 3148908 TBT or not TBT
TBT or not TBT's picture

If it is in subsaharan Africa and its not certain suburbs in South Africa, then rest assured it is wrecked to begin with, pre-wrecked in the Garp sense.

Sun, 01/13/2013 - 13:35 | 3148943 vmromk
vmromk's picture

The only thing the French frogs can do right is SUCK a COCK.

Sun, 01/13/2013 - 13:42 | 3148954 TBT or not TBT
TBT or not TBT's picture

It is a learned skill, and most of the training they get now is from high production quality american porn films made in Vegas and LA suburbs.   Same deal with the grooming of the pits and crotches.   Imported from El Lay.

Sun, 01/13/2013 - 15:32 | 3149155 jerry_theking_lawler
jerry_theking_lawler's picture

how much GOLD does mali have?

Sun, 01/13/2013 - 15:38 | 3149166 knukles
knukles's picture


Sun, 01/13/2013 - 17:05 | 3149322 Nassim
Nassim's picture

Yes, uranium is key to understanding what is going on. Basically, the uranium is in the northern desert which is traditionally controlled by the Tuareg (browns)

The government of the country is black. Traditionally, the Tuareg raided the south to get slaves to sell further north. They have been cut out of the wealth brought in to exploit the uranium.

What is going on is 100% a resources play. France's 50+ nuclear reactors need the fuel ... badly

Sun, 01/13/2013 - 17:22 | 3149345 TwoShortPlanks
TwoShortPlanks's picture

I think this song sums it up (Circ - Danger)...appropriate video too!

Sun, 01/13/2013 - 17:30 | 3149354 Big Slick
Big Slick's picture

French attacks on muslims?  I hope native Parisians have their auto insurance paid up.  Tyler please keep an eye on this.

Sun, 01/13/2013 - 18:12 | 3149411 TBT or not TBT
TBT or not TBT's picture

Non arab muslims.   Big difference.

Sun, 01/13/2013 - 22:19 | 3149765 sullymandias
sullymandias's picture

Gold is mined in the southern region and Mali has the third highest gold production in Africa (after South Africa and Ghana).[47]

Sun, 01/13/2013 - 23:51 | 3149886 Harlequin001
Harlequin001's picture

WTF. Don't they normally just fly in and surrender?


Sun, 01/13/2013 - 21:10 | 3149677 New_Meat
New_Meat's picture


Sun, 01/13/2013 - 15:59 | 3149211 WmMcK
WmMcK's picture

LA = Lower Alabama, right?

Sun, 01/13/2013 - 15:34 | 3149158 jerry_theking_lawler
jerry_theking_lawler's picture

3rd largest gold producing country in Africa....

Sun, 01/13/2013 - 16:00 | 3149213 tickhound
tickhound's picture

Follow the truffles.

Sun, 01/13/2013 - 23:18 | 3149822 Go Tribe
Go Tribe's picture

Why doesn't France just do what the Saudis do: pay America to fight its wars.

Sun, 01/13/2013 - 23:53 | 3149888 Harlequin001
Harlequin001's picture

Because they're skint.

Sun, 01/13/2013 - 11:49 | 3148730 CPL
CPL's picture

Hooray!  Budget justifications!

Sun, 01/13/2013 - 12:40 | 3148828 aint no fortuna...
aint no fortunate son's picture

Should be a good boost for 2013 GDP

Sun, 01/13/2013 - 12:53 | 3148850 CPL
CPL's picture

Naw, it's a good excuse to print more money.

Sun, 01/13/2013 - 12:09 | 3148772 AU5K
AU5K's picture

Wag the tail.

Sun, 01/13/2013 - 12:48 | 3148844 ItchyBeard
ItchyBeard's picture

Wag the dog!

(This bears no relation to Chinese citizenism's 'Wok the dog')

Sun, 01/13/2013 - 13:14 | 3148904 palmereldritch
palmereldritch's picture

What's french for alQaeda/alBanksta, TSA, domestic terrorism, increased police state?

Raison d'ebt ?

