• Knave Dave
    05/23/2016 - 18:16
    This past Thursday marked the one-year anniversary of the US stock market’s death when stocks saw their last high. Market bulls have spent a year looking like the walking dead. They’ve...

Amazon Misses, Growth Slows, Guides Lower, P/E Goes Negative And Stock Soars

Tyler Durden's picture


The most cartoonish stock of all time just came out with results that can only be characterized as WTF. To wit:

  • Q4 revenue of $21.27 billion missed expectations of $22.23 billion
  • Q1 EPS of $0.21 missed expectations of $0.27;
  • The firm guided top-line lower, seeing Q1 sales of $15-$16 billion, below the estimate of $16.5 billion
  • The firm guided operating income much lower, seeing Q1 op income of ($285)-$65 Million on expectations of $261.4 MM
  • The firm said the its physical books sales had the lowest growth in 17 years
  • Total employees grew by 7,000 in the quarter and 32,200 Y/Y to a record 88,400
  • Worldwide net sales Y/Y growth was the slowest in years at 23%, down from 30% in Q3 and 34% a year ago
  • And, last and certainly least, LTM Net Income is now officially negative, or ($49) meaning as of this moment the firm with the idiotically high PE has an even more idiotic N/M PE.

... And the stock is soaring in the after hours. Thank you DE Shaw, or actually that is Mr. Bezos who should thank you for the latest AH favor where accelerated HFT buying creates the impression that the numbers were good. They weren't.

Some of the charts accompanying this farce.

Total Employees and Worldwide net sales growth:

Operating and Net Income

LTM Operating Income Margin %

Operating Income Margin % by Quarter

AMZN Free Cash Flow as defined: EBITDA - CapEx

And LTM Net Income

Which means Market Cap to Net Income, or P/E, is now negative, or as it is better known in the industry: N/M.

And now ignore reality: after all the thesis is that the more AMZN loses, the more of its competitors will supposedly go out of business, and greater AMZN's pricing power eventually.

Just not yet.

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Tue, 01/29/2013 - 17:26 | 3196290 Water Is Wet
Water Is Wet's picture

This is what winning feels like.  Welcome to the "No P/E" club Amazon!

Tue, 01/29/2013 - 17:26 | 3196293 camaro68ss
camaro68ss's picture


Im in a F***ing MAD HOUSE!

Tue, 01/29/2013 - 17:33 | 3196323 Pool Shark
Pool Shark's picture



"We first had to destroy the company... in order to save the company..."



Tue, 01/29/2013 - 17:35 | 3196333 fourchan
fourchan's picture

this ah action is like two algos fucking a football.

Tue, 01/29/2013 - 17:48 | 3196411 Divided States ...
Divided States of America's picture

If i were an investment banking analyst, this would be my favorite stock to cover because I just slap on a STRONG BUY rating and basically ratchet up the Target Price 20 bucks every quarterly earnings report is announced.

No need to look at financials, ratios or metrics....nothing...the analytical work on AMZN entails just browsing the amazon.com site and seeing whats the 'deal of the day' is.

Tue, 01/29/2013 - 18:44 | 3196601 NotApplicable
NotApplicable's picture

Best worst news, EVAR!

Tue, 01/29/2013 - 19:04 | 3196684 CPL
CPL's picture

Hooray!  Burn Rate FTW!  Which would be a great thing for a start up fucking around with VC money...

Except it's publicly traded with pension money, most large portfolios and Algos flipping it.

Tue, 01/29/2013 - 19:16 | 3196729 James_Cole
James_Cole's picture

These are GREAT numbers! As is traditional with Amazon, the more earnings drops the higher the stock climbs.

Based on these stellar numbers we can look forward to $400 Amzn in the near future! I'm just crossing my fingers they can do even worse when reporting q2, potential $1000 stock if they get down to 5c. Bezos has my full confidence. 

Wed, 01/30/2013 - 02:12 | 3197927 Rathmullan
Rathmullan's picture

Well why wouldn't it soar. I mean afterall, you're only talking about about 167 times 2013's earnings estimate which has a range wide enough to drive mayez bloombergersteinsky's ego thru (in other words "I duhno). Besides, amzn has only been around for a mere 15 years so its best hyperbolic lies ahead as internet access penetration is only nine percent (or is it ninety percent) of households.

So a no name wanna name chop shop foils bezos's rare "let's pull this bitch out of the stratosphere" moment. That perfectly sums up the market we're in says me.  

