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RIMMberrr 10

Tyler Durden's picture




 

RIM is now Blackberry but it would appear the charisma-less Heins promise of a "personal internet of things" with no Home button is not going down so well with shareholders... thinner, lighter, stronger, camera, keyboard, touch-screen, replaceable battery, social media hub, blah blah blah... No Pony? Two words - 'catch' 'up'.


 

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Wed, 01/30/2013 - 11:43 | 3198914 Cursive
Cursive's picture

Yeah, because smartphones need more gestures.  We need a new bumpersticker:

"Happiness is being owned by your smartphone."

Wed, 01/30/2013 - 11:53 | 3198962 TerminalDebt
TerminalDebt's picture

Same pig, different lipstick

Wed, 01/30/2013 - 11:55 | 3198972 Xibalba
Xibalba's picture

Looks better than CrAAple tho, and my android aint all that either with a 4hr batt life. 

Wed, 01/30/2013 - 12:07 | 3199008 CPL
CPL's picture

Wait for the price to shave a couple of bucks then watch Microsoft step in to inhale the ONLY corporate portable device available.

The technology might be lagging, the management are the same dirt bags from Nortel that destroyed that company...but RIMM has survived this long because if your company has Intellectual Property, you don't ever use Google or Apple.  Ever.

Plus migrating it to anything else but RIMM is very painful.  Easier to tell everyone mail will be down for a month.  My favorite trend so far is people resign before the project ramps up to put whoever comes up with the bright idea in charge of failure to deliver.

RIMM as a company might fold like a cheap suit with the poorly managed tech expectations, the tech though...in an office it's like paper, Blackberries everywhere.  Microsoft will come courting sooner or later.

Wed, 01/30/2013 - 12:13 | 3199048 trav777
trav777's picture

interestingly, WINCE had this market even as late at 07.  DOD and other 3 letters used MS smartphones because they offered VPN and a vaguely real OS.  In foreign countries, I saw a lot of HP palmPC ish MS smartphones like the old Tilt, winmo 6.0 and whatnot.  The restaurants used them as POS devices, took orders, swiped cards, the whole kaboodle.  Seemed hightecher than US practice and this was the 3rd world in S. America.

All MS had to do was clone iPhone's UI and spend some actual money developing a real OS to support these features and they had whatever Android has now.

MS needs to make a coherent play for the business market because they simply don't have the cachet marketing their device under their own name.  It's ironic, because XBox sells like hotcakes despite being inferior technology to PS3, and it has a solid brand and following.  Perhaps MS should have ditched Windows and gone with XPhone, especially after Craapl sh!t all over the windows brand, marketing during the Vista debacle.  Market research shows that consumers don't want "windows phones."

However, Craapl has proven that an ugly brick with the right logo will be desired.  Solution: change the branding.

Wed, 01/30/2013 - 13:06 | 3199216 CPL
CPL's picture

Anywhere an exchange server is where RIMM is.  That's how it's sold now.  Clients aren't interested in Head aches, if Microsoft does their thing with their usual Borg like effectivness.  It will eat RIMM, kill the handheld and extend support on it for two years.

To put the nail in the coffin of RIMM properly, it'll extend a couple of usual things to existing clients to help do a couple of things.

1)  Deliver a feature pack, maybe a Service Pack if really aggressive, mainly to get Blackberry Enterprise Manager out of the back office and as a drop down widget in the Exchange Admin console.

2)  For home users they'll send an optional update to replace the Blackberry Desktop manager.  I'm guessing it'll look like an outlook express or Office menu extension.

3)  Firmware update to remove that piece of shit RIMM OS and flash the phone with Win8 Tablet/phone edition.

4)  This moves microsoft immediately into the application marketplace using App-V and Med-V.  Cute fuck around iPhone and Google apps will be replaced the same moment with full Windows suites and the entire Windows software product line.

Even all those shitty internal corporate application that are built from VB5 will be available on Windows 8 phone.  If it runs on a desktop, it will and can be virtualized to run on someone's phone.

All for the one low cost of a phone and whatever you've purchased already for your company.  Plus it means you aren't going to be buying desktops anymore in the new model.  Employee comes in, give them a phone.  Stick them in the proper collection/Domain group in SCCM and all the applications run from the server farm in the Med-V application hotel.

