Crunching Complex Concepts In The Corner - Caption Contest

Tyler Durden's picture


Is this what tax season prep looks like when you have a Congressionally-imposed ban from using TurboTax? We will let readers decide...


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Thu, 01/31/2013 - 20:38 | 3204574 Town Crier
Town Crier's picture

Just ripped the face off the new acting IRS commissioner and he'll never even know what happened. Who's the Turbo Tax jerk now?! Ha!

Thu, 01/31/2013 - 20:47 | 3204591 NoelConfidence
NoelConfidence's picture


"I'm good enough, I'm smart enough, and doggone it, people like me."

Thu, 01/31/2013 - 20:48 | 3204596 Doubleguns
Doubleguns's picture

Lets see here, already told that lie, ummmm nope told that one too, errrrr ah ha heres one I havent used to often...there is no inflation!!!

Thu, 01/31/2013 - 21:05 | 3204632 raki_d
raki_d's picture

Fukk Ben- the printer z out of ink again !

Thu, 01/31/2013 - 21:12 | 3204660 logicalman
logicalman's picture

54,846 pages in the tax code......

Need to maximize my deductions.

Hmm, this may take a while.

Thu, 01/31/2013 - 21:27 | 3204705 cowdiddly
cowdiddly's picture

What? a toupee is not allowed as a business deduction?

Thu, 01/31/2013 - 21:31 | 3204714 gmcniff
gmcniff's picture

"Wait a minute...why is the Fed buying all our bonds?  Can they do that?  Ben - you have got to F**king tell me these things!!!"

Thu, 01/31/2013 - 21:35 | 3204718 CPL
CPL's picture

"I keep colouring outside the lines."

Thu, 01/31/2013 - 21:43 | 3204737 Shell Game
Shell Game's picture

Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain!!

Thu, 01/31/2013 - 21:40 | 3204747 Chris88
Chris88's picture

"Wait, what the fuck is scarcity?"

Thu, 01/31/2013 - 21:49 | 3204760 erg
erg's picture

I hate it when they hand me these papers with the tiny black squiggles on them. They act like they're really important so I stare at them for a while with a look of concentration on my face. This seems to satisfy them.

I find that sometimes when I stare at them for a really long time and frown at the funny squiggle thingies that they act impressed.

Whatever I'm doing, I guess I'm doing a really great job. It's inate.

Thu, 01/31/2013 - 21:53 | 3204772 rqb1
rqb1's picture

I bet one day CNBC will post this pic of me and say "he is just a regular guy like us", love CNBC, they are the best!

Thu, 01/31/2013 - 21:54 | 3204783 Flounder
Flounder's picture

lets see...white papers on stuff we're giving to the banks, one yellow paper on conditions, pink folder with kissy face thank you letters from Dimon and Blankfein...(g'damn repo they'll take the curtains)...look, I really am Sec Treasury

Thu, 01/31/2013 - 22:00 | 3204796 newengland
newengland's picture

I pity Geithner. He's another tool of dark forces beyond his comprehension, betrayed by baby boomers whose parents and grandparents sacrificed for a better world....and then saw their complacent  baby boomer offspring profit, leverage up insanely, and dump their debt on the children and grandchildren.

Timmy looks like a bewildered toddler in that picture, and so he is.

'Crush the bourgeoisie between the millstones of taxation and inflation,' said Lenin, hero of the Democrats, and EUSSR.

'The things that will destroy America are prosperity-at-any-price, peace-at-any-price, safety-first instead of duty-first, the love of soft living, and the get-rich-quick theory of life. '
Theodore Roosevelt

Thu, 01/31/2013 - 22:12 | 3204835 erg
erg's picture

Homer: After years of disappointment with get rich quick schemes, I know I'm going to get rich with this scheme...and quick.

Thu, 01/31/2013 - 22:08 | 3204820 Cosimo de Medici
Cosimo de Medici's picture

Okay, so it's off off-Broadway, but I can kill this Tinkerbell role, then it's Hollywood, here I come, baby!

Thu, 01/31/2013 - 22:16 | 3204845 UGrev
UGrev's picture

Chocolate Chip QE Recipe

1. The blood of a newborn. *check*

2. The blood of a sheep..*check*

3. The public hair from barny "check".. eww.. but *check*

4. Willing participants.. .. "fuck.. where do I get those? "

Thu, 01/31/2013 - 23:25 | 3205011 hardcleareye
hardcleareye's picture

"public hair from barny..."

