Meet Mike, The Most Radioactive Fish Ever From Fukushima

Tyler Durden's picture

Almost two years after the awful nuclear disaster occurred, a fish caught near Fukushima on Friday January 18th had a record-breaking level of radioactive contamination over 2500x the legal limit. TEPCO measured 'Mike the Murasoi' at 254,000 becquerels per kilogram (with the limit for edible seafood at 100 becquerels). As Le Monde reports, the previous record (caught on August 21st 2012) was a mere 25,800 becquerels/kg. As further precautions, TEPCO is installing new nets 20km around the Fukushima Daichi site to avoid highly contaminated fish gettig too far and being consumed by other species. While Mike's family are no doubt distraught (at him being caught and being so radioactive), it appears (somewhat disappointingly) that there is no apparent third eye, lazer fins, legs, or other 'expected' 'blinky' malformations.


Mike - the slightly crispy looking Marusoi...


Doesn't look anything like Blinky...

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sgorem's picture

and don't forget the Lexus Geiger, or the Infinity Mushroom Cloud, (it runs for ten years on a half pound of Plutonium and then you just toss it and replace. Sweet.......................)

The Second Rule's picture

(Options) Headrights. Rights up road arr on its own!

Need a better tagline.

EnslavethechildrenforBen's picture

Can you say "all U.S. steel comes from overseas and goes into the structure of every new building in america"? I wouldn't worry about the fish being radioactive.

The Second Rule's picture

Is that joke-resistant body armor you're wearing? Must be...

El Oregonian's picture

... Or that fine warm glow, after-dinner alcohol beverage known as "Naga-Sake" produced by a new company owned by USA businessmen connected to the government, and situated just on the outskirts of the Fukushima Prefecture... And... There new slogan is: "We gave up 'Critical' thinking, now we're into 'Critical' drinking". (sarc: off//

Sad state Japan finds itself in. Too bad their government, like ours, totally sucks and these criminals should be banished from the face of the earth (including their Deep Underground Military Bunkers).

H E D G E H O G's picture

*Death and Gravity* how apropo..............

H E D G E H O G's picture

I've never "jumped the fish" before. Maybe a few young ladies that maybe smelled like a fish, but no, can't recall any fish, but nevertheless, I can't be 100% on that.

sgorem's picture

you musta been down arrowed by a couple of fishy females:)

SafelyGraze's picture

"The truth is that much of the time, reporters are just like everyone else: They largely believe what they read in the papers and see on TV. So each successive journalist unconsciously relied on the last for confidence in what he or she was presenting to the public. And this story was one they wanted to believe."


nmewn's picture

"Oh look! They're recycling!" Diane Sawyer

(Eye roll)

PUD's picture

Make radioactive lemonade! Mike can be a fuel rod now along with the last bluefin tuna caught before extinction.

Alasdair's picture

Staying with the Simpsons theme: In Rod We Trust

HardlyZero's picture

Its time for a new marketing campaign...pre-cooked fish.  We cook them before we catch them, so all you have to do is eat and enjoy.  No oven or microwave required !   Infinite shelf-life (or 600,000 years).  If you can't find your food, just turn out the lights and the blue glow will help you find your meal.

LEGAL DISCLAIMER: if you get within 10 feet of this food product your life insurance will be eliminated and your spawn will have a 24th chromozome added, and a between 1-10 random birth defects which can not be determined at this time.  By eating the product you have certified you have read this disclaimer.   ENJOY this Soylent Food Product !

The Second Rule's picture

Bonzai should photoshop that one.

balolalo's picture

"...last bluefin tuna caught before extinction."

We are fucked.  

e_goldstein's picture

That's the trillion dollar tuna; and as a bonus, you CAN eat it.

Pooper Popper's picture

Bring me tasty fish

TIMBEEER's picture

Good idea. Let's drop Gollum off at the Bay of Fukushima. He'll take care of the fish problem.

Xibalba's picture

Just as they lied about subprime being contained, I'm sure the radiation is contained...until it's not.  

secret_sam's picture

    a fish caught near Fukushima on Friday January 18th had a record-breaking level of radioactive contamination over 2500x the legal limit.

Well I sure hope Mike's prosecuted to the full extent of the law.

nmewn's picture

Ummm, errr, ahhhhhh line me up some mutant fish for a photo-op!

Troll Magnet's picture

i wish it was our president instead of obullshitter-in-chief.

HardlyZero's picture

Was Mike weaponized with one of those evil g*ns ?

e_goldstein's picture

Yes, and then promptly sold to Mexican drug cartels.

apberusdisvet's picture

Now that both the Pacific and the Gulf are totally fucked from producing edible seafood, what's next?  A disaster in the Atlantic?

Schacht Mat's picture

If a radio active fish self cooks itself, is it still sushi?

Harlequin001's picture

No, it becomes McDonald's hamburger I think...

Miss Expectations's picture

Do they test fish destined to become cat food for radioactivity or corexit? 

Grandma's cat food dinner option looks worse than ever.

(NO sarc:  This is really terrible news)

francis_sawyer's picture

No ~ they just grind it up & feed it to the soldiers... So don't worry ~ your cat is safe [for now]...

Monedas's picture

2500 x legal limit and 1/10,000 x the remotest possibility of harming anyone with even 100 years of exposure !   I wouldn't eat that fish because it's ugly !  We need more radiation to accelerate genetic mutation .... because, we need people who understand Capitalism .... in all it's naked glory !

Bastiat's picture

I'd be happy to filet it for you.

francis_sawyer's picture

That fish doesn't look any worse than your average Lake Erie perch...

resurger's picture

yes ma'am...Can i have Fries with that , please!


gould's fisker's picture

It's only a matter of time before Godzilla breaks through the sea floor and wreaks havoc on Tokyo.

HardAssets's picture

Wish he'd swim to D.C. instead

e_goldstein's picture

I'd pay a silver dollar if Godzilla made his way to NYC and stepped on Mayor Mikey.

HardlyZero's picture

Uhhh...we must...move DC to Tokyo first to defend Tokyo !  Then there will be no Mike ability to attack Tokyo...we will have the strength of the world behind Tokyo and we will defeat them utterly !

The Gooch's picture

"The world is in trouble."


patb's picture

think he glows at night?

andrewp111's picture

In very short wavelengths he does. You just need the right kind of camera.