Only thing at a desk would be a bluetooth enabled monitor, keyboard and mouse.  No logging in, you are always logged in with your PC sitting on your hip in the holster that also can talk with the Xbox.. 

That's the future.  MS is the next power player.  As a senior contractor and engineer, I'm going to help make that happen because that's a license to print money.

Wed, 01/30/2013 - 13:52 | 3199381 A Nanny Moose
A Nanny Moose's picture

I suggest stepping back a bit from this line of thought, to your IP comment. There is a push to keep the data off the phone to mitigate exactly the sort of data leakage issue you imply. Such concerns have helped players like Citrix already deliver any App to both platforms.

For RIMM to have a prayer at succeeding, they need to allow android apps (including Citrix Receiver), and an Activesync option with decent screen real-estate. Keep BES for those who need the security. Improve BES stability.

Not holding my breath. Not saying either path is mutually exclusive. Just my $0.02

Wed, 01/30/2013 - 14:50 | 3199576 smiler03
smiler03's picture

 "Perhaps MS should have ditched Windows and gone with XPhone"

 

I would bet a lot of money that Apple has patented any number/letter/character followed by "phone".

Thu, 01/31/2013 - 08:16 | 3201910 StychoKiller
StychoKiller's picture

How about Xfone?

Wed, 01/30/2013 - 15:02 | 3199636 billsykes
billsykes's picture

used to be- I don't see anyone with BB anymore. they have 1% of the market. Tons of room to grow on the upside, but this is the same mgt. that released the playbook without a email client.- the now heavily discounted sucky playbook.

I like the enterprise aspect of BB but most IT doesn't care anymore with BYOD its a shitshow in terms of security. And that, is really the fundamental change over the last 5-6yrs. FB, insta, cloud everything- no one even cares anymore, and its a great time to be a bit dark if you want to really do competitive intelligence. It also comes from this top down micromanagement mindset, no one makes or can make decisions anymore (less the CEO/chairman/board) so that engagement at a organizational level is gone.

Wed, 01/30/2013 - 12:05 | 3199010 redpill
redpill's picture

Maybe if they had done this in 2010 but I'm afraid the ship has already sailed.  Being late is the same as being wrong.

Wed, 01/30/2013 - 12:10 | 3199034 CPL
CPL's picture

The torch release was just as crappy.  It's like they pick up discounted computer magazines and hand them to their product managers and tell them to bring back 2005.

Wed, 01/30/2013 - 13:38 | 3199331 A Nanny Moose
A Nanny Moose's picture

What phone? I had the same issue with my phone until I enabled the 802.11 wireless radio. Go figure.

Wed, 01/30/2013 - 13:50 | 3199316 JuliaS
JuliaS's picture

Over 10 years ago I went television-free and never looked back. Eventually it became a mainstream trend. Nowdays most people are getting their daily fix of entertainment and news via the internet and ditching cable/newspaper providers.

Half a year ago I went phone free. Land line was surrendered around the same time as the TV, but going totally phone free - that was an interesting experiment.

I realized that the net offered many ways of communicating and most of it was digital to begin with - e-mail, instant messaging. For those occasional cases where a call is needed it isn't too hard ot find a courtesy phone, use one at the office, or dial via online services such as skype.

So, 6 months or so without a phone and I feel fine. No more distracted driving, no more telemarketers, wake up calls, wrong numbers, no more annoyance and no more "phone-owned" existence. At the same time I can communicate just fine. I'm always online anyway, but with one less bill to pay.

A decade ago the list of standard services was: tv, internet, cell phone. Today all these have merged into the net. When you dial intenationally (if you still do it the old way), the call is actually placed via the internet. When you watch television, much of it is transferred digitally, edited and uploaded to the networks via the net. The businesses do everything online, even if the end product resembles an analog predecessor for convenience.

Going completely phone free may not be a mainstream trend yet. It gets the same reception as telling someone you went TV free a decade back. People assume you're living in a cave. In reality it's quite the opposite. With one technology being able to offer more, fewer different services are needed, especially when most of them cost serious money and the internet already carries a bill. Why not get the most out of it?

Wed, 01/30/2013 - 14:44 | 3199554 billsykes
billsykes's picture

Does it hinder or interfere with your dating life?

I am wanting to go wired deskset voip only no cell or maybe just cheap ass dumb cell phone with small contract. But everytime I start dating alot, cell usage goes way up. same with stupid texts.

