"The Federal Government Now Requires That We Ask You The Following Personal Questions"

Tyler Durden's picture


Welcome to Obamacare in action:

"The Federal Government now requires that we ask you the following personal questions. If we fail to ask these questions, we are subject to a fine."

or visually:

h/t @Shark_wahlberg

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Sun, 01/20/2013 - 18:29 | 3171255 Frozen
Frozen's picture

Btw, who is "we"that is subject to penalties when they are the same enforcers of said "law"?

Sun, 01/20/2013 - 18:45 | 3171281 DaveyJones
DaveyJones's picture

Think of me as your special friend

not an uncle who's on the bend

just show us your drawers

now get on all fours

just the beginning and far from the end


Sun, 01/20/2013 - 19:42 | 3171373 Debt-Is-Not-Money
Debt-Is-Not-Money's picture

Just the tip, I promise!

/sarc off

Mon, 01/21/2013 - 08:03 | 3172308 Watauga
Watauga's picture

The govt already knows.  It just may not know that it knows.  It has unfettered access to the entirety of the internet, from email to websites to all the personal and financial information it contains.  The only question for the govt is how and when to retrieve it.  Those servers buried in Utah--become the target and those servers will supply all the information the govt needs to make you look like a terrorist or a psycho killer or anything they want.

Sun, 01/20/2013 - 15:10 | 3170878 max2205
max2205's picture

Makes cents peeps go to the dr more rhan wall mart

Sun, 01/20/2013 - 15:11 | 3170887 F. Bastiat
F. Bastiat's picture

Misinformation and disinformation are weapons the people can wield. Use them.

Sun, 01/20/2013 - 15:52 | 3170992 f16hoser
f16hoser's picture

I'm not going anywhere. They can run. I'm fighting!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sun, 01/20/2013 - 18:14 | 3171229 cranky-old-geezer
cranky-old-geezer's picture



This is exactly what I said would happen.   Obama will go thru doctors to get every gun owner diagnosed with some sort of mental disorder, it's recorded in Obama's new national medical database, then they lose their right to own guns.

See how Obama does an end run aroud the 2nd amendment? 

See how Obama turns doctors into govt agents?

Sun, 01/20/2013 - 20:27 | 3171446 Citxmech
Citxmech's picture

As a side benefit - if half the country refuses health care, the Medicare system may survive for a few more years. . .wouldn't hurt SS either if a bunch of us start dying early either.

Sun, 01/20/2013 - 23:43 | 3171868 agNau
agNau's picture

Dig deeper. He has turned CPA's into IRS agents.

Mon, 01/21/2013 - 14:20 | 3173282 oklaboy
oklaboy's picture


Sun, 01/20/2013 - 16:18 | 3171049 AetosAeros
AetosAeros's picture

Innocuous questions that may be asked, but will be taken seriously by the ‘reviewing’ agent in charge of whatever ‘healthcare’ facility you may have been subjected to:


1. What was the nature of your visit?


2. Are you currently, or have you previously taken (within the last 180 days) any prescribed medication by a licensed care giver?  Please name them-


3. Have you taken any non-prescribed medications (this includes supplements not approved by the FDA and foods not sold in stores, farmer’s markets, or public establishments) or illegal drugs within the last 90 days?


4. Have you experienced any sleep disorders or periods of confusion or depression?


5. Are you currently employed? If so, how long have you been with your employer? If not, how long have you been unemployed?


6.  Are the firearms in your home locked up and/or do they have federally approved trigger lock systems actively employed?


7. Have you ever been involved in a domestic violence situation?


8.  Are you a member of an authorized State or local militia, or have you served at least 180 days of Active Military Service (combined or continuous)?


9.  Did your current healthcare provider (who you are seeing today) conduct a complete vital statistic evaluation (heart rate, blood pressure, ear/nose/throat inspection) when you came in today? If not, explain in your own words why this was not done. (Please use a separate sheet for answers that do not fit on this line)______.


10. Do you or any immediate family member have any debilitating illness or injury which would require more than 2 medical visits a year?


11. Have your and your family been inoculated against the seasonal flu? How long ago? If not, in your own words, please explain why this important life saving measure has been missed.  (Please use a separate sheet for answers that do not fit on this line)______.


12. Do you have any questions or concerns about the quality of care provided at this facility? (Please use a separate sheet for answers that do not fit on this line)______.


13. In the event that any concerns answered above require addressing by the Medical Care and Oversight Committee for your region (please see FEMA regional allocation map), what is the best address and phone number to reach you at? (Please use a separate sheet for answers that do not fit on this line)______.


 So there you have it, it's coming, and these questions are just enough, when applied with the new DSM V standards, to have your medications prescribed, and then subsequently your guns, dignity, food storage, and bullion confiscated. The new normal.

Sun, 01/20/2013 - 17:17 | 3171136 koncaswatch
koncaswatch's picture

AA +1, that's a pretty scary pill to take.... couldn't you sugar coat it?

