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Advice From The Department Of Homeland Security: "If Attacked By A Shooter, Grab Some Scissors"

Tyler Durden's picture


Via Michael Krieger of Liberty Blitzkrieg blog,

Advice From The Department Of Homeland Security: "If Attacked By A Shooter, Grab Some Scissors"

We first heard about this from a New York Post article on the topic.  Then we watched the video for ourselves.  It’ll make you want to defund the Department of Homeland Security (DHS) immediately.  While the whole “grab scissors” to defend oneself during a mass shooting is pretty amusing, the more disturbing part is that 90% of the video just consists of people on their knees in cubicles cowering in fear or running panicked with their hands in the air.  All the while police in black uniforms and “assault weapons” race in to save the day!  The video is a great representation of how the DHS views the citizenry.  Feeble, helpless, pathetic little children.  You’ve gotta watch it for yourself! 


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Fri, 02/01/2013 - 22:07 | 3208233 Dewey Cheatum Howe
Dewey Cheatum Howe's picture

Say no, then go, and tell someone you trust.

Fri, 02/01/2013 - 22:12 | 3208239 maxblockm
maxblockm's picture

The video says "you might consider trying to overpower the shooter with whatever means are available" then they open the drawer...and the cubicle dweller grabs their CCW to overpower the shooter (instead of scissors)!

Fri, 02/01/2013 - 22:10 | 3208241 blindman
blindman's picture

god forbid someone inside might have a firearm
of some kind, the law enforcement entity in command
would have to kill that person as they could never
establish if the dead shooter was a lone gunman or if the
surviving shooter was the actual perpetrator.
stated in the form of a question, here is the punctuation
mark. (?)

Fri, 02/01/2013 - 22:15 | 3208254 maxblockm
maxblockm's picture

If you kill the shooter, put away your gun and evacuate like everyone else?

Sat, 02/02/2013 - 01:03 | 3208621 e_goldstein
e_goldstein's picture

Keep your mouth shut, gtfo, go home, wash your hands and clean your gun.


Sat, 02/02/2013 - 01:58 | 3208687 TBT or not TBT
TBT or not TBT's picture

Spent cartridges with your fingerprints on them....    Gonna remember where they flew off to?   Maybe so with the typical response time from 911.

Fri, 02/01/2013 - 22:11 | 3208243 enoch_root
enoch_root's picture

... you can also just self-evacuate on the spot and hope the active shooter slips over in it

Fri, 02/01/2013 - 22:13 | 3208244 Watts_D_Matter
Watts_D_Matter's picture

I just submitted my application to my local PD today for my Carry and Conceal permit for my.....SCISSORS! Fuck YEA!

Fri, 02/01/2013 - 22:27 | 3208298 IridiumRebel
IridiumRebel's picture

Hair Cuttery is completely sold out! I tried Great Clips, but they are sold out too! Last chance is Latilda's Unisex, but I am pretty sure the hood rats bought all those. My kid has some in her backpack, but they are the child size rounded tips....USELESS. I'd use her Hello Kitty bubble gun, but that was confiscated when she got expelled on Monday....FUCK.

Sat, 02/02/2013 - 00:07 | 3208529 Buckaroo Banzai
Buckaroo Banzai's picture

Shear Madness, the Head Quarters, the Mane Concern, Shears For Queers, the Yankee Clipper, and the Snippery Lipple-- ALL SOLD OUT!

Fri, 02/01/2013 - 22:16 | 3208260 gwar5
gwar5's picture

I am buying extra capacity scissors now, before they're all gone.


Fri, 02/01/2013 - 22:20 | 3208271 Dewey Cheatum Howe
Dewey Cheatum Howe's picture

Or you can try jedi mind tricks like our media and govt officials use when the reality is detrimental to them. Just wave your hand at the shooter and tell him these are not the droids you are looking for.

Fri, 02/01/2013 - 22:21 | 3208280 IridiumRebel
IridiumRebel's picture

"You will hand me the Bushmaster and shit yourself."
"I will now return home to bury this with the others in PVC piping."

Fri, 02/01/2013 - 22:20 | 3208273 IridiumRebel
IridiumRebel's picture

I'd throw hot coffee at the perp like the ending of "Fast Times At Ridgemont High" in the My-T-Mart....when the perp is overcome, I'd retire to the bathroom and masturbate to Phoebe Cates......

Fri, 02/01/2013 - 22:48 | 3208351 toomanyfakecons...
toomanyfakeconservatives's picture

A sound strategy if I ever heard one.

Fri, 02/01/2013 - 22:19 | 3208274 holdbuysell
holdbuysell's picture

I recall the expression, "Never bring a knife to a gun fight."

I'm pretty sure scissors rate lower than knives in lethality.

Sat, 02/02/2013 - 00:11 | 3208536 Buckaroo Banzai
Buckaroo Banzai's picture

Brian DePalma had Sean Connery try the alternative take, "Ain't it just like a wop to bring scissors to a gun fight", but it didn't sound quite right, so he went with his original idea instead.

Fri, 02/01/2013 - 22:24 | 3208289 blindman
blindman's picture

never mind that the "police" only arrive after the
psycho shooter has killed, usually, himself, having
mostly exhausted his ammunition, so they say.

Fri, 02/01/2013 - 22:24 | 3208290 Gimp
Gimp's picture

Bringing the old scissors to the gun fight trick...luv  it.

