Amazon Misses, Growth Slows, Guides Lower, P/E Goes Negative And Stock Soars

Tyler Durden's picture




 

The most cartoonish stock of all time just came out with results that can only be characterized as WTF. To wit:

  • Q4 revenue of $21.27 billion missed expectations of $22.23 billion
  • Q1 EPS of $0.21 missed expectations of $0.27;
  • The firm guided top-line lower, seeing Q1 sales of $15-$16 billion, below the estimate of $16.5 billion
  • The firm guided operating income much lower, seeing Q1 op income of ($285)-$65 Million on expectations of $261.4 MM
  • The firm said the its physical books sales had the lowest growth in 17 years
  • Total employees grew by 7,000 in the quarter and 32,200 Y/Y to a record 88,400
  • Worldwide net sales Y/Y growth was the slowest in years at 23%, down from 30% in Q3 and 34% a year ago
  • And, last and certainly least, LTM Net Income is now officially negative, or ($49) meaning as of this moment the firm with the idiotically high PE has an even more idiotic N/M PE.

... And the stock is soaring in the after hours. Thank you DE Shaw, or actually that is Mr. Bezos who should thank you for the latest AH favor where accelerated HFT buying creates the impression that the numbers were good. They weren't.

Some of the charts accompanying this farce.

Total Employees and Worldwide net sales growth:

Operating and Net Income

LTM Operating Income Margin %

Operating Income Margin % by Quarter

AMZN Free Cash Flow as defined: EBITDA - CapEx

And LTM Net Income

Which means Market Cap to Net Income, or P/E, is now negative, or as it is better known in the industry: N/M.

And now ignore reality: after all the thesis is that the more AMZN loses, the more of its competitors will supposedly go out of business, and greater AMZN's pricing power eventually.

Just not yet.

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Tue, 01/29/2013 - 18:30 | 3196560 ihedgemyhedges
ihedgemyhedges's picture

Robo is looking at his AMZN after hours streaming quote screen and is rubbing one out.  Let's just leave him alone for a while..........

Wed, 01/30/2013 - 01:18 | 3197863 SokPOTUS
SokPOTUS's picture

The dumb bastard is laughing his ass off at all of us right now...

Tue, 01/29/2013 - 17:30 | 3196310 astoriajoe
astoriajoe's picture

I'm sure the feds pay them nicely for providing lists of what everyone buys.

Wed, 01/30/2013 - 01:20 | 3197868 SokPOTUS
SokPOTUS's picture

2,176 copies of 'Catcher In the Rye'.  Nothing else.

Tue, 01/29/2013 - 17:31 | 3196314 Sudden Debt
Sudden Debt's picture

since Harry Potter... people stopped reading books...

Tue, 01/29/2013 - 17:33 | 3196327 Dr. Engali
Dr. Engali's picture

 Wuts a buuk?

Tue, 01/29/2013 - 17:35 | 3196347 Sudden Debt
Sudden Debt's picture

those bundeled papers with black and white line drawings that you need to colour with your crayons.
If you can keep in the lines, there's a job waiting for you at McDonalds or Wallstreet!

Tue, 01/29/2013 - 17:31 | 3196317 lizzy36
lizzy36's picture

19 years and next quarter forecast: negative operating income.

Stock is an eternal mystery. 

How do we do it:WOLUME.

Tue, 01/29/2013 - 17:32 | 3196318 SeverinSlade
SeverinSlade's picture

Step 1: Steal underpants (using a larger and larger workforce that helps translate into negative net income)
Step 2: -------
Step 3: Profit and a surging stock.

Don't argue with the Amazon gnomes.

Tue, 01/29/2013 - 21:41 | 3197273 Marge N Call
Marge N Call's picture

Fuck you pussy. With your little pussy P/E calculations. Little pussy investors afraid of losing money for 20 years. Pussy Gnomes.

Tue, 01/29/2013 - 17:32 | 3196324 slaughterer
slaughterer's picture

I love it: AMZN is the poster child of the Bernanke market and the Obama society.  It epitomizes every aspect of the absurd situation of capital and retail markets.  It is absolutely without peer in the George Constanza world we live in.  

Tue, 01/29/2013 - 17:35 | 3196340 ziggy59
ziggy59's picture

Bizarro George Constanza

Tue, 01/29/2013 - 17:35 | 3196349 EscapeKey
EscapeKey's picture

Double bubble stock.

