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The Lance Armstrong Lie Cloud

Tyler Durden's picture


Yesterday Lance Armstrong admitted to the New Normal national confessional and conscience clearinghouse - Oprah - to what everyone had known for a long time, yet what he spent millions over the years suing others for "defaming" him for. Below is the resulting word liecloud of his interview. Spot the words "apologize" and "sorry." In other news, we look forward to Lance's rise to the ranks of primary dealer prop trader. He certainly has all the sociopathological prerequisites.

Via the BBC


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Fri, 01/18/2013 - 09:49 | 3165770 RacerX
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Fri, 01/18/2013 - 09:51 | 3165773 GetZeeGold
GetZeeGold's picture



Pretty hard to wear and look good without taking dope.....just sayin.

Fri, 01/18/2013 - 10:03 | 3165814 johnQpublic
johnQpublic's picture

funny sport

in the last 22 years ,the only winner of the tour not to be caught doping is the most recent winner


and it was the most boring no action tour i have ever watched

at this junture they ought to just make doping legal in the sport so it has at least one iota of credibility

do they intend to run the blood samples of everyone who was in second place etc until they find a clean winner for all of lances tour wins?

Fri, 01/18/2013 - 10:14 | 3165860 TuesdayBen
TuesdayBen's picture

Yeah, won't it be fun to see who the best doper is, and to watch him high-fiving his medical entourage on the medals podium

Fri, 01/18/2013 - 10:26 | 3165911 Zer0head
Zer0head's picture

Thanks Oprah

Call us when Lloyd, Jamie et al join you for a cluster confession

but until then Efff UU


Fri, 01/18/2013 - 10:35 | 3165951 johnQpublic
johnQpublic's picture

.1%er confesses to .01%er


tells 10% of his misdeeds to 99% of the 47%


Fri, 01/18/2013 - 10:51 | 3166022 spastic_colon
spastic_colon's picture

why has oprah or anyone not interviewed the complicit corporations that made billions while knowing and likely encouraging him to dope?

Fri, 01/18/2013 - 11:25 | 3166161 kinetik
kinetik's picture

I believe you may have conflated journalism with Oprahism.

Sat, 01/19/2013 - 03:18 | 3168515 mkkby
mkkby's picture

I never liked Lance, and it was pretty obvious he was cheating.  His "improvement" was too quick -- from average rider, to winner, to winning easily.

It reminded me of a story told by a weight lifter.  He struggled for years to gain a few pounds of muscle.  Then he tried steroids and gained 30 pounds in one year.

Or the NFL.  Back in the 80s, the largest linemen were 275 pounds and they looked like fat slobs -- really 225 pounds lean.  Now they are all 300 + and low body fat.

Fri, 01/18/2013 - 10:57 | 3166048 ParkAveFlasher
ParkAveFlasher's picture

Perfect math, JQ.

Fri, 01/18/2013 - 12:09 | 3166344 johnQpublic
johnQpublic's picture

heres some more perfect math for you....

On 29 August, it was announced that 47 year old Soren Svenningsen tested positive for three banned substances in an amateur race on June 30 of the same year. Svenningsen was a board member of the Danish Cycling Union and of the Clearidium anti-doping agency. He resigned from the Cycling Union


you know what it tells me when the head of the anti dopers gets busted doping in an amature race that does not matter?

GUN control will not work!

make all the laws you want and even the law makers will break them, as will the law enforcers as well as the criminals, leaving the middle class stuck in the middle...err, honest gun owning citizens stuck in the middle....err, honest bycicle riding gun owning middle class libertarian snipers caught in the middle

Fri, 01/18/2013 - 10:50 | 3166023 DaveyJones
DaveyJones's picture

Well played Zero. On that theme, check out what Dave Zirin sportswriter says about this - his very first words: interview at 36 mins:

Fri, 01/18/2013 - 11:08 | 3166083 A Nanny Moose
A Nanny Moose's picture

Ophrah is the circus, in bread and circuses.

Fri, 01/18/2013 - 11:36 | 3166219 CharlieSDT
CharlieSDT's picture

She ate all the bread.

Sat, 01/19/2013 - 03:41 | 3168527 prains
prains's picture



you miss the point Flance is the quintessential american narcissist slash psychopath, he is the poster child for all that is all that is WRONG with your country

Fri, 01/18/2013 - 12:13 | 3166359 Larry Dallas
Larry Dallas's picture

I said it before, I always thought those folks who wore Livestrong plastic crap were douchebags.

Can't wait to snicker at one today when I purposely go to Whole Foods...

Fri, 01/18/2013 - 10:48 | 3166013 MachoMan
MachoMan's picture

I think all the second place finishers were previously caught doping (maybe all but on one tour win)...  So we're down to third, at best, on any of his titles.  Like I said in the other thread, doping makes it impossible to compare Lance to historical riders, but he beat his contemporaries...  not sure why this is so hard for people to accept.

Fri, 01/18/2013 - 11:16 | 3166123 johnQpublic
johnQpublic's picture

The International Cycling Union's management committee said it understands that "a cloud of suspicion would remain hanging over this dark period [1998-2005] — but that while this might appear harsh for those who rode clean, they would understand there was little honor to be gained in reallocating places."

The committee also called "on Armstrong and all other affected riders to return the prize money they had received

#so the more i read , i see cycling has doping cases going back to 1886

i was trying to figure out how deep they would need to go to get the winners, and based on what i could find it would be almost impossible to find a winner for any of those races


most of the top cyclists have been busted at one time or another

Fri, 01/18/2013 - 11:29 | 3166186 trav777
trav777's picture

there were perhaps AT MOST a half dozen or so clean riders in any given Tour and they were smoked out by the first mountain stages.

