Tyler Durden's picture

As we anxiously await the titanic announcement about to spew forth from Menlo Park, we thought a look at 2013's +20% performance was worthwhile. We would expect to hear a plethora of 'monetizing mobile' and a cajillion eyeballs must mean something. Will the Facebook phone replace the Obama-phone? Will being 'liked' provide external stimulus? Will they be merging with Dell (or Radioshack?) Feeling bullish? Be wary, implied vol is at its most expensivce to realized vol in 7 months... Rest assured, we will bring the critical headlines as they break...

  • *FACEBOOK ANNOUNCES GRAPH SEARCH                          :FB US

FB stumbling now -1.7%


Implied vol is very expensve to realizeds (i.e. people are 'hedged')...

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johnQpublic's picture

wheres the ZH story on the new NY gun ban?

lasvegaspersona's picture

A large part of the country is quietly waiting.

The Gooch's picture

I imagine the Tyler's are saving the "big guns" for tomorrow, when dear leader speaks of the national one.

The Juggernaut's picture

An alert to all you NYer's: Gov Cuomo's power is coming down on you by "infringing on your Second Amendment Rights." Call his ass to tell him you "dislike" his power grab: (518) 474-8390... def block that guy from your pics.


Contact: http://www.governor.ny.gov/contact/GovernorContactForm.php

Gov's violation of the 2nd: http://www.nydailynews.com/new-york/albany-gun-control-bill-expected-pas...

FEDbuster's picture

Rise up, or lay down your arms.  The choice is yours.  The masters have made their move, what are you slaves going to do?

kaiserhoff's picture

Looks like everything in NY is about to be "free for nothin' ".

Have gun, will travel.

FEDbuster's picture

These urban shitholes like NYC, Chicago, Detroit, Washington DC, etc... are like cancers on this Country.  Spreading their sickness to every other part of this land.  Fuck Bloomberg, Commo, Obama, Fienstein, Shummer, etc...  

Let's take Texas back, crown Ron Paul king and invite freedom lovers from around the world to come and join us.

pazmaker's picture

Ron Paul and Rand Paul don't believe in Kings..In fact it is exaclty what they oppose.

Titus Flavius Caesar Vespasianus Augustus's picture

Rand Paul is a sell out and a cunt and is swiftly becoming part of the problem.


FEDbuster's picture

Ok instead of king, he could be president for life.  I trust him to run the place.

BTW this just hit Drudge: 

Texas Proposal: JAIL Any Federal Officials Trying to Enforce New Gun Restrictions in the State http://radio.woai.com/cc-common/mainheadlines3.html?feed=119078&article=...
Raymond K Hessel's picture

President for life is a king.

Take a deep breath.  It's okay.  Ron Paul wouldn't take the crown.  He'd probably force a polite laugh, rub his chin, and then scowl disapprovingly at you.


But what you said about Texas?  I'm on board.  I moved here just in case it would happen and I hope it does.  

Fuck the USA!! God Bless Texas!!

Another Texan's picture

There will be no Kings in my Texas.  Friends of the Republic are welcome. 

Another Texan's picture

There will be no Kings in my Texas.  Friends of the Republic are welcome. 

Cathartes Aura's picture
Glenn Beck is building Galt's Gulch in Texas.

there ya go, you don't need Rand, you've got Glen.

there's always someone who wants to be your leader.

Agent P's picture

That sounds appealing...except for the fact that Glenn Beck would be there.

Cathartes Aura's picture

and his friends.

and their friends.

and an amusement park apparently.

what's not to love?


sounds a little too Celebration, Florida - Disney planned town, pure Truman Show Fantasyland, but maybe it's just me.

((because "going Galt" was always about hanging out with friends in a gated community??  *snorts*))

pbppbp's picture


Spoken like a redneck straight outta' Deliverance. Cue the banjos!

AlaricBalth's picture

Zuckerberg says "our mission is to make the world more open" and "if we give people tools" they'll be able to connect more.

Doesn't he mean to say, "If we give people enough rope, they will hang themselves with it." ?