Tue, 01/29/2013 - 18:39 | 3196588 ZippyBananaPants
ZippyBananaPants's picture

Isnt that something how in the last minute they hit all the stop orders to $260 and then its back at 285 after hours? 

Almost like cheating?

Tue, 01/29/2013 - 18:39 | 3196589 ZippyBananaPants
ZippyBananaPants's picture

Isnt that something how in the last minute they hit all the stop orders to $260 and then its back at 285 after hours? 

Almost like cheating?

Tue, 01/29/2013 - 19:07 | 3196697 CPL
CPL's picture

And that's why shorting anything or going long on anything is completely and totally insane for anyone that wants to keep their money, status and roof over their heads.


Stay out of the pool, it's infected with plague.

Tue, 01/29/2013 - 21:35 | 3197256 Marge N Call
Marge N Call's picture

+100. THAT was fucking funny! I mean, honestly, who here has never fucked a football? Oh, I mean...nothing.


Tue, 01/29/2013 - 21:03 | 3197132 Buck Johnson
Buck Johnson's picture

Amazon is the online version of Walmart.  When Amazon is having trouble then the rest are having trouble also.  We are  in trouble.

Wed, 01/30/2013 - 01:08 | 3197840 SokPOTUS
SokPOTUS's picture

well....stop trading with Jim Cramer....

Tue, 01/29/2013 - 17:30 | 3196307 slaughterer
slaughterer's picture

Imagine if AMZN made even less money, had even lower revenues, and an even lower (negative) margin--then we would be flying above $1,000 by now!

Tue, 01/29/2013 - 17:39 | 3196360 Cdad
Cdad's picture

When does AMZN start crediting my account when I buy something from them?

Tue, 01/29/2013 - 23:00 | 3197536 CPL
CPL's picture


Tue, 01/29/2013 - 18:04 | 3196470 Squid Vicious
Squid Vicious's picture

Bezos just announced he's selling half his remaining shares to build another spaceship... should see $300/ share tomorrow

Tue, 01/29/2013 - 18:16 | 3196509 Pure Evil
Pure Evil's picture

Amazon is the new Apple, or was Apple the old Amazon, or is Apple the new/old Amazon.

Oh my, I'm confused now, is it time for my meds?

Tue, 01/29/2013 - 19:03 | 3196682 EclecticParrot
EclecticParrot's picture

It's actually quite simple in the convoluted world of institutional investing:  one can easily imagine a strong competitor for AAPL (some would say Sammy-sung), while no one can honestly picture, even if we go 78% mobile, a true threat to what AMZN does.  Face-broke?  Nope.  Googly?  Naw.  eeeeBay?  Please!  

For two, perhaps three decades hence, folks will visit their hallowed site first for everything from razor blades (Gillette 7 O'clock blacks or Astras, anyone?) to blenders to collectibles (like a Nick Drake box set on original vinyl).  eBay's "buy now" button can't compete with a list of dozens of "market place sellers" with used versions of any item you want.

So, lazy institution investors and hedgie-wedgies use AAPL to play let's-build-a-big-campfire-in-front-of-a-train, fucking each other with stop runs, VWAP algos, and nod-and-a-wink frothy collusion, while AMZN is a 'core holding' they don't have to ever look at more than once a decade to "trim".

Even so, I believe it is, in fact, time for your meds, for if you visit this site you must be a follower of these ludicrous markets, which have visitors from other planets (the ones who originally seeded Earth with amino acids and other building blocks eons ago) laughing their body parts off (no, they don't really have asses, per say).

Thus, it'll lick 300 tomorrow, then sell off 15%.



Tue, 01/29/2013 - 19:09 | 3196707 CPL
CPL's picture

...in thirty years I bet more kids will know how to bridle and saddle a horse than know what an 'internet' is.

Tue, 01/29/2013 - 19:39 | 3196812 EclecticParrot
EclecticParrot's picture

Given our fiscal trajectory, no one will be able to afford horses at that point.  Plus, real things that move, snort and poop in big heaps (no, not finance ministers) won't appeal to generation YYY.  Instead, they'll just buy the "Horsey" app for 88c.

Wed, 01/30/2013 - 01:12 | 3197850 SokPOTUS
SokPOTUS's picture

Nah...all the horses will be eaten by then...

Tue, 01/29/2013 - 20:29 | 3197009 chubbyjjfong
chubbyjjfong's picture

They have that fantastic, inversly proportional, bilateral agreement with Apple.  You scratch my back.. I'll lick your balls.

Tue, 01/29/2013 - 17:34 | 3196338 Xibalba
Xibalba's picture

don't let facts fool you!

