Advice From The Department Of Homeland Security: "If Attacked By A Shooter, Grab Some Scissors"

Tyler Durden's picture

Via Michael Krieger of Liberty Blitzkrieg blog,

Advice From The Department Of Homeland Security: "If Attacked By A Shooter, Grab Some Scissors"

We first heard about this from a New York Post article on the topic.  Then we watched the video for ourselves.  It’ll make you want to defund the Department of Homeland Security (DHS) immediately.  While the whole “grab scissors” to defend oneself during a mass shooting is pretty amusing, the more disturbing part is that 90% of the video just consists of people on their knees in cubicles cowering in fear or running panicked with their hands in the air.  All the while police in black uniforms and “assault weapons” race in to save the day!  The video is a great representation of how the DHS views the citizenry.  Feeble, helpless, pathetic little children.  You’ve gotta watch it for yourself! 

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Shell Game's picture

BobTheHorse needs to be put down, it's the humane thing to do..  ;)

jcpicks's picture

Glock, Luger, Scissors.....shoot

Skateboarder's picture

I'm more of a rock guy, thought sometimes I bust out paper to throw 'em off. Boo yah!

Who wants to play Shotgun, Grenade, and Teargas?

sleigher's picture

Went to the store for some scissors, couldn't decide between the assault scissors or the 10 round scissors.

Pure Evil's picture

Always go for the scissors that packs the biggest punch, somewhere in the realm of 30 blades per scissor, you never know when your gonna have multiple active shooters and 10 rounds just won't be enough.

And, while your at the Sporting Scissor's store make sure you sign up for scissor safety lessons and check out how to obtain conceal scissor carry. You never know when or where you're gonna need to protect you, your family, or your neighbor.

John_Coltrane's picture

And speaking of scissor safety, remember you can't run away from your assiliant while carrying your scissors-wouldln't be prudent.  Remain stationary and hope he trips and impales himself on your scissors.  Then book a gig on 60 minutes to discuss your heroism, write a book and sell the movie rights.

salvadordaly's picture

atleast you got to choose, in my area the shelves haved been cleaned all out! people at the scissor store said they were on back order and they could not keep them on the shelf. I wanted something for a back up and all of the fucking staplers were sold out to! Walked out with white out and a tape dispenser just to get some thing to help me defend myself.

ImReady's picture

Try bit pricey these days but what the heck.) Can you put a price on safety? 

Waterfallsparkles's picture

If Scissors are sold out go to Home Depot for the Nail Gun.  That will do.

Freddie's picture

At Columbine - the kids, teachers and administrators were on the phone begging for help.  The cops were outside waiting for the shooting to stop.  One armed teacher or administrator could have easily taken those two kids down.

847328_3527's picture

the TSA took away my scissors...sorry.

Shell Game's picture

Don't forget to bury a pair of scissors...

RafterManFMJ's picture

In five years when they ban scissors, the DHS will recommend defending against and active shearer by using crazy staws.

Tom_333's picture

Hmmm....let´s hope future shooter don´t watch that info. The obvious thing to for the mentally deranged is then to carefully shoot up every desk and conference table since the victims ar covering under there - and then drop your weapon and join the crowd running out with their hands in the air and...vanish. I bet that next time the assailant will be dressed in khakis and button-down shirt with no tie.

battle axe's picture

Hello China, you can take us over now, we deserve to be conquered,,,

DosZap's picture
Scissors my ass. A Legal Immigrant testifies beofre the committee on GunViolence jan 28th. ONLY if there were a few million more like him maybe we would not even be on this insane path. HE knows more about our history,and world history, than 98% of Americans,what a testimony to someone who has lived under tyranny, and can relate to US. PASS IT ALONG to any you know who give a rats!,Please.
rotagen's picture

If scissors are outlawed only outlaws will have scissors.

BurningFuld's picture

Best way to defend yourself......leave the country.

TotalCarp's picture


But dont forget your scissors.

Another Texan's picture

Nah.  Im not running.  This is my/our country, time to stop making excuses and take it back.

TotalCarp's picture

I respect that but i dont see it happening, sorry buddy

1. Amerikans are too fat and happy. No revolutions happened when population was either well fed (too lazy) or malnourished (too weak). Sry i cant find the research article now but its very good.
2. There is no mass media driver - msm has been captured
3. BarakHussein has done great job pushing class warfare. That will keep shepple occupied for a while.
4. Govt is very good at closing the window of freedom very slowly. People will not get mad unless they make a mistake and close it rapidly.

In conclusion, i am sorry i think there is no hope of taking anything back. Especially after another 11 million freeloaders will be added soon.

Raymond K Hessel's picture

How much would 11 million rounds go for?

Ray1968's picture

Well, for us civilians, there's not much ammo on the shelves... and what you do find is damn expensive! Scissors will be cheaper!

