Twinkies Union Issues Ultimatum: We Get Our Jobs Back Or The Company Gets It Again

Tyler Durden's picture


Following a brief infomercial for Gordian Group's apparent skills in bringing dough-makers and yeast-cooking perfection to the table - arguing that they are here to preserve jobs (for skilled workers who have been apparently working for below-market wages) - and maximizing value for the Bakery Union; Peter Kaufman stops the pretense of helping and goes straight for the threat. "We are here to work with credible bidders to get started right away with a great work-force; on the other hand, if bidders don't want to work with us (and re-hire Hostess employees), the union will ask the AFL-CIO to put any Hostess product on its 'boycott product' list." But "we're here to help," he reminds the somewhat stunned CNBC anchor. It seems beggars are once again choosers... as the entitled roll on.

Of course, far be it from us to point out the incredible irony that it was the labor union's unwillingness to negotiate that forced the company to run out of cash; and now that same union, that effectively blew up their employer, demands to have jobs restored as if nothing happened, and likely with the same (apparently higher comp) demands entitlements as before.


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Tue, 02/05/2013 - 16:49 | 3217498 TruthInSunshine
TruthInSunshine's picture

Stuffing that edible, food-like filling into those twinkies is highly skilled labor, taking years of training, certification & demanding tests to master.

I must side with the union, here.

Tue, 02/05/2013 - 16:51 | 3217511 Say What Again
Say What Again's picture

Twinkies, Ding-Dongs, Ho-Hos, etc.

We want MOAR!!!

Tue, 02/05/2013 - 16:54 | 3217532 Half_A_Billion_...
Half_A_Billion_Hollow_Points's picture

You guys following the latest dot-com bubble?  Dozens and Dozens of startups valued over a fucking billion...


forgive me for linking to Business Insider and NY Times shitholes... 

Tue, 02/05/2013 - 16:58 | 3217553 TruthInSunshine
TruthInSunshine's picture

Circa-1999 absurdity 2.0

I say that with absolute confidence. The timing of the epic implosion that incinerates trillions in paper fiat "wealth" (along with that related to the other Bernank'd-blown-bubbles) is the only variable.

Tue, 02/05/2013 - 17:00 | 3217564 The Juggernaut
The Juggernaut's picture

Wow unions distorting free markets?

Tue, 02/05/2013 - 17:16 | 3217624 redpill
redpill's picture

Do they really think the people who care so little about anything demonstrated by stuffing their face with Twinkies are really going to give a shit, much less actually modify their behavior, based upon a boycott call from a dying union that is drowning itself with its own myopia and stupidity?

Tue, 02/05/2013 - 17:18 | 3217630 Say What Again
Say What Again's picture

Have you seen the Chocolate Creme filled Twinkies?

They look sooooo delicious!!!

Tue, 02/05/2013 - 17:25 | 3217663 redpill
redpill's picture

Michelle Obama likes to sneak a few of those while Barry is out back puffing on a Marlboro.

Tue, 02/05/2013 - 17:39 | 3217723 Dr. Richard Head
Dr. Richard Head's picture

And the funny thing she doesn't eat them....if you know what I mean.  Wink, wink, nudge, nudge and all that jazz.

Tue, 02/05/2013 - 17:55 | 3217778 Popo
Popo's picture

Move the whole thing to a cheaper state and call it a day. Fire them all.

Tue, 02/05/2013 - 18:09 | 3217830 Texas Ginslinger
Texas Ginslinger's picture

blah.....blah....blah....the union will ask the AFL-CIO to put any Hostess product on its 'boycott product' list."

Considering that their products are a major contributor to obesity, i call that a step in the right direction...

Tue, 02/05/2013 - 18:42 | 3217938 notbot
notbot's picture

Collusion is only illegal for non-union folks.

Just like the tax on "Cadillac" health plans only applies to non-union folks.

And bankruptcy law too, that's for suckers who didn't pay for the right pres.

Tue, 02/05/2013 - 19:36 | 3218145 Enslavethechild...
EnslavethechildrenforBen's picture

The Union of Centrl Bankers you should worry about

Tue, 02/05/2013 - 19:38 | 3218152 Say What Again
Say What Again's picture

Excuse me -- I got lost in the "cloud."

Can you please give me directions to the "YUM" discussion?

Tue, 02/05/2013 - 19:44 | 3218178 flacon
flacon's picture

Market Top Forming 02-05-2013

Wed, 02/06/2013 - 00:55 | 3219030 Dixie Rect
Dixie Rect's picture

Union Fucktards...funny little critters, ain't they?

