Ultimate Hedge Fund Deathmatch: Icahn And Ackman As The Real Billionaire Husbands Of CNBC Going Wild

Tyler Durden's picture

Following the epic rap battle we noted yesterday, today saw probably the greatest, most enthralling and at the same time most pathetic segment on CNBC (which may or may not have been taken over by Jerry Springer's desperate for ratings producers) ever as 'Bullshitting' Bill Ackman took on 'Cry-baby' Carl Icahn in a no-holds-barred discussion that covered everything from religion, ethics, trust, blasphemy, greed, desperation, and independence. CNBC's Scott Wapner found himself in the middle of a clash of the titans. The full clip has to be seen to be believed but our bevvy of quotes, tweets, and quips should summarize what happens when two Billionaire BSDs get into a pissing competition live on TV.

 

 

 

  • *ICAHN SAYS HE 'HAS HAD WITH THIS GUY ACKMAN'
  • *ACKMAN SAYS ICAHN CHOOSE TO SUE HIM CAUSE HE IS A 'BULLY'
  • *ACKMAN SAYS LOEB WILL LOSE 'ENTIRE INVESTMENT'IF LONG HERBALIFE
  • *ACKMAN ON ICAHN: NOT A GOOD REPUTATION AS A `HANDSHAKE GUY'
  • *ACKMAN TELLS CNBC ICAHN 'DID ME A FAVOR' BY 'PICKING ON ME'

 

 

  • *ICAHN SAYS ACKMAN TAKES 'INORDINATE RISK'
  • *ACKMAN: ICAHN IS 'GREAT INVESTOR' BUT 'DOES NOT KEEP HIS WORD'
  • *ICAHN: HLF 'MAY ONE DAY BE THE MOTHER OF ALL SHORT SQUEEZES'
  • *ICAHN SAYS WOULDN'T INVEST WITH ACKMAN IF 'LAST MAN ON EARTH'

Part 1 - Ackman...

 

Part 2 - Icahn calls in and the real screaming begins:

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francis_sawyer's picture

I liked him in 'Brian's Song'...

~~~

You know ~ back in the day when it was OK for a Jew [playing a Wop], to tell Billy Dee Williams [after Gale Sayers had donated blood to Piccolo], that now he understood why he had a craving for 'chitlins'... & everyone actually laughed...

But nowadays is entirely different... The 'lighthearted' times are over... The system is breaking down & there's money to steal & guns to confiscate... It's FULL ON serious business & it's every man [& his brother] for himself...

Tinky's picture

A Courvoisier and Coke toast to you for the nuanced correction.

slaughterer's picture

Need Part 2 to hear the hedgefundbitchfight

ejmoosa's picture

Ackman is believable

Icahn is believable

Yikes's picture

Heard the thing over the radio in my car.  It was awesome.  A real bitch fight.

LongSoupLine's picture

Two fucking assholes... The worst part is MSM postertard, CNBC getting any attention. Fuckers.

bugs_'s picture

and i learn a new meaning for the acronym BSD

i need to become more careful and say Berkeley Unix

Agent P's picture

Let's settle this like men.  We'll go out back and take turns kicking each other in the nuts as hard as we can until one of us falls down...I'll go first.

Yikes's picture

Housewifes of Wall Street.

Rathmullan's picture

Can we get them in one of those iron caged rings and hand each of them a chain saw? But I'd rather see two banking heads in a death match.... of course you couldn't get them to fight one another....well... if enough money were at stake.

Meanwhile, good thing that aapl's problems are all company specific, no industry or economic headwind at all, apparently. That way amazon can trade at 72 times 2014 earnings...earnings that are estimated to more than double from very generous 2013 earnings estimates. At least I know where the aapl cap went.

NotApplicable's picture

I was reminded of the video "Two Tribes" by "Frankie goes to Hollywood."

www.youtube.com/watch?v=RTOQUnvI3CA

Dr. Engali's picture

Just reading the soundbites Ackman reads like a little pussy ...Icahn is a bully....he's picking on me? What are you a little metro-sexual crybaby? Grow a pair of nuts Ackman.

azzhatter's picture

Ackman does come across as a real pussy everytime I've seen him interviewed. Like to see him get run over by a garbage truck

azzhatter's picture

Ackman is such a smarmy little cocksucker. Icahn is such a smarmy cocksucker. Hard to choose a side

Dr. Engali's picture

I say thunderdome for both of them. Two smarmy cocksuckers enter...one smarmy cocksucker leaves.

francis_sawyer's picture

I say put 'em on either side of a rowboat [like that scene in "The Deep"] & have them break each other's necks...

ZeroAvatar's picture

They're both spewing enough pigshit to run Bartertown for months. (With Bama's permission, of course)

DrDinkus's picture

Oh manna shevitz!

TrumpXVI's picture

Why can't we all just be friends:-(

shovelhead's picture

Not quite as classy as street whores in a hair pulling contest ...

But close.

otto skorzeny's picture

2 cunty jews fighting over a penny-now you know how copper wire was invented

DavidC's picture

What the heck is 'Urbleife'?

DavidC

francis_sawyer's picture

It's Hebrew for "give me our money & I'll give you this snake oil in return"...

Squid Vicious's picture

How did a nice young German boy like Ackman get involved in running billions anyway? oh, wait....

NoDebt's picture

Very entertaining.  Who gives a crap about either of them?  You know what they're on there for and you know why.

Is anyone else bored the last few days around here?  Watching AAPL plummet isn't fun any more.  Watching the rest of the market going up isn't fun any more (please don't misunderstand, I'll still take the money).  Watching bonds do nothing isn't fun any more.  Watching gold churn and do nothing isn't fun any more.  Watching oil going up is depressing, but I'm the only one paying attention to it, so I've got nobody to talk to. 

Maybe I'll watch that clip one more time.  Squeeze the last bit of entertainment out of it for myself.

 

 

ZeroAvatar's picture

I'm with ya, no debt......we need some juicy action to spice things up around here.......something out of left field........anything.......

mkhs's picture

Be careful what you wish for!

Sweedumz's picture

Many years ago, I came across a quote on 4chan which perfectly sums up this story:

 

"Who is responsible for this faggotry?!"

 

Who indeed.

 

slightlyskeptical's picture

Where is Slats Grobnik when you need him?

Frederic Bastiat's picture

Ackman is right.  This thing is a pyramid. 

Bam_Man's picture

Yup.

And he was also right when he said it is "the best run Ponzi scheme in the history of the world". So shorting it at any given time is definitely playing with fire. Kind of leads one to believe that these guys (and Ackman in particular) are very much like compulsive gamblers.

spanish inquisition's picture

"the best run Ponzi scheme in the history of the world"

He better watch his mouth or Ben might get pissed and take him down.

HoaX's picture

Bill Ackman

CEO - Perishing share

EclecticParrot's picture

Even worse than seeing this Fatcats-with-Handbags spoiled sorority-girl slapfest is the self-flagellation of CNBS trumpeting the "best financial moment in TV history."  Oh, really?  With the markets and world economies at a major inflection point, you'd think they'd have something better to cover and, hence, their ratings issue as previously noted by the Tylers.  

Though I missed today's rock-em sock-em robot festival, I doubt it matched the importance of Jon Stewart eviscerating Cramer a few years ago.

Bokkenrijder's picture

"Errr...hello...?" Reminds me a bit of Beavis and Butthead working the drive through.

Carl is a pathetic schmuck, just look at TWA.

“Rebellion to tyranny is obedience to God.”-ThomasJefferson's picture
After listening to this cat fight on the television, while simultaneously trying to suck his own dick from his bean bag chair, the Honorable Charles Schumer,  in accordance with his Magnificence..... The Self-Revered Barack Obama, have hereby decreed to tax Icahn and Ackman 100% of their net worth.
Bam_Man's picture

Two greedy animals who don't know the meaning of the word "enough".

Bokkenrijder's picture

"Stop bullying me!" Hahaha! What a pathetic asshole is that Icahn boy!

I don't really give a rat's ass about either one of them, but Icahn simply doesn't appear to have any hard facts, so out of pure desperation he resorts to slander and acting like a cry-baby.

Eally Ucked's picture

That's picture of American business, it must be very bad when those dogs are going at each other throat. Good luck to all those american moms, paps, retirement funds and so on. Your future is good hands! At the end they still can retire to Sinay desert to increase head count there.

lizzy36's picture

They should settle this like all Big Swingin Dicks want to:with a ruler.

spanish inquisition's picture

Only if they want to measure each others stack of money, that's all they got left.

curbyourrisk's picture

Icahn is a douche!

HoaX's picture

Despite my earlier comment I do have to take Ackmans side in this one. Although its all nonsense in the end of course.

tradewithdave's picture

Get a life.... A Herbalife.