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Broke US Postal Service Cuts Saturday Delivery

Tyler Durden's picture


The completely bankrupt US Postal Service, employer of some 500,000 government workers, which for the past two quarters has been surviving on liquidity fumes even as it posted it biggest ever loss in Fiscal 2012, and which recently announced its latest stamp price hike (which bought it two extra weeks of time), has just disclosed what was long anticipated: the end of Saturday mail delivery - a crushing blow to shippers of junk mail everywhere.

From The AP:

The financially struggling U.S. Postal Service says it plans to stop delivering mail on Saturdays, but continue delivering packages six days a week.


In an announcement scheduled for later Wednesday, the service is expected to say the cut, beginning in August, would mean a cost saving of about $2 billion annually.


The move accentuates one of the agency's strong points — package delivery has increased by 14 percent since 2010. The delivery of letters and other mail has declined with the increasing use of email and other Internet use.

Considering the USPS loss last year was $16 billion, all the postal office needs to do to return to profitability is cut delivery on 7 more days in the week and all shall be fixed. Sadly, we are confident some government worker just read this and a lightbulb went over their head. And no: taxing Americans $0.45 per email sent will not be a popular measure.

Of course, the inevitable outcome is that the USPS itself will have to be bailed out. In the meantime, the USPS can spend what little money it does not have on TV ads on channels such as CNBC whose viewers are certainly unaware of the services provided by this most bloated of legacy government entities.


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Wed, 02/06/2013 - 08:46 | 3219428 HoofHearted
HoofHearted's picture

Broke, bitchez.

Wed, 02/06/2013 - 08:51 | 3219439 GetZeeGold
GetZeeGold's picture



Just got an email with the bad news.

Wed, 02/06/2013 - 08:59 | 3219466 kliguy38
kliguy38's picture

wait until they get into their pensions......then the squealing begins

Wed, 02/06/2013 - 09:16 | 3219509 Town Crier
Town Crier's picture

The USPS is currently being kept alive by the Church of Scientology, I tthink Their gigantic glossy mailings, many weighing several pounds, are about the only things I get in the "mail". At least four such mailings day, conservatively.

Wed, 02/06/2013 - 09:20 | 3219522 GetZeeGold
GetZeeGold's picture



I'm sorta on the fence......should I give the cult all my money?


Junk shield : ON

Wed, 02/06/2013 - 09:25 | 3219534 ihedgemyhedges
ihedgemyhedges's picture

They're no more bankrupt than the Feds.  Just do like Bernanke and print................stamps of course.

Wed, 02/06/2013 - 09:51 | 3219619 TerminalDebt
TerminalDebt's picture

If that woman in the picture was my mailwoman I would use USPS more often and they wouldn't be broke

Wed, 02/06/2013 - 10:04 | 3219664 LedMizer
LedMizer's picture

Every time Tyler puts the picture of a hottie next to the story I can't help but click.  I could care less about the story, just want to see the hottie.

Wed, 02/06/2013 - 10:18 | 3219723 TheCanadianAustrian
TheCanadianAustrian's picture

Ironically, clicking on the story makes the hottie go away.

Wed, 02/06/2013 - 10:24 | 3219741 TerminalDebt
TerminalDebt's picture

bait and switch operation

Wed, 02/06/2013 - 11:27 | 3220004 TruthInSunshine
TruthInSunshine's picture

TIS's One Gratuitious Post For The Day (TOGPFTD):

*Borderline NSFW

I Prefer United Parcel Service Delivery Woman

Wed, 02/06/2013 - 11:36 | 3220046 Nostradalus
Nostradalus's picture

thanx truthinsunshine, that pic made my pencil spit lead.














































































Wed, 02/06/2013 - 12:40 | 3220273 Bunga Bunga
Wed, 02/06/2013 - 13:42 | 3220481 redpill
redpill's picture


Half the addresses get mail on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. 

The other half of the addresses get mail on Tuesday, Thursday, and Saturday.

Fire half the delivery workforce.  Save money on postal trucks, maintenance, and fuel.  Raise rates on junk mail.



Wed, 02/06/2013 - 23:55 | 3222158 Stuck on Zero
Stuck on Zero's picture

My suggestion to the postal service.  Fire all the employees and subcontract delivery to FedEx or UPS.


Wed, 02/06/2013 - 12:09 | 3220150 Papasmurf
Papasmurf's picture

That looks like a viagra delivery.

Wed, 02/06/2013 - 13:25 | 3220160 TruthInSunshine
TruthInSunshine's picture

She could make any need for viagra obsolete.

Shit, my 87 year old grandfather moves slowly but would hop on that like a horny, sloppy Rottweiler on a Labradoodle.

Wed, 02/06/2013 - 16:20 | 3221093 Meatier Shower
Meatier Shower's picture

Well, I know what brown can do for me!

Wed, 02/06/2013 - 12:23 | 3220212 Freddie
Freddie's picture

LOL!  I am starting to think The Tylers are part of Operation Mockingbird like eveyrthing else.

Wed, 02/06/2013 - 10:08 | 3219678 TheAntiBen
TheAntiBen's picture

I would like to nominate you for "Government Problem Solver Of The Year"...  Sadly, we all know they will not take your recommendation and we'll just have to wait for Hooters to take over the USPS before the government understands how they could have made this business model work.  Of course Hooters will have to change their logo to be an Eagle looking at you instead of an Owl to differientiate their two businesses.

Wed, 02/06/2013 - 13:51 | 3220526 Larry Dallas
Larry Dallas's picture

Fuck 'em.

I used to do a lot of direct mailings. Then i decided to go with Pitney Bowes.

Just to send out postcards requires a full time person to make sure that each letter or postcard is the same thickness, and size.

Then you have to sort by ZIP code. Or they will take it and not deliver them and place them in the trash.

I mean it. Fuck 'em. Get private equity guys in, buy them out, BK their pensions and start over again with head of some publically traded company to make it worth while.

Wed, 02/06/2013 - 21:38 | 3221947 MachineMan
MachineMan's picture

Now I feel somewhat guilty for throwing those mailings into the trash without reading them..

Wed, 02/06/2013 - 22:11 | 3222007 MilleniumJane
MilleniumJane's picture

As a veteran of bulk mailings for the small company I work for, I salute you.  Fuck 'em.