Mon, 01/14/2013 - 04:15 | 3150094 Lore
Lore's picture



Re: "[mission] to dislodge al Qaeda-linked insurgents from the country's north."

What is NOT linked to Al Qaeda nowadays?  Those guys sure get around. 

"Intense combat took place, during which - and now I speak with caution - everything leads us to believe that Denis Allex was unfortunately killed by his captors."

An alternative story could involve troops going in to eliminate a compromised asset. 

No facts. Just fishy smells. 

Sun, 01/13/2013 - 12:26 | 3148801 TBT or not TBT
TBT or not TBT's picture

This was france acting unilaterally.   Remember that used to be an insult.    NATO's got nothing to do with this.

Sun, 01/13/2013 - 14:01 | 3148977 Motorhead
Motorhead's picture

"NATO's got nothing to do with this."

Amazing...for once, eh?  But in due time...once they pull out of Afghanistan, they'll need somewhere else to stir shit up no where near the North Atlantic.

Sun, 01/13/2013 - 14:18 | 3149002 Matt
Matt's picture

America is deploying soldiers to Mali to train and advise, but with the open option of engaging directly in combat. You really think America and France both happen to be deploying into the same country, with no co-ordination at all?


EDIT: BTW, The government of Mali asked Canada to come help them too, but Harper told them that unfortunately we cannot at this time.

Sun, 01/13/2013 - 21:25 | 3149687 CPL
Sun, 01/13/2013 - 16:01 | 3149212 El Oregonian
El Oregonian's picture

Oh my! You'd better send in the "Piece (of shit) President" in at once! He'll sort it all out and if need be, will transfer truckloads of MAN Pads, RPG's, Hell-Fire Missiles and such into Mali from Benghazi.

Sun, 01/13/2013 - 12:04 | 3148761 Eireann go Brach
Eireann go Brach's picture

Give them all Obamaphones and EBT cards and go home!

Sun, 01/13/2013 - 12:20 | 3148790 msmith9962
msmith9962's picture

Looks like they are planning a night mission.  The lead jet has the big flashlight attachment on.

Sun, 01/13/2013 - 13:19 | 3148918 ATM
ATM's picture

Now that is fucking funny! 



Sun, 01/13/2013 - 13:58 | 3148974 catacl1sm
catacl1sm's picture

I thought the same thing when I saw the pic. lol

Sun, 01/13/2013 - 15:36 | 3149164 jerry_theking_lawler
jerry_theking_lawler's picture

so, its a flashlight pod? kinda like an ECM pod but with about 5 million what's it run off of? 2157 AA batteries?

Sun, 01/13/2013 - 11:25 | 3148677 Mongo
Mongo's picture


Sun, 01/13/2013 - 12:56 | 3148858 ParkAveFlasher
ParkAveFlasher's picture

Zut!  Alors.

Sun, 01/13/2013 - 13:15 | 3148909 TBT or not TBT
TBT or not TBT's picture

putain de bordel de merde!

Sun, 01/13/2013 - 11:27 | 3148679 Super Broccoli
Super Broccoli's picture

the killed officer was piloting a 1960's helicopter with no armor ... what kind of idiot would use such weapons today and expect our guys to survive ?


Sun, 01/13/2013 - 11:32 | 3148689 FederalReserveB...
FederalReserveBankofTerror's picture

The helicopter would have had armor if Gerard Depardieu only paid his fair share of taxes!

Sun, 01/13/2013 - 11:35 | 3148697 knukles
knukles's picture

The last time La France went to war on their own (well, they did have the help of the Brits) was in Libya.  After 3 days they ran out of bombs.  And had to ask NATO who in turn asked the US to release munitions from US inventory.  (Public record)
Holly Mail!

Sun, 01/13/2013 - 12:13 | 3148778 AlaricBalth
AlaricBalth's picture

Perhaps the French should have tried taunting them.

French Soldier: I don't want to talk to you no more, you empty headed animal food trough wiper. I fart in your general direction. Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries.