Fri, 02/01/2013 - 22:28 | 3208297 Fox-Scully
Fox-Scully's picture

Hmm--scissors, paper, rocks--if the gunperson has rocks or a gun were screwed.

Fri, 02/01/2013 - 22:31 | 3208308 r3volver
r3volver's picture

Scissors beats paper, so maybe if he's shooting paper footballs...  

Fri, 02/01/2013 - 22:33 | 3208312 OldTrooper
OldTrooper's picture

Let's see, scissors or my XDM 45?  Life is full of decisions.

Fri, 02/01/2013 - 22:34 | 3208316 Aurora Ex Machina
Aurora Ex Machina's picture

Sorry, watching this video...


I present this video on shootings in the office which is much better.

Fri, 02/01/2013 - 22:36 | 3208322 The Gooch
The Gooch's picture

Stop, drop and scissor.

Fri, 02/01/2013 - 22:36 | 3208324 alfbell
alfbell's picture

A staple remover would be a deadly instrument. If only someone had one at Newton and was trained to use it.

Fri, 02/01/2013 - 22:48 | 3208350 toomanyfakecons...
toomanyfakeconservatives's picture

Surely you jest... and let's stop pretending Sandy Hook actually happened.

Sat, 02/02/2013 - 04:28 | 3208767 helping_friendl...
Fri, 02/01/2013 - 22:37 | 3208329 steve from virginia
steve from virginia's picture




I can see some dude w/ a carry permit getting into a pitched gun battle with the SWAT team within a maze of cubicles. 


Shoot first, ask questions later, right?

Fri, 02/01/2013 - 22:45 | 3208344 gnomon
gnomon's picture

I would rather take my chances getting shot by a late arriving SWAT team as to be holding a pair of scissors in one hand and my dick in the other wondering which one i should jerk first.

Fri, 02/01/2013 - 22:38 | 3208332 gnomon
gnomon's picture

Concealed Carry at work would solve this crap.  It should be encouraged by employers.  And no one needs to know who is carrying, even the employer.  Let the would-be shooter guess as to who is going to shoot him in the back while he tries to settle some score, imagined or otherwise.

This is urban, eurotrash, sheeple helplessness being promoted by DHS.  It is to make us abject subjects without any recourse other than to die, whether at the hands of maniacs or our government.

The day we meekly accept this philosophy is the day I head south of the border to never return.

Fri, 02/01/2013 - 22:54 | 3208370 toomanyfakecons...
toomanyfakeconservatives's picture

Now I really know how the average German felt in 1939.

Fri, 02/01/2013 - 23:45 | 3208482 krispkritter
krispkritter's picture

Not a good idea at the local Post Office however...those people cornered the market on crazy.

Fri, 02/01/2013 - 22:44 | 3208333 toomanyfakecons...
toomanyfakeconservatives's picture

Does anybody remember John Elway starring in a similar video for Colorado DHS awhile back? Sad but true. Google it.


No scissors here... just a .32 in the neck or face for rogue shooters.


Assassination? Are you kidding me? Is an obscure liberal congresswoman someone important enough to call it an "attempted assassination"?

Fri, 02/01/2013 - 23:05 | 3208398 mt paul
mt paul's picture

if you have to fire

empty the clip...

Fri, 02/01/2013 - 23:47 | 3208487 TBT or not TBT
TBT or not TBT's picture

The word!   The worrrd!

Sat, 02/02/2013 - 12:29 | 3209092 BidnessMan
BidnessMan's picture

After the first one, the rest are free...

Fri, 02/01/2013 - 23:05 | 3208399 The Gooch
The Gooch's picture

Ditch Google.


They cut the cookies up with scissors so you don't have to.

Fri, 02/01/2013 - 22:43 | 3208340 hannah
hannah's picture

i hope that obummer doesnt try and close the 'hair show loophole'....i have bought nearly enought scissors gel and curly shit...

Fri, 02/01/2013 - 22:46 | 3208343 edifice
edifice's picture

Damnit, where's my duct tape and plastic sheeting?

Fri, 02/01/2013 - 22:46 | 3208348 Yen Cross
Yen Cross's picture

 Tyler I'm sure this is antiquated/ " Just in case", My Way News - Fireworks cause deadly highway collapse in China

Fri, 02/01/2013 - 22:50 | 3208356 TNTARG
TNTARG's picture

Really, I'm having trouble to understand how can you tollerate such a waste of your tax money.

Fire them all. Close the Department of Homeland Security. How in the hell can you bear this kind of shit.

Fri, 02/01/2013 - 23:02 | 3208394 gnomon
gnomon's picture

They don't call it the Leviathan for nothing.  Once an agency comes into being it can never be rid of, only expanded, renamed, or folded into an even bigger, more outrageous assault on the public monies and Liberty.

We have fallen into a Hell Hole of our own making.  It is the curse of the Reserve Currency and the dried up little pricks and dildoes who occupy the Beltway.

Sat, 02/02/2013 - 00:49 | 3208603 OldTrooper
OldTrooper's picture

How in the hell can you bear this kind of shit.

We have broad shoulders...and short attention spans. Did you know the Harbowl is this weekend? I need more chips and taco seasoning!

Sat, 02/02/2013 - 08:44 | 3208874 css1971
css1971's picture

They're not.

It's deficit spending and the US dollar is the world reserve currency, so it's the rest of the world which pays for it through inflation.

Fri, 02/01/2013 - 22:53 | 3208362 Global Hunter
Global Hunter's picture

So if I hear gunshots in the hallway during a meeting I am attending I can either:

a: calmly and methodically duck underneath my desk

b: piss myself and then go full retard

NOTHING will ever give me reason to chose option A, DHS propaganda or otherwise.


