This Moment Of "Electrifying" Football Comedy Brought To You By The "Greenest Game" In Superbowl History

Tyler Durden's picture


While it is now unanimous that Solyndra just won the funniest ad of the Superbowl by a mile, while we await for electricity to return to the Superdome (a stadium which has seen some $471 million in taxpayer funds since Katrina, and apparently not nearly enough) as the Boeing battery used to power up Super Bowl 47 is replaced, we wish to bring to our readers this message of supreme ironic poetry delivered by none other than the US Department of Energy.


While the Baltimore Ravens and San Francisco 49ers compete to hoist the Vince Lombardi trophy this weekend, eco-friendly fans and city leaders in New Orleans are competing to maximize sustainability practices to the fullest.


To make this the greenest Super Bowl, the New Orleans Host Committee has partnered with fans and the community to offset energy use across the major Super Bowl venues. The exterior of the Mercedes-Benz Superdome features more than 26,000 LED lights on 96 full-color graphic display panels, designed to wash the building in a spectrum of animated colors, patterns and images. The system draws only 10 kilowatts of electricity -- equivalent to the amount of energy used by a small home -- and the lights are expected to last for many years before needing replacement.


Off the football field, New Orleans is embracing energy efficiency with help from the Energy Department. The city retrofitted four libraries using an integrative design approach -- adding motion sensor lights, energy-efficient heating and cooling systems, and upgrades to the building envelopes. These improvements helped cut the libraries’ energy costs by 30 percent and serve as a standard for other city-owned buildings. New Orleans streets feature more than 1,200 energy-efficient light fixtures. In addition to saving the city money on energy costs -- an estimated $70,000 annually -- the new lights help the city reduce routine maintenance due to their longer lifespan.


Embracing energy efficiency and renewable energy is having a profound impact on attracting developers and private industry in the New Orleans’ re-building efforts. The push to re-invent this destination city contributes to makingSunday’s game the greenest in Super Bowl history.

... And darkest

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Sun, 02/03/2013 - 22:08 | 3212156 ACP
ACP's picture

Almost like a commentary on the economy...

Sun, 02/03/2013 - 22:10 | 3212163 Spirit Of Truth
Spirit Of Truth's picture

Indeed. The Dow just closed at the psychologically important 14K mark:

Sun, 02/03/2013 - 22:17 | 3212187 Zer0head
Zer0head's picture

Bush's fault

Sun, 02/03/2013 - 22:22 | 3212202 Mark Carney
Mark Carney's picture

There was a game?

Sun, 02/03/2013 - 22:32 | 3212237 TheFourthStooge-ing
TheFourthStooge-ing's picture

Al Qaida suicide squirrel fulfills his mission, chewing through the power line insulation separating him from Paradise (and 72 gerbils).

Sun, 02/03/2013 - 23:00 | 3212335 jballz
jballz's picture


No self-respecting squirrel would ever fuck a gerbil. You never know where those disgusting things have been. 



Sun, 02/03/2013 - 23:12 | 3212373 MisterMousePotato
MisterMousePotato's picture


Mon, 02/04/2013 - 06:16 | 3212720 GetZeeGold
GetZeeGold's picture



Expect more interruptions as we go.........forward.

Mon, 02/04/2013 - 08:52 | 3212847 trav777
trav777's picture

WTF need have they of libraries in NO?!?

Mon, 02/04/2013 - 13:27 | 3213641 Matt
Matt's picture

Free public internet access.

Sun, 02/03/2013 - 23:28 | 3212411 Never One Roach
Never One Roach's picture

Dreamliners Still Grounded:


WASHINGTON — At the same time the government certified Boeing's 787 Dreamliners as safe, federal rules barred the type of batteries used to power the airliner's electrical systems from being carried as cargo on passenger planes because of the fire risk.

Dreamliners worldwide were grounded nearly three weeks ago after lithium ion batteries that are part of the planes led to a fire in one plane and smoke in a second.



