HSBC Leaving Even Ordinary Street Robbers Disappointed Now?

Tyler Durden's picture

Following the record July fine lobbed against HSBC for "money laundering and terrorist financing", which however as usual resulted in no criminal charges against anyone because as Assistant AG Lanny Brauer explained, the bank is just too big and the US does not bother pursuing such trivial things as "justice" against banks that may have "ripple effects" on the economy, the fourth largest banks in the world by assets is no longer relevant to the bulk of criminal customers who would have otherwise done illegal business with it. Moments ago we learned that HSBC may not be much of interest to that other breed of criminals - ordinary street thugs.

As NY Scanner reports, moments after a robber held up the HSBC branch at 2681 Broadway, the disappointed perp promptly realized he has no cash to show for it, and moved on to rob a Bank of America at 2770 Broadway. Since there have been no further updates on this particular disenchanted robber, we have no idea if the Bank of America branch had any more cash than the HSBC one.

The HSBC branch in question:

Luckily, as custodian of the GLD and SLV silver holdings, we have no doubt in our minds that while HSBC may have had some problems with holding some cash in inventory at such an otherwise cash-free venue as a bank branch, it certainly has all the precious metals it purports to be warehousing and storing for third parties in London and elsewhere. Just hope the Bundesbank does not ask for any deliveries.

h/t Alex

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hedgeless_horseman's picture



In America, banks rob you. 

redpill's picture

Have to give him credit (no pun intended) for his persistence.  Robbing banks just isn't what it used to be.

Popo's picture

...unless you're Jon Corzine.

Pladizow's picture

Is it considered robbery to forcably take make money that was stolen from you?

redpill's picture

Good point, this man is not a robber, he's merely an individual rehypothecator.

Pladizow's picture

Joint HSBC/BAC Press Statement: How dare you steel our stolen money!

No honor amougst theives.

TruthInSunshine's picture

Bank robbers are being offered digital excess reserves for their troubles now.

WWJDD? (What would John Dillinger do?)

OutLookingIn's picture

Hasn't he heard?

The best way to rob a bank -

Is to own one!

redpill's picture

I said robbing BANKS.  But robbing farmers and small retail commodity investors?  Business has never been better!

TheFourthStooge-ing's picture

The manager at 2770 Broadway sent him to 2681 Broadway to apply for an internship. After talking with the manager at 2681 Broadway and learning a little more about how banks operate, the internship applicant realized that such work would violate his code of ethics. This episode of moral clarity is what prompted him to take the higher road and rob the branch at 2681 Broadway.

ParkAveFlasher's picture

False alarm, sheep.

Traffic cameras and face recog. confirm it's just Jon Corzine on a champagne-money run.

Back to your sheepletude, muppets.

redpill's picture

What an outrage!  Someone call Lanny Breuer, he'll put a stop to this!

ParkAveFlasher's picture


Lanny: "Hello, is this HSBC?  Mr. Corzine tripped over one of your fat tellers while doing his cash dance, have that POS fired STAT!"

villainvomit's picture

Breuer is preparing his statement as we speak....something about if he prosecutes bank robbers it may have casdading consequences for the rest of the criminal world.  And he has to take all this into consideration.

alien-IQ's picture

“What is the crime of robbing a bank compared with the crime of founding one.”--Bertolt Brecht

lolmao500's picture

Some guy wants to go to prison so he can have free health care, free food and a shelter over his head.

Good plan if you're in the streets and it's cold as shiat.

Pairadimes's picture

All they had to give him there was fiat, and he turned his nose up at it. Even the common criminals are figuring it out.

nonclaim's picture

Let's hope 33 Liberty St doesn't get hit or we will hear deep below echoing cries of "where is it?"

debtor of last resort's picture

Poor bastard tried to buy a Big Mac with an otc derivative... Fail.

NoDebt's picture

Sounds like an enterprising, self-motivated individual.  He has the makings of a future central bank executive.

Same thing, just no gun or mask required.