Monty Python

Sun, 01/13/2013 - 12:30 | 3148810 TBT or not TBT
TBT or not TBT's picture

Acting in Africa, the French will be brutal, more efficient, with the technical means they do have.   They don't have freaking JAGs reviewing every little gesture they're making out amongst the AK and RPG toting dead enders of the muslim turd world.   Also, France's native muzzies are not malien muzzies, but rather arabs.   They've got a free hand.  No one gives a shit about Mali, or almost.

Sun, 01/13/2013 - 13:21 | 3148920 ATM
ATM's picture

I think the French are trying to incite their Muslims residents. It's total chaos they want and they will get it.

Sun, 01/13/2013 - 13:38 | 3148945 TBT or not TBT
TBT or not TBT's picture

Aha, the French are feeding their north african residents, and providing them free health care, notably free delivery of babies, and free housing, so they can then incite a civil war with them.... by militarily opposing racially and ethnically different muslims thousands of miles of way.  You may be on to something.

Sun, 01/13/2013 - 16:41 | 3149285 Maghreb
Maghreb's picture

Those North African's are there to terrify the Native French so they can spunk their money on wars and when they are broke tell them the African's took all the money. Then they send native French millitary technology backed by North African mercenaries and troops to fight the war in Africa. Leads to more millitary tech in Africa and African refugees in major cities. Keeps going until everyone in Africa and Europe is dead or sealed in ever more dystopian millitarized cities.

Switch of the welfare and interventions and see what happens in Africa and the cities of Europe and North America. There is no race war the government is playing everyone off against everyone else. 

Mon, 01/14/2013 - 16:19 | 3151891 ATM
ATM's picture


They incite the terror threats to further reduce the Liberties of the people. It's what governmetn does best. Create the very conditions that cause the people to willingly give up their powers to the Party that promises they will be safe.

Sun, 01/13/2013 - 11:51 | 3148735 CPL
CPL's picture

If you go looking at the amount of parts counterfeiting in the aerospace industry you wouldn't fly anything modern either or step foot on a plane again. 

Sun, 01/13/2013 - 14:11 | 3148987 DoChenRollingBearing
DoChenRollingBearing's picture

We know a pilot with American Airlines.  He feels EXACTLY the same.

Sun, 01/13/2013 - 21:11 | 3149679 CPL
CPL's picture

It's unbelievable how much of it goes on and it's getting worse with credit locked up in banks.  Forces all those carriers to make a quick buck to pop their year end.  

To those unfamiliar with the practice.  The best case scenario is it a restamped part that's been OEMed.  At least it hasn't been used.  Worse case, it's the broken part being removed from a plane and then SOLD back into the parts dealers then BACK into the pool of 'parts'.  It's estimated right now that it's one in eight parts, off record, media spin is 1 in 12.  It's getting worse every day.

So those wondering why the 787 was grounded, 5% of that plane should have never been flying and it was all engine replacement parts.  Unreal the crap the industry tries to get away with.  Only way now to guarantee a plane for insurance is to have one built from scratch and a parts assembly shipped with it which costs a fuck tonne of money.  Since nobody has the money to do that anymore and the technology is expensive/the workers are now very old, it's a crap shoot on getting all the right people, parts and practice lined up now.

Worst record for pirate parts are those corporate private jets.  More specialized the plane the higher the likelihood of problems because of the refurbish costs.  Helicopters fit that bill except all those ancient tin cans from Vietnam that were built to be repaired on field.  Might not be able to find a part, but you can find a junk yard somewhere and a welding torch.  Doesn't work so well with engines that have multiple guidance systems that control the torus of air to keep a brick with missiles floating.  So that's why they won't use the pretty stuff for Africa.  The targets are too far from a mechanic that is worth more than every pilot that flys them.


So be assured...shortages are everywhere.  In aerospace though they make planes fall out of the sky.  

Sun, 01/13/2013 - 13:12 | 3148901 resurger
resurger's picture

In Iraq they shoot down helis with a hunting rifle ...

Sun, 01/13/2013 - 11:30 | 3148682 nmewn
nmewn's picture

I thought Depardieu moved to Russia or Belgium...why are they attacking Mali again?

