• Tim Knight from...
    04/28/2016 - 00:27
    I was expecting a few boring candidate statements of the U.S. Senate - AKA the World's Most Exclusive Club - but, boy, was I wrong. Just take a look at some of these gems.
  • Tim Knight from...
    04/28/2016 - 00:27
    I was expecting a few boring candidate statements of the U.S. Senate - AKA the World's Most Exclusive Club - but, boy, was I wrong. Just take a look at some of these gems.

Why Steve Cohen Is In Davos

Tyler Durden's picture


Those wondering if Steve Cohen is attending the most epic of "economic forum" boondoggles elsewhere known as Davos (where for some reason Derek Jeter is present and accounted for) was just to get a hot tip, or to interact with the Swiss branch of Gerson-Lehrman, the one where not every conversation is being recorded by the feds, the answer is neither. The man, whose fund as most by now have been made aware is one turned informant away from greeting the men in gray coats on its front porch at 72 Cummings Road, is in Davos to learn about... "Resilient Dynamism."

From Bloomberg:

The fund manager is joining world leaders, Nobel laureates and fellow billionaires as they discuss the state of the global economy under the motto “Resilient Dynamism.” The logic of the organizers, as spelled out in the program for the Jan. 23 to 27 event, is that hard times require “successful organizations to master strategic agility and to build risk resilience.”


After Davos, Cohen plans to go to Palm Beach, Florida, where he will attend the Morgan Stanley hedge-fund conference at the Breakers hotel, according to a person familiar with his plans. The person asked not to be named because Cohen’s travel schedule is private.

We hope Stevie learns as much as he needs to know how to be dynamically resilient in a time when he does not know the outcome of every Phase I, II, and III trial days and weeks ahead of time, or when market volume is so low attempts to corner the market end up beaching him as much as they did JPM's London Whale. This may prove to be a hindrance in his quest to generate Alpha of the magnitude that the few remaining outside SAC investors demand, further converting the hedge fund as a manager solely of "friends and family" money. Of course, when the "friends and family" have some $8 billion in cash on hand, they should do ok. After all - who would possibly dare go after them: The Department of Justice and its previously profiled Assistant AG? Surely, you jest.

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Wed, 01/23/2013 - 13:52 | 3179663 Zer0head
Zer0head's picture

Resilient Dynamism

now bend over

Wed, 01/23/2013 - 14:04 | 3179706 Hard1
Hard1's picture

Jeter has insider info of what pitch is coming and Steven Cohen has foresight. Yeah right!

Wed, 01/23/2013 - 14:26 | 3179812 redpill
redpill's picture

Jeter is there because his baseball career is almost over and he needs to find the ultimate insider financial oligarch willing to take his millions and guarantee (wink, wink) ridiculous returns perpetually.

Wed, 01/23/2013 - 14:59 | 3179957 Pinto Currency
Pinto Currency's picture


Almost afraid to guess why Cohen is in Davos, but he is in good company:



Former SAC Capital Employee Details Forced Oral Sex, Hormone Use, Sodomy, And Cross Dressing



Wed, 01/23/2013 - 14:15 | 3179760 IamtheREALmario
IamtheREALmario's picture

Is that Stevies head or his butt that we are looking at ... or maybe it is a GMO watermelon.

Wed, 01/23/2013 - 15:44 | 3180154 rotagen
rotagen's picture

Cohen, Lehrman...yeah they sound like honest salt-of-the-earth everyday guys I can trust with my money.

Wed, 01/23/2013 - 17:00 | 3180516 Clayton Bigsby
Clayton Bigsby's picture

I say bullshit.  I think he's tryin to pull a Roman Polanski before the feds drop the hammer on his inside-tradin' ass.

Wed, 01/23/2013 - 14:07 | 3179666 ParkAveFlasher
ParkAveFlasher's picture

Twenty bucks says a tipsy Merkel asks Jeter to autograph her reptilian boob.

Wed, 01/23/2013 - 14:15 | 3179753 SilverIsKing
SilverIsKing's picture

She wants an autographed baseball.

Wed, 01/23/2013 - 14:39 | 3179866 otto skorzeny
otto skorzeny's picture


Wed, 01/23/2013 - 13:54 | 3179668 youngman
youngman's picture

You have to start to work like the rest of us when your pre announcement information lines are cut off....

Wed, 01/23/2013 - 13:54 | 3179671 lizzy36
lizzy36's picture

What is the purpose of Davos again?

Give the euro-trash somewhere to gather?

Give ARS somewhere to be seen?

Circle Jerk of the Master of the Universe, access "journalist-bloggers" and the 20 year old women that come straight from DSK's latest Bunga Bunga party?

Wed, 01/23/2013 - 14:01 | 3179691 blu
blu's picture

+1 for managing to work "DSK" and "bunga bunga" into the same comment. Some things should not be allowed to die.

Wed, 01/23/2013 - 14:05 | 3179708 Divided States ...
Divided States of America's picture

Its to pat each other on the back for another great year of rapage and plan for having even more rapage for 2013.


Everyone, please bend over.

Wed, 01/23/2013 - 14:14 | 3179752 walküre
walküre's picture

I'd be more interested to learn if there was a meeting where the 99% get represented and if not, maybe now would be a good time to start the foundation for a global revolution of the 99%.

