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Mariano Rajoy's Mindblowing Defense: "It Is All Untrue, Except For Some Things"

Tyler Durden's picture


In case there was any doubt that the European circus could get any more ridiculous, here comes Spain's uber-unpopular Prime Minister Mariano Rajoy, already embroiled in a massive kickback political scandal, with a quote that just blows everyone away: "I repeat what I said Saturday: everything that has been said about me and my colleagues in the party is untrue, except for some things that have been published by some media outlets." And scene as your frontal lobe explodes.

From El Pais:

Answering reporters’ questions for the first time since details emerged late last week about an alleged slush fund his Popular Party (PP) controlled, Prime Minister Mariano Rajoy said on Monday in Berlin that all the information that has been published by the media “is untrue — except for some things.”


The somewhat confusing statement came during a question-and-answer session Rajoy held alongside German Chancellor Angela Merkel following their meeting to discuss Spain’s economy and the reforms being carried out by his government.


“I repeat what I said Saturday: everything that has been said about me and my colleagues in the party is untrue, except for some things that have been published by some media outlets,” the 57-year-old prime minister said.


The conservative leader did not clarify what things he believes are false, nor did he answer a Spanish reporter’s question as to who he or his party plan on suing for alleging that many officials, including himself, were given bonuses from a secret fund on top of their regular salaries.




On Saturday, Rajoy appeared before the cameras to refute the allegations, but reporters were kept in a separate room and not allowed to ask the prime minister any questions.


A visibly upset Merkel had to respond on two occasions to questions about the ongoing corruption cases in Spain, including an uncomfortable mention about illegal financing in her conservative Christian Democratic Union in 1999, when Helmut Kohl was leader. At one point she tried to avoid answering a reporter’s question on whether she was concerned about Spanish corruption.


“What is important is the relationship between the two governments,” she said.


Meanwhile, more PP officials have come forward to acknowledge the information contained in Bárcenas’ bookkeeping. Santiago Abascal, a former PP member of the provincial parliament in Álava, whose name appears as receiving two million pesetas [about 12,000 euros] in 1999, said he asked the party for the money after his business was attacked by terrorists. “I told the party that I couldn’t make ends meet and they gave me two million pesetas,” he said.

Luckily, while it is governed by pathological liars, Spain would never lie about its Services PMI number, the key reason for the overnight 100 pips and Dow Jones futures move higher.

The best news: Europe is truly "fixed", if only in the football game context.


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Tue, 02/05/2013 - 08:43 | 3215858 GetZeeGold
GetZeeGold's picture



It's only true if you see it on tee vee.

Tue, 02/05/2013 - 08:52 | 3215876 Harlequin001
Harlequin001's picture

Nope, still don't see any problem here...

Tue, 02/05/2013 - 08:56 | 3215888 TotalCarp
TotalCarp's picture

Until pitchforks come out the truth shall not..

Tue, 02/05/2013 - 08:58 | 3215894 Middle_Finger_Market
Middle_Finger_Market's picture

Europe is up, only because it is not down. Do you SEE?? 

Tue, 02/05/2013 - 08:59 | 3215898 TotalCarp
TotalCarp's picture

That is indeed the logic du jour, i do agree 

Tue, 02/05/2013 - 09:17 | 3215938 Stackers
Stackers's picture

Hey, maybe Mario knows what the meaning of "IS" is.

Tue, 02/05/2013 - 10:06 | 3216034 TruthInSunshine
TruthInSunshine's picture

 "...except for some things that have been published by some media outlets,” the 57-year-old prime minister said.


Translation:  "...except for most things that have been published by most media outlets."

Tue, 02/05/2013 - 10:07 | 3216041 Manthong
Manthong's picture

We should expect no more from him that we do from our own politicians and statesmen.

It’s like votes from John Kerry.. as long as he acted in good faith except for when he acted against it, everything is alright.

Tue, 02/05/2013 - 10:12 | 3216048 TruthInSunshine
TruthInSunshine's picture
Jean-Claude Juncker TRIBUTE Video

Featuring his greatest hits, such as: "When it becomes serious, you have to lie." (Wenn es ernst wird, muss man lügen)

Tue, 02/05/2013 - 10:12 | 3216050 pods
pods's picture

I just cannot believe he doubled down on stupid.