Sat, 02/02/2013 - 00:02 | 3208389 mt paul
mt paul's picture

semi automatic



up in alaska

we're all carry

more guns here ,than people

yet not much gun crime..

Sat, 02/02/2013 - 02:12 | 3208703 ZeroAvatar
ZeroAvatar's picture

All the Marines are now equipped with the latest 'Swiss Army Scissors'.

Fri, 02/01/2013 - 23:01 | 3208391 The Gooch
The Gooch's picture

Good thing no one at DHS ever worked in a machine shop.

I've got all the angles.

Fri, 02/01/2013 - 23:11 | 3208416 hannah
hannah's picture

"This is my scissor [presenting M1]; this is my gun [grabbing crotch].
This is for fighting [presenting M1]; this is for fun [grabbing crotch]."

Fri, 02/01/2013 - 23:16 | 3208427 Mr. Hudson
Mr. Hudson's picture

They should market and sell an assault rifle called "The Scissors".

Sat, 02/02/2013 - 00:58 | 3208610 Odd Ball
Odd Ball's picture

They should market and sell a really long sharp pair of scissors called "Assault Scissors".

Fri, 02/01/2013 - 23:18 | 3208429 helping_friendl...
helping_friendly_book's picture

Please look at this to explain why the people in North America are being abuse by the "chosen ones"

This news clip is from FOX news so I can say it is right wing.

if you watch the whole video you will be appalled by the truth.

I never thought I would ever claim a Fox news segment as the most honest reporting I have ever seen.

Bloomberg will not allow me to post this video.

the truth watch if you dare

It seems Bloomberg news hires disqus to censor their comment section.

Please feel free to go to any Bloomberg article and post this news report produced by FOX news.

I think disqus is paid by the piece, meaning they are paid a set amount for every censor of a comment.

I propose we break Bloomberg by posting this video, which is red pill stuff, on every article produced on


Sat, 02/02/2013 - 03:53 | 3208751 helping_friendl...
helping_friendly_book's picture

Thank you for watching. Now share with your kin. We are being used!

Fri, 02/01/2013 - 23:25 | 3208442 pokrova
pokrova's picture

The interesting thing is that in many federal offices the scissors that are issued are "safety" scissors.  The kind you would find in a kindergarten class.  You know, the ones without points on the ends.

Fri, 02/01/2013 - 23:26 | 3208449 TBT or not TBT
TBT or not TBT's picture

In the UK, you can't have kitchen utensils on your person in public.

Sat, 02/02/2013 - 00:05 | 3208527 The Gooch
The Gooch's picture

Unfortunately in America, most eat with their hands.

I can't post pics but Hedgeless Horseman has some doozies.

Sat, 02/02/2013 - 08:41 | 3208870 css1971
css1971's picture

It's all about intent. I've wandered around in public carrying a 3 foot sword, an 18" dagger at my waist and a 3" knife in my sock. All of them real, and sharp. The police didn't blink an eye.

BTW, have you noticed they are starting to sell blunt pointed kitchen knives?

Fri, 02/01/2013 - 23:31 | 3208448 W74
W74's picture

I love how the office drone *knew* to throw himself flat on his face at the sight of armed plainclothes police.  That's right office drone, submit to your "saviors" coming to save your shitty day.

That's right "Obey all instructions from law enforcement" and hide you bitches, hide your asses off under your desks.

Fri, 02/01/2013 - 23:28 | 3208453 Mister Minsk
Mister Minsk's picture

What about toohpicks?

Fri, 02/01/2013 - 23:31 | 3208456 token
token's picture

After viewing the video, I'd like to add a laser to my Fiskar scissors.  Anybody know of a blade attachment that is reliable under heavy cutting?

Fri, 02/01/2013 - 23:35 | 3208464 token
token's picture

Specifically, I'm looking for a mount for the upper blade, on right hand scissors.

Fri, 02/01/2013 - 23:36 | 3208470 Manipuflation
Manipuflation's picture

I think the best severance package for Jon Nadler is a rounded pair of scissors.  About time for fuck sakes.

Fri, 02/01/2013 - 23:50 | 3208497 Kingkongballs827
Kingkongballs827's picture

PVC Gun Burial Tube. Holds 3 long rifles Ak47, SKS, AR15 plus ammo and gold & silver. Check it out here.



Sat, 02/02/2013 - 01:32 | 3208656 JimS
JimS's picture

$275.00 plus shipping and handling, another $30? Hell, for $15.00 I can get everything there from the local lumber yard.

Sat, 02/02/2013 - 06:42 | 3208825 lakecity55
lakecity55's picture

Both of ours are out of 6" PVC, end caps.

Too many ahead of us.

Sat, 02/02/2013 - 01:14 | 3208633 e_goldstein
e_goldstein's picture

Fucking righteous. Thanks for the heads up.



Sat, 02/02/2013 - 00:03 | 3208522 mt paul
mt paul's picture

inter office drones...

Sat, 02/02/2013 - 00:10 | 3208537 Yen Cross
Yen Cross's picture

 The Ball is rolling /  Bitchez

Sat, 02/02/2013 - 00:13 | 3208539 williambanzai7
williambanzai7's picture

Let's say you are an armed citizen fighting with a lunatic assassin. When the black shirts show up, you are dead. They will shoot at anything that movies.

