The Lance Armstrong Lie Cloud

Tyler Durden's picture

Yesterday Lance Armstrong admitted to the New Normal national confessional and conscience clearinghouse - Oprah - to what everyone had known for a long time, yet what he spent millions over the years suing others for "defaming" him for. Below is the resulting word liecloud of his interview. Spot the words "apologize" and "sorry." In other news, we look forward to Lance's rise to the ranks of primary dealer prop trader. He certainly has all the sociopathological prerequisites.

Via the BBC

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GetZeeGold's picture



Pretty hard to wear and look good without taking dope.....just sayin.

johnQpublic's picture

funny sport

in the last 22 years ,the only winner of the tour not to be caught doping is the most recent winner


and it was the most boring no action tour i have ever watched

at this junture they ought to just make doping legal in the sport so it has at least one iota of credibility

do they intend to run the blood samples of everyone who was in second place etc until they find a clean winner for all of lances tour wins?

TuesdayBen's picture

Yeah, won't it be fun to see who the best doper is, and to watch him high-fiving his medical entourage on the medals podium

Zer0head's picture

Thanks Oprah

Call us when Lloyd, Jamie et al join you for a cluster confession

but until then Efff UU


johnQpublic's picture

.1%er confesses to .01%er


tells 10% of his misdeeds to 99% of the 47%


spastic_colon's picture

why has oprah or anyone not interviewed the complicit corporations that made billions while knowing and likely encouraging him to dope?

kinetik's picture

I believe you may have conflated journalism with Oprahism.

mkkby's picture

I never liked Lance, and it was pretty obvious he was cheating.  His "improvement" was too quick -- from average rider, to winner, to winning easily.

It reminded me of a story told by a weight lifter.  He struggled for years to gain a few pounds of muscle.  Then he tried steroids and gained 30 pounds in one year.

Or the NFL.  Back in the 80s, the largest linemen were 275 pounds and they looked like fat slobs -- really 225 pounds lean.  Now they are all 300 + and low body fat.

johnQpublic's picture

heres some more perfect math for you....

On 29 August, it was announced that 47 year old Soren Svenningsen tested positive for three banned substances in an amateur race on June 30 of the same year. Svenningsen was a board member of the Danish Cycling Union and of the Clearidium anti-doping agency. He resigned from the Cycling Union


you know what it tells me when the head of the anti dopers gets busted doping in an amature race that does not matter?

GUN control will not work!

make all the laws you want and even the law makers will break them, as will the law enforcers as well as the criminals, leaving the middle class stuck in the middle...err, honest gun owning citizens stuck in the middle....err, honest bycicle riding gun owning middle class libertarian snipers caught in the middle

DaveyJones's picture

Well played Zero. On that theme, check out what Dave Zirin sportswriter says about this - his very first words: interview at 36 mins:

A Nanny Moose's picture

Ophrah is the circus, in bread and circuses.

prains's picture



you miss the point Flance is the quintessential american narcissist slash psychopath, he is the poster child for all that is all that is WRONG with your country

Larry Dallas's picture

I said it before, I always thought those folks who wore Livestrong plastic crap were douchebags.

Can't wait to snicker at one today when I purposely go to Whole Foods...

MachoMan's picture

I think all the second place finishers were previously caught doping (maybe all but on one tour win)...  So we're down to third, at best, on any of his titles.  Like I said in the other thread, doping makes it impossible to compare Lance to historical riders, but he beat his contemporaries...  not sure why this is so hard for people to accept.

johnQpublic's picture

The International Cycling Union's management committee said it understands that "a cloud of suspicion would remain hanging over this dark period [1998-2005] — but that while this might appear harsh for those who rode clean, they would understand there was little honor to be gained in reallocating places."

The committee also called "on Armstrong and all other affected riders to return the prize money they had received

#so the more i read , i see cycling has doping cases going back to 1886

i was trying to figure out how deep they would need to go to get the winners, and based on what i could find it would be almost impossible to find a winner for any of those races


most of the top cyclists have been busted at one time or another

trav777's picture

there were perhaps AT MOST a half dozen or so clean riders in any given Tour and they were smoked out by the first mountain stages.

Their careers lasted like 2 or 3 years on average.  You CANNOT compete at a high level in professional sports without dope.  Just get over it, people.

Yes, cycling has been doped since they invented the bike.

donsluck's picture

You are silly, it's not DOPE, it's DOPING ie the removal of one's own blood, storing it, and re-injecting it at race time. It is not drugs. Obviously not even possible back when the bicycle was invented.

Matt's picture

Dope / doping has become a generic term for any type of drugs or performance enhancing cheats, rather than listing a massive litany of every possible way to cheat.

trav777's picture

HUH? You really think doping started with Lance Amstrong?  WTF planet are you on?

Cyclists have been doping since 1900, dude.  Old timers like Ancquetil and Coppi and Merckx talked openly of this.  The 84 US cycling Olympic team blood packed like Armstrong did.

johnQpublic's picture

its such a shame because it is an inspiring sport at an individual level

its like soccer, but for rich western heterosexuals

(note: soccer is a good game because its cool to have a game girls and fags can play too, and dont tell me a guy rolling around on the ground waiting for a stretcher when he got kicked in the shin isnt a fucking fag. cycling is a real sport because the dudes get bandaged after severe road rash inducing falls while they are still riding up a freakin hill.)