Tue, 02/05/2013 - 10:26 | 3216077 Muppet Pimp
Muppet Pimp's picture

"When it becomes serious, you have to take kickbacks"

- M Rajoy

Tue, 02/05/2013 - 10:53 | 3216161 HoofHearted
HoofHearted's picture

Seriously, honey, I never touched her. Well, except her breasts, her vagina, and then my penis in her mouth. 

Love, Bill Clinton

Tue, 02/05/2013 - 12:55 | 3216595 TruthInSunshine
TruthInSunshine's picture

Other Famous "Wisdom" Du Jour.


  • "There's never been a better time to buy a home."  NAR
  • "Just the tip. I promise...I'm in love with you, baby."  -  Name Unknown
Tue, 02/05/2013 - 13:41 | 3216801 rotagen
rotagen's picture

"My facts are never wrong.  And when I say never, I mean they often are"  Jiminy Glick.

Tue, 02/05/2013 - 08:44 | 3215862 jubber
jubber's picture

IBEX only up 220 points on the back of that!!!  Can you believe this shit casino

Tue, 02/05/2013 - 08:49 | 3215870 From Germany Wi...
From Germany With Love's picture

Stop spreading these myths about Europe on the internet or else Brussels will need to pay special attention to you through our brand spanking new internet polit commissars. /sarc

Tue, 02/05/2013 - 08:55 | 3215887 CPL
CPL's picture

Yes, they will agressively fill out a form and take 14 weeks off with pay.

Take that!

Tue, 02/05/2013 - 09:01 | 3215900 From Germany Wi...
From Germany With Love's picture

You're probably just another one of those "EU public servants to become a Twitter troll in office hours"...  all of you are!

Tue, 02/05/2013 - 09:41 | 3215974 shovelhead
shovelhead's picture

Nigel Farage is a bed wetter.

Check please.

Tue, 02/05/2013 - 11:05 | 3216220 From Germany Wi...
From Germany With Love's picture

We'll pay you in Euros as soon as Super-Mario hits ctrl+p.

Tue, 02/05/2013 - 08:52 | 3215879 EscapeKey
EscapeKey's picture

Yes, I can.

The equity market rise has nothing to do with the peasants.

Tue, 02/05/2013 - 08:46 | 3215864 Killtruck
Killtruck's picture

I did not have sex with that woman...except all of those times I did.

Tue, 02/05/2013 - 08:54 | 3215875 GetZeeGold
GetZeeGold's picture



....because you really can't classify them as women yet - The Hon. U.S. Sen. Robert Menendez 


Tue, 02/05/2013 - 08:53 | 3215883 EscapeKey
EscapeKey's picture

At least Clinton used his power to fuck someone.

I have the feeling that plenty of bureaucrats just like to feel powerful, as they're sadly lacking in the penis department. And that counts for both men and women.

Tue, 02/05/2013 - 09:04 | 3215907 francis_sawyer
francis_sawyer's picture

How many bitcoins does it require to actually "feel the power" cursing through you?

Tue, 02/05/2013 - 09:07 | 3215916 EscapeKey
EscapeKey's picture

what a sad little man you are


Tue, 02/05/2013 - 09:54 | 3215919 francis_sawyer
francis_sawyer's picture

Darn... I was hoping for a straight answer... My hypothesis was that you would need only one because they are going to Pluto!


& besides ~ How could I possibly be sad?... ZH is a non-stop comedy reel!...

Tue, 02/05/2013 - 10:06 | 3216038 hooligan2009
hooligan2009's picture

wish you would stop! :>)

Tue, 02/05/2013 - 11:09 | 3216226 francis_sawyer
francis_sawyer's picture

Yeah ~ I'd better stop... francis_sawyer is singlehandedly ruining the future of bitcoin for everybody... Sorry...

Tue, 02/05/2013 - 08:49 | 3215868 LongSoupLine
LongSoupLine's picture

Well, that's worth +10 fucking ES easily.

Fuck you Rajoy. May the Unemployeded youth in your fucking corrupt country put a fucking pitchfork up your fucking criminal dick hiding ass, you fucking prick. That goes for the rest of your EU fucking asshole crony shitheads too.

Tue, 02/05/2013 - 08:54 | 3215885 Kaiser Sousa
Kaiser Sousa's picture

Hey Soup -

good morning...nothing like a word from you to get me on the "good foot" for the day...

cheers and stay real homeboy...

Tue, 02/05/2013 - 11:01 | 3216203 tango
tango's picture

Oh come off it.  Graft and European politics are as old as the continent.  People don't give a rat's ass if he took some kickbacks.  In fact, most Spainards would think he's a fool for not doing it.  This is absolutely nothing new and certainly not something to get all worked about.  It's the way things are done in Espana. 

