What Really Matters In Davos

Tyler Durden's picture




 

Think you've made it? Consider yourself the BSD in the room? Well, in Davos, only one thing matters and its about color; the color of your badge. From the holographic awesomeness of the elite badge that enable secret elevators (and handshakes) to the less-than-awesome base colors associated with the press that are both follower and enabler of this event; Bloomberg TV's Erik Schatzker, with his tongue somewhat buried in its cheek, exposes what really matters in Davos among the elite of the elite...

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Tue, 01/22/2013 - 13:25 | 3175880 Shizzmoney
Shizzmoney's picture

I'm surprised the hologram isn't in the shape of a dildo.

Tue, 01/22/2013 - 13:26 | 3175883 Say What Again
Say What Again's picture

Can Egan Jones make any comments regarding European junk?

 

Tue, 01/22/2013 - 13:34 | 3175920 knukles
knukles's picture

Davos:  The rich and powerful making excuses to continue Grand Theft Country predicated upon the premise of helping the little guy.

PS And a lot of great coke hookers food and booze

Tue, 01/22/2013 - 13:47 | 3175974 francis_sawyer
francis_sawyer's picture

Bunch of perverted frat boys dancing around in diapers & biting the heads off of chickens... Put Neidermeyer on it ~ he's a sneaky little shit...

Tue, 01/22/2013 - 13:54 | 3175996 john39
john39's picture

uncanny how emmanuel goldstein, err... muslim terrorists, never attack these davos type events...

Tue, 01/22/2013 - 13:57 | 3176010 francis_sawyer
francis_sawyer's picture

My guess is that for 360 days a year they have slaves digging huge underground bunkers beneath Davos & 4 days a year, these thieves go there & dump all their gold into it...

Tue, 01/22/2013 - 14:04 | 3176035 Dr. Engali
Dr. Engali's picture

They have their"gun free zone" signs posted everywhere keeping them away.

Tue, 01/22/2013 - 17:26 | 3176792 FEDbuster
FEDbuster's picture

Now that was funny.

Plus, the Swiss are the highest armed per capita people in the world.  They have a true citizens militia.

Tue, 01/22/2013 - 14:09 | 3176062 WhyDoesItHurtWh...
WhyDoesItHurtWhen iPee's picture

  We are the Federalis.

  Then where are your Badges?

  Badges, what badges.  We don' t need no stinkin badges.

Tue, 01/22/2013 - 17:48 | 3176958 gerry
gerry's picture

what a great flim.

Tue, 01/22/2013 - 14:02 | 3176030 seek
seek's picture

 

"Can Egan Jones make any comments regarding European junk?"

Actually, No, they can't. The limitations weren't just on US bonds. That just underscores how far off the rails things have gone.

Tue, 01/22/2013 - 13:28 | 3175895 slaughterer
slaughterer's picture

The only things that matter at Davos:

1.) the time of arrival of the oriental 17-year old girl masseuse before the morning coffee

2.)  the size of the breasts of the Russian waitresses at lunch

3.)  the type of female accompaniment that can be arranged during the 3pm nap.

4.)  the look of the refreshed batch of hostesses at 9:00pm to retire with early

Everything, except for inside tips, is not very important.  Even the badge color does not matter if 1-4 are all in line.  

Tue, 01/22/2013 - 13:33 | 3175916 suteibu
suteibu's picture

You seem to assume that these guys are only interested in females.  What makes you think they are not equally interested in the pool boy?

Tue, 01/22/2013 - 13:41 | 3175947 CrimsonAvenger
CrimsonAvenger's picture

...or the livestock available at the nearest farm?

Tue, 01/22/2013 - 13:46 | 3175964 ZippyBananaPants
ZippyBananaPants's picture

That is the fastest I have thrown out three consecutive green arrows: Russian waitress, pool boy, livestock!