Their careers lasted like 2 or 3 years on average.  You CANNOT compete at a high level in professional sports without dope.  Just get over it, people.

Yes, cycling has been doped since they invented the bike.

Fri, 01/18/2013 - 12:35 | 3166443 donsluck
donsluck's picture

You are silly, it's not DOPE, it's DOPING ie the removal of one's own blood, storing it, and re-injecting it at race time. It is not drugs. Obviously not even possible back when the bicycle was invented.

Fri, 01/18/2013 - 14:02 | 3166736 Matt
Matt's picture

Dope / doping has become a generic term for any type of drugs or performance enhancing cheats, rather than listing a massive litany of every possible way to cheat.

Fri, 01/18/2013 - 11:28 | 3166180 trav777
trav777's picture

HUH? You really think doping started with Lance Amstrong?  WTF planet are you on?

Cyclists have been doping since 1900, dude.  Old timers like Ancquetil and Coppi and Merckx talked openly of this.  The 84 US cycling Olympic team blood packed like Armstrong did.

Fri, 01/18/2013 - 11:50 | 3166283 johnQpublic
johnQpublic's picture

its such a shame because it is an inspiring sport at an individual level

its like soccer, but for rich western heterosexuals

(note: soccer is a good game because its cool to have a game girls and fags can play too, and dont tell me a guy rolling around on the ground waiting for a stretcher when he got kicked in the shin isnt a fucking fag. cycling is a real sport because the dudes get bandaged after severe road rash inducing falls while they are still riding up a freakin hill.)

Fri, 01/18/2013 - 12:36 | 3166444 FrankDrakman
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Soccer is hockey for fags and guys who can't skate.

Fri, 01/18/2013 - 15:24 | 3167131 MachoMan
MachoMan's picture

Not at all, but each era of racing has a different set of drugs (and ancillary substances) and understanding thereof...  while some on here argue that some cyclists have access to better drugs in a particular era, I'd venture to say that the % increase in effectiveness of the drugs is probably outweighed by the margin of victory...  blood doping isn't new...  but our understanding of it always changes.  [and I don't think lance made some magical breakthroughs or had some incredible core competency of doping...  he didn't invent it...  and if his contemporaries (and their teams) were close, then they would have competed].

Fri, 01/18/2013 - 12:06 | 3166334 CrashisOptimistic
CrashisOptimistic's picture

It's you who can't accept it.

They Don't All Have The Same Pharmacist.

He didn't beat his contemporaries.  He beat their pharmacists.  Or rather, his pharmacist beat theirs. 

Your theory of comparison only works if they all get exactly the same drug, from exactly the same batch from exactly the same factory, with exactly the same transport time, delivered to exactly the same spot on an arm or wherever.

This guy beat no one.  His druggie won those races.

Fri, 01/18/2013 - 12:14 | 3166364 johnQpublic
johnQpublic's picture

funny observation

in 2006 there was a stage where the top two guys in one mountain got removed for doping. michael rasmussen got dq'd and landis won the stage after rasmussens dq only to later be dq'd himself. landis's druggist was only able to win after rasmussens druggist was caught, by your analysis

Fri, 01/18/2013 - 12:37 | 3166450 donsluck
donsluck's picture

Wrong, it's not DOPE it's DOPING, removing your blood, storing it, re-injecting it at race time. No pharmacist involved!

Fri, 01/18/2013 - 13:08 | 3166566 pods
pods's picture

There are lots of ways to dope, not just increasing the amount of blood.

There are many fluorocarbon emulsions that can be made that hold dissolved O2.  These are good at increasing the aerobic respiration of your body's cells.

The oil phase (perfluorooctyl bromide for one) readily dissolves and holds a lot of gas, making your effective aerobic respiration much greater.

Same thing they do for premature infants who have poorly developed lungs.


Fri, 01/18/2013 - 15:35 | 3167173 samcontrol
samcontrol's picture

man i'm i gonna have fun with this thread...
Obviously you did not watch the tour, he didn't breack a sweat, he was one of the MOST drugged i have seen years. I'm no Doctor but they trained on a magic sport pill that trains them on rest....

did you see the olympics??. since when do brits rule in sports....please!!!

Fri, 01/18/2013 - 10:05 | 3165825 Eireann go Brach
Eireann go Brach's picture

Clinton, 98% of bankers, 99% of people all lie, cheat and do why they need to get ahead! America just loves a good story to deflect themselves from the bitterness of their small meaningless lives! He admitted it, move on!

Fri, 01/18/2013 - 10:07 | 3165833 tallen
tallen's picture

Armstrong aught to stand to be the next Fed president, his skills and years of experience in lying and deceit would come in handy.

Fri, 01/18/2013 - 10:16 | 3165866 BLOTTO
BLOTTO's picture

Our whole life is one giant fuckin lie and myth.


Somebody knows the truth - can you imagine the control you can have over others with it?


Knowledge is power


We, as a society, have been hoodwinked since day 1. That is a massive streak of unfortune.

Fri, 01/18/2013 - 15:37 | 3167184 samcontrol
samcontrol's picture

yep , the pedals turned all by themselves all those years, those hills in France are so tiny....dood you can't walk up 50 steps , what do you know about sports and doping?ush

Fri, 01/18/2013 - 10:56 | 3166041 DaveyJones
DaveyJones's picture

The difference here, as Zero and Sportwriter Zirin points out (above) is that Lance is not the government or a banker and will likely be successfully counter sued by the numerous people he threatened and sued over the years to shut them up. Those other guys ... not so much.