Tue, 01/29/2013 - 19:18 | 3196738 Whiteshadowmovement
Whiteshadowmovement's picture

Slaughterer I love ya man! Youre one of the few who truly gets itM

Wed, 01/30/2013 - 01:23 | 3197875 SokPOTUS
SokPOTUS's picture

AMZN is more like that chick Jerry Seinfeld dated that looked hot in poor lighting and scary as hell as soon as you got a look in different light.

Take AMZN out of the club and into the corridor, and eeehhhhhh-hhhhh-hh-hh-hh-hhhhh.

 

Tue, 01/29/2013 - 17:33 | 3196325 Cursive
Cursive's picture

Up 11% as I type.  UFB.  Impossible.  Uh...I'm speechless.

Tue, 01/29/2013 - 17:33 | 3196329 Sudden Debt
Sudden Debt's picture

As Amazon is one of the 12 internet hubs, this doesn't bode well for e-commerce in general.

EBAY =>.....

Tue, 01/29/2013 - 17:34 | 3196330 Conman
Conman's picture

And there is your dot.com bubble 2.0 moment.

Tue, 01/29/2013 - 17:38 | 3196355 ziggy59
ziggy59's picture

Exactly... Wasnt it AMZN that started the dotcum bubble with Blahgit calling for AMZN 300?

History repeats...

Tue, 01/29/2013 - 21:42 | 3197278 Marge N Call
Marge N Call's picture

Yep, it repeats, just like shitty pasta salad.

Tue, 01/29/2013 - 18:49 | 3196622 Osmium
Osmium's picture

Yep.  It's the same thing.  In the .com bubble you had stocks that NEVER had positive earnings soaring to new heights.  JDSU anyone?

Tue, 01/29/2013 - 18:22 | 3196331 Ham-bone
Ham-bone's picture

Umm...isn't this how most HYPERINFLATIONS progress??? 

QE4EVER really does mean more quantity of money chasing fixed # of assets...regardless of their quality.  Bernank said there will be inflation...Bernank made sure everyone receives no yield and everyone into Risk...Everyday bank excess reserves climb further...everyday that money seems to find it's way into Risk assets...Those w/ the money first benefit the most...

Seem to recall Weimar stock market going vertical.  Funnny thing is hyperinflation seemed to actual acheive a select groups goals in Germany (those w/ capital, land, stocks, PM's, assets abroad) and didn't destroy the country...that's how unmanagable debt was and seemingly is managed. 

It's only the middle class, the poor who are destroyed but thats how unpayable debts are cancelled.  Why can't we simply call a hyperinflationary period a policy goal...it's that obvious.

US has $8+T of short term T debt and Fed owns none of it thanks to Op Twist...if Fed allows rates up on the short end that's $3T+ of 3yr and shorter debt rolling up from current net .25% to .5% or 1% or heaven forbid '07 like 5%...no, no increasing rates.  Just flood the world w/ dollars and drown all debts.

Tue, 01/29/2013 - 17:34 | 3196332 slaughterer
slaughterer's picture

BEZOS: "PROFIT IS FOR LOSERS LIKE APPLE."  

Tue, 01/29/2013 - 17:43 | 3196385 in-Credible Banker
in-Credible Banker's picture

+1500 PE

Tue, 01/29/2013 - 18:12 | 3196501 Ham-bone
Ham-bone's picture

PE showing as +3245???

Tue, 01/29/2013 - 21:43 | 3197279 Marge N Call
Marge N Call's picture

WINNING!!!

Tue, 01/29/2013 - 17:34 | 3196336 thismarketisrigged
thismarketisrigged's picture

bernanke owns a ton of amzn, lol;

 

how is this even possible. they missed badly on both the bottom and top line, guidance sucked, this is like the 20 qtr in a row of misses, yet they get rewarded but the stock prob going to 300 on this?

 

i can only imagine what would happen if they actually beat expectations, we would prob say a plus 200,lol.

 

this stuff is so comical, i cant anymore

Tue, 01/29/2013 - 17:39 | 3196337 Squid Vicious
Squid Vicious's picture

who the fuck is buying this!!!???? just added 30 billion in mkt cap since mid november...

Tue, 01/29/2013 - 18:51 | 3196644 NotApplicable
NotApplicable's picture

Just everyone's retirement funds. Don't worry, it's cool.

Wed, 01/30/2013 - 01:25 | 3197878 SokPOTUS
SokPOTUS's picture

Rotation.  It's what happens just before the bottom falls out.  Of Everything.

