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Cashin On Icahn Vs Ackman: "Like A Car Chase - And About As Meaningful"

Tyler Durden's picture


Cramer called it the greatest piece of financial TV history. He was the only one. Here is Art Cashin's take on last week's 1 hour slow motion trainwreck between Ackman and Icahn.

Stocks opened solidly better and began to build on those gains. Disappointing home sales at 10:00 seemed to dent the rally and stocks struggled through the morning, finally regaining the morning highs around noon.


Then came a rather bizarre TV soap opera. As someone on the floor called it, it was like Jerry Springer with limos.


Actually, on Jerry Springer, I am told, the protagonists are live and often rush to confront each other physically. Here they were formless voices that phoned their enmity in.


While it diverted trading desks and floors somewhat – like a car chase – it was about as meaningful. Traders wondered if the performance dented the confidence of mom and pop investors watching at home. It certainly didn't make the financial arena sound solid and businesslike.

Financial arena: "solid" and "businesslike?

Actually no Art, it showed the financial arena precisely for what it is: nothing more than an endless pissing match between the uber rich, who just happen to be the only ones left in this market, a market where investing is not based on fundamentals, but purely on ego trips to prove that i am right, and you are wrong, and naturally subsidized by every central planner's now endless dilution of fiat equivalents, everywhere.

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Mon, 01/28/2013 - 10:22 | 3191112 Faceman78
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Mon, 01/28/2013 - 10:24 | 3191114 Lohn Jocke
Lohn Jocke's picture

Finkle IS Einhorn.



Mon, 01/28/2013 - 11:17 | 3191276 ParkAveFlasher
ParkAveFlasher's picture

Tone-Loc's finest dramatic work.

Mon, 01/28/2013 - 10:24 | 3191116 Shizzmoney
Shizzmoney's picture

If Icahn and Ackman were in the same room, and a metorite fell killng both, would anyone care?

Mon, 01/28/2013 - 10:52 | 3191194 Azannoth
Azannoth's picture

This interview exposed how the Big-Business really works, it's all about who-knows-who, smoke filled backroom deals, insider trading etc.

It has nothing to do with who's the smartest, hardest working, talented trader.

And to think that people like that have most politicians in their back pockets should make everybody nauseous and very very scared.

Mon, 01/28/2013 - 11:16 | 3191271 Uncle Zuzu
Uncle Zuzu's picture

So true. The hedge fund business is first and foremost a relationship business, not an investment business.  Without their contacts, these guys couldn't find a good investment if it hit them in the face.

Mon, 01/28/2013 - 11:17 | 3191272 francis_sawyer
francis_sawyer's picture

 "If Icahn and Ackman were in the same room, and a metorite fell killng both, would anyone care?"


The meteorite would be pissed that it wasted it's awesome destructive power on a pair of twat waffles...

Mon, 01/28/2013 - 11:23 | 3191305 redpill
redpill's picture

Yes I would care, I'd be fucking ecstatic.

Mon, 01/28/2013 - 11:34 | 3191331 augustus caesar
augustus caesar's picture

Somebody else mentioned thunder dome earlier. God that would be great with the bungee cords and chainsaws and everything. I'd take thunder dome or a prize fight between Ackman, Icahn, and 1990's era Mike Tyson.

Mon, 01/28/2013 - 10:24 | 3191119 gsh1976
gsh1976's picture

Change the title to Ackman instead of Einhorn.

Mon, 01/28/2013 - 11:03 | 3191181 Mercury
Mercury's picture

Einhorn's presence is germane to the subject at hand actually since it is he who implores us that talking about investing and investments is a good thing - something that Ackman applied a good faith effort toward and Icahn did very little of last Friday.

Mon, 01/28/2013 - 10:26 | 3191122 BaggerDon
BaggerDon's picture

It showed the truth, a circus, and Cramer is a rodeo clown...

Mon, 01/28/2013 - 10:49 | 3191185 apoorboy
apoorboy's picture

rodeo clowns have skin in the game!


Mon, 01/28/2013 - 10:27 | 3191126 GetZeeGold
GetZeeGold's picture



It's the New York version of the Hatfields & McCoys.

Mon, 01/28/2013 - 10:45 | 3191182 Papasmurf
Papasmurf's picture

This is the billionaire version of a food fight.

Mon, 01/28/2013 - 10:48 | 3191184 GetZeeGold
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This can only mean one thing......it's time for Thunderdome.

Mon, 01/28/2013 - 11:17 | 3191283 francis_sawyer
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Goodie started it...

Mon, 01/28/2013 - 10:26 | 3191132 jdelano
jdelano's picture

"Actually no Art, it showed the financial arena precisely for what it is: nothing more than an endless pissing match between the uber rich, who just happen to be the only ones left in this market, a market where investing is not based on fundamentals, but purely on ego trips to prove that i am right, and you are wrong, and naturally subsidized by every central planner's now endless dilution of fiat equivalents, everywhere."


This is either Tyler at his very best, or the very best Tyler nailing a perfect paragraph.  

Mon, 01/28/2013 - 11:16 | 3191273 DeadFred
DeadFred's picture

In any pissing match the worst place to be is the middle.

Mon, 01/28/2013 - 10:37 | 3191150 Herodotus
Herodotus's picture

I can just see these guys at the death camp standing in line for a "shower" and agruing with each other about which one had cut into the line to get their shower first.