Fri, 01/18/2013 - 10:18 | 3165878 LongSoupLine
LongSoupLine's picture

When is the liar and fucking destroyer of middle class wealth, Bernanke, going on Oprah?!


Who gives a fuck about the bike boy...Fuck you Bernanke, you fucking complete fucking asshole.

Fri, 01/18/2013 - 13:18 | 3166601 Acidtest Dummy
Acidtest Dummy's picture

Bernanke is a run of the mill criminal bankster, Amerika has real WAR CRIMINALS that need prosecution.

Fri, 01/18/2013 - 14:21 | 3166831 ali-ali-al-qomfri
ali-ali-al-qomfri's picture


“what part of I am not monetizing the debt do you not understand, I can’t be more clear than that” –Bernanke

“it’s the culture of the bankers to print, but I’m not going to name anybody, I did it myself” – Bernanke

“I lost a testicle to a printing accident and justify my use of printing to overcome my uni-testie” – Bernanke

“we would throw the used printer cartridges in cokes cans and have the printer teams toss them out”-Bernanke

Fri, 01/18/2013 - 09:51 | 3165774 jjsilver
jjsilver's picture

More Lies and deception


The Sandy Hook Shooting - Fully Exposed

The cnn interview in this video where there is no sound can be heard starting at 1:00
on video the sandy hook actors part 2

The Sandy Hook Actors PART 1

The Sandy Hook Actors PART 2

The Sandy Hook Actors? PART 3

SANDY HOOK ACTORS - Noah Pozner Nick Phelps Carlos Soto Actors from same Greenberg Family

Fri, 01/18/2013 - 10:08 | 3165839 Gideon Gono
Gideon Gono's picture

You are fucking idiot like the rest of the morons on the internet who are spreading lies about Sandy Hook.  It DID happen and they are real children and they are dead.  The man in the video who was criticized for smiling had been asked to speak to one media outlet.  He showed up for the interview and it was a press conference atmosphere.  The smile plastered on his face was an attempt to hold his shit together and not burst into tears.  The only reason he spoke with the press was because his family had just moved from out of state and he wanted to communicate with friends and relatives far away.  He was told that he would be speaking to one reporter.  The media was a constant presence and aggravation for 2 weeks after the incident.  They were rude and intrusive and locked the town down by theri presence.

Again for all you fucking morons out there, it did happen, there was only one shooter, and the children were real people.  There are no Sandy Hook "actors".  Go back to searching for Big Foot.

Fri, 01/18/2013 - 10:18 | 3165870 Stackers
Stackers's picture

Gono, no one is denying it happened. no one is denying Adam L. did the shooting. What people are QUESTIONING is the string of lies and inconsistencies spewed at us by the lame stream media. Turn off CNN and Fox and start doing your own research.

Fri, 01/18/2013 - 10:30 | 3165933 Zer0head
Zer0head's picture

total conspiracy I mean

Posted on ZH Dec 24

story not found


here is the actual  google cache of the above article WTF WTF WTF


they quote the dead principle????????????  (but cache has been eliminated now)


how TF can they quote the dead principle? this is a local newspaper they don't make shit up and why is the article pulled now

take a screen shot of the above Google cache 

 here is WAPO eulogizing the principle they quoted


But I saved this screen capture of the original


and here is the revised version of the article (without the principle)

and just in case screen capture

Fri, 01/18/2013 - 13:22 | 3166613 Cosimo de Medici
Cosimo de Medici's picture

You stupid fucking delusional addled-brain piece of shit.  The world without the internet was a better place when mutants like you would just walk the town twitching and barking at the moon and letting normal folks cut you a wide swathe.  Now the net has become your collective therapy where you have found and linked up with the other examples of god's quality control problems, and where you can share your delusions and do reacharounds on those similarly afflicted.  Oh, you probably call it research when you surf to places where your "journalistic" heroes reach deep into their arses to pull out their "facts".  And you buy them all while having the audacity to call others "sheeple"?

Inconsistencies?  Use whatever chunks of that fucking brain of yours that might function in this time and place, and consider the situation.  A small town where the worst any cop had probably ever seen was a drunk husband smacking around his wife, or a ten year old scoffing a pie from a church bake sale.  Not a one of them had ever heard a shot fired in anger.  Suddenly their whole world gets turned upside down, and they see unimagineable horror on a scale that rivals anything this side of Hell.  They lack the skill and the emotional hardness to deal with such slaughter, and while they are trying to catch their breath, truckloads of reporters show up peppering them with questions and demanding details nobody yet knows.  The reporters themselves were those closest to the scene, and were, initially, unlikely to be the highest paid "talent" of their respective networks.  So there are inexperienced reporters pushing shocked and equally inexperienced police to "solve" something where the screams have barely died down, and you are surprised that there might be some "inconsistencies"?  You're a fucking moron who clearly has no life experience whatsoever.

As for all the "conspiracy" bullshit, why don't one of you fucking clowns go to that town and tell it to one of the cops who saw six year olds with multiple headshots?  You won't because you are, besides being delusional shitheads, goddamn fucking piece of shit cowards.  Fuck yourselves.

And save the bullshit about "disappearing videos", grassy knoll shooters (who apparently either made sure security cameras got them or waited around until the media could capture them in the act), or bullshit about planted guns.