Sun, 01/13/2013 - 11:45 | 3148716 Super Broccoli
Super Broccoli's picture

i believe the true reason is not Mali but neighbouring countries such as Niger and Tchad. The french want to protect their Areva Uranium mines there and they don't want those "terrorists" to threat those facilities as they did in the past (i think they still hold something like 10 french ingeneers hostage somewhere in that desert)

Sun, 01/13/2013 - 11:48 | 3148724 Global Hunter
Global Hunter's picture

absolutely correct

Sun, 01/13/2013 - 12:59 | 3148868 AlaricBalth
AlaricBalth's picture

In addition to uranium, Mali is the third largest gold producer in Africa with production exceeding 43.5 tons in 2011. A majority of the the mining companies are domiciled in N. America and Europe.

The flow of gold to the west will not be allowed to be impeded.

Sun, 01/13/2013 - 13:07 | 3148886 Rusty Shorts
Rusty Shorts's picture

You are correct, lots of Gold there in Mali...

Sun, 01/13/2013 - 13:16 | 3148910 palmereldritch
palmereldritch's picture

Which means they are just dying for a new central bank!

Sun, 01/13/2013 - 13:29 | 3148935 Rusty Shorts
Rusty Shorts's picture

Mali is Gold Fields new frontier' Turner

Sun, 01/13/2013 - 13:39 | 3148949 TBT or not TBT
TBT or not TBT's picture

Hey now, everyone knows Valerie Plame's husband went to Niger and Chad and the whole yellowcake thing was just a pretext for Halliburton!

Sun, 01/13/2013 - 14:56 | 3149085 Bansters-in-my-...
Bansters-in-my- feces's picture

Hey....Super Broccoli
You used the "N" word.

Sun, 01/13/2013 - 11:30 | 3148683 WineSorbet
WineSorbet's picture

makes France wish it had just stayed home.

I wish every country would just stay home!

Sun, 01/13/2013 - 12:07 | 3148768 Rossalgondamer
Rossalgondamer's picture

Home doesn't.

Sun, 01/13/2013 - 12:19 | 3148786 SilverDOG
SilverDOG's picture



Funny how your arrows will not respond. Solution denial control.



Sun, 01/13/2013 - 11:30 | 3148684 Colonel Klink
Colonel Klink's picture

Did anyone hear about the modern marvel of engineering that French tanks are? 

They have 1 forward gear and 3 reverse!

Sun, 01/13/2013 - 11:39 | 3148703 francis_sawyer
francis_sawyer's picture

I was told that the gun barrel had this long rod that popped out of it with a flag attached to the end that said "I SURRENDER"...

Sun, 01/13/2013 - 11:50 | 3148731 a growing concern
a growing concern's picture

I think it's permanently mounted to the barrel.

Sun, 01/13/2013 - 13:12 | 3148841 francis_sawyer
francis_sawyer's picture

It's a funny 'visual' in any case...


Edit: Well, except for a few [evidently], who also don't enjoy the lack of serious drama in 'Inspector Clouseau' movies...

Mon, 01/14/2013 - 05:47 | 3150124 tenpanhandle
tenpanhandle's picture

the forward gear is in case the enemy gets behind them (the rest of the joke).

Sun, 01/13/2013 - 11:47 | 3148719 Super Broccoli
Super Broccoli's picture

well in fact you're right, during WWII one of the french tanks was going faster in reverse gear than forward :-) ahah

Sun, 01/13/2013 - 11:48 | 3148723 mess nonster
mess nonster's picture

Ah the French Military after Waterloo.. somehow it's never been the same. Try as I might, I always confuse Captain Dreyfus with Marty Feldman

Sun, 01/13/2013 - 16:30 | 3149240 tickhound
tickhound's picture

The last war the French won was the French Revolution.  Won primarily due to the fact that the opponent was also French.

Sun, 01/13/2013 - 12:32 | 3148813 indygo55
indygo55's picture

There are tons of used French battle rifles for sale, never fired, dropped once.


Sun, 01/13/2013 - 12:44 | 3148838 TBT or not TBT
TBT or not TBT's picture

Their spec-ops guys and foreign legion can be pretty solid, the problem is up the command chain.

