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HSBC Leaving Even Ordinary Street Robbers Disappointed Now?

Tyler Durden's picture




 

Following the record July fine lobbed against HSBC for "money laundering and terrorist financing", which however as usual resulted in no criminal charges against anyone because as Assistant AG Lanny Brauer explained, the bank is just too big and the US does not bother pursuing such trivial things as "justice" against banks that may have "ripple effects" on the economy, the fourth largest banks in the world by assets is no longer relevant to the bulk of criminal customers who would have otherwise done illegal business with it. Moments ago we learned that HSBC may not be much of interest to that other breed of criminals - ordinary street thugs.

As NY Scanner reports, moments after a robber held up the HSBC branch at 2681 Broadway, the disappointed perp promptly realized he has no cash to show for it, and moved on to rob a Bank of America at 2770 Broadway. Since there have been no further updates on this particular disenchanted robber, we have no idea if the Bank of America branch had any more cash than the HSBC one.

The HSBC branch in question:

Luckily, as custodian of the GLD and SLV silver holdings, we have no doubt in our minds that while HSBC may have had some problems with holding some cash in inventory at such an otherwise cash-free venue as a bank branch, it certainly has all the precious metals it purports to be warehousing and storing for third parties in London and elsewhere. Just hope the Bundesbank does not ask for any deliveries.

h/t Alex

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Wed, 01/23/2013 - 16:28 | 3180345 hedgeless_horseman
hedgeless_horseman's picture

 

 

In America, banks rob you. 

Wed, 01/23/2013 - 16:35 | 3180385 redpill
redpill's picture

Have to give him credit (no pun intended) for his persistence.  Robbing banks just isn't what it used to be.

Wed, 01/23/2013 - 16:37 | 3180395 Popo
Popo's picture

...unless you're Jon Corzine.

Wed, 01/23/2013 - 16:38 | 3180408 Pladizow
Pladizow's picture

Is it considered robbery to forcably take make money that was stolen from you?

Wed, 01/23/2013 - 16:40 | 3180414 redpill
redpill's picture

Good point, this man is not a robber, he's merely an individual rehypothecator.

Wed, 01/23/2013 - 16:43 | 3180427 Pladizow
Pladizow's picture

Joint HSBC/BAC Press Statement: How dare you steel our stolen money!

No honor amougst theives.

Wed, 01/23/2013 - 16:45 | 3180434 ParkAveFlasher
ParkAveFlasher's picture

Ripple Rebate, bitchez!

Wed, 01/23/2013 - 19:24 | 3180553 TruthInSunshine
TruthInSunshine's picture

Bank robbers are being offered digital excess reserves for their troubles now.

WWJDD? (What would John Dillinger do?)

Wed, 01/23/2013 - 19:34 | 3181087 OutLookingIn
OutLookingIn's picture

Hasn't he heard?

The best way to rob a bank -

Is to own one!

Wed, 01/23/2013 - 16:39 | 3180413 redpill
redpill's picture

I said robbing BANKS.  But robbing farmers and small retail commodity investors?  Business has never been better!

Wed, 01/23/2013 - 16:43 | 3180423 TheFourthStooge-ing
TheFourthStooge-ing's picture

The manager at 2770 Broadway sent him to 2681 Broadway to apply for an internship. After talking with the manager at 2681 Broadway and learning a little more about how banks operate, the internship applicant realized that such work would violate his code of ethics. This episode of moral clarity is what prompted him to take the higher road and rob the branch at 2681 Broadway.

Wed, 01/23/2013 - 16:37 | 3180399 ParkAveFlasher
ParkAveFlasher's picture

False alarm, sheep.

Traffic cameras and face recog. confirm it's just Jon Corzine on a champagne-money run.

Back to your sheepletude, muppets.

Wed, 01/23/2013 - 16:42 | 3180419 redpill
redpill's picture

What an outrage!  Someone call Lanny Breuer, he'll put a stop to this!

Wed, 01/23/2013 - 16:44 | 3180430 ParkAveFlasher
ParkAveFlasher's picture

Agreed.

Lanny: "Hello, is this HSBC?  Mr. Corzine tripped over one of your fat tellers while doing his cash dance, have that POS fired STAT!"