There are fucking crazy people in this world and sometimes they do horrible things.  You should know crazy very well.  It's your species.  And look at the plus arrows.  You proud of this, Tyler?

Fucking piece of shit loons have destroyed any credibility this site might have once had.  Nice fucking job shitheads.  You make Jamie and Lloyd seem like the Salt of the Earth in comparison.  No wonder they win and you lose.

Yes, I used barnyard epithets.

Fri, 01/18/2013 - 14:50 | 3166958 Miss Expectations
Miss Expectations's picture

I have watched a lot of interviews with the families and all of them seem peculiar.  Not shell shocked peculiar, peculiar in a way that just does not appear to be genuine.  Putting one's grief on intentional public display strikes me as very, very unnatural.  If your child had been slaughtered would you sit down to discuss it on TV?  Would you want the media filming your son's funeral inside the synagogue?  Who would/could do that?  I saw a new interview with Veronique Pozner...she has had a new eyebrow waxing, new french manicure, she's in a room with a Christmas tree.  I don't know what happened.  I do know that what I'm seeing seems filled with fakery of one sort or another.

And, your over the top anger toward someone who questions the media story line makes you seem like a bit of a fucking piece of shit loony tunes daydream believer.

Fri, 01/18/2013 - 14:57 | 3167007 Just Ice
Just Ice's picture

"RIP" Victoria Soto (the heroic teacher who shielded kids) facebook page was created before the Sandy Snooker shooting then scrubbed after this inartistic screw up of that part of the staging came to light 

And you're absolutely correct...the lady doth protest too much (in post previous to yours).


Fri, 01/18/2013 - 10:17 | 3165874 SheepDog-One
SheepDog-One's picture


Fri, 01/18/2013 - 10:26 | 3165918 peekcrackers
peekcrackers's picture


lance armstrong is a 10.00 hooker at best .. Flying his "Live wrong "  I hope you Homos that wore that cheesy rubber band on your forarms , learned somthing, The guys a jack ass branding under the "cancer feel good: then pay me  flag !




Fri, 01/18/2013 - 10:28 | 3165924 fonzannoon
fonzannoon's picture

I thought Sheep was referring to Gono...

I give up.

Fri, 01/18/2013 - 15:47 | 3167215 samcontrol
samcontrol's picture

you are a f idiot , it,s fine you sheer NfL players....right?

a little juice is the only solution to even participate and finish the tour for a normal person let alone "race it" .. it is the HARDEST sports event by far.

Do you guys actually know what cyclist take and go thru just to make it in the sport ,,, way more than a fat ass pitcher or a hitzilla .. It is not a one day ironman....o right...they are healthy in that sport also.

I don't give a f what he took, he is one of the greatest athletes i have ever seen!

Fri, 01/18/2013 - 16:35 | 3167346 fonzannoon
fonzannoon's picture

Riding a bike is not a sport it's an activity.

Fri, 01/18/2013 - 10:20 | 3165887 jjsilver
jjsilver's picture

The smile plastered on his face was an attempt to hold his shit together and not burst into tears.


How would you know shill, you guys are such a joke. Don't they pay you enough, Try and do better

Fri, 01/18/2013 - 10:30 | 3165926 BLOTTO
BLOTTO's picture

Gono is a sheep and a traitor to the good people of this universe.


Those kids deserve the truth.



Fri, 01/18/2013 - 10:34 | 3165929 Just Ice
Just Ice's picture

Gono:  And people do up post-tragedy memorializations on Facebook all the time before the tragic events even occur.  Imo, there seems to be a lot credible pointing to the probability it was a staged event, albeit indeed a tragedy to those who weren't in on the staging part -- which would include the purported perpetrator and his mother as well as non-participant's children.  (Oh, and dead little girls come back to life for purposes of photo ops with the president... lawdie, lawdie, its an immaculate arising all over again.)  And I guess that GE financial guy is now without that cumbersome irritation of spousal/kid support, eh. 

Fri, 01/18/2013 - 11:32 | 3166202 CoolBeans
CoolBeans's picture

Hmmmm, really?

I do believe something very bad and very evil happened.

I DON'T believe it happened the way "they" say it did.

Fri, 01/18/2013 - 09:51 | 3165775 Big Corked Boots
Big Corked Boots's picture

Aside from the fact that Lance Armstrong has fulfilled the zeitgiest of America these days - lie, cheat, steal, get rich, apologize - who really gives a shit about this guy? He deserves to go away, since he apparently outrun the statute of limitations.

Fri, 01/18/2013 - 10:10 | 3165802 Rainman
Rainman's picture

Right...bicycle racing ain't no sport. Neither is volleyball. Drinking game is a sport, however.  

Fri, 01/18/2013 - 10:11 | 3165850 Vendetta
Vendetta's picture

Dodgeball is though, Lance may have been a backup for globo gym's team

Fri, 01/18/2013 - 10:34 | 3165950 catacl1sm
catacl1sm's picture

"If you can dodge a wrench,you can dodge a ball!"

Fri, 01/18/2013 - 10:47 | 3166006 negative rates
negative rates's picture

Not if yee aint got no hair!

Fri, 01/18/2013 - 10:28 | 3165925 Sauk Leader
Sauk Leader's picture

Remember the days when drinking games were part of the sport? Atheletes could drink whiskey and smoke cigars in the dugout, or slam a few beers inbetween periods and still be legends.

Fri, 01/18/2013 - 11:08 | 3166084 ParkAveFlasher
ParkAveFlasher's picture

Athletes are today expected to perform beyond human means. 