Wed, 02/06/2013 - 09:26 | 3219537 Stackers
Stackers's picture

What was it that idiot Bill Maher said about Obamacare and the post office ?

Wed, 02/06/2013 - 12:04 | 3220128 orez65
orez65's picture

I detest Bill Maher but I agree with him when asked about "American Exceptionalism"

He replied: 'Exceptionalism? Yes, 90% of the people in this country are stupid"

Sad but true, we just have it too good and believe that paper is money! 

Wed, 02/06/2013 - 12:38 | 3220262 Pure Evil
Pure Evil's picture

Yes, he ought to know, he continues to live in a country where 90% of the population is stupid. So, what does that say about him?

Wed, 02/06/2013 - 09:28 | 3219543 trav777
trav777's picture

if the USPS does this, what are black people in cities going to do for work?  The USPS is an absolutely critical organ of government policy to enhance diversity and to create an artificial black middle class which wouldn't exist otherwise.

Instead of cutting service, they should be expanding it, along with hiring and promotion of blacks.  WHO CARES how much a stamp costs?  That is small change for white people with all their privilege to pay to make up for the centuries of discrimination against black people.

Wed, 02/06/2013 - 09:32 | 3219555 Dangertime
Dangertime's picture

I read the other day how whites are having fewer and fewer children.

How are whites going to continue paying their slavery debt back to the blacks if they don't have more kids?  Yet more proof of the racism against blacks.

Wed, 02/06/2013 - 09:53 | 3219625 Hippocratic Oaf
Hippocratic Oaf's picture

I think Trav's falling into the same stance as MDB

Wed, 02/06/2013 - 10:59 | 3219904 Spastica Rex
Spastica Rex's picture

Not exactly.

Wed, 02/06/2013 - 10:00 | 3219644 knukles
knukles's picture

Fuck equality in Original Sin terms (Ain't any original sin, folks... if there is then we got real problems with stereotypes... ) The PO along with EBT, section 8 and other enslaving economic programs to maintain the ballot box ownership and mitigate the burning down of the whole of major inner cities is what it's all about.

Now, a bit on Original Sin.
(I'll go to hell for this...)
When's the last time a buncha drunken white trash burned their trailers to the ground in the middle of the NASCAR infield?


Wed, 02/06/2013 - 13:54 | 3220539 Larry Dallas
Larry Dallas's picture

Love it. +1000

Wed, 02/06/2013 - 12:05 | 3220134 orez65
orez65's picture

Fuck you, imbecile.

Wed, 02/06/2013 - 13:07 | 3220359 TraderTimm
TraderTimm's picture

They could always get a ZH account, put up a juvenile avatar and lie in wait - posting allusions to how certain races are subject to favoritism. Nah, on second thought they wouldn't. Only one person is that stupid.

Wed, 02/06/2013 - 09:41 | 3219582 Shevva
Wed, 02/06/2013 - 09:42 | 3219585 Shevva
Shevva's picture

Sorry read luahg = laugh, one to many wife beaters for lunch.

Wed, 02/06/2013 - 21:16 | 3221903 thisandthat
thisandthat's picture

Best comment there: "The only way to make a small fortune from investing (as non bank employed person) is to start with a large fortune." ;)

Wed, 02/06/2013 - 10:46 | 3219846 RealFinney
RealFinney's picture

Please clarify: Are you talking of the scientologists, or USPS?

Wed, 02/06/2013 - 09:25 | 3219532 DeadFred
DeadFred's picture

Who did you piss off to get on such a mailing list? I'm sorry for you. My biggest problem is that my mailbox is set in concrete. When the USPS goes out of business what will I do with that big useless pillar in the front yard?

Wed, 02/06/2013 - 09:51 | 3219620 Ruffcut
Ruffcut's picture

Then you can hide your gold in it?

Leave food and water in it for the homeless?

Tell your neighbors to return your tools by leaving them in the box?

If they go out of biz, then you'll be in big shit and mail will be the least of your worries.

Wed, 02/06/2013 - 10:59 | 3219903 Shevva
Shevva's picture

Rent it out to [insert favorite minority here]

Wed, 02/06/2013 - 13:27 | 3220441 trav777
trav777's picture

my buddy can take care of it

My first NSX was totaled taking out such a mailbox with my buddy driving's cool to see bricks going past your face at 60mph while sliding across a yard after he oversteered...luckily nobody was killed lol

Wed, 02/06/2013 - 13:43 | 3220492 Lord Koos
Lord Koos's picture

It's kind of too bad nobody was killed.

Wed, 02/06/2013 - 13:37 | 3220474 Sokhmate
Sokhmate's picture

You can put weed in there.

Wed, 02/06/2013 - 21:01 | 3221865 thisandthat
thisandthat's picture

Got fireplace?

Wed, 02/06/2013 - 09:22 | 3219525 NoDebt
NoDebt's picture

They already have.  I think the USPS failed to make a payent of like half a billion or so into their pension a few months ago.

This has bailout written all over it.  And, agreed, it's basically a jobs program at this point.  Part of the reason it will get bailed out.  Union being the other reason.  It's the GM of the delivery business.

Back in the 90s I cut my teeth in the Direct Mail industry.  Don't call it Junk Mail around Junk Mail people, by the way.  We thought we were SO high-tech back then!  High speed computer-controlled laser printers and customized letters with everyone's name printed right on it- no more blow-on labels!- all shoved into envelopes by intelligent inserters that would put the right "dandruff" into each envelope.  Sheer volume driven by the ever-growing torrent of low introcutory rate credit card offers!

Those were the days, my friend.  We thought they'd never end.


Wed, 02/06/2013 - 09:28 | 3219540 Popo
Popo's picture

Y'know maybe, just maybe, they shouldn't have made every one of their employees a millionaire.    How much money does it take to guarantee someone a $75,000 pension starting at age 50?   More than $1,000,000!   So every USPS worker (many of whom have 6 figure pensions) is actually a millionaire.

Who exactly was the jackass who decided to make every public employee a millionaire, and how on earth did they think that was going to work?




Wed, 02/06/2013 - 09:31 | 3219550 trav777
trav777's picture

excuse me...we need black millionaires and a black middle class.