Stuck on Zero's picture

He got away with a $100M in Greek and Spanish government bonds.  He fenced them in the Bronx and bought a cup of coffee with the proceeds.



alien-IQ's picture

Whoever is robbing these banks should not be arrested...he should be given a fucking medal...and perhaps appointed to the DOJ. At least he has the balls to take back from the banks.

espirit's picture

All they had to say to the perp was... "Do you know which drug cartel you're robbing?"

Bet that guy turned white.

SilverIsKing's picture

They offered him a tungsten bar but he declined.  He chose the toaster instead.

Xibalba's picture

Good things guns are illegal in NY.  I wonder if they can make it illegal to buy crack, or shove someone down the subway tracks too.  Gotta stop that sheet...

alien-IQ's picture

Everything is illegal in New York...except fraud and theft...but you need a banking license to be granted that right.

espirit's picture

HSBC was fined 1.9 billion $$$.  That was just 4 days profits.


hedgeless_horseman's picture



The bribes campaign contributions behind the fine were another 2.5 days profit, and the legal bills are another 9 days profit.  So, that is about half a month. 

I hope this helps you to recognize how serious the bank-owned regulator takes its job of regulating the banks that own it.



The Federal Reserve has responsibility for supervising and regulating the following segments of the banking industry to ensure safe and sound banking practices and compliance with banking laws:

  • bank holding companies, including diversified financial holding companies formed under the Gramm-Leach-Bliley Act of 1999 and foreign banks with U.S. operations
  • state-chartered banks that are members of the Federal Reserve System (state member banks)
  • foreign branches of member banks
  • Edge and agreement corporations, through which U.S. banking organizations may conduct international banking activities
  • U.S. state-licensed branches, agencies, and representative offices of foreign banks
  • nonbanking activities of foreign banks
Bandit und Buster's picture

They forgot the /Sarc at the end of that, ...oh wait thy're SERIOUS?  LMAO!!!  LOOOOOLLLLOL

Fix It Again Timmy's picture

Years ago, a friend of mind went to Attica for armed robbery [gas station], got a college education while incarcerated, got released and got a job with the state.  The doors may just be opening for this chap...

Dr. Engali's picture

I hope he at least got a Spiderman towel.

Winston Churchill's picture

Mayb from HSBC, from BofA he got a Spiderman doily.

NotApplicable's picture

Only if HSBC rehypotheticated them from Bankia.

*checks news*

Well, they are now worth negative 4.2bn euros, so could be.

Anglo Hondo's picture

Shit man, ya couda tole me that HSBC ony has silver in the vault, an it wud tek 20 minits to get it.

Din't get much from the Merkin Bank eether.   Bad day all round.  Life suks.....


ziggy59's picture

Its The Bankster Effect..same as the butterfly effect but completely different...

If the banksters rob the globe of their assets, nevermind the financial disasters that ensue, but when caught, the govt and the law, which theoretically is supposed to protect the public(HaHa!) do a paraphrased Hank Paulson redux, threatens financial armeggedon will take place...


I say we call these bastards' bluff..

NotApplicable's picture


You seem to be forgetting Ben's 100% guarantee that he can collapse the world in fifteen minutes.

The only bluff to be called is the idea that he can also save it. Which, if you think about it, isn't very palatable.

QQQBall's picture

Tyler +100 hahhahahhaha on the headline! LMAO!

Cult of Criminality's picture

Tyler +100 hahhahahhaha on the headline! LMAO!

2cnd that

Seer's picture

Kudos to all those posting here, this is classic ZH wit in full glory! (we need a "Nominate for best of" button)

supermaxedout's picture

This is how the work is done in Germany - just a few days ago.

In Germany robbers built a 45 meters tunnel to the bank and grabbed it. After this they burned the bank to leave no evidence.

The Germans recognize what is a good work. To honor this the authorities even hired an artist to paint a picture of the Head of the executing team.

awakening's picture

You know SHTF when even a successful bank robbery yield's no Return On Investment =S

CJHames's picture

Now THAT was freaking hilarious.  You just can't make this shit up.