What's the poorest place on the planet where pollution is visible, where the stench of poverty and misery is penetrating every room of every house and where journalists would be grossed out enough to stay away? That's the meeting place where the minds and hearts of the global revolution can gather and plot the stages. From there the collective ideas get spread across the world into every community.

There is far more to life than digital wealth but unfortunately their digital wealth is restricting our quality of life and freedom. The wealth they've created for themselves are weapons of mass destruction. It's ficticious and extracting our productive assets at whim. That's all we've got. That is what we were born with, which we inheritantly own. They control it from the cradle to the grave and render us their slaves to carry the debt/wealth and protect their status quo.

Bailouts at our expense to protect banker's salaries and the illusion of their wealth were a declaration of war on the rest of us.

Wed, 01/23/2013 - 14:18 | 3179772 ParkAveFlasher
ParkAveFlasher's picture

Camden, NJ!

Wed, 01/23/2013 - 14:32 | 3179845 DoChenRollingBearing
DoChenRollingBearing's picture

Camden, NJ is a real hellhole, I have been there.  Without doubt one of the very worst places in the USA.  World class!

Wed, 01/23/2013 - 14:39 | 3179875 Wilcat Dafoe
Wilcat Dafoe's picture

Newark makes Camden look like Scarsdale.

Wed, 01/23/2013 - 13:56 | 3179674 IamtheREALmario
IamtheREALmario's picture

Resilient Dynanism? ... is that rebranding of the "robustness" craze that was being touted in Harvard seminars 2 years ago?

Wed, 01/23/2013 - 14:05 | 3179711 blu
blu's picture

Not exactly. Robustness was more about knowing how things work and making sure they work correctly. Resilient dynamism is more about not knowing what the fuck you are doing but being agile enough to stay the fuck out of the way of any of the expected shrapnel that will fly when your half-baked kitchen-made financial markets dirty bomb goes off in your face. Because it will.

Wed, 01/23/2013 - 14:18 | 3179774 IamtheREALmario
IamtheREALmario's picture

Was thinking maybe it was selling the ability to "take a punch" and still come back swinging. "Go ahead, knock it off my shoulder!" I am thinking it is better not to be the punching bag in the first place.

Wed, 01/23/2013 - 13:57 | 3179680 Dr. Engali
Dr. Engali's picture

Resilient Dynamism...rehypothecation...vaporized....the hits just keep on coming.

Wed, 01/23/2013 - 15:49 | 3180181 LeisureSmith
LeisureSmith's picture

Eels show Resilient Dynamism... Slippery, highly mobile and hard to kill.

Wed, 01/23/2013 - 15:31 | 3179713 palmereldritch
palmereldritch's picture

Nice to see the opening picture of the USA Today article at the Jeter link doesn't resort to predictable Illuminati imagery....*

*EDIT: Since scrolled off opening slide-show.  See 'woman with iPad pic'. That may be Lagarde in the photo...lol

Wed, 01/23/2013 - 14:06 | 3179718 William.M.Tweed
William.M.Tweed's picture

We need Captain Clutch at a time like this

Wed, 01/23/2013 - 17:32 | 3179755 blu
blu's picture

That made me suddenly think of Clutch Cargo, probably the strangest and most disturbing animated children's show ever. You have to watch it to know what I mean.

Wed, 01/23/2013 - 14:19 | 3179776 zilverreiger
zilverreiger's picture

send doug casey there

Wed, 01/23/2013 - 14:19 | 3179777 Wilcat Dafoe
Wilcat Dafoe's picture

Yankees Suck.

So do hedge fund managers when they don't have insider tips.

"Nearly half of all Fund of Hedge Fund managers, the academics report, delivered “negative after-fees alpha when benchmarked against the hedge-fund indices.” In other words they couldn’t even keep up with the index."

Which is why anyone making any money, is getting valuable inside information, which provides cover for the sheer, unadulterated bullshit they provide investors, who study and value their empty, bloviating verbiage like a wine snob reading a label of overpriced French Merlot.


We don't need no water let the mutherfucker burn.





Wed, 01/23/2013 - 14:24 | 3179802 bugs_
bugs_'s picture

Seeking asylum?

Wed, 01/23/2013 - 14:48 | 3179920 Mad Mohel
Mad Mohel's picture

Everytime you turn around, you got a Cohen, a Gerson, or a Lehrman with their hands in someones pocket trying to steal a few shekels. Shits getting out of hand.

Wed, 01/23/2013 - 15:45 | 3180153 Downtoolong
Downtoolong's picture

I’ll never be invited to Davos, but, I’ll never forget the seminar I attended where a Senior VP from Arthur Andersen gave a presentation championing Enron as the most innovative and successful company he had ever encountered and a financial model for all corporations to follow in the future.

The more I see what’s going on in the world, the more I realize he may have been quite a visionary after all. If I had paid more attention, I might have spotted Ben Bernanke in the front row.

Wed, 01/23/2013 - 16:04 | 3180253 shovelhead
shovelhead's picture

Enron may be gone but their off book accounting methods live on and prosper.

Wed, 01/23/2013 - 16:14 | 3180289 AgAu_man
AgAu_man's picture

"...to master strategic agility and to build risk resilience.”

Translation:  AFAB + CYA!

/"Victory, Hail New World Order!" /end sarc

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