Diversity is the most important thing in existence.  The USPS helps us achieve that.  If you say that the USPS does a shitty job, then I say so what?  The quality of product is not important- diversity is what matters.

NASA and JPL and these institutions are failures not because they land SUV-sized packages on planets 50M mi away but because they don't have diversity.  Diversity is what makes you a success or failure, not actual performance.  The latter is unimportant, meaningless.

Because shit is free and someone else can always pay for it; especially white people with their "white privilege."  Stereotyping is WRONG except when using phrases like "white privilege."

Wed, 02/06/2013 - 09:37 | 3219573 Dangertime
Dangertime's picture

 A good post on diversity.  Heartiste is one of the best bloggers out there imo, next to Tyler.

Wed, 02/06/2013 - 11:28 | 3219974 trav777
trav777's picture





Pick 2.  you cannot have all 3

edit:  ok, I read some of the reply comments to that blog post.  LOL.  The exemplar of the mental 3rd rail contingent is ever-present.  "Oh, if there weren't evil Potent Director elites controlling us through divide and conquer, we could finally achieve the ideals of Lennon and we wouldn't be fighting each other."  Lennon/Lenin, wtf is the difference.

It's bullshit.   These people are still so scared of their mental 3rd rail and this label that they would concoct Potent Directors to export blame for human reality onto.  It's not that we biologically ARE NOT equal, that we biologically DO NOT get along, that there almost CAN BE NO common ground.  Damn, that's just too sad to contemplate so let's insist there are evil masterminds, unseen, pulling the strings and MAKING it thus.

Everyone:  nature doesn't give a fuck what you think or want.  The truth doesn't require your fucking consent to exist.

Wed, 02/06/2013 - 09:58 | 3219636 tango
tango's picture

Keeping priorities in order?  I hear all sorts of mind-numbing crazingess these days.  From "jounalists" declaring a recession is emminent if "massive cuts" go through (1,7%) or "so what if tax increases won't work?  Fairness is the issue." or "it doesn't matter that colleges cut classes to fund female sports that no one attends or tries out for.  It's fair." or "This is a racist nation...with a black President, AG and UN Ambassador"  Have common sense and logic vanished?

Wed, 02/06/2013 - 10:53 | 3219881 Bad Attitude
Bad Attitude's picture

It has nothing to do with fairness. It is all about "social justice," which are really code words for revenge against whitey... Until they run out of whitey's money and the US becomes the next Zimbabwe.

Until then... Forward!

Wed, 02/06/2013 - 11:36 | 3220045 trav777
trav777's picture

I need to upload a what'sapp conversation I've been having with the ZIM chick I banged a couple weeks ago.

It's "illuminating."  Or it would be for all the ZH morons and mental 3rd railers out there.

In essence, she RECOGNIZES and does not dispute that white people built everything.  Her response to it all can be summed up as "clap for the white man.  Now we enjoy his fruits."

She's staunchly PRO MUGABE.  And this is what you idiots just can't fucking GET or GRASP.  Your reality is not THE reality.  Just because you think something is a universal truth neither makes it true nor universal.

Mugabe enabled her to have a lifestyle she wants.  So she supports him DESPITE his objectively having FUCKED the economy so badly that they don't even have a gd'd CURRENCY anymore.  She's like the USD is great.  AIDS was invented in a lab.  Shit is because white men invented facts to justify actions against blacks.  To my statement "white doctors go there for free to  help you savages"..."well they are fools."

You bitchez know that I don't pull the punches on the facts and I already hit it so wtf do i care what she thinks...THEY ARE FOOLS.  Get that through your heads, YT guilt traitors.

Wed, 02/06/2013 - 11:27 | 3219982 BullsNBeers
BullsNBeers's picture

Fucking spot on Popo.

From Browncafe:

"I'm new to this board and I was looking for some info about UPS.....I'm am currently a 30 year old letter carrier making about 72-75K a year with alot of overtime..We get great benny's along with 4 weeks of vacation a year that we can carry over, but I'm really sick of the job and I'm looking for a change"

Read more: Fucking 72-75 plus benifits and four fucking weeks of vacay? To drive around stuffing crap in mailboxes? These are people with drivers licenses doing the same basic crap as I did as a 12 year old delivering newspapers. Unfuckingreal.
Wed, 02/06/2013 - 10:51 | 3219875 KingdomKum
KingdomKum's picture

Yes, in the industry we don't use the "J" word for or product -  we prefer to call it Bulk mail instead . . . 

Wed, 02/06/2013 - 09:03 | 3219475 Beam Me Up Scotty
Beam Me Up Scotty's picture

"Just got an email with the bad news"

Thank goodness you didn't get the junk mail version.  Speaking of junk mail, that is just another "jobz" program.  Think of all the people that are employed to create this junk mail.  Someone has to cut down the trees, someone has to make the paper, someone has to print the advertising.  Then the Post Man gets to haul it to your house.  You haul it to the garbage, and the garbage man hauls it to the dump.  And people think they need to get this stuff on a Saturday?  Talk about employing people to dig a ditch and then employing someone else to fill it in.

I'd say about 5% of the mail I recieve in my mailbox is relevant.  The rest ends up in the trash.

Wed, 02/06/2013 - 09:26 | 3219536 Hippocratic Oaf
Hippocratic Oaf's picture


Just one less day that I won't get someone elses mail.

Our carrier is incompetent.

Wed, 02/06/2013 - 09:42 | 3219546 Dr. No
Dr. No's picture

The other day I knocked on the neigbor one street over to give him a letter, delivered to me, which looked important.  He then handed me a package I was expecting....


EDIT: I just realize, its not a bad business model they have:

Priority mail: expensive, but it gets there and you can track it.

Certified mail: not as expensive, but guaranteed to get there but not by when.

First class mail: cheap, but no guarantees

Wed, 02/06/2013 - 11:11 | 3219939 KansasCrude
KansasCrude's picture

Priority mail: expensive, but it gets there and you can track it.

LMAO you can only track it if one of their worthless employees updates the tracking...good freaking luck with that.   Have shipped some shiney from an online provider on priority (their choice).  Never once have I been able to track.  Its never updated after its picked up.