Thank you for that visual...... lol



Thu, 01/31/2013 - 22:40 | 3204892 strangeglove
strangeglove's picture

How to Build a Guilotine for Dummies

Thu, 01/31/2013 - 22:50 | 3204918 UGrev
UGrev's picture

" 1, 2 buckle my shoe.. 

3, 4 run for the door

5, 6, fuck some chicks

7, 8 run for the gate

9, 10 who's president again? MEEEEEEEE!!! that's whooo!!

Thu, 01/31/2013 - 23:28 | 3205023 CrimsonAvenger
CrimsonAvenger's picture

Yep, this restraining order looks to be legit - I guess I have to continue staying 500 yards away from competence at all times.

Thu, 01/31/2013 - 23:51 | 3205077 WallowaMountainMan
WallowaMountainMan's picture

"I know I saw chairs in the budget."

Thu, 01/31/2013 - 23:52 | 3205079 Proftrek
Proftrek's picture

Caption Contest:

"Whu can't I get a teleprompter?"

Fri, 02/01/2013 - 00:03 | 3205102 Agent P
Agent P's picture

"I have got this in the bag.  I am the perfect man for the job...awww fuck! I misspelled 'Resume'!"

Fri, 02/01/2013 - 01:03 | 3205223 SoCalBusted
SoCalBusted's picture

Future employment agreement from GS

Fri, 02/01/2013 - 01:10 | 3205231 Chris88
Chris88's picture

"I just need to finish signing these divorce papers so Ben and I can begin our life together as one."




"Why the hell is there such a tremendous amount of paperwork for Keebler citizenship?"

Fri, 02/01/2013 - 02:03 | 3205305 Cardinal Fang
Cardinal Fang's picture

"Why do they want to know all this just for a pistol permit?"

Fri, 02/01/2013 - 03:50 | 3205389 Vlad Tepid
Vlad Tepid's picture

Nobody likes me,

Everybody hates me,

Guess I'll eat some worms...

Fri, 02/01/2013 - 03:52 | 3205395 AgShaman
AgShaman's picture

"Because you are special...and Gosh Darn it...people like you"


Fri, 02/01/2013 - 06:44 | 3205427 NuYawkFrankie
NuYawkFrankie's picture

Meanwhile in a Congressional antechamber.......

concerned that his usual m.o. might be getting a bit stale...

 ...Timmy hurriedly reviews his own private draft-copy  of the Introductory Chapter to "1,001 Prevarications & Obfuscations - Or, How to Lie with Impunity to Those Dumb Phucks In Congress" ( by Hillary Of Benghazi) -  grasping for any nuances - before giving his parting testimony to the Senate Finance Committee.

Fri, 02/01/2013 - 05:19 | 3205452 slackrabbit
slackrabbit's picture

Spitzer you c***...

Fri, 02/01/2013 - 07:07 | 3205511 Stats_Junkie
Stats_Junkie's picture

There's got to be a synonym for 'tax'... all these 'tax breaks', 'tax rebates', 'tax credits for industrial development'. It lacks variety, my audience is going to be counting the ceiling tiles for entertainment before I'm through. Will have to trade in my speech-writer.

Fri, 02/01/2013 - 09:22 | 3205754 akarc
akarc's picture

This is the last representatives taxes Im doing!

Fri, 02/01/2013 - 09:57 | 3205877 Liquid Courage
Liquid Courage's picture

"If Train A leaves Jonesville at eight fifteen and travels toward Smithboro at 45 mph and Train B ... What the ...? So I guess about now Timmah Junior is turning my Tax Return in to his math teacher. Well that's just FUCKING GREAT!!"

Fri, 02/01/2013 - 09:56 | 3205878 wagthetails
wagthetails's picture

"Hey, I just met you,And this is crazy,But here's my number,So call me, maybe?......"

Fri, 02/01/2013 - 10:44 | 3206041 3-and-30
3-and-30's picture

"Huh, so I guess I did forget to add tables and chairs to the treasury department's budget. Well fuck me then."

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