Sun, 01/13/2013 - 17:54 | 3149387 Uber Vandal
Uber Vandal's picture

The foreign legion is comprised of 76% non-French personnel, except for the officers.


Sun, 01/13/2013 - 11:31 | 3148687 Jendrzejczyk
Jendrzejczyk's picture


President Francois Hollande says domestic security to be stepped up as his country battles al-Qaeda-linked groups. The old "invade another country to make yours safer" trick backfires again.
Sun, 01/13/2013 - 11:37 | 3148698 knukles
knukles's picture

Hollande is unpopular so he invades a foreign country and steps up internal security.

Pass the Bernays sauce, please.

Sun, 01/13/2013 - 11:50 | 3148736 Jendrzejczyk
Jendrzejczyk's picture

You are saucy as usual Knucks. Not much difference between Hollandaise and Bernays.

Sun, 01/13/2013 - 12:00 | 3148755 booboo
booboo's picture

You mean the Bernanke Sauce, a concoction made from the boiled jaw bone of an ass and a dash of sheep dip.

Sun, 01/13/2013 - 12:31 | 3148812 azzhatter
azzhatter's picture

I believe Liesman has swallowed all the bernanke sauce

Sun, 01/13/2013 - 16:26 | 3149258 wee-weed up
wee-weed up's picture

Bernanke Sauce...

The Obama Admin spreads it liberally on the shit sandwich they force us to eat!

Sun, 01/13/2013 - 12:56 | 3148859 resurger
resurger's picture


Sun, 01/13/2013 - 13:34 | 3148941 NoClueSneaker
NoClueSneaker's picture

Well, he bought in the Clinton's franchise - Khartum was hit by Monica-Cruise

Missile  after some lying b4 Congress ....

Sun, 01/13/2013 - 11:31 | 3148688 lizzy36
lizzy36's picture

If one is relying on the french to "rescue them" one should be prepared for a very long long wait.

French are good at food, booze and taking summers off.They aren't exactly known for their courage.

But we can all celebrate the bombing, by first world countries, of more brown people......booyah!

Sun, 01/13/2013 - 11:50 | 3148734 Rainman
Rainman's picture

Frenchies....they fight with their feet and fuck with their face. ( old WWII yarn )

Sun, 01/13/2013 - 11:56 | 3148747 disabledvet
disabledvet's picture

"The French are just great in bed" is what you're suppose to say. What's next...another English report of "the demise of Napoleon"? Presidents Jefferson and Adams await....

Sun, 01/13/2013 - 12:48 | 3148842 TBT or not TBT
TBT or not TBT's picture

They put their pants on the same way we do, but have sex less than we do, and less artfully.  All that lover reputation is from the boring films about it, not the real deal.   Oh, they also put their penises in vaginas and other orifices about the same ways we do.    Maybe the same as Maliens.

Sun, 01/13/2013 - 13:07 | 3148889 TheGardener
TheGardener's picture

But they leave their socks on !

Sun, 01/13/2013 - 13:12 | 3148900 TBT or not TBT
TBT or not TBT's picture

My experience is they leave their hose on, and the high heels usually just come off inadvertently.

Sun, 01/13/2013 - 15:44 | 3149178 knukles
knukles's picture

That's what straps, chains and padlocks are for, bitchez

Sun, 01/13/2013 - 15:52 | 3149198 WmMcK
WmMcK's picture

We are entering into the Hell where:
The French are the Mechanics,
The Germans are the Police,
The British are the Cooks,
The Italians are the Bankers
and the Swiss are the Lovers.

Sun, 01/13/2013 - 11:33 | 3148692 Bad Attitude
Bad Attitude's picture

When will Dear Leader commit US forces to Mali to insure that Mali becomes another Islamic state?

Sun, 01/13/2013 - 11:35 | 3148696 nmewn
nmewn's picture

Valerie Jarrets working on it.

