Bernanke To Oprah: "I've Been Doping for Years"

Tyler Durden's picture


Beginning with the "Yes or No" questions only, everyone's favorite talk-show host takes on The Bernank in this earth-shattering interview. While Lance Armstrong managed to keep the dream alive for over a decade as all around him showed point-blank-proof of artificial stimulation, it took Oprah to get the truth from his lips (oh and a USADA threat). It seems The Federal Reserve has been forced to 'fess up in this entertaining interview as Bernanke sits sobbing across from Ms. Winfrey - and comes clean to years of monetary policy artificial stimulation and performance-enhancing economic-doping. Just like Armstrong, Bernanke admits that it is widespread and that this generation of central bankers "all do it" as he notes that "some retard from the FT or NYT will write excruciatingly thoughtful op-eds about how this is actually a good thing." From the raging parties at Club-Fed to "good f##king times" with Alan Greenspan to "telling people to chillax and enjoy the good times" as the housing bubble popped, Bernanke leaves us with these chilling words: "Buy food, guns, and gold, this $hit is about to get real!" Print-strong.


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Mon, 01/28/2013 - 22:05 | 3193466 NemoDeNovo
NemoDeNovo's picture

FUCK You Bernak, and you too Oprah

Mon, 01/28/2013 - 22:09 | 3193473 Zer0head
Zer0head's picture

Welcome to America Houston (be patient this live video from earlier today takes a few seconds to come up and you need to be patient as the theme emerges)


when finished watching

read this

Mon, 01/28/2013 - 22:25 | 3193543 salvadordaly
salvadordaly's picture

You talk about a bird that is a great target. Shoot one bird, kill 6-8 intruders in one shot! Wish I had the fire power, I lost all mine in that tragic hunting trip where the truck rolled off into the river!

Mon, 01/28/2013 - 22:41 | 3193573 francis_sawyer
francis_sawyer's picture

Unrealistic Oprah ~ Her REAL ass would never fit in that chair...

Mon, 01/28/2013 - 22:54 | 3193599 I think I need ...
I think I need to buy a gun's picture

oprah has been gone for her island,,,,,,,,,,,,,where was this interview switzerland or south africa?

Tue, 01/29/2013 - 07:51 | 3194300 GetZeeGold
GetZeeGold's picture



100 years of central planning......shot straight to hell.

Tue, 01/29/2013 - 00:07 | 3193574 LongSoupLine
LongSoupLine's picture

I fucking hate that prick...even in cartoon form.


May you be tried, procecuted and hung from your neck till dead for financial treason against the United States you fucking piece of rat shit.



and fuck you Geithner, Krugman and Liesman for junking me...assholes.

Tue, 01/29/2013 - 06:59 | 3194198 Al Gorerhythm
Al Gorerhythm's picture

Who enabled that prick? Go to the source. Who legislated that entity the Federal Reserve the monopoly to take over the money supply of the nation? Who created a cartel in a free market. Who passed a treasonous law(?) that has been supported by every succeding president (perhaps not Kennedy, yet he wasn't vocal enough to let the nation know what was going on)?

Hand some prick a printing press and he'll pay you to shut the fuck up and support him. He'll pay some fuck to pass it into law. He'll pay some fuck to pass judgement on you for non-compliance. You are attacking the waterboy, although it's till a legitimate target.

Tue, 01/29/2013 - 05:17 | 3194220 Shylockracy
Shylockracy's picture

Please stop with this "hung from your neck till dead" nonsense.

He should be "hanged from [his] neck until dead" alright, but please leave the English language alone! /sarc

Tue, 01/29/2013 - 05:16 | 3194223 Daily Bail
Daily Bail's picture

Here's some truth Bernanke.  Data is from John Williams Shadow Gov't Stats.

CHART SHOCK: The REAL Inflation Rate Is 10%
Mon, 01/28/2013 - 23:29 | 3193726 Tango in the Blight
Tango in the Blight's picture

F TV and F Hollywood


Fuck you Bernanke


Mon, 01/28/2013 - 23:57 | 3193822 TheFourthStooge-ing
Mon, 01/28/2013 - 22:08 | 3193469 akak
akak's picture

Bernanke to the fiat-hoodwinked, government-loving American sheeple:

"You've all been dopes for years!"