Spent part of the day Saturday cleaning up the cig buts my mail provider leaves at the end of my driveway.   Have to do this 3x times a year or so as he is a heavy chain smoker and my house seems a favorite spot for him to deposit.  Thought he was picking on me but at a local gathering I heard another complaining.  Nice to know he's not descriminating and picking on me.

Wed, 02/06/2013 - 09:27 | 3219541 Dr. No
Dr. No's picture

Dont forget all the marketing houses being paid to develop more innovative envelopes in order to get you to open them.... "Second notice", "Official Business", "Time sensitive material". "Check enclosed"....

I threw away an IRS letter by mistake once due to these creative, but shamless bastards...

Wed, 02/06/2013 - 09:01 | 3219460 stocktivity
stocktivity's picture

I carried mail 37 years before retiring. believe's not your mail carrier or window clerk causing the bloating. It's the 19 or so levels of management above them that contribute NOTHING to revenue coming in. The only revenue the postal service receives comes through selling stamps and services....and that is the area they keep cutting. The 19 levels of mangement micro-manage this revenue that is taken in by window clerks. Eliminate 18 layers of fat and you have a solvent postal service. As for the model Tyler shows delivering mail....that's a poor slant on a hard working mailperson...she wouldn't last 15 minutes carrying mail in a half a foot of snow or a downpour.

Wed, 02/06/2013 - 09:03 | 3219474 Ralph Spoilsport
Ralph Spoilsport's picture

I know two rural mail carriers who say the same thing. They are currently posting job notices to replace the retirees and are paying bare minimum wages with no benefits and almost no car allowance. The local PostMistress, who looks like a cross between Janet Reno and Janet Napolitano, just got a raise and promotion.

Wed, 02/06/2013 - 09:33 | 3219560 FEDbuster
FEDbuster's picture

There is a bunch of legacy cost from when they actually made money.  Way too many chiefs and not enough Indians is just one of the problems.  Many people are retiring (baby boomers), and their replacements are being hired at half the wages with no benefits. 

The same thing is happening at the USPS as every other business, it's the Walmartization of America.  The new America is "be glad you have some sort of job with minimum wage pay and STFU.  If you don't like it, quit. If you don't quit your bitching, we will fire you."  It's the final phase of the globalization of the slave workforce. 

Wed, 02/06/2013 - 10:02 | 3219654 tango
tango's picture

This perfectly demonstrates the difference betweet a business and government.   Any business would have continual feed back loops, predictive forecasting models and would have removed 15 of those 19 levels of management BEFORE bankruptcy/bailout was emminent.  Considering the massive evidence of history, I am still surprised when people are surprised at yet another example of State mismanagement.  It is the lack of effectiveness studies that dooms these programs. 

Wed, 02/06/2013 - 11:26 | 3220007 MilleniumJane
MilleniumJane's picture

Spot on.  First division I would've removed would have been the stamp designing division.  I understand people collect stamps, but wtf do we need to have 50 different designs to choose from every year?  Personally, I don't know anyone who collects stamps.  I know they're out there, but to me it seems like they would be a very small percentage of revenue brought in.  Just throw an American flag on the damn thing and be done with it.  You're effin' broke.

Wed, 02/06/2013 - 12:09 | 3220149 Dave Thomas
Dave Thomas's picture

I hear Bill Gross collects stamps.

Wed, 02/06/2013 - 15:01 | 3220796 moonstears
moonstears's picture

That is revenue, buy the stamp but don't use it.

Your local bakery could just make buns, but that same flour makes 50 different products which = $. Been a capitalist long?

Wed, 02/06/2013 - 22:30 | 3222018 MilleniumJane
MilleniumJane's picture

Yeah, but how many people do you know actually collect stamps?  Then multiply that number, by, well...let's be generous...1,000.  Now how many artists and printers does the government employ to actually create the damn things?  Now how much do those people, the artists, engravers, printers, etc. get paid?  Not to mention the management that approves the damn things?  I guarantee it isn't minimum wage.  Now who's the capitalist?

Wed, 02/06/2013 - 22:29 | 3222044 MilleniumJane
MilleniumJane's picture

Now here's a little lesson about the printing process:

Wed, 02/06/2013 - 22:26 | 3222026 MilleniumJane
MilleniumJane's picture

Here's a little hint:  there are twelve members on the USPS Citizens Stamp Advisory Committee.

I really love the line at the end of this shit:  The Postal Service receives no tax dollars for operating expenses and relies on the sale of postage, products and services to fund its operations.

Wed, 02/06/2013 - 09:05 | 3219482 Beam Me Up Scotty
Beam Me Up Scotty's picture

And you voted for the very people that continue the bloat.  You know, because government is Important.

Wed, 02/06/2013 - 09:12 | 3219499 spinone
spinone's picture

Yeah, but she's hot.

Wed, 02/06/2013 - 09:33 | 3219554 ihedgemyhedges
ihedgemyhedges's picture

If my mail carrier looked like that, I promise you I would be less productive.  I'd be waiting by the mailbox EVERY F'N DAY until she made her run.........

DISCLOSURE: Married 18 1/2 years.  Last 10 years to a reborn virgin........

Wed, 02/06/2013 - 09:35 | 3219566 FEDbuster
FEDbuster's picture

WTF is a "reborn virgin"?  You mean she cut you off?  For ten fucking years, and you are still there?

Wed, 02/06/2013 - 09:42 | 3219586 ihedgemyhedges
ihedgemyhedges's picture

Glad you asked.  A "reborn virgin" is a woman who no longer think the marriage contract applies to sex. In other words, she longs for the day when giving her body to a young man felt very special and was like a precious thing she was giving away and should be cherished.  And that shit doesn't work after a few years of yeah, cut off.

Still here? Yeah.  Divorce atty said "You will lose your kids, you will lose half your assets and the alimony will not be pretty."

That's why I've said on this board SO many times: Renting is cheaper than buying...................

Wed, 02/06/2013 - 10:20 | 3219646 FEDbuster
FEDbuster's picture

Then in my book, you have carte blanche to go "rent" some pussy anytime you feel the urge.  For me, I would take the "hit" and leave.  Life is too short to be dealing with that shit.  Depending on the age of the kids, I would also tell them why you are leaving.  Staying around some fucked up, ball busting bitch is no way to live.