Tue, 02/05/2013 - 08:49 | 3215869 francis_sawyer
francis_sawyer's picture

It depends on what the definition of the word 'is' is...

Tue, 02/05/2013 - 08:51 | 3215873 forrestdweller
forrestdweller's picture

a bad liar.

Tue, 02/05/2013 - 08:52 | 3215878 WaEver
WaEver's picture

it doesn't matter until it matters only then it won't matter anymore as it should have mattered before.


Tue, 02/05/2013 - 08:52 | 3215881 Sudden Debt
Sudden Debt's picture


besides the penetration part...

Tue, 02/05/2013 - 09:06 | 3215915 hooligan2009
hooligan2009's picture

"blow me" says bill " i did not stain that womans dress" clinton..


Tue, 02/05/2013 - 08:56 | 3215889 Shevva
Shevva's picture

As someone commented earlier, put this into law enforcement language. No I did not shot all those people, just the ones I meant.

Be intresting to see how Twatter is used when the lynchings start. Long Twats if thats your thing.

Tue, 02/05/2013 - 08:56 | 3215890 max2205
max2205's picture

Casa dia

Tue, 02/05/2013 - 08:59 | 3215899 agent default
agent default's picture

When the going gets tough, you have to lie.  Europe as usual.

Tue, 02/05/2013 - 09:58 | 3216021 toothpicker
toothpicker's picture

Algos don´t care about lies

Tue, 02/05/2013 - 09:00 | 3215901 Global Hunter
Global Hunter's picture

A common thief couldn't use that excuse in court "I didn't steal anything that you allege I did...except for some things" and get away with it.

This is getting beyond absurd.

Tue, 02/05/2013 - 09:02 | 3215906 williambanzai7
williambanzai7's picture

What does Beyonce think?

Tue, 02/05/2013 - 09:05 | 3215912 hooligan2009
hooligan2009's picture

you think rajoy is wearing black panties too?

Tue, 02/05/2013 - 09:08 | 3215917 williambanzai7
williambanzai7's picture

I suspect he is wearing a Spiderman Euro speedos.

Tue, 02/05/2013 - 09:25 | 3215955 waterwitch
waterwitch's picture

Like this?


[I actually met this guy!]

Tue, 02/05/2013 - 10:03 | 3216028 hooligan2009
hooligan2009's picture

so.....rajoy is spiderman, that means merkel is wonderwoman...draghi is superman (think glasses)...wen jiabao is PSY (think gangnam style, heh) ..cameron is the joker.. monti is the shadow...and lagarde is cat woman!

Tue, 02/05/2013 - 14:26 | 3216958 tango
tango's picture

Who is Obama?  The incredible shrinking man?

Tue, 02/05/2013 - 23:17 | 3218762 WTFUD
WTFUD's picture

O is George Bushmeat

Tue, 02/05/2013 - 09:04 | 3215910 hooligan2009
hooligan2009's picture

ha ha ha ha ha!! (what's that in spanish?)

i am only guilty of the things you caught me for! i am innocent of all wrong doing you haven't caught me for..

innocent until proven guilty...who would have thought it.

Rajoy: "it really doesn't matter in the least about the victims of the corruption..they are only voters and are very very stupid. i can take bribes and kick backs and make them live in the gutter! viva rajoy! i sacrificed a life without corruption to become a politician!"

ha ha ha ha ha

Tue, 02/05/2013 - 09:41 | 3215975 youngman
youngman's picture

ja ja ja ja........

Incredible the attitude of these "rulers".....

Tue, 02/05/2013 - 09:14 | 3215926 supafuckinmingster
supafuckinmingster's picture

.....Read my lips.......NO NEW.....erm..........SLUSHFUNDS....!

Tue, 02/05/2013 - 09:13 | 3215927 ziggy59
ziggy59's picture

Welcome to Yogi Berra World

Tue, 02/05/2013 - 10:00 | 3216023 booboo
booboo's picture

"When you come to a fork in the road, one offering a bribe and the other offering a lie, take it"

Mariano Berra

Tue, 02/05/2013 - 09:14 | 3215930 q99x2
q99x2's picture

Banksteristic banksterism any way you look at it.

Tue, 02/05/2013 - 09:16 | 3215935 justinius1969
justinius1969's picture

Cue Benny Hill theme tune..