Sun, 01/20/2013 - 17:28 | 3171161 AetosAeros
AetosAeros's picture

Sugarcoat, or lube coated? I would offer that the easiest form would look like this:


1) Do you have a FEMA issued medical healthcare facility use card for expedited medical screening and processing for this region*? Circle one: Yes   No


*In the event of no, in order to adequately serve you and follow the applicable Federal regulatory statute governing your visit, the Affordable Care Act, Presidential Executive Order, and recent Constitutional changes approved by Congress; please visit- http://www.fema.gov/regional-operations to locate your nearest office within 14 calendar days of today's appointment. Failure to show in person with State issued identification could subject you to a fine of $25,000 and/or 5 years imprisonment. 


Sun, 01/20/2013 - 16:25 | 3171060 world_debt_slave
world_debt_slave's picture

In 2007 the US government stole over 200 ounces of sliver stored in a NORFED warehouse in Idaho and have not returned nor answered my letters for my stolen property back.

Sun, 01/20/2013 - 16:39 | 3171087 Pool Shark
Pool Shark's picture



You should have had it stored in your warehouse.


[If you don't hold it; you don't own it...]


Sun, 01/20/2013 - 18:08 | 3171223 MassDecep
MassDecep's picture

The Federal handlers know every answer to your question already. It is a matter of conditioning.

Sun, 01/20/2013 - 14:35 | 3170773 Silver Bug
Silver Bug's picture

The invasion of privacy and rights continues.



Sun, 01/20/2013 - 14:56 | 3170840 LongSoupLine
LongSoupLine's picture

The Constitution of the United States requires me to answer in this manner:

Fuck you Obama and your fascist fucking agenda you fucking Chicago political fucking crook.

Sun, 01/20/2013 - 15:22 | 3170906 vato poco
vato poco's picture

Yeah, thinking of The Constitution is usually a happy thing. OTOH, it doesn't actually say much about what you are or are not "required" to answer. 18 USC Sec 1001 sure as shit does, though. That's the one that makes it a felony - with prison time as an added bonus!! - a felony to "lie to a federal agent". ANY federal agent. FBI, IRS, Park Ranger, mailman.....they're oddly unspecific about that, so it's best to just assume ANY federal agent. Best of all, fedgov is the one that gets to decide if you lied or not! For example, if they ask you, "Did you do something wrong?" and you *truly believe* you didn't and say "Fuck no!", and they end up claiming you _did_........you're goin' to prison, esse!!! Yes, yes, thoughtcrime & all that. Write a letter to your congressman - that'll put a stop to it, no doubt.

Now then. Since the cocksuckers on the USSC ok'd Obamacare; and you just *know* Obamacare (sooner or later) is going to consider the doctors working under federal aegis to be "Federal Agents".......IANAL, but Vato STRONGLY recommends to his fellow ZH'ers that they do not lie to those questions. "No comment", si! "Lie", ay yi yi!!

I mean unless y'all trust those assholes, in which case carry on and best wishes.

Sun, 01/20/2013 - 17:00 | 3170972 koncaswatch
koncaswatch's picture

+1  I was told by a government agency medical practitioner a quote I'll never forget; paraphrasing: " Never tell me anything which you might later want to move under the umbrella of the Fith Amendment."

Words to live by when dealing with any bureaucrat.

Sun, 01/20/2013 - 15:12 | 3170876 Byte Me
Byte Me's picture


"Fuck that asshole."



But I prefer pink clam for my jollies.

Sun, 01/20/2013 - 15:29 | 3170937 abducens
abducens's picture

All physicians were offered a $40000 bribe by Obamacare, use health record software and collect info on patients that can be electronically transmitted to the US govt and you get the check. Dont and you will be penalized.

Sun, 01/20/2013 - 15:54 | 3171001 ATM
ATM's picture

Fuck the assholes who junked your comment too.

Sun, 01/20/2013 - 16:11 | 3171040 BadKiTTy
BadKiTTy's picture

Is that one of the questions! ;)

Sun, 01/20/2013 - 17:20 | 3171144 ToNYC
ToNYC's picture

How many penetrations have you accepted to date?

Sun, 01/20/2013 - 18:52 | 3171296 SaveTheBales
SaveTheBales's picture

Sure, no problem.  Got a warrant?

No?  How unfortunate.  There'll be a fellow by shortly with one, trust me.  While we're waiting, you can prepare me that financial statement we'll be needing.

Sun, 01/20/2013 - 20:10 | 3171417 Muddy1
Muddy1's picture

I would like to know what the questions are

Sun, 01/20/2013 - 21:33 | 3171602 franzpick
franzpick's picture

My unalienable 2nd amendment rights require me to ask whether you understand the consequences of attempting to impose tyrannical rule on an otherwise free people...

Sun, 01/20/2013 - 14:25 | 3170730 chunga
chunga's picture

What the fuck are the questions?

