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Ultimate Hedge Fund Deathmatch: Icahn And Ackman As The Real Billionaire Husbands Of CNBC Going Wild

Tyler Durden's picture


Following the epic rap battle we noted yesterday, today saw probably the greatest, most enthralling and at the same time most pathetic segment on CNBC (which may or may not have been taken over by Jerry Springer's desperate for ratings producers) ever as 'Bullshitting' Bill Ackman took on 'Cry-baby' Carl Icahn in a no-holds-barred discussion that covered everything from religion, ethics, trust, blasphemy, greed, desperation, and independence. CNBC's Scott Wapner found himself in the middle of a clash of the titans. The full clip has to be seen to be believed but our bevvy of quotes, tweets, and quips should summarize what happens when two Billionaire BSDs get into a pissing competition live on TV.








Part 1 - Ackman...


Part 2 - Icahn calls in and the real screaming begins:

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Fri, 01/25/2013 - 14:25 | 3186012 Cdad
Cdad's picture

Ichan...big loser in this round.  Not even close.

Fri, 01/25/2013 - 14:25 | 3186017 BKbroiler
BKbroiler's picture

The Dukes of Moral Hazard...

Fri, 01/25/2013 - 14:27 | 3186025 Cdad
Cdad's picture

The personal nature of his remarks, in addition to his failure to disclose his HLF position, while trying to ignite an epic short squeeze [for personal reasons] was the only measure one needed to assess this round of the fight.  Period.


Fri, 01/25/2013 - 14:31 | 3186036 trav777
trav777's picture

so what was this, tune in to watch what people with a lot of money say?  Who cares?

Fri, 01/25/2013 - 14:45 | 3186077 MillionDollarBonus_
MillionDollarBonus_'s picture

Good news – this morning I managed to sign up two more people on to the Herbalife distributor program. At this rate, my Herbalife status will be elevated and maybe I’ll even qualify for a sweet holiday package! Also one of the ladies I signed onto the program bought a meal replacement shake – my first sale! You’ll never believe it though – three of the random people I approached also turned out to be Herbalife distributors. What a coincidence! Beats me ... Anyway, if anyone wants to buy the products, please PM me. My garage is loaded with stock and I’m always looking for new customers and distributors.

Fri, 01/25/2013 - 14:51 | 3186088 Dr. Engali
Dr. Engali's picture

Tell me more about this Herbalife. It sounds interesting can I get Hawaiian Skunk or California dream?

Fri, 01/25/2013 - 14:56 | 3186098 shovelhead
shovelhead's picture

Kosher Kush.

Go with the cup winner.

Fri, 01/25/2013 - 15:02 | 3186116 NotApplicable
NotApplicable's picture

Kudos for the Springer tweet, Tyler!

Too bad they weren't both in studio, then they could've went all Geraldo, tossing chairs and shit.

Fri, 01/25/2013 - 15:05 | 3186120 Pinto Currency
Pinto Currency's picture

These children fighting are a complete distraction from the real issues.

Count on CNBC to highlight the playground fight.

Fri, 01/25/2013 - 15:27 | 3186175 Thomas
Thomas's picture

I'm sure M-Lo will sift through this debate to see if there were any breaches of interest to the SEC. New cop on the beat.

Fri, 01/25/2013 - 15:43 | 3186236 Divided States ...
Divided States of America's picture

I think this interview was a good thing...now the whole world can openly see what the true scums of the world looks like when it comes to these Jews who own Wall Street. Just dispicable but this will spread the word.

Fri, 01/25/2013 - 16:26 | 3186354 Kinskian
Kinskian's picture

Icahn is a character out of Der Ewige Jude but even the more assimilated types like Ackman and Blankfein are bottomless pits of greed and corruption. People like these have worked to cross and then erase every boundary that's defined America as a country and Americans as a unique people. Nothing but lawlessness and collapse can come from their influence.

Fri, 01/25/2013 - 17:05 | 3186491 James_Cole
James_Cole's picture

Wow that was priceless! Love Icahn "Hello?? Hello??" Uh oh grandpa's off his meds again!

Fri, 01/25/2013 - 17:26 | 3186573 derek_vineyard
derek_vineyard's picture

MDB must have sold avon or tupperware or something....he knows the proceedures

Fri, 01/25/2013 - 19:48 | 3186916 JuicyGrabs
JuicyGrabs's picture

Citing Nazi propaganda movies to prove your point? You are probably some socialist nazi twat from Germany trolling this board.  Defined America as a country? WTF are talking about? Unique people? What unique people you idiot?

If you were to make lists of ruthless business owners like JP Morgan or Andrew Carnegie, a low % would be from jewish backgrounds.