TotalCarp's picture

See i worry that the homeland rounds are headed our way, and not the way of mexican gangbangers who will dutifully vote for barakhussein.
After all homeland probably thinks we are all plotting something.

Pure Evil's picture

You are plotting something. Its not only racist, voting barakhussein out of office, but also terroristic, filling in the ballot to vote said marxist out of office.

bank guy in Brussels's picture

Re « ... no hope of taking anything back ... »

Similar thinking from Karl Denninger there in America too, who has gotten so frustrated at the 'sheeple' that he thinks, after 5+ years, it might have been a total waste of time blogging and writing. He just wrote, addressing the public:

«  ... you are sheep.  ...  You refuse to demand the truth and instead you continue to suck up the lies through a straw while you are being raped of your funds and freedom at the same time.

I started writing this column in 2007 because I didn't think it was fair that people get screwed again after the Tech Wreck in 2000.  I gave up doing what I like doing -- fishing, diving, sleeping -- for more than five years to do this.

And increasingly, I think I made a mistake.

I am questioning whether the audience is a bunch of masochists, in which case this has all been one gigantic waste of time. »

Pure Evil's picture

Note to secretary, make sure we get back to this after the super bowl.

notadouche's picture

I see a far different America than you do my friend.  I'm not around too many that are happy nor fat.  Don't believe what you see on TV.  America is not on big generic land.  They don't call it a melting pot for nothing.  Americans are not all the same, never have been, never will be.  Now the media may portray it a certain way.  In fact the Americans that aren't fat or lazy and do take revolutionary precautions are portrayed as "right wing nut jobs" and "hate group miltia's"  etc...  You are either fooling yourself or underestimating American's or falling for a sterotype that the media is damned near mandated to portray.  I'm afraid you are only about half right in your notion of Americans.

TotalCarp's picture

Actually i never said "fat". You did. I never said anything about right wing or left wing. What you have is apathy mixed with blind belief in the virtue of the so called land of the free. The other issue is msm does a v good propaganda job. They dont need to convince 100%, just 51% of the voters for you to be doomed. And they have fully succeeded in that.

So please dont exaggerate or put words in my mouth.
My notion is very simple - for the past 20 years things have gone 1 way only. None of righteous patriots have come out of the woodwork. And by now you can barely recognize the place. Think you will take it back? Riiiight....

notadouche's picture

"Americans are too FAT and happy"  Did you misquote yourself?  I never asserted that you made referenence to any wing either.  I asserted the media did that.

Mostly I agree with you, especially about the 51% and doomed and if I believe I said the media makes folks out to be "right wing nut..."  I ddin't accuse you of making that description.  

I dont' see where I put any words in your mouth or exaggerated what you said.  I either did a poor job of being clear or you misunderstood/misread what I wrote.  All I pointed out is that  you see one version and I see another.  

In fact I'm afraid you are right.  But there may have been some righteous patriots come out of the woodwork but the media and government portrayed them as something else altogether.  They were "right wing militia nut jobs"  then, but now maybe they were just ahead of their time and I certainly didn't see it then but now maybe the Ruby Ridge's of the world were something all together different.  



TotalCarp's picture

Appologies my friend, i did put my foot in my mouth there. Thank you for calling me on that one.
I see a lot of versions and i guess i got wrongly irked by the suggestion i am biased. Tbh i am mostly very sad. I am sad for a great land. I am sad for my friends who are living in the US. I am sad for people who like yourself see the "matrix" but find yourself helpless and powerless in this fight. I know people who went of the grid. That is one way. I am not good enough to do that. I chose to leave. Its been a good experience so far and want to let anyone who is on the fence know that the world does not end outside of the star spangled shores.

Thank you for your reply. Good speaking to you friend.

notadouche's picture

No problem and it's always good when we agree to agree.  It's fairly easy to get caught in a defensive posture with the way "debate" and "discussion" have been bastardized.

I wish I had the ability to at the very least have a second home base but alas I am afraid I will have to ride it out right here in the states.  With technology that we don't even realize exist and the desire for "globalization" there may not be a single place on earth that is better than another.  The least expected outcome may just be THE outcome.  I can't imagine too many thought 1776 had a chance in hell.  The Soviets.  The Berlin Wall.  The Roman Empire.  History is full of examples of the unthinkable so at the very least the history hasn't been written yet.

Now the Ambien writings begin!!!!!

Bandit und Buster's picture

You don't mean we've been ...ah...dumbed down?

"Television has allowed us to create a commonculture, and without it we would not  have been able toaccomplish our goal." (American Story, Public Television, Dr.Morris  Janowitz, Prof. of Psychology, Chicago University,December 1, 1984)
TBT or not TBT's picture

Is our goal to have plenty of irresponsable sex?

jballz's picture


Not saying this is the start, but this is exactly how it would start, if it started


(I guess the prosecutor wasn't carrying his scissors when he left the office. Classic civilian mistake...)