My buddy had to leave his wife, who likes to fuck young guys, 8 years ago.  He took the "hit" and still battles with the cunt over money, the kids, etc...  She (age 44) is now (after 20+ "boyfriends in 8 years) going to marry a 26 year old part-time construction worker. 

Wed, 02/06/2013 - 12:02 | 3219906 moonstears
moonstears's picture

hedge, that's a sad story, I hope you're bullshittin'. We'd have to have a sit down at my house over that one, like 9yrs 11mos ago. (As a person who's had terminal health issues in the last 6-7 years, and survived two different highly potentially terminal issues in that period, my advice is to discuss this TODAY! with your spouse, life is bloody short, man, I'm not even 42 yet, but I can tell you that every day's a gift and you gotta forget yesterday and move forward. I'm not sayin' fuck around on her or divorce her, I'm saying address that it's an issue, to her face, express your view, then shut the fuck up and let her explain what the hell she's really saying by cutting you off. If it can be fixed, work to do it, if not, be graceful tell her you loved her once and forget the "money", thank her for your children, but let her know you need something she's not willing to give, and you'ld miss her, if you ever had to quit the relationship. She needs security, which you provide, you need intimacy, which she evidently does not provide. This may wake her up, or bite you in the ass, worst case you're still cut off, but it'll open her eyes. Just my opinion)

Wed, 02/06/2013 - 11:12 | 3219944 Hippocratic Oaf
Hippocratic Oaf's picture

Airplanes, boats and pussy.....always cheaper to rent.

Wed, 02/06/2013 - 11:25 | 3220001 SokPOTUS
SokPOTUS's picture

"Hertz Rent-A-Puss"...(say it a few times to yourself) ...doesn't sound very appealing....

Wed, 02/06/2013 - 12:42 | 3220280 Mr Kurtz
Mr Kurtz's picture

Like my old man use to say (when not in earshot of ma), "Sonny, if it flies, floats or it, don't buy it!

Wed, 02/06/2013 - 11:41 | 3220066 trav777
trav777's picture

ok, hedge, you came to the right place, bc Ima bout to lay some troof on that azz.

I'll give you the SAME ADVICE she would get from a woman's board.

Start hiding assets.  Reduce income.  Make her go to work.  Then bushwhack her out of nowhere with a divorce filing.  Change the fucking locks, move everything out, drain all the accounts that are in both names.  Just go alpha strike.

Sue her for nonperformance in tort along with divorcing her.  Also, relocate to a custody-favorable shared custody state.

You have the rest of your life, don't be letting that cunt fuckin ruin it.

Wed, 02/06/2013 - 13:43 | 3220491 ihedgemyhedges
ihedgemyhedges's picture

I like you trav.......

Wed, 02/06/2013 - 12:47 | 3220293 BeaverFever
BeaverFever's picture

WD 40 and stairs are a slippery mix. At least that were the last words that my first wife gasped after falling head first down the stairs with a load of laundry...

Wed, 02/06/2013 - 11:19 | 3219970 Demonoid
Demonoid's picture

You need to go here and start reading.



Wed, 02/06/2013 - 11:38 | 3220056 SokPOTUS
SokPOTUS's picture

Mine *is* hot.  She's probably 50 or real close, but so am I.  Thin and clear she keeps in shape; outgoing (= single and flirty with every guy), still has shoulder-length hair; and got the dyed blond thing going if you like that...

...and yeah, I do go out to the mailbox on the Saturdays when I hear the mailtruck coming up the street and she always hands me the mail personally when I do with a giggly, happy turn of phrase...

Harmless fun for an 18-year-married guy.  Wife hasn't figured out why I'm so anxious to get the junk mail yet - she never bothers to go to the post - even on weekdays when she could retrieve it hours before me.  Yep, I'm pathetic - I'm married; but that's redundant.

I'll miss Uncle Sam's ray of sunshine, personally.  Only thing he's ever done for me.



Wed, 02/06/2013 - 09:18 | 3219514 Raymond Reason
Raymond Reason's picture

One of the few federal govt agencies that actually provides a service, bloated as it is.  Therefore the first to endure an actual expense cut.  Long live Depts of Energy and Education. 

Wed, 02/06/2013 - 12:44 | 3220285 Midas
Midas's picture

Pentagon, CIA, FBI, TSA, EPA, DHS etc.

Wed, 02/06/2013 - 09:24 | 3219531 Shizzmoney
Shizzmoney's picture

Interesting insight.  The quit rates (which David Rosenberg mentioned in a ZH post) have been low in all industries, especially at the USPS (because of the good health care), and this has affected the turnover of not only those management positions, but also of the hiring of younger carriers to replace those retiring.

Thank you for your service, BTW.  You guys put up with alot of shit.


Wed, 02/06/2013 - 11:21 | 3219940 TheFourthStooge-ing
TheFourthStooge-ing's picture


Thank you for your service, BTW.  You guys put up with alot of shit.

Including bullshit like this article.

[Disclaimer: never worked for the Post Office, nor do I have friends/relatives working there.]

This particular Tyler is wrong on two counts.

First of all, the Post Office would actually be turning a profit if not for the onerous pension funding rules imposed upon it.

Congress requires the Post Office to fully fund its pension fund decades ahead, not only for current employees, but projected future employees (it's something crazy like 75 years or so, which means that some of this money is funding pensions for as yet unborn employees). Congress then promptly loots this fund, leaving behind IOUs.

Secondly, there will be no bailout. This whole Post Office thing is a stalking horse, one which can only be recognized when placed in proper context. The excessively burdensome pension funding requirement was created for one purpose: to kill the Post Office. The postal system is one of the federal government's legitimate responsibilities, as enumerated in the constitution. If the Post Office can somehow be killed off without a constitutional amendment, it will set a precedent for dismantling the constitution piecemeal.

The previous ZH post office piece sourced an article from the Wall Street Journal which was nothing more than a smear job. Tarring the subject with the brush of government waste and ineptitude allows the WSJ to give the story a strong slant while maintaining a faux posture of journalistic "integrity".

Such Post Office smear jobs are simply well designed propaganda. That one of the Tylers continues to fall for it just illustrates the effectiveness of the smear.

Wed, 02/06/2013 - 11:41 | 3220065 buckethead
buckethead's picture

Every word true.


Let us consider the fact that maintaining and operating a postal service is one of the FEW things the government involves it's self in, which is actually authorized and mandated by the Constitution.