Sun, 01/13/2013 - 12:02 | 3148758 Temporalist
Temporalist's picture

"She was Deputy Chief of Staff for Mayor Richard Daley, during which time (1991) she hired Michelle Robinson, then engaged to Barack Obama"

Sun, 01/13/2013 - 13:09 | 3148895 TBT or not TBT
TBT or not TBT's picture

Her motto could be "Hear all evil, See all evil, Speak all evil"

Sun, 01/13/2013 - 14:30 | 3149017 Jam Akin
Jam Akin's picture

It's even a layer or two deeper than that, Temporalist:  the excerpt is adapted from the link below

Obama’s early mentor(or real father?), Frank Marshall Davis, was a member of the Communist Party and a former Soviet Agent who was under FBI investigation for a total of 19 years.  In 1948, Davis moved from Chicago to Hawaii leaving behind a colleague named Vernon Jarrett, father-in-law of Senior White House advisor, Valerie Jarrett. Yes, the Jarrett’s are communists as well.  Both Jarrett and Davis wrote for a leftwing newspaper called the Chicago Defender in which they espoused a communist  takeover of the United States Government.


The "Jarrett was born in Iran" thing is a misdirection.  Key question:  why did Obama move to Chicago to start his career as a "community organizer" after working for a CIA front company in NY out of college?

Sun, 01/13/2013 - 11:33 | 3148693 PUD
PUD's picture

The French commando team

Sun, 01/13/2013 - 12:23 | 3148796 edb5s
edb5s's picture

Dont't forget about their missile-launching prowess (I know this video was posted here):

Sun, 01/13/2013 - 11:35 | 3148695 tony bonn
tony bonn's picture

hollande is a bildeberger appointed president just as soetoro was a rockefeller appointed president....they all do the bidding of the plutocrats who are mammon worshippers of the worst kind....

hollande and soetoro are war mongering murderers....

mali poses as much a threat to europe as either cuba or vietnam did to the usa....just another trumped up reason to spend trillions on war and line the pockets of plutocrats and the academic hangers on...

Sun, 01/13/2013 - 12:03 | 3148725 Temporalist
Temporalist's picture

"Gold, livestock and agriculture amount to eighty percent of Mali's exports"


It's called the "Gold Coast" for a reason.  Better take out those terrists or they will stop the flow of the spice...and the uranium...

Sun, 01/13/2013 - 12:49 | 3148845 TBT or not TBT
TBT or not TBT's picture

First Dune reference.   Score!     Jean-Luc Picard was in the David Lynch version, and Sean Young, yowza.

Sun, 01/13/2013 - 13:16 | 3148912 Rusty Shorts
Rusty Shorts's picture, it's true that Mali has alot of Gold, but the Gold Coast is now called Ghana, which has even more Gold...and Oil...

Sun, 01/13/2013 - 13:32 | 3148938 resurger
resurger's picture

nothing changes, fuck them both.


Sun, 01/13/2013 - 11:39 | 3148700 joego1
joego1's picture

Hot war, hot fiat. Next China japan and for the main course isreal attacks Iran. Uncle Sam comes hat in hand asking  for your sacrifice as patriots.

Sun, 01/13/2013 - 11:40 | 3148704 knukles
knukles's picture


(humming la Marseillaises)

Sun, 01/13/2013 - 12:00 | 3148756 cristo
cristo's picture

Close but these guys are French Canadian troops .

Sun, 01/13/2013 - 15:45 | 3149182 knukles
knukles's picture

"close enough for government work"
                  -Gerard Depardieu

Sun, 01/13/2013 - 11:43 | 3148707 Lucius Corneliu...
Lucius Cornelius Sulla's picture

What is in Mali that the French may be interested in?  No oil, mass poverty...


Sun, 01/13/2013 - 11:47 | 3148721 SafelyGraze
SafelyGraze's picture

maybe -- just maybe -- mali has been providing aid and comfort to whoever caused gid's (under-reported) broken leg

Sun, 01/13/2013 - 16:50 | 3149300 Sparkey
Sparkey's picture

I'm glad to hear this news, anytime we don't see "Gid" for a while I worry, the World needs more men like Gid Gonzo! (To save us, you know what I mean, right, he has been down this road before, he can guide our way and lead us to the promised land!)