 

 

Wed, 01/30/2013 - 21:50 | 3200183 JuliaS
JuliaS's picture

Before I ditched the phone I was a firm believer in an idea that if a call was not worth leaving a message, it was not worth answering in first place. Some of that philosophy translated into other aspects of life.

When it comes to dating, if the person is a control freak that can't deal with you diappearing off the radar for a few minutes, then that person is probably not worth dating anyway. At least it's not the kind of person I'd want to settle down with...

Life with no phone is not for everyone, much like life without TV still is for some (Superbowl fans for instance).

I'm concerned about cost of service and the point where having it actually becomes an inconvenience. If you enjoy getting distracted by your attention-demaning phone and people on the other end, then it's your thing! For me life is stressful enough as is. Plenty of access points, VOIP and open wifi hotspots everywhere. Every other device has a skype app on it. If I need to find people - I find them. If they need to find me when I don't want to be found, that's their problem.

Try not answering a phone for a week as an experiment. If your stress levels go down, then my experience may be right for you.

Next time someone asks for your number, tell them you have none and watch the reaction. I get a kick out of it.

Wed, 01/30/2013 - 11:43 | 3198916 smlbizman
smlbizman's picture

was that the guy from big bang theory?

Wed, 01/30/2013 - 11:44 | 3198918 Dr. Engali
Dr. Engali's picture

I think I need a drink...I'm not used to fundamentals mattering.

Wed, 01/30/2013 - 12:23 | 3199080 Xibalba
Xibalba's picture

HFT rules the world

Wed, 01/30/2013 - 11:45 | 3198929 Cognitive Dissonance
Cognitive Dissonance's picture

Mrs Cog and I enjoyed some capital gains when we snorted a little RIMM back when it was in third grade. But we exited when it became clear the algos were in control and the roller coaster went into high gear.

Wed, 01/30/2013 - 11:47 | 3198935 firstdivision
firstdivision's picture

Quick, announce that you're already working on BB10S and it will rebound.

Wed, 01/30/2013 - 11:48 | 3198940 williambanzai7
williambanzai7's picture

But it has instant messaging!

Wed, 01/30/2013 - 11:51 | 3198955 Temporalist
Temporalist's picture

Actually WB I am watching the stream and the BBM gives live video chat and you can share the screen of your device with the person on the other end.

At the very least it's innovative and unique.

Wed, 01/30/2013 - 12:07 | 3199027 buzzsaw99
buzzsaw99's picture

...and you can share the screen of your device with the person on the other end.

 

You already do whether you know it or not.

Wed, 01/30/2013 - 12:10 | 3199037 Cognitive Dissonance
Cognitive Dissonance's picture

Too funny. :)

Wed, 01/30/2013 - 15:55 | 3199895 Temporalist
Temporalist's picture

Sorry I'm missing the humor.  What phone natively lets you mirror your screen to another phone without downloading an app and without using wifi or connecting through another computer while you are on a video chat (via their instant messenger from what I could tell)?

 

And I don't think that is some great technological advance to give people a reason to run out and get BBs but I haven't seen a phone do it so seamlessly before as when I watched the video.

Wed, 01/30/2013 - 12:52 | 3199185 ebworthen
ebworthen's picture

I'm certain the Kinect on my XBOX 360 is doing this too.

Wed, 01/30/2013 - 13:51 | 3199380 misnomer
misnomer's picture

The kid's grandparents got them a Kinect.  One day, hubby and I were wrestling in the living room, and the kid who my son was playing Xbox with at the time said "What are your parents doing??".  This is from completely opposite ends of our house.

The Kinect was put back in it's package and sold on ebay that same day. 

Wed, 01/30/2013 - 11:54 | 3198968 centerline
centerline's picture

Innovation in this market segment is about tapped out.

Wed, 01/30/2013 - 15:04 | 3199645 smiler03
smiler03's picture

I have an idea...

 

Seeing as a whole new generation live their lives via a smartphone, make some virtual reality glasses to go with it and then they just need a chair, an intravenous drip, a catheter and stoma bag. No more walking into roads and lamp posts. 

Wed, 01/30/2013 - 15:11 | 3199682 akak
akak's picture

I have little doubt that the large majority of shallow, trend-sucking, gadget-obsessed 20 and 30-somethings would grab that chance if offered.  Getting them out of the gene pool could only be a net plus for humanity.