Sun, 02/03/2013 - 23:34 | 3212432 TheFourthStooge-ing
TheFourthStooge-ing's picture

So you're saying that......Dreamliners are like gerbils?

Hmmmmm.......nope, I'm still not seeing the connection.

Sun, 02/03/2013 - 23:44 | 3212456 JOYFUL
JOYFUL's picture

think man.....think!

Neither fly.

(unlike squirrels, which sometime do)

Mon, 02/04/2013 - 00:15 | 3212512 TheFourthStooge-ing
TheFourthStooge-ing's picture


Mon, 02/04/2013 - 00:26 | 3212230 jerry_theking_lawler
jerry_theking_lawler's picture

Mon, 02/04/2013 - 13:18 | 3213612 escargot
escargot's picture

Why the fuck do so many people write "It's Bush's fault" on every friggin comment board on the web?  Jesus H. Christ you people need to get a new schtick.  

Sun, 02/03/2013 - 22:29 | 3212188 DoChenRollingBearing
DoChenRollingBearing's picture

I write about Barron's when the lights go out there.  LOL!

Review of Barron's: Dated 4 February 2013

Mon, 02/04/2013 - 08:11 | 3212781 blindfaith
blindfaith's picture

Perhaps we can hand over 475 million dollars of tax payer money to them too.

Way is no one commenting on supporting a private business with tax money?  Hey, I like the NFL too, but like NASCAR...these are privately owned businesses and THIS is what I CAN CALL REAL entitlement !!!

Sun, 02/03/2013 - 22:28 | 3212192 Pure Evil
Pure Evil's picture

I find it hard to believe that after watching the news reports during Hurricane Katrina that New Orleans ever had need of a library.

Mon, 02/04/2013 - 08:36 | 3212816 mtomato2
mtomato2's picture

That was delicious pure evil.

Mon, 02/04/2013 - 13:29 | 3213647 Matt
Matt's picture

Or perhaps, they need libraries more than anyone else. 

Sun, 02/03/2013 - 23:57 | 3212478 El Oregonian
El Oregonian's picture

Hey, great non-energy use! Sustain... er, sust... ah, shit... SUPER AWESOME FOSSIL FUEL-POWERED WINS THIS ROUND!!!

Sun, 02/03/2013 - 22:12 | 3212167 ihedgemyhedges
ihedgemyhedges's picture

Too much coverage of the "gays in the NFL issue" this week.  So I acted.



Sun, 02/03/2013 - 23:43 | 3212453 JacktheTab
JacktheTab's picture

There is no God, you homophobic, superstitious loser.

Mon, 02/04/2013 - 00:02 | 3212490 El Oregonian
El Oregonian's picture

Slow down Jacked-in-the-ass, it was only a joke, Dumbass. Jeesh...

Mon, 02/04/2013 - 00:36 | 3212546 JacktheTab
JacktheTab's picture

Looking for the joke with a microscope.  - Iggy


Mon, 02/04/2013 - 01:04 | 3212580 Fedaykinx
Fedaykinx's picture

it's right next to your sense of humor, so if you manage to find one with that microsope, you'll find both.

Mon, 02/04/2013 - 08:38 | 3212818 mtomato2
mtomato2's picture

Now, now..

Is that any way to treat our newest dickhead troll?

Mon, 02/04/2013 - 08:05 | 3212771 blindfaith
blindfaith's picture

You know...real straight men don't give a hoot about it one way or the other, so three cheers for the men of the NFL. 

But you have blasphem God for one of his creations, such closeted gall.

This is the kind of crap posting that drives away constructive commentary.

Zerohedge needs a moderator.

Mon, 02/04/2013 - 08:39 | 3212821 mtomato2
mtomato2's picture

And YOU need a fucking sense of humor.

Mon, 02/04/2013 - 08:45 | 3212833 Ghordius
Ghordius's picture

"Zerohedge needs a moderator"? LOL

Sun, 02/03/2013 - 22:21 | 3212198 MrSteve
MrSteve's picture

Wax on, wax off, energy and power are always ephemerial, lights turning on and turning off.