Tue, 01/22/2013 - 16:23 | 3176657 toothpicker
toothpicker's picture

dito :)

Tue, 01/22/2013 - 14:40 | 3176205 Buckaroo Banzai
Buckaroo Banzai's picture

Livestock and pool boys are reserved for, hrrrrmmm, more intimate moments away from the hustle and bustle of Davos. The livestock tend to get in the way and shit on everything, and the pool boys in Davos are just a little too, hrrrrmmmm, superannuated, don't you know. Best to stick with the eastern european 17-year-old girls for the time being. Besides, the Albanian pimps get so, hrrrrrmmmm, cross, when their girls aren't, ahem, fully monetized for the occasion, as it were.

Tue, 01/22/2013 - 14:01 | 3176019 Never One Roach
Never One Roach's picture

I heard---vicious rumors of course---they delivered 8 dozen of the Love Dolls to various personages in Davos:

 

http://loneleeplanet.com/2009/03/japanese-love-dolls-taboo/

Tue, 01/22/2013 - 14:33 | 3176178 billsykes
billsykes's picture

14 is the new 17.

Tue, 01/22/2013 - 13:46 | 3175960 Anglo Hondo
Anglo Hondo's picture

It is a dildo, you are seeing it end-on, right down the eye as it were.

 

If the light is just right, it shows up in all its splendor - but only to 'those in the know'.

 

Tue, 01/22/2013 - 15:13 | 3176349 Theosebes Goodfellow
Theosebes Goodfellow's picture

~"Nine times out of ten it's an electric razor, but every once in a while...[whispers]...it's a dildo. Of course it's company policy never to imply ownership in the event of a dildo. We have to use the indefinite article "A dildo", never "Your dildo"."~

Tue, 01/22/2013 - 14:49 | 3176250 Ruffcut
Ruffcut's picture

Davos presprayed with fabreeze. So many assholes and the stink that goes with it.

Tue, 01/22/2013 - 14:04 | 3175892 Mercury
Mercury's picture

Nothing but fifty shades of fancy psycho sycophancy:

Guess where I’m wearing my “All Access” pass?
Come with me and we'll save the velvet rope for after the party.
I’m appointing you to my new bilateral commission on room service procurement.
There’s an ultra-exclusive event on human sex-trafficking starting in 10 minutes in room 943.

 

Davos throws off more heat than light.
ZH gets it right in black and white.

 

Tue, 01/22/2013 - 14:55 | 3176266 LeisureSmith
LeisureSmith's picture

Hope they come up with some awesome new proposal this year....Like, we need a 100 Quintillion more credit this year. Lets face it, their credit tolerance is mounting. Trillions is just barely getting this crowd half hard at this point.

Tue, 01/22/2013 - 13:29 | 3175900 Jim in MN
Jim in MN's picture

Here's what's important in Davos (to quote Johnny Rotten and Afrika Bambaataa):

 

This is a world destruction. Your life ain't nothing.
The human race is becoming a disgrace.
The rich get richer.
The poor are getting poorer.
Fascist, chauvinistic government fools.
People, Moslems, Christians and Hindus.
Are in a time zone still searching for the truth.
Who are you to think you're a superior race?
Facing forth your everlasting doom.

--Time Zone, 'World Destruction', best played by the masses at full volume during every Davos meeting

Tue, 01/22/2013 - 13:36 | 3175912 Banksters
Banksters's picture

QE 1 2 3 lite twist and  4 , Ltro 1, 2, efsf, Esm, Tarp, Fasb, BOE qe 1, 2, 3 4, Boj too many to count.

 

The fucking system is melting the fuck down due to the fraudulent nature of finance ,  financial products and corporate greed.   They know it, the informed non insiders know it, and the masses know it- foodstamp usage at all time high.

 

Meanwhile the Eurotards like Barroso, Junker, and Draghi say the worst is behind us.  The fuck it is.    

Tue, 01/22/2013 - 13:34 | 3175918 Squishi
Squishi's picture

gey gangbang

Tue, 01/22/2013 - 13:35 | 3175922 thataintnothin
thataintnothin's picture

good time to be a call girl/hooker will have a ton of business in davos

Tue, 01/22/2013 - 13:42 | 3175925 Dr. Engali
Dr. Engali's picture

That's funny "The most coveted badge is the shimmering white badge. It's for the cream of the elite"  followed by a picture of Bill Clinton

Tue, 01/22/2013 - 13:42 | 3175952 Inthemix96
Inthemix96's picture

My first thought there doc,

Bill clinton?  Is this the best we can muster?  No wonder we are going to hell in a hand cart.

Bill fucking clinton?  Fuck this, we really are doomed.

Tue, 01/22/2013 - 13:56 | 3175989 I am on to you
I am on to you's picture

Who else,would bring in the Mena snow,to the land known for the hole in the Cheese!Ups and the loop holes,not to forget,the tax ones,pardon me!

Tue, 01/22/2013 - 16:29 | 3176683 Panafrican Funk...
Panafrican Funktron Robot's picture

During Clinton's rule, we got:

NAFTA

GATT 94/WTO

Permanormal free trade with China

Gramm-Leach-Bliley

Bill is Darth Fucking Vader.

Tue, 01/22/2013 - 16:45 | 3176725 Panafrican Funk...
Panafrican Funktron Robot's picture

Not to mention, lesser but significant shit like the redefinition of the CPI (substitution method, burgers=steak) to mathfuck senior citizens, the Brady Bill (which was really a cover for NICS, which greatly increased Fed power over criminals/dissidents), the Omnibus Crime Bill which greatly expanded the Fed's ability to execute citizens, etc.

Tue, 01/22/2013 - 13:37 | 3175931 Miss Expectations
Miss Expectations's picture

The top .0000001% identified by their backstage pass. Good Times.

Tue, 01/22/2013 - 13:43 | 3175949 ArsoN
ArsoN's picture

you mean i have to buy 2 bottles just to get in?

Tue, 01/22/2013 - 13:45 | 3175955 youngman
youngman's picture

You can bet they are cutting deals...playing out the next game for the upcoming year....a wink wink here and wink wink there.....all is good when you can just print money....is anyone there who is the gold represenitive..he is the guy with the rotton Onion hung around his neck...his pass

Tue, 01/22/2013 - 13:46 | 3175956 Overfed
Overfed's picture

If ever there was a place for a WMD.....

 

Hold on, there's a knock at my door.....

Tue, 01/22/2013 - 13:49 | 3175976 IamtheREALmario
IamtheREALmario's picture

The cabal is all big into stratification, creating idols to themselves and secrets ... they can keep Davos, their secret little schemes and everything that goes with it. They are not helping anything anyway.

Tue, 01/22/2013 - 14:50 | 3176251 AgAu_man
AgAu_man's picture

But you KNOW that what worries some of them and scares the others, is the power of The BRIC.

They therefore scheme on how to deal with The BRIC. Especially the RC portion.

Must go after China, must go after Russia!

Tue, 01/22/2013 - 13:55 | 3175985 Cognitive Dissonance
Cognitive Dissonance's picture

From an upcoming article of mine.


"To expand upon the ‘priest’ analogy a bit more, not only must the lower level financial professionals buy in and be in sync with the alternative reality ‘story’, so too must the upper level of the socioeconomic hierarchy. Faith and belief in nonsensical 'truths' is difficult to maintain in isolation, especially when it contradicts our inner knowing or ‘just’ our common sense. As well, those who are not reinforced from time to time tend to stray a bit and begin to lose faith, particularly when there are locals with pitchforks and torches outside the main gate. Thus we see the real reason behind high level financial and political conferences such as the gathering of the faithful at Davos, Switzerland. Each level of the hierarchy must regularly gather in order to resynchronize to the alternative reality and to cement the money meme. This is vital if the farce is to be over powering and long lasting."

Tue, 01/22/2013 - 14:37 | 3176202 Things that go bump
Things that go bump's picture

I thought it was so they could celebrate a black mass and sacrifice a child to renew their power.  

Tue, 01/22/2013 - 14:45 | 3176230 Buckaroo Banzai
Buckaroo Banzai's picture

oh yeah, that too.

Tue, 01/22/2013 - 16:27 | 3176672 toothpicker
toothpicker's picture

Please post a link to the article when ready thx

Tue, 01/22/2013 - 22:42 | 3177694 chindit13
chindit13's picture

As always, nice piece of writing, and as almost always, I'll take exception.

Davos is actually about two, maybe three things:

1)  Make money....think of the organizers as American Express' Black Card (and now even White Card) Division.  The Black Card is by "Invitation Only" and costs $1000/year, just to get the exact same useful services one gets with the lowly Green Card.  The extras are rather meaningless.  One gets a "concierge" to help him take care of "the little things", like DHL'ing a package to his wife when he misses her birthday  Nobody, or few, use these extras.  Holders are merely buying cache.  Pull out the Black Card to pay for lunch, and make sure everybody sees it.  Davos organizers sell cache, too, and those specal access badges can be bought.  Even Lloyd wants to hang around with the Bills (Gates and Clinton).  Ka-ching!  Cash register rings for the Organizer.

2)  See and be seen....once the net worth pops mid nine figures, and all the toys have been bought, lots of people want to feel they are "somebody", and attending these galas (along with Bilderberg and Bohemian Grove) allows the attendee to feel he made it.  Folks get together and compare Gulfstreams and Rivas, talk about the Montana or Colorado ranch or the preserve in Tanzania they bought, or the Ferrari SWB California they just picked up at auction.  This is where the typical ZH'er really gets it dead wrong.  There is no plan of the elite, no collective control;  there is only competition and schadenfreude when one's "good friend" fails.  One of this year's gossips is going to be about Ackman vs. Loeb.  Oh, and when you get back to the office, for the first week your phone calls are peppered with, "Sorry, I'm a little behind...got all caught up in Davos last week.  Were you there?"

3) Get some trading ideas...because everybody thinks somebody else knows more than him, but "damn if I am going to let THAT guy beat ME!".  So everybody listens, eavesdrops, elicits like a spy, and makes any idea that sounds good his own.  You want to get invited back next year, don't you?  And not like John Paulson with egg on your face, right?  Better have a good year, then.

It's all really very simple and very very human, albeit rich human.  Pants go on one leg at a time, even if they are made of vicuna.

Tue, 01/22/2013 - 13:52 | 3175990 linrom
linrom's picture

Good one Bloomberg! Now tell me please, what color badge does Michael Bloomberg wear and others like him.  If Davos is like a racetrack, its not the horse, jockey, trainer, breeder that matters. It's the owner who gets the money and the trophy, the horse gets his name in the paper just like the politicians.

Tue, 01/22/2013 - 13:53 | 3175994 SmoothCoolSmoke
SmoothCoolSmoke's picture

And Al Kayda is busy dick'n around in Algeria when this is the spot to really get busy.

Tue, 01/22/2013 - 13:55 | 3176003 suteibu
suteibu's picture

What?  And cut off their supply of funds?

Tue, 01/22/2013 - 13:57 | 3176006 Gamma735
Gamma735's picture

All these elite are going to find that God is not impressed with them, although the devil will have a special place reserved for them in hell.

Tue, 01/22/2013 - 13:57 | 3176015 Fix It Again Timmy
Fix It Again Timmy's picture

"I've killed Taliban, have you?"  The latest "IN" thing among the elites...  What a bunch of sick fuks....

Tue, 01/22/2013 - 14:14 | 3176081 Inthemix96
Inthemix96's picture

Hewitts son.....

The inbred ginger cunt was posing on an apache pretending his warped brain even knew what he is talking about.

This fucking inbred half-German, fully retarded cunt wouldnt even know what side his bread is buttered, and flying a fucking attack chopper?  Pour me another Jeeves, one has been sitting on a hunk of peoples metal today, thinking one knows what it is, what what old chap, get me sister eh.....

Fucking ginger hewitt?  I will place a ten pound bet right here this fucking imbecile cannot tie a shoe lace, never mind figure out how to get into an attack chopper.  Any takers?

Fucking over paid, dole scum, peodophile fuckers.

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