Honey, have you seen my snippy scissors?

Sat, 02/02/2013 - 00:28 | 3208555 Yen Cross
Yen Cross's picture

 Plus one  Billie.   

 Gumby & Pokey  ? Prickle and Goo... = Blankfein and Dimon

Sat, 02/02/2013 - 00:26 | 3208562 Fred Hayek
Fred Hayek's picture

Like the NYPD shooting 52 times at a guy who was holding a knife but not charging at anyone?

Sat, 02/02/2013 - 00:55 | 3208608 williambanzai7
williambanzai7's picture

Exactly, shoot first ask questions later.

These are the same people buying thousands of assault rifles and millions of rounds.

I was thinking about the argument that there is no point resisting against overwhelming force and the Warsaw uprising came to mind.

Sat, 02/02/2013 - 11:05 | 3208991 samsara
samsara's picture

... When the black shirts come in you are dead....

They would also have to shoot the 20 - 30 of your coworkers circled around you thanking you, saying to the DHS, "We don't you Fucktards, We handled it. But take the messy, leaking trash with you..."

Sat, 02/02/2013 - 00:18 | 3208546 Atomizer
Atomizer's picture

Ralphie, you'll poke your eye out. No Red Ryder scissors for you!! A revised DHS security video. Stupid is, what senseless articulate.


Next DHS video release, don’t step on that turd. You’ll deprive 100,000 hungry mouths global food shortage.


Sat, 02/02/2013 - 00:21 | 3208550 Gamma735
Gamma735's picture

The whole of DHS and miss Janet are complete idiots.  Instead of using DHS to secure us from foriegn threats, the DHS has decided armed Americans are the threat.

Sat, 02/02/2013 - 00:23 | 3208554 SilverFish
SilverFish's picture

Whew, guess I wont be needing that Glock 30 anymore.



I wonder if I can still get a good set of Hattori Hanzo battle scissors.  

Sat, 02/02/2013 - 00:25 | 3208560 Fred Hayek
Fred Hayek's picture

You have to understand, to a government that expects all its citizens to have all their wealth in paper instruments, scissors are very powerful. As long as an assailant doesn't have a rock you'll be fine. Because rock breaks scissors.

Sat, 02/02/2013 - 00:30 | 3208570 Atomizer
Sat, 02/02/2013 - 00:31 | 3208571 Frankie Carbone
Frankie Carbone's picture

Federal 357B 125 grain Jacketed Hollow Point. 


"When you absolutely, positively have to drop that mother fucker with one shot". 

Sat, 02/02/2013 - 01:18 | 3208645 JimS
JimS's picture

Would Black Talon .357 be a better round than the Federal, in your opinion? Just wondering.

Sat, 02/02/2013 - 07:06 | 3208818 Frankie Carbone
Frankie Carbone's picture

Winchester reintroduced the Talon some time ago with improved technology under a new, improved, politically correct name of "PDX1 Defender". I've shot more than a few melons with it, and have more than a few boxes in my stash. It's a fine round. 


Also try Buffalo Bore 125 grain. HOT round with reduced muzzle flash that doesn't blind you at night when hunting two-legged predators in your living room. 

Sat, 02/02/2013 - 09:43 | 3208919 Manipuflation
Manipuflation's picture

The black talon bullet was also produced under the name "Failsafe".  Shot a few deer with them.  They work.

Sat, 02/02/2013 - 02:01 | 3208691 TBT or not TBT
TBT or not TBT's picture

Shot placement trumps all other factors as long as you are talking .380 ACP or bigger.

Sat, 02/02/2013 - 07:12 | 3208836 Frankie Carbone
Frankie Carbone's picture

Amen to that. I'd be much safer hitting a perp in the ocular triangle with a 22 LR than smacking him center mass with a 44 mag hollow point.

Sat, 02/02/2013 - 04:12 | 3208748 steelrules
steelrules's picture

I like the 158 grain myself. I run these

But you should run jacketed flat nose too they penatrate body armour better, mix them up like you would slugs and shot in a shotgun.

Sat, 02/02/2013 - 07:02 | 3208832 Frankie Carbone
Frankie Carbone's picture

These 158 rounds are just plain cruel.

865 ft-lbs of muzzle energy @ 1550 fps.

I own a box and still have 10 left. I don't use them.

First, my 6" 357 is an S&W Model 14-9, and these rounds are just too hot for it, and my carry gun is a Ruger SP101

This round's recoil, in a 2" carry magnum, is SO HOT that I literally cannot control the muzzle flip. But God help anyone standing in the trajectory path of this round.

865 ft-lbs of energy!

Sat, 02/02/2013 - 06:12 | 3208817 Frankie Carbone
Frankie Carbone's picture

The Federal Round is the gold standard for handgun so-called "knockdown" power. In reality, the concept of knockdown power is overrated as shot placement is paramount. That said, FBI Quantico lab data on LEO shootings over 20 years led to the 357B (and NOT the 45 ACP) to be considered the "gold standard" or reference round for how effective a round is for one-shot stops. 


Don't get me wrong. I LOVE the 45 ACP, and consider it one of the finest self-defense calibers there is (better handling - less recoil, more rounds). But a good 125 grain 357 round just delivers a far more massive wound channel. It's the advantages of recoil and capacity that lead to LEOs using the latter over the former. 

But I'm not a LEO, so I don't plan on an extended gunfight, so I carry the cannon with me instead. 