Tue, 01/29/2013 - 17:35 | 3196342 JB10
JB10's picture

Bear capitulation

Tue, 01/29/2013 - 17:35 | 3196343 sitenine
sitenine's picture

Breaking: Amazon beats out both Apple and Facebook for Poster Child of The New Normal. The Bernank is expected to announce that the Fed will begin direct equity purchases of the company later this afternoon!

Tue, 01/29/2013 - 17:35 | 3196346 Clowns on Acid
Clowns on Acid's picture

Hey Tyler- It could have been worse so....buy buy buy.

Tue, 01/29/2013 - 17:35 | 3196348 monopoly
monopoly's picture

Unfucking believable. Only on Wall Street can you find this kind of value.

Tue, 01/29/2013 - 17:36 | 3196351 Frank N. Beans
Frank N. Beans's picture

it's gotta be a knee-jerk

tomorrow it gets slaughtered... finally

Tue, 01/29/2013 - 17:38 | 3196361 thismarketisrigged
thismarketisrigged's picture

disagree frank n beans. i hope u r right, but i have seen this too often with amzn, qtr after qtr missing badly, yet stock shoots up 7 plus percent. its sickening.

Tue, 01/29/2013 - 17:37 | 3196353 buzzsaw99
buzzsaw99's picture

AMaZiNg, stUPendouS, rally on bitchez!

Tue, 01/29/2013 - 18:36 | 3196578 candyman
candyman's picture

Reminds me of McCaw Cellular in the late 80's but only 3,000 x's worse.

Tue, 01/29/2013 - 17:43 | 3196354 francis_sawyer
francis_sawyer's picture

Was this on the "Conviction Muppet Buy" list? [brought to you by those deeply conscientious ANALysts who work hard for the money]?... 

~~~

You'd better 'treat 'her RIGHT'

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4DsNn1NzxJ8

Tue, 01/29/2013 - 17:38 | 3196357 jubber
jubber's picture

Guess you got to be sick as a dog if you were short, you see those shite figures and think you have made a killing and then discover you just had your arseholle ripped out with barbed wire!

Tue, 01/29/2013 - 17:40 | 3196375 thismarketisrigged
thismarketisrigged's picture

jubber, i have thought about in the past of shorting amzn, but seeing to often what happens when they miss badly qtr after qtr yet stock still shoots up, its not worth it.

 

this scenario was so predictable, i knew, along with many others prob they were going to miss badly, but somehow the stock soars.

 

i hate appl with a passion, but that company still has phenominal revenue ( 4th most in history behind only oil companies for a qtr) yet that stock drops 12 percent.

 

amzn misses everywhere,and it soars. makes no sense

Tue, 01/29/2013 - 18:55 | 3196654 NotApplicable
NotApplicable's picture

Apple's time is coming.

(And by that I mean, their stock will soar once they start losing money too.)

Wed, 01/30/2013 - 01:27 | 3197881 SokPOTUS
SokPOTUS's picture

are you the jubber from market-ticker?

Tue, 01/29/2013 - 17:41 | 3196362 CaptainSpaulding
CaptainSpaulding's picture

Bezos is da man who gets me my shit .. Thanks Mr. Bozos

Tue, 01/29/2013 - 17:38 | 3196364 otto skorzeny
otto skorzeny's picture

another puzzler like YAHOO!-what has that dumb whore marissa mayer done to double that POS in the last year?

Tue, 01/29/2013 - 17:41 | 3196377 Squid Vicious
Squid Vicious's picture

tribal ritual that you'll never be invited to

Wed, 01/30/2013 - 01:27 | 3197883 SokPOTUS
SokPOTUS's picture

hahahaha!  Nice.

Tue, 01/29/2013 - 17:39 | 3196369 JB10
JB10's picture

Numbers missed slightly but are still record for Amazon. Guidance weak but Bezos loves to guide low - it's what he does. Stock down nearly 6% today. Just seeing some short covering on thin vol.

Tue, 01/29/2013 - 17:39 | 3196370 King_Julian
King_Julian's picture

I used to short AMZN in the late 90's. A buddy and I looked at it and said "no way this company makes it. It's a $12 stock." It was somewhere around $120 or so at the time. Lost my ass. I still can't find it.

Tue, 01/29/2013 - 17:40 | 3196371 ziggy59
ziggy59's picture

Amazon shares jump after quarterly results
Reuters – 12 minutes ago
Algos are reading profit jump headlines..

http://finance.yahoo.com/news/amazon-quarterly-revenue-rose-22-210721902...

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