Sun, 01/13/2013 - 11:50 | 3148732 Nozza
Nozza's picture

Uranium desposits

Sun, 01/13/2013 - 12:02 | 3148749 Lucius Corneliu...
Lucius Cornelius Sulla's picture

Ahhh!  Now its starting to make some sense.  France uses nuclear for most of its power and they need uranium.  Mali is a weak country so blame it on Islam and take it.  Imperialism 101. Thanks for the heads up.


Sun, 01/13/2013 - 12:28 | 3148802 Global Hunter
Global Hunter's picture

uranium in neighbouring Chad and Niger as well, also a lot of capital has been going to develop gold mining projects and exploration and production the last 10 years in Mali.  I reckon they want to establish a secured "footing" in the region and Mali has been chosen from which they can attempt to control Niger  and Chad as well.

Sun, 01/13/2013 - 12:55 | 3148856 Muppet Pimp
Muppet Pimp's picture

To add another layer to the onion, some studying the monetary situation claim that in a 'Chicago Plan' (see IMF paper) or quasi 'CP' wherein assets are somehow valued against the currency (rather than debt alone), that some in said school of thought believe in marking to market while it is 'still in the ground'.  That is to say, that Dave has heard of such ideas being bandied about. 

"We are not broke, on the contrary, look at all the minerals we own" might be overheard in certain company maybe.

Sun, 01/13/2013 - 13:00 | 3148872 TBT or not TBT
TBT or not TBT's picture

Well, that's a more concrete plan than the platinum coin.    The BCE could draw a circle around Africa's gold and diamond mines and plant a flag on them.   After all, the gold doesn't move from vault to vault much, so why even dig it up.

Sun, 01/13/2013 - 13:05 | 3148881 TBT or not TBT
TBT or not TBT's picture

Heeey, wait a minute, I may have just saved the world economy!

Sun, 01/13/2013 - 13:08 | 3148891 TBT or not TBT
TBT or not TBT's picture

Let's petition the White House to make me treasury secretary.  

TBT or not TBT would be a highly ironic signature to add to the dollar bills with all those presidents on them.

Sun, 01/13/2013 - 13:39 | 3148948 Muppet Pimp
Muppet Pimp's picture

Or maybe even "What sort of goodies might bondholders accept in the event of a French sovereign default?"


Sun, 01/13/2013 - 13:07 | 3148888 reload
reload's picture

Almost certainly very decent oil deposits in the Northern territory as well.

Sun, 01/13/2013 - 18:53 | 3149472 Lucius Corneliu...
Lucius Cornelius Sulla's picture

The internal politics and perpetual civil wars of Africa are of no interest to France or the USA unless their is something profitable.  al-Qaeda was synomynous with "There's oil there".  It appears that it can also mean, "There's uranium there."

Sun, 01/13/2013 - 11:43 | 3148708 joego1
joego1's picture

Maybe the should have thought of this before they invited 5 million Muslims to come and torch cars. Good strategy.

Sun, 01/13/2013 - 11:48 | 3148726 john39
john39's picture

but France and the French government are not under the control of the French people....  just like the U.S., an occupied government controlled by outside interests.  No different than the U.S. federal government allowing poor migrants to flood into the U.S. through the southern border for decades...  

Sun, 01/13/2013 - 11:57 | 3148751 joego1
joego1's picture

A government for the people went bye the people.

Sun, 01/13/2013 - 11:49 | 3148729 joego1
joego1's picture

Almost as good as bringing peace and security to a country that comprised of tribes of warring illiterate religious fascists that still wipe their asses with rocks.

Sun, 01/13/2013 - 11:43 | 3148711 Winston Churchill
Winston Churchill's picture

Vive Le Farce.

Sun, 01/13/2013 - 12:34 | 3148816 TBT or not TBT
TBT or not TBT's picture

"farce" is feminine, so that's Vive la Farce, but yeah, we are greatly amused at France, once again.   They fuck things up on a far smaller scale, and small things can be cute, so there's that.    Iraq and Afhanistan produced some great full scale war situations to consider, and to enjoy for return on our tax dollar, but cute they were not.