Sat, 02/02/2013 - 06:38 | 3208823 lakecity55
lakecity55's picture

Get an old Tokarev pistol. Cheap and reliable. Goes right thru BA.

Sat, 02/02/2013 - 12:25 | 3209084 BidnessMan
BidnessMan's picture

Samuel L. Jackson in the movie Jackie Brown.  Quentin Tarantino before Pulp Fiction....

"A K Forty Seven - When you absolutely, positively have to kill every mother-fucker in the room". 

Sat, 02/02/2013 - 00:30 | 3208572 Manic by Proxy
Manic by Proxy's picture

Would nail clippers be an acceptable alternative?

Sat, 02/02/2013 - 00:45 | 3208596 Aussiekiwi
Aussiekiwi's picture

Scissor sales will go through the roof after this, well, until Congress decide they are too dangerous and ban them.

Sat, 02/02/2013 - 00:33 | 3208576 Lord Koos
Lord Koos's picture

"feeble, helpless, pathetic little children."


Sandy Hook...

Sat, 02/02/2013 - 00:42 | 3208587 Aussiekiwi
Aussiekiwi's picture

They might have just rolled out those old 'Duck and Cover Movies' from the sixties on what to do if someone drops a nuclear bomb on your head, never felt  in need of a firearm until I watched this, Being shot while cowering under my desk with a pair of scissors because I was a wimp and never thought to take responsibility for my own defence.

Sat, 02/02/2013 - 00:42 | 3208588 Aussiekiwi
Aussiekiwi's picture

They might have just rolled out those old 'Duck and Cover Movies' from the sixties on what to do if someone drops a nuclear bomb on your head, never felt  in need of a firearm until I watched this, Being shot while cowering under my desk with a pair of scissors because I was a wimp and never thought to take responsibility for my own defence.

Sat, 02/02/2013 - 00:35 | 3208579 Atomizer
Atomizer's picture


Our Military forces will round up TSA & DHS in short time. Just let them keep pushing the envelope to test their arrest pulse. winks


Sat, 02/02/2013 - 07:17 | 3208839 Frankie Carbone
Frankie Carbone's picture

If a civil war comes and our military does that then you have my solemn promise, on my word, that I guaran-fucking-tee you that I'll be there handing them Beer (homebrew!), bullets (HOT handloads), and bandanges (I am also cross-trained as a paramedic).

I'll back their asses up with everything in me, including my life if necessary.

There are ideas greater than ourselves. When I check out, I want to be remembered as someone that did something noble, and have The Man smile upon me for my sacrifice for ideals that he himself bestowed upon us.

Sat, 02/02/2013 - 10:00 | 3208925 mumcard
mumcard's picture


Sat, 02/02/2013 - 00:47 | 3208602 Jab Cross Hook
Jab Cross Hook's picture

I just picked up some light-duty kevlar armor for when I work the south side of town.  Less than six pounds, under $200.  Great investment.

Sat, 02/02/2013 - 00:50 | 3208605 notadouche
notadouche's picture

This just in from AP: " Stallone supports ban on assault weapons."

So I guess when some guy hitchhikes into town somewhere in the northwest and gets harrassed by some over zealous cop and is asked politiely to leave and given a lift to the town lines by said sherrif only to turn back around to exercise his rights and go into any town he wants and not breaking the law then he will bring the authorities down with a pair of scissors.  "Covey Leader to Raven"  "Covey Leader to Raven"  Come in Johnny, the wars over.  Drop your scissors and turn yourself in.

Somehow it just doesn't work.  

Sat, 02/02/2013 - 00:56 | 3208609 Manic by Proxy
Manic by Proxy's picture

The implication being that Stallone is a knuckle-dragging douche weasel. And this is news? He has ALWAYS been a KDDW.

Sat, 02/02/2013 - 00:51 | 3208606 Odd Ball
Odd Ball's picture

Pathetic cowering cowards quivering under their desks held up as the new citizen ideal.  This is wrong at so many levels...

Sat, 02/02/2013 - 00:58 | 3208613 Dixie Rect
Dixie Rect's picture

I'm carrying a picture of Janet Napalitano. If I show it to an attacker, it should blind him long enough for me to get away.

Sat, 02/02/2013 - 02:01 | 3208694 TBT or not TBT
TBT or not TBT's picture

That's my backup.   My primary is Helen Thomas.

Sat, 02/02/2013 - 10:55 | 3208970 samsara
samsara's picture

No, Mary Jo White new Sec head.

She will stop a clock, AND turn it to stone

Sat, 02/02/2013 - 01:02 | 3208624 Walt D.
Walt D.'s picture

You'd be a lot better off throwing a margarita in his face, especially if you added a shot of habernero hot sauce. :-)

Or try hitting a home run off his head with a baseball bat. :-)


Sat, 02/02/2013 - 01:05 | 3208625 alfbell
alfbell's picture

Maybe if you use the scissors to snip your dick and balls off the assailant will feel pity for you and let you go. And at the same time the State will now consider you the perfect male citizen.

Sat, 02/02/2013 - 01:07 | 3208628 Walt D.
Walt D.'s picture

Let's hire Edward Scissorhands to guard the school. That should scare everybody else off.

You might want to check this out and why the mainstream media is supressing it, just in case you had any delusions that anybody actually wanted to solve the problem of school shootings.


Sat, 02/02/2013 - 01:15 | 3208635 ebworthen
ebworthen's picture

A little late on the thread but police in my state today arrested a man for defending his home against armed robbers.

