The Dream Is Over As FAA Grounds Nightmareliner

Tyler Durden's picture

The pain for Boeing never stops. Just out from Reuters:

  • U.S. FAA says requiring airlines to temporarily stop flying Boeing's 787 Dreamliner. #BREAKING
  • FAA: Battery failures on Boeing 787s could damage critical systems and structures, spark fire, if not corrected
  • FAA: Will work with Boeing, airlines to develop corrective action plan to resume 787 operations as "quickly and safely as possible"
  • FAA: Decision to ground Boeing 787s prompted by second incident involving lithium ion battery failure
  • FAA: Will also examine Boeing 787 batteries as part of comprehensive review announced last week

So, will Transportation Secretary Ray LaHood (i.e., the US government) perhaps reassess his conclusion from last week that the Dreamliner is "safe" or perhaps this too is just more teething problems... Or merely an ultra aggressive case of industrial sabotage from EADS? In other news, perhaps it is time to find a more appropriate name for the Dreamliner?

Finally we are surprised how nobody has figured out this simple and brilliant solution yet: put Solyndra solar panels on all Dreamliners and call it a day.

For those interest, here is more from Reuters:

The Federal Aviation Administration said on Wednesday it would temporarily ground Boeing Co's 787s after a second incident involving battery failures caused one of the Dreamliner passenger jets to make an emergency landing in Japan.


The FAA said airlines would have to demonstrate that the lithium ion batteries involved were safe before they could resume flying Boeing's newest commercial airliner, but gave no details on when that could occur.


Boeing could not be immediately reached for comment.

Perhaps if Boeing had been reached for comment, it would have said: 'Shouldn't the FAA have ascertained the safety of the lithium ion batteries before clearing our airplane for flight after years and years of delays?

The use of new battery technology is among the cost-saving features of the 787, which Boeing says burns 20 percent less fuel than rival jetliners using older technology.

"Burns" being a great example of using the right word at the right time.

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reTARD's picture

LOL... that's precisely what I call them!

knukles's picture

Lucky Boeing... FAA's there to help you  :)

trav777's picture

this article is ridiculous hyperbole

where was the article for the 380's wing cracks after Qantas had an engine explosion?   They grounded their fleet.

Absurd nonsense from Durden trying to chum the waters.

It's a faulty BATTERY.

Nassim's picture

It's a faulty BATTERY.


For want of a nail the shoe was lost.
For want of a shoe the horse was lost.
For want of a horse the rider was lost.
For want of a rider the message was lost.
For want of a message the battle was lost.
For want of a battle the kingdom was lost.
And all for the want of a horseshoe nail.

ACP's picture

No worries. This is bullish and here's why:

Every day BA takes a hit, the QE-fueled algos will bang it back up same day.

For days when there are too many sellers to bang it back up, they'll bang it back up the next day.

When the problems are finally resolved, no matter how long it takes, the algos will launch the stock into the stratosphere on the backs of the shorts.

Easy as pie...or cake, for Russian cosmonauts.


chumbawamba's picture

They should dub it the American Dreamliner, because if they keep flying it with the defects it has then it's inevitably going to crash and burn.

I am Chumbawamba.

Pinto Currency's picture


Where is the Federal Dreamliner Reserve? - they need some central planners to simply print some new aircraft until the situation gets better.

mr_T's picture

Next up...
AIRBUS A350XWB first flight will be this year.
Another composite airliner like the 787.

Stuck on Zero's picture

Did those batteries come from Dell by any chance?

Oh, and why don't they just eject the batteries from the plane if they catch fire.  "Get ready to eject the core, Scotty!"


Manthong's picture

I love the smell of burning lithium-ion in the morning..

Seriously, I have a seven figure frequent flyer total and I will only get excited if they ever introduce a seating configuration that is designed to accomodate people with arms and reclining seats that respect the airspace over my lap.

Real Estate Geek's picture


That configuration is called first class. Cash in some of those miles, amigo!

Corbeck's picture

Not as funny as you might think. Some airliners are engineered such that a battery, in "thermal runaway", will melt it's way out of the aircraft through "non-critical" structures. It was a design parameter written in blood, as a corporate aircraft's battery melted its way out through "critical structures". The incident ended badly.

azengrcat's picture

Are you a Boeing DERp or just a BAg holder?  Either way the qual testing was obviously garbage.  100% of the responsibility is on the system integrator who comes up with test requirements regardless of the FAA giving "special conditions" for certification.  I wonder if any of the composite fatigue life testing had any thermal cycling omissions?

Matt's picture

It seems the batteries may not be defective. It is simply the fact that they are Lithium Ion batteries (original, commonly Lithium Cobalt Oxide). On the packaging, it specifically states they cannot be shipped by air. It seems Lithium Ion batteries cannot handle changes in altitude, and may catch fire as a result.