Of course there is room for improvement. As my father was a mail carrier and later a clerk, I can attest to a previous commenter's remarks about multiple levels of management and their utter uselessness. (Even if dear old Dad was a bit biased)

Coupled with their pension funding requirements, they are doomed to fail. Look out for a vulture capital aquisition.... errrrr privatization effort.

Congress is fleecing the pension, just like they do SS. 

We have a decent COnstitution, it is just manipulated and ignored.

Wed, 02/06/2013 - 09:36 | 3219569 trav777
trav777's picture

Our national policy must be to INCREASE this bloat because this is where we get our black managerial class from.

Without this layer of bloat and race-based promotion guidelines, we would lack the proper images of blacks with suburban mcmansions and big SUVs.  This would be a national crisis of unimaginable proportions.

No stone should remain unturned to rectify "white privilege" and enhance diversity.  It doesn't matter if the mail doesn't get delivered or it costs $50 for a letter or if the lights don't come on or the roads in the countryside have massive potholes like in RSA or if the currency is completely destroyed like in ZIM or if almost every artifact of former civilization is dilapidated and wrecked like Detroit or Belgian Congo, diversity is the PRIME DIRECTIVE in everything.  Success and failure is determined by how much diversity you have.

In that respect, the USPS is a shining example of success; a true paragon.  Industries like silicon valley and the space program are total failures.  They should be eliminated like advanced science classes were at Berkeley HS and for the same reasons.

Wed, 02/06/2013 - 10:04 | 3219668 FEDbuster
FEDbuster's picture

If it was just only stupid blacks being raised up.  I see all races represented in the stupid manager, middle class government jobs arena.  Sure blacks seem to stick out, but there are whites and hispanics in there, too.  They wouldn't last a day in private industry, but in any type of .gov job they survive and thrive.

Wed, 02/06/2013 - 11:45 | 3220083 buckethead
buckethead's picture

Trav is Archie Bunker.

The writer's intent for that sitcom was to parody the grumpy, white, racist, working class boob with the intent of revealing the nature of white America to white Americans. Funnily enough, it backfired and Archie became a role model.

My guess is trav is a rather liberal troll goading ZHers into revealing their "true racist tendencies".

Personally, I don't care where he's coming from, but I am tired of his weak commentary.

Wed, 02/06/2013 - 13:41 | 3220476 trav777
trav777's picture

of course!  Archie was a stereotype produced by jewish media of a person that DOESN'T EXIST.

but he was the "real" and "true" white america, wasn't he?  The white america that didn't seal the border, that elected obama, that supports affirmative action, that crusades in places like Haiti, that every other chick in wants to go to africa as a volunteer to help out.  Yes, THAT RACIST REAL AMERICA.

The hidden one.  Hidden, unseen like a miasma...floating and wafting around to oppress blacks when they least expect it.  Just like the Atlanta child murderer was, according to the inner city, MOST DEFINITELY a white man.  Had to be.  Nothing bad ever happens to a black person without that evil true white america, usually people with german accents, behind it all.  TRUE crime is committed by whites like on CSI and they're behind every evil imaginable.

You've really caught me out man, with your keen wit...the perspicacity of it is like a can of tuna- a small can.

but you're absolutely right...Archie was showing white america TO white america and showing white people that they were racist EVEN IF THEY DIDN'T KNOW THEY WERE.  The REAL white america is Archie Bunker, of course, just like the REAL definition of "racist" only applies to one group and is BY DEFINITION applicable to that group as a function of being in that group.  See, you're Archie no matter how you act or how you are.  You're guilty motherfucker even if you don't do anything to produce guilt.  And because it's on TV, that shit is GOSPEL.

Why do we even have the word "white" anymore?  Just change it to "racist."

So, we have asian americans, african americans, latino americans, and racist americans.  I think when people ask me what I am, I'll say I'm a racist american from now on because that's functionally interchangeable with white by the definition of the word.

Wed, 02/06/2013 - 18:30 | 3221503 buckethead
buckethead's picture

That was a fairly long rebuttle full of self victimization. Easily as reprehensible as any minority charge against whitey.


All because of the Jews... Indeed.


Are you really so weak that Jews you never met define your existence?  I'm not.

Wed, 02/06/2013 - 10:07 | 3219676 Son of Loki
Son of Loki's picture

That model would NOT have to work hard delivering mail. She can work in my office next to my typist (who doesn't know how to type).

Wed, 02/06/2013 - 10:11 | 3219690 mr1963
mr1963's picture

Is that you bukowski?

Wed, 02/06/2013 - 10:32 | 3219765 Dapper Dan
Dapper Dan's picture

Response to stocktivity


Between 1914 and 1967, the number of capital ships in the British navy declined by 78.9 percent, the number of dockyard workers by 33.7 percent. 

 Yet during this same period the number of dockyard officials and clerks increased by 247 percent, and the number of Admiralty officials increased by 796 percent, (Parkinson 1957: 8; 1971: 4)


Wed, 02/06/2013 - 15:09 | 3220832 double 007
double 007's picture

spot on stocktivity, i got 20years in & counting it is one top heavy organization!!!!!!

Wed, 02/06/2013 - 15:09 | 3220833 double 007
double 007's picture

spot on stocktivity, i got 20years in & counting it is one top heavy organization!!!!!!

Wed, 02/06/2013 - 09:50 | 3219614 insanelysane
insanelysane's picture

Not broke.  They control the printing presses.  They just need to print a trillion dollar stamp.  Problem solved.

Wed, 02/06/2013 - 09:58 | 3219640 Dr. No
Dr. No's picture

Yep;  Assign an arbitrary value of future claim on letter delivery.  Securitize it and sell shares.

Wed, 02/06/2013 - 09:51 | 3219616 SheepDog-One
SheepDog-One's picture

Mail hasn't been getting delivered here until after 7 PM! Used to be around noon always.

Wed, 02/06/2013 - 12:05 | 3220132 QE?
QE?'s picture

Will their salaries be reduced since they're working 4 less days per month?

Wed, 02/06/2013 - 13:29 | 3220436 FEDbuster
FEDbuster's picture

They are all on the clock, working for hourly wages. Now all the Saturday mail will be dumped on them on Monday, so most will be working more hours on Mondays.  They will save some on hours and gas, plus shut down all the counters on Saturdays.