Tue, 02/05/2013 - 22:28 | 3218579 Karlus
Karlus's picture

Wait, their headquarters are in Irving (Dallas) Texas....not an expensive place, nor do we see a lot of Teamsters. Im guessing the bakeries are in other states....not sure

Tue, 02/05/2013 - 17:59 | 3217801 The Proletariat
The Proletariat's picture

Apparently, the wink wink is also an important facial expression when talking about yeast in their "product".....

Tue, 02/05/2013 - 19:41 | 3218165 Say What Again
Say What Again's picture

Brings new meaning to "Yeast Infection."

Tue, 02/05/2013 - 18:44 | 3217946 perchprism
perchprism's picture


And what's even funnier is that Barry isn't puffing on a cigarette, he's puffing on the Marlboro Man.

Tue, 02/05/2013 - 21:59 | 3218486 FEDbuster
FEDbuster's picture


Tue, 02/05/2013 - 22:15 | 3218537 kchrisc
kchrisc's picture

"Now that's funny, I don't care who you are."

I am someone that could give a shit what someone does in their own bed/home.

With that said, I bet that scumbag is a miserable fuck stuck in the Whitehouse without his bathhouse "buddies," as he is under extreme scrutiny which only leaves him Michelle to "scratch his itch." Eeeeewww!

I'll probably get "droned" for that because anyone that knows his sexual orientation is probably considered an "associated force."                    hujel

Tue, 02/05/2013 - 18:58 | 3218009 booboo
booboo's picture

I will have to correct you here, he smokes what the boyz in da hood affectionately call "Double O Bro's" or what we crackers call KOOLS.

Tue, 02/05/2013 - 19:17 | 3218088 TheFourthStooge-ing
TheFourthStooge-ing's picture

He ain't smokin' Winstones:

Tue, 02/05/2013 - 20:39 | 3218319 Intoxicologist
Intoxicologist's picture

ROR!  Make me laugh.


Tue, 02/05/2013 - 20:26 | 3218282 ebworthen
ebworthen's picture

He's not smoking Newport's?

Christian Brothers brandy then instead of Courvoisier?

Tue, 02/05/2013 - 17:29 | 3217681 NotApplicable
NotApplicable's picture

Let's see... WalMart's truck fleet (McClane) is non-union, so I'd say the AFL-CIO threat is "hollow."

Tue, 02/05/2013 - 21:44 | 3218387 Jerome Lester H...
Jerome Lester Horwitz's picture

Wal Mart's truck fleet is not McLane. McLane is a food service transportation company. Wal Mart trucking is done in house. Wal Mart Transportation LLC (DOT #63585 MC #311233) is one of the largest trucking companies in the world (6142 trucks,7366 drivers)Their corporate office is 311 North Walton Blvd
Bentonville, AR. McLane may haul food to Wal Mart but they are not Wal Mart's trucking company. Look at any Wal Mart semi truck that you see on the roadways and you will see that DOT/MC number on the door. McLane's trucking does business as Transco US DOT 1062707 MC # 441241 (4075 drivers, 2740 trucks). Corporate office 4747 McLane Pkwy Temple, TX.

Wed, 02/06/2013 - 02:02 | 3219118 RockyRacoon
RockyRacoon's picture

Looks like he tapped out.  Well... that's Fight Club!

Wed, 02/06/2013 - 18:43 | 3221544 Jerome Lester H...
Jerome Lester Horwitz's picture

Not really a big deal but I worked in trucking for many years as a driver and an owner. Wal Mart trucks are everywhere plus I have been to many different McLane terminals so I am familiar with the company.

Tue, 02/05/2013 - 19:49 | 3218190 Freewheelin Franklin
Freewheelin Franklin's picture

Have you seen the Chocolate Creme filled Twinkies?


Most disgusting think I ever ate, and I used to hang out with Divine (kidding).


Seriously, you need to come to Philly and get some Tastykakes or Entenmann's.

Tue, 02/05/2013 - 17:34 | 3217706 BullsNBeers
BullsNBeers's picture

The arrogance of these union fucktards would actually be amusing if they weren't so dangerous and politically connected.

Tue, 02/05/2013 - 17:49 | 3217762 Buckaroo Banzai
Buckaroo Banzai's picture

...and "connected" in other ways as well.

Tue, 02/05/2013 - 17:51 | 3217765 Frozen IcQb
Frozen IcQb's picture

The less of those garbage products on the shelves the better. Have an apple and an orange instead. Product of the USA.

Tue, 02/05/2013 - 19:36 | 3218147 lakecity55
lakecity55's picture

Yes, you are right, but "Bath House" no longer needs them now that he is Premier for Life.

Unions cannot exist in the New Twink Order.