Look at the speed and endurance in the NFL, for example.  The human body is not designed to give and take that kind of abuse over time, however the league can't turn down the money they get for showing the spectacle of it all.  Hence, an illicit agreement between labor & ownership regarding the use of drugs.  Some get thrown under the bus, but by and large, if both player and owner get paid, everyone plays nice and looks the other way.

Junior Seau, RIP.  Nobody dished hits like him, or stalked, hunted, and swarmed around the LOS and secondary like he did.  Guess what?  Evidently, no one is supposed to.  If it looks superhuman, it is.

Fri, 01/18/2013 - 11:31 | 3166198 trav777
trav777's picture

you should see what they do to horses to get them to look and run like that

Fri, 01/18/2013 - 12:29 | 3166430 francis_sawyer
francis_sawyer's picture

Football = TORADOL for the horses ~ those doped up nags wind up in the 'patty' section of yor local Tesco...

Fri, 01/18/2013 - 11:15 | 3166064 DaveyJones
DaveyJones's picture

Congress and the Executive use that very same list but do not believe in the last item and substitute with "blame terrorists"

Fri, 01/18/2013 - 09:57 | 3165776 Cojones
Cojones's picture

The people are always the problem.

Fri, 01/18/2013 - 09:52 | 3165778 XtraBullish
XtraBullish's picture

Long Live Lance! Remember The Portrait of Dorian Gray? Lance is Dorian and the portrait is Lloyd Blankfein.

Fri, 01/18/2013 - 10:36 | 3165961 daccord
daccord's picture

does opium and suicide corelate with coke and call girls? 

Fri, 01/18/2013 - 09:53 | 3165779 mvsjcl
mvsjcl's picture

Well, I did spot "Floyd" in there, right next to "good." But I couldn't find "Pink."

Fri, 01/18/2013 - 09:53 | 3165780 Gtinkham
Gtinkham's picture

Professional sports = doping

Fri, 01/18/2013 - 10:01 | 3165811 HardAssets
HardAssets's picture

t.v. sports fans = dopes


yeah, I used to waste my time & attention on this stuff too.

Then again, I did feel compelled to read this 'story'. So, I'm not completely cured yet.

Fri, 01/18/2013 - 12:07 | 3166337 secret_sam
secret_sam's picture

Yep, and we pretend to be surprised that people don't know more about how the Fed least you know, and knowing's half the battle.

Fri, 01/18/2013 - 16:02 | 3167259 samcontrol
samcontrol's picture

the tour is way more than being a sports fan, it is a national event . It is more than that, like a carnaval in your sole, an experinece of a lifetime(only carnaval in Olinda would top it), maybe tou should plan a trip and experience it, it passes thru Corsica this year... meet you there.. if wiffy is hot we can do a little switch,,, mine is a bomshell.

they have great food, wine and party instead of shitty hotdogs and a walk back to the parking lot.

Fri, 01/18/2013 - 15:55 | 3167236 samcontrol
samcontrol's picture

cool somebody got it.

Lance Made me jump up and down in my living room for years,,
thank you LANCE guys lost it... go back to notre dame/alabama for entertainment

Thank you for internet sports betting, way easier than the market...

Thank you to whomever thought that could be a matchup..

on top of THAT i'm FRench. , ironic i say....

Fri, 01/18/2013 - 09:53 | 3165781 mick_richfield
mick_richfield's picture

Let me know when Obama schedules an appearance on her show to tell us what his name is and where he was born.

Fri, 01/18/2013 - 09:58 | 3165799 mick_richfield
mick_richfield's picture

And who paid for his Nobel Peace Prize.

Fri, 01/18/2013 - 10:06 | 3165828 HardAssets
HardAssets's picture

Except her audience would likely think (that is ape what theyve been told)  "its just prejudice . . . a prez should be able to be born anywhere. We're one big global family."

Fri, 01/18/2013 - 09:55 | 3165782 francis_sawyer
francis_sawyer's picture

Go on Oprah... Cry... Chicks will fawn over you & toss you their hotel room keys...

Fri, 01/18/2013 - 09:54 | 3165783 China
China's picture

We could not find the words sorry or apologize. Why did the Tylers ask to look for them when they do not exist.

Fri, 01/18/2013 - 09:59 | 3165795 francis_sawyer
francis_sawyer's picture

How about "steroids", "Hgh", "blood doping"?... Where are those on the word cloud?


"sorry" & "apologize" ARE on the cloud... "Sorry", as in I'm "sorry" I got caught & lost all my sponsorships...

Fri, 01/18/2013 - 10:05 | 3165823 Dr. Engali
Dr. Engali's picture

Look might have to put in a little effort but they are there. Do you know what a word cloud is? Maybe starting with finding out the answer and that will help you understand why Tyler asked you to look for them.

Fri, 01/18/2013 - 10:09 | 3165845 pods
pods's picture

Don't take it too hard. I didn't see them at first. I had to blow it up.

I really don't care if he is sorry.  Or gay, alive, etc.


Fri, 01/18/2013 - 10:18 | 3165871 mayhem_korner
mayhem_korner's picture



I would be interested if he was genuinely sorry, remorseful, repentant, etc.  The reality is he's about as far from "sorry" as he is from credible.

Fri, 01/18/2013 - 11:05 | 3166072 Cap Matifou
Cap Matifou's picture

Psychopaths (4 of every 100) have no remorse, no feelings, can't give shit about other people's fate, but can say nice words, how much it "hurts" them, how much they "love" something or somebody. All your politicians and many so called stars are soulless psychopaths. They can recognise each other without words in a crowd. They think they are a superior species, and we are just dumb talking animals to be lied to, robbed and sent into insane wars to cull the population.