TotalCarp's picture

I saw that, i did find this very interesting. I obv dont know anything of this case... He may have been one of the good guys, not a crooked DA prosecutor who rely on lies, blackmail and corrupt judges.

I hate violence, its justifiable only in cases of self defense. Gunning down an unarmed person is not justifiable. But you may very well be right as far as "this is exactly how it would start".

flacon's picture

Lots of Jews thought the same about Germany. For me and my family I left USA in 2009. Next step... deciding to give up citizenship. Oh but there are so many perks to being an American, everybody wants to be American. Probably good enough reason to NOT want to be one any longer. I wish I could sell my citizenship online to some poor ol' sucker. 

TotalCarp's picture

Exactly same story here, sadly i was a bit after you. And yes plenty of ppl thought there will be time to escape the reich in 1938. Until all their papers got cxled.

trav777's picture

there would have been lots of time had the zionists not told the germans to just put them in a fucking dumpster when the zionists weren't given State recognition by the western powers.

Pure Evil's picture

Hey, I got an idea, since all the dumb fucks from Mexico want to come live in the new Nazi Germany, maybe you could strike a deal with one south of the border. You sell them your SS number and drivers license and they come north to be the slaves of American corporations. China has its slave labor, we've got to get ours from somewhere.

johnconnor's picture

Leave the country and go where? China? North Korea? Mexico? Europe? it is too bad there aren't any more unhabited lands

TotalCarp's picture

Switzerland? Norway? Singapore? New Zealand? Chile? Paraguay?

Contrary to popular amerikan belief there is more to the world then London and Mexico.

Harbanger's picture

If you think there may be a global depression and possibly a world war, then places that may seem safe now probably won't be.  Stable Govts. may collapse and there will be unforseen collateral damage as big players fight for power and new resources.

TotalCarp's picture

Yes i agree. I just think that wealthy and fat and happy places will fare worse then poorer self sustaining places with strong culture, work ethic and historical rule of law.

But i think here the question is less about global depression and more about cutting down your interactions with the us govt. there are plenty of places where you can live comfortably and not have to deal with homeland minions for ages.

aphlaque_duck's picture

Excellent point. I would add that even within the US, there are better places than others as far as this is concerned.

I went from CA to NC. The weather is tolerable, heating and general costs of living are low. Acceptable land and climate, esp rainfall, for small ag. Long growing season. Even just outside the cities there are plenty of homesteaders and viable small farms.

I do NOT like being close to the universities, although I don't like being around uneducated people either so what can you do. Most of my neighbors work directly for the university or some supplier. But I feel out of place anywhere and this is nothing new. 

When the education bubble bursts, I expect my home to lose value but I'll be ready to go out and trade silver for land all over this town. It's a reasonable place to hunker down and I think it will be a great place to rebuild.

NeedtoSecede's picture

Excellent point @aduck, and one I have been trying to spread whenever I can. Parts of the USSA are still relatively free, and, most days, you are left alone and can live your life. Mostly the south and flyover country where the "elites" think only hicks and rednecks live.

And I think this is the only hope this country has left. If people with brains and a sense of freedom leave CA over time, CA gets weaker. Some state in flyover country gets stronger. Over a couple generations NY, IL, CA, and all the other oppressive places implode while those of us in the free states thrive and can eventually demand our soveriegnty back from DC. Secession without all that messy war stuff. Secession Lite, if you will.

I know it is a pipe dream, but it really is the only hope for longterm viability as a nation.

Handful of Dust's picture

Chapel Hll used to be a nice, safe place...times have changed all over:


Eve Carson, the student body president of the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill, was found dead on a street about one mile from campus early Wednesday morning.

The Chapel Hill Police Department responded to a report of gunshots around 5 a.m. Wednesday morning, and found a young woman lying dead on the road. She had been shot several times, including a shot in the head. One of two 9-1-1 callers reported hearing a woman screaming.


Lovette, 20, is charged with first-degree murder in the shooting death of Carson. Authorities say Lovett and Demario James Atwater kidnapped Carson, forced her to withdraw money from an ATM and then shot her five times.

"Before [Lovette] even shot her...she was saying, 'Let's pray,'" 20-year-old Jayson McNeil said, recounting a March 2008 conversation he had with Lovette, who is charged with murder in the crime, CBS affiliate WRAL reports.

aphlaque_duck's picture

Yes there is tension, racial as well as financial status. I am on the outskirts, where it starts to turn rural. We've had some burglaries but it's always trivial shit - they'll smash and grab a couple laptops, but never when people are home. The police are fast and courteous. 

I don't like going into town, not because I fear for my safety but because I just can't stand the insipid leftist college students. They have no idea that the shit we've rained down on the rest of the world is coming to them soon too. No idea how it is that their frivolous lives are possible. Obama '12 sticker right next to the peace sticker on their bumper. 

ImReady's picture

I'm going to hide out on the south side of Chicago then. It'll be just another day at the zoo.