If this is correct, it indicates that there is no manufacturing flaw, but rather, that no one involved in the battery program actually knows anything about the batteries themselves.

Using a newer battery design, such as Lithium Polymer, or preferably Lithium Ferro-Phosphate, would prevent / solve this problem. As a bonus, Lithium Cobalt Oxide is self-oxidizing, meaning they cannot be extinguished once ignited.

CheapBastard's picture

"U.S., others ground Boeing Dreamliner indefinitely"


No mention in the article if Japan bought that 'extended warranty plan' they always try to sell you. In any case, I hope Japan kept their receipt. 

Dugald's picture

Change the damned batteries.........

There!  fixed!

Eireann go Brach's picture

Where you been Trav? Did you just get out of jail again?

philipat's picture

@Trav777 "It's a faulty BATTERY"

HELLOOOOOO, It's a fauly battery which CATCHES FIRE. If that happens Mid-Atlantic or MId-Pacific, you might not want to be on board. I have recently rescheduled several Tans-Pacific flights to avoid the 787 and, instead, fly on your eponym. Incidentally, I was also fastidious in avoiding the 380 when the engines were disintegarting and the wings falling off. It's just this cute self-preservation thing that I have. Of course, it's your call....

trav777's picture

the battery will be replaced.

The 777 had issues when it first came out as well.  This is typical.

schatzi's picture

You have a valid point. Hyperbole abounds, will hit the stock price and eventually recover. They have issues no doubt: the aircraft is lastest generation, yet core competences were outsourced. Highly outsourced plane production using latest technology is asking for trouble. Issues I assume will eventually get sorted.

AgAu_man's picture

For those who actually know something about the Aerospace industry -- and I do -- they'd know that the FAA is nothing but 0.1 mm short of a complete farce.  They are run by a bunch of 'entitlement bureaucrats', with a work-pace/ethic of a sloth on vacation.

They could have and should have done their due diligence in certifying this beforehand, i.e. they "voted for it, before they voted against it".  Dumb asses!  Although calling them "dumb donkeys" seems redundant.

What the FAA is world-class at is:  Their own job security.

Totentänzerlied's picture

"the FAA is nothing but 0.1 mm short of a complete farce.  They are run by a bunch of 'entitlement bureaucrats', with a work-pace/ethic of a sloth on vacation."

Why, it's almost as if it was government agency!

Dieselclam's picture

The FAA's oversight is from the D.O.T. Inspector General. Guess who they report to? Congress/Senate Transportation Committee bureaucrats. If anyone thinks they can be taken seriously as a whistle blower with that bunch, they should consider how fast a phone call to
a top bureaucrat could generate another phone call suggesting that the I.G. have an immediate investigation of career self-preservation instead of investigating complaints.

Major airframe manufacturers have their own employees designated as FAA reps, btw. Engineers are above reproach....

The Alarmist's picture

Dreamliner is just a loss-leader to give Boeing an air of respectability .... Don't cry for them; they'll somehow manage to get by on the defense contracts.

Catflappo's picture

"air of respectability" seems just the wrong turn of phrase?

trav777's picture

um, the 787 will turn Boeing a profit...the order book is very deep.  It's a great plane, true gamechanger.

SeverinSlade's picture

One can only hope that Ray Lahood was long BA.

LongSoupLine's picture

LaHood is just another Obamatard fucking puppet.


Fuck you assholes.

Squid Vicious's picture

Any company in bed with the M.I.C. deserves all the bad karma in the universe

JustObserving's picture

perhaps it is time to find a more appropriate name of the Dreamliner?

I think it is perfect - it only works flawlessly in dreams.  Rather like the American dream - you have to be asleep to know it.

knukles's picture

American Dream.
That's why it's called "dream"....not reality, certainty, promise or done deal.


Aductor's picture

I DEMAND congressional hearings, sobbing CEOs and the whole show. Oh, forgot. American company. No wait, Japanese battery supplier!


The dreamliner is safe as long it does not crash. Duh. 

Dieselclam's picture

Wrong. The plane at Boston caught fire on the ground. One on the ground in Charleston started a grass fire. One in Chicago was found to have battery issues. One in boston and one in Japan had fuel leaks while on the ground. I wouldn't call that safe.

The Gooch's picture

"Dream Weaver Plane".

 I'll take a triple, stewardess.

Disclaimer: This song is painful but the lyrics are fitting- "Leave tomorrow behind"

CheapBastard's picture

They are on the phone right now calling for tech support ... from Gulab Pundit in Dehli.....

fuu's picture

FAA: Will also examine Boeing 787 batteries as part of comprehensive review announced last week

Shouldn't that have been done before they were approved in the first place?

CPL's picture

And that's a new plane that's been hyped.   How's that for shit your pants scary?