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Tyler Durden's picture


We realize the subject matter is about as tangential to the core themes discussed here as possible, but since hypocrisy of this magnitude has to be seen to be believed, and traditionally was only possible when emanating from the Federal Reserve (did we say tangential?) we present: Liestrong... in his own words.


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Tue, 01/15/2013 - 16:42 | 3155237 adr
adr's picture

And then we can make the wear the mark, so we all know who they are. We can easily round them up later.... oh wait.

Yeah, then we can make them wear the mark so we all know who they are.

Tue, 01/15/2013 - 16:13 | 3155075 NoDebt
NoDebt's picture

Um, hmmmm..... Pete Rose is looking pretty squeaky-clean by comparison at this point, isn't he? 


Tue, 01/15/2013 - 16:18 | 3155109 blu
blu's picture

Certainly no worse than any banker or congresspuke placing insider trades on the side.

Tue, 01/15/2013 - 16:20 | 3155119 Yes We Can. But...
Yes We Can. But Lets Not.'s picture

Pete, through stupidity, got into gambling and threw his money away.

Gubmints, through greed, are now into gambling and take money from the poor.

Tue, 01/15/2013 - 16:15 | 3155094 RacerX
RacerX's picture

sounds familiar: "I did not have sexual relations.. with that woman"

generation of lying sell-outs.

Tue, 01/15/2013 - 16:17 | 3155101 Jason T
Jason T's picture

Man is weak ... there is no hero.. man is fallen and that's that.

Tue, 01/15/2013 - 16:17 | 3155102 A Lunatic
A Lunatic's picture

Poor Lance; he just didn't have the right contacts to bury his lies in the rubble of a bombed aspirin factory........

Tue, 01/15/2013 - 16:19 | 3155116 Tsunami Wave
Tsunami Wave's picture

Now if only Lance was a former Goldmanite or knew Eric Holder....... then things might have ended differently.

Tue, 01/15/2013 - 16:22 | 3155126 docmac324
docmac324's picture

He should be a banker.

Tue, 01/15/2013 - 16:22 | 3155127 Titus Flavius C...
Titus Flavius Caesar Vespasianus Augustus's picture

Nice photo on the main page

did anybody already make a "2 girls 1 ball" reference?  Is ole Titus too late?



Tue, 01/15/2013 - 16:23 | 3155133 buzzsaw99
buzzsaw99's picture

His performance in Dodgeball comes off as so weak and judgemental in light of this.

Tue, 01/15/2013 - 16:25 | 3155142 Hacksaw
Hacksaw's picture

I don't cheat, commit fraud, or steal folks money. I'm a maker, those low life takers are the problem. I get paid the big bucks because I work harder than anyone else.

Lance sounds a lot like the Wall street crowd.

Tue, 01/15/2013 - 16:26 | 3155149 hannah
hannah's picture

all sports figures dope so they are ALL EQUAL. who cares if they dope? every football player is maxed out on roids. look at their old pictures. most have gained 50lbs of pure muscle. doing that without roids is pretty much impossible....


legalize doping and let rollerball begin.

Tue, 01/15/2013 - 16:52 | 3155303 adr
adr's picture

There are quite a few baseball players and hockey players that aren't on anything. My dad worked in baseball for 40 years and he knew pretty much every guy that was clean and every guy that was dirty.

There are guys that are perfectly happy making the league minimum for 20 years instead of doping for a big five year contract and then blowing out a knee.

All these sports stars have been and will completely fall apart in their late 40s and 50s. Most will just drop dead. The amazing advances in medical technology and surgery have kept some of these guys, like A-Rod, in the game far longer than they ever thought possible.

It really isn't anything I would want to go through. The years of roids cause the muscle tissue to detach from your bones, the tendons pretty much dissolve. But hey, you PLAYED BALL, beats working right?

Tue, 01/15/2013 - 16:27 | 3155152 walcott
walcott's picture


He did win 7 tours. They all do the same thing he did.

Like NFL they're all on roids and college too.

MLB NBA same thing.

He's missing that endorsement money.