Two felons broke into his home and he defended it, shot at their car while it was on his property, police arrested him and put him in jail for "reckless endagerment" and said if he'd acutally hit the crooks get-away car they would be charging him with more serious crimes.

So there you have it; if you defend yourself against armed criminals who come onto your property and break into your home - you are a criminal too.

Sat, 02/02/2013 - 01:58 | 3208686 IridiumRebel
IridiumRebel's picture

Post a link. I'd like to comment on it. You must live in Taxafornia.

Sat, 02/02/2013 - 01:16 | 3208640 A Lunatic
A Lunatic's picture

'See something scissor something'. It's the backup plan in the event that 'see something say something' should fall on deaf ears...........

Sat, 02/02/2013 - 01:22 | 3208647 A Dollar Short
A Dollar Short's picture

Un frigging real, are you kidding...?

Sat, 02/02/2013 - 01:32 | 3208657 Hook Line and S...
Hook Line and Sphincter's picture

"The video is a great representation of how the DHS views the citizenry.  Feeble, helpless, pathetic little children. "

Actually, the DHS is right about that.

Sat, 02/02/2013 - 01:38 | 3208660 gwar5
gwar5's picture

So DHS doesn't actually care if we have to kill somebody so long as the bad guys have the overwhelming odds in their favor? Got it.  I'm sure this video will be a deterrent and will not act as a terrorist magnet.


And we should also put big signs on airplanes that say: "This Airplane is Gun Free, No Sky Marshall On Board"




Sat, 02/02/2013 - 02:09 | 3208701 gwar5
gwar5's picture

One thing is missing in this whole argument. So far all the damage have been done by crazy people on a rampage. And look what one crazy guy can do.


So what happens when trained terrorists carry out a planned attack on a school, like in Breslan? 1100 hostages, >380 dead. At least a couple of civilians and a cop were there in Breslan to fight back, and many got away in the initial assault. A school full of scissors did not help.


And the Batman shooter went miles out of his way to go to the only theatre, out of seven, that had posted "Gun Free Zone" signs. 



Sat, 02/02/2013 - 01:39 | 3208661 GubbermintWorker
GubbermintWorker's picture

HAHAHAHA! Herd those sheep!

Sorry, but I'm carrying my 9mm pistol, descretely  concealed, with a valid permit. I will decide at what time I need to exercise my right to use it. Keep your scissors!

Sat, 02/02/2013 - 01:58 | 3208685 Non Passaran
Non Passaran's picture

nicely said, although your nick contains mutually contradicting words!

Sat, 02/02/2013 - 01:43 | 3208663 Bunga Bunga
Bunga Bunga's picture

"Fight the shooter with scissors" ... education made entertaining ... just a preperation that the citizens know the commands, when the great gun and gold confiscation begins.

Sat, 02/02/2013 - 09:09 | 3208891 SmallerGovNow2
SmallerGovNow2's picture

molon labe...!

Sat, 02/02/2013 - 02:00 | 3208669 tip e. canoe
tip e. canoe's picture

interesting blogpost by Martin Armstrong on this topic:

Its all about what is coming and they know what that is.

Sat, 02/02/2013 - 02:29 | 3208714 alfbell
alfbell's picture

Yeah canoe, and how about this one from Armstrong?


It is absolutely  IMPERATIVE to understand that what we face is by no means HYPERINFLATION. If you keep thinking that government will somehow just print their way into oblivion, you are going to lose your shirt and pants along with the car and house. I have tried to explain that HYPERINFLATION only takes place in economies where there are no bond markets – NEVER in the core economy! But like the Mayan distortion of fact, these people selling HYPERINFLATION are preaching nonsense with no historical research or understanding. They harp on the case of Germany during the 1920?s and Zimbabwe, but fail to comprehend that these economies were 4th world at the time lacking buyers of their bonds. When there is a VIABLE bond market, the bondholders yell and scream and then threaten government they will collapse if nobody buys their bonds. This creates a massive DEFLATIONARY trend as government hunts down everyone and LIBERTY vanishes into thin air.
Technology is a huge double edge sword. I have stated there will be NO GOLD STANDARD for that will require a revolution. How can a politician run for election saying vote for me and I will give you this? A Gold Standard would change everything. They will never give up such power. I have warned they are trying to eliminate cash – they want electronic money for they can get every penny of tax that way. Google Wallet is a step in that direction.
Starting in 2014, ALL banks in Britain will report directly to the IRS and vice versa. What is taking place is governments want everything. They are all coordinating on “money laundering” which is redefined as not paying taxes. What they are doing is creating a global cross reference of everything that moves in the financial world. By all governments reporting and cross-checking, every penny will eventually show up. There is no privacy. There is nothing that will escape.
They are NOT stupid. They are attacking the “underground” economy and trying to shut that down as well. The Paris Ancient Coin show held since World War II has been cancelled. Why? The French government insisted that lists of names of everyone buying and selling anything had to be provided to the government. In the USA, international antique dealers can no longer just bring in their inventory for a show without providing federal tax ID numbers. The IRS even wanted the ID number of the hotel where the event would take place.
In New York City, there is a new goon-squad. They are hunting for limos pull up with three cars and two tow-trucks. If the limo company owes any parking tickets, they tow the car, strand the driver, and will refuse to release the car unless ALL tickets are paid historically of any driver that ever worked for the company. They want CASH no credit cards.
So while you are waiting for HYPERINFLATION, they are busy destroying society to pay the bondholders. HYPERINFLATION only takes place where there is no bond market to placate. You have no idea what they are doing. In 1974, when gold was being legalized, Senator Walter Foran came to me and asked me to write the law that gold would not be taxable in its raw form. I did. I wrote the law with the language that gold would not be taxable “unless converted to use.”  I was one of the three largest bullion operations in the USA. I made the markets for dealers. After 1980, both the state and the feds came in. The state said gold was taxable and their interpretation was that the “use” which made it taxable was “investment use.” It did not matter I wrote the law. They said I misinterpreted what government asked me to do.
The IRS walked into my office and informed me that I was a bank and subject to the banking law requiring I report to the IRS every transaction over $10,000 because “gold was never demonetized” and thus I was dealing in money.  They informed that the fine was $50,000 per-transaction or up to the full face value of the transaction at their discretion. They said they realized I did not know I was a bank. Therefore, I had to let them go through my records and that would be that. My lawyers said I would never win in court. They came in and set up shop pulling over 3,000 client names to be audited. When I walked by the desk and saw they were pulling names of transactions less than $10,000, I was told to keep my mouth shut or I would have problems. The next day they showed up with trucks and removed all my records for nearly 3 years before they returned them. They prevented me from filing my income tax forms telling me their audits of everyone else took priority. All I could do is pay in estimates. At the end, they fined me $500,000 for late filing. When I said they would not return my records, they responded I never asked if my accountants could go use their office. I knew gold was in a bear market and being declared a bank was not to my liking so I retired. The advice had been spun-off and became Princeton Economics.
The point is, they are doing this again. They are just walking in demanding access to everything and then hunting people down. They are destroying everything. This is how society collapses. They seek to maintain power at any expense. So you think they will just sit there and print and you can run to a gold dealer and buy. Beware – the taxman cometh. We are in the death throes of the collapse of Western Civilization. This is all being driven by the fact that Marxism has led us down the same path that forced the collapse of Communism. That began in 1989.95. The end will be 23 years in the least (2013) or 26 years at worst (2016). So keep looking for HYPERINFLATION. Sorry – ain’t never going to happen! Be careful you do not get sucker-punched because these people are by NO means going quietly into the night.