Wed, 01/30/2013 - 11:55 | 3198970 unrulian
unrulian's picture

catch up to what? iphoney(n)S? atleast its a new build.

Wed, 01/30/2013 - 11:57 | 3198981 Black Markets
Black Markets's picture

They're all the same!!!

Wed, 01/30/2013 - 12:15 | 3199001 Village Smithy
Village Smithy's picture

Maybe this is one of the reasons that Moodys downgraded Canadian banks yesterday. I'm sure they're in deep.

Wed, 01/30/2013 - 12:20 | 3199064 GNWT
Wed, 01/30/2013 - 12:22 | 3199071 azzhatter
azzhatter's picture

I have a 2005 model flip phone that's isn't exactly brilliant but makes phone calls with precision

Wed, 01/30/2013 - 13:31 | 3199301 Panafrican Funk...
Panafrican Funktron Robot's picture

I liked the flip phone so much more than by Bold.  Which I would not possess if it was not given to me free by my employer.  

Wed, 01/30/2013 - 12:23 | 3199077 Inthemix96
Inthemix96's picture

Smartphones?

They are certainly not that smart.  I asked the wifes samsung S2 to pass me a beer and you know what it done?  It just sat there doing fuck all!  Never moved, not even an inch.  So I tells it, "get me a beer or you are done for", still nowt, so being a man of my word the smart fucker got it, a proper fucking slapping and still, even after a royal beat down didnt get my beer.

And people have the nerve to call them smart?  Even the wife knows to pass my beer when asked, but a smartphone wont?

What the hell is the world coming to?

Wed, 01/30/2013 - 12:24 | 3199082 SilverFish
SilverFish's picture

What??? A Blackberry that can do the same shit my 2 yr old Motorola Defy can do, for 3 times the price?? Where do I sign up?

Wed, 01/30/2013 - 12:29 | 3199105 Spastica Rex
Spastica Rex's picture

At some point, do even stupid sheep consumers just say "meh" to the very best next new phone gizmo?

Wed, 01/30/2013 - 12:49 | 3199168 ebworthen
ebworthen's picture

The one's over 35 will, but that's the problem - there aren't enough of us!

Logan's Run!

Wed, 01/30/2013 - 12:51 | 3199181 Spastica Rex
Spastica Rex's picture

Peter Ustinov, +1

Wed, 01/30/2013 - 12:36 | 3199130 Loose Caboose
Loose Caboose's picture

I live in Waterloo, Ontario.  Fully one-third of all our commercial RE is owned by "Blackberry" not to mention all the RE owned by the many thousands of employees.  This is nerve-wracking - like watching your child being born and hoping for the best.  I live about 3 miles from RIM Park.  I wonder if they'll rename that Blackberry Park.  Oh crap, it isn't going to work, is it.  I don't even own a smartphone - don't want or need - so I can't say I'm helping out any here.

Wed, 01/30/2013 - 12:48 | 3199163 ebworthen
ebworthen's picture

You mean the HFT speculators are taking profits before sales of the new phone come in?

What, are they rotating into Netflix shorts now?

Wed, 01/30/2013 - 13:10 | 3199236 PeeramidIdeologies
PeeramidIdeologies's picture

Nothing like a little foot for lunch. A completely unnecessary maneuver Who's sailing this ship anyways? Fukin dicks...

Wed, 01/30/2013 - 14:09 | 3199409 Zer0head
Zer0head's picture

Did Ballsie ever get that NHL team he spent 5 years pursuing?

 

hmm what was RIMM trading at when this article was written ($133)

Balsillie snubbed in latest bid at NHL: report  
It appears to be another wrong number for the BlackBerry king.   By Canwest News Service June 7, 2008

http://www.canada.com/story_print.html?id=a4b0daf4-3df2-4c15-a790-93cdf1...

 

Stupid dick, Ballsie was chasing pucks while JOBES was purchasing Chinese slaves

Wed, 01/30/2013 - 14:51 | 3199567 billsykes
billsykes's picture

When shitty underperforming pub co's.  cannot get another round of financing, generally they change their name and ticker to start fresh. hmmmmmmmmmm

They have also got to get rid of the CEO as presenter- hansy franzy has no personallity- "don't you love it, isnt it beautiful?" delivered in deadpan.  My mind kept thinking it was a SNL skit.

 

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