"The Federal Government Now Requires That We Ask You The Following Personal Questions"

Tyler Durden's picture

Welcome to Obamacare in action:

"The Federal Government now requires that we ask you the following personal questions. If we fail to ask these questions, we are subject to a fine."

or visually:

h/t @Shark_wahlberg

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Bananamerican's picture

get over that "emperor" shit....

TPTB own the slate top to bottom in any red/blue elction cycle....

They don't need no stinkin' emperor.

As to questionaires, treat 'em like telemarketers and baffle them with bullshit.

It's STILL "none of their damn business"

zhandax's picture

I prefer to look to Occam's razor on this one.  This year Jan 20th falls on Sunday.  The parasites can't avoid any work by attending a Sunday inauguration, so they are doing it again on Monday.

unrulian's picture

or if the actual results don't matter

meltdown's picture

The Master, Ron White "you can't fix stupid".

Not bad for a small town boy from texas

A Nanny Moose's picture

I cannot help but think about Marion Barry everytime someone advises that voting might somehow change things. The only change is the increment in the number of years we keep participating in the insanity.

Bendromeda Strain's picture

The only change is the increment in the number of years we keep participating in the insanity.

The changes start incrementally, and then come excrementally...

mendolover's picture

The article I read states that the Constitution requires that the POTUS AND VPOTUS must be sworn in on 1/20.  As if it matters to them what the Constitution requires!  Hahaha!


The article linked above says that the First Ladies family bible was used for the ceremony.  It did not ask how much dust had to be removed from it before it was usable.

SoCalBusted's picture

You write like the constitution matters to these people.

Moe Howard's picture

The real question:

Why is Chewbacca's new wig being called a "hair style" or "hairdo"?

The wig has the style, not Meeeshelll.

knukles's picture

The Messiah and His Mary cannot have fault.

agNau's picture

Do not apply for work at a major news network.

TWSceptic's picture

"I will be honoured to again stand on the Inaugural platform and take part in this important American tradition," Obama said.


Too bad he doesn't do the same regarding the constitution.

NoDebt's picture

Did he use the word "tradition"?  If so, it's an interesting choice of words.  Kinda makes it sound optional, like wiping your feet before you come indoors.  Nice to do, but nobody's going to go to jail if they don't.

Being sworn in as President is more than just a tradition.  It's like it's almost a Constitutional requirement or something!  Almost like if he didn't do it he wouldn't be the President the next 4 years.

Being Free's picture

The fucking inaugural ball is a "tradition";

The fucking parade is a "tradition";

Taking the oath of office is a confirmation of the surpremacy of the peoples constitution;

It will be defended!

Husk-Erzulie's picture

Someone took this amazing picture... crowds gather at dawn for Choomster inaugural.

salvadordaly's picture

That was freaking amazing! It's all starting to make sense now!

FiatFapper's picture

Speaking of swearing in, Chavez has apparently been moved to 'an underground bunker', newspeak for grave me thinks.

Even despots can now rule from 6ft under; their omnipotent benevolence must prevail.

HurricaneSeason's picture

He gets 4 years for each time he's sworn in and he's already received opinions from the Supreme Court and constitutional scholars. At the end of this term he will get 8 more years.

Harbanger's picture

I do solemnly swear that I will faithfully execute all of my enemies to the best of my ability,..  

-that's what he's really thinking.

XitSam's picture

What good is a kill list if you don't use it?  Nixon only had an enemies list. Piker.

All Risk No Reward's picture

The emperor is the office.  That's too complicated for the sheeple to understand.

piceridu's picture

"The two oath takings have been necessitated as the US constitution-mandated date of January 20 this year fell on a Sunday and historically, inaugural ceremonies are not held on Sundays because courts and other public institutions are not open. 

Therefore, this year, in accordance with the requirements of the US constitution, Obama and the Vice President Joe Biden will officially be sworn in on Sunday, January 20, 2013."

Since when did Obama or anyone in his administration give two shits about The Constitution? 

wally_12's picture

We are required to answer the question "Do you own gun(s)?. Do you keep them under lock?"

as part of annual training. The question is alsoa trick question as more than 50% of households own guns. The question is asked to see if you will comply with an answer. It is asked to see how deceitful you may be and a question mark for your employer. In my case, the Federal Government.


Bad Attitude's picture

If asked verbally, I'll avoid answering. If asked on a form subject to penalty of perjury, I'll answer truthfully - yes, I own guns. There are enough 4473 forms floating around (plus a new one yesterday), plus my CHL, to quickly verify that fact. No reason to get caught up in a trumped-up perjury charge. Let the socialist assholes know how many people are really armed - maybe it will scare the shit out of them.

Are my firearms under lock? Of course - locked in my house, locked in my car, and I don't have any minor children in my household. (Note, there may be specific state regulations regarding firearms storage when children are present in your household.) My car and house both have Fourth Amendment rights associated with them. (Note to readers in the US: NEVER consent to a search by law enforcement personnel, even if you believe you are innocent. Make them get a search warrant or otherwise perform the search without your consent.)

XitSam's picture

Never consent to a search.


Never talk to a cop.



The police can lie to you. It is a crime for you to lie to the police.

Dangertime's picture

Couldn't you just plead the 5th ammendment to these questions?  You would not want to incriminate yourself in the event of future criminal proceedings.