Wed, 02/06/2013 - 08:48 | 3219429 Vlad Tepid
Vlad Tepid's picture

Looks like their play to sponsor Lance "One Nut" Armstrong didn't pan out too well...

Wed, 02/06/2013 - 11:43 | 3220074 SokPOTUS
SokPOTUS's picture

Or the royalties paid to the Steve Miller Band..

Wed, 02/06/2013 - 08:48 | 3219430 negative rates
negative rates's picture

We don't even get fri delivery around here.

Wed, 02/06/2013 - 08:48 | 3219431 TotalCarp
TotalCarp's picture

Not to worry, their union will issue some threats and its all gonna be fixed by itself.

Wed, 02/06/2013 - 08:51 | 3219441 GetZeeGold
GetZeeGold's picture



Time to bust some heads.

Wed, 02/06/2013 - 08:58 | 3219464 Zgangsta
Zgangsta's picture

I got me an onion.  Just say the word and I'll tie it onto my belt!

Wed, 02/06/2013 - 09:02 | 3219471 TotalCarp
TotalCarp's picture

The amusing part is, i have just received a package which was 2 months late and had half of the things stolen. USPS for ya.

So yeah i sorta hope they all choke and drop dead at this partic moment.

Wed, 02/06/2013 - 09:09 | 3219489 Beam Me Up Scotty
Beam Me Up Scotty's picture

Hopefully it wasn't from Apmex.

Wed, 02/06/2013 - 08:58 | 3219462 Dangertime
Dangertime's picture

They could hire the hostess union, I hear they are available to feed off of a new host.

Wed, 02/06/2013 - 09:04 | 3219478 TotalCarp
TotalCarp's picture


Wed, 02/06/2013 - 09:23 | 3219528 Jayda1850
Jayda1850's picture

And also like the government, they "are there to help".

Wed, 02/06/2013 - 08:50 | 3219434 Martial
Martial's picture

If they stop delivering mail on 8 days out of the week, they can turn a profit, right?

Wed, 02/06/2013 - 08:58 | 3219461 Zgangsta
Zgangsta's picture

At the going rates, every letter they receive results in a 24 cent loss even before it's delivered.

First class mail needs to go up to $5 for them to start turning a profit...assuming volume doesn't drop further.

Wed, 02/06/2013 - 08:51 | 3219438 EscapeKey
EscapeKey's picture

"It's a little known fact that printing money causes prosperity" --'Fiscal' Cliff Clavin

Wed, 02/06/2013 - 08:51 | 3219440 Debtonation
Debtonation's picture

I only pick my mail up once a week anyway.

Wed, 02/06/2013 - 08:51 | 3219442 ZippyBananaPants
ZippyBananaPants's picture

Amazon can buy them

Wed, 02/06/2013 - 08:53 | 3219445 Mi Naem
Mi Naem's picture


The teaser story on your front page shows the picture of a most delightful postal carrier. 

If there are lay off at the postal service, perhaps she and her friends could find work for the TSA at airports. 

Then, I might consider flying again. 

Wed, 02/06/2013 - 08:56 | 3219454 Zgangsta
Zgangsta's picture

I'd happily pay the USPS for her "services" to help them out.  Win/win situation!

Wed, 02/06/2013 - 09:05 | 3219480 GetZeeGold
GetZeeGold's picture



Beats having to shell out big bucks for a trip to the Dominican Republic. Just change a couple laws. We could probably get a couple Senators on our side.

Wed, 02/06/2013 - 09:20 | 3219520 Zgangsta
Zgangsta's picture

And they've got a door to door delivery service already in place.  Talk about synergy!

Wed, 02/06/2013 - 11:50 | 3220096 SokPOTUS
SokPOTUS's picture

True.  Senators get to do things that the grunts at the SEC can only dream about...

Wed, 02/06/2013 - 08:56 | 3219457 youngman
youngman's picture

I would lick her stamp..............

Wed, 02/06/2013 - 11:51 | 3220098 SokPOTUS
SokPOTUS's picture

...instead, we're going to liquidate her assets....

Wed, 02/06/2013 - 09:09 | 3219491 ZippyBananaPants
ZippyBananaPants's picture


I would like to add that I clicked on the story to get a larger image of the 'delightful postal carrier'.  Only to once again get nothing.

 Please, in the future have a download-able verson of the 'most delightful's' for your dedicated readers!

Wed, 02/06/2013 - 09:15 | 3219506 Ralph Spoilsport
Ralph Spoilsport's picture

Try clicking on the picture itself. Worked for me.

Wed, 02/06/2013 - 09:23 | 3219529 ZippyBananaPants
ZippyBananaPants's picture

Thank you Ralph, sometimes I don't know how I make it through the day

Wed, 02/06/2013 - 08:56 | 3219447 Ralph Spoilsport
Ralph Spoilsport's picture

The USPS has a big push on to convince long time employees to retire. Our rural route carrier has been great and retired a few weeks ago. His replacement won't even close the mailbox door and has a severe reading comprehension problem. I've had to go into the pasture by the mailbox and retrieve checks and bills before a cow ate them.

Wed, 02/06/2013 - 09:02 | 3219473 cossack55
cossack55's picture

STOP!!!!  Tell your creditors the cow ate the sorry.....check will be there soon, but not on Saturday.

BTW, the paper the cow ate is healthier the the toxic GMO shit they normally eat.

Wed, 02/06/2013 - 11:12 | 3219943 prodigious_idea
prodigious_idea's picture

Be careful what you wish for.  There won't ever be an alternative delivery method for 45 cents, or 55, or 65.  And for a $20/year tip at Christmas, my driver seems happy to bring any package to my front door.  Hell, he even knows when something is mis-addressed and re-sorts at the regional office to make sure it ends up in my box.   And the so-called junk mail?  That's what generates the most revenue for the USPS.  Shut it down?  Great idea.  Now we've got 500,000 new people on the UE reports. Raise the fucking rate so they're solvent.  Never gonna be a better option.

Wed, 02/06/2013 - 08:55 | 3219451 Zgangsta
Zgangsta's picture

Why not cut Wednesday delivery?  Then you don't have to wait three days to receive a letter.