Tue, 01/29/2013 - 18:03 | 3196466 cynicalskeptic
cynicalskeptic's picture

Listening to Bloomberg and the cable types you'd think that things are great!  really, really GREAT!  

Tue, 01/29/2013 - 17:58 | 3196441 LongSoupLine
LongSoupLine's picture

What the Fuck...


Fuck it...I'm going out and drinking heavy tonight until I shit my pants.

You guys are welcome to fucking join me if you want.

Tue, 01/29/2013 - 18:16 | 3196510 mirac
mirac's picture


Tue, 01/29/2013 - 18:17 | 3196516 graneros
graneros's picture

Ya know as much fun as that sounds, I uh think I'm gonna have to pass.  But hey you have a good time.  You might want to think about hitting the town wearing something like coveralls. +1

Tue, 01/29/2013 - 18:21 | 3196527 Squid Vicious
Squid Vicious's picture

already accomplished both today without leaving the house.... 

Tue, 01/29/2013 - 19:09 | 3196706 flacon
flacon's picture

My wife wonders why I start drinking at 9:30:01 AM...

Tue, 01/29/2013 - 19:45 | 3196839 eclectic syncretist
eclectic syncretist's picture

Party at Jeff Bezos tonight bitchez!


Wed, 01/30/2013 - 01:15 | 3197857 SokPOTUS
SokPOTUS's picture

Some chicks like that.  You might get lucky.

Tue, 01/29/2013 - 19:34 | 3196797 bobthehorse
bobthehorse's picture

It's crazy.

I'm afraid to do anything with my money.

Fraud is far too rampant.

So I just keep the green in my matress.



Tue, 01/29/2013 - 17:29 | 3196301 JustPrintMoreDuh
JustPrintMoreDuh's picture

Bullshit? no Bullish!  Buy MOAR.  #Forward.

Tue, 01/29/2013 - 17:40 | 3196376 max2205
max2205's picture

Open AH drop to 250 then the tape said margins grew......and poof....290.  

Can you say 2001?

Tue, 01/29/2013 - 17:29 | 3196302 the not so migh...
the not so mighty maximiza's picture

i love companies that don't make money, i am going all in.

Tue, 01/29/2013 - 17:31 | 3196320 Sudden Debt
Sudden Debt's picture

damn... there's not enough stock for everybody...


Tue, 01/29/2013 - 17:40 | 3196372 Cdad
Cdad's picture

Probably.  First, the absolute worst of the worst within the criminal syndicate known as Wall Street need to UPGRADE the stock and RAISE PRICE TARGETS.  That'll be fun to watch.

Tue, 01/29/2013 - 17:29 | 3196303 Dr. Engali
Dr. Engali's picture

It's all about eyeballs...millions upon millions of eyeballs..Who needs profits when you have eyeballs?

Tue, 01/29/2013 - 17:35 | 3196344 EscapeKey
EscapeKey's picture


Tue, 01/29/2013 - 18:03 | 3196467 Groundhog Day
Groundhog Day's picture

How many hits did you get on the website?

Is Brick and mortar gonna be dead?


Tue, 01/29/2013 - 18:16 | 3196513 Pure Evil
Pure Evil's picture

Well, as long as those millions of eyeballs aren't watching me do nasty things in the bathroom........on second thought!

Tue, 01/29/2013 - 17:32 | 3196306 EscapeKey
EscapeKey's picture

Clearly, a 50% miss was already priced in.

SHEESH up 11%? Does this madhouse know no borders?

Tue, 01/29/2013 - 17:42 | 3196383 Cdad
Cdad's picture

Nope...not while the criminal syndicate is in the process of gathering up the world's assets...with all of it being paid for by the depreciation of Average Joe's green back.

Thank you, Ben Bernanke, for this wasteland you have created for us.

Tue, 01/29/2013 - 18:11 | 3196493 Hedgetard55
Hedgetard55's picture

+55 kajillion, Cdad.


Too many financial "experts" do not understand where the purchasing power of newly printed FRNs actually comes from!

Tue, 01/29/2013 - 17:30 | 3196308 dime2962
dime2962's picture

Must be because of the complete lack of service they provide for the Kindle Fire. A device  they sell so you will buy buy buy everything you need on amazon. 

Tue, 01/29/2013 - 17:30 | 3196309 SeverinSlade
SeverinSlade's picture

I don't see how anyone can justify going long AMZN at these levels.  Where's robotrader when you need him?

Tue, 01/29/2013 - 17:47 | 3196405 Midas
Midas's picture

Does that happen?

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