Sat, 02/02/2013 - 04:35 | 3208772 ebworthen
ebworthen's picture

Yes, that is my concern though I still think holding physical Gold is worthwhile.

No purchase over $2,000 at a time, but if the IRS decides they need to milk every penny I wouldn't doubt they would subpoena records from every dealer in the land and get them from our Kangaroo courts, and then tax purchasers/holders.

I am convinced the Treasury and government at large wants to get rid of currency (paper and coin) and move everything to a card or mobile device swipe or online.  Then they can track EVERY PENNY.

They may get rid of anything over a $20 bill and leave quarters, dimes, and nickles for coin machines and garage sales, but anyone depositing more than $5,000 will be investigated, and withdrawals of cash will be limited to $500 anywhere anytime.

After a time they will phase any paper or coin money out altogether as normal people die out and the new cohorts of swipe and digital generations who have been trained like Pavlov's dogs to trust it will go along to "save money" and "prevent crime" etc.

Sat, 02/02/2013 - 11:11 | 3208997 tip e. canoe
tip e. canoe's picture

key sentence, heart :

They are NOT stupid.

Sat, 02/02/2013 - 10:45 | 3208960 samsara
samsara's picture

Great Writer, Great Writer.

Hit the Whole blog. He has three or four on the manipulation and yes where we are going.

Hit this link and scroll down and read. Nice picture of a 1911 in one of them.

Sat, 02/02/2013 - 11:11 | 3208996 tip e. canoe
tip e. canoe's picture

MA's definitely got an unique perspective of things as he's been on both sides of the fence, including places where few have dared to venture.    plus, his knowledge of economic history is second to none.

Sat, 02/02/2013 - 01:50 | 3208674 alfbell
alfbell's picture

I'm a member and get my training there, but this isn't an attempt to prosper in any way.

Front Sight... the world class firearms and self-defense training institute outside of Las Vegas offers a program of training and assistance that wlll enable you to carry concealed in 23 states and climbing. I haven't done this specific training yet but I plan to soon.

Check it out at...

Sat, 02/02/2013 - 01:50 | 3208676 whotookmyalias
whotookmyalias's picture

Almost bought a Glock .45 ACP today.  After watching this I am more inclined than ever.  Make a nice BUG to my 1911 .45 ACP

Sat, 02/02/2013 - 01:53 | 3208680 alfbell
alfbell's picture



I'm sure that, taking the DHS's real world knowledge and advice, FS will soon be offering a self defense class in defending yourself with scissors, rocks and paper too.

Tee hee hee!



Sat, 02/02/2013 - 02:00 | 3208692 Son of Loki
Son of Loki's picture

Fatal Car accidents. How many people are killed in car crashes each year? How about caused by drunking driving? How about more drivers ed? Take drunks off the road, etc.....


Priorites are all messed up looks like. 

Sat, 02/02/2013 - 02:27 | 3208710 gwar5
gwar5's picture



We have 45,000 new cases of AIDS every year, 20,000 deaths, and 4000 of them are children under 13. 25% more deaths than by homicide.

But we don't round up all homosexuals to fingerprint and register because we believe they have Constitutional privacy rights and are protected from discrimination. There would be outrage from the very same people who now see no problem doing the same thing to legal gun owners who have the same rights. 