FrankDrakman's picture

Soccer is hockey for fags and guys who can't skate.

MachoMan's picture

Not at all, but each era of racing has a different set of drugs (and ancillary substances) and understanding thereof...  while some on here argue that some cyclists have access to better drugs in a particular era, I'd venture to say that the % increase in effectiveness of the drugs is probably outweighed by the margin of victory...  blood doping isn't new...  but our understanding of it always changes.  [and I don't think lance made some magical breakthroughs or had some incredible core competency of doping...  he didn't invent it...  and if his contemporaries (and their teams) were close, then they would have competed].

CrashisOptimistic's picture

It's you who can't accept it.

They Don't All Have The Same Pharmacist.

He didn't beat his contemporaries.  He beat their pharmacists.  Or rather, his pharmacist beat theirs. 

Your theory of comparison only works if they all get exactly the same drug, from exactly the same batch from exactly the same factory, with exactly the same transport time, delivered to exactly the same spot on an arm or wherever.

This guy beat no one.  His druggie won those races.

johnQpublic's picture

funny observation

in 2006 there was a stage where the top two guys in one mountain got removed for doping. michael rasmussen got dq'd and landis won the stage after rasmussens dq only to later be dq'd himself. landis's druggist was only able to win after rasmussens druggist was caught, by your analysis

donsluck's picture

Wrong, it's not DOPE it's DOPING, removing your blood, storing it, re-injecting it at race time. No pharmacist involved!

pods's picture

There are lots of ways to dope, not just increasing the amount of blood.

There are many fluorocarbon emulsions that can be made that hold dissolved O2.  These are good at increasing the aerobic respiration of your body's cells.

The oil phase (perfluorooctyl bromide for one) readily dissolves and holds a lot of gas, making your effective aerobic respiration much greater.

Same thing they do for premature infants who have poorly developed lungs.


samcontrol's picture

man i'm i gonna have fun with this thread...
Obviously you did not watch the tour, he didn't breack a sweat, he was one of the MOST drugged i have seen years. I'm no Doctor but they trained on a magic sport pill that trains them on rest....

did you see the olympics??. since when do brits rule in sports....please!!!

Eireann go Brach's picture

Clinton, 98% of bankers, 99% of people all lie, cheat and do why they need to get ahead! America just loves a good story to deflect themselves from the bitterness of their small meaningless lives! He admitted it, move on!

tallen's picture

Armstrong aught to stand to be the next Fed president, his skills and years of experience in lying and deceit would come in handy.

BLOTTO's picture

Our whole life is one giant fuckin lie and myth.


Somebody knows the truth - can you imagine the control you can have over others with it?


Knowledge is power


We, as a society, have been hoodwinked since day 1. That is a massive streak of unfortune.

samcontrol's picture

yep , the pedals turned all by themselves all those years, those hills in France are so tiny....dood you can't walk up 50 steps , what do you know about sports and doping?ush

DaveyJones's picture

The difference here, as Zero and Sportwriter Zirin points out (above) is that Lance is not the government or a banker and will likely be successfully counter sued by the numerous people he threatened and sued over the years to shut them up. Those other guys ... not so much.

LongSoupLine's picture

When is the liar and fucking destroyer of middle class wealth, Bernanke, going on Oprah?!


Who gives a fuck about the bike boy...Fuck you Bernanke, you fucking complete fucking asshole.

Acidtest Dummy's picture

Bernanke is a run of the mill criminal bankster, Amerika has real WAR CRIMINALS that need prosecution.

ali-ali-al-qomfri's picture


“what part of I am not monetizing the debt do you not understand, I can’t be more clear than that” –Bernanke

“it’s the culture of the bankers to print, but I’m not going to name anybody, I did it myself” – Bernanke

“I lost a testicle to a printing accident and justify my use of printing to overcome my uni-testie” – Bernanke

“we would throw the used printer cartridges in cokes cans and have the printer teams toss them out”-Bernanke

jjsilver's picture

More Lies and deception


The Sandy Hook Shooting - Fully Exposed

The cnn interview in this video where there is no sound can be heard starting at 1:00
on video the sandy hook actors part 2

The Sandy Hook Actors PART 1

The Sandy Hook Actors PART 2

The Sandy Hook Actors? PART 3

SANDY HOOK ACTORS - Noah Pozner Nick Phelps Carlos Soto Actors from same Greenberg Family

Gideon Gono's picture

You are fucking idiot like the rest of the morons on the internet who are spreading lies about Sandy Hook.  It DID happen and they are real children and they are dead.  The man in the video who was criticized for smiling had been asked to speak to one media outlet.  He showed up for the interview and it was a press conference atmosphere.  The smile plastered on his face was an attempt to hold his shit together and not burst into tears.  The only reason he spoke with the press was because his family had just moved from out of state and he wanted to communicate with friends and relatives far away.  He was told that he would be speaking to one reporter.  The media was a constant presence and aggravation for 2 weeks after the incident.  They were rude and intrusive and locked the town down by theri presence.