Pegasus Muse's picture

more like "if we give people tools" they'll mindlessly share even more private personal info, enabling government/corporate snoops to "get all up in their bid'ness" more quickly and easily.

Zap Powerz's picture

How much longer until people realize that FaceBook is just a stupid fad pursued by stupid people that post stupid comments about stupid things?

Titus Flavius Caesar Vespasianus Augustus's picture

Well the stupid people are too stupid to realize much of anything but you need to score more than the other team to win a football game, and that it's fun to watch fatties struggle to lose weight while being yelled at by wankers on the teevee.


FEDbuster's picture

I like Zerohedge, because it's mostly anti-social media.

Another Texan's picture

Thoes fatties are funny.  Nothing like a stream of tears while walking on a treadmill.

tickhound's picture

But that's a selling point these days. 

Insight into a "tell" I'm following...

Wife of a friend has been calling this debt-binge/credit/housing/AAPL/FB fiasco from the start...

She works for red hat at @$110k... typical NOVA princess, Reston Town Center is freaking DISNEYLAND to these people.  She makes good money but she's broke... says things like, "um, that's LAST years Louis Vuitton purse" or "my friend's AWESOME he works for Deutche Bank."  Sold all her 'unwanted' gold in '08. 

She leases her Benz E-class and does dumb princess shit like call the dealer and schedule an appt cuz the "tire looked low."  She has two nice sized bank-owned breasts.  Artificial insemination PROCESSES starting 2 years ago, all on leverage... buku bucks, baby due in Feb. 

In 2006 she bought a condo.  She now rents it at a $680 monthly LOSS... hanging on to it ALONG WITH the 2-bdrm beach house she bought the same year... insisting that "housing will come back."

Last year, and OUT OF NOWHERE, she told her husband they should buy the FB IPO... cuz all her friends "said."  Two of these women bought homes in '06.  

These chicks are BIGTIME trendy.  So it's PEAK freaking anything if they like it.  Hers is the group that provides the TOP TICK.

So she's made another "call" recently.. actually two.  1) She's "kinda getting sick of facebook"  2) After years of igadgets, she just bought a SAMSUNG GALAXY     


Cathartes Aura's picture

you should post this on yer FB account, let the truth out & the fur fly!!

rather than do it behind your friend's back, lol. . .

tickhound's picture

But its a great case study and you don't wanna ruin that.  Her patterns of behavior should be left undisturbed.  They should be observed, and when appropriate, faded.  You can't wake someone like this up.  These are fanatics. 

You can learn from them too though.  Like this... I was unaware that many Louis Vuitton bags have good 'resale' value.  It was certainly better than I thought.  So to her, buying gold is like buying a purse.


Bohm Squad's picture

Darn right about the bags...I've learned from Mrs. Bohm that every $2.00 Coach yard sale bag is worth 1 to 2 ounces of silver on ebay...I call it buying silver at discount.


Harley stuff gets a lot of silver, too.

Cathartes Aura's picture

ahhh, well then, if she is useful to you, then that's all that matters!

I'm sure she's of use for her partner, your friend, as well.

everyone has a purpose. . .

Intoxicologist's picture

What a mind-numbingly pathetic existence.  I'll take being a hayseed any day of the week.

Curiously_Crazy's picture

I've a facebook account so that I can post articles like those presented on ZH and many others that will then get an audience they otherwise wouldn't.

The 'friends' on my page have been reduced so dramatically after what I've been posting over the years that I can assure you all the stupid people that only post stupid comments about stupid things are long gone. If only a handful wake up then I figure it's better than nothing so I stick with it.


johngaltfla's picture

Psst...Zuckerfuck...the tools that make the world more open has already been invented by Algore.


It's called the "internet" dumbfuck.

Xibalba's picture

there was a gun ban in NY???  something tells me they didn't get the memo in Bushwick.

johnQpublic's picture

it passed the NY senate and the debate is running live right now

The Gooch's picture

OT: Just caught a little c-span at lunch.