Tue, 01/15/2013 - 16:27 | 3155155 NeedleDickTheBu...
NeedleDickTheBugFucker's picture

For Lance, lying and dishonesty is simply an autonomic function, just like breathing.

Tue, 01/15/2013 - 16:30 | 3155165 FubarNation
FubarNation's picture

Tiger had more fun.

Tue, 01/15/2013 - 16:33 | 3155186 DrunkenPleb
DrunkenPleb's picture

Fucking cheater. I'll bet he even used drugs to beat cancer.

Tue, 01/15/2013 - 16:34 | 3155188 comrade rally monkey
comrade rally monkey's picture

I'm perfectly confident that it was the EPO that allowed Lance to ride again after that young tygart(kid with bagguete sack) tried to snuff his chances in the '03 tour stage to luz ardiden.

  And again , it was doping that allowed LA to ride thru a field after beloki rolled his tire in the same tour.

 the doping maybe attributed a 5% advantage, maybe. If you were to believe lemond, any donkey could be a superstar with doping....and yet...a vast majority of the peloton was doping. go figure that out.

 Before you cast stones on his doping, go ride the miles he did before he ever knew what doping was. that's easily 100,000 miles on a bike. prior to doping. do it, then you can critique.

Tue, 01/15/2013 - 16:53 | 3155294 CoolBeans
CoolBeans's picture

I think I understand your position and he did work hard at trying to be the best -- but the fact remains that he cheated.

Whether it is your stated 5% advantage - he still cheated. If you only steal 5% of a client's assets, the investment manager still stole.

I haven't cast any stones because it hasn't been worth debating - it is what is and he's human...they are prone to error. Oh and I didn't even down arrow ya.

Wed, 01/16/2013 - 00:41 | 3156699 A Nanny Moose
A Nanny Moose's picture

Is it really cheating if everyone is doing it? Who is the victim?

Tue, 01/15/2013 - 17:02 | 3155366 adr
adr's picture

5% on 300 feet is 15'. You know what adding 15 ft to a ball hit 290 ft is?

The difference between being a chump and a hero. You know what a guy that can only hit 290ft and uses roids to get the extra 15 is? A fraud.

It doesn't matter if the guy practiced every single day and was already better than most people at the sport. In the end he wasn't good enough without the added boost. He needed to become a fraud to win.

If everyone else juiced, fine. The entire sport is a fraud and every single athlete should be banned from competition for life. There are millions of people that would still compete, that would be just as entertaining to watch. People who were forced to quit something they loved because they wouldn't cheat, and were passed up by dopers.

Or is cheating to win perfectly acceptable? Well robbing a bank should be acceptable as well. As long as you didn't hurt anyone. You cheated to get rich, what's wrong with that? So did Lance Armstrong.

Tue, 01/15/2013 - 18:27 | 3155688 hannah
hannah's picture

why is doping 'cheating'....western athletes get to grow up eating healthy foods will poor countries athletes eat that cheating. western countries spend more on that fair....what is fair?

Tue, 01/15/2013 - 16:37 | 3155202 walcott
walcott's picture

He never ate asphalt like Manny Paquiao ate a right hand.

jump tp 1:17 video below 


Manny Pacquiao getting knocked out by Juan Manuel Marquez

Tue, 01/15/2013 - 16:37 | 3155214 haskelslocal
haskelslocal's picture

The best take away from this?

We get to see what a person actually looks like from begining to end through a bold-face lie.

Multiple performances through the looking glass lens where he KNOWS it's going to be in the public domain.

Day after day society is asked to give the benefit of dobut for guys like him.

There's always innocence until proven.

There's always the slightest chance it's not real.  

The bankers, the rulers, the senators and the like continue to use this packaged trick against us day after day.

We call it the "Corzine Effect".

So now the PTB have used up all the hero athletes. There's nobody left but themselves. And if we're lucky, we can trust that we'll start seeing the lying faces of some of these dispacables in short order.



Tue, 01/15/2013 - 16:40 | 3155232 I am a Man I am...
I am a Man I am Forty's picture

Anyone with a brain knew he was doping when they found out he was working with Dr. Ferrari.  You know, ditching his American coach two weeks before a race and going and working with an Italian Dr. known for doping cyclists.  LeMond knew what was up.