Sun, 01/13/2013 - 12:58 | 3148865 Winston Churchill
Winston Churchill's picture

Its the thought that counts.

Its been forty five years since I spoke French ,very badly.

Sun, 01/13/2013 - 13:04 | 3148879 TBT or not TBT
TBT or not TBT's picture

The real Winston Churchill passed quite a lot of time in France during his life, and if he made such a mistake he would have done so on purpose, in jest.   I knew Winston Churchill.   Winston Churchill was my friend.   You are no Winston Churchill!

Sun, 01/13/2013 - 15:43 | 3149175 tickhound
tickhound's picture

Bullshit!  I knew Churchill personally.  He lugged a trainload of shit behind him that could've fertilized the Sinai.  I wouldn't buy an apple from the son of a bitch, and I considered him a good, close personal friend.

Sun, 01/13/2013 - 15:52 | 3149199 Winston Churchill
Winston Churchill's picture

The pint of scotch on his cornflakes very morning didn't help much  either.

Terrible Eton French, if you read memoirs the French contempary politicos

they could barely understand him.

Sun, 01/13/2013 - 15:41 | 3149170 WmMcK
WmMcK's picture

That China is one of the world's powers? (reference too old or obscure?)

Sun, 01/13/2013 - 12:19 | 3148787 Winston of Oceania
Winston of Oceania's picture

Cinco de Mayo oh wait they lost that one with 3 to 1 ratio of superior numbers and far better equipment...

Sun, 01/13/2013 - 11:52 | 3148738 Kaiser Sousa
Kaiser Sousa's picture

fucking french tryin to emulate their imperialist american cousins...

they should stick to what they do best - NOTHING.......

Sun, 01/13/2013 - 11:55 | 3148745 Super Broccoli
Super Broccoli's picture

it's weird how americans can't stand another country messing around like they usualy are doing ;-)

Sun, 01/13/2013 - 12:37 | 3148822 TBT or not TBT
TBT or not TBT's picture

Seriously, you need to get out and eat more cheese.    

Also, France is a really nice piece of real estate, I mean California nice.   Top notch mountains, beaches, plains, coasts, weather.

Sun, 01/13/2013 - 15:05 | 3149111 Kaiser Sousa
Kaiser Sousa's picture

lived n france for 2 years with a lady i met here n the states...

streets littered with dog shit owners dont bother picking up...

french dudes still believe the myth about them being the ultimate lady killers...

beer cost $9....

fuck france man....they can keep their cheese and their attiudes.....



Sun, 01/13/2013 - 11:54 | 3148742 giggler123
giggler123's picture

It would have been better if the author had cited previous bad economic news just after the entries in that list of milirary escapades rather than saying expect it because some guys with guns did something.

Sun, 01/13/2013 - 11:55 | 3148743 Inthemix96
Inthemix96's picture

The French have the art of "Surrendere" down to a fine tee.

Dont worry folks, this will be over before tea-time the morrow.  And I have heard on the grapevine that the French have unvieled their new National Flag.  Its a white cross on a white background.

Merde bitchez......

Sun, 01/13/2013 - 11:59 | 3148753 tooriskytoinvest
tooriskytoinvest's picture

Mali Situation Updates: 200 more french soldiers arrived, Britain and US now involved, France tightens Security Level! Heavy bombing in GAO now!

Sun, 01/13/2013 - 12:53 | 3148853 TBT or not TBT
TBT or not TBT's picture

Well yeah, that's what leading from behind means.  As long as you didn't start the fight your cool getting into it a tad later as a non-instigating good guy.

Sun, 01/13/2013 - 12:01 | 3148757 ptoemmes
ptoemmes's picture

Diversion, no it's just a mirage...looks to be three of them in fact.

Sun, 01/13/2013 - 12:03 | 3148759 Global Hunter
Global Hunter's picture

it seems to me that the more wars that TPTB start, the more they have to start to keep the lid on things.  A slow burn towards global explosion, yea, thank you for looking after best interests and keeping us safe politicians and banksters.

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