Liestrong

Tyler Durden's picture

We realize the subject matter is about as tangential to the core themes discussed here as possible, but since hypocrisy of this magnitude has to be seen to be believed, and traditionally was only possible when emanating from the Federal Reserve (did we say tangential?) we present: Liestrong... in his own words.

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Overfed's picture

Is Viagra considered a performance-enhancing drug? Is it cheating to use it even if you're not actually impotent?

walcott's picture

They took him down like they took Phil Falcone down.

Like they took Chik fil A down. Like they're taking Hobby Lobby down now.

Big money invites rackets. 

Gtinkham's picture

Does everyone not know that steroids are in all professional sports?

walcott's picture

Sure Oprah is on all kinds of hormonal crap too. 

 

walcott's picture

Interviewing athletes about steroids is like interviewing porn stars about viagara.

John Law Lives's picture

The Great Chairsatan and Dunce Dopestrong are two peas in a pod.

Lie, lie, lie, and deny, deny, deny.

FUBAR.

mt paul's picture

rehypothicated 

bycycle racer

theprofromdover's picture

Lance just sees himself as a businessman; his manager and agent see him as a product.

None of them see ethics and morality as having any dimension in their world.

Even now, exposed and disgraced, he is being told this is a business and marketing opportunity.

Redemption. Go on screen and tell them what they want to hear (the marketing guys that is).

 

Lance, you hope to see yourself as a modern american success story, but you are nothing. You have to be swept away with all the other corrupt liars. You can't even look yourself in the mirror. Stay off my TV screen.

Budd aka Sidewinder's picture

It took ball for him to go on Oprah and confess

Walt D.'s picture

Lance Armstrong - time to run for Congress

 

Money Squid's picture

Lance is strong lier, I think he is better suited for the Senate.

GrinandBearit's picture

I'll bet you 2 cents that Lance never had cancer either.   Lance was the cancer money machine spokesman.

exartizo's picture

DEAR LANCE

 

Lance Oh Lance!

What can you say?

Why did you Dope

Then Lie All Day?

 

You Lied

You Lied

You Lied

Dear Lance

Exactly why give you

Another chance?

 

You made money

Like hay all day

You’ll never have to work

To pay your way

You’re a Lying Piece Of Shit

Dear Lance

Exactly why give you

Another chance?

 

Your fans

Your friends

Your bimbos too

All thought doping

Was something

You’d never do

But you’re a Lying Piece Of Shit

Dear Lance

Exactly why give you

Another Chance?

 

The poor folks at your

Foundation cried

When they found out

That you’d lied

The ones that

You hired to make you

Look Clean

Look Up

Look Down

But can’t be seen

 

Your cycles used to

Go round and round

Your loyalty bought

Your idiocy found

You sold it all

To look so good

Say it aint true

Say you never would

 

So “what are you on?”

You  Stupid Shit?

Tell Oprah

And cry a little bit

It’s not your bike

We all know now

Your act’s all Done

So Take a Bow.

 

You Lied

You Lied

You Lied

Dear Lance

Exactly why give you

Another chance?

 

 

Buzz Hacksaw's picture

Re. Stadler

Agreed. There is the ODD exception.

are we there yet's picture

Sadly the second place winners can not take the award because of their doping. Tour de France is searching for who could receive his awards that were stripped from him going back 7 yerars.

NuYawkFrankie's picture

Why keep re-CYCLING the Armstrong story?

It's not as if it's BRAKING news... maybe best to just LANCE this boil...

 

Anyway (seeing as it's a topic), I WHEELY thought he seemed PUMPED-UP and the way he SPOKE, without trying to STRONG-ARM, was a TOUR DE Force - although, and this is where the RUBBER MEETS THE ROAD,  he still has a MOUNTAIN TO CLIMB with no BACK-PEDALLING if he wants to get back in the SADDLE....

Fix It Again Timmy's picture

After going over many hills, Lance is finally over the hill, let him go...

uncle_vito's picture

The only honorable thing for this moron to do is kill himself.   Preferably on Oprah.

Cosimo de Medici's picture

Waddell & Reed, you're finally off the hook for the flash crash.  We've got ourselves a new Most Dangerous Man on the Face of the Earth.

Widowmaker's picture

Lies to get laid.

Here comes "Second-chance Lance" merchandise.  

Maybe he will start a foundation for fuckups -- Carmen Ortiz could be the second member.

Joe A's picture

Americans were rejoycing so much when he won Tour de France after Tour de France, beating the French on their home soil. Well, it has all been one big fraud. Not that other cyclist are any better. All the Tours de France that he won should be given to number last of the respective years. That person is probably one of the few that was clean.

As for Armstrong, when this all calms down and after doing some mea culpa he can alwasy work as a Wallstreet banker.

dadichris's picture

I think the teams pay the trainers big bucks to make sure athletes do not get caught using PEDs - and they ALL do.  So the teams and trainers are as much to blame.

Random_Robert's picture

Hitler finds out Lance Armstrong was doping:

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3Y5OwTizq7o