Fri, 01/18/2013 - 11:13 | 3166074 DaveyJones
DaveyJones's picture

I've never told anyone but in my wilder years,  I was etc.  Abbreviations are such a poor substitute for the truth. 

Fri, 01/18/2013 - 11:39 | 3166233 pods
pods's picture

Would it better please thee if I were to use yada yada yada?


Maybe I should just leave it as:
I don't care.


Fri, 01/18/2013 - 10:33 | 3165940 Chump
Chump's picture

I'll bet if they were trade secrets or copyrighted technology you could find 'em.

Fri, 01/18/2013 - 09:59 | 3165784 Mercury
Mercury's picture

In other news, we look forward to Lance's rise to the ranks of primary dealer prop trader.


 ...or front man for the new Spitzer/Corzine hedge fund: Wheelin', Dealin' & Stealin'.

Fri, 01/18/2013 - 10:19 | 3165880 semperfi
semperfi's picture

or:  Dopin' -  Ropin'  -  &  Hopin'

Fri, 01/18/2013 - 10:39 | 3165979 Mercury
Mercury's picture

Formerly:  E pluribus unum.

Fri, 01/18/2013 - 10:00 | 3165785 NuYawkFrankie
NuYawkFrankie's picture

Re Lance Armstrong

Why keep re-cycling this story?

Are you being strong-armed into doing so?

Anyhow, give us a BRAKE - it's WHEELY starting to get annoying!

Fri, 01/18/2013 - 10:01 | 3165807 HD
HD's picture

Hey give him credit. It took a ball to do what Armstrong did.

Fri, 01/18/2013 - 10:05 | 3165826 Zenseless
Zenseless's picture

In the cycling world, he is definitely the low man on the scrotum pole.

Fri, 01/18/2013 - 10:14 | 3165827 NuYawkFrankie
NuYawkFrankie's picture


THen again, he's now not as nutty as most

But, Armstrong - and this is where the rubber meets the road - now has a mountain to climb.

As long as there's no back-pedalling and he's pumped-up enuf, he can lance this boil once and for all.

I have SPOKEn.

Fri, 01/18/2013 - 12:08 | 3166343 mick_richfield
mick_richfield's picture

Hey, stop needling the poor guy.


Fri, 01/18/2013 - 12:19 | 3166384 mick_richfield
mick_richfield's picture

Puns are the lowest form of humor known to man.

And, man, we know some pretty low forms of humor.

Take the president ... please!


Actually, I would like to propose to Sacrilege and Tyler:   let's have a new Captcha!   Except it's an essay question.

Please finish the following joke, in 100 words or less.  Short words.

"Volcker, Greenspan, and Bernanke walk into a bar."

Then you post the result, and if the green-to-red ratio is higher than 5, the newbie gets in.  ( We all show him the Big Theta tattoos on our forearms, like that scene from Kung Fu... )

Yes by golly, that's what this site needs.


Fri, 01/18/2013 - 09:54 | 3165787 negative rates
negative rates's picture

Libor scandal, you been LANCED!

Fri, 01/18/2013 - 09:59 | 3165789 Smegley Wanxalot
Smegley Wanxalot's picture

Does anyone actually care if Armstrong is alive or dead? Or Dope-rah Windbag, for that matter?


Is there any relevance to our lives for either of these two idiots?

Fri, 01/18/2013 - 10:16 | 3165869 krispkritter
krispkritter's picture

She's trying to save her network. There was some reporting that she was 'doping' her ad revenue up big time for this. More distraction for the masses...

Fri, 01/18/2013 - 10:30 | 3165927 Michelle
Michelle's picture

I agree, makes no difference to me what these people do. But in the minds of many people, Lance Armstrong was an inspiration, a pinnacle of hope and strength, a modern-day hero that overcame health issues and personal challenges.

In the end it's about looking for heroes in our society, those infallable brave souls that conquer all and serve as mentors in a troubled world. When these heroes fall on their swords, it crushes our hopes and dreams that the impossible isn't possible and what was reality is now just a warped and twisted illusion. So we begin looking for new heroes, those that demonstrate courage, persistence, excellence...and find there are none. All our dreams are shattered, until another one finally surfaces, undoubtedly in a global leadership position, that has endless and unhampered power, that can bury and hide into eternity their dirty laundry. HE is the ONE they say, and behold, he is POTUS.

Fri, 01/18/2013 - 09:55 | 3165790 Dr. Engali
Dr. Engali's picture

I nominate him for fed chair. At least his lip won't quiver when he is lying.

Fri, 01/18/2013 - 09:59 | 3165803 jeff314
jeff314's picture

jewish people never lies...

Fri, 01/18/2013 - 10:08 | 3165840 WarHorse
WarHorse's picture

I'm new to this site and don't understand the preoccupation with bashing jews ..... 

Fri, 01/18/2013 - 10:11 | 3165851 Dr. Engali
Dr. Engali's picture

Unfortunately there seems to be a lot of it lately. It hasn't always been this bad.