Welcome to the new Jim Crow, once again brought to you by the Democrat Party





Sat, 02/02/2013 - 02:03 | 3208693 azengrcat
azengrcat's picture

The right to bear arms not fucking scissors

Sat, 02/02/2013 - 02:05 | 3208698 TBT or not TBT
TBT or not TBT's picture

The right to bare arms is being taken away from women, across the muslim world.  That's a big fraction of all humanity right there with not even a bit of wrist showing.   Don't joke around with this stuff.

Sat, 02/02/2013 - 04:27 | 3208768 PubliusTacitus
PubliusTacitus's picture

No, haven't you heard, that was Amendment 2a, rejected by Governeur Morris.

Sat, 02/02/2013 - 02:03 | 3208696 justsayin2u
justsayin2u's picture

Expect to experience officers standing around outside for a long time while the shooter continues to kill people.  Then, when everyone has been killed and the shooting stops, expect the officers to enter the building and shoot anything that moves.  Officers will be the last responders, never the first responders.  You can not expect them to help you while there is shooting going on at all.  Personal assault weapons with large magazines are your best hope of surviving a situation like this.

Sat, 02/02/2013 - 02:08 | 3208699 Non Passaran
Non Passaran's picture

Don't forget chopsticks.

An alert citizen orders Chinese at work!

Sat, 02/02/2013 - 02:26 | 3208712 edifice
edifice's picture

Would've been hilarious if the drone picked up a box cutter...

Sat, 02/02/2013 - 02:28 | 3208713 Element
Element's picture



"... Feeble, helpless, pathetic little children.  You’ve gotta watch it for yourself!"


The Handbook of Human Ownership - A Manual for New Tax Farmers

By Stefan Molyneux


Audio Book

Sat, 02/02/2013 - 09:14 | 3208898 CJHames
CJHames's picture

Wow.  Powerful.  

Sat, 02/02/2013 - 03:05 | 3208731 TyrannoSoros Wrecks
TyrannoSoros Wrecks's picture

The last people who should be given guns are obamaloving union public school teacher progressive diversitycrats.
They'd either aim the gun backwards or become obongo's civilian defense force.

Sat, 02/02/2013 - 03:35 | 3208735 steelrules
steelrules's picture

Sounds to me like DHS doesn't want their next false flag op shooter to get hurt.

And now for some sanity 

Newtown Calls for Armed School Officers

Sat, 02/02/2013 - 03:31 | 3208736 valkir
valkir's picture

I bought a pair of scissors from Costco,2 years ago.So,they are registered.They are made from some special metal,the same as space shuttles.Do i have to report them,as "assault weapons"to nearest DHS?

Sat, 02/02/2013 - 05:41 | 3208742 slackrabbit
slackrabbit's picture

Sound advice; and remember only nail scissors folks, anything longer could hurt someone..


btw Check out Lanny Breuer re-edited, classic

Sat, 02/02/2013 - 04:15 | 3208760 cherry picker
cherry picker's picture

The best defense if you don't have a gun is a vehicle.  Run them over.  3,000 lbs of veocity can wipe out more than you can imagine and homeland security is anything but.

This is a sad video in this day and age isn't it?

Sat, 02/02/2013 - 04:26 | 3208766 PubliusTacitus
PubliusTacitus's picture

I'm fairly certain that Janet Dykefiller and Eric RonJeremy Holder use TurboTaxTimmy for their returns.

Sat, 02/02/2013 - 04:33 | 3208771 jack stephan
jack stephan's picture

The obstinacy of the King and his unwillingness to acknowledge the independency of this country, I have ever considered as the greatest obstacles in the way of a peace. - tench tilghman

Sat, 02/02/2013 - 04:46 | 3208775 sink critically
sink critically's picture

Everything is a weapon. I once made everyone in my office promise that if we were ever attacked we would all start throwing everything chuckable on the count of 3 and not stop until all bookshelves, desks, and floors were empty including our chairs and shoes. While this would make the best of a bad situation I've since figured out how to avoid it completely, I moved my office home.

Sat, 02/02/2013 - 05:06 | 3208780 ken
ken's picture

Is this what all the bullets and guns are for? Systematic false flag events, until they wear the population down? Doesn't it feel like we are NOW in a war zone, created by THEM, or whomever THEY are allowing to orchestrate them, ie, foreign operatives?

Sat, 02/02/2013 - 05:04 | 3208781 ken
ken's picture

Is this what all the bullets and guns are for? Systematic false flag events, until they wear the population down? Doesn't it feel like we are NOW in a war zone, created by THEM, or whomever THEY are allowing to orchestrate them, ie, foreign operatives?

Sat, 02/02/2013 - 05:06 | 3208782 ken
ken's picture

Is Chertoff, or whoever, a dual national?

Sat, 02/02/2013 - 07:07 | 3208827 NuYawkFrankie
NuYawkFrankie's picture

Stasi/Israeli/Fifth-Columnist/Bolshevik/TSA-Profiteer/DHS-Architect /All-Round Grifter...

ANd just like the clap - the gift that keeps on giving and giving - the list goes on.... and on.....

Sat, 02/02/2013 - 05:07 | 3208784 jmcadg
jmcadg's picture

Don't keep your phone on vibrate,

but please spend 15 minutes talking to us about who the shooter is, where he is ,who he's shot, what he's wearing, what he had for breakfast, fashion tips, who's coming to yours for Christmas,

hold on, the shooter is outside, he heard our conversation, no, no, please no, I have scissors, aaaarrgghhh.

Dumb fucks.

Do NOT follow this link or you will be banned from the site!