Tue, 02/05/2013 - 19:50 | 3218195 donsluck
donsluck's picture

Dangerous? Arrogance? Was the financial collapse due to unions? Can you lay the blame for the Iraq/Afghanistan/Pakistan fiasco at their feet? I will never understand why people think it's ok for companies to organize and workers not. How else can you address the exploitive tendencies of corporations? Sure, curse the unions, lay down for the corporations. Poor, poor corporations, so abused, it's all so unfair.

Tue, 02/05/2013 - 20:03 | 3218221 GFKjunior
GFKjunior's picture

The majority of unions are now in the public sector, think teachers, postal workers, and the like.

Unions promote less accountability, worse service, and their wage demands mean higher taxes plain and simple.

Tue, 02/05/2013 - 20:19 | 3218265 nmewn
nmewn's picture

"The majority of unions are now in the public sector, think teachers, postal workers, and the like."

Well you'll love this...A is for

  • B is for banner, as in a protest banner hanging off a construction crane
  • L is for LGBTQ, as in Lesbian, Gay, Bi-sexual, Transgendered and Queer
  • T is for Trans, as in transgendered
  • Z is for Zapatistas, as in Mexican revolutionary leftists

    “This is an amazing book for toddlers,” wrote Oakland teachers union activist Mary Prophet.


    Tue, 02/05/2013 - 20:45 | 3218330 ersatzteil
    ersatzteil's picture

    Z is also for Zetas, another colorful Mexican entity.

    Tue, 02/05/2013 - 20:04 | 3218230 TotalCarp
    TotalCarp's picture

    I tell you what the issue with unions is. The "unions" have nothing to do with workers interests, they are self serving, brash assholes who despise workers and are motivated by greed and hatred of anyone who makes more money then them.

    Do you think these fkers cared about the workers when they killed the company in the first place? Seriously? How many families were left without income? Yes the company was trying to negotiate income down but you know what - you dont like your job go get a new one. Dont make the decision for 2 guys next to you that if you are not happy they should loose their jobs too. Thats a fucking union cancer for you.

    Tue, 02/05/2013 - 20:28 | 3218286 ebworthen
    ebworthen's picture

    Union bashing is passe.

    Compared to Wall Street and Washington, the Unions are pikers.

    Tue, 02/05/2013 - 19:59 | 3218213 ebworthen
    ebworthen's picture

    The Juggernaut said:  "Wow unions distorting free markets?"

    Please excuse me Sir, but what free markets do you speak of?

    Tue, 02/05/2013 - 20:55 | 3218357 Crtrvlt
    Crtrvlt's picture

    So preventing people from unionizing is free market? If people want to unionize let them. If companies want to negotiate and make promises to unions that they later can't fulfil knowing that unions may not concede to their new demands then so be it. Takes two to tango

    Tue, 02/05/2013 - 17:00 | 3217557 Say What Again
    Say What Again's picture

    Is this news about Twinkies causing the late day sell-off, or did the Bernank give the all-clear to start selling?

    I guess I didn't get the memo.

    Tue, 02/05/2013 - 17:21 | 3217645 Whoa Dammit
    Whoa Dammit's picture

    "The only arithmetic he ever got was hearing the referee count up to ten. "

    On The Waterfront

    Tue, 02/05/2013 - 17:24 | 3217655 redpill
    redpill's picture

    You need to pay closer attention to CNBC, it is NOT a sell off.  It's just "investors" deciding to do some "profit taking."  I mean, it's not like it's just a bunch of high frequency trading algorithms deciding to dump shit at the end of the day based upon some random bit of disinformation or unconfirmed rumor.

    Tue, 02/05/2013 - 17:50 | 3217764 Say What Again
    Say What Again's picture

    Point taken.

    I had my brainwashing device (TV) turned off.  But I have returned to the reservation, and I'm drinking orange koo-laid now.

    Please accept my apologies.

    Tue, 02/05/2013 - 18:00 | 3217804 LasVegasDave
    LasVegasDave's picture

    cocksucking extortionist

    Tue, 02/05/2013 - 19:11 | 3218055 thepixelpusher
    thepixelpusher's picture

    That would be the company execs of Hostess...

    who while running the company into the ground were rewarded. The people making the company decisions. You see Hostess isn't employee owned, so the failure rests with the people running it.

    Tue, 02/05/2013 - 19:37 | 3218150 TotalCarp
    TotalCarp's picture

    So fucking what? You job is not your right. You are not in north korea. You dont like your boss - go get another job. Oh, wait you cant can you coz you have fk all skills you are fat lazy and been sucking cock for union handout for the last 20 years.
    Unions can go fuck themselves.

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