Tue, 01/15/2013 - 16:46 | 3155260 SmoothCoolSmoke
SmoothCoolSmoke's picture

Just curious.  What is the prize $ for the Tour, and did he have to give it back x7?

Tue, 01/15/2013 - 16:46 | 3155261 CoolBeans
CoolBeans's picture

Always be alert to someone who shakes their head "no" when saying words like "credibility".

Notice his head bobs "yes" while saying he never took the drugs.

Ya know...what an attention whore -- you got a huge bankroll, just slither away. Although if you're looking for work - you'd fit right in at certain brokerage firms.

Tue, 01/15/2013 - 18:31 | 3155700 YellowBrickSWE
YellowBrickSWE's picture

I am always on alert when a high profile jew says something, yes I know, I am prejudies ;)

Tue, 01/15/2013 - 16:47 | 3155262 Volaille de Bresse
Volaille de Bresse's picture

"Iraq has weapons of mass-destruction"


George Dimwit Bush Jr

Tue, 01/15/2013 - 16:47 | 3155268 magnumpk
magnumpk's picture

Finally, I won't have to endure the "He Never Failed a Drug Test" bozos anymore.

Tue, 01/15/2013 - 16:52 | 3155298 hooligan2009
hooligan2009's picture

lets have an election, up and down arrows please!

                          Armstrong for Prez!

                          Fuck you Armstrong!

Tue, 01/15/2013 - 16:54 | 3155315 ebworthen
ebworthen's picture

When every cyclist from every country in the Tour De France was doping and he didn't get caught why the witch hunt?

Why do a Mea Culpa when they didn't catch him?

How sick are we that atheletes dope, and that we freeze their urine for future tests, and go into histrionics over all this?


Sure, doping and cheating and lying are wrong.  If you can't catch them with the extant tests develop new tests and go from there until they can't game the system.

We are crucifying Armstrong while Jon Corzine goes free.

We are up in arms about an athelete when the FED and Washington and Wall Street are lying, cheating, AND stealing from every citizen in the nation.

I suppose Armstrong and Celente and Dancing with the Stars are useful distractions, eh?

And now Armstrong admits it with Oprah!?!?

What a bunch of crazy monkeys we are!!!

Tue, 01/15/2013 - 16:55 | 3155320 SmoothCoolSmoke
SmoothCoolSmoke's picture

This is what happens to people and societies (read: USA) where winning becomes EVERYTHING.

Tue, 01/15/2013 - 16:57 | 3155339 100pcDredge
100pcDredge's picture

I need some Liecor 43... I guess.

Tue, 01/15/2013 - 16:59 | 3155343 European American
European American's picture


Tue, 01/15/2013 - 17:00 | 3155356 CoolBeans
CoolBeans's picture

Why is it in athletics, politics, financial industry, etc., there is an astounding lack of shame and humility these days?

There was a day when such a scandal wouldn't result in a book deal, a reality show, etc., etc.

I miss those days.

Tue, 01/15/2013 - 17:37 | 3155528 falak pema
falak pema's picture

money n power = glory and hubris. 

Tue, 01/15/2013 - 17:03 | 3155368 Benjamin Glutton
Benjamin Glutton's picture

Texas dope peddler determined to re-monetize err rehypothecate err rehab his cash flow I mean image/ego.



Tue, 01/15/2013 - 17:03 | 3155373 The Proletariat
The Proletariat's picture

All drugs should be legal...

Tue, 01/15/2013 - 23:59 | 3155399 haskelslocal
haskelslocal's picture


Tue, 01/15/2013 - 17:14 | 3155407 drivenZ
drivenZ's picture

All I want to know is when the government is going to be repaid for the time it wasted trying to prosecute a pro athlete for things no one cares about? unbelievable waste of gov't money and time. Let USADA deal with it and keep the Gov't out of sports. 