Mon, 01/28/2013 - 10:40 | 3191168 azzhatter
azzhatter's picture

I'd just like to see them in line at the death camp

Mon, 01/28/2013 - 10:59 | 3191217 ToNYC
ToNYC's picture

To wish one is to live in one. resident manager maybe?

Mon, 01/28/2013 - 10:41 | 3191167 Chippewa Partners
Chippewa Partners's picture

Do big hitters actually give money to clowns like that?  They must be the ones who do the whale trades at GS.      Cramers due diligence was only how much IPO biz could he buy with flow, Michael was a good teacher.........just another old cartoon character from the Squid whose time is up. 

Mon, 01/28/2013 - 10:41 | 3191169 caimen garou
caimen garou's picture

pissing match between the uber rich! pinky finger up while holding that thing! MSM or should I say  OWNO( one world news order ) as they all spew the same shit out of their filthy pie holes!

Mon, 01/28/2013 - 10:55 | 3191191 ToNYC
ToNYC's picture

Ackman says MLM is broken business model.

Man takes swing at MLM and all they saw was the money flying between which is the only game they see in NY. The facts are goods in trade and gentlemen will avoid their disparaging nature.

MLM blows!

Mon, 01/28/2013 - 10:53 | 3191205 Uncle Zuzu
Uncle Zuzu's picture

Any article which starts with "Cramer called it..." is basically begging readers NOT to continue reading.

Mon, 01/28/2013 - 10:56 | 3191211 ebworthen
ebworthen's picture


Mon, 01/28/2013 - 10:54 | 3191206 ebworthen
ebworthen's picture

Please God, tell me that Bob Pisani is wrong about record inflows into mutual funds by retail investors.

Mon, 01/28/2013 - 10:57 | 3191215 LawsofPhysics
LawsofPhysics's picture

Every 401ker in the country I talk too is still forced to play the market.  Everyone under 40 still 70:30 stocks:bonds.  The corporation owns your government.  They have made sure everyone comes in their casino and plays.  Isn't fascism great?

Mon, 01/28/2013 - 11:01 | 3191225 ToNYC
ToNYC's picture

Marx I believe said that it helps to call the serfs as partners, since it makes them feel better and work more in peace.

Mon, 01/28/2013 - 11:01 | 3191227 jmcadg
jmcadg's picture

How about 0:0:90:10  - Stocks:Bonds:PMs:Cash

Mon, 01/28/2013 - 10:55 | 3191207 LawsofPhysics
LawsofPhysics's picture

Tell us Art, what is the "price" of something no one wants?  Even better Art, what is the "price" of something I refuse to sell?

Mon, 01/28/2013 - 11:00 | 3191219 jmcadg
jmcadg's picture

'Cramer called it the greatest piece of financial TV history' Twat. 

Bearing in mind they were both on the phone, so as a piece of TV it was utter shit. 

As a piece of audio, all I could hear was a cat whining (Icahn), and some traders gfawwing in the background.

If this put Mom and Pop off, but MF Global didn't, then we are truly in bizarro world ... we are.

Mon, 01/28/2013 - 11:02 | 3191226 Quinvarius
Quinvarius's picture

I watched a NOVA special called "Mind Over Money" that was helpful in confirming they trade to make other people lose at cost to themselves as often as they try to win.  That is probably why it is so easy to just make money coldly taking the other side of irrational ego or nonsense philosophy driven interventions.

Mon, 01/28/2013 - 11:02 | 3191229 wisefool
wisefool's picture

Biggest themes in that whole thing was "We had a handshake agreement" "I would not do business with you if you paid me" "I have the best lawyer in the world, but he missed this" "You are a bully, no you are a bully!, no the host is a bully!" "Thank you for your time Mr. Ackerman and Mr. Icahn, we hope you will come back on our show" ... "But you did not thank ME for MY time!"

All considered, I'd probably trust this paridigm more than the public sector. Hank "tanks in the streets" Paulson, followed by a retard who does not numberstand (sic) turbotax. Followed by a guy with the signature of somebody even more retared. Even illiterate people can assertively draw an X.

Mon, 01/28/2013 - 11:16 | 3191277 Papasmurf
Papasmurf's picture

These two clowns only harvest productivity of others.  They contribute nothing to society.

Mon, 01/28/2013 - 11:35 | 3191333 myptofvu
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Yes but the question remains..."Is Herbalife a Pyramid Scheme OR is this just a pump and dump scheme being portrayed for profits"?

Mon, 01/28/2013 - 12:29 | 3191569 Russian ISDA MA
Russian ISDA MA's picture

Are Ackman and Icahn in Cahoots: Scheme to Dispose Herbalife Shares of Group?  How else are you going to create a bid in a ponzi concern large enough to sell out before it tanks?  


Mon, 01/28/2013 - 13:03 | 3191704 Apocalicious
Apocalicious's picture

Yes, yes, and yes. But as far as trashy behavior from people no better than the proletariat despite their hubris and protestations to the contrary, it was friggin hilarious! Schadenfreude? Admittedly, but entertaining nonetheless.

A whiney arrogant prick and a grumpy, foul-mouthed idiot. A plague a' both your houses!

Mon, 01/28/2013 - 15:42 | 3192299 larz
larz's picture

lets find a buttonwood tree and meet there to trade our own financial instruments and not invite these nipple noses or their ilk

Mon, 01/28/2013 - 15:50 | 3192336 Catflappo
Catflappo's picture

"mom and pop investors watching at home"


Who are they f**king kidding???

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