Fri, 01/25/2013 - 19:40 | 3186905 JuicyGrabs
JuicyGrabs's picture

Jews own Wallstreet? What about the Christians who own Wallstreet? Are Christian scum any better than Jews or viceversa? You are probably a christian scum yourself.


What about Warren Buffett he's not Jewish?What about Jamie Dimon, who's Greek? What about Mitt Romney who's 100% pure anglo saxon? What about that uber catholic cunt of Newt Gingrich or the uber twisted catholic Santorum?


Also calling these guys Jewish is pretty stupid since they're probably no longer religious. Jews(religious) come from variety of ethnic backgrounds so it's not even  a racial thing. It' s just your stupid brainwashing that makes you spew garbage and other dozen brainwashed twats like you.

Fri, 01/25/2013 - 20:06 | 3186949 AllWorkedUp
AllWorkedUp's picture

Another scum apologist troll shows up to defend the indefensible. YOUR stupid brainwashing makes YOU spew your garbage. Zionist scum.

Sat, 01/26/2013 - 00:05 | 3187303 Id fight Gandhi
Id fight Gandhi's picture

Destruction of the temple in 70AD effectively ended the Old Testament "religion" of the jews. Judaism practiced today is rabbinical Judaism, a man made unfulfilled religion. A better description would be a cabal.

Jews managed to work their ways into the church which is why it's fractured and falling apart. You have so called Christians doing their shit work and defending them.

If you believe anything religious, they are not the chosen people, they are liars. The chosen are the ones who accepted the new covenant.

Remember, they have no king but Caesar.

Fri, 01/25/2013 - 20:01 | 3186940 AllWorkedUp
AllWorkedUp's picture

I'd love to see these two greedy Jews eat eachothers faces off. The scum of the earth, no two ways about it.

Fri, 01/25/2013 - 16:00 | 3186288 Taterboy
Taterboy's picture

You are not allowed to say "bullshit" on CNBC because it may cause viewers to reflect upon the fact that almost everything said on CNBC is exactly that.

Fri, 01/25/2013 - 15:04 | 3186117 Pinto Currency
Pinto Currency's picture


dbl post

Fri, 01/25/2013 - 14:52 | 3186089 redpill
redpill's picture

See if you can unload one more case of vits on grandma, I think that old bag is still hiding money she won at the nursing home Bridge tournament last July.

Fri, 01/25/2013 - 14:54 | 3186096 NotApplicable
NotApplicable's picture

So... any guesses as to which algo this circus was providing cover for?

Fri, 01/25/2013 - 15:05 | 3186126 prains
prains's picture


I'm one of your biggest critics as i think your transvaginal mesh has come loose and is causing some kind of toxic reaction which leads to incredibly uninspired satire BUT




slow golf clap on your cadence and subtle delivery this time, bravo

Fri, 01/25/2013 - 15:17 | 3186147 Tijuana Donkey Show
Tijuana Donkey Show's picture


I'm worried about your upswing in votes. I miss the trolling troll of old, not this new wave of optimism. I fear you may be smoking to much of the product, and it's causing you issues. 

Fri, 01/25/2013 - 15:26 | 3186169 francis_sawyer
francis_sawyer's picture

I'm guessing that Herbalife doesn't hire 'doomer libertarians' as sales reps... It must be full of retired politicians trying to supplement their guaranteed lifetime incomes...

Fri, 01/25/2013 - 18:32 | 3186777 fourchan
fourchan's picture


Fri, 01/25/2013 - 15:32 | 3186192 InjuredThales
InjuredThales's picture


Fri, 01/25/2013 - 16:02 | 3186295 Hobie
Hobie's picture

You got any of that Radical Marijuana in your garage? That's the only Herbalife I'm interested in.


Fri, 01/25/2013 - 16:12 | 3186323 RealFinney
RealFinney's picture

Good luck with that MDB, I struggled for months until I was able to persuade a local retirement community to switch all their nutrition to the sports formula cell activation shakes, the survivors have never looked better

Fri, 01/25/2013 - 19:26 | 3186879 Parrotile
Parrotile's picture

We are having great feedback with our own "BioHealth" Rapid Weight Loss Programme supplement - ours includes "Clinically Recognised" and "Extensively Researched" InvJ, Spa322, and EPEC / H 0157, all shown Clinically to induce very rapid weight loss.

No-one's ever asked for our "Money Back if you are not satisfied" guarantee (guarantee limited to original purchaser and user).

Fri, 01/25/2013 - 14:27 | 3186024 whatsinaname
whatsinaname's picture

Let them shrews duke it out while I get some aura for myself at good looking prices. Thank you Lord for a little gravity in that market.