Mon, 01/28/2013 - 22:10 | 3193484 Sellmoney
Sellmoney's picture

It's funny how thease cartoons get through to more sheeple than the actual statements.....  

Mon, 01/28/2013 - 22:48 | 3193583 Northern Lights
Northern Lights's picture

Yeah, no joke.  Most of the sheep get their news from The Corbert Report.

Tue, 01/29/2013 - 06:13 | 3194251 Disenchanted
Disenchanted's picture

You mean Colbert Report...


as opposed to the Corbett Report

Tue, 01/29/2013 - 08:12 | 3194318 GetZeeGold
GetZeeGold's picture



It's a news outfit......right?

Tue, 01/29/2013 - 08:22 | 3194328 Ghordius
Ghordius's picture

you can do much worse than getting all your news from the Colbert Report

of course it's "ideologically biased" if you aren't an American liberal, but they do try to be critical where they attack on both sides of the spectrum, and they do oppose obfuscation methods as used on the American "Right" (which imho is their biggest mistake)

all in all those two are some 75% honest (American liberal) commentators, imho

point in case: watch how Colbert ripped a new one out of Professor Paul Krugman's Platinum Coin "Solution"

Mon, 01/28/2013 - 22:53 | 3193597 Anusocracy
Anusocracy's picture

It undermines their authority.


Do you think that the Milgram Experiments would have gotten the same results if they had included people mocking the authority figures?

Mon, 01/28/2013 - 22:12 | 3193486 King_Julian
King_Julian's picture

It's funny. Nauseating too.

Mon, 01/28/2013 - 22:12 | 3193489 Seasmoke
Seasmoke's picture


Mon, 01/28/2013 - 22:29 | 3193542 palmereldritch
palmereldritch's picture


Mon, 01/28/2013 - 23:03 | 3193644 knowless
knowless's picture

just sell the bracelet idea on kickstarter everything willl be alright, k?

Mon, 01/28/2013 - 23:21 | 3193708 palmereldritch
palmereldritch's picture

Only available in FRN green.  May cause mild zombification or slight leprosy. 

Mon, 01/28/2013 - 22:19 | 3193498 CalibratedConfidence
CalibratedConfidence's picture

"pure, undiluted QE" and "lines of stimulus"

I'll take a few rails please

Mon, 01/28/2013 - 22:16 | 3193504 nmewn
nmewn's picture

Now this is more like it...almost as good as Steve Croft being the porn fluffer between Hillary & O'Barry ;-)

Mon, 01/28/2013 - 22:20 | 3193524 SloMoe
SloMoe's picture

Too bad "Fed-Head" and "Dead-Head" only rhyme...

Mon, 01/28/2013 - 22:31 | 3193532 Mercury
Mercury's picture

Thank You cartoon funny people!

Mon, 01/28/2013 - 22:24 | 3193533 The Axe
The Axe's picture

I need a silver bears fix

Mon, 01/28/2013 - 22:49 | 3193590 The Shootist
The Shootist's picture

Great vid. But shorten it or use "non-robots."

Mon, 01/28/2013 - 22:27 | 3193546 jplotinus
jplotinus's picture

The Misean solution of buying gold, ammo and food is not worthy. If Ls want to be taken seriously, a better approach than platitudes about the "private sector" and about " market forces" will be required. In the meantime, I call "bs" on Misean thought.

Mon, 01/28/2013 - 23:09 | 3193664 knowless
knowless's picture

wtf are you even talking about?


i deleted paragraphs for this responce.

Tue, 01/29/2013 - 17:26 | 3196296 Panafrican Funk...
Panafrican Funktron Robot's picture

Given that every major world religion, and the large majority of brilliant secular minds in our global history, considered debt to be the enemy of human freedom, it stands to reason that we should not be involved in fractional reserve banking.  Fuck the whole "us vs. them" argument in any context, get rid of fractional reserve banking, and a shitload of very bad problems go bye bye.

People are buying gold, ammo, and food, not because they "ascribe to a particular economic theory/theorist", they're doing it because they see the semi-truck heading directly towards them at 100 mph, and they are smart enough to get off the fucking road.  Rational actors.  Not that hard to understand dude.  Debt-based money is not sustainable, period.