Tue, 01/15/2013 - 17:13 | 3155416 jwoop66
jwoop66's picture

After 10 or 15 years of perpetuating the lie, don't come out now.  Shoulda came clean years ago.  If not, bring it to the grave. NOt friggin oprah!  You fuckin loser!  A 21st century hero.

I knew there was something I never liked about this piece of shit.

Tue, 01/15/2013 - 17:13 | 3155420 Canadian Dirtlump
Canadian Dirtlump's picture

If I had an american silver eagle every time over the years a zealous livestrong bracelet wearing mongoloid excoriated me for guaranteeing that the one balled man doped, I'd have a throne made of monster boxes.

Tue, 01/15/2013 - 17:14 | 3155425 TheLooza
TheLooza's picture

"Oh you mean steroids? I just didn't know what you meant.  Yeah, of course, I did that shit."

Tue, 01/15/2013 - 17:29 | 3155500 Peter Pan
Peter Pan's picture

I don't know what they will do to Armstrong but can someone remind me what they did to Clinton? He seems to have done alright after the great lie was revealed.

Tue, 01/15/2013 - 17:29 | 3155502 Seorse Gorog fr...
Seorse Gorog from that Quantum Entanglement Fund. alright_.-'s picture

'It's Not About The Bike'

Tue, 01/15/2013 - 17:30 | 3155508 Zgangsta
Zgangsta's picture

It was all for the greater good!  You people needed a hero you could believe in!

Tue, 01/15/2013 - 17:33 | 3155511 Peter Pan
Peter Pan's picture

I think the rule for sportsmen, politicians and bankers should be "guilty until proven guilty."

Tue, 01/15/2013 - 17:44 | 3155545 Seasmoke
Seasmoke's picture

it all started downhill fast with, I DID NOT HAVE SEXUAL RELATIONS WITH THAT WOMAN

Tue, 01/15/2013 - 17:43 | 3155550 Overfed
Overfed's picture

Is Viagra considered a performance-enhancing drug? Is it cheating to use it even if you're not actually impotent?

Tue, 01/15/2013 - 17:51 | 3155562 walcott
walcott's picture

They took him down like they took Phil Falcone down.

Like they took Chik fil A down. Like they're taking Hobby Lobby down now.

Big money invites rackets. 

Tue, 01/15/2013 - 17:50 | 3155571 Gtinkham
Gtinkham's picture

Does everyone not know that steroids are in all professional sports?

Tue, 01/15/2013 - 17:52 | 3155576 walcott
walcott's picture

Sure Oprah is on all kinds of hormonal crap too. 


Tue, 01/15/2013 - 17:55 | 3155587 walcott
walcott's picture

Interviewing athletes about steroids is like interviewing porn stars about viagara.

Tue, 01/15/2013 - 18:08 | 3155626 John Law Lives
John Law Lives's picture

The Great Chairsatan and Dunce Dopestrong are two peas in a pod.

Lie, lie, lie, and deny, deny, deny.


Tue, 01/15/2013 - 18:17 | 3155659 mt paul
mt paul's picture


bycycle racer

Tue, 01/15/2013 - 18:20 | 3155666 theprofromdover
theprofromdover's picture

Lance just sees himself as a businessman; his manager and agent see him as a product.

None of them see ethics and morality as having any dimension in their world.

Even now, exposed and disgraced, he is being told this is a business and marketing opportunity.

Redemption. Go on screen and tell them what they want to hear (the marketing guys that is).


Lance, you hope to see yourself as a modern american success story, but you are nothing. You have to be swept away with all the other corrupt liars. You can't even look yourself in the mirror. Stay off my TV screen.

Tue, 01/15/2013 - 18:23 | 3155677 Budd aka Sidewinder
Budd aka Sidewinder's picture

It took ball for him to go on Oprah and confess

Tue, 01/15/2013 - 18:30 | 3155696 Walt D.
Walt D.'s picture

Lance Armstrong - time to run for Congress


Tue, 01/15/2013 - 23:41 | 3156570 Money Squid
Money Squid's picture

Lance is strong lier, I think he is better suited for the Senate.