Fri, 01/25/2013 - 14:28 | 3186026 bigdumbnugly
bigdumbnugly's picture

he lost and should just fade into bolivian

Tue, 02/05/2013 - 09:04 | 3215911 Fedaykinx
Fedaykinx's picture


Fri, 01/25/2013 - 15:34 | 3186201 The_Dude
The_Dude's picture

Jeez...all the twisted half-truths, insinuation, misleading facts, derogatory remarks....it would almost cause you to think that they were raised in a twisted cultural setting that promoted deception and exploiting others.

Fri, 01/25/2013 - 17:23 | 3186528 ToNYC
ToNYC's picture

Easy read: first punch ad hominem: "this guy Ackman"

Holy On the Waterfront, Batman.

Carl's a gamer and only loses when you can read his cards right. You can bet he was long, but machts nicht.

He admitted his great 'bombastic bushkin' attorney still in network screwed that one up AND that he signed that tight 10-page contract after what was a dinner and handshake. I think he tightened up on the bat and Ackman called his bluff and a good upstate lawyer (thank you, Scotty!) could have seen the clear 'only on flip'- weasel trick (you get to define 'flip' on a handshaake, right?).

Carl was the uber Bully by capturing the flag fast.

Fri, 01/25/2013 - 14:25 | 3186014 Silver Bug
Silver Bug's picture

Wow, the soap opera continues. This interview was a bunch of nonsense.



Fri, 01/25/2013 - 14:27 | 3186022 Divided States ...
Divided States of America's picture

Honestly no one gives a shit about this Jew charade going on TV...if they want to fight this out, dont do it over the phone on TV. Lets put these two phony assclowns in a caged deathmatch with weapons like in Mad Max in Thunderdome. Jim Cramer can be special guest referee.

Fri, 01/25/2013 - 14:54 | 3186082 Silver Bully
Silver Bully's picture

'Lets put these two phony assclowns in a caged deathmatch with weapons like in Mad Max in Thunderdome.'

One could say 'Two men Enter, One Man Leave!' but first you would need two men.


[edit: Personally, I'd rather chant 'Gulag! Gulag! Gulag!', put them both on a horse with a giant Ben Bernanke head, a bottle of water on a stick and push them out into Death Valley. But that's just me.]

Fri, 01/25/2013 - 14:55 | 3186097 redpill
redpill's picture

Was that Icahn on the phone or Gordon Gecko?

Fri, 01/25/2013 - 14:56 | 3186099 Yellowhoard
Yellowhoard's picture

You just got quoted by Cramer.

Fri, 01/25/2013 - 14:59 | 3186107 ParkAveFlasher
ParkAveFlasher's picture


Fri, 01/25/2013 - 19:30 | 3186882 JuicyGrabs
JuicyGrabs's picture

Would you call a smackdown between Romney(mormon christian) and say Gingrich(catholic) a Christian charade?

Fri, 01/25/2013 - 14:24 | 3186015 lemonobrien
lemonobrien's picture

people are stupid; that's why i buy golds; and silvers (but not as much cause it's hard to store).

Fri, 01/25/2013 - 14:27 | 3186018 CClarity
CClarity's picture

Icahn was so disparaging and disdainful. I'd never want to be in a room with him. Bullying baby. Yech. Ackerman a bit of a goody two shoes. Both ridiculous. And they control $billions. That's where we are folks
Sad sad sad. And yes, I'm embarrassed that I watched and was entertained.
Now I feel dirty.

Fri, 01/25/2013 - 14:36 | 3186050 Divided States ...
Divided States of America's picture

Just show how these effin assclowns are bitching about making more and more more money off other people.....when we should be more worried about important things going in such as Japan China tensions, weather trends that moves like the old stock market, youth unemployment in many countries, upcoming debt ceiling, the degradation in the quality of food.....

Watching this just makes me know who I need to take out first when shit really hits the fan.

Fri, 01/25/2013 - 14:26 | 3186019 Joe_in_Indiana
Joe_in_Indiana's picture

We are getting to what I call the "Rollerball" stage in our society.  Where is Jonathan E(James Caan) when we need him.

Fri, 01/25/2013 - 14:30 | 3186035 kliguy38
kliguy38's picture

You are in the last stages of the Supercycle 120 year collapse. Enjoy watching the Jackals fight over the remaining carcaas meat.....next they'll eat your bones.....THATS what Jackals do.

Fri, 01/25/2013 - 14:59 | 3186108 otto skorzeny
otto skorzeny's picture

James Caan-another macho preening wanna-be tough guy Jew

Fri, 01/25/2013 - 15:14 | 3186140 Bam_Man
Bam_Man's picture

And in his day, an actor's actor. Best ever performance  (of many great ones) was in "The Gambler" (1973).

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