Wed, 01/23/2013 - 17:39 | 3180659 villainvomit
villainvomit's picture

Breuer is preparing his statement as we speak....something about if he prosecutes bank robbers it may have casdading consequences for the rest of the criminal world.  And he has to take all this into consideration.

Wed, 01/23/2013 - 16:42 | 3180418 alien-IQ
alien-IQ's picture

“What is the crime of robbing a bank compared with the crime of founding one.”--Bertolt Brecht

Wed, 01/23/2013 - 16:38 | 3180350 lolmao500
lolmao500's picture

Some guy wants to go to prison so he can have free health care, free food and a shelter over his head.

Good plan if you're in the streets and it's cold as shiat.

Wed, 01/23/2013 - 16:30 | 3180361 Pairadimes
Pairadimes's picture

All they had to give him there was fiat, and he turned his nose up at it. Even the common criminals are figuring it out.

Wed, 01/23/2013 - 16:35 | 3180372 nonclaim
nonclaim's picture

Let's hope 33 Liberty St doesn't get hit or we will hear deep below echoing cries of "where is it?"

Wed, 01/23/2013 - 16:36 | 3180380 debtor of last ...
debtor of last resort's picture

Poor bastard tried to buy a Big Mac with an otc derivative... Fail.

Wed, 01/23/2013 - 16:37 | 3180397 NoDebt
NoDebt's picture

Sounds like an enterprising, self-motivated individual.  He has the makings of a future central bank executive.

Same thing, just no gun or mask required.

Wed, 01/23/2013 - 16:39 | 3180403 Stuck on Zero
Stuck on Zero's picture

He got away with a $100M in Greek and Spanish government bonds.  He fenced them in the Bronx and bought a cup of coffee with the proceeds.

 

 

Wed, 01/23/2013 - 16:39 | 3180412 alien-IQ
alien-IQ's picture

Whoever is robbing these banks should not be arrested...he should be given a fucking medal...and perhaps appointed to the DOJ. At least he has the balls to take back from the banks.

Wed, 01/23/2013 - 16:41 | 3180417 espirit
espirit's picture

All they had to say to the perp was... "Do you know which drug cartel you're robbing?"

Bet that guy turned white.

Wed, 01/23/2013 - 16:42 | 3180425 SilverIsKing
SilverIsKing's picture

They offered him a tungsten bar but he declined.  He chose the toaster instead.

Wed, 01/23/2013 - 16:42 | 3180426 Xibalba
Xibalba's picture

Good things guns are illegal in NY.  I wonder if they can make it illegal to buy crack, or shove someone down the subway tracks too.  Gotta stop that sheet...

Wed, 01/23/2013 - 16:45 | 3180435 alien-IQ
alien-IQ's picture

Everything is illegal in New York...except fraud and theft...but you need a banking license to be granted that right.

Wed, 01/23/2013 - 16:48 | 3180439 espirit
espirit's picture

HSBC was fined 1.9 billion $$$.  That was just 4 days profits.

BuWaHaHaHaHaHa.

Wed, 01/23/2013 - 17:01 | 3180478 hedgeless_horseman
hedgeless_horseman's picture

 

 

The bribes campaign contributions behind the fine were another 2.5 days profit, and the legal bills are another 9 days profit.  So, that is about half a month. 

I hope this helps you to recognize how serious the bank-owned regulator takes its job of regulating the banks that own it.

 

http://www.federalreserve.gov/pf/pdf/pf_5.pdf

 

 

The Federal Reserve has responsibility for supervising and regulating the following segments of the banking industry to ensure safe and sound banking practices and compliance with banking laws:

  • bank holding companies, including diversified financial holding companies formed under the Gramm-Leach-Bliley Act of 1999 and foreign banks with U.S. operations
  • state-chartered banks that are members of the Federal Reserve System (state member banks)
  • foreign branches of member banks
  • Edge and agreement corporations, through which U.S. banking organizations may conduct international banking activities
  • U.S. state-licensed branches, agencies, and representative offices of foreign banks
  • nonbanking activities of foreign banks
Wed, 01/23/2013 - 20:13 | 3181228 Bandit und Buster
Bandit und Buster's picture

They forgot the /Sarc at the end of that, ...oh wait thy're SERIOUS?  LMAO!!!  LOOOOOLLLLOL

Wed, 01/23/2013 - 16:52 | 3180461 Fix It Again Timmy
Fix It Again Timmy's picture

Years ago, a friend of mind went to Attica for armed robbery [gas station], got a college education while incarcerated, got released and got a job with the state.  The doors may just be opening for this chap...