Fri, 01/18/2013 - 10:18 | 3165873 retiringteach
retiringteach's picture

let me explain--jews as a gruop most accomplished in world-all these white trash trailor park zh losers jealous-now you knoww

Fri, 01/18/2013 - 11:42 | 3166244 DaveyJones
DaveyJones's picture

be careful naming your online club

Fri, 01/18/2013 - 10:32 | 3165938 DeficitAlchemist
DeficitAlchemist's picture

Calculate the total number of Jews as a percentage of the globalpopulation, then conduct a study of the cast of all the most destructive wealth destroying recent events and its players (Greenspan, Wolfowitz, Bob Diamond, Hank Paulson, Rubin, Glass Steagall destroyer, Bernanke, Blankvein etc..) and actions and the percentage of jews in I-Banks.

Not to mention the number of shady presidential handlers.

Tell me what you find, then realise, why some may feel, is why a particular ethnicity have an inconvenient habit always seem to be loitering at the scene of the crime.

BTW in the break up of the old USSR.. when the state assets were being sold off for a song instead of it being an open bid system it was done in a secretive behind doors meeting every one of the 6 attendee's were jewish bar the russian official. Dirty give away deals for the insiders, spells injustice and bent practice... keep wondering, whilst the Rothschild family scoops global assets on the cheap after our forthcoming reset day.

What you obsess about and fear most you attract... another genocide/holocaust?

Fri, 01/18/2013 - 11:48 | 3166271 markar
markar's picture

Hank Paulson is not Jewish

Fri, 01/18/2013 - 13:21 | 3166612 Cosimo de Medici
Cosimo de Medici's picture

It's simple.  Those who have failed miserably at life need someone to blame.  They also feel most comfortable sharing their projection with like-minded losers.  Zerohedge became the place where they all meet up and try to feel better about themselves.  Apparently it's kind of a public service for the site.  Of course that sort of group therapy solves nothing, and they get all hot and bothered when reminded of that.  They remain failures, and will always be failures, but the continual reacharounds from their fellow losers allow them to forget for a moment their own miserable existence.

Hope that helps. 

Fri, 01/18/2013 - 16:05 | 3167267 samcontrol
samcontrol's picture

they bash everything icluding their own heads.

Fri, 01/18/2013 - 10:13 | 3165859 retiringteach
retiringteach's picture

jeff314-i cant lie-you're an


Fri, 01/18/2013 - 10:27 | 3165919 fonzannoon
fonzannoon's picture

You know this thread has gone awry when retiring teach has two greenies.

Fri, 01/18/2013 - 10:01 | 3165809 GetZeeGold
GetZeeGold's picture



Not once did you see him studder before the big lie......I say get him in President.

Fri, 01/18/2013 - 09:56 | 3165792 Bahamas
Bahamas's picture

Since all athlets take dope..the winner is still the best one..If two contestants both take the same drugs is still the most gifted and dedicated of the two who wins in the end, so doping, doesn't really change shit.

Now, pass my decadurabolin please

Fri, 01/18/2013 - 09:56 | 3165794 Pants McPants
Pants McPants's picture

I honestly don't care whether or not Lance was/is a doper.  Governing committees should just let that stuff go - in the real world the coyote outsmarts the roadrunner every time.

Assuming taking "performance enhancing drugs" is voluntary/initiated by the athletes, I think sports would be a helluva lot more interesting if athletes were allowed to act as human guinea pigs.  An athletes' supplements would be listed right underneath his or her statistics. 

As for Lance, I respect him as an athlete.  He's easily among the top five most accomplished athletes in our generation.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to get my second cup of work enhancing substance.  Cheers.

Fri, 01/18/2013 - 10:14 | 3165804 Mercury
Mercury's picture

And really, who among us would not have loved to see Mickey Mantle on the juice?

Just as a baseline, this was probably accomplished while half drunk.

Fri, 01/18/2013 - 11:36 | 3166223 DaveyJones
DaveyJones's picture

I thought ZH was your work enhancing substance

Fri, 01/18/2013 - 09:57 | 3165796 gimli
gimli's picture

I can feel a new reality show coming from the ashes of this cyclical liar:

Let Lance Take you for a Ride

Fri, 01/18/2013 - 11:35 | 3166216 CoolBeans
CoolBeans's picture

Long ride....with no seat.

Fri, 01/18/2013 - 09:57 | 3165797 HD
HD's picture

Don't care. World is full of liars and cheats.

When Ben confesses to Oprah now there's a word cloud I want to see.

Fri, 01/18/2013 - 10:01 | 3165808 Chuck Walla
Chuck Walla's picture

Ride, Sally, Ride!

Forward Peloton!

Fri, 01/18/2013 - 10:08 | 3165810 fonzannoon
fonzannoon's picture

I can't attach it but on CNBS website are the fast money meatheads talking about German's gold move. The best part is at the end when the slimy haired one says "gold is not backed by anything, not mortgages, nothing". Tremendous.

Fri, 01/18/2013 - 10:08 | 3165842 HD
HD's picture

"Fast Money" might as well be an hour broadcast of a trained chicken pecking at a giant "BUY" button that lights up and delivers food pellets as a reward.

Same intellect at work on CNBC across the board. In other news, "the new normal" is over - world fixed.

Fri, 01/18/2013 - 10:14 | 3165862 fonzannoon
fonzannoon's picture

2 of the meatheads were playing up the germany they played spooky halloween music in the backround and called them conspircay theorists and then finished with the gold backed by nothing speech. I hope that someone is keeping these vids in a vault somewhere...

Fri, 01/18/2013 - 10:20 | 3165891 HD
HD's picture

God help any of these people if they ever had to get a real job that doesn't including lying and leeching off society. QE is nothing but a gold plated EBT card...

Fri, 01/18/2013 - 10:50 | 3166019 negative rates
negative rates's picture

Wit a timer on it.