Pay your bills and see the power stay on!

How much longer can the USA pay the power bill? That's the $64,000 super question.

Sun, 02/03/2013 - 22:42 | 3212277 a growing concern
a growing concern's picture

How long?  Not long.  'Cause what you reap, is what you sow.

Mon, 02/04/2013 - 09:29 | 3212914 trav777
trav777's picture

well, we produce most our electricity with coal and nuclear and NG, so yeah we ought to be ok

Mon, 02/04/2013 - 00:11 | 3212505 natty light
natty light's picture

In other news:

We just clicked over 16,500,000,000,000 today, according to

Mon, 02/04/2013 - 00:48 | 3212565 rotagen
rotagen's picture

Greenest lights, dumbest game in history.  Bunch of overweight american cows with buzzcuts covered with padding.  Wussies.  Play a real sport Soccer or Australian football, bitches.

Mon, 02/04/2013 - 08:43 | 3212831 mtomato2
mtomato2's picture

I, ah, take it you've never actually WATCHED the game?

Mon, 02/04/2013 - 01:13 | 3212590 Frankie Carbone
Frankie Carbone's picture

Bread and Circuses, Bread and Circuses. The Gladiators of Baltimore have slayed the slaves of San Francisco.

All hail Ceasar!

Mon, 02/04/2013 - 03:01 | 3212651 Freddie
Freddie's picture

I don't watch shit propaganda TV or Hollywood brainwashing but I was invited to a party for the game.

Anyone see Jim Harbaugh's brother (John ? from the Ravens) yelling at the league official because the lights went off?  Like the guy had any control of the lights.  LOL!

The best part of the game was watching the two brother coaches lose their temper and go mental.  Jim Harbaugh is almost a headcase.  

Mon, 02/04/2013 - 03:40 | 3212668 bobthehorse
bobthehorse's picture

Green Super Bowl?

Are you kidding me?

I've got your green Super Bowl.

It's hanging between my legs.

Douche bags.

Mon, 02/04/2013 - 09:20 | 3212887 luk427
luk427's picture

Not just the silver market is manipulated. after watching last night super bowl game this link should shed some light on sports.

Sun, 02/03/2013 - 22:09 | 3212157 MrX
MrX's picture


Sun, 02/03/2013 - 22:10 | 3212159 Jeremy Roenick
Jeremy Roenick's picture

You didn't build that light!



Sun, 02/03/2013 - 22:09 | 3212160 Zombie Investor
Zombie Investor's picture

Surprised to hear some claiming it's Bush's fault.  Never liked the guy, but not sure why he is being blamed...

Sun, 02/03/2013 - 22:22 | 3212204 Overfed
Overfed's picture

Umm...the /sarc is implied.

Sun, 02/03/2013 - 22:31 | 3212232 The Shootist
The Shootist's picture


Mon, 02/04/2013 - 00:07 | 3212498 JOYFUL
JOYFUL's picture

Come on man, get your head out of your zombie ass!

Don't tell me you fell  for that phony story that 43 was sitting in New Orleans  just to read a kindergarten class "MY PET GOAT" when the Towers went down...

just like his spook old man, Bush was out doing mischief - taking down the power supply for Merika's  iconic game and visceral self image was planned long the same gang of bozo boxcutter Saudi billionaires who left the States on a chartered flight within hours of reducing Larry Silversteins' whole world to a pile of rubble.


Mon, 02/04/2013 - 02:16 | 3212635 merizobeach
merizobeach's picture

"reducing Larry Silversteins' whole world to a pile of rubble."

Don't you mean, converting Larry's rented world into $6 billion in cash that he can keep?  Of course, there is the issue of the monthly $10 million in rent that's due til the end of the century, but somehow I doubt the lying murderous weasel is sweating it.

Mon, 02/04/2013 - 05:52 | 3212712 JOYFUL
JOYFUL's picture

umm, bud, don't take this personal or anything, but I think you missed a little bit of the punch line there.

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