Wed, 02/06/2013 - 10:19 | 3219724 AynRandFan
AynRandFan's picture

Stick with the private sector.  You're obviously not government material.

Wed, 02/06/2013 - 12:50 | 3220302 Midas
Midas's picture

The PostMaster General's original request was Tuesday, which is the lowest volume day.  Congress shot him down, post haste if you'll pardon the expression.

Saturday is actually a heavy volume day, and preferred by many mailers as more people have time to look through the mail on Saturdays.

When the USPS says it will save 2 billion they assume no mail volume loss.  Does anyone think that is a good assumption?

Wed, 02/06/2013 - 08:55 | 3219452 Silverhog
Silverhog's picture

That picture does not look anything like my mail lady. My mail lady can grow a better mustache than I can and smokes a cigar.

Wed, 02/06/2013 - 08:56 | 3219455 Randy Goodnight
Randy Goodnight's picture

Last time I was in my local post office I tried to buy a couple of stamps with a $20.  They couldn't break the bill.  I told the fucktard to go next door to the grocery store and GET SOME FUCKING CHANGE!  (Yes, just like that)

Last time my wife went into a post office, they offered her designer stamps for a 30% cost premium.  She said no thanks, just give me the regular ones. - They didn't have enough.

We don't use the post office anymore.

Wed, 02/06/2013 - 09:50 | 3219612 Jani
Jani's picture

<<<<<They couldn't break the bill.>>>>>

Got a good laugh out of that.

Same thing happens in my local PO -- everytime I go in there it seems like all the clercks are scrambling for change.

I owned a bar for 17 years, and the first thing I would do every day is to make sure there is enough extra singles, five's and quarters for the day. Used to keep a $1000 change box.

I would think, an operation like a Post office would keep a safe with at least ten grand in small bills and coins for back-up. 

Goes to show, people running the PO have no clue how to run a business -- same with everybody else in .gov.

Wed, 02/06/2013 - 08:56 | 3219456 Randy Goodnight
Randy Goodnight's picture

Last time I was in my local post office I tried to buy a couple of stamps with a $20.  They couldn't break the bill.  I told the fucktard to go next door to the grocery store and GET SOME FUCKING CHANGE!  (Yes, just like that)

Last time my wife went into a post office, they offered her designer stamps for a 30% cost premium.  She said no thanks, just give me the regular ones. - They didn't have enough.

We don't use the post office anymore.

Wed, 02/06/2013 - 08:58 | 3219463 Korbin Dallas
Korbin Dallas's picture

LED-based lightbulb. We're talking about the gub'mint.

Wed, 02/06/2013 - 09:12 | 3219465 JustObserving
JustObserving's picture

Time to start USPS Hooters.  Scantily clad women will deliver your mail if you pay $100 a year.  And you can buy sexy stamps for $1 each - forever sexy stamps. You can't just lick one.

There is no business problem that sex cannot solve in these United States.

Wed, 02/06/2013 - 08:59 | 3219467 toomanyfakecons...
toomanyfakeconservatives's picture

Time to pull the plug on the USPS life support machine... Obamacare style.

Wed, 02/06/2013 - 08:59 | 3219468 LMAO
LMAO's picture
Broke US Postal Service Cuts Saturday Delivery

And how about the other days of the week......Some serious money could be saved here.

Wed, 02/06/2013 - 09:00 | 3219470 williambanzai7
williambanzai7's picture


Wed, 02/06/2013 - 09:04 | 3219477 cossack55
cossack55's picture

Damned funny. Thats a keeper.

Wed, 02/06/2013 - 09:11 | 3219472 Dewey Cheatum Howe
Dewey Cheatum Howe's picture

The sad thing is the USPS like other institutions are being mandated to death by Congress. It is not an operating revenue cash flow problem but the usual business killer of overburdensome pension funding.

For the third quarter of its 2012 fiscal year, the United States Postal Service reported a net loss of $5.2 billion and projected continuing large losses and "very low levels of cash" for the remainder of the fiscal year. With that came news that the Postal Service had failed to make a $5.5 billion dollar payment to the Treasury Department. An additional $5.6 billion payment was missed today.

This report and the missed payments fed the narrative of the Postal Service as a dying institution, hopelessly ill-equipped to adapt to the digital age, with the inevitable government bailout at taxpayer expense soon at hand.

Yet the Postal Service could have instead chosen to report that its operating revenue was stable and that its operating losses were smaller than forecast and improved from the same period last year. And they could have also pointed out that the decline in first-class mail volume and revenue was smaller than expected and that Shipping Services achieved dramatic record growth.

Why this disconnect?

There are many reasons, but by far the most important is that the Postal Service's losses are largely the product of a congressional mandate imposed on no other public or private enterprise in America. Since 2006, Congress has forced the Postal Service to make enormous annual contributions into a fund for future retiree health benefits, including the $5.5 billion and $5.6 billion mentioned above. In fact, since they began, these payments have accounted for more than 80 percent of the Postal Service's losses.

It is worth noting that the Postal Service's pension funds are overfunded and the retiree health care fund -- into which these payments are transferred -- currently contains almost $45 billion dollars, enough to pay retiree health costs for decades to come.


And why do think that is? Can you say slush fund for congress to spend on budgetary priorities aka pork. It is just another piece of the theft of people's wealth going on wholesale these days in this case raiding the pension fund by requiring more than reasonably expected paid in short term vs. long term pay outs.

Wed, 02/06/2013 - 09:18 | 3219515 pepperspray
pepperspray's picture

I'm tired of the "it's the pension obligation mandated by congress" narrative as the source of all postal woes.   Spoken like a true union member.. it's all Congress' fault.

USPS still miss these payments and no body goes to jail.  Sound familiar?  Laws are broken and no body reacts.

Oh- and for a broke organization, carriers are getting new scanners with GPS beacons.  So, where's that cash coming from?


Wed, 02/06/2013 - 09:26 | 3219535 Dewey Cheatum Howe
Dewey Cheatum Howe's picture

I'm not pro USPS, I've seen the winners they hire but the problems are seldom as simple as just blame the unions. For all we know the unions could have quietly lobbied for the mandate also so they can take a skim off the top too. The unions can't steal without congress backing them. And groups of congress get a guaranteed voting block. One hand washes the other.

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