Bad Attitude's picture

No. The 5th applies to trials.

As to self incrimination, don't try to offer exculpatory statements. And, if law enforcement read you the Miranda Rights statement, it is time to SHUT-UP and get your own attorney.

Meatier Shower's picture

It's actually called a Miranda Warning.

A common misconception, but in fact it grants no rights.

It just reminds you of them.

ExpendableOne's picture

+10000 to this.  Be respectful, be quiet and make them either decide to search on their own or get a warrant.  If they think they have you, they'll search anyway.  Otherwise, they will be forced to either get a warrant or let you go.

tlnzz's picture

I will be writing: Refuse to answer.

john39's picture

i will not be going anywhere near their sick care system... 

OldPhart's picture

My standard answer:


TN Jed's picture

Still too passive for me.  "Go fuck yourself" will be mine.

OldPhart's picture

I like yours much better.  I'm adopting it.

Frozen's picture

Answer:   Unfortunate boating accident  

NumberNone's picture

How is your fine, my problem.  Take it up with the people fining you.

XitSam's picture

I refuse to answer that question pursuant to the Fifth Amendment of the U.S. Constitution.

kayl's picture

Answer: I can't make a legal determination of that matter.

After all, the gun was purchased by a legal/corporate fiction in all CAPITALS NAME, who has no eyes to see or ears to hear. 

Does the authorized representative have a gun? What is the definition of "have"? The authorized representative holds a gun in its possession, which was purchased by the corporate fiction. Does that holding constitute having?

The authorized representative can't be held accountable for the actions and liabilities of the principal when agency is clearly indicated on the contract.

Are you your corporate fiction?

TheFourthStooge-ing's picture


Do you own a gun?

What will your answer be?

July 5, 1998, 7:00AM

akak's picture

My answer:

"My US 'american' citizen eternal nature being such as 'american' can-kicking, offuscationalizing the forcing of the blame-placing to the exterior, monolizing the speeching means resulting in inability to self-ignite, in the throating of the mind in my 'american' middle class as king class consumptionalization to blob-up, and as a parangong of spreading US 'american' citizenism via the lightning-powered time-traveling flying rickshaw of Benjamin Franklin inventionalizing of US 'american' fabled past, being the crustiest bit of the mattering thing judiciously, alas, alas, three times alas, just have to bear with it."

Let them chew on that.

machineh's picture

John Roberts opinion: 'It's a tax, not a penalty.'

Your artful word salad represents how the constitution sounds to Roberts' diseased mind: 'parangong of king class consumptionalization to blob-up'

Make of it what you will. He did.

Whoa Dammit's picture

Have fun with it.

Answer it with this question: Do you?

Follow up with a lot of your own Oprah-like questions until they give up. (examples of follow ups: How does that make you feel? Are you sure you are doing the right thing? I am 100% behind your decision, but what about the rest of your family, what do they say? I like your hairstyle, it very flattering where do you get it cut? Have you lost weight?)

jumbo maverick's picture

That's a good one but I'm thinking about crying. Imagine when they start asking all the questions and one would just break out crying. That would totally disarm the questioner.
I should have thought of this the last time the census taker came around. Instead of them walking away thinking I was such a dick they would have felt bad for me.
Yeah I'm gonna work on crying. Imagine just blubbering right in the waiting room then getting all loud saying something like "I'm dying and you ask me all these personal questions, why are you tormenting me. I just wanted to see a doctor."
Maybe even fall out of your chair right onto the floor in the waiting room. What would they do with that?
Possibly piss my pants too and as I'm laying on the floor crying I could yell "look what you made me do I pissed my pants!"
What a doctors visit that would make.

Freddie's picture

The only thing positive that I have heard lately is Kim Schimtz aka kim.com from Mega is working on a internet encryption tool to encrypt all internet communications.

Ob-MAO and his thugs seized Kim's company and web sites and filed charges against him and his workers.  Looks like New Zealand is tired of being poddles for our Mullah.   Kim will probably never be extredited from NZ. 

F TV and F Hollywood because they are behind this and they love you know who.   Kim is so much smarter than the evil scum destroying Amerika.

Tompooz's picture

It's here. A bit overwhelmed by a million new subsribers..

Bloodstock's picture

Obviously the answer is not obvious. Definitions and terms are changing everyday as per the nosey bastard politicians who quiz you of your privacy, so what is tha answer? For instance consider the term "stakeholder." Ownership of land is now sequestured to the "parties of interest" rather than the actual mortgage holder or holder of deed. Then in reading that ownership is regarded only as a tenant, then it is clear to some that We The People don't own shit, so obviously the anwer is not obvious. Please enjoy the exploration, interpretation, and application of "ownership" as per the politicians responsible for same, reliving the same. Rather than espousing a blah, blah, blah to an uncaring nosey bastard, the best answer might possibly be,,,drum roll please,,,"no." Or better yet to answer the question with some other form of bullshit. Life is short, enjoy!

Freddie's picture

Keep watching TV and Hollywood's crap.  They support this and ObaMAO 110%

Your continued viewership helps keep you a serf.

I saw online a poll where Americans liked the NRA more than the Entertainment (akak propaganda) Industry.

Pull the plug on Operation Mockingbird.