Sun, 01/20/2013 - 14:35 | 3170777 A Lunatic
A Lunatic's picture




1) Do you swear undying devotion and obedience to the His Imperial Majesty, B.H. Obama?

2) Do you own any firearms, gold, rice, or other instruments of Terrorism?

3) Do you like my fist shoved in your ass?

Sun, 01/20/2013 - 14:41 | 3170797 surf0766
surf0766's picture

Fuckn' great !

Sun, 01/20/2013 - 15:40 | 3170957 knukles
knukles's picture

No, the correct answer to #3 is "I'm not sure".

Mon, 01/21/2013 - 09:51 | 3172426 exi1ed0ne
exi1ed0ne's picture

Therer are FOUR lights

Sun, 01/20/2013 - 15:07 | 3170872 diogeneslaertius
diogeneslaertius's picture

@A Lunatic spit take that was so good :D

2) Do you own any firearms, gold, rice, or other instruments of Terrorism?

Sun, 01/20/2013 - 19:32 | 3171356 HedgeCock
HedgeCock's picture

yes, a pink plastic gun that blows bubbles

i'm a little girl, 5 years old


Sun, 01/20/2013 - 19:48 | 3171390 mt paul
mt paul's picture

candy little girl

i'm from Fema

Sun, 01/20/2013 - 19:54 | 3171402 HedgeCock
HedgeCock's picture

Fema?  i heard you guys ate all the candy. ((



Sun, 01/20/2013 - 14:45 | 3170809 tom a taxpayer
tom a taxpayer's picture

What makes matters even worse is the federal govt using "innocent" third party providers to do the govt's dirty work. And every year or two the govt can issue new regulations increasing the number and intrusivess of the questions that third party providers must ask you. 

Sun, 01/20/2013 - 15:04 | 3170860 SpeakerFTD
SpeakerFTD's picture

They would be more "innocent" if they hadn't helped draft the legislation.

Fascism is a partnership of industry and government after all.

Sun, 01/20/2013 - 15:11 | 3170886 CoolBeans
CoolBeans's picture

I know of certain folks in the medical profession who refuse to comply and think its all b.s. -- and they'll tell you so.  So, while the paperwork may get done with questions not answered...these are the folks that will the bare minimum to look as if they are complying...God love 'em.

Sun, 01/20/2013 - 16:12 | 3171042 thadoctrizin
thadoctrizin's picture

As I understand it... I will have tos ask about and report on 14 different health parameters. Smoking, alcohol consumption, BMI, meds, etc. responses are coded and submitted with the bills for service. No codes = no pay. FYI there is a code for no answer, patient noncompliant. Last year physicians were relatively highly incentivized to conform, this year less so, next year a small fine, 2015 big fines. My take...data collection for socialized single payer healthcare system in which your monthly contribution will be in accordance with your health status as reported.

Sun, 01/20/2013 - 19:37 | 3171364 nmewn
nmewn's picture

Well, the good thing is next year the FINE for not having health insurance coverage with a private corporation under ObamaCare is only $95.00.

Now how weird (but true) is that statement I just made.

The government will fine you for not entering into a private contract.

Sun, 01/20/2013 - 20:22 | 3171441 Just Ice
Just Ice's picture

That's because Obamacare is a welfare subsidy/crony regulation passed for the benefit of insurance companies...nothing to do with an individual's actual health and well-being. 

Sun, 01/20/2013 - 22:00 | 3171663 A Lunatic
A Lunatic's picture

I hope they're open to barter, 'cause that's only three mags worth of .308. They can collect at high noon and six hundred yards...........

Sun, 01/20/2013 - 22:45 | 3171742 nmewn
nmewn's picture

I'm with ya...I have a very long driveway.

Sun, 01/20/2013 - 15:14 | 3170892 cossack55
cossack55's picture

The population of Germany in 1939 was roughly 80 million.  The number of snitches, Gestapo informers, Block Captains and stool pigeons was roughly 70 million.

The population of the US in 2013 is roughly 315 million. The number of "see something, say something" toadies and stool pigeons is _______ million.

Sun, 01/20/2013 - 16:40 | 3171091 Cathartes Aura
Cathartes Aura's picture

the self righteous love to take sides against the other'd.

Sun, 01/20/2013 - 17:00 | 3171113 TheFourthStooge-ing
TheFourthStooge-ing's picture


The population of Germany in 1939 was roughly 80 million.  The number of snitches, Gestapo informers, Block Captains and stool pigeons was roughly 70 million.

The population of the US in 2013 is roughly 315 million. The number of "see something, say something" toadies and stool pigeons is _______ million.

Jesus H. Christ! The questions include story problems with math?!

Sun, 01/20/2013 - 21:26 | 3171234 akak
akak's picture

"If Obama can shred the US Constitution from the left at the rate of ten freedoms per month, and the go-along-get-along Republicans in Congress can shred the Constitution from the right at nine freedoms per month, how long will it be before nine-tenths of the FEMA windowless boxcars with shackles are rolling west at 45 mph?

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