Supreme court discussing the merits of warrantless BLOOD SAMPLES being taken by COPS during traffic stops (D.U.I.)



ebworthen's picture

The Supine Kangaroo Court will come up with some obtuse form of equivocatory reasoning to decide that puncturing your vein with a needle and taking your blood against your will is not invasive, degrading, and demeaning nor a violation of the Fourth Amendment (unreasonable search and seizure).

The Gooch's picture


Also, dear leader will have a poduim "full of children who wrote him letters about gun-control" tomorrow.




ebworthen's picture

Hitler Youth for the 21st century; nauseating, but you are right - he will.

MachoMan's picture

You realize that blood has been taken from DUI suspects for decades, right?  There are numerous methods of search that have been declared to fall outside of the need to have a warrant (e.g. plain sight, hot pursuit of a felon, exigent circumstances, etc.).  This one was settled a long time ago.

Further, there is nothing forcing you to submit to testing.  States offer suspects two options: (1) submit to testing and if you pass, then you're free to go...  if you don't, then you're going to the pokey; or (2) refuse and commit the crime of refusal (justified under the auspices of submission to the State's jurisdiction when you obtain your State license)...  and the crime of refusal is sometimes worse than actually failing a DUI/DWI test.

You are always free to refuse the tests...  and this is what EVERYONE used to do until the States closed the loophole.  Think about it, if the police are prohibited from determining your BAC, then how could you ever be convicted of driving while intoxicated?  [as an aside, an officer's testimony alone is probably enough for a conviction, but testing provides a more objective means of determining innocence].  Needless to say, every lawyer advised his clients to NEVER submit to any testing and would then go argue that the state never met its burden of proof...  after enough of those cases fell through, States closed the loophole... 


secret_sam's picture

Just drive without a license and they can't threaten revocation.

The Gooch's picture

Or move to Illinois (if you're an illegal alien) and get a drivers license(?)!


MachoMan's picture

True, but this is mandatory jail time in my state so...  might think twice about it.

Titus Flavius Caesar Vespasianus Augustus's picture

The 4th amendment has been bleeding to death for a long time.


At first they punish you for not submitting, then they just force you to submit.

At first they imprison you without trial on suspicion of being a 'terrorist' - then they just kill you with a drone strike.

We had exactly one presidential candidate that seemed to give a fuck about the Bill of Rights, and he was smeared as an extremist who wanted to help Iran nuke all of Israel's children.  So fuck this country - it's getting what it deserves for submitting to the 2 party dictatorship, and for voting a guy in for a second term who had broken just about every promise he made as a candidate - a guy installed into power by a cabal of rich Chicago crooks.

Our best hope may be to experiment with spiders and hope that we can create a race of "Spidermen" who can resist those who would have the world under a central government using 1 world currency issued by a private central bank.




MachoMan's picture

I don't think there's any chance of forced blood tests becoming common and mandatory...  Think of it like this, if he does nothing, then the police officer can charge you with refusal (really, really easy for the prosecutor to prove) that carries a stiffer penalty than a DWI...  or, if he wants to give you a blood test, he has to do unnecessary additional work, wait around to be able to do it, call for warrants, etc...

this will fix itself... 

CH1's picture

this will fix itself...

Government will fix itself... and the precedence for that over the past generation is....?



MachoMan's picture

Apples to oranges...  I'm arguing that you can bank on civil servants doing the minimal possible to get their job done...  I think there's a pretty damn good precedent with this one...

[you're overreaching]

The Gooch's picture

By COPS. Not doctors or nurses. COPS.


MachoMan's picture

Can you please articulate the practical difference?  If your medical records are immediately disclosed to the police (i.e. the results of your blood test), then what does it matter?

Aside from the fact that the SCOTUS is going to make the right decision and shoot it down...

Zap Powerz's picture


Clearly you dont understand the nuances of the Constitution.  The power the government has to take your DNA without your knowledge is authorized under the Commerce Clause.

ebworthen's picture

You've hit it, yes, that will be the obtuse reason; probably use the Insterstate Commerce clause to take my Gold and Silver too - when I cross state lines to have my boating accident.