Again for all you fucking morons out there, it did happen, there was only one shooter, and the children were real people.  There are no Sandy Hook "actors".  Go back to searching for Big Foot.

Stackers's picture

Gono, no one is denying it happened. no one is denying Adam L. did the shooting. What people are QUESTIONING is the string of lies and inconsistencies spewed at us by the lame stream media. Turn off CNN and Fox and start doing your own research.

Zer0head's picture

total conspiracy I mean

Posted on ZH Dec 24

story not found


here is the actual  google cache of the above article WTF WTF WTF


they quote the dead principle????????????  (but cache has been eliminated now)


how TF can they quote the dead principle? this is a local newspaper they don't make shit up and why is the article pulled now

take a screen shot of the above Google cache 

 here is WAPO eulogizing the principle they quoted


But I saved this screen capture of the original


and here is the revised version of the article (without the principle)

and just in case screen capture

Cosimo de Medici's picture

You stupid fucking delusional addled-brain piece of shit.  The world without the internet was a better place when mutants like you would just walk the town twitching and barking at the moon and letting normal folks cut you a wide swathe.  Now the net has become your collective therapy where you have found and linked up with the other examples of god's quality control problems, and where you can share your delusions and do reacharounds on those similarly afflicted.  Oh, you probably call it research when you surf to places where your "journalistic" heroes reach deep into their arses to pull out their "facts".  And you buy them all while having the audacity to call others "sheeple"?

Inconsistencies?  Use whatever chunks of that fucking brain of yours that might function in this time and place, and consider the situation.  A small town where the worst any cop had probably ever seen was a drunk husband smacking around his wife, or a ten year old scoffing a pie from a church bake sale.  Not a one of them had ever heard a shot fired in anger.  Suddenly their whole world gets turned upside down, and they see unimagineable horror on a scale that rivals anything this side of Hell.  They lack the skill and the emotional hardness to deal with such slaughter, and while they are trying to catch their breath, truckloads of reporters show up peppering them with questions and demanding details nobody yet knows.  The reporters themselves were those closest to the scene, and were, initially, unlikely to be the highest paid "talent" of their respective networks.  So there are inexperienced reporters pushing shocked and equally inexperienced police to "solve" something where the screams have barely died down, and you are surprised that there might be some "inconsistencies"?  You're a fucking moron who clearly has no life experience whatsoever.

As for all the "conspiracy" bullshit, why don't one of you fucking clowns go to that town and tell it to one of the cops who saw six year olds with multiple headshots?  You won't because you are, besides being delusional shitheads, goddamn fucking piece of shit cowards.  Fuck yourselves.

And save the bullshit about "disappearing videos", grassy knoll shooters (who apparently either made sure security cameras got them or waited around until the media could capture them in the act), or bullshit about planted guns.

There are fucking crazy people in this world and sometimes they do horrible things.  You should know crazy very well.  It's your species.  And look at the plus arrows.  You proud of this, Tyler?

Fucking piece of shit loons have destroyed any credibility this site might have once had.  Nice fucking job shitheads.  You make Jamie and Lloyd seem like the Salt of the Earth in comparison.  No wonder they win and you lose.

Yes, I used barnyard epithets.

Miss Expectations's picture

I have watched a lot of interviews with the families and all of them seem peculiar.  Not shell shocked peculiar, peculiar in a way that just does not appear to be genuine.  Putting one's grief on intentional public display strikes me as very, very unnatural.  If your child had been slaughtered would you sit down to discuss it on TV?  Would you want the media filming your son's funeral inside the synagogue?  Who would/could do that?  I saw a new interview with Veronique Pozner...she has had a new eyebrow waxing, new french manicure, she's in a room with a Christmas tree.  I don't know what happened.  I do know that what I'm seeing seems filled with fakery of one sort or another.

And, your over the top anger toward someone who questions the media story line makes you seem like a bit of a fucking piece of shit loony tunes daydream believer.

Just Ice's picture

"RIP" Victoria Soto (the heroic teacher who shielded kids) facebook page was created before the Sandy Snooker shooting then scrubbed after this inartistic screw up of that part of the staging came to light 

And you're absolutely correct...the lady doth protest too much (in post previous to yours).


peekcrackers's picture


lance armstrong is a 10.00 hooker at best .. Flying his "Live wrong "  I hope you Homos that wore that cheesy rubber band on your forarms , learned somthing, The guys a jack ass branding under the "cancer feel good: then pay me  flag !




fonzannoon's picture

I thought Sheep was referring to Gono...

I give up.

samcontrol's picture

you are a f idiot , it,s fine you sheer NfL players....right?

a little juice is the only solution to even participate and finish the tour for a normal person let alone "race it" .. it is the HARDEST sports event by far.

Do you guys actually know what cyclist take and go thru just to make it in the sport ,,, way more than a fat ass pitcher or a hitzilla .. It is not a one day ironman....o right...they are healthy in that sport also.

I don't give a f what he took, he is one of the greatest athletes i have ever seen!