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Farcebook
As we anxiously await the titanic announcement about to spew forth from Menlo Park, we thought a look at 2013's +20% performance was worthwhile. We would expect to hear a plethora of 'monetizing mobile' and a cajillion eyeballs must mean something. Will the Facebook phone replace the Obama-phone? Will being 'liked' provide external stimulus? Will they be merging with Dell (or Radioshack?) Feeling bullish? Be wary, implied vol is at its most expensivce to realized vol in 7 months... Rest assured, we will bring the critical headlines as they break...
- *FACEBOOK SAYS IT'S A PRODUCT ANNOUNCEMENT :FB US
- *FACEBOOK ANNOUNCES GRAPH SEARCH :FB US
FB stumbling now -1.7%
Implied vol is very expensve to realizeds (i.e. people are 'hedged')...
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I was told last week(1/7/2013) that discussing the stealth pump up of FB stock was a "senseless waste of time" here @ ZH when I asked when the next dump was scheduled...FB was @ 28.71/share at the time.
The new feature is called Graph Search and is a social search tool, not a global web search engine like Google, that will allow users to search Facebook's social graph. However, users can only search content that has already been shared with them.
"You can only search content that has been shared with you," Zuckerberg said.
Maybe I'm losin it in old age but if the above description is what the NEW or improved FB is about Im sorry but I'm pre alzheimers. What the FUCK does that mean? Graph Search? Good luck Mark but I do not want to share search content that has been shared with me. Whatever the hell that means.
It means, taken from Fuckerberg's presentation, that you can search all shared information from your connected friends.
You can search, "Friends in San Francisco" and find out how many of your friends live there. You might find out that one of you old friends just moved to the city. Or restaurants friends like in San Francisco, and find some new places you might like.
Hmm, wait my friend just moved to where he knew I lived and didn't tell me. What an asshole, time to de-friend that guy. Wait also, what the fuck, all my friends go to Fire Bar every friday night and they don't invite me. Some friends they are.
Seriously, this is useful how?
Anybody else get the feeling Fuckerberg actually doesn't have any friends? Or ever had any to begin with. Kind of sad in a way. The guy is a multi billionaire and had to sign a contract with his wife, that he must make himself available at her beckon call.
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lol, well, "social networking" isn't always about "I <3 my friends!!" - if it's gonna be successful, there will be drama, and infighting, and many late night drunken rants, etc.
which is working as intended, IMHO - keeps people busy, occupied, feeling important (bullies in particular), and distracted.
I was in the beta test group on Graph Search and I can tell you that it works fabulously and Facebook stock should skyrocket on this news.
As a test, I did a search for "Girls I've nailed who want to pay me to be part of a three-way (FMF)" and I got back six results from my friends' network.
Unfortunately, none of the chicks I went to high school with remember doing it with me, and told me (rather harsly, IMO) that a three-way was definitely out of the question.
But, Graph Search really works, seriously. Facebook is so cool. I'm gonna go update my profile again! LOL!
The problem with Fuckerberg is that he has never had a real job. Every Farcebook chat looks like a shitty college project presentation, complete with garbage power point slides.
It wasn't until I got in the real business world that I realized every college presentation we made was absolute shit.
Fuckerberg actually thinks people are listensing and hanging on every word. He doesn't realize everyone is laughing at this little shit wearing a hoodie that somehow got picked to help Goldman Sachs make a couple billion dollars.
If Fuckerberg is a genius, that retarded kid down the street from me has probably built a cold fusion reactor in his mom's basement.
Thanks ADR for the explanation. Makes me happy I unfriended the whole FUCKBOOK thing.
If Fuckerberg is a genius...
Sales and marketing are the business disciplines devoted to bullshit. You can be a "genius" (of a kind) at bullshit, and it can be very good for your career.
Look at Steve Jobs, Steve Wynn, Donald Trump, Don King, etc etc etc.
If you're gifted enough at bullshit and also a greedy fucker, you too can get rich with no other talents or virtues.
If that's not "genius," what is?
yawn
fb:
I'll show you mine, then you show me yours. How long did that work for you?
So, they basically just proudly announced we can use a few new SQL queries?
<crickets>
Guess who wants to kill the internet?
Before I signed on to Facebook, I remembered my former girlfriends as young, pretty, thin and healthy. Thanks FB for destroying my memories!
It doesn't take long either. I remember a very young cutie from HS: Pale skin, 100lbs at the most, pretty little redhead, gothic artist type, and a superfreak in the sack.
When I checked her profile and found "her" (she had somewhat common first and last names both) she had literally doubled her weight and had a fat pock-marked face and ruined her body with what looked like fake tanning lotion and couldn't have been more than 23-24 at the time, not even a decade.
The Memories will still be good, like running out the back door from her 6'0" muscled father who spent more time trucking across the region then he did at home (no wonder she had so many issues). Never did get to meet the guy.
So, this is the kind of idea that makes one a billionaire.
I've been thinking too much.