Tue, 02/05/2013 - 09:28 | 3215957 toomanyfakecons...
toomanyfakeconservatives's picture

Are you kidding me? In Amerika, we've been dealing with bald-faced lies like this ever since Bush Sr. had JFK shot dead in broad daylight and the sock puppets blamed it on a minimum-wage nobody.

Tue, 02/05/2013 - 09:30 | 3215959 Seasmoke
Seasmoke's picture

Time to shoot the fuckers first and ask questions second.

Tue, 02/05/2013 - 09:43 | 3215977 Jon Steed
Jon Steed's picture

Political leaders. All fucked all talk jibberish. No further explanation required. With fuckwits like this running the country is it any reason we are in the state we are today.

Btfd. Fuck you bernanke

Tue, 02/05/2013 - 09:50 | 3216001 Treason Season
Treason Season's picture

The Spanish press used to call Zapatero, 'Bambi."  but  Rajoy  sems to have more of that, " deer in the headlights" look. Pobre España!

Tue, 02/05/2013 - 09:53 | 3216010 Non Passaran
Non Passaran's picture

Merkel: the corruption isn't important. It's only important that the two corrupt sides are getting along just great!

The scumbags! 

Tue, 02/05/2013 - 09:59 | 3216022 10PastMidnight
10PastMidnight's picture

The comedy must go on!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Tue, 02/05/2013 - 09:59 | 3216024 HoaX
HoaX's picture

It´s all the fault of the Chinese! I´m talking about the football of course.

Tue, 02/05/2013 - 10:02 | 3216026 luckylongshot
luckylongshot's picture

Is this the first truthful thing said by a politician this year?

Tue, 02/05/2013 - 10:07 | 3216040 hooligan2009
hooligan2009's picture

does farting count?

Tue, 02/05/2013 - 10:11 | 3216047 pods
pods's picture

You just cannot make this up.  They actually had a press conference where he came out and said this?

"I am a scumbag, liar and thief, but not nearly the liar, scumbag and thief that they portrayed me as."

Can I please just get off this ride now?  

My head hurts.


Tue, 02/05/2013 - 10:21 | 3216065 Quonk
Quonk's picture

...reminds me of the Ronald Reagan Iran-Contra classic "there is absolutely no truth to many of the allegations...."

Tue, 02/05/2013 - 10:49 | 3216143 Glass Seagull
Glass Seagull's picture

"I did not take all of those bribes, only some of them."

Tue, 02/05/2013 - 11:11 | 3216218 Dewey Cheatum Howe
Dewey Cheatum Howe's picture

I wish I could muster up the righteous indignation for this one but I just have to laugh and shake my head. That righteous stuff has to start on the streets in Spain. They should just put people like Rajoy in a ring with a bull and enjoy the show. Have him dressed as a clown and watch him run for his life from the angry bull. No lamp posts or bullets.

Tue, 02/05/2013 - 11:50 | 3216342 venturen
venturen's picture

He needs Clinton(Bill, Hillary has fallen and can't get up) as his lawyer!

Tue, 02/05/2013 - 12:17 | 3216451 Joe A
Joe A's picture

And Spain is not Uganda either except when it is

Tue, 02/05/2013 - 12:59 | 3216616 americanspirit
americanspirit's picture

The Spanish people deserve so much better than this. Where is their self-respect?

Tue, 02/05/2013 - 13:28 | 3216745 Paracelsus
Paracelsus's picture

And they were threatening a military coup when some of their provinces began talking about secession.

I think Spain and Greece (and maybe Italy) will end up under military rule before long.

The question becomes will they renege on the debt, and will the soldiers fire on Grannies? 

Tue, 02/05/2013 - 23:30 | 3218808 WTFUD
WTFUD's picture

Yes shoot to kill to maintain democracy.

Tue, 02/05/2013 - 15:59 | 3217306 Kiwi Pete
Kiwi Pete's picture

He has an uncanny resemblance to Jon Corzine. Perhaps they are related.

Tue, 02/05/2013 - 18:38 | 3217932 Volaille de Bresse
Volaille de Bresse's picture

"I have the feeling that plenty of bureaucrats just like to feel powerful, as they're sadly lacking in the penis department. And that counts for both men and women"


In my book that's a good thing : have you ever looked at Catherine Ashton?

Wed, 02/06/2013 - 03:37 | 3219224 Hobie
Hobie's picture

Nojoy anywhere!

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