Tue, 01/15/2013 - 18:30 | 3155697 GrinandBearit
GrinandBearit's picture

I'll bet you 2 cents that Lance never had cancer either.   Lance was the cancer money machine spokesman.

Tue, 01/15/2013 - 18:45 | 3155751 exartizo
exartizo's picture



Lance Oh Lance!

What can you say?

Why did you Dope

Then Lie All Day?


You Lied

You Lied

You Lied

Dear Lance

Exactly why give you

Another chance?


You made money

Like hay all day

You’ll never have to work

To pay your way

You’re a Lying Piece Of Shit

Dear Lance

Exactly why give you

Another chance?


Your fans

Your friends

Your bimbos too

All thought doping

Was something

You’d never do

But you’re a Lying Piece Of Shit

Dear Lance

Exactly why give you

Another Chance?


The poor folks at your

Foundation cried

When they found out

That you’d lied

The ones that

You hired to make you

Look Clean

Look Up

Look Down

But can’t be seen


Your cycles used to

Go round and round

Your loyalty bought

Your idiocy found

You sold it all

To look so good

Say it aint true

Say you never would


So “what are you on?”

You  Stupid Shit?

Tell Oprah

And cry a little bit

It’s not your bike

We all know now

Your act’s all Done

So Take a Bow.


You Lied

You Lied

You Lied

Dear Lance

Exactly why give you

Another chance?



Tue, 01/15/2013 - 19:24 | 3155860 Buzz Hacksaw
Buzz Hacksaw's picture

Re. Stadler

Agreed. There is the ODD exception.

Tue, 01/15/2013 - 19:23 | 3155862 are we there yet
are we there yet's picture

Sadly the second place winners can not take the award because of their doping. Tour de France is searching for who could receive his awards that were stripped from him going back 7 yerars.

Tue, 01/15/2013 - 20:22 | 3155881 NuYawkFrankie
NuYawkFrankie's picture

Why keep re-CYCLING the Armstrong story?

It's not as if it's BRAKING news... maybe best to just LANCE this boil...


Anyway (seeing as it's a topic), I WHEELY thought he seemed PUMPED-UP and the way he SPOKE, without trying to STRONG-ARM, was a TOUR DE Force - although, and this is where the RUBBER MEETS THE ROAD,  he still has a MOUNTAIN TO CLIMB with no BACK-PEDALLING if he wants to get back in the SADDLE....

Tue, 01/15/2013 - 19:35 | 3155906 Fix It Again Timmy
Fix It Again Timmy's picture

After going over many hills, Lance is finally over the hill, let him go...

Tue, 01/15/2013 - 20:01 | 3155981 uncle_vito
uncle_vito's picture

The only honorable thing for this moron to do is kill himself.   Preferably on Oprah.

Tue, 01/15/2013 - 21:25 | 3156194 Cosimo de Medici
Cosimo de Medici's picture

Waddell & Reed, you're finally off the hook for the flash crash.  We've got ourselves a new Most Dangerous Man on the Face of the Earth.

Wed, 01/16/2013 - 01:46 | 3156807 Widowmaker
Widowmaker's picture

Lies to get laid.

Here comes "Second-chance Lance" merchandise.  

Maybe he will start a foundation for fuckups -- Carmen Ortiz could be the second member.

Wed, 01/16/2013 - 03:20 | 3156892 Joe A
Joe A's picture

Americans were rejoycing so much when he won Tour de France after Tour de France, beating the French on their home soil. Well, it has all been one big fraud. Not that other cyclist are any better. All the Tours de France that he won should be given to number last of the respective years. That person is probably one of the few that was clean.

As for Armstrong, when this all calms down and after doing some mea culpa he can alwasy work as a Wallstreet banker.

Wed, 01/16/2013 - 13:34 | 3158264 dadichris
dadichris's picture

I think the teams pay the trainers big bucks to make sure athletes do not get caught using PEDs - and they ALL do.  So the teams and trainers are as much to blame.

Wed, 01/16/2013 - 13:42 | 3158332 Random_Robert
Random_Robert's picture

Hitler finds out Lance Armstrong was doping:

Do NOT follow this link or you will be banned from the site!