Wed, 01/23/2013 - 17:17 | 3180580 NotApplicable
NotApplicable's picture

NY AG?

Wed, 01/23/2013 - 17:52 | 3180708 Buckaroo Banzai
Buckaroo Banzai's picture

Governor!

Wed, 01/23/2013 - 16:53 | 3180470 Dr. Engali
Dr. Engali's picture

I hope he at least got a Spiderman towel.

Wed, 01/23/2013 - 17:12 | 3180556 Winston Churchill
Winston Churchill's picture

Mayb from HSBC, from BofA he got a Spiderman doily.

Wed, 01/23/2013 - 17:14 | 3180565 NotApplicable
NotApplicable's picture

Only if HSBC rehypotheticated them from Bankia.

*checks news*

Well, they are now worth negative 4.2bn euros, so could be.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/business-20851106

Wed, 01/23/2013 - 16:59 | 3180508 Anglo Hondo
Anglo Hondo's picture

Shit man, ya couda tole me that HSBC ony has silver in the vault, an it wud tek 20 minits to get it.

Din't get much from the Merkin Bank eether.   Bad day all round.  Life suks.....

 

Wed, 01/23/2013 - 17:02 | 3180518 ziggy59
ziggy59's picture

Its The Bankster Effect..same as the butterfly effect but completely different...

If the banksters rob the globe of their assets, nevermind the financial disasters that ensue, but when caught, the govt and the law, which theoretically is supposed to protect the public(HaHa!) do a paraphrased Hank Paulson redux, threatens financial armeggedon will take place...

Sheeeeeit...

I say we call these bastards' bluff..

Wed, 01/23/2013 - 17:16 | 3180575 NotApplicable
NotApplicable's picture

Bluff?

You seem to be forgetting Ben's 100% guarantee that he can collapse the world in fifteen minutes.

The only bluff to be called is the idea that he can also save it. Which, if you think about it, isn't very palatable.

Wed, 01/23/2013 - 17:07 | 3180546 QQQBall
QQQBall's picture

Tyler +100 hahhahahhaha on the headline! LMAO!

Wed, 01/23/2013 - 17:14 | 3180568 Cult of Criminality
Cult of Criminality's picture

Tyler +100 hahhahahhaha on the headline! LMAO!

2cnd that

Wed, 01/23/2013 - 17:32 | 3180622 Seer
Seer's picture

Kudos to all those posting here, this is classic ZH wit in full glory! (we need a "Nominate for best of" button)

Wed, 01/23/2013 - 19:01 | 3180935 AgAu_man
AgAu_man's picture

Rob the banks legally:  uSE fIAT fRN tO bUY hARD bULLION, bITCHEZ!

http://finance.yahoo.com/blogs/daily-ticker/central-banks-repatriate-gold-affect-investors-170006263.html

 

Wed, 01/23/2013 - 19:26 | 3181051 supermaxedout
supermaxedout's picture

This is how the work is done in Germany - just a few days ago.

In Germany robbers built a 45 meters tunnel to the bank and grabbed it. After this they burned the bank to leave no evidence.

The Germans recognize what is a good work. To honor this the authorities even hired an artist to paint a picture of the Head of the executing team.

http://www.humorsharing.com/berlin-bank-robbery/8855

Wed, 01/23/2013 - 19:33 | 3181085 supermaxedout
Thu, 01/24/2013 - 06:37 | 3182068 awakening
awakening's picture

You know SHTF when even a successful bank robbery yield's no Return On Investment =S

Thu, 01/24/2013 - 08:24 | 3182110 CJHames
CJHames's picture

Now THAT was freaking hilarious.  You just can't make this shit up.

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