Fri, 01/18/2013 - 10:15 | 3165864 Dr. Engali
Dr. Engali's picture

Are you kidding me? What an baffoon, that greaseball is as ridiculous as he looks.

Fri, 01/18/2013 - 10:21 | 3165890 fonzannoon
fonzannoon's picture

I wish I was kidding you. That's where we are at apparently.

Fri, 01/18/2013 - 10:22 | 3165893 rehypothecator
rehypothecator's picture 


She might be easier on the eyes but has the same vacuum within.  

I'd like to see the other video, if anyone can link it.  They will become collector's items some day.  

Fri, 01/18/2013 - 10:24 | 3165901 fonzannoon
fonzannoon's picture

Go to their homepage. The "top videos" are on the right. It's rght there.

Fri, 01/18/2013 - 14:43 | 3166941 Matt
Matt's picture

To be fair, she seems to be quoting/paraphrasing someone named "Todd Hirsh", not expressing her own opinion.

Fri, 01/18/2013 - 10:05 | 3165821 GeezerGeek
GeezerGeek's picture

What Lance Armstrong did was illegal, but he needed to cheat to overcome natural deficiencies. Sounds like that Corzine guy to me, or almost any politician I can think of. At least what Armstrong, Bonds, Clemens, Sosa et al did does not affect me personally. What the illegal-drug-using president does has the capability of affecting me personally.

The Armstrong story is another red herring, inflated to divert the miniscule attention spans of the sheep away from matters that are really important. Think bread and circuses.

Besides, it's simply not fair that some athletes are more talented or capable than the rest of us. We need the government to do something to make us all equally capable of earning megabucks as an athlete. Fairness demands it!

Fri, 01/18/2013 - 10:06 | 3165830 GetZeeGold
GetZeeGold's picture



Bread and cycling.

Fri, 01/18/2013 - 10:06 | 3165829 Spastica Rex
Spastica Rex's picture

Winners don't do drugs, CHAMPIONS do!

Fri, 01/18/2013 - 10:07 | 3165836 Dr. Engali
Dr. Engali's picture

I thought CHAMPIONS ate Wheaties.

Fri, 01/18/2013 - 10:11 | 3165849 fonzannoon
fonzannoon's picture

Lance is a failure. No lying stamina at all. Clemens went in front of the Supreme Court (right?). He is the real deal. He even threw some scoreless innings in the minors at 50yrs old just to put some icing on the cake. Lance is a sideshow. A turd.

Fri, 01/18/2013 - 11:20 | 3166131 Spastica Rex
Spastica Rex's picture

Precisely. Look what Michael Phelps accomplished - and his drugs weren't even performance enhancing.

Fri, 01/18/2013 - 16:08 | 3167275 samcontrol
samcontrol's picture

wrong ... many swimmers "need" to smoke. Most have add.

Fri, 01/18/2013 - 11:24 | 3166154 DaveyJones
DaveyJones's picture

champions eat genetically modified wheat

Fri, 01/18/2013 - 10:20 | 3165883 krispkritter
krispkritter's picture

Winners go home and fuck the prom queen.

Fri, 01/18/2013 - 10:09 | 3165843 SmoothCoolSmoke
SmoothCoolSmoke's picture

All these people "feeling sorry" this morning for Armstrong. (Today Show, local sports talk radio, etc, etc. etc).  Nobody "feels sorry' for Barry Bonds.

What a racist country America is.

Fri, 01/18/2013 - 10:12 | 3165855 fonzannoon
fonzannoon's picture

and even less people feel bad for Bonds trainer, the white guy...who was the only person out of all these ass clowns to spend any time actually in jail.

What a rascist country america is.

Fri, 01/18/2013 - 10:45 | 3165997 f16hoser
f16hoser's picture

The biggest "Racists" in this country is sitting in the White House. Illigally i might add.

Fri, 01/18/2013 - 11:50 | 3166273 jcaz
jcaz's picture

The "race card"-  really?  You can't compete in this forum without having to jack up the race card?

BTW- only BET is feeling sorry for Lance this am-  try watching a less-racist channel,  you might be surprised at the bitch-slapping Lance is getting

Fri, 01/18/2013 - 10:14 | 3165848 CaptianSpaulding
CaptianSpaulding's picture

I thought Louis Armstrong passed away.

Fri, 01/18/2013 - 10:12 | 3165857 caimen garou
caimen garou's picture

who is lance armstrong? and why should I give a rats ass about this fool? and if he went on the obama winfrey show I know he is useless! 

Fri, 01/18/2013 - 10:18 | 3165876 CaptianSpaulding
CaptianSpaulding's picture

Isnt he the saxophone guy who performed What a wonderful world?

Fri, 01/18/2013 - 10:45 | 3165994 GetZeeGold
GetZeeGold's picture



He should have listened to the saxophone guy......deny, deny, deny.

Fri, 01/18/2013 - 16:11 | 3167282 samcontrol
samcontrol's picture

you could not accomplish a tenth of what he did on ten times the amount he took. genetically you are a gremlin compared to him.

Fri, 01/18/2013 - 10:13 | 3165858 izzee
izzee's picture

Too bad Eric Holder and the Justice Dept, Oprah, all the F%$ing Sports writers in AmeriKa don't pursue the Lies and Liars who destroyed actual LIVES, Homes, Savings, and Communities, with the vehemence  that they focus on Lance

But NAAAAA let's Crucify a Cyclist.


Non of the detractors could complete on day's worth of riding in even a totally flat surface bike race.



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