Mon, 01/28/2013 - 22:31 | 3193554 PUD
PUD's picture

Pretty funny but there is no such thing as "artificial interest rates"

Making that statement assumes that there is some natural interest rate or some correct cost of money.

Interest rates are a zero sum game between debtor and creditor. It wouldn't matter if rates were 10% or 1% What one gains the other loses.

In the end it is all usury and it all ends up at the same place...peak debt. If rates were higher we'd reach peak debt sooner but even and near zero we will still get there and in fact have arrived.

This is why no amount of stimulus matters anymore

The usury, the money as debt system, the charging of interest, is the singular fundamental flaw in the entire scheme. It is math. Math doesn't lie.

Mon, 01/28/2013 - 23:58 | 3193823 Variance Doc
Variance Doc's picture

There *is* a natural interest rate - it is called the free market price of credit.  Since we live in the USSA (with the world's reserve currency), there is only the kommand market via the Feds near complete control of the yield curve; there is no market, only an aritficial market.  Wake up.

If we truly lived in a free capitalistic market, the savers would channel savings to productive means (true capital, not re-re-re-re-rehypothecated CDO, etc crap), where credit would be used produce a return (via productive means) above the market price of credit (a.k.a. interest).  Yes there would be failures, but that is a natural process, not something to abhor.

So, the problem is *not* interest, but the lack of REAL ASSETS in the world that back the loans/finalcial assets.  That is the fundamental flaw.  It's not math.  It's just allowing markets to function properly, i.e. clearing, and TPTB won't let that happen- it would expose them for what they truly are, worthless.

Don't even get me started on Mathematics...

Tue, 01/29/2013 - 00:14 | 3193871 AynRandFan
AynRandFan's picture

Excellent analysis. TPTB think there is no limit to the gullibility of currency users, for various reasons. Is there one?

Mon, 01/28/2013 - 22:34 | 3193555 williambanzai7
williambanzai7's picture

I wonder who thought of the Bernanke Oprah idea?


Mon, 01/28/2013 - 22:38 | 3193567 IridiumRebel
IridiumRebel's picture

Well played, William!

Mon, 01/28/2013 - 22:50 | 3193592 The Shootist
The Shootist's picture

When did you?

Mon, 01/28/2013 - 22:57 | 3193616 Zer0head
Zer0head's picture


Mon, 01/28/2013 - 23:36 | 3193759 williambanzai7
williambanzai7's picture

January 18, within hours of the broadcast, as was the ZH post.

Mon, 01/28/2013 - 22:57 | 3193611 Anusocracy
Anusocracy's picture

Hunter-gatherer and hunter-gatheress.

Mon, 01/28/2013 - 23:06 | 3193653 wisefool
wisefool's picture

William, your stuff is used everywhere, I saw one of your fiscal cliff masterpeices on my local WB network (hah) affiliate local news programs. It was beeing talked over by a freelance/syndicated guy on canned video who may or may not have had your permission, but he did not smudge out the signature.

Mon, 01/28/2013 - 23:38 | 3193764 williambanzai7
williambanzai7's picture

I know, I don't get twisted up about copyright nonsense, unless someone is trying to misappropriate credit.

Mon, 01/28/2013 - 23:12 | 3193680 knowless
knowless's picture


Mon, 01/28/2013 - 22:43 | 3193578 realtick
realtick's picture


Mon, 01/28/2013 - 22:47 | 3193580 caimen garou
caimen garou's picture

get dr phil to see if ben was abused as a kid, maybe he has a excuse for being such a dumb ass!

Mon, 01/28/2013 - 22:48 | 3193585 100pcDredge
100pcDredge's picture

 So... what's this? @2:15/16:

"Because I am German of the Federal Reserve... and people respect me. OK?"

And WTF is that supposed to mean?!


Very insulting - this video!!

Mon, 01/28/2013 - 23:10 | 3193668 the misanthrope
the misanthrope's picture

listen to it again - he says chairman - wtf is with you ?

Tue, 01/29/2013 - 00:13 | 3193868 LongSoupLine
LongSoupLine's picture

Holy shit, that's fucking funny.

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