The Business Cards Of The Rich, Famous, And Infamous

Tyler Durden's picture


Originally posted at Flavorwire,

In today’s climate of cell phone contacts, Facebook and LinkedIn, business cards may be becoming a thing of the past. Then again, they can still say a lot about you. Whether boilerplate or highly designed, staid or comical, FlavorWire has gathered twenty business cards of fascinating and famous people from Abraham Lincoln to Lady Gaga, Einstein to Lady Gaga, and from Houdini's triangular card to Marc Zuckerberg's "I'm CEO, Bitch!"



[via Fuck Yeah Manuscripts]

[via Streets of Salem]

[via PSPrint]

[via Platypus Comix]

[via Shrapnel]

[via As We Go Along]

[via Pinterest]

[via PSPrint]

[via Letterheady]

[via Designer Daily]

[via Top Design Mag]

[via Fuck Yeah Manuscripts]

[via Top Design Mag]

[via Shrapnel]

[via Lady Gaga]

[via Bit Rebels]

[via Top Design Mag]

[via Top Design Mag]

[via Bit Rebels]

[via Top Design Mag]

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Wed, 01/23/2013 - 21:17 | 3181395 unrulian
unrulian's picture

hmmm Barack isn't answering...

Wed, 01/23/2013 - 21:22 | 3181409 unrulian
unrulian's picture

no one answered on Sept 11, 2012 either

Wed, 01/23/2013 - 22:58 | 3181638 Zer0head
Zer0head's picture

Henry, are you moonlighting at ZH? excellent article on business cards

oh fck we are doomed

Wed, 01/23/2013 - 21:25 | 3181419 alfred b.
alfred b.'s picture


    ....he only answers the green phone from GS!


Thu, 01/24/2013 - 00:00 | 3181747 Xue
Xue's picture

Don't forget the obamaphone!

Wed, 01/23/2013 - 21:37 | 3181453 ACP
ACP's picture

Mark's VM said, "I'll get back to your punk ass after I get back from yo' mama's house!"

Not very customer-friendly, is he?

Thu, 01/24/2013 - 01:46 | 3181897 AgAu_man
AgAu_man's picture

Yes, MZ does seem like a world-class "circle with depth". Or is "...with height"?

Thu, 01/24/2013 - 03:20 | 3181971 clara-to-market
clara-to-market's picture

My mother has a business card.

It says, Eat Shit and Die.

She bought it at a joke shop.

No kidding.

Wed, 01/23/2013 - 21:17 | 3181397 Yen Cross
Yen Cross's picture

 John Corzine, CFO

  Madoff  Enterprises. LTdead.

Thu, 01/24/2013 - 00:15 | 3181772 taniquetil
taniquetil's picture

Huh. I always thought Corzine was employed at Vapor Fund Portfilio Management LP

Wed, 01/23/2013 - 21:21 | 3181404 Neethgie
Neethgie's picture

my buisiness card is coloured bone and the lettering is something called sillian rail

Wed, 01/23/2013 - 21:30 | 3181432 jonjon831983
jonjon831983's picture

You gotta be careful who you show your biz card to, might get the wrong kinda attention.  Sometimes it's hip to be square.

Wed, 01/23/2013 - 21:43 | 3181468 secret_sam
secret_sam's picture

He just wants to fit in.

Wed, 01/23/2013 - 21:30 | 3181433 electricgorilla
electricgorilla's picture

It's like that scene from American psycho but this is real life

Wed, 01/23/2013 - 21:32 | 3181439 fonzannoon
fonzannoon's picture

Dear Diary,

I lost my ass on Apple again today. WTF! seriously! I hate to admit it but I think there is something wrong here. All the analysts keep pounding the table on this company and I know they are only human, but I almost sense something sinister about the whole thing. I know I know I am letting my emotions get the better of me. The good news is my 401(k) is dollar cost averaging me into the market, and taking emotion out of at least some of my investments.  Well it's off to read barrons and drown my sorrows!

 - stupid fuckin sheep


Wed, 01/23/2013 - 21:32 | 3181440 zorba THE GREEK
zorba THE GREEK's picture

You can burn Stinkin Lincoln's card. That bastard deserved tghe bullet to the head.

First U.S. president to send troops to kill over 1,000,000 Americans. And for what?

Were they a threat to the U.S.? Hell no, they were just fed up with the Federal

Government going too far and over-stepping the bounds of the Constitution.

They had joined the "Union" voluntarily, but when they wanted out because the 

Federal Government was abandoning their mandate, the South was attached at the

behest of the new Emperor; Abraham Lincoln. Why? Because a few wealthy Northern businessmen 

didn't want to lose the excessive profits from the cotton and tobacco trade. Fuck Lincoln and

every president who would see Americans die for the benefit of their wealthy crones. 

Wed, 01/23/2013 - 22:48 | 3181609 RopeADope
RopeADope's picture

And I thought it was a war against British Bankers wanting to push massive debt loads onto America.So I take it if Americans took up arms against JPM and GS you wouldn't be joining?


Thu, 01/24/2013 - 01:02 | 3181844 lakecity55
lakecity55's picture

                                                         Andrew Jackson


                                                         Killer of British and their Banks

Thu, 01/24/2013 - 01:57 | 3181909 e_goldstein
e_goldstein's picture

a fuckin men.


Thu, 01/24/2013 - 11:12 | 3182501 Oldrepublic
Oldrepublic's picture

Sic Semper Tyrannis

Wed, 01/23/2013 - 21:36 | 3181445 Aurora Ex Machina
Aurora Ex Machina's picture

Tsk tsk tsk. <via Metafilter>

Obvious video. (Wait for it, HD deserves it)

More original. (Although wanky slant towards Graphic design)


Does anyone else remembering having to have plastic bound mini-folders to keep them all in? Oh... old style. When I burnt my father's effects, how many cards where there? The detrius of history, pre-the Computer boom.

Of course, the original.



Business cards always struck me as having a note of desperation to them. Only closers get coffee, apparently.

Wed, 01/23/2013 - 21:35 | 3181447 alfred b.
alfred b.'s picture



                                     LENNY BREUER

                                 Banker Apologist Inc.

                                   Phone: unlisted

                        Available solely to Bank Management




Wed, 01/23/2013 - 21:57 | 3181493 cowdiddly
cowdiddly's picture


                           JAMIE DIMON

                                      The rest is complicated

                                              and besides

                        Thats all you need know about banking


Thu, 01/24/2013 - 10:03 | 3182247 Translational Lift
Translational Lift's picture

                                    LENNY BREUER

                                 Banker Apologist Inc.

                                   Phone: unlisted

                                  Call Me PLEASE      212-123-4567

                       Available solely to Bank Management

                                                     Available to ANYONE

Wed, 01/23/2013 - 21:43 | 3181467 A Lunatic
A Lunatic's picture



                            Joe Biden

                         Dipshit at Large


Wed, 01/23/2013 - 22:22 | 3181556 Ima anal sphincter
Ima anal sphincter's picture

Quite a fitting title. +1000

Wed, 01/23/2013 - 21:44 | 3181473 secret_sam
secret_sam's picture

Anything more than name, phone number, and email address is a bit stodgy if ya ask me. 

It's not like anyone really knows where they're going to be when someone pulls out their card.

Thu, 01/24/2013 - 08:45 | 3182116 StychoKiller
StychoKiller's picture

Here's yer sign...

Wed, 01/23/2013 - 21:54 | 3181496 jballz
jballz's picture

Mine just have my name and number and "hung like a stallion"

The rare times I have to use it for business I just explain they are mostly for giving to the ladies. When I give them to the ladies I just tell them it is my official title.

Everyone remembers them. Once I even got laid.

Fuck you zuckeberg!

Wed, 01/23/2013 - 22:04 | 3181521 Pa Kettle
Pa Kettle's picture

I didn't realize that Orville and Wilbur Wright had email.

Thu, 01/24/2013 - 10:38 | 3182384 Zymurguy
Zymurguy's picture

They beat Al Gore in creating the internet by decades, but they were best known for their planes.

Wed, 01/23/2013 - 22:13 | 3181537 espirit
espirit's picture

I have one that says:

I'm Broke, Bitch.

Wed, 01/23/2013 - 22:19 | 3181551 JLee2027
JLee2027's picture

Zuckerburg what a class act. 

Wed, 01/23/2013 - 22:25 | 3181567 knowless
knowless's picture

i'm a bus bitch

Thu, 01/24/2013 - 00:59 | 3181843 NoDebt
NoDebt's picture

Agreed.  Wondering why he doesn't put a picture of his middle finger on it and the caption "Thanks for the IPO money, now fuck off, assholes."

Anyone interested in investing in FB after seeing that card?

Wed, 01/23/2013 - 22:22 | 3181562 knowless
knowless's picture

the layout on the einstein card is pretty sweet


just cant hate gaga for some reason


asimov is


i really liked this alot, simple statements of identity..

makes me think i need to draw up more cards..

Wed, 01/23/2013 - 22:45 | 3181606 DoChenRollingBearing
DoChenRollingBearing's picture

Class act there, Zuck.

- 1 to FB...

Thu, 01/24/2013 - 02:09 | 3181924 Freddie
Freddie's picture

Zukerberg is a douche bag

Wed, 01/23/2013 - 22:45 | 3181607 Whatta
Whatta's picture

what, no email addressess on any of them?

Wed, 01/23/2013 - 22:55 | 3181623 williambanzai7
williambanzai7's picture


Wed, 01/23/2013 - 22:59 | 3181641 ScotlandTheBrave
ScotlandTheBrave's picture



                                          Barack H. Obama

                 El Presidente de la former Ustados Ununitos


Tele: BR549

Crib: 1600 Penn, Corruptville USA

"Ask what not the goberment can give, but what it can take from you, bitchez!"

Wed, 01/23/2013 - 23:03 | 3181654 buckethead
buckethead's picture

Asimov wins. Understaning what he is.

Thu, 01/24/2013 - 01:11 | 3181862 The Tilden Flash
The Tilden Flash's picture

Agreed. Steve Martin a close second.

Wed, 01/23/2013 - 23:44 | 3181723 GOLDTRADERRR

I  have a card that says:




Wed, 01/23/2013 - 23:58 | 3181743 AGuy
AGuy's picture

Not to worry! You've got Gov't with Benefits! (aka Friends with Benefits only in a bad way)


Thu, 01/24/2013 - 01:16 | 3181871 The Tilden Flash
The Tilden Flash's picture

Be honest, it's all in caps on the card, too, isn't it?

Thu, 01/24/2013 - 00:01 | 3181750 booboo
booboo's picture

mine used to say "HUMAN TRIPOD" yea, them were the good ol days. Now I take a Viagra to keep me from rolling out of bed.

Thu, 01/24/2013 - 00:16 | 3181773 Eahudimac
Eahudimac's picture

Ben Bernake "Father Fiat" Bitchez!

Thu, 01/24/2013 - 02:02 | 3181916 e_goldstein
e_goldstein's picture

Ben Bernanke